Baptized by Fire   -  Part 7

Baptized By Fire

Chapter Two

Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be peace when you are done.

Lay your weary head to rest.

Don’t you cry no more.

          --Kerry Livgren

Standing silent, laughing

Breathing steam.

Gazing down into a freezing stream.

I saw the face of a child.

--Dan Fogelberg

“You may kiss the bride…” 

Justin leaned in to seal the deal and was nearly knocked off balance as Camarin leapt happily into his arms, her simple white dress wrapping itself around her legs.

Justin laughed heartily as he swung his new wife around in a complete circle before releasing her onto the glistening sand beneath them.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”  Camarin smiled.

The pastor smiled as he motioned for the couple to turn and face their guests, who stood casually around them.  “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…Mr. and Mrs. Justin Quinn!”

Justin and Camarin beamed happily as applause temporarily drowned out the droning surf.

The couple had decided on a simple wedding ceremony on the beach, since the location held special significance for both of them.  It was here that the very first sparks of their relationship began to ignite as Justin introduced his future bride to the magic and beauty of the Pacific coastline that he loved.  And a soft blanket on the sand was where that relationship was first consummated.  Since then, there had been numerous days spent soaking up the sun as well as plentiful moonlight walks along the strand with balmy waves lapping at their feet and briny mist filling their lungs.

Breathing a contented sigh at the colorful sunset over the water and thinking God could not have given them a better wedding present, Justin took Camarin’s hand and led her over to the tented area where the celebration would continue into the night.

“You two look stunning.”  Hannah smiled as she offered her brother and his wife a hug. 

It was true.  Although dressed simply in a white shirt and white pants, the outfit contrasted sharply with Justin’s tanned skin.  And Camarin looked equally elegant in her white gauzy dress.  The carefree couple chose to go barefoot, a throwback to the first time Camarin had felt the sand between her toes.  And the only color they sported besides their bronzed skin was found in the flowered leis they both wore around their necks.

“Thanks, Sis.”  Justin smiled back.  “You’re looking rather nice yourself.”  He eyed his sister appreciatively before taking in the festive atmosphere, grateful to have friends and family to help pull everything together.  Johnny had convinced the couple to honeymoon in Hawaii, so Joanne had suggested a tropical theme for the reception to get them into the mood.  Twinkling lights sparkled beneath tent awnings and the air was abreeze with the soft scent of orchid and lotus flowers intermingled with whatever mouthwatering foods Marco Lopez and his mother were preparing.  Justin and Camarin had left the menu up to them, knowing they would put together something appropriate, and one look in that direction at the whole pig roasting on a spit, told them they had definitely risen to the occasion.

“Congratulations, man!”  Johnny grabbed Justin’s hand for a hearty handshake.  “How does it feel?”

“It feels great.”  Justin said simply, as he leaned down for another kiss before leading his bride through a path formed by their guests on either side who pelted them softly with dried flower petals.

 At the end of the line stood Todd Andrews with a very large smile on his face.  He shook Justin’s hand vigorously before pulling him in for a brief, but meaningful hug.  “Congratulations.  It’s about time…”

“Thanks, Todd.”  Justin smiled.

Todd repeated the gesture with Camarin, who he also graced with a kiss.

“Hey, watch it!”  Justin warned his boss and friend playfully.  “She’s mine.”

Laughs ensued and then Justin and Camarin made their way over to a couple who stood slightly apart from the rest of the group.

“You look so handsome...”  With tears in her eyes, Kathleen Quinn pulled her son in close and held on with breath stealing ardor.  Then, she hugged her new daughter-in-law as congratulatory words were offered.

Justin stepped over until he stood in front of his father and accepted the handshake he offered.  He had been delightfully surprised when his parents had returned their invitation with an acceptance, and he was genuinely glad they were here, even though he could only imagine what had to be going through their minds at the somewhat…unconventional…ceremony.  “Thanks for coming, Dad.  It means a lot.”

In that moment, Liam’s eyes filled up with tears and he pulled his much-taller son into a powerful and unexpected hug which surprised even him.  Holding on fast, he uttered words that brought a lump to Justin’s throat and moisture to his eyes.  “I’m proud of you, son.”

It was the truth.  And Liam found it felt good saying it.  He had taken some time to reflect since Justin and Camarin’s visit and had decided he wanted to get to know his children better.  So, he and Kathleen had flown to Los Angeles a week ago, and had been staying with Johnny and Hannah at the ranch.  During that time, they had been able to get to know their son-in-law better as well as rejoice in the double blessing of their three month old grandchildren. 

They had also visited Justin and Camarin in Long Beach and although they were a little skeptical about the type of business they were running, they were proud to see their son so obviously successful.

A trip to Rampart to see Justin’s office there also proved to be an eye-opener with Liam realizing how much Justin loved his job as a physical therapist and how good at it he apparently was.  And ultimately both Liam and Kathleen were thrilled at the circle of supportive family and friends their children had out here, and were even finding themselves getting used to the slightly more laid-back lifestyle.

Justin returned the hug wholeheartedly, as if he were trying to leech years and years of parental pride and acceptance from this one encounter.  “Thanks, Dad.  That means a lot.”

When the two parted, Liam pointed down at Justin’s sandy feet.  “Remind me to float you some cash…couldn’t even afford a pair of shoes for your own wedding…”

Kathleen rolled her eyes and scolded her husband.  “Liam!  For the love of…”

But, Liam cut off the reprimand with a hearty laugh.  “I’m kidding!”  He pointed at his son.  “He knows I’m kidding.”  Then, he looked at Justin.  “You know, right?”

“Yes, Dad…”  Justin assured, chuckling and shaking his head, thankful that some things never change.

Any further interaction was interrupted by a loud clanging bell which silenced the flute player in the corner.  The din of the bell was followed by an announcement.

“May I have your attention, please!”  The D.J. raised his voice to further quiet the still rumbling crowd.  “Dinner will be served in about an hour.  Until then, you may enjoy the appetizers on the long tables along the back of the tent.  The bar is open…”  He pointed toward a tiki bar about ten yards away being manned by a man in a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt who was currently juggling glasses.  “And of course there will be dancing all night long.”

With that announcement, a band began playing a reggae tune and Justin smiled at Camarin as he held out his hand.  “Shall we, Mrs. Quinn?”

Accepting his hand and feeling a shiver of excitement course down her spine, Camarin smiled back.  “We shall!”

The newlyweds were soon joined on the dance floor by several other couples following suit.  The dancing continued until the D.J. once again called everyone to attention for the garter toss.

Justin pulled out a chair for Camarin to sit on while a swanky melody filled the air.  He gazed seductively at his wife with a look that was clearly meant to indicate what awaited her later tonight.  Then, he started at her calf and ran his large hands gently up her sleek skin until they reached her thigh, where he allowed them to linger as he lit gentle smooches along the same path.  Camarin’s entire being stirred.  Finally retrieving the desired object, Justin leaned in for a kiss on the lips before standing up holding the garter triumphantly in the air.  When the D.J. began inviting all of the single men to come up, Justin halted him.  “Wait…wait…that’s not necessary…”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the groom has other plans for the garter…”  The D.J. played along.

“That’s right.”  Justin twirled the garter around his finger playfully as he scanned the crowd.  Finally locating his mark, he walked right up to Todd and stuffed the prize into his lapel pocket.  “There you go, boss.  Now, put it to good use.”

“Justin…”  Todd smiled and shook his head, his face turning a nice shade of red, knowing his date was enjoying every minute of this.

A few seconds later, Camarin came walking over with her bouquet, tossing it into Karen Wilder’s lap.

Justin stood back with his hands on his hips, looking at Todd and indicating the garter.  “I think you know what to do with that…”

The crowd was chanting now, and between that and Karen’s playful cajoling, Todd knew he was trapped with no way out.  He followed his date out onto the dance floor, speaking an aside to Justin on the way.  “You just wait…”

But Justin only laughed at the implied threat and pulled Camarin in for another kiss.

***

“Aloha, you two!”  Hannah called gleefully after the newly married couple as they got into the limo that would take them to the hotel where they would spend the night before flying to Oahu in the morning.

Before the door could be closed, a tiny body pushed its way past the well-wishing grown-ups and jumped up into the back seat.

“Rose, honey…you need to stay with Uncle Johnny and Aunt Hannah…”  Camarin reminded the young child, even as she wrapped her arms tightly around her and kissed the top of her head.  “We talked about this…we’ll be back in a week.”

Rose rolled her eyes.  “Don’t worry, mama.  Kaya told me all about honeymoons.  I know you and Justin wanna be alone together…”

“Well, then what is it, munchkin?”  Justin asked, smoothing her hair.  “Just wanted to give mama a hug before we leave?”  He wondered if the girls had ever been away from Camarin for this long and he felt a twinge of sadness.

“Yeah, but…there’s something I wanted to ask you.”  Rose looked up into Justin’s eyes, then quickly looked away, as if she were nervous about something.

“Ask me?”  Justin wondered what question the small girl could have come up with.

“Yeah, well…”  Rose continued to divert her gaze.  “I was wondering…since you and mama are married now…does that mean…well, can Kaya and me…does that mean you’re our papa now?”

Camarin smiled tearfully at Justin as the two exchanged a glance.

Justin pulled Rose into his lap.  “I guess it does.”

“So…I can call you that?”  Rose asked innocently.  “Papa, I mean?”

“I would love for you to call me papa.”  Justin assured with a smile as he gave the girl a squeeze.  Then, he leaned close to her ear.  “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure!”  Rose was excited to know her new papa wanted to share a secret with just her.

Justin spoke to Rose, but kept his smiling eyes trained on Camarin’s.  “When your mama and I get back…we’re going to talk to someone who will help us adopt you and Kaya.”

“Adopt?”  Rose wrinkled her nose.  She wasn’t sure what that meant.

Camarin leaned into the conversation now.  “It’s hard to explain, honey.  But, it means Justin…”  She stopped and corrected herself.  “…Your papa and I are going to be sort of like your real parents.”

“Really?”  Rose sat up, interested in this concept.  “So…Kaya and me will have the same last name as you?”

“Yep!”  Justin smiled.

“Wow!”  Rose shouted.  “Rose Quinn!”  She gave both parents another hug, then quickly ran out in search of her aunt and uncle, with whom she excitedly shared her good news.

Johnny picked her up and held her so she could watch the limo leave above the heads of the other people gathered for the send off.  “Aloha!”  He shouted, and giggled as Rose parroted him.

As Johnny watched the limo drive off into the night, he recalled the events of the past few years and marveled at how quickly life could change.  Yes, there had been plenty of trials to overcome, but the blessings that he had received far outweighed the struggles.  In the span of a few short years he had made new friends, bought a house, found out the truth about his past, gotten married, and become a husband, father, brother, and uncle.  As the vehicle carrying his sister and brother-in-law vanished from his sight, he reflected on his own wedding night just a few short months ago and a knowing smile lit his face.  He realized in that moment that one of the greatest blessings in life was the happiness that came from knowing his loved ones were happy.  He returned Rose to the ground, and watched her run off excitedly toward the beach.  Then, he turned to see Hannah standing next to him holding their daughter.  Life was good.

***

“Camarin Raven Sky Quinn.”  Justin walked up behind his new bride, who was standing at the door to their balcony watching the moonlight dance on distant waves.  He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled at her ear.  “I like the sound of that…”

Camarin felt a flush begin at her toes and travel upward through seemingly every nerve ending in her body.  She closed her eyes and savored the electrifying sensation, marveling at how her husband could manage to bring forth this reaction seemingly at will.  Afraid to speak for fear of breaking the spell, she responded to Justin’s remark by turning and allowing her lips to intercept a kiss originally meant for the side of her neck.  “I do too.”

