All in the Family

Part 2

 

 

 

The wind had died down and it was a picture perfect evening as Cassie and JC left for the dance.  Johnny had gone overboard taking pictures.  Jen had come over as promised and helped Cassie to get ready.  When she’d come down the stairs, Johnny was astonished.  Was this his little girl?  She was absolutely stunning in the flowing blue dress that seemed to accentuate her bright blue eyes.  She wore a simple strand of pearls that had been her mothers and pearl drop earrings.  JC was equally as handsome in his black and white tuxedo and together they made quite a pair.

 

They left by seven to meet some of Cassie’s friends for dinner before the dance and after they’d gone Jen began to gather her belongings.

 

Johnny came into the room with two glasses of wine and saw Jen preparing to leave.

 

“In a hurry, Jen.  I was hoping that you’d stay and have dinner with me,” he said with more than a hint of disappointment.

 

“No, no hurry but I know you need your space, John,” she replied evenly.  She had determined after Wednesday’s conversation that it was up to him to make the next move.  She thought back to the little situation they’d found themselves in that morning.  Okay, so she’d been bad but she had to make sure he knew what he was giving up.  That didn’t count as making a move, she decided.

 

She was going to make this hard, wasn’t she, he thought.  Well, I’m too old for playing games.

 

“Please, Jen, stay,” he pleaded.  “You said this morning that we’re not over and you’re right but we do have some … some issues.”  He came up to stand directly in front of her and offered her the wineglass.

 

She hesitated, not sure if she could or would survive another discussion of John’s issues as he called them.

 

His eyes bore into her, pleading, begging and she found herself accepting the wine glass.  Her heart was betraying her head.

 

Johnny took her by the hand and led her to kitchen.  He guided her to a chair at the table.

 

“Please, my lady,” he said sweeping his arm toward the chair.  “You sit and relax while I fix us a meal fit for a queen.”

 

“You used to call me your princess, Johnny.  Now I’m a queen,” she teased.

 

“You were a princess when you were a little girl.”  He leaned in close to kiss her but stopped short and giving her back a taste of her own medicine said, “I’ve noticed that you are no longer a little girl, Jennifer.”

He straightened and in three long strides had the refrigerator open and was pulling various items out to prepare their dinner.

 

He knew she thought he was going to kiss her and he’d thought about it.  He’d wanted to, but after the torture she’d put him through this morning, she deserved a little herself.  This was nothing compared to what she’d done to him.  He’d spent twenty minutes under a cold shower trying to fix what she’d done.

 

They both kept the conversation simple as Johnny prepared dinner.  Jen offered many times to help but Johnny just waved her away saying that she was his guest.  Being a single father had helped Johnny to develop some culinary skills and in a short time, they feasted on steamed vegetables and flounder, which the wine complimented very well.

 

Somewhere along the line, Jen had realized that Johnny had done some preparation beforehand.  He knew I’d stay, she thought but not regretting it.

 

Johnny wouldn’t even let her help with the clean up.

 

“Go outside and wait for me on the deck,” he instructed.  “It’s a beautiful night.  The stars are out the moon is bright.  I won’t keep you waiting long,” he promised.  He wouldn’t keep himself waiting long, he thought.

 

Jen did as he’d asked and it truly was a beautiful night.  The wine had relaxed her and Johnny was being so sweet and things were beginning to feel right with her world again.  She stood at the railing and waited for him to join her.

 

The scene was familiar as Johnny slid his arms around her waist and lowered his head next to hers.

 

“Beautiful,” he whispered in her ear.

 

“Yes, it is a wonderful night,” she sighed contentedly.

 

Johnny turned her in his arms and his eyes bore into her soul.  “I wasn’t talking about the night.  I was talking about you.”

 

He lowered his head and brought his lips to hers softly at first before deepening the kiss.

 

“Oh, Johnny,” she moaned when he pulled back. 

 

“God, what you do to me, Jennifer,” he said softly into her hair.  He’d made his choice.  He couldn’t stop loving Jennifer now if he tried.  Roy was just going to have to understand or at the very least accept it.

 

“Come, sit with me,” he said leading her over the glider.  He slid his arm across her shoulders and pulled her against him.  This just felt too right to be wrong and he told her so and he smiled at the look of elation that set upon her face.

 

They stayed out there for a long time.  Kissing, talking, petting but Johnny drew the line when Jen asked him to make love to her.

 

“I would love nothing more than to love you, Jen, but not until your parents know about out relationship.  I won’t do that to them or to you.”

 

She nodded and though she felt the pangs of disappointment, she knew the reasoning behind it.

 

“You may feel differently depending upon how your parents react and I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

 

“Johnny, I could never regret loving you.”

 

“Once we take that step, Jen, there’s no turning back.  I want to take that step with all the cards on the table, nothing hidden.  You’re too special to me for this to be something we have to hide.  You deserve better than that.”

 

“I love you, Jen,” he finished and kissed her one last time.  “Which is why you need to go now,” he said standing and smiling.  He offered her his hand and she took it and he pulled her up.

 

“I love you, too, Johnny and that’s all that matters to me.”

 

He walked her to her car and kissed her long and hard.  He didn’t know when he’d have another opportunity since Cassie’s graduation would be the next day and Roy and Joanne would be there.  As he watched her drive away he knew they’d have to be told soon.  I don’t want to have to hide and I don’t know how long I can wait to make her mine, thought.

 

Johnny turned and walked back to the house whistling as he went.  There was a spring to his step that hadn’t been there for days.  He scratched his head.  Damn, he thought, I should have had Jen take these damn stitches out.  They’re driving me crazy.

 



Cassie's graduation party was in full swing and Johnny's yard was overflowing with people. The ceremony had gone off without a hitch and Johnny had been moved to tears as he watched his daughter walk across the stage to receive her diploma.

They'd had a two-hour void to fill between the end of the ceremony and the first guests arriving and since Roy and Joanne and the rest of the family were all there, Jen had been eager to share their news but Johnny was still reluctant.

He'd told Cassie this morning over breakfast and was surprised at her obvious elation. Happy, but surprised. He'd talked to Jen afterwards on the phone and filled her in on how well it had gone. She was convinced that it wouldn't be as big a deal to her parents as Johnny thought it would but she complied with his request to wait until after the party when everyone else had gone home.

Johnny and Jen carried on as normal and no one was any the wiser. Except Joanne. She'd been careful to take note of the way they interacted and it only confirmed what she originally suspected. She'd seen the way Johnny's twinkled each time they found Jenny in the crowd. And she noticed how Jenny seemed to brush up against Johnny each time she was near him. Yes, Joanne thought, there is definitely something more going on here than just a friendship.

She looked around for Roy but he didn't appear to have noticed a thing. That's men for you, she thought. You had to smack them right in the face with something to get them to notice. Well, this would certainly be a smack in the face to Roy.

Joanne wanted to be so angry at Johnny. What right did he have to go after her daughter? But she watched him as his eyes seemed to follow Jenny whenever she went. This was serious. This didn't appear to be one of Johnny's flings but yet rather something more. She didn't know what scared her more, the fact that Johnny would be carrying on with her daughter or the fact that Johnny might be in love with her daughter.

As the party came to a close, the Desoto's helped Johnny and Cassie with the clean up. Chris and his wife, Cathy had left earlier. With three kids under the age of eight that needed to be put to bed, they didn't have the luxury to hang around.

Johnny had tried hinting all day to Roy in the hopes that he wasn't completely blown away when they made the announcement but it hadn't seemed to work. Johnny just knew it was going to be bad. He felt it
in his gut. He felt sorry for Roy actually. He had no clue as to what he was about to be hit with. Johnny once again had the thought that he wouldn't like it if it were his kid. But one look at Jen and he knew what had to be done.

Everything had been cleaned up and put away and Johnny thanked Roy and Joanne and also JC who stayed behind to help. Johnny asked them if they could stay for awhile as he had a matter to discuss with them.

Joanne's head shot up and she looked from Johnny to Jennifer and back to Johnny again. Roy became concerned about his friend.

"Hey, Junior, you sound so serious. I hope nothing's wrong?"

"No, Roy, just something that I need to tell both you and Joanne," Johnny answered honestly.

Roy looked at his wife to see if she had any idea what this was all about but she quickly looked away. It didn't go unnoticed by Jen. She knows, she thought. I'm not sure what she's thinking but she knows.

Johnny had noticed as well and became slightly panicked. Of course, Cassie already knew this was going to take place and she had gone up to room as her father had requested. In her innocence, she didn't understand why Johnny thought that Roy would be upset.

"Please sit," he said indicating that they should take the couch. Jen sat beside Johnny on the loveseat. JC was hanging out in the doorway. For some reason, he felt that he was intruding and didn't venture any closer.

"Roy, Joanne," John began. "I want you to know that I never had any intentions for this to happen but…"

He'd gone over this in his head a million times today but now that he actually had to say it to his friends, it sounded lame.

"But things have a weird way of working out. Especially for me, anyway. And, well, I don't know how else to say it except to come right out with it."

Roy picked up on the tension and just wanted Johnny to spit it out.

"What things John? What are you talking about? What the hell is wrong? It's something, what the hell is it?"

