P J Bedingfield:

"You have reached the home of Johnny Gage( sirens in
background) I am 1. Chasing fires 

       2. Chasing women
3. Over at my partners helping with his Honey Do list
4. In Rampart due to "another" accident.
At the siren please leave a message.
If you are a bill collector, forget the message and
just hang up.
Thanks for callin and have a great day!
 

Johnny: Ummm, I'm one of three places. 1. At Roy's 2.
Out on a date 3. At Rampart as a patient (long pause)
again. Leave a message. I'll get back at ya some day.

Roy: I'm 1. with the family on an outing or 2.
Rescuing my partner or 3. Visiting my partner at
Rampart (looooong pause) again. Leave a message at teh
beep.

Chet: Yeah, it's a machine. Obviously I'm not here.
Hehehe Leave a message at the beep. If you're a chick
looking for a hot date, I'll call ya back.

Marco: Ola? How's this thing work? Oh well, leave a
message. Hang on, the beep is co.....

Cap: Captain Stanley here. The Admiral and I are gone.
Leave a message, unless it's one of you twits I work
with at 51.

Wanda:

Johnny...."Uh, this is John Gage, uh, I'm not here now, but uh,

leave your name and number after the tone,

and you WILL get called back, uh, especially if you're a girl!"

Roy...."You've reached the DeSoto's, but we're not in now,

please leave a message at the tone."

Chet...."This is Chet, and I'm out on one of my many excursions,

so after the beep, talk to this machine and I'll get back with ya."

Marco....."Marco here, Hola!  I'm not available now, so leave a message,

 and if you're a lady, your number and I'll talk to ya later."

Mike...."Hi, this is Mike, and I'm busy now, so after the tone, you know what to do."

Hank....."Stanley residence, we're out now, so leave a message

 and one of us will get back with you later."

Pam:

Chet...Hello?  (Pause while he gives time for the caller to respond)  

 Hello?  (Pause)  You have to speak up.  I can't hear you. 

(Pause)....Psyche!  I'm not here right now so leave me a message. (Cackling laughter in the background)

Johnny...This is John.  I'm not here to take your call but leave me a message and I'll call you back.

Roy...(His son's voice)  This is the DeSoto residence.  We're not home right now so please leave us a message.

Liz:

Johnny: This is John Gage. It's your dime so please leave a message at the beep

Roy: This is the Desoto residence. Myself or my wife and kids

(you hear a loud scream coming from Jennifer or Chris)

may not be home. please leave..... (DAAAAADDD, Chris hit me!!!) at the beep.

Captain Stanley: The Stanley residence, please leave a message at the beep or whatever.

Mike Stoker: Stoker residence. We're not home at this time.

Just leave a message and we'll try to call you back.

Marco: Hey this is Marco. Me and mamma are not home at this time.

 But leave a message at the beeeeeeeep.

Chet: Hey this is Chet Kelly. Please leave name and number and I will call you right back.

Linda2:

Chris Desoto at age 15:   Hello, this is the refrigerator. 

 The answering machine is on vacation, recovering from the nervous
breakdown it had because of all the hang-ups it got.
If you would like to leave your name and number you may do so. 

 Let's see I have paper and...a pen!  I need to get a pen...wait....wait....