Having all but completely recovered from his injuries, Justin scooped Camarin into his arms in one breath stealing moment and carried her to the bed, where he deposited her gently beneath him.  And, he managed to do all this without ever completely losing lip contact.  Slightly out of breath now, he spoke between kisses.  “You ready to…make it…official?”

“Sure am…”  Camarin’s brown eyes were dusky with need.

“Well then…”  Justin reached up with one hand and turned off the light above the bed while sliding the other between Camarin’s thighs.  “Let’s get…to it.”

Suddenly there were far too many buttons on Justin’s shirt and Camarin fumbled with them in her haste to reach bare skin.  “Let’s…do that.”

Sensing Camarin’s dilemma, Justin opted to help her out, and within seconds, he was shrugging out of his shirt and casting it on the floor beside the bed.  He was beginning to realize that even though this certainly was not his ‘first time’ or even his first time with Camarin, there was something inexplicably powerful about it now that he was married.  And that thought seemed to drive his passion to a new and deeper level.  This was his wife…the woman he would share the rest of his life with.  The completion of his being.  The yin to his yang.  The perfect complement to his soul. 

All conscious thought drifted away as the couple became lost in this moment…a moment that would remain etched in their hearts for a lifetime.  And possibly even longer.

***

“Justin and Camarin should be here soon.”  Hannah was rocking Malcolm on the porch swing on the deck while McKenna cooed happily from her own swing beside them.  Kaya and Rose sat at the table, coloring.  It was a warm, spring day, so the family was enjoying some time outside.

“Oh, that’s right.”  Johnny stopped on his way down the steps.  He had wanted to take Red out for a run.  He looked at his watch.  “I almost forgot.  Guess my ride can wait ‘til later.”  He retraced his way back toward the house.

“I bet Mama and Papa had a great time on their honeymoon.”  Rose commented as she reached for a red crayon.  “I wonder if they saw any volcanoes.”

“I’m sure they did, silly.”  Kaya teased as she put the finishing touches on her picture.

“I’m sure they’ll tell us all about it.”  Johnny looked up at the sound of a vehicle turning onto the long, gravel driveway that led to the house.  “Bet that’s them now.”  He walked over to the deck railing and kept his eyes trained on the road.  Sure enough, Justin’s Mercedes, which Johnny had left parked at the airport for them, was approaching.  He watched until the car pulled into the empty spot next to his Rover and the newlyweds exited.

“Aloha, everyone!”  Justin called out as he approached the steps.  He was decked out in a brightly colored shirt, khaki shorts, and a pair of leather sandals.  A bracelet, seemingly fashioned from shells and hemp, adorned his left wrist.

“Aloha!”  Came various excited calls from the deck.

Camarin followed her husband, wearing her own brand of tropical fare.  A breezy sundress revealed copper skin made impossibly darker in the island sun.  And she sported a large brimmed sunhat.  A happy squeal left her lips as she was nearly knocked over by her two daughters who were determined to show her how much she was missed.  “I missed you two!  But, I bet you had fun helping take care of your cousins.”

As Kaya began filling Camarin in on the week’s adventures, Rose was busy nearly knocking Justin off his feet with a bear hug that barely reached his waist.

“Oh, be careful, Rose…”  Camarin warned.  “Justin…I mean your papa hurt his shoulder.”

“You what?”  Johnny became instantly concerned.  “What happened?”

Justin rolled his eyes and picked up his daughter as if to demonstrate he was fine.  “Nothing happened.”  He looked at Camarin.  “And this is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Well, something must have happened.”  Hannah protested, sorry to hear Justin had apparently managed to injure himself on his honeymoon.

“Your brother…”  Camarin ascended the steps and sat down on the swing beside Hannah.  “…decided he was going to try water skiing.”

“Oh, I always wanted to try that!”  Hannah handed Malcolm off to his aunt and turned toward her.

“Yeah, me too.”  Johnny admitted.  In fact, it had been something he and Hannah had discussed trying together.

“Oh, it was great, man!”  Justin reached the deck and put Rose down.  “Let me tell you…you go a lot faster than you think.”

Johnny considered that for a moment.  “What did you do, wipe out?”

“Well…”  Justin leaned against the deck railing.  “It takes every ounce of strength just to keep yourself upright on those skis.  The last day we were there, I stayed out a little longer than I probably should have. And well…I guess my muscles started to fatigue…”

“I was watching him from the back of the boat.”  Camarin continued.  “We went around a curve and boom!  Next thing I knew he was in the water.”

“Felt a strain in my left shoulder and I lost my grip.  Just overworked it a bit, that’s all.”  Justin rubbed at his left shoulder with his right hand.

“Did you feel a pop?”  Johnny asked, moving to his brother-in-law’s shoulder intending to assess it.  But, Justin pulled it away protectively.

“It happened too fast to feel much of anything.”  Justin shrugged it off.  “Anyway, it’s fine now.”

“That’s what he wants everyone to think.”  Camarin warned.  “I think he should let Todd look at it.”

“Cam…”  Justin whined.

“It couldn’t hurt.”  Johnny defended his sister’s idea.  “If it’s fine, I’m sure he’ll let you know that.”

Justin sighed.  “I’m a physical therapist.  And it’s my shoulder.  I think I would know if there was anything seriously wrong with it.  Geez, I thought you guys would want to hear about the trip, not sit here and worry about a pulled muscle.”

“We do want to hear about your trip!”  Rose exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah stood.  “Before you start, does anyone want anything to drink?  I made some iced tea.”

“Sure.  That sounds good.”  Camarin got up and followed Hannah into the kitchen, intending to help.  Then, the girls followed suit, abandoning the deck to be where the women were.  Malcolm and McKenna rocked happily in their swings.

“Ok, Justin…”  Johnny looked over his shoulder as if checking to see if the coast was clear.  “It’s just us.  Now talk to me about your shoulder.”

“John, it’s like I said.  It’s a muscle strain.  No more.  No less.”  Justin moved his shoulder around in its socket.  “I just need to rest it a few days.  If it doesn’t get better, I’ll let Todd know.  Okay?”

“Yeah…okay.”  Johnny decided to drop the subject.  After all, he knew better than most how annoying it could be when someone nagged about getting an injury checked when deep down inside you knew it was nothing serious.  In the end, he supposed Justin was capable of making such an assessment, and would not take chances with his well being now that he was married and the business was picking up.  He decided to change the subject.  “So, are you open for business again tomorrow?  Or isn’t the honeymoon officially over yet.”

Justin sat down on the now-empty porch swing and began swaying slightly.  “I don’t have any clients scheduled until next week.  But, I go back to work at Rampart on Monday.  I was going to paint the ceilings in the therapy room Saturday, but I guess that would be pretty hard on my shoulder right now.  If I want to be able to work next week, I better give it a rest.”

“Yeah, you better.”  Johnny agreed, then had an idea.  “You know I’m off Saturday.  I could come over and paint the ceilings.”

“That’s an ugly job, John.  I’d hate to ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask.  I offered.  Besides I love to paint.  And the women are all going shopping Saturday.”

Johnny was right.  Camarin, Hannah, and Joanne were all planning to go shopping together with all the kids.  They were going to look for some clothes for all of them.

Justin thought about Johnny’s offer.  On the one hand, he hated to take advantage of his generosity.  On the other hand, wasn’t that what family was for?  “If you’re sure it’s not too much trouble…”

“It’s not.  And I bet Roy would help too, since Jo and the kids’ll be gone.  We could get some pizza and some beer.  Make a day of it!”  As much as Johnny loved being married and having children, he was finding himself excited for some time with just the guys.

“Okay…I guess that would be all right.”  Justin smiled.  “Thanks!”

“Anytime.”

The girls returned with some light refreshments and the rest of the afternoon was spent visiting with Justin and Camarin sharing stories about their trip until finally Justin decided it was time to go.

“We better get home and get unpacked.”  Justin yawned and stretched.  “We’re still on Oahu time, so we’re really off our schedule…and you two…”  He looked at Kaya and Rose.  “Have school tomorrow.”

“And while you’re at school…”  Camarin continued.  “Your papa and I are going to go house hunting.”

“Yay!”  Rose exclaimed excitedly.  “Are we gonna live on the beach again?”

“That’s the plan…”  Justin ruffled the tiny girl’s hair.  “But houses on the beach don’t come cheap.  Depends what your mama and I can afford.”

“But you lived on the beach before!”  Rose protested.

“That’s when it was just him.”  Kaya pointed out.  “Now there’s the four of us.  That means more bedrooms…more groceries…”

“…and a whole lot more fun no matter where we live.”  Justin smiled.  He gathered the girls in his arms for a hug before standing and corralling his family to the car.  Goodbyes were exchanged and the Quinns left for Long Beach.

“So…did you talk to Justin about his shoulder?”  Hannah wondered as she picked up Malcolm and offered him a bottle.

“Yeah.”  Johnny nodded.  “He said he’s sure it’s just a muscle strain.”

“Do you think it’s just a muscle strain?” 

Johnny shrugged his shoulders.  “I don’t know, Han.  I didn’t look at it.  But, it didn’t seem to be giving him too much trouble, and he is a physical therapist…”

“Mm-hm.  Just like you’re a paramedic.”  Hannah narrowed her eyes accusingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…”  Hannah shifted her position on the swing, folding one leg underneath her.  “That it’s like pulling teeth to get you to see a doctor when something’s wrong…”

“Pulling teeth?”  Johnny draped his hand across his chest and raised an eyebrow incredulously.  “Me?”

“Yes you.”  Hannah teased with a smile.

Johnny could only laugh as he walked inside to refill his glass of iced tea.

***

“That looks great!  Thanks a lot, guys.”  Justin stood admiring the freshly painted ceiling as the large windows lining the beachfront wall of the therapy room rattled again.

“As windy as it is out there tonight, we should just open the doors.  I bet the paint would be dry inside an hour.”  Johnny walked over to the patio doors and peeked outside.  Another gust of wind drew sand from the beach and spattered it against the siding.

“Yeah…and get three inches of sand all over everything, not to mention all over the fresh paint.”  Justin walked over and joined his brother-in-law. 

“Well, I don’t know about you two, but I’m ready for some dinner.”  Roy wiped his hands on a rag.

“Yeah, me too.”  Justin rotated his shoulder in its socket gingerly.

“Your shoulder okay?”  Johnny asked.  He had tried to talk Justin into letting him and Roy do all of the painting, but Justin had refused, insisting that he could help with the rolling because of the long handle.

The ache in Justin’s shoulder jagged a path down the inside of his arm that was so intense he could feel it in his teeth.  It wasn’t bad enough to do anything about it…yet.  But, he knew that if it didn’t improve soon, he would need to say something to Todd.  “Yeah…it’s fine.”  He moved over toward the phone.  “There aren’t any pizza places around here that deliver.  But, I could call in an order and go pick it up.”

“Why don’t you let me?”  Roy offered as he washed his hands. 

“Are you sure you want to?”  Justin wasn’t crazy about the idea of sending his helper out to get dinner for them, especially in these high winds.  But, the truth was, he wanted a hot shower, hoping it would help decrease the pain in his shoulder.

“Sure.”  Roy shrugged, donning his jacket.  “You guys can clean up.”

“A-ha…”  Johnny waggled his finger playfully at his friend.  “Smart…”

“Oh, I don’t know, John…”  Justin bent down and picked up the pile of rags.  “The way that wind’s blowing, I think we got the better end of the deal.  We can have this done in no time.”

“Yeah…okay.”  Johnny picked up the paint tray and carefully carried it to the sink.  “Be careful, Roy.  Don’t blow away.”

“I’ll try not to.”  Roy promised, then he got quick directions from Justin, and left.

Johnny finished washing out the paint tray, and then went back to the paint can, cleaning it up and sealing the lid tight.  “Where do you want to keep the rest of this paint?”