Jen knew Johnny was in agony and in a show of support, she took Johnny's hand in hers. He clung to it like a lifeline.

"Roy, Joanne, I didn't mean for this to happen but lately, well, lately, I've had strong feelings for your daughter." There he'd said it. He looked at Jennifer and she smiled at him.

Roy was dumbfounded. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, JOHNNY? WHAT FEELINGS?" Roy
said raising his voice.

"Roy, now calm down." But Roy showed no signs of calming down. He was no longer sitting on the coach but standing in front of it.

"CALM DOWN! YOU TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND EXPECT ME TO BE CALM!" Roy's face was flushed with anger. "Just what exactly are your feelings, John?"

Joanne held her breath.

"I'm in love with her, Roy," he stated.

"JESUS CHRIST, JOHNNY. SHE'S TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU! WHAT,
YOU COULDN'T FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE TO SEDUCE SO YOU GO AFTER AN
INNOCENT YOUNG GIRL LIKE MY DAUGHTER!" He was screaming now but he didn't care.

"Roy, it's not like that," Johnny tried telling his friend.

"I BRING YOU INTO MY HOME, INTO MY FAMILY AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN?" Roy was fuming and he finally noticed his daughter's hand still linked with Johnny's.

"HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?" he demanded to know. " JENNIFER, WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU AND HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN DOING IT?" The question implied that Johnny had taken liberties with a very young Jennifer Desoto.

"Daddy, calm down. It's not what you think. I love Johnny. I always have," her voice pleaded with him but it did not alleviate Roy's fears.

"How did he seduce you Jennifer? I've seen him in action, you know. You can't believe a word he says."

"Roy," Johnny began but Roy cut him off.

"Don't you speak to me. Don't. I thought you were my friend. I've treated you like a brother. You've been like an uncle to my kids. How the hell am I supposed to react to this?"

Joanne tried to intervene. "Roy, you need to calm down. This is not good for your blood pressure."

Roy, in his anger, lashed out at his wife. "Did you know about this? Did you know what was going on here?"

"No, Roy, I didn't. I began to suspect but I wasn't sure until now," she told him honestly.

"OH," he said raising his voice again. "I SUPPOSE I'M THE LAST TO KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER IS INVOVLED WITH A PERVERT!"

"He is not," Cassie screamed from the steps where she'd gone unnoticed until now. When her uncle began hollering she had come down to see what was going on.

"Cass, go back to your room. Now!" Johnny instructed but the girl stayed put.

"Dad, it was me. It was always me. I pursued him not the other way around. I don't think Johnny would have ever admitted his feelings if it weren't for me throwing myself at him." Jen was being honest but she was also trying to take some of the heat off Johnny.

Roy was losing control. "Jennifer, don't. Don't make excuses for him. John Gage has always been a womanizer. He loves them and leaves them and that's what he's going to do to you. Jennifer."

"No, he won't, Dad. He loves me."

"Yes, he will. I've seen it hundreds of times. Mark my words."

"Roy, I would never hurt Jennifer and I never wanted to hurt you. You've gotta believe me. I tried to ignore this but it won't go away. Please Roy, try to understand."

Roy spun on him. "Don't you tell me what to do, you son of a bitch!" Roy hauled off and hit him.

"Johnny!" Jen screamed.

"Dad!" Cassie cried from the steps. She tried running to him but JC wisely held her back. He didn't want her getting hurt in the melee.

Johnny hit the floor and Roy came to stand over him. "You stay away from my daughter. You stay away from my family and you damn well better stay away from me. The next time I might just kill you." Roy
turned to leave. "Joanne, let's go. JC, I want you to leave. Now," Roy instructed.

He turned to look back. Jennifer was kneeling on the ground by Johnny's head. "Jennifer, let's go," he demanded.

"No."

"I said let's go. Now." Roy had no patience left.

"No. I am not a child. I am a grown woman with a mind of my own. You can't tell me what to do anymore. I love him and this is where I'm staying." She stood her ground but her voice was quivering and tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Roy, it doesn't have to be this way," Johnny pleaded with him.

Roy didn't acknowledge him but stared at his daughter for a moment before he turned and pushed through the front door. Joanne was crying. She was hesitant about what to do but she eventually followed her husband out the door. JC apologized to Cassie but left her on the steps and did the same.

"Jen, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Johnny said as they held each other.

 

 

 

May turned into June and June into July and Roy still would not speak to Johnny or to Jen.  Joanne had tried reasoning with him telling him that he was losing his daughter with his stubbornness but Roy didn’t waver.

 

Jennifer was extremely distraught about the whole situation.  Her father was asking her to choose between her family and the man she loved.  She’d talked to her mother and though Joanne was opposed to the relationship, she didn’t want to alienate her daughter.  She loved her too much to let that happen.  She never told Roy that she had talked to Jen but he’d never asked either. 

 

Thankfully Jennifer’s brothers were still speaking to her.  JC had a very open mind and although Chris couldn’t quite understand the attraction, he knew his sister was capable of making her own decisions about her love life.  Sure he’d always been “Uncle Johnny” to them as kids but even for him that relationship had changed as they grew older.

 

Cassie’s extended family was torn apart and she couldn’t understand why everyone was so upset.  It hurt her deeply to know that she and her father were no longer welcome at her aunt and uncle’s house.  True, they never said she wasn’t welcome but her father wasn’t and that’s where her loyalty lay.  She loved having Jen around but hated seeing both she and her dad so upset.

 

Word quickly spread through the fire department that Captain John Gage was involved with a younger woman and people gossiped about it but no one seemed shocked.  Hell, all of Hollywood was into dating younger women or men as the case may be. It was nothing new in LA.  Those who’d been around a little longer were slightly taken aback as they knew that John Gage was like family to the Desoto’s but most deemed it none of their business.

 

For Johnny, he’d lost his best friend.  The one person in his life that had always been there and it tore him apart.  He’d known it was going to be bad but he had no idea that things would turn out like they had.  It wouldn’t have changed anything though, for Johnny and Jennifer seemed to grow closer as a result.  They spent all of their free time together and finally one night when Cassie had spent the night at a friend’s they consummated their relationship.

 

It was everything that Jen had wanted it to be and then some.  Johnny was so romantic and loving and Jen knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her days with him.  This was the man that she loved, had always loved and would always love.  That knowledge helped to dull the ache caused by her father’s attitude. 

 

Johnny felt the same.  After Julia had died, he thought he’d never love again.  He hadn’t wanted to.  But now he found himself head over heels in love and it felt good.  He felt good and he was gradually coming to terms with his estrangement with Roy.  He wished it could have been different but he didn’t regret loving Jennifer.

 

Cassie seemed to find more and more excuses for sleeping at her girlfriends and Johnny was beginning to get worried.

 

“It’s like she doesn’t want to be here,” Johnny told Jen one morning as they lay in bed together.

 

“I’m sure it’s not that,” Jen replied.

 

“Well, what then?  Let’s see, I worked Monday, Thursday and Sunday last week.  So that means that I was home four days and Cassie was only here two of them.”

 

“Johnny, you’re reading way too much into this, babe.”

 

“I don’t think so.  You don’t think she’s changed her mind, do you?  Or maybe she feels left out.  Like maybe I’m neglecting her.  I’m not doing that, am I?”  He was totally serious and she laughed at him.

 

“John, I think your daughter, in her own way, is trying to make it easier for us to be together without us feeling awkward.  It’s really rather considerate of her but it does need to stop.  This is her home and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable here.  We’ll just have to work something else out, that’s all.”

 

Johnny seemed to consider this for a moment.  He gave Jen the smile that she never tired of seeing.

 

“Close your eyes,” he instructed.

 

“Close my eyes, whatever for?”

 

“Just do it, Jennifer. Please.” She did as he asked and he rolled over and opened the drawer on the night table by the bed.  He pulled out a box.

 

He turned back to Jennifer and he saw her trying to peek.

 

“I said close your eyes,’ he admonished.  “Well never mind now.  You can open them.  Okay, sit up.”

 

“Johnny,” she laughed, “what are you up to?”  Her insides were like jelly.

 

Johnny knelt on the bed in front of her.

 

“Jennifer, my love, I hadn’t planned to do it this way,” he began,  “because I wanted it to be terribly romantic but I can’t wait any longer.”  Oh my god, she thought, he’s going to propose.

 

“I didn’t think it was possible but you’ve shown me how to love again.  In spite of all odds, you’ve given your heart to me.  And you’ve opened up my heart and I want to give it to you.   My life can never be complete without you next to me.”

 

He opened the box and took out the heart shaped diamond.

 

“Jennifer, you have my heart for now and always.  Will you marry me?”

 

Tears were streaming down her face as she shook her head.  “Yes, Johnny.  Oh yes, my love, I’ll marry you.” 

 

Johnny gingerly placed the ring on Jen’s finger kissing her as he did so.

 

“You’ve just made me the happiest man alive,” he said.  Jen was still crying but they were definitely tears of happiness and she was going to show him just how happy she was.

 

As they were eating lunch that afternoon, Cassie returned home and Johnny and Jen told her they were engaged.  She was ecstatic and had a million questions for them.  The most important of all being;

 

“Have you set a date?”