“You can just put it out on the patio for now.  I’ll have to figure out where I want to store it.”  Justin busied himself washing out the brushes that had been used for edging.

Johnny opened the door to the patio and was nearly knocked backward by a wall of wind.  Forcing his way outside, he set the paint can down far away from the door so no one would trip on it.  Although it was very windy, the sky was clear, and the moon was bright over the water.  Johnny stood with his hand resting on the metal post supporting the patio roof, mesmerized by nature’s motion picture show as sand swirled and the ocean rocked under silver-white caps.

In the next instant his world exploded in a brilliant white flash.

The wind brought down a large tree limb, which took the power lines leading to the clinic down with it.  Both landed on the metal roof of the patio causing a jolt of electricity to course down the support Johnny was leaning against with enough energy to knock him completely off his feet and into the window with a breath-stealing crunch.  The force was enough to cause the window to shatter into seemingly a million tiny shards.

“What the…”  Justin had been busy at the sink and didn’t see what had happened.  But, he heard the unmistakable zap of voltage quickly followed by the sound of breaking glass just as the lights above him flickered and went out, leaving him in the dark. 

Abandoning the brushes in the sink, he grabbed a large flashlight from the nearby closet and walked back out to the therapy room to see what happened.  There, he saw Johnny lying amidst a pile of broken glass, his body twitching, the odor of ozone surrounding him.  “John!”  Justin quickly set the light down and knelt by his brother-in-law’s side, ignoring the sharp pin-pricks caused by tiny flecks of glass making their way through the fabric of his jeans.  He grasped at Johnny’s neck feeling for a pulse, and breathed an immense sigh of relief upon finding one.  The muscle twitching was alarming, but at least his brother-in-law was alive.  A quick look at Johnny’s hands revealed scorched skin and angry blisters already forming on his right palm.  Another quick assessment revealed a small amount of blood pooling in spots on the hardwood floor beneath him, but not enough to warrant immediate action.  Justin leaned in close to Johnny’s face to assure that he was breathing, then tried getting his attention.  “John, can you hear me?”  When there was no response, he tried a sternal rub.  “John!”

A soft, yet prolonged moan was followed by rapidly blinking eyes that eventually opened, registering fear and confusion.  “Wha…”

“Don’t try to move, man.  There’s glass all over the floor.”

“Wha…”  Johnny blinked again at the blurry image of Justin’s concerned face leaning over him.  And it was then that the pain hit him.  His entire body from head to toe ached and throbbed in time with his racing pulse and his right hand burned with fury.  “What…happened?”  He barely got the words out before every muscle in his body seemed to contract at once in one, big agonizing spasm.  “Ahhh….God…”

Justin had never felt so helpless.  He was no stranger to muscle cramps, and usually knew just what to do to relieve them.  But, this went beyond anything in his experience.  All he could do was voice trite-sounding words of comfort as he watched Johnny’s body tense and contract mercilessly.  His hands reached out for a moment, as if they wanted to try some stretch or some bit of massage.  But, the spasms were so encompassing, Justin didn’t know where to start. 

Justin raked his hand backward through his hair, holding the layers away from his face, as he looked around, searching the empty room for help.  He knew he needed to call someone, but he was afraid to leave Johnny’s side.  He had obviously nearly been electrocuted and Justin feared his heart could become erratic at any moment or even stop beating altogether.  He glanced at his watch.  Roy would be back soon, but not soon enough.  “I’ll be right back.”  Justin kept an eye trained on Johnny, his throat tightening as the spasms started up again.  He moved quickly to the phone and found no dial tone.  “Damn it!”  He slammed down the receiver and moved to the broken window.  A quick look outside revealed what had happened.  Justin could see a large limb hanging partially over the side of the roof, with sizzling and popping power lines entwined in it.  Deciding in that moment that he and Johnny were both too close to the action, he grabbed Johnny under the shoulders and dragged him backward into the center of the room, ignoring the trails of blood on the floor and the increasing ache in his own shoulder.

Johnny arched his back and cried out again as another set of strong spasms assaulted him.

“Hey…hey…you’re okay.  Looks like you took a good jolt, but you’re okay…”  Justin kept up his soothing mantra, trying to convince himself as much as Johnny.

When Johnny’s muscles again relaxed between contractions, he looked up at Justin.  “What…the hell happened?”

“Looks like the wind brought down part of that old tree outside and took the power lines with it.  You must have been touching something metal out on the patio.”   Justin pointed toward the ugly burns on Johnny’s palm.

Searing pain caused Johnny to raise the offending hand toward his face to get a better look, but his attempt was quickly stifled.

“Just keep your hand still.”

“It hurts…”  Johnny sucked air through his teeth at the sensation.  His entire arm seemed to be throbbing now, and it shook with the effort of staving off the scorching sting enveloping his hand.

“I know.  You’ve got some burns.  Roy’ll be here any minute and we’ll get you some help.”  Justin glanced at his watch again.  Only a few minutes had passed.  He was frustrated, but what could he do?  He couldn’t leave Johnny here alone while he went for help for fear the jolt may have affected his heart in ways that hadn’t manifested yet.  “I’ll get you some ice.”  He rose to his feet and jogged to the refrigerator where he pulled out an ice pack, doing his best to ignore his brother-in-law’s exclamations of pain as his muscles began contracting again.

Ice and towel in hand, Justin returned to the spot where Johnny was, and he scanned the area illuminated by the flashlight’s beam.   The howling wind accompanied by audible waves of electrical current, along with the glass and blood all over the floor and Johnny’s writhing body, made the scene look like something out of a horror movie.  Dread coursed up and down Justin’s spine as he considered the possibility that Camarin and the girls could return at any time.  And, he shivered to think of them coming home to this.

He knelt down again and placed the towel over Johnny’s hand, and then the ice.

“Ahhh….dammit!”  Johnny again took a long draw of air through his teeth as the frozen pack made contact with his blistered skin.  But, then after the first few seconds, he relaxed slightly as the ice drew away some of the intense heat.  However, his relief was short-lived.  Again, every muscle contorted, drawing his limbs inward toward his body.  He cried out again.  This pain was unlike anything he’d ever felt.

“I know…I know…”  Justin placed a firm hand on Johnny’s shoulder, hoping it would be enough to help him through this latest wave.  “At least they seem to be getting less frequent.”

“Yeah…”  Johnny spoke through gritted teeth left behind by contracting jaw muscles.  Then, he panted shallowly as the spasms again began to abate, leaving a deep, all-consuming ache in their wake. 

Justin looked up expectantly at the sound of the front door opening, saying a silent prayer it was Roy and not Camarin and the girls.  He soon had his answer, and relief flooded his veins.

“Hope you guys are hungry!”  Roy called out from the lobby.  “What happened to the lights?”  The voice came closer.  “Did you guys decide to…”  He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in the therapy room.  But a few seconds later, he deposited the pizza boxes on the cabinet and hurried toward his friends.  “What happened?”

Justin filled Roy in on the events of the past fifteen minutes.  Then, he rose to his feet.  “You stay with him.  I’m gonna run next door and call for help.”

“Yeah, okay…”  Roy knelt down and immediately began assessing Johnny’s condition, speaking as he went.  “Ask for the fire department and an ambulance.  Tell them there are wires down, so they send an engine crew.”

“Right.”  Justin turned to go.

“Are you okay?”  Roy asked, looking up at Justin.

“Me?”  Justin was a little surprised at the question.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Roy said nothing to justify his query, but pointed toward the other man’s knees.

Justin looked down and noticed what Roy apparently had.  That his jeans were stained dark over both knees with blood.  He figured he must have cut them pretty good on the glass.  He hadn’t even noticed.  “Oh…”

“When you get back, we’ll take a look at those.”  Roy promised, then turned his attention back to his friend on the floor.  “Can’t leave you two alone for ten minutes.”  He joked casually, trying to keep his nerves in check.  “Look at the mess you made.”

“Did make…a mess of things…didn’t I?”  Johnny craned his head to look at the broken out window.  The clinic had just been finished, and now here it was, damaged.

“It wasn’t your fault.”  Roy knew Johnny was feeling guilty now, and regretted his words, even though they had been meant to lighten the mood.  He wrapped his fingers around Johnny’s wrist again and silently measured his pulse.  It was understandably on the quick side, but it was the slightly irregular pattern that had Roy feeling a little on edge.

Johnny tried to slow down his breathing.  His entire body ached with intense pain, but he was relieved that he hadn’t had any muscle spasms since Roy had arrived.  He fervently hoped that part of this experience was over.  “Guess I…must not’ve…gotten too much…of a…shock.”

“I’d say you got enough.”  Roy carefully removed the ice from Johnny’s hand, which rested on the floor.  While it was true this event could have been much worse, Roy knew his friend was far from out of the woods.  “Let’s take a look at this hand.”  He gently peeled back the towel and cringed at the sight.  Johnny’s entire palm was charred in vivid hues of black and red.  And blisters had already formed and begun breaking, causing the skin to appear sticky.  A faint aroma of burnt flesh rose to meet Roy’s nostrils, and he could feel his gag reflex kick into gear.  Roy wasn’t usually affected by the many undesirable odors associated with his job, but when something like this happened to a friend…well, as Roy had found out far too many times already, it always seemed to affect him in different and much more powerful ways, as if every sense had been heightened.

“How…how bad…is it?”  Johnny searched his friend’s face for the answers he feared he wouldn’t give.

“Not too bad.”  Roy wasn’t being dishonest.  It certainly wasn’t as bad as it could have been.  “Some second degree burns.”

“Feels like…my hand is…on…on fire.”  Johnny closed his eyes, trying to block out the unbelievable pain he was feeling.

“I bet it does.”  Roy ran his hands down long, gangly limbs.  “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“Back…back hurts.”  Johnny breathed, clenching his teeth.

“What do you mean?”  Roy was alarmed at this development

“I think I…I think I…I cut it.”

“I think you’re right.”  Roy looked around at the blood on the floor.  “I don’t think it’s too bad though.  Wanna see if you can roll on your side for me and we’ll take a look?”

Johnny nodded, but his motion was stopped by the sound of Justin’s voice.  “Help’s on the way.”  He knelt down again, on the side opposite Roy.  “How’s he doing?”

“Not too bad, all things considered.  I was just gonna check his back.  Can you help me roll him?”

“Sure.”  Justin reached out, but drew back when he realized it seemed Johnny preferred to move himself.  So, he allowed him to do just that, opting to support him with a hand on his shoulder once he was positioned on his side.  He watched as Roy ran his hands carefully down the back of Johnny’s body.

“He’s probably got some glass embedded in places.  Do you have a pair of scissors handy?”

“Yeah.”  Justin pointed with his head.  “In the drawer over there.”

Roy walked over to the cabinet and returned with the scissors.  Then, he used them to slit up the back of Johnny’s shirt, cringing at what he saw.  Johnny’s back was literally covered in lacerations…some barely a scrape, some deeper and oozing blood, and some larger ones that were freely bleeding.  Roy picked up the nearby flashlight and moved the beam over Johnny’s skin, taking a closer look.  Tiny pieces of glass glistened here and there in the light.  “I don’t see anything that will need stitches…”  He ran his hands through Johnny’s hair, checking for blood or glass there, and found none.  Then, he slit up the backs of both pant legs and found tiny cuts here and there, but it looked as if his back had borne the brunt of the damage.  He leaned close to Johnny’s ear.  “How do you feel on your side?  Is it more comfortable like this?”  Roy imagined that it had to be, but he wanted to be sure.

“Yeah…”  Johnny was relieved to find he did actually feel better in this position.  “But…what if…don’t wanna start…cramping again.”

“I think we may be past that part of it, John.”  Justin hoped he was right.  “Bet your muscles are pretty sore, huh?”

Johnny snorted in mock laughter.  “Don’t think…even one of your…massages would…fix me right now…”

“Yeah probably not.”  Justin agreed, wishing he could do something to relieve some of Johnny’s discomfort.  He settled for gently rubbing his shoulder.  “Besides, I’d be afraid any stimulation of the muscles right now would set them right off cramping again.”

Johnny said nothing in response, but tried to calm himself under the comforting hands of his friends.  He was fully aware how close he’d come to death this evening, and the thought of that made him shudder.  In one mind blowing moment he realized how much more impact his death would have now that he was a father.

Justin felt Johnny’s body tense and shudder under his palm.  “You okay?”

“Yeah I…”  Johnny shivered again.  “Just kinda…freaked out.”

That makes two of us.  “I think you earned the right, my friend.”  Justin continued gently rubbing Johnny’s right shoulder and arm while Roy stood and moved to the door upon hearing approaching sirens.

“Ss-sorry about…your window…”

Justin shook his head.  Leave it to Johnny to think of something like that right now.  “Don’t worry about that…”

“I’ll…I’ll fix it...”

“John…”  Justin looked up at the sound of several sets of approaching footsteps.  He could hear Roy filling in the arriving paramedics and their captain on what had transpired.

Charlie Dwyer knelt down at Johnny’s side and nodded to Justin.  He recognized him as a friend of Johnny’s and Roy’s.  “Hey, Johnny…I know you’re more comfortable on your side, so we’re going to try to let you stay that way.  But, we need to get you patched in for an EKG so we can see what your heart is up to, okay?”

“Yeah…okay…”  Johnny didn’t move.  He was afraid it would set off another round of muscle cramps.

Justin helped move Johnny’s shirt aside so Dwyer could attach the leads to his chest, while Bob Bellingham obtained a blood pressure on Johnny’s right arm.

As the cuff deflated, Bob reported his findings to the others.  “150 over 92.  It’s a little up there.”

“I’m not too surprised considering…”  Roy remarked as he knelt near Johnny’s feet ready to assist the on duty medics in any way he could.

“EKG is showing a few PVCs.”  Charlie commented as he studied the monitor carefully.  “And a rate of 110.”

“How about some O2?”  Roy reached for the portable cylinder and began unfurling the tubing.  He then set the flow at 10 liters and affixed the mask to Johnny’s face.

Johnny immediately began to protest, and his hand moved toward the mask.  “Don’t….need that, Roy.”

“Your vitals say you do.”  Roy held fast to the mask, and silently communicated to Justin that he should make sure it stayed where it was.

Bob, who had already made initial contact with Rampart, keyed up the biophone.  “Rampart, our patient is John Gage.  He’s suffering from the effects of an electrical shock which caused him to be propelled through a window.  He’s conscious and coherent, but a bit groggy.  According to witnesses, there was a brief period of unresponsiveness, followed by several episodes of severe muscle spasms.  The spasms seem to have subsided now, but the patient is complaining of severe muscle pain throughout his body.  Vital signs are pulse 110, BP 150 over 92, and respirations about 22.  The cardiac monitor is showing occasional PVC’s.  Stand by for a strip.”

Brackett’s voice could be heard over the biophone.  “10-4, 51.  Standing by.”  The concerned doctor received the strip of paper as it was ejected from the base station monitor.  “51, we confirm tachycardia with occasional PVC’s.  How was the patient shocked?”

Bob keyed the receiver.  “He was touching a metal support post when a power line leading into the building came down onto the roof. There are extensive second degree burns on his right palm.  Also, Rampart, the patient has multiple lacerations from the window glass.  Most of them are on his back.  Bleeding from those is minor.”

Brackett sighed and made eye contact with Dixie as he wondered not for the first time how Johnny managed to get himself into these situations.  At least this one hadn’t been as dire as it could have been.  “10-4, 51.  Start an IV with lactated ringers and administer 10 mg MS IV.  Apply sterile dressings to the burns and irrigate and cover the lacerations as best you can.  Continue monitoring vitals, particularly his EKG, and transport in a position of comfort.”

“10-4, Rampart.”  Bob repeated Brackett’s orders while Charlie pulled a bottle of saline and a roll of gauze out of the trauma box.

“We’re gonna give you something for that pain, then we’ll get you cleaned up a bit and on your way.”  Charlie promised as he poured saline over Johnny’s palm and began wrapping the gauze loosely around it.  Once he was finished wrapping, he saturated the gauze with more saline before handing the bottle to Bob, who had been busy starting the ordered IV and administering the narcotic.

Bob used his bandage scissors to make quick work of Johnny’s shirt.  Then, he picked up the bottle of saline and poured the remaining contents freely over the lacerations on his patient’s back.

Johnny cringed and shivered slightly at the sensation of the cool liquid on his raw wounds.  He fervently hoped the involuntary tensing this was causing would not send his muscles into another spasm.  He concentrated on breathing as slowly and evenly as he could until Bob opened another bottle and emptied it too.  Then, he relaxed slightly when he felt soft 4x4’s being placed over his skin in various areas.  His back stung with fury, and he cringed at the thought of how extensive the damage must be as more bandages kept coming.

Justin watched the paramedics tend to his brother-in-law in near silence, only opting to offer a word of encouragement here and there or answer a question about what had happened prior to Roy’s arrival.  But, suddenly a thought occurred to him.  “Hey, John?  How does your hip feel?”

Johnny thought about that for a moment.  “It’s…I think it’s okay.”

“You think?”  Roy hadn’t thought about that either.  “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

Johnny took another moment, just to be sure.  “I’m sure.  It’s okay.”  Despite all that had just happened to him, Johnny found himself relieved at this discovery.

Justin stood back as the ambulance attendants and the others lifted Johnny onto the litter, allowing him to remain on his left side for transport.  After his injured hand was propped on several pillows, he was ready to go.

Justin knew that Roy would likely ride in the ambulance with his friend, so he leaned over to let Johnny know he would take care of some other things.  “Hey, John.  As soon as I get this window covered, I’ll be over.  I talked to Hannah when I went next door.  She’s going to leave the babies with Joanne and meet us at Rampart, okay?”

“Okay…thanks…”  Johnny’s words slurred from the sedating effects of the recently administered morphine.

Roy paused and allowed Dwyer and Bellingham to accompany Johnny to the ambulance.  He looked over at Justin.  “Do you need any help with the window?”

At that moment, Captain Hookraider tromped into the room through the patio door.  “Power’s off, and the power company’s on the way to get you fixed up and back in service. Do you have a way to secure that window?”

“I have a tarp I can put over it for now.  I’ll have to pick up some plywood in the morning to put up until I can replace it.”  Justin motioned for Roy to leave.  “Go with John.  I can take care of this.”

Roy felt torn.  He wanted to be with Johnny, but he also knew that Justin’s shoulder had been bothering him.  He hated to leave him alone to take care of things, because he knew he would take care of them, despite the possibility that it could cause him further injury.  And then there was the damage to his knees.  Roy wasn’t sure, but it looked like the blood stain over the left one had grown larger since the last time he’d looked.  “You should come and be checked out too.”  He looked up at the familiar captain.  “Cap?  Would you…”

Hookraider held up a hand.  “Sure.  We can take care of securing a tarp over this before we go.  Where is it?”

Justin didn’t feel right making the firemen stay to do this.  “Really…I can…”

Hookraider placed a hand on Justin’s shoulder.  “Look, Roy says you need to get your knees checked, and from the looks of those stains on your jeans, I’d say he’s right.  You go with him, and don’t worry about anything here.”

“Okay…thanks.”  Justin offered reluctantly as he began to follow Roy out the front.  “The tarp is in the basement.  Stairs are right over there.”  He pointed toward a closed door off his office.

Outside, Roy held the side door of the ambulance open for Justin.  “Can you make it up there okay?”

“Up…I’m not going in the ambulance.”

“Why not?”  Roy asked.  “I can take a look at your knees on the way in.”

Justin shook his head and backed away.  “No…no, just go with John.  I said I’d go, but I didn’t say I’d go in the ambulance.  I’m gonna drive myself.”

Roy almost shook his head, amazed at how much Justin and Johnny were alike.  “Justin, you’re bleeding…”

“Yeah.”  Justin fished his car keys out of his pocket and moved toward his Mercedes.  “It’s not bad though.  I’ll see you over there.”

“Okay…”  Roy shrugged as he boarded the ambulance for the ride to Rampart.

***

As per the usual, things started moving quickly once the ambulance arrived at the emergency room.  Johnny’s litter was quickly whisked down the hall to the prescribed treatment room, followed by Charlie Dwyer who held an IV bag aloft, and Roy Desoto who was keeping a watchful eye over his friend.

Brackett began barking out orders before Johnny had even been completely transferred onto the exam table.  “Draw blood for a CBC, hematocrit, and cardiac enzymes.  Then, get a UA.”  He studied the pattern on the monitor closely.  “Still a few PVC’s.  How was he on the way in?”  The doctor began carefully peeking under the damp dressings on his patient’s back, his mouth twitching at the extensive cuts and scrapes.

“Stable.”  Charlie reported.  “No more muscle cramps.  And the MS seems to have helped with the pain.  His BP came down a bit to 130 over 84.”

“Good.”  Brackett pulled out his stethoscope and used it to listen carefully to Johnny’s heart and lungs.  Satisfied that all was in order, he looked up at Roy.  “How did this happen again?”

“Justin said Johnny was out on the patio.  He must have been touching something metal…as far as we can guess, one of the support beams.  The wind brought down a tree branch, and that brought down the electrical line leading into Justin’s clinic.  It fell onto the roof and the power of the shock sent Johnny through the window.”  Roy indicated Johnny’s loosely wrapped hand.  “You can see the point of contact there…”

“Right…”  Brackett carefully unwrapped the saline soaked gauze and his brow furrowed at the ugly red blisters and the charred area over Johnny’s palm.  “There was no exit site?”

Roy shook his head.  “None that we could find.”

Brackett moved to Johnny’s legs and bare feet, checking them over thoroughly.  He found a few minor lacerations from the glass, but nothing else.  Then, he moved back up to address his patient.  “Well, Johnny…all things considered, I’d say you were very lucky.  I’m not sure you feel very lucky at the moment…”

Johnny tried to laugh, but he was too exhausted from the night’s ordeal.  “Actually I do, Doc.  Coulda been…a lot…worse.”

“Sure could have.”  Brackett agreed.  “We’ll have to go over these lacerations and remove any pieces of embedded glass.  I don’t think any of them will require stitches, but you’re bound to be pretty sore for a while.”

“I’m pretty sore now, Doc.”  Johnny slurred.

“Is that shot wearing off?”

“Yeah…”  Now that Brackett mentioned it, Johnny realized that not only did his back feel as though someone had lit it on fire, but that oppressive ache throughout every muscle in his body was returning.  His hand, however, didn’t seem to bother him quite as much, and he briefly wondered if that was a good thing.  “I hurt…all over…”

Brackett looked up at Sally, who had just finished taking another blood pressure.  “What was it?”

“140 over 88.”

“Give him 75 mg meperidine.  Then, go ahead and get started on these wounds.”  He gave Johnny’s shoulder a friendly pat.  “Don’t worry.  We’ll get you all fixed up.”

“Gonna have to…stay here, aren’t I?”  Johnny figured he already knew the answer, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hope.

“I’m afraid so, Johnny.”  Brackett reported.  “For a few days at least.  We’ll have to keep an eye on your cardiac function for a while.”

“Can’t…blame a…guy for trying.”  Johnny quipped.

***

Out in the busy ER hallway, Justin walked toward the base station hoping to find the women and news on Johnny.  He looked a sight in his paint spattered clothing, his jeans stained dark at the knees and then some.  In addition to that, his hands were covered in dried blood from Johnny’s wounds, his hair was mussed, and sand, which had blown in through the open window, stuck to his body in places.