 

Johnny looked at Jen and smiled.  They had only gotten as far as Jen showing him how happy she was.

 

“Jen?” he questioned.  “I’ll marry you tomorrow, just say the word.  Whatever you want,” he told her.

She looked at Cassie.  “Cass, I want you to be my maid of honor so it’ll have to be before you leave for college.  I can’t wait for semester break and we can’t do this without you so I suppose sometime between now and August 31st.”

 

“Oh my God!  Really?  You want me to be your maid of honor.  Oh Jen, it would be my honor,” she said hugging her.  “Oh, I guess I should say ‘Mom’”.  They all laughed and hugged each other.  Cassie was so happy for her dad and for Jen.  They deserved some happiness after everything they’d gone through at the end of May.

 

“Well,” Johnny said excitedly, “that leaves us less than a month to plan a wedding.”  And the three of them spent the afternoon talking about what kind of wedding it should be and where they could have it and trying to find a date that would work for them.  Johnny’s only regret was that he wouldn’t have his best man.

 

 

Roy Desoto was miserable and he was making those around him miserable as well but there was nothing he could do about it.  He wanted everyone to feel as miserable as he did.  His only daughter, his Jenny was involved with a man almost twice her age.  Why was he the only one seemed to be upset about this?

 

He felt so betrayed, by his daughter, by his friend and by his family.  How did this happen?  It was partially his fault, he knew.  He’d let his daughter spend so much time with his partner while she was growing up.  He shouldn’t have done that but he’d trusted his friend with his life everyday and he’d trusted him with his family as well.

 

So much for trust, Roy thought.  He couldn’t trust anyone now.  JC and Chris didn’t seem to mind the situation.  Well, he supposed that Chris was somewhat shocked but not to the point that he himself was.  He knew Joanne hadn’t seen Jenny but she had been talking to her.  He’d come in the back door one day to hear Joanne tell Jen to be patient, that Roy would come around.  Fat chance of that happening, he thought.  Not as long as she’s carrying on with John Gage.

 

And to think he’d name his son after the man.  He’d change that now too if he could, he thought.  It briefly crossed his mind that JC wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Johnny but he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind.  He didn’t want to remember the times that John Gage had come through for his family.  That stuff meant nothing now.  Johnny had taken advantage of his daughter and he would never forgive him.

 

Joanne had tried to talk to him, to tell him that his hostility towards Johnny was too strong.

 

“Roy,” she said, “I know that he is not the man that you or I, for that matter would have picked for Jenny, but she is not your little girl anymore.  She’s a grown woman.  This is not some silly school girl crush.  If you keep this up, you’ll lose her, Roy.  Can you live with yourself if you let that happen?”

 

“Jo, don’t throw that shit at me.  I can’t live with the fact that ‘my so called best friend’ seduced my daughter behind my back.  That’s what I can’t live with,” he spat at her.

 

She counted to ten before continuing because she knew Roy was acting out of frustration more than anything else.

 

“Jenny says that Johnny never even so much as flirted with her, Roy.  Not once, not the whole time she was growing up.  She swears that he never once was inappropriate.  I know you’d like to believe that’s how it happened but I believe her, Roy, I do.  She’s never lied to us, why would she start now.”

 

Roy remained stone faced and silent.  He knew deep down that what his wife was telling him was true but he didn’t want to accept it.  Why would his daughter want someone that was old enough to be her father?  It was beyond reason.

 

“Roy, Jenny has always adored Johnny.  That never changed.  Remember when she used to tell us that she was going to marry him and how cute we all thought it was.”

 

“It’s not so cute now, is it, Jo?” he said snidely.

 

“No, Roy,” she answered sadly.  “But it’s been almost two months now.  Jenny has made her choice and you’re not it and you’ve got to learn to live with it.  You can’t keep doing this to yourself.  You’re driving everyone away, Roy.  Chris and the kids hardly come by anymore and JC, too.”  He looked so sad.  She had loved this man since she was a young girl and her heart broke for him.

 

She had loved this man for a long time, she thought again.  Even though my mother hated him, I still loved him.  Why should Jenny be any different?  We all loved Johnny.  He was kind and considerate and he would do anything for anyone.  This must have been terribly hard for him, Joanne thought now.  Johnny would walk through fire for Roy and had literally done so before.  This couldn’t be a decision that he’d arrived at lightly.  She was only now becoming aware of how deeply her friend must love her daughter in order to have done this to Roy.  Who was she to stand in the way of that?  Wasn’t that what she wanted for her daughter?  For someone to love her so deeply that they’d do anything for her.  For the kind of love that she shared with her own husband.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and she looked at Roy one last time before getting up. 

He was not going come around any time soon, she thought with disappointment.

 

Joanne opened the door to find Jenny on the other side.  She couldn’t believe her eyes.

 

“Jen,” she whispered.

 

“Hi, Mom.”  Joanne hesitated only a second before pulling her daughter into an embrace.

 

“Oh, Jenny, it’s so good to see you.  I’m so sorry about…about everything, Jen”  Joanne was crying and Jen found herself on the verge of tears.  She’d resolved to be strong and she felt herself wavering after only a few minutes.

 

“Um, is Dad, here,” she asked looking around.

 

“Yes, in the living room.  Is everything okay, Jen?  Oh, I’m just so happy to see you,” Joanne gushed.  “Come in, come in.  You’re father will so pleased.”  At least she hoped he would be.

 

Joanne wasted no time in ushering Jennifer into the living room.

 

“Roy, look who’s here.  Look who’s here, Roy.”

 

Roy looked up and saw his daughter.  His beautiful Jenny.  His heart was flooded with love for this girl.  She’d finally come to her senses.

 

“Jennifer,” he greeted her casually.

 

“Dad, it’s good to see you.  It’s been too long.”

 

“You’re here now, Jenny.  That’s all that matters,” Roy told her. 

 

Jenny had come to tell her parents about the wedding.  She was surprised at her father’s reaction.  She thought he would still be upset with her.  She didn’t want to hurt him anymore but she felt that they deserved to hear the news in person, not over the phone or through someone else.

 

“Dad.  Mom.  I came to tell you that Johnny has asked me to marry him and I’ve accepted.”   Jennifer held her breath waiting to see what the reaction would be.  Joanne had a myriad of emotions cross her face and Jen could have sworn that she saw a smile in her eyes but Joanne wisely waited for Roy to voice his opinion first.

 

Roy was speechless.  He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. 

 

“John Gage asked you to marry him,” he finally managed to say.

 

“Yes, Dad, and I’m so happy,” she told him.  She stooped in front of the chair where her father was sitting.  “I hope you can be happy for me, too, Dad.  I know you think it’s crazy but this is what I want, Dad.”

 

“I can’t be happy for you, Jennifer. I can’t.”

 

“Dad, please try to understand.  You and Mom fell in love in what, junior high?”

 

“One has nothing to do with the other,” he stated.

 

“But Dad, don’t you see.  You and Mom were around fourteen when you fell in love.  Did you ever question it?  Did you ever doubt it?  No, you didn’t or you wouldn’t still be married now.  I have loved Johnny for a long time.  I tried not to.  That’s why I chose to go to college and med school in Baltimore, so that I could put distance between us, Dad.  It didn’t work.  It didn’t change the way I feel about Johnny.  Eight years and it still didn’t change the way I feel about him.”

 

“I love you, Dad but I love Johnny, too and he loves me.  He wants to marry me and if you love me then you’ll be happy for me.  Please be happy for me, Dad,” she pleaded.

 

Roy dropped his head to his chest and a sob tore through him.

 

“I just can’t, Jenny.”  He stood and ran from the room.  Jenny was still crouched on the floor and the flood of tears that she had been holding back were finally freed.

 

Joanne crossed the distance between them in no time flat and joined her daughter on the floor.  She held Jenny as she cried and silently cursed Roy for his stubbornness.  She would deal with him later but her daughter needed her now.

 

 

It was the last Saturday in August and the day of the wedding and Jen and Johnny couldn't have asked for a better day. They had decided on this date because Cassie would be leaving for college the next day. Johnny and Jen would drive her up and get her settled before beginning their honeymoon. Johnny didn't want to be away for a whole week on his honeymoon when there was so little time left that Cassie would be home and Jen completely understood.

They were having a small service with only family and close friends in attendance. The only no-show would be Roy and Johnny hated what this was doing to Jennifer. Johnny had asked Chet to stand in for
him as his best man and Chet was only too happy to do it. Cassie, of course, stood for Jen as her maid of honor. After realizing that her father really had no intentions of coming to the wedding, Jen had
asked her mentor and friend, Kelly Brackett, to give her away. Kel was touched to be bestowed with such an honor but he couldn't help but feel that Roy would regret this for the rest of his life.

Jen had invited a few close friends from the hospital and Johnny had invited his crewmen and of course, his friends from 51. Chris, Cathy and kids were there as well as JC and Joanne was glad. When Roy had
told her that he refused to go, he had suggested that she do the same but she wouldn't even consider the idea.

"Our baby girl is getting married and you're telling me not to go," she asked incredulous. "You may be that foolish but I'm not, Roy."

She couldn't believe that he was actually going to miss his daughter's wedding.


"You listen to me, Roy Desoto and you listen good. Do you remember how I felt when my mother wouldn't come to our wedding? Do you remember what that did to me? Don't do the same thing to Jenny, Roy. She doesn't deserve that. If you don't come to this wedding, I will never forgive you.  Never, Roy. You want to lower yourself to my mother's level, to do the exact same thing that you despised her for, then you go right ahead."

She stormed out of the house and had to sit in the car for a full ten minutes before she was calm enough to drive herself to the wedding.

Johnny and Chet stood at the front of the church and Johnny was nervously fiddling with the buttons of his tuxedo. The music began to play and he saw his daughter start down the aisle towards him. She was beaming from ear to ear and it was contagious as John returned the smile. Cassie kept her eyes on her father during the short walk down the aisle. He has never looked happier, she thought. She'd turned eighteen by then and was leaving for college the next day. She wanted to remember every detail about this day and
the father that she loved.

Jennifer kept to the old fashioned notion that the groom not see the bride before the wedding and Johnny's breath was taken away when he saw his bride on the arm of Kelly Brackett. No bride has ever been
more beautiful, he thought and Chet gave him a playful nudge that told him he thought so too. The wedding march began to play and the bride began to make her way down the aisle. Joanne was crying but
this time they were happy tears. Her daughter was so lovely and her love for her husband to be was evident on her face as she looked at Johnny.

They were almost halfway down when someone yelled, "STOP!"

All eyes turned toward the back of the church to see Roy standing there.

"Man," Johnny growled to Chet, "I can't believe he's going to start something now." He took a step in Roy's direction but felt Chet's hand on his arm.

"Wait a second, Johnny. Let's see what he does."

Jen was staring at her father not knowing what to make of the situation when Roy advanced toward her.

"I believe that it is the father who is supposed to give the bride away," he told her. Joanne had been holding her breath not sure of what her husband might do. She was relieved beyond words and glad that Roy was making this effort despite his own feelings.

"Oh, Daddy," Jen cried. "You don't know how happy this makes me," she said hugging him. Roy smiled at his daughter before turning to Kelly Brackett.

"Doc, I know you were supposed to do this but do you mind?"

"Not at all, Roy, not at all." He slapped Roy on the back and slipped into the pew with Dixie.

Roy looked at his daughter. He couldn't believe what an idiot he was. He was going to pass this up because of his own anger and he thanked his lucky stars that Jen still wanted him there.

The music began again and Roy escorted his daughter down the aisle to John Gage. He kissed her cheek and gave her hand to Johnny.

Johnny nodded at Roy and Roy acknowledged it but neither man spoke.

It was a simple ceremony and before long Johnny and Jennifer were pronounced husband and wife. "You may kiss the bride," the minister told him and Johnny was quick to oblige. Roy winced inwardly at the
display but felt his wife's arm slide through his and he knew that he'd done the right thing.


There was a small reception in the church hall and Johnny found time to seek out his friend.

"Roy, I wanted to say thank you for what you did today."

"I didn't do it for you," he said dryly and walked away.

John was left standing speechless.

 

 

 

The newly married Mr. & Mrs. Gage spent a week honeymooning in San Fransisco after getting Cassie settled in at school.  Jen had given up the apartment she was renting and was now happily ensconced at Johnny’s house.  Life was good.

 

Roy still hadn’t come around as far as Johnny was concerned but he loved his daughter and wanted to be a part of her life.  She usually spent the time that Johnny was working visiting with her parents if her schedule allowed.  If her father was trying to compromise then so would she.

 

It still hurt her to think that she had torn apart her father’s friendship with his best friend but she tried not to dwell on it.  It was almost Thanksgiving and Jen was planning a big dinner since Cassie would be home.  She’d invited her parents hoping that time had healed some of the wounds but Joanne had declined knowing that Roy would be uncomfortable.   She extended her apologies saying that Roy wanted her to cook and she felt awkward at not being able to invite her daughter and her new family.

 

The Monday before Thanksgiving, while Jen was in the shower doing her customary monthly breast check, she discovered a lump.  She immediately felt her other breast checking for its twin.  As a doctor, she knew that if she had a matching one in the other breast, chances were good that it was nothing serious.  She didn’t find one.

 

She was panicked and willed herself under control.  She knew all too well the implications that finding a lump presented and even though she knew that women in their thirties often had very dense, lumpy breasts, it did nothing to alleviate her fears.  She passed Johnny coming in from work as she was leaving but she didn’t say anything to him.  She wanted to talk to her GYN first before she got anyone alarmed

 

And she knew Johnny would be more than upset.  It’s probably nothing, she told herself over and over again as she went about her day, but try as she might, she couldn’t convince herself of that.  She found time during a break to stop by her doctor’s office, which was at the hospital and the doctor seeing how upset her patient was, squeezed her in for a quick examination as a professional courtesy.

 

The doctor confirmed Jen’s diagnosis and tried to reassure her that it was probably nothing.

 

“Jen, you know as well as I do, that seven out of eight breast lumps are benign.”

 

“I know that the odds are in my favor but it’s a different story when I’m sitting on this side of desk, Dr. Allen,” Jen said.

 

“Okay, even though I’m fairly sure that you have nothing to worry about, I would be remiss in my duties if we didn’t do some follow-up here.  The first thing I want you to do is to go down to lab.  I’m going to order some blood tests and then we’ll take a chest X-ray.  What kind of hours are you working this week?  Can you fit that in?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got time now to get to the lab and I can get the chest xray down tomorrow because I’m off duty,” Jen told the doctor.

 

“Fine.  I’ll have my secretary call the lab and tell them you’re coming down.  We’ll do the blood work-up and go from there.  Try not to worry, Jen.”

 

“I know, I’ll try but easier said then done,” she remarked.  Jen got up to leave as the doctor notified her secretary to get in touch with the lab.

 

Jen immediately went to the lab and she now that the process was underway to find out what she was dealing with she felt better.  The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly and she pushed all negative thoughts out of head.  Things were going great for her and for Johnny and she had never been happier in her life.

 

That evening as she was sharing a late evening dinner with her husband, she got a call from her doctor.

 

“Jen, its Dr. Allen”

 

“Yes, what can I do for you,” she asked very conscious of the fact that Johnny could hear her side of the conversation.

 

“Jen, I put a rush on your blood tests and I don’t want you to go in for that chest xray tomorrow,’ the doctor informed her.

 

“I don’t understand, why not?”

 

“How long was it been since you’ve had your last menstrual cycle,” the doctor inquired.

 

Jen stammered, “I … I’m not sure, to be honest.  More than a month, now that I think about it.  Why?”

 

“Because Mrs. Gage, you are pregnant!”

 

“Oh my God!  Really?  I feel so foolish for not even realizing that I was late,” she said no longer caring that Johnny could hear.

 

The doctor chuckled on the other side of the line.  “Now, you can see why I don’t want you to have the chest xray.”

 

“Yes, thank you for letting me know.  How do you want to proceed now, though?”

 

“Well, instead I want to do a breast sonogram instead and I’ll have my secretary set it up first thing in the morning.  She’ll call you as soon as possible to let you know what time.  Okay?”

 

“Yes, fine.  That will be fine.  And thank you.”

 

Jennifer was excited and scared and more than a little apprehensive as turned back to face her husband.

 

“What was that all about?” Johnny asked her.  His concern was evident on his face. 

 

She wanted nothing more than to tell him that she was going to have his baby but she still had to deal with the issue of the breast lump.  She didn’t want him worrying but she felt that she needed to be completely honest with him.

 

“You are not going to believe this but I’m pregnant,” she joyfully told him.  She took him completely by surprise.  He had not been expecting that news but once the shock wore off, he was elated.  How could he not be?  The woman that he loved more than anything was going to have his baby.

 

He picked her up and swung her around.

 

“When/”

 

The question threw her.  She hadn’t even thought about a due date.  “I don’t’ know,” she replied.

 

“Whadda ya mean, you don’t know,” he teased, “you’re a doctor for crying out loud.”

 

“I hadn’t even realized that I was late Johnny.”

 

“Well, then why’d you go to the doctors?”  This was the question she feared.

 

“Johnny, sit down, please,” she asked him and he did so not liking the emotions that were now on her face.  She continued, “please don’t get upset until you hear me out.  Promise?”

 

How could he promise that?  He was already upset.  Something was wrong with his wife that warranted a doctor visit and she was now telling him not to get upset.  Yes, he thought, it was definitely something to worry about but he promised her anyway and the color drained from his face as she told him about discovering a lump in her breast.

 

Oh, God, no, he thought silently.  Not again.  I can’t go through this again, he thought. 

 

She watched as his face went white.

 

“Johnny!” she said loudly so as to get his attention.  “This does not mean that I have cancer.  In most cases, these things are benign.  My doctor assures me that I have nothing to worry about.  She wants to do a breast sonogram and then we’ll go from there.”

 

Johnny was maintaining a very thin grasp on his sanity at the moment.  He knew that what Jen had said was true, but he’d been down this road before.  He didn’t think he could travel it again.

 

“Please John, come with me tomorrow.  You can see for yourself that we have nothing to worry about.”  She knew Johnny felt like he was reliving his history with Julia but there wasn’t anything she could say to erase his fears.  Not yet.  There was always a possibility and she couldn’t make promises about this.