Todd Andrews, who had been called to the ER for a consult, and was just finishing making notations in a chart, looked up from his position at the base station at the haggard figure limping toward him.  “Justin?”  He closed the chart and immediately moved to support his friend, thinking he looked barely on his feet.  “What the hell…”

Justin quickly brushed his boss off.  “I’m fine, Todd.  John was brought in.  Have you seen Hannah and Cam anywhere?”  He looked past Todd toward the waiting area.

 “I’m aware John was brought in.  No, I haven’t seen Hannah or Camarin.  And you…”  He knelt down to get a better look at what he thought were blood stains on Justin’s jeans.  “…are not fine.  Come on…”  He took Justin by the arm in an attempt to lead him into a treatment room, and then drew back in alarm at the physical therapist’s hiss of pain.

“Todd…”  Justin tried to edge past his superior.  “I don’t have time for this…”

“From what I heard, John had a pretty bad scare, but he’s stable and doing fine.  However, I thought he was the one who went through the window.  From the looks of you, I’m beginning to think you followed him.”

Justin was clearly annoyed now.  “Todd…”  He looked past the doctor and saw Dixie walking toward them.  “Hey, Dix!”

Dixie approached the pair, her eyes scrutinizing the normally well kept therapist.  From what Roy had told her, the evening had been a pretty harrowing experience for him, so she was not surprised to see he looked a little worse for the wear.  And, she decided to tread lightly, anticipating what, or rather who, he was looking for.  “The girls are in the lounge.  I just filled them in on what’s going on with Johnny.”

Justin’s gratitude was expressed through a prolonged sigh.  “What is going on with John?”

“Well…”  Dixie looked from Todd to Justin.  She could tell Todd was concerned and growing impatient.  “According to Kel, he’s stable.  They’re cleaning up his wounds now.  He’ll have to stay here for a few days, but Kel seems to think he’ll be okay.”

“Which is exactly what I just told you.”  Todd reminded.  “Dix, is there a treatment room available?”

“Three is all set up.”  The nurse almost laughed at the scowl crossing Justin’s features.  “Do you need any help?”

“I’ll let you know.”  Todd promised Dixie.  Then, he jerked his head toward the room just down the hall.  “Come on.”

Justin suddenly felt drained of any energy he might have had left to argue, but that didn’t stop him from grumbling under his breath as he followed Todd into the exam room.

Once the pair was alone inside the room, and away from the bustle of the ER, Todd turned to face Justin, leaning against the exam table with arms crossed.  He silently appraised his friend from head to toe, and softened his tone.  “Rough night, huh?”

Justin slunked over to the stool next to the bed and sat down heavily.  “You got that right.”

Todd moved over to squat down in front of the stool.  “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

Justin ran his hand backward through his hair, ignoring the sand and grit that he could feel falling to the floor around him.  “I don’t really know what the hell happened.  It all happened so fast…”  He looked into his boss’s eyes and found nothing but patient understanding there.  “I was…I was washing out the brushes…I heard a crash and the lights went out.  I grabbed a flashlight and ran out to check, and John…John was…”

Todd noticed Justin’s hands were shaking.  It was obvious the events of the past few hours had been pretty traumatic, and he didn’t feel the need to make his friend elaborate further.  He rose to his feet, placing a hand on Justin’s shoulder.  “It’s okay, Justin.  It’s over now, and John’s going to be fine.”

“I know, but…”  Justin cursed his body’s natural stress responses when a shiver seemed to begin at his toes and work its way upward through every nerve ending in his body.  Although he knew this was a normal physical reaction, he hated appearing so weak in front of anyone, especially Todd. 

Todd could see that any adrenaline which had been fueling Justin’s body for the past few hours was quickly wearing off.  In fact, he was beginning to look positively exhausted.  “So, I guess you cut your knees on the glass from the window?  When you were helping John?”

“Yeah…I guess so.”  Justin finally took a good look at his jeans and instantly felt a little sick.  Now that his fight or flight hormones had dissipated, both knees were beginning to sting and throb.  Not only that, but his right shoulder ached with nauseating fervor.

“Can I take a look?”

Justin nodded, but said nothing as he slowly stood and began loosening his belt.  It wasn’t long before he allowed his jeans to drop to the floor.  Then, he sat back down and leaned over, taking a look himself.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.  His left knee was sliced open across the kneecap.  The bleeding had stopped for the most part, but it still oozed around the large clot that had formed there.  Trails of dried blood ran down his leg where they were absorbed by his sock at the ankle.  His right knee fared about the same, although it sported more than one incision and it was obvious a small piece of glass was still embedded in one of the wounds.  “Oh, shit…”  A wave of dizziness passed over him, and bile crept up the back of his throat.

Todd immediately noticed Justin beginning to sway, so he reached out to steady him.  “Dizzy?”

Justin blinked a few times as the spinning slowed down.  “Yeah…damn it…a little…nauseous too.”

“Take some slow, deep breaths.”  Todd waited until Justin appeared to be doing better before releasing his grip.  “That’s it…any better?”

Justin nodded.  “Yeah…”

“Look, I’m going to get Dixie.  We need to get that glass out of there, and get those cleaned up.  I think the left one might need a few sutures.  The right one might too.  It’ll go quicker and easier if I have some help.”

There was no use arguing.  Justin knew Todd was right.  “Right…okay.”

Todd helped Justin out of his shoes and then started to leave the room, but quickly thought better of it.  “I think I’d feel better if you were lying down.”

“Todd…”

“I mean it, Justin.  You turned white as a sheet a couple seconds ago.  And you’re going to need to be lying down when we do this anyway.”  Todd helped his reluctant patient to his feet and walked with him over to the exam table.  Once there, he raised the head of the bed 45 degrees and helped Justin lie down, covering his bare legs with a sheet.  “Comfortable?”

“Yeah.”  Justin grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to his waist.

“And when are you going to get around to telling me what’s going on with your shoulder?”

The question at first surprised Justin, then it made him feel angry, as if Todd was somehow invading his privacy.  Damn his acute assessing skills.  “My shoulder?”  As soon as the words left his mouth, Justin felt silly.  There would be no way to put this one over on his boss.

“Yeah…the one you’ve been favoring ever since you got here.”  Todd pointed toward Justin’s right arm.

Justin looked down at the offending joint.  “Oh, it’s uh…I think I strained my deltoid.  I’ve been icing it off and on, and resting it.  That’s why John and Roy were helping me paint in the first place.”

Todd nodded.  He knew Justin had a lot of experience rehabilitating such injuries, and he trusted his judgment.  At least he seemed to be taking care of it.  “How did you do it?”  The surgeon began gently palpating the large muscle on the outside of his patient’s shoulder.

“Water skiing.”  Justin said sheepishly.  He hated admitting he could injure himself so easily.  After all, he worked hard at being in great shape.  And this just felt like a reminder that he was getting old, and was not as flexible or resilient as he once was.  “On our…ouch!”  He winced and drew back as Todd’s exploring fingers found a particularly tender spot.  “…our honeymoon.”

“Why don’t you slide your arm out of your shirt so I can get a better look?”  Todd stood back and watched to see how difficult it would be for Justin to carry out this task.  Relieved that he seemed able to do it without too much trouble, Todd began taking him through a series of range of motion exercises.  When he was finished with that, he applied steady pressure to Justin’s forearm and instructed him to lift it against the resistance.  He noted this seemed a little more difficult.  “That hurts, huh?”

“Yeah…”  Justin knew that it would before Todd even told him to do it.  “It’s in my deltoid, Todd.  I can feel it…”  He raised his left hand to massage the sore area.

“I’m not disagreeing with you, Justin.”  Todd explained.  “The question is…is it a muscle tear, as in a deltoid rupture?  Or is it a tendon?”

Justin frowned as he rubbed at the ache in his upper arm.  “You think it could be my rotator cuff?”

“I think it could be either…or both.”  Todd held Justin’s shirt for him so that he could comfortably feed his arm back through the sleeve.  “I’d like to get some X-rays, just to rule out any damage to the joint itself.  Whatever it is, doesn’t seem too bad.  I could give you a shot of cortisone…”

“No…”  Justin shook his head.  “No, it’s not that bad, Todd.”

“Okay.  Well, you know what to do for it.  And, you also know that if it doesn’t get better in a few months or gets worse…”

“I know…I know…”  Justin sighed.  “Surgery.”

“Maybe.”  Todd gave Justin’s arm a pat.  “But, I doubt it’ll come to that.”  He turned toward the door.  “I’m going to go get Dixie.  Just relax for a few minutes.”

“Yeah…okay…”  Justin leaned his head back and tried to do just that.  He stopped Todd before he could exit.  “Hey, can you check and see how John’s doing?  And let Hannah and Cam know where I am?”

Todd smiled.  “I’m sure Dixie’s already taken care of that.  But, okay.  I’ll check on John.  Then, we need to get you taken care of.”

“Okay…”  Justin leaned back again and closed his eyes.  But he was still too anxious to sleep.

***

Todd peeked his head inside the treatment room across the hall where he knew John Gage would be.  He was not surprised to find Roy there at this friend’s side while a nurse performed the tedious task of cleaning the multitude of wounds on her patient’s back.  Johnny was facing away from Todd, so he was unsure if he was awake for the procedure, and as the orthopod got his first look at the numerous lacerations, he thought about Justin.  No wonder he had been looking so haggard.

“Hi, Doc.”  Roy greeted the familiar face in the doorway.

Todd stepped into the room.  “I’m uh…here on a mission.”

Roy smiled.  “I figured as much.  Did Justin have his knees looked at?”

“He didn’t go quietly, but…yeah.  He’s across the hall.  Probably going to need some stitches.”

“Damn.”  The soft voice from the exam bed barely carried all the way to Todd’s ears.

“What was that, John?”  Todd walked around to the other side of the bed so he could face the injured man.

Johnny’s voice was slurred from hefty doses of narcotics and sedatives.  “Justin…hurt ‘cause o’…me.”

Todd almost shook his head, amazed at how these two seemed to fret over one another.  “Justin’s fine, John.”

“He tell you…’bout his…shoulder?”

“Well…no.  Not until I told him I noticed he was favoring it.”

“He said he thought it was a muscle strain.”  Roy figured he would explain what he knew Johnny wanted the doctor to know.  “He was trying hard not to let on, but we could tell it was bothering him a lot tonight.”

“It could very well be a deltoid strain.  They can be very painful.  Or it could be a rotator cuff injury.  I’ve ordered some X-rays, but I doubt they’ll show anything.  At any rate, Justin knows what to do for it.”  Todd allowed his gaze to linger on the blips crossing the cardiac monitor screen.  Then, he turned his attention to Johnny.  “How are you doing, John?”

“Tired…”  Johnny closed his eyes.  It was true he felt exhausted and drugged, and he really wanted nothing more right now than to be allowed to sleep.

“I bet.”  Todd placed a hand gently on top of the sheet covering Johnny, near his left hip.  “No pain in your hip?”

“No.”

“Considering the vault he took through that window, I consider that a really good thing.”  Roy was genuinely glad Johnny wouldn’t have more to deal with than he already was.  But even more, he was relieved that this fall hadn’t seemed to affect Johnny’s hip.  He was hopeful that meant his friend was finally past that period of chronic pain.

“It is a really good thing.”  Todd agreed.

Kelly Brackett strode into the room and greeted his colleague.  “Hi, Todd.  Dixie is looking for you.”  The doctor approached the exam table and his mouth twitched at the maze of cuts all over Johnny’s back.  “How are we doing here?”

“Almost done, doctor.”  The nurse reported.  Then, she indicated a few areas she had covered with blood soaked gauze.  “Those might need sutured.”

Taking that as his cue to leave, Todd gave Johnny’s leg a pat.  “I better get back to Justin.  Did Dixie say if radiology was done with him yet?”

“They just finished.”  Brackett reported as he lifted one of the saturated bandages and issued an order to the nurse.  “Get me a suture tray.”

“Take care, John.”  Todd nodded to the others as he left the room.

Brackett bent over his patient.  “How are you feeling, Johnny?”

“Jus’ wanna…curl up…in a warm bed….’n’ sleep.”  Johnny slurred.  He knew it was exhaustion and the side effects of his medications, but suddenly he felt annoyed at the necessary attention.  “Where’s…Hannah?”

“She’s here.”  Brackett assured his patient.  “I just left her and Camarin in the lounge.  I told them they could come see you before we move you upstairs.  But, first we need to get these wounds closed.”

An orderly appeared at the door with a folder of information for the doctor.

“Are those his labs?”  Roy wondered, his stomach tightening slightly at what they might indicate.

“Yes they are…”  Brackett pulled out the two page report and scanned it thoroughly.  Then, he smiled at Roy and placed a hand on Johnny’s shoulder.  “Everything looks good, Johnny.  Your cardiac enzymes are a little high, but we expected that.  With a little rest, you should be able to go home in two or three days.  And back to work once your hand heals.”

“Thanks, Doc…”  Johnny was no longer able to keep his eyes open.  He had just fallen asleep when Brackett’s voice startled him awake again.

“Is your back still pretty numb, Johnny?”  The doctor wondered if the anesthetizing shots his patient had received prior to having his wounds cleaned still had enough life in them to last him through being sutured.  “Do you need some more lidocaine before we start this?”

“Hmmm….don’t…know…”  Johnny’s eyes closed again and he drifted off.

“I don’t think he’s feeling much of anything at the moment, Doc.”  Roy observed from his position across the table.

“I think you’re right.”  Brackett smiled.  “But, just to be on the safe side…”  He turned to the nurse and ordered her to draw up another syringe.  Then he carefully injected it near the site of the first laceration that would require suturing.

Johnny stirred only slightly at the needle stick.

***

“Ow!  Damn it, Todd!”  Justin sucked air in through clenched teeth as he gripped his sheet tightly in his fists.  The sting of the injection, followed by an intense burning sensation as the lidocaine entered the tissues around his already sore knee, threatened to bring tears to the therapist’s eyes.

“One more I think’ll do it.”  Todd said calmly as he deposited the used syringe on the metal tray and accepted another full one from Dixie.

“No…I think that’s enough, Todd.”  Justin protested.  “I can feel it getting numb already.”

“Relax, Justin.  It’ll be over in a minute.”  Again, Todd kept his voice calm as he ignored his patient’s argument.

“This is the worst part.”  Dixie rubbed Justin’s forearm soothingly as the second injection was administered.  “The rest is a piece of cake.”

“Yeah…”  Justin watched uneasily as Todd picked up a suture needle attached to a long piece of silk.  “I hope so…”

“You ready?”  Todd asked his friend.  Then, realizing he seemed intent on watching, the doctor tilted his head toward Justin’s pillow.  “Why don’t you lie back and close your eyes?  This will be over before you know it.”

“Yeah…okay…”  Justin hesitated, but finally rested his head back against his pillow.  He closed his eyes and tried to block out the strange tugging sensations at his knee.

After several minutes, and eighteen stitches later, Todd noticed his patient appeared to be sleeping, so he moved onto the right knee, which had already been anesthetized.  “Dix, hand me that small pair of forceps.”

Justin became aware of activity and voices and realized he had been sleeping.  “Hey, Todd…you done yet?”  He opened his eyes just in time to see his boss pull the piece of embedded glass out of his kneecap, along with an accompanying rush of blood that seemed to pour out all over the table.  He instantly felt nauseous.  “Oh, God…”

“Dix…”  Todd warned as he canted his head toward the emesis basin on the tray, but his direction proved unnecessary as the seasoned nurse recognized her patient’s distress immediately.

Dixie held the basin under Justin’s chin and rubbed his back gently throughout the dry heaves that followed.  When she was finally satisfied he was finished gagging, she helped him lean back again against his pillow.  And, she was able to accomplish all of this without ever allowing Justin to see what was going on at his knee.

Justin swallowed down the last of his nausea as he struggled to regain some control.  “Sorry…”  He felt incredibly silly for becoming sick over a little blood.

“Now, Justin.  You know there’s nothing to be sorry for.”  Dixie patted his hand.  “It’s been quite a night.”

“And blood is always a bigger deal when it’s your own.”  Todd lifted the thick piece of gauze he had used to staunch the flow and peeked underneath.  Satisfied that it had slowed enough, he readied his suture needle.

Justin closed his eyes, still ashamed that he wasn’t handling this better.  He kept reminding himself that the reactions which had been manifesting over the past hour were perfectly normal after experiencing emotional and physical stress, but it didn’t seem to be working.  “Let’s just get this over with so I can get out of here.”  When Todd didn’t immediately answer, Justin opened his eyes without looking down at what his boss was doing.  “I am getting out of here tonight, right?”

“Yes, Justin, you’ll be able to go home.”  Todd finished the last suture and peeled off his gloves, depositing them onto the tray.  “But, I want you to go home and rest…not stay here with John all night.”

“Todd…”

Todd was prepared for the protest.  “Look, I just put 18 sutures in your left knee and 14 in your right.  You’re hypotensive…exhausted…”

Not in the mood for an argument, nor in the mood to listen to the rest of this lecture, Justin conceded.  “All right…all right.”  He raised a hand to rub his forehead.  “I really do feel like crap.”

“Kel’s got John drugged into oblivion anyway.”  Todd smiled.  “I’m sure all he’ll do for about the next twelve hours is sleep.”

“Yeah…you’re probably right.”  Justin sighed.

An orderly appeared at the door delivering Justin’s X-rays which Dixie intercepted and handed to Todd who quickly snapped them up onto the light board.

Justin pushed himself up and squinted to see.

Todd finished studying the films, then turned off the light and walked back over to the exam table.  “Your X-rays are all normal, which is what I expected.  Just keep doing what you’ve been doing.  You know the drill…RICE…ROM…”

“Yeah…I know the drill.”

“I could give you an immobilizer to wear for a few days…”

Justin shook his head.  “No…I don’t need one.”

“Okay.”  Todd pulled out his prescription pad and began writing.  “But, I’m writing you a scrip for some Ibuprofen.”  He pointed toward Justin’s shoulder with his pen.  “The sooner we can get that inflammation down, the better.  It’ll help with your knees too.”

“Okay…”  Justin agreed hesitantly.  He knew Camarin’s willow bark tea was also a great anti-inflammatory.  And it didn’t give him heartburn or make him nauseous.

“And…”  Todd pulled off the slip of paper and handed it to his friend.  Then, he started writing again.  “I’m putting you on cephalexin.  Remember to take all of it.”  He handed the second prescription to Justin.  “When was your last tetanus booster?”

Justin was slightly taken aback by the question at first.  “Uh…um…I uh…”

Todd looked up at Dixie, who was uncapping a tube of antibiotic cream, preparing to dress Justin’s wounds.  “Dix?  Get him a tetanus booster, too, before he goes.”  He gave Justin’s good shoulder a pat.  “And, you won’t be starting work on Monday.”

“I won’t?”  Justin sat up a little straighter.  He had every intention of starting back to work at Rampart on Monday as planned. 

“No, Justin, you won’t.”  Todd crossed his arms.  “Give it another week.”

Justin opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it, partly because he knew Todd was right.  But also, he thought about the mess he had to clean up back at the clinic, the house he and Cam were thinking about making an offer on, and the fact that he would have more time to help John and Hannah if he took another week off.  “Okay, you’re right.”

Todd raised an eyebrow, thinking that seemed a little too easy.  But, he said nothing about it.  “Dixie will get you ready to go.  I’m going to send Camarin in with some orange juice and crackers.  And, I want you to finish them and rest here a while before you try to get up.  Got it?”

“Got it.”  Justin agreed with a slight scowl.  He was happy he would be seeing Camarin soon, but he really wanted to go check on John.  But, he was far too exhausted to start that argument right now.  He closed his eyes and was sound asleep before Dixie finished securing the tape on his bandaged knees.

The next thing Justin knew, a soft voice was calling him out of his slumber.  Alto.  Familiar.  He blinked open his eyes, wondering how much time had passed.  “Dix…

“Sorry to wake you.”  The nurse held a syringe in her right hand.  “But, I need to roll onto your side a minute.”

Remembering Todd’s order of a tetanus booster, Justin groaned.  “Aw man, Dix…is that really necessary?”

Dixie smiled.  “Afraid so.  Now, come on.  Let’s get it over with.”

“Just put it in my arm.” 

Dixie sighed and offered a slight roll of her heavily lashed eyes.  “Justin Quinn…it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.  Now come on.  On your side.”

This time, Justin complied, turning onto his side all the while grumbling about Todd’s over cautiousness.

Once Dixie was finished, she deposited the syringe onto the tray.  “There.  Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“What wasn’t so bad?”  Camarin wondered as she entered the room holding two packages of peanut butter crackers and a large cup with a straw.

“Nothing.”  Justin shot a look at Dixie meant as a warning not to say a word.

“Todd couldn’t find any orange juice, so he told me to get you a soda instead.”  Camarin handed the tall cup to her husband.  “It’s 7-up.”

“Thanks.”  Justin took a tentative swallow.  His stomach still wasn’t feeling up to par.

Dixie immediately picked up on Justin’s dilemma.  “Just sip it.  I don’t think Todd will make you finish all of it, but you need to get your blood sugar back up.”

“Yeah…I know…”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”  Camarin found she couldn’t resist touching her husband.  It was as if she needed the reassurance he was actually here in one piece.  “You didn’t tell me you were hurt too.”

“I just cut my knees a little.”  Justin accepted a cracker and took a small bite.  “It’s really no big deal.”

“I don’t consider 32 stitches ‘no big deal,’ Justin.”  Camarin folded back the sheet to get a look, but there wasn’t much to see.  Her husband’s wounds were covered by thick, white bandages.

“Is Hannah in with John?”  Justin suddenly felt an overpowering rush of guilt wash over him like a tsunami.  Even though the rational side of his brain knew that what had happened tonight was a freak accident, the irrational side was telling him it was his fault.  After all, if John hadn’t been at his place, helping him, it never would have happened.  If Justin had cut back the tree limbs that were near the power lines…If…if…

“Yes.”  Camarin handed Justin another cracker.  “I was in for a few minutes too.  He was sleeping.  They’re going to take him up to his room soon.”  She watched Justin’s face carefully and could read exactly what he was thinking.  “He’s going to be fine, Justin.”

“Listen to your wife.  She’s right.”  Dixie gave Justin’s foot a playful squeeze.  “I better get back to work.  Todd will be in with your discharge instructions.”

“He needs to stay here until then, right?”  Camarin asked her nurse and friend.

“Yep.”  Dixie almost laughed as Justin’s scowl returned.  Then, she opened the door to exit and nearly ran into Roy Desoto.  She exchanged a greeting and left the room.

“So…how is the other half of the dynamic duo doing?”  Roy chided as he walked over to the exam bed.

“Dynamic duo?”  Justin raised an eyebrow.  “Cute.”

“He’s doing fine.”  Camarin answered for her disgruntled husband.

“Yeah?  That’s good.”  Roy had already been filled in on the damage to Justin’s knees.  “You don’t have to stay then?”

“Nope.”  Justin stared down at his lap.  Now he was feeling guilty that he could leave when Johnny had to stay.  “Just waiting on my discharge papers.”