 

 

 

The breast sonogram did nothing to alleviate Johnny’s fears or Jen’s.  He and Jen sat in her doctor’s office and listened as she told them that it just was not conclusive enough to rule out cancer.  Also present was Dr. Anderson who was the head of the oncology department.

 

“I’ve consulted with Dr. Anderson and here are two options that we would like to explore at this point.  Jen, it’s up to you to decide how you want to go.   We can do a needle biopsy,” she looked at Johnny to make sure he understood what she was saying.  He nodded and she continued, “it’ll be done under a local anesthesia and we’ll extract some tissue from the lump and send it to the lab for testing.”

 

Dr. Anderson took over.  “Or we can do an excision biopsy.  Normally I like to do this under a general anesthesia but given that you’re expecting, we’ll have to use a local for this as well.  In this procedure, we’ll actually remove the entire lump.”  He finished speaking and looked from husband to wife.

 

“We’ll leave you alone to discuss this.  We’d like to do it as soon as possible.  We know how anxious you both are and it’s best just to get this over and done with,” Dr. Allen said.  She and Dr. Anderson left the Gage’s alone in the office.

 

“Well,” Jen simply said, “this wasn’t be best case scenario that I had imagined.”  She looked on the verge of tears.

 

Johnny put his arms around his wife and held her.  “Come on now, Hon, it’ll be okay.  We’ll deal with this together.  We still don’t know anything for sure yet,” he told her. 

 

“I know.  You’re right,” she sniffled.  “Here you are telling me everything I told you last night,’ she laughed through her sniffles.

 

“So, which one do you want to do, Jen?”

 

They discussed both options and came to the conclusion that it would be best to do the excision biopsy.  Just remove the lump and have it gone.  Jen said she would feel better if the whole thing was removed and they’d informed the two doctors of their decision.  Dr. Anderson checked his schedule and said that he could do the procedure the next day.  The day before Thanksgiving.  Jen knew that they were moving this along so quickly because she was a member of the staff at Rampart and a colleague.

 

Because they would not be using general anesthesia, Jen would be treated as an outpatient for which she was extremely grateful.  Otherwise, she would end up spending Thanksgiving Day or part of it in the hospital and she did not want that.  Johnny called headquarters and put in for a vacation day, which was no problem as they had plenty of time to get a replacement for him.  There was no way that he would let Jen go through this alone.

 

Jennifer was more upset than she had let it on and Johnny knew that she had been trying to keep up a strong front in front of her colleagues.  He took her home and held her while she cried.  She knew that it was foolish to feel this way before they knew anything for certain and she didn’t know if she was extra sensitive because of the pregnancy hormones or if it was something else.  Either way, she was having a tough time dealing with the idea of this biopsy.

 

He fixed her lunch and then put her to bed and joined her.  He slowly and sweetly made love to his wife.  They spent the entire afternoon in bed afterwards, holding each closer and offering comfort and assurance.

 

It was Johnny who advised her to call her parents and let them know what was going on.  She hadn’t even told them about the baby yet.  She’d been putting that off because she didn’t know how they would react.  But Johnny was right.  It was time to lay all the cards on the table.

 

She called her mother and asked if she could come over.  She didn’t say that Johnny would be with her but she wanted, no she needed, him there and her dad would just have to deal with it.

 

They arrived after seven and Joanne was surprised to see Johnny come in with Jennifer but Jen was quick to diffuse the situation.

 

“Please don’t be mad.  I have a problem that I need to tell you about and I won’t do it without Johnny here with me,” she informed her parents.

 

Joanne quickly assured her daughter that it was fine and shot a look at Roy that told him he better keep his mouth shut.

 

Johnny took Jen’s hand and held it as she told her parents about the baby and about finding a suspicious lump in her breast and about the procedure that she needed to have done in the morning. 

 

Roy and Joanne were overcome with concern for their child and any ill thoughts about Johnny being there went quickly by the wayside.  Joanne had asked a lot of questions especially about how this would affect the baby and Jennifer answered most of them.  Sometimes Johnny or even Roy would offer what knowledge they had which was minimal in this area.  It was not an area of expertise for any of them.

 

It had been an exhausting day but the evening had proved to be therapeutic for all of them.  Roy had found that he could be in the same room as Johnny without hostility and he silently vowed that he would do his best to maintain the civility that they’d had tonight for Jennifer’s sake.  Joanne’s motherly concern took over and she was overjoyed that Jenny was with child but scared to death for her at the same time.  She managed to pry Johnny away from Jen so that she could offer her comfort as well.  Jennifer was more than happy that her parents had been able to put aside their feelings in order to deal with this much larger issue.  Somehow it didn’t seem important anymore that Johnny was so much older than Jen.  The sense of betrayal that Roy had felt seemed small in comparison to what his daughter would be going through.

 

Joanne was glad that Jenny had someone who loved her so very much to be by her side and to help her through this and she said as much to Roy that evening as they dressed for bed.

 

“You know, Roy, he really does love her,” she said.

 

“Hmmm,” came the reply.

 

“I’m actually glad that she has someone to help her get through this and yes, it may be nothing physically but emotionally, well that’s a different story.”

 

Roy didn’t say anything and Joanne hadn’t expected him to.

 

“Did you see the way he clung to her so protectively?  I had to pry him away just to get in a hug.  If the situation wasn’t so serious, I’d think it was romantic,” she laughed.

 

“I saw.  I have to admit that it appears that … that he loves her,” Roy admitted.

 

“Appears?  Roy Desoto, are you dense?  That man is in love with her!”

 

“I know, okay, I know but I’m still just not comfortable with it but I’m trying.  I can’t do more than that, Jo.”

 

She smiled and went over to hug her husband.  “I know you are, Roy, and I thank you for that. You are a good man, Mr. Desoto,” she said placing a kiss on his cheek.

 

“I know you probably don’t want to think about this but can you imagine what Johnny must be going through.  His first wife becomes pregnant and they find cancer which they can’t treat because she’s pregnant and won’t let them and now Jen finds out that she’s pregnant and could possibly be facing breast cancer herself.  You remember how devastated he was about Julia and now he’s facing a similar situation with Jenny.  I can’t help but feel sorry for him.”

 

“Believe it or not, Jo, that was one of the first things that came to my mind and as much as I’m concerned about Jennifer, there is a part of me that is worried about Johnny as well.  I don’t know if he’ll be able to handle it if that pathology report comes back as malignant.”  Roy shook his head sadly as he thought of his friend.

 

It occurred to him that he’d thought of the term friend and Johnny in the same context.  It didn’t surprise him.  He still had a ways to go but John Gage meant too much to him to be anything but a friend.  They’d saved each other’s lived numerous times and of course, Johnny had saved JC’s life. Yes, it would definitely take some time but Roy knew that eventually he’d be able to come to terms with what had happened this past summer.

 

Now, though, it was time to focus on Jenny and getting her through whatever lay in front of her.  And he knew that he would help Johnny get through this as well if need be.

 

 

Even though Jennifer had told her parents that it was not necessary for them to be there, Roy and Joanne had shown up at Rampart’s Outpatient Center anyway.  Jen’s brother, Chris, had wanted to come as well but he was scheduled to work and Jen assured him that it was not necessary.  She thanked him for wanting to be there but it was just a simple procedure, she’d told him.  The task of getting Cassie home for the Thanksgiving holiday fell to JC and he was happy to help.  It sure beat sitting around doing nothing.  

 

The procedure itself would not take long, they were told.  It was just nerve racking to sit there and wait your turn.  Thankfully the Outpatient Center was on the opposite side of the hospital from the ER.  The last thing Jen needed this morning was to be besieged with a lot of questions from co-workers.  She just wanted to go in and get this over with.

 

When they arrived, they completed the necessary registration papers and were told that Jen would be called shortly.  Johnny was surprised that Roy and Joanne had come but Jen wasn’t.  She knew they’d be there even though she’d told them it wasn’t necessary.  Johnny held his wife’s hand and the four of them made small talk to pass the time.  It wasn’t long before Jen was taken back to change into a gown and slippers.

 

A short time later, a nurse reappeared to tell Johnny that he could go back and sit with his wife while she waited for the doctor.   Johnny immediately jumped up.

 

“Johnny, tell her not to worry and that we’ll be here when she’s done,” Joanne asked him.

 

“I will, Jo.”

 

“And Johnny, tell her that we love her.  Very much,” Roy added.

 

“Will do, Roy.  I be back in a bit.”  Johnny would get to stay with Jen right up until they took her for the surgery and then he, too, would be relegated to the waiting room.

 

Roy looked at his wife.

 

“I guess we wait.”

 

“Pretty much all we can do right now, Roy.”

 

“I know.  I just don’t like waiting,” he replied.

 

“But there is something we can do later,” she advised him.  “Let’s go to the cafeteria and I’ll tell you what I have in mind,” she said smiling.

 

“I don’t like that look, Jo.  Something tells me that I’m going to be kept quite busy, aren’t I?”

 

 

 

 

When Roy and Joanne returned to the outpatient waiting area, they found Johnny sitting there.

 

“They take her back already,” Roy asked.

 

“Yes.  It pays to know people around here, doesn’t it Roy?” Johnny asked his old partner.

 

“Yeah, it does.  It certainly paid off for us over the years,” Roy laughed and Johnny smiled.  It was good to hear that sound, Johnny hadn’t heard it in a long time.

 

“Except for that time that we got stuck with that nurse. Remember that Roy?  You, Marco and me, we all ended up in Rampart at the same time.  You and Marco were roomies.”

 

“Yeah, she was worse than any drill sergeant I ever had,” Roy added.  “Marco was scared shitless that she was going to come back and try to give him a bath.  He was hiding under his covers.”

 

“Oh, like you weren’t,” Johnny teased.  The two men passed the time reminiscing as they often did about old times working together at 51s.

 

It wasn’t long before Dr. Anderson was there and Johnny introduced him to Roy and Joanne.  The doctor explained that everything had gone well.  He’d had to make an incision approximately 1 ˝ inches long in order to reach the lump but they’d been able to remove the entire growth. 

 

“It looks good, John but we’ll need to send it to Pathology for confirmation.”  The doctor knew how apprehensive he had been the day before and was quick to offer some reassurances.  “I’m fairly sure that it will come back as benign and you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

 

Johnny breathed a sigh of relief.  “That’s good news, Doc.  Thank you so much. ”

 

“Yeah, thanks Doc,” Roy added.

 

“How’s Jen? Can we see her now?”  Johnny was anxious to see his wife.

 

“Yes, you can go back but first a couple of instructions.  We closed the incision with sutures, which will have to be removed in 1 week.  Call my office on Friday and set up a time.  We should have the pathology report back by then and we’ll go over everything.”  The doctor looked at Johnny and smiled.  “I guess I don’t have to tell you about caring for sutures, now do I”

 

“No, you don’t.  I used to be paramedic but I’m surprised you knew that?” 

 

The doctor chuckled.  “Actually, I didn’t,” he confessed.  “You wife told me that when I was going over everything with her which I had to do even though she’s a fellow physician and knows the routine by heart.”  The doctor was thoughtful for a minute.  “She said I didn’t have to worry about anything because you’d be like a mother hen.”

 

Johnny’s mouth dropped.  “I, uh, I…”

 

Roy slapped Johnny on the back.  “Looks like she knows you pretty well, Junior.”  He’d used the familiar nickname without even thinking.

 

“One more thing.  I want her to take it easy.  No heavy lifting and such.”

 

“Don’t worry, we won’t let her,” Joanne told him.  This is exactly what she had told Roy earlier.

 

“The incision will be sore and I’ve given her a prescription just in case but I think you can get by with over the counter pain reliever if necessary.”  The doctor had concluded his spiel and indicated that they could see her now.

 

“Thanks, Doc.  Thanks a lot,” Johnny said shaking Dr. Anderson’s hand before the three of them left to join Jen in the recovery room.  The fact that they were letting all three of them back there was another little courtesy.

 

Jennifer was sitting comfortably in a reclining chair and smiled when she saw her entourage appear.

 

“Hey, Sweetheart, how are you?” Johnny asked, the concern evident on his face.

 

“I’m fine now that you are all here,” she answered truthfully.  Johnny took her hand and leaned over to kiss his wife as he smoothed her hair back with his other hand.

 

“Are you sore?” he asked.

 

“Not right now but I’m sure once this local wears off it’ll be a different story.”

 

Joanne came to her daughter’s side and kissed her as well.  “Do you need anything, Sweetie?”

 

“Yes,” Jen said, “to go home.”  They all laughed.

 

“Spoken like a true Desoto,” Roy teased.

 

“Or a Gage,” Joanne added.  “This hospital had a hell of time trying to keep you two here when it was required.”

 

“When she’s right, she’s right.  Right Roy?”  Johnny chimed in.

 

“She’s always right,” Roy replied dryly but with a smile in his eyes as Joanne playfully smacked him.

 

As soon as the discharge papers were signed, Johnny was able to take his wife home.  Cassie would be home that evening thanks to JC and he wanted to make sure that Jen was all settled and comfortable.  He was glad that he would be able to tell Cass that the doctor felt everything was okay.  He knew that they would still be anxious about the pathology report but it was a comfort knowing how the doctor felt.  This was after all his area of expertise.

 

 

 

 

Johnny rolled over in bed and looked at his wife.  It was Thanksgiving morning and this year he had a lot to be thankful for.  Jen was sleeping peacefully and Johnny was content to just lay next to her and watch her sleep.  She was at the top of his list of things he was thankful for and though they hadn’t received official confirmation, Johnny just knew that she was going to be okay.

 

And he was going to be a father again after all these years.  And his daughter was home safe and sound and Johnny had missed her terribly these past few months.  Cassie absolutely loved college and dormitory life. Johnny had teased her last night saying that she was just glad to be out from under his thumb.  She had laughed and told him that he was silly but he knew that it was partially true. 

 

She had changed and matured quite a bit since September.  College will do that to you, he thought as he looked back at his wife.  He smiled as he remembered how upset she’d been last night when she realized that she had forgotten to get a turkey.

 

“Oh, Johnny, how are we going to be able to have Thanksgiving without a turkey,” she cried.

 

“It’s okay, Jen, it’s okay,” he assured her.  “We don’t need a turkey to have Thanksgiving.  We’ll just have something else.  It’ll be okay.”

 

“But I wanted it to be so special because it’s our first one together.” Jen was very upset and couldn’t believe that she could have forgotten this but with everything that was going on, it was more than understandable.

 

“Sweetheart, it is special. We have each other and Cassie and this little one,” he placed his hand on her belly which hadn’t even begun to swell yet.  “And the doctor says everything is going to be okay.  We’ve got our Thanksgiving right there, Jen. I don’t’ need a turkey to know what I’m thankful for,” he told her sweetly making her cry again.

 

Sounds from the kitchen drifted upstairs and Johnny realized that Cassie must be up so he quietly rolled off the bed and tiptoed from the room so that he wouldn’t wake Jen.  He had thrown on a tee shirt and a pair of jeans and was yawning as he entered the kitchen.  He stopped short at the sight of Joanne.

 

“Jo, what are you doing here?”  To say he was surprised was an understatement.

 

“I’m fixing Thanksgiving dinner for my daughter and her family,” she replied nonchalantly as if it was no big deal.

 

“But.. but..” he sputtered.

 

“But what, Johnny?”

 

“But I was going to do that, Jo.  I mean, not a turkey and all that stuff you normally do but I was going to have a nice meal,” he said.  He didn’t want Roy and Joanne thinking that he couldn’t take care of things.

 

“Well, now you don’t have to,” she said nicely before turning serious.  “We always have Thanksgiving together, Johnny.  Our whole family.  You and Cass have always been a part of that family, Johnny, now it’s just official.  We almost ruined that this year.  Please let us do this for you.”  Her eyes were bright with tears.

 

“Of course, Jo, of course.  Jen will be so happy.”  He always knew Roy’s wife was a special lady.  She had to be to put up with him and Roy through the years, he thought and here she was showing him again just how special she was.

 

“Chris and Cathy and the kids will be here about two but JC has to work, unfortunately. “  Joanne knew all too well that firefighter’s had to work holidays, it came with the territory.  “I let Roy sleep in this morning.  I had him running all over the place last night trying to get a bigger turkey.  The one I had wasn’t big enough for all of us.  Poor man,” she laughed and Johnny did as well.

 

“What can I do to help, Jo?”

 

“Just get out of the kitchen, John,” she smiled at him when she said it.

 

“Can I at least get a cup of coffee first,” he asked sheepishly.

 

“Only if you’re quick about,” she teased.

 

Joanne had baked her pies the night before but she really wanted to get the turkey in the oven so they wouldn’t have to wait all day to eat.

 

Jennifer was so touched when she found out what her mother and father had done to include them in their Thanksgiving and she wanted to help Jo in the kitchen but no one would let her. She’d argued about it but it didn’t do any good.  They were adamant that she was not to lift a finger.  Roy and Johnny watched football in the living room while Joanne and Cassie were busy in the kitchen and Jen accepted that she could only sit and watch them but she enjoyed the time she spent with her mother and her stepdaughter. 

 

Cassie told them about college and her classes and a new guy that she had a crush on.  She and JC had only had their one ‘official’ date.  For as much as they had been looking forward to it, and despite having a good time, something had been missing and they both knew it.  They had both agreed that it was better if they just remained good friends. 

 

Joanne told them that Roy was finally looking into the paramedic teaching position to see if it was still available.  He wouldn’t even consider it before now because it had been Johnny’s idea but she kept that to herself.  And she was quite serious when she told Cassie that since she was now technically her granddaughter that Cass was more than welcome to call her Nana like the other grandchildren did.

 

Cassie was extremely moved but she’d called her Aunt Jo for so many years that it would be hard to change and Joanne understood.

 

Jen thought on that for minute and laughed.  Roy and Johnny had just come into the kitchen to grab another beer and asked what was so funny.

 

“It’s just that Cassie calls you Aunt and Uncle,” she said looking at her parents, “and this baby,” she continued, rubbing her stomach and smiling, “will be calling you Nana and Pop.  We’re bound to confuse more than a few people not to mention this little guy.”