Roy couldn’t help but notice Justin seemed a little down in the dumps.  And although he couldn’t blame him, it was a little disconcerting.  After all, Johnny had been incredibly lucky.  And while Roy knew he had a tendency to harbor guilt, he knew Justin normally seemed more likely to look on the bright side of things.  His reticence was a little concerning.  “What happened to Johnny isn’t your fault, you know.  Trouble just seems to have a way of…finding him.”

That comment managed to bring a laugh to Justin’s lips.  “Yeah.  That’s for sure.”  Roy was right.  This was no one’s fault, and Johnny was going to be fine.  A weight seemed to lift and his mood suddenly felt brighter.  “You know…I never was this accident prone before I met John.”

Roy chuckled.  “I tried to warn you.”

All in the room shared a laugh, their spirits buoyed by the realization that the night’s ordeal was over and that everyone involved would be okay.

“I’m gonna go call Joanne.”  Roy informed the others as he opened the door to exit.  “I’ll see you later.”

Once Justin and Camarin were alone in the room, Justin handed his cup over and sat up on the edge of the bed.  He still felt a bit woozy, but nothing like before.

Camarin steadied him with a hand on his shoulder.  “What are you doing?  We’re supposed to wait for Todd.”

“I’m fine, Cam.”  Justin insisted as he stepped off the edge of the bed.  “I want to go check on John and Hannah.”

“John and Hannah are fine.”  Camarin positioned herself in front of her husband, unsure of what she should do.  On the one hand, she wanted to trust him.  On the other hand, she had specifically been told he should stay resting in bed until Todd returned.

Justin hobbled over to the chair where he had been sitting when he had taken off his jeans and shoes.  “Where are my clothes?”  He looked around the room.

“I don’t know…”  Camarin really didn’t know, although she had a fairly good idea.

“I thought I told you to stay in bed.”  Todd Andrews entered the room and was dismayed, though not surprised to find Justin being noncompliant with his orders.

“I’m fine, Todd.”  Justin challenged.  “I ate some crackers.  I drank some soda.  Now, where are my clothes?”

“We’ll talk about that once you get back in bed.”  Todd challenged back.

Justin was becoming angry now.  He was fine to go, and he knew Todd knew it.  This was about power and control now.  “I’m not getting back in bed.”

Camarin was uncomfortable with the tension between the two men.  “Justin, maybe you should just…”

“Cam, Todd’s just playing the ‘boss’ card…”

Todd chuffed.  “I am not playing the boss card.  I’m playing the doctor card.  Dixie is on her way in right now to get another set of vitals and if your BP is back to normal, you can go.  If it’s not, then as your doctor I want you to lie down until it is.”

Justin sighed.  “Todd, this is nuts and you know it.  Would I be walking around like this if…”  He saw Dixie enter the room.  “Where did you put my jeans?”

All it took was one look around the room and the perceptive nurse was able to piece together what was going on.  “They’re in a very safe place.”

“Dix…”  Justin was feeling very ganged up on.

“And you’ll get them back as soon as Todd gives me the word.”  Dixie stared the physical therapist down with arms crossed.

Justin sighed and slunked over to the table.  He knew there was no winning against Dixie when she took on that stance along with that stern tone.  He hoisted himself back up and sat on the edge of the bed, glowering.  “Todd, so help me…”

Todd could only laugh.  “Justin, I am not purposely trying to make your life miserable.  I’m not treating you any differently than I would any other patient…”

“I think that’s the problem, Todd.”  Camarin half whispered in an aside.

“Ahhh…Well sorry, buddy.  I’m not skimping on your care just because you work here.  Nothing but the best for members of the Rampart family.”

Justin sighed.  He knew Todd was doing the right thing.  It’s just that the physical therapist found it hard to stomach being on the receiving end of the attention.  “Sorry, boss…just not good at being a patient, I guess…”

“Yeah, well…none of us are very fond of your being in that position either.”  Todd watched as Dixie inflated, then deflated the blood pressure cuff. 

“118 over 70.”

“Can I go now?”  Justin knew the reading was still a bit on the low side, but it was far from dangerously so.

“You can go.”  Todd handed Camarin her husband’s discharge instructions.  “Don’t get those sutures wet for at least 48 hours.”

“Okay.”  Justin watched as Dixie retrieved his clothing from a cabinet on the far wall of the treatment room.

“And make sure he takes it easy for a few days.”  This direction Todd directed to Camarin, who he figured would have more success keeping the reins on Justin than anyone else.

“I will, Todd.”  Camarin smiled.  “Thanks.”

***

Hannah sat next to Johnny’s bed, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept.  The lump that had formed behind her breastbone when Justin first called was finally beginning to dissipate as she worked hard to remind herself that Johnny was alive and was going to be okay.

She shook off a chill remembering fear that seemed to turn her blood to ice.  She had always heard tales about how profoundly life changed after having children.  But it wasn’t until tonight that Hannah realized just how completely true that was.  And, for the first time, she wondered how she was going to handle being a firefighter’s wife, now that their children, whom Hannah loved more than she ever imagined it possible to love, were in the picture.  She had always considered herself a strong woman.  But the thought of raising Malcolm and McKenna alone, not to mention the notion of having to tell them their Daddy was never coming home again, made her realize she did not possess a fraction of the strength she thought she had.  She looked up at the sound of the door opening and was so relieved at the sight of her older brother, she had to press down the urge to run crying into his arms.

“Hey, Hannah.”  Justin greeted as he walked stiffly into the room, casting a glance at the figure on the bed.  Johnny appeared to be resting comfortably on his right side despite the layers of thick bandages that covered most of his back.  A nasal cannula still supplied him with therapeutic oxygen while a cardiac monitor kept track of his still slightly erratic heart rhythm.  His right hand was wrapped in padded gauze.

One look at Justin as he made his way over to the bed reminded Hannah that he had been injured too.  She stood up and crossed the room to where he was, giving him a hug.  “Thank God you were there.”  Even though Johnny’s heart had never stopped, Hannah found a strange sense of comfort in the fact that someone who was certified in CPR had been with him…just in case.

Justin returned the hug, smoothing his hand down the back of Hannah’s hair.  He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to her gratitude.  After all, it wasn’t as if he had done much.  So, he said nothing.

Finally parting, Hannah regained her composure by finger combing her hair and smoothing her blouse.  “Are you okay?  Roy said you hurt your knees.”

“A few cuts from the glass, but I’ll live.”  Justin pointed toward Johnny’s back.  “Nothing like what John’s dealing with.”

“He’s going to be sore…”  Hannah followed Justin’s gaze.  “But, I’ll take it.”

“Yeah…me too.”

“Where’s Cam?”

“Downstairs talking to Dixie.”

Hannah pointed toward the chair she had vacated.  “You should sit down.”

“No…that’s okay.  I’m not staying.  I just wanted to make sure you both were okay before we go.  Todd seemed to think John would sleep tonight, so Cam and I will be back tomorrow.”  Justin yawned.  Satisfied now that all was well…or at least as well as could be…he was looking forward to getting cleaned up and going to bed.  “Roy said he’s taking you home?”

“Yeah.  The babies are already there with Joanne, so we figured I’d just spend the night there.”  Hannah brushed Johnny’s hair away from his face.  “It’s just….hard to leave, you know?”

“I know.”  Justin walked up behind Hannah and wrapped his arms around her middle.  “But, he’s in good hands.  Besides, your kids need you.”

“Amazing, isn’t it?”  Hannah leaned back against her brother.

“What is?”

“You and me…parents.”

Justin thought of Kaya and Rose.  With each day that passed, it seemed he grew to love them more.  And, although he had been single for almost half a century, he could no longer remember what life without his family felt like.  “Yeah…it sure is.”

The siblings were startled out of their reverie by a stirring on the bed. 

Johnny wasn’t quite sure what had pulled him away from the warm, comfortable place he had just been.  All he knew was that he wanted to return.  But something wouldn’t let him.  His entire back seemed to sting and throb in time with his heartbeat and his hand felt like it was on fire.  He tried to move it away from the source of whatever heat was scorching away at his palm, but it felt awkward and clumsy.  Thinking he was trapped in a fire, he began to panic.

Noticing the rapid increase of the blips on the cardiac monitor, Hannah tried to console her husband.  “Shhh, John it’s me.  You’re at Rampart.”

Hannah’s voice was all Johnny needed to hear.  Instantly the cobwebs began to clear, and he remembered what had happened.  He shifted slightly, in an attempt to find a more comfortable position, but that only pulled at the healing wounds on his back, causing him to moan in frustration.

Justin moved to the end of the bed and picked up Johnny’s chart.  “He’s not due for more pain meds for a couple of hours.”

Hannah tried again to get her husband’s attention.  “John, I’m right here.  What’s wrong?”

Johnny struggled to find the words he was looking for as he moved his legs back and forth under the covers restlessly.  Finally, though, exhaustion and lingering medication won out, and he drifted back to sleep.

“Seems okay now.”  Justin observed the cardiac monitor, relieved that the rate was slowing.

“Yeah…”  Camarin released the breath she was holding, wishing the tension in her neck and shoulders would exit her body along with it.

“He’s bound to be pretty uncomfortable for a few days.”

“Like I said before…”  Hannah adjusted the blankets over Johnny’s once-again sleeping form.  “I’ll take it.”

“I better go.”  Justin offered his sister another quick hug which she gratefully accepted.  “Roy coming for you soon?”

“I’m sure he will be.  See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”  Justin took one last look at his brother-in-law before leaving.  Bandaged…restless…uncomfortable…and alive.

***

 

Two days later, Johnny lay in his bed…bored.  He had sent Hannah home an hour ago, because he was feeling guilty that she was with him and not with the babies.  Roy and Joanne had taken the kids to Disneyland today.  Justin and Camarin were meeting with their realtor, having narrowed their house search down to two possible properties.  Even Chet had other plans today.

The door opened, and Johnny looked up, expecting to see a nurse entering for another barrage of labs or vital signs.  But instead he received a pleasant surprise.  “Cap!”  Upon seeing the friendly face, Johnny’s face lit up and he tried to sit up straighter.

“Hey, pal!”  Hank was relieved to see the junior member of his team appearing much better than he had the last time he had been in to visit him.  “How’s it going?”

“Well…” Johnny yawned and flexed his legs beneath the covers.  “I’m still stuck in this bed, but I suppose all things considered…”

“Yeah.  You gave us all quite a scare.”   Hank moved closer to the bed and shoved his hands into his pockets.  “Again.”

Johnny frowned.  He knew his captain was trying to keep the mood light.  But in truth his words cut to the quick.  Johnny hadn’t had much to do these past few days but think.  And, his mind had drifted back over the past few years and the brushes with death he had.  All beyond his control.  And most unrelated to the dangers of his job.  “Yeah…sorry about that.”

“That wasn’t meant to brook an apology, pal.”  Hank figured he should have known Johnny would take his words to heart.  “It’s just that if my hair gets any grayer I might be forced into early retirement.”

Johnny chuckled softly, not really feeling the humor.  “Right.”

Hank leaned on the bedrail, his tall, lanky frame making him feel like a giant.  “Is something wrong, John?”

Johnny had been about to say no.  The word sat right there on the tip of his tongue, an almost automatic response.  But, the truth was, there was something wrong.  Something terribly wrong.  And the paradox was, it was because his world was finally so perfectly right.  And Johnny had no idea what to do about that.  “Actually yeah, Cap. There is.”

“Oh?”  The response actually surprised Hank.  By now he knew Johnny well enough to know when something was bothering him, but also well enough to know he rarely wanted to talk about it.  “Well, I’m here if you need a set of ears.”

Johnny sighed a huge sigh.  “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Realizing he might be in for a lengthier stay than he had been anticipating, Hank pulled up a chair beside the bed and took a seat.  “How about you start by telling me what’s on your mind?”