 

“Well,” Joanne said smiling, “at least it’s all in the family.”

 

They all had a chuckle over that but as Roy looked at Johnny, he knew that there was some unfinished business that he had to take care.

 

Everything was almost ready by the time Chris and Cathy arrived with the kids and the Gage and Desoto families soon shared another Thanksgiving meal together.  Joanne couldn’t help but smile as she watched the chaos that surrounded the dinner table, her only regret being that JC was missing and when her eyes came upon Roy, he was looking at her and smiling too.  They all had a lot to be thankful for this year.

 

 

The following Wednesday found Johnny and Jen in Dr. Anderson’s office.  He’d removed the stitches and then had Johnny join them in the office.

 

“Let’s great right to the point,” he said.  “Just as I thought, it was benign.”

 

Johnny gathered Jennifer into hug as the doctor explained the full medical lowdown on what was in the report.  He was just so glad that Jennifer didn’t have to go through anything else.  But if she had, he would have been by her side through it all. 

 

They called Roy and Joanne right away and they were thrilled with the news.  They would call Cassie that evening when she wouldn’t be in class and let her know as well.  And when Jen called Dr. Allen, she wasn’t surprised to find that she already knew.

 

“I do want to get you in here for your first obstetrics visit though, and you need to start taking pre-natal vitamins.”

 

Jen smiled thinking that she could live with these kind of doctor appointments and scheduled one for later that week.  Once she’d had time to think about it, she had determined that based on her last period, her baby would arrive in late July.

 

Johnny had taken her out to dinner to celebrate that evening and Jen was teasing him about names for the baby and picking some really off the wall names that she wanted to use and all of them were boy’s names.

 

“You haven’t come up with anything for a girl yet,” he teased her with one eyebrow raised.

 

“Not really,” she said seriously.  “What do you want it to be Johnny,” she asked.

 

That was easy for him.  “Healthy,” he stated without hesitation.  “Nothing else matters.”

 

“I know you’re right,” she said honestly, “but I would really like to have a boy.”

 

“A boy, huh?  One that looks just like his father,” he joked and she laughed. 

 

“I don’t know if the world can handle that, Johnny,” she teased him.  “But I think it would be nice seeing as how we already have a daughter.”

 

She didn’t know how much that statement meant to him.  He knew that Jen and Cassie had always been close but Cassie was eighteen years old and for Jen to feel that way about her brought tears to his eyes.  He way a lucky man indeed.

 

It had been four months since Jen’s cancer scare and Roy had still not found the courage to set things right with Johnny.  Oh, they were getting along just fine when they had to but Roy had missed his friend.  The guys from 51s still got together and went out but Johnny usually made the excuse that something was going on at home or Jen needed him for something.  Roy knew it was because Johnny was still uncomfortable around him and to be honest, he was still uncomfortable around John.  He knew it was time to bridge that gap or mend the fence, as Joanne liked to say. 

 

He wasn’t sure exactly what to say.  There was so much that had already been said and as much as you may want, you can’t take back something once you’ve said it.  He’d accused Johnny of some awful things.  True, it had been in anger but even when he’d said those things, he knew they weren’t true.  The truth of the matter was that John Gage was a decent guy and he had been the best friend that Roy Desoto had ever had.  He just hoped that Johnny would be just as willing to try to fix their friendship.  He hoped it wasn’t too late for that. 

 

Roy couldn’t stop the buzzing in his ear.  He didn’t know where the noise was coming but he knew he wanted it to stop.  It didn’t.  He mind cleared and he realized it was the phone ringing.  Jesus, he thought looking at the bedside clock, who the hell is calling at 3:00 am.

 

“Hello,” he said sleepily.

 

“Dad, its Jen.”

 

“Jen, honey, is everything okay.  Are you okay?”  Roy came instantly awake.

 

“I’m fine Dad,” she was quick to reassure him and then, “it’s Chris.  They just brought him in.  Second degree burns and smoke inhalation.”

 

“How bad?”  He glanced at his wife.

 

Joanne was now fully awake as well.  She dreaded phone calls in the middle of the night.  They never brought good news.

 

“He’s still being diagnosed.  He’s got a sore throat and his voice is pretty hoarse.  We’ll know more when they’re done.  We’ve got him on IV’s to replenish his fluids.”

 

“Is that it?” Roy felt that she was holding something back.

 

“He’s already exhibiting shortness of breath and I don’t like the looks of the mucus that he’s coughing up, “ Jen said honestly.  “But we’ve got him on O2 and Dr. Benton doesn’t think they’ll have to intubate.” At least I hope not, she thought.  “We’ll most likely send him up for a chest xray.

 

“We’ll be right there.  Should we call Cathy?”

 

“It’s pretty chaotic in here right now Dad, I’ve got to go. But yeah, she’d want to know.”  There had been a huge apartment fire and people were being brought in left and right.  It had been blazing for over two hours now and Jen had been shocked when Chris was brought in.  She hated to call her parents in the middle of the night but she knew they would want to know so she took a few minutes to do so.

 

She also knew that her husband was more than likely at the same fire that her brother had just come from and she prayed for his safety.

 

“Dr. J. we need you in three right away,” someone called to her and she went running pushing all other thoughts out of head to focus on her job.

 

Roy quickly explained to Joanne what he knew as he rushed to dress.  Joanne immediately sprung into action.  She’d been down this road before many times.  They hated to call Cathy at this hour but felt that she needed to know.  She told them that she’d find someone to watch the kids and would be there as soon as she could.  Joanne offered to come over and stay until she could find a sitter and Cathy readily accepted the offer to go to the hospital with Roy.

 

On the way over to Cathy’s, they had the radio on and heard the reports on the four-alarm apartment fire that had broken out west of Carson at 1:30 am.

 

“Residents are being treated at area hospitals.  Fire Department spokesman, Michael Stoker, has confirmed that three fire fighters have suffered injuries and are being treated at this time.  We’ll bring you more information as it becomes available.”

 

Roy and Joanne both knew who one of those men were. 

 

“You know Johnny’s on the same shift as Chris,” Roy stated knowing that Joanne was well aware that the two were both on B shift.

 

“I’m sure he’s fine, Roy,” Joanne said as Roy dropped her off at Cathy’s. Joanne quickly ran in as Cathy came out.

 

Roy wasted no time in getting to Rampart and when they arrived, the place was a zoo.  There were people and reporters everywhere.  Roy pushed Cathy along through the crowds to the reception desk and they immediately asked about Chris and were told that they could see him for a few minutes before he was sent to Xray.

 

Roy took Cathy’s hand as they entered the room.  This was the first time Chris had been injured in the line of duty and he wasn’t sure how she was going to react but she was every bit the seasoned firefighters wife.  They didn’t stay long but Chris managed to tell them in his raspy voice that he’d been on second floor in the hallway.  Someone was down and Chris rushed to their aide.

 

“He wasn’t moving, Dad.  I know I should’ve grabbed him and ran but he wasn’t moving.  I ripped off my glove to feel for a pulse and that’s when the building flashed.  Knocked my mask and helmet off.  The smoke was so thick.  I knew there were guys behind me but I couldn’t see them.  I couldn’t find my mask.  I don’t know how long it was but someone grabbed me and got me the hell out of there,” he finished.

 

“Jesus, Chris, remind me to thank them later,” Roy told his son as his eyes took in the 2nd degree burns on his hand.

 

“It was Johnny, Dad.  When I got outside, it was Johnny that had me.”

 

Roy found Jen and told her what Chris had told them and she was very glad that her husband had been there when Chris needed him but she was still worried about him.  There had been reports of two other injured firemen that were taken to Holy Cross Hospital but at least she knew now that he had been seen not long ago and for that she was grateful. 

 

Chris was being admitted to the hospital and would probably be kept for a day at least until his breathing improved.  Joanne came to the hospital as soon as Cathy’s mother arrived to watch the kids and Roy filled her in on what had happened.

 

“Looks like John Gage saved another one of our sons,” she thankfully said to Roy.  She hated to think what could have happened to her son.  “Has anyone heard from Johnny?  I hope he’s okay.”

 

“No, not yet.”  Jen had come up behind them and heard her mother’s question.  Her voice was calm but her eyes betrayed her worry.

 

“The clean up time on these kind of fires, apartment fires, is unbelievable and this was big one,” Roy said to reassure his daughter that no news was good news.  “They could be out for awhile on this one.”

 

In fact, there had been 43 families that were now homeless as a result.  The Red Cross was offering food, clothing and shelter to those that were displaced by this tragic fire.  There were two fatalities and a number of injuries that ranged from minor to critical. When firefighters arrived at The Tower Apartments, the intense blaze was almost immediately upgraded to two alarms. By 2:00, the blaze was up to four alarms, as several ladder trucks and engine companies battled the flames.  The cause of the fire was not yet known but the sprinkler system was not working allowing it to spread rapidly.

 

It was after five am before John Gage was able to get to a phone and contact his wife to let her know that he was okay and to check up on Chris Desoto.  He was glad to hear that he was resting comfortably and told Jen he would stop by to see her and Chris when he got off duty.

 

Roy and Joanne stopped in to tell Jen that they were leaving.  Chris was going to be fine and Cathy was with him so there was no need to stay.  But they’d be back later to see him again and Jen was more than happy to tell them that she had spoken with Johnny and he was fine.  Both Roy and Joanne were visibly relieved by the news and Roy knew that he would make time to have that talk with Johnny before the day was out.  And he had to thank him for taking care of his boy.

 

 

 

It was after seven when Roy dropped by Johnny’s house.  He knew that both he and Jen had been worked all night and both of them had to be exhausted so he waited until the evening so that they could get some sleep.

 

Jen answered her father’s knock at the door.

 

“Dad, what’re you doing here?  It’s not Chris, is it?”  Jen asked with a shaky voice.

 

“No, Jen, nothing like that.  Chris is fine.  They should be releasing him tomorrow morning.”

 

“Oh, thank god, you had me worried there for a minute,” she said with relief.  “Well, come on in.  What’s up?” She stepped aside to allow her father access to the house. 

 

“Uh, actually I came here to see Johnny.  Is he around?”  Roy was looking around but didn’t see any signs of his friend.

 

“As a matter of fact, he’s out back, on the deck.  Why don’t you go on out and I’ll get you a beer.  Okay?”

 

“Sounds good. Thanks.”

 

She knew that eventually the two men would have to discuss what happened last summer and she was glad that they were finally going to do so.

 

Roy opened the slider and stepped out onto the deck.  Johnny had been leaning on the railing and turned around expecting to see his wife.

 

“Hey John,” Roy said softly.

 

“Hey Roy, How’s Chris doing?”

 

“Fine, thanks to you.  I wanted to come by and thank you in person, Johnny,” Roy began but John held up his hand.

 

“Roy, you don’t have to thank me.  I’d have helped out any one of our brothers, you know?”

 

“I know, it’s just that…”  He grew quiet and Jen brought him his beer and she sensed that they needed this time alone.

 

“I’ll be upstairs,” she told the two men as she went back inside.  Johnny gave her a smile and Roy nodded knowing that his daughter knew exactly what he was here to do.

 

“Listen, John.  I’m sorry about everything.  More sorry than you’ll ever know.”  Johnny looked like he was going to interrupt again and this time Roy held up his hand.  “Please let me finish.  I know that it’s no excuse for how I acted last year but I was hurt.  Hurt, shocked, you name it and I felt it.  Never in a million years would I have dreamed that, that, you and Jenny…” His voice trailed off before picking up again.

 

“Anyway, I said some things in anger that I knew weren’t true.  I was trying to hurt you because I felt betrayed.  Why, I don’t know now but I felt that way for a long time.”  Roy was struggling to keep his emotions in check.   “I’m terribly sorry, John.  You didn’t deserve that.  I know that you would never purposely do anything to hurt my family or me.  I knew that then and I know it now.  You’ve always been there for us.  Seems like anytime a Desoto is in trouble, John Gage is around to help out.  I miss you, Johnny.  I miss my best friend.”

 

Johnny knew how hard this had been for Roy.  He grinned at him.  He wanted to have his friend back as well but he needed to say some things too.

 

“I understood, Roy.  I really did.  Hell, I probably would have felt the same way myself.  In fact, I know I would.  But you’ve gotta believe me that I never took advantage of Jen, never and I tried to tell myself that I didn’t love her.  I didn’t want to hurt you, Roy.  I never wanted that.  But this thing that Jen and I have, well, it was just meant to be.  I couldn’t not love her.”

 

Roy knew exactly how that was because he and Joanne had shared a love that was just as intense.  And he couldn’t imagine having gone through life without her.

 

“I believe you, Junior.  And I can’t thank you enough for getting Chris out of that fire.”  Roy shook his head knowing full well how bad a situation like that could be.

 

“When that building flashed, Roy, and I knew we had guys in there, man,” he said running his fingers through his hair.  “I just grabbed the closest men I could find that weren’t on the lines and we went to get them out.  Man, when I came down that hallway and saw Desoto on the back of that coat, Roy, I was scared to death.  I mean, I would’ve gotten any of our guys out, don’t get me wrong but I wouldn’t have been as scared as I was, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I know all too well.  You scared the shit out of me too many times for me not to know, Johnny.”

 

“Like you didn’t have your fair share, huh Pally?” Johnny asked and they both laughed.  It felt good to be able to share some laughs with his friend again.  It had been too long and neither wanted to let go of the feeling as they sat on the deck for a long time sharing stories and just enjoying being together.

 

 

It was mid July and Cassie was home from college for the summer.  Jennifer was very pregnant by then and only had about two more weeks to go.  Johnny had been working hard to convert the guest room into a nursery and he when he’d gotten off duty that morning, he had chosen to stay up and finish the room.  He was exhausted by early evening and wanted nothing more than to go to bed but Cassie was out and Johnny had never liked to go to sleep until he knew that she was home safely.

 

Jennifer had assured him that she was not in the least tired and she would wait up for stepdaughter to come in.  It was around midnight when Cassie had returned home and Jen sat in the kitchen listening to Cassie rant about her date which had not gone well at all.  She smiled as she thought about just how much Cassie was like her dad and she finally told Cassie that she was turning in for the night.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Cass, don’t stay up too late,” she said as she stood up.  She was hit by a pain so hard that she immediately sat back down.

 

“Jen? Are you okay?”  Cassie immediately became concerned as she watched Jen trying to breathe through the pain.

 

“Yes, yes.  I’m okay.  Whew!  That came out of nowhere,” she said when it started to subside.  She rubbed her hands over her belly and looked at her watch.  She had just been to the doctor two days ago and had not been dilated at all. 

 

“Should I wake Dad?”  Cassie wasn’t at all sure of what to do.

 

“No, he’s had a hard day and it’s been almost ten minutes.  I haven’t had another one yet and first babies can take awhile,” Jen assured her.  “But I think I will go lay down on the sofa.”

 

When she stood again, she was gripped with another pain and Cassie was stunned when water gushed from Jen’s nightgown.

 

“Okay, Cass, now, you might want to go wake your dad.”  She sat back down on the chair and called out to Cassie as she ran for the steps.  “Bring some towels back with you!” And as she looked at the puddle that had formed on the floor she couldn’t help but think that she’d just scrubbed the floor that morning.

 

Cassie burst into Johnny’s room waking him from a dead sleep.

 

“Dad! Dad!  It’s Jen.  Her water broke and she’s having contractions,” Cassie yelled to her father as she came through the door like a tornado.

 

Johnny dressed quickly and found Jennifer still in the kitchen breathing through another contraction and timing it with her watch.

 

“How far apart?” he asked immediately.

 

“Was ten minutes but now they’re five,” she told him “and my water broke.”  She nodded at the puddle on the floor with her head.

 

“Let me call Dr. Allen to let her know I’m taking you in and then we’ll go, okay Sweetie.  How are you doing?  Are the contractions real bad?” 

 

She nodded and Johnny sprang into action as he quickly made the call to the doctor’s.  Once that was done, he gathered up his wife and helped her to the car.  Cassie ran behind them with Jen’s bag and within fifteen minutes, the three were off to the hospital.

 

 

Cassie sat in the waiting room by herself.  She thought about calling her aunt and uncle but it was so late and she didn’t want to wake them until she knew anything for sure.  But she sure hated waiting alone.  She got a soda and a pack of crackers from the vending machine and sat down with a magazine.  If Jen was right, she could be here for awhile.  There weren’t too many other people around so Cassie stretched out on the sofa.  She was asleep in no time.

 

“Cass, Cass, come on wake up,” Johnny called softly to his daughter as he rubbed her shoulder.

 

“Dad!  How’s Jen?  What time is it?  I can’t believe I fell asleep.” She was rubbing her eyes with her hands.

 

“Jen’s fine and so is your brother,” Johnny said smiling happily. 

 

“A brother?  Oh, Dad, that’s great!  I’m so happy for you!”

 

“I’m going to call Uncle Roy.  Do you want to come back and see him?” he asked and Cassie readily agreed.  It was four thirty in the morning and Cassie thought that Jen had never looked happier than she did as she held her new son.

 

“Cass, come here and see your brother,” Jen called out upon seeing her.  “Isn’t he beautiful?”  The baby had the Gage dark hair but his coloring was lighter and Cassie knew that Jen was right.  “Oh, my god, he’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she gushed.

 

The phone ringing next to the bed awoke Roy and Joanne and Joanne’s thoughts went immediately to JC who she knew was on duty.  She would always dread these late night calls and she held her breath as Roy answered the phone but let it out as she saw him smile and look at her.  And she knew it was Johnny.  Not all calls in the middle of the night brought bad news, she thought.

 

Early the next day, the whole family was crowded into Jen’s hospital room and everyone was taking their turn to hold the baby.  Jen knew that there would be people coming by all day but she didn’t mind.  This was the greatest day of her life.  Her son had been born and he was healthy and yes, he did look like his father but there was a little of her in there too.

 

“So,” Joanne asked, “ you’ve kept us in the dark all this time.  Now, what is his name?”

 

Jennifer nodded to her husband and he looked at his friend as he said, “Jackson.  Jackson Roy Gage.”

 

 

The End!

 

 

 

 

 

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