Johnny hesitated for a while, seemingly searching for the words to explain among the miniscule fibers of his blanket.  Finally, he looked up into the waiting eyes of his captain.  “You have kids, right?”

The question was so out of left field, Hank almost laughed.  “Last time I checked.”  He tried hard to read Johnny’s face as he struggled for a way to put into words what he was fretting over.  Then a thought occurred to him.  “Wait…I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?”  Johnny’s voice reflected the relief he felt.

“Sure.”  Hank nodded.  “You’ve been thinking about how it would have affected Malcolm and McKenna if something would have happened to you the other night.”

“Man, have I ever.”  Johnny was thankful to have someone to talk to about this.  Someone who understood.  He had touched on it with Roy in the past.  Weighing the dangers of their job with the possible effects on their families.  But, never had it become so real to Johnny as it had since the twins were born.  “And not just that, Cap.  But…I get to thinkin’ about…never getting the chance to see them grow up…to experience all the important things in their lives…to see what they’ll look like when they’re teenagers…”

“John, you’re not experiencing anything that anyone else with children hasn’t experienced at one point or another.”  Hank did his best to reassure.  The truth was, these same thoughts had entered his head on hundreds of occasions.  And not just when he pondered his own mortality.  Every time a response involved a child, Hank couldn’t help but personalize the situation in the same way he figured every other man in the field did as well…picturing the faces of his own children on the faces of the ones they rescued…and worse, on the ones they failed to rescue in time.  Calling from the station just to hear their voices.  And then rushing home the next day to give them hugs that left them wondering what they did to deserve them.  His mind briefly scanned over whether Johnny had given any thought to that side of things yet.  “It’s a profoundly life changing event.”

“You know…”  Johnny continued toying with the blanket, smoothing it between his fingers.  “I’ve always heard people say that.  But, I never realized before how true it is.  I just…well, I…I never thought it was possible to love anyone so much.”

Hank knew exactly what the younger man was talking about.  It was true that no one, no matter what they claimed, could truly know how complete and all-consuming love could be until they had children of their own.  “I know, John.  And it’s normal to be feeling what you’re feeling.”

“But, how do you deal with it, Cap?”  Johnny ran his hand through his hair.  He had already been over everything in his mind at least a hundred times.  He had reminded himself that a person can’t live in fear, that most of his injuries, and indeed, most of the injuries and illnesses he saw on the job on a daily basis, did not occur as a result of work.  Things just happened.  Randomly and seemingly for no rhyme or reason.  And maybe that was what scared him most of all.

“Well, I don’t know that there’s any magic formula for ‘dealing with it.’” Hank took a deep breath as he composed his thoughts.  “But, I know if you think about it too much…if you let it get to you…well, what can I say, John?  I guess mostly I just try not to think about it.  Because there’s nothing any of us can do about it.”

“Now you’re starting to sound like Roy.”  Johnny almost cracked a smile.

“I think I’ll take that as a compliment, pal.”  Hank smiled back.  Then, after a moment or two of silence, he continued.  “Look, John…what you’re going through is normal.  But, you can’t let it control you…”

“Let what control you?”  Justin walked into the room, having overheard Hank’s words on the way in.  Then, realizing it seemed Johnny had been having a serious discussion with his captain, he began to back out.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

“No, it’s okay, Justin.  You can come in.”  Johnny motioned his brother-in-law in with a beckoning gesture.  “We were just talking about having kids and how it…how uh…”

“How it makes you more aware of your own mortality.”  Hank filled in the blanks for his struggling friend.

“Oh, tell me about it!”  Justin seemed relieved this discussion was taking place.  “My mind has been going there a lot lately!  Being married…and being responsible for Camarin and the girls…well, after being single for so long, it’s kinda…mind blowing.”

“It sure is.”  Johnny agreed.

Hank smiled as he stood, happy that Johnny had found someone else who understood his dilemma.  “I’m going to get going.  I told Marie I’d be home in time to help her with dinner.”  He placed a hand on Johnny’s shoulder and gripped it reassuringly.  “Remember what I said, John.  And, if you ever want to talk some more about it…”

Right, Cap.  I know where to find you.”  Johnny looked up at his captain with appreciation.  “Thanks.”

“Anytime, pal.”  Hank started backing away.  “You get plenty of rest so you can get out of here.  I expect to see you back at the station in a few weeks.  Right?”

“Right.”  Johnny watched Hank depart, then turned his attention back to Justin.  “So how are you doing?”  He pointed toward Justin’s knees.

“I’m fine.”  Justin insisted as he took a seat in the chair Hank just vacated.  “Sutures itch like hell, but you know all about that.”

“Yeah…sure do.”  Johnny nodded.  Then, he got back on track with the conversation at hand before it could slip away from him never to be broached again.  “So, you think about it too?  What would happen if something were to happen to you?”

Justin stretched his long legs out in front of him, trying to find a comfortable position that did not pull on his stitches.  “Well, I don’t obsess about it.  But, yeah…I think about it.  I mean…after what happened to you the other night.  That was just a freak accident…”

“Most accidents are.”

“Yeah, I guess you would know that better than most.”  Justin thought for a moment.  “Well, and you know…I’m in my forties now.  As much as I hate to admit it, this is the time when stuff starts happening.  I guess I think more about that now that I’m older.  At least the girls are older too.  I’ll only be 54 when Rose graduates from high school.  That’s younger than Todd.  And, he doesn’t seem old to me…”

“I guess it’s kind of a relative thing.  I remember when I thought forty seemed ancient.”

Justin chortled.  “Yeah, me too.  You’re right.  I guess 58 doesn’t seem so old when you hit 44.”

“Right.”  Johnny agreed.  Then, the room fell silent again.

“I guess it’s always there…in the back of our minds.  And maybe to a certain degree…that’s healthy.”

Johnny nodded.  “Keeps us on our toes.”

“Exactly.”

That realization seemed to make a few pieces of the puzzle fall into place for Johnny.  “Right…sort of a…heightened sense of awareness.”

“Well, as long as you don’t go overboard.  Too much of a good thing…and all that…”

“Right...you can’t be afraid to live your life.”

“But maybe just…tone it down a bit.  Be more aware of potential dangers.  Take care of yourself.”

Johnny shook his head.  “Wow, man…we’re parents now.  Who would have thought it would change us this much?”

“Yeah, but…for the better.”

“What’s that?  You’re doing better?”  Roy stepped into the room.

“Yeah, partner.”  Johnny smiled, casting a knowing glance at Justin.  “A lot better.”

***

Several days later, Justin and Camarin sat at the kitchen table at Johnny and Hannah’s.  They had been going over the pros and cons of the two different properties they had their eyes on, as well as going over the numbers.  One was a modest home in Long Beach, near the clinic, but several blocks from the shore.  The other was a beachfront property on the outskirts of Pacific Palisades, considerably more expensive, but with the ocean view they loved.  The downside, other than the price, was the size.  It only had two bedrooms, and the total square footage was roughly half that of the Long Beach property.

“I think you guys should go with that one.”  Johnny sat at the table sipping some hot tea.  His healing back itched terribly now, and it was actually more comfortable for him to be up in a chair than lying in bed or a recliner.  He had been following Brackett’s orders to rest, though, keeping true to his discussion with Justin about ‘taking care of himself.’  He pointed to the picture of the beachfront home.

Justin sighed and looked over at Camarin.  “As much as I love the beach…I got to live there for a long time.  I have a family to think about now.  A tiny beachfront property was fine when I was single, but…”

“You know I don’t need a lot of space, Justin.”  Camarin reassured.  After all, compared to the tiny home she had on the reservation, almost anything seemed large in comparison.  And ultimately, it didn’t matter to her if they lived in a shack, as long as they were together…happy and healthy.

Justin sifted the two photos back and forth in his hands, pondering for the hundredth time the advantages and disadvantages of each one.  Then, an idea occurred to him.  “Hey, girls!”

Hannah entered the kitchen, shushing her brother.  “I just got the babies to sleep.  Keep it down, will ya?”

“Sorry.”  Justin looked past his sister.  “Where are Kaya and Rose?”

“Right here, papa.”  Rose announced as she led the way into the kitchen.  “We were watching TV.”

Justin pulled Rose into his lap.  “Your mama and I need your help with something.”

“Our help?”  Kaya asked skeptically.  In her experience, grownups rarely, if ever, asked for her help.

“Yep.”  Justin smiled, glancing at Camarin as if to ask her to follow his lead.  “Your mama and I can’t decide between these two houses…”

“You want us to pick?”  Rose looked from one parent to the other excitedly.

“Well…maybe you could help us pick.”  Justin clarified.  “I think this should be a family decision.  After all, we’re all going to have to live there.”

“I don’t know…”  Kaya shook her head.  Unlike her younger sister, she knew a little more about how the world worked.  And where to live was a decision in which children didn’t normally participate.

“Your papa’s right.”  Camarin figured Kaya might come around a bit more easily if she knew her mama supported this decision.  “I think we should all decide on this together.”

“Wow…okay.”  Kaya began looking at the materials on the table. “What are the differences?”

Justin began explaining the differences between the two properties to the girls, but it didn’t take long for Rose to make her decision.  “I wanna live on the beach!”

Kaya rolled her eyes.  “Who wouldn’t?  The point is…that house is a lot smaller.”

“But, we wouldn’t be in the house much!”  Rose protested.  “We’d be out on the beach!  Or swimming in the ocean!”

Justin gave the tiny girl a squeeze and kissed the top of her head.  She was definitely a child after his own heart.  “Think of it like this, munchkin.  This house…”  He pointed to the Long Beach property.  “…has three bedrooms.  That means, you and Kaya could each have your own room.”  Then, he pulled out the other photo, placing it on top.  “This house is a lot smaller.  It only has two bedrooms.”

Rose frowned, realizing finally what this meant.  “Oh.  That means we’d have to share a room.”

“But, we’ve always shared a room.”  Kaya stated.

“Right.”  Camarin smoothed her older daughter’s hair.  “That’s why your papa and I were concerned that maybe you might be happier here…”  She pointed to the larger house.  “So you could each have a space of your own.”

“I don’t need a space of my own.”  Rose insisted.  “I like sleeping in the same room as Kaya.”

Camarin had expected this reaction from Rose.  But since Kaya was older, she wondered if she had a longing for more privacy.  “How do you feel about it, Kaya?”

Kaya thought long and hard, uncomfortable that her vote seemed to be the deciding one.  “Separate rooms would be really nice.  But, I’ve always shared a room with Rose.  And I don’t mind it.  I think I’d rather live on the beach than have my own room.”

“Are you sure?”  Justin thought back to his own teenage years.  There was no way in Hades he would have wanted to share a room with Jonas.  “Whatever place we choose…chances are we’re going to be living in it for a long time…When you girls get older, you might decide you want more space.”

“No…no, I don’t think so.”  Kaya refuted.  “I think…”  She looked around at the adults in the room as if asking silent permission to speak what was on her mind.  But, it was when her eyes settled upon the large, trusting eyes of her little sister that she began to speak.  “Rose and I thank the spirits every day that mama took us in the way she did.  If she wouldn’t have…who knows where we would have ended up.”

“Kaya…”  Camarin wrapped an arm around her daughter.

“And now…”  Kaya looked over at Justin.  “You’ve given us so much.  Back home, we didn’t even have beds to sleep in.  So…it’s okay that Rose and I share a room.  We know how much you and mama love the ocean.  That’s where our house should be.”

The entire room was silent as the selfless words of the young girl seemed to linger in the air.  And in the end, who could argue with her?

Camarin pulled Kaya in close to her and squeezed her tight.  “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, mama.”  Kaya’s voice was strained against the almost suffocating hug.  “But, you know…Rose and I like living on the beach too.  I think it’s a fair trade.”

“I do too!”  Rose squealed excitedly.

“Well then it’s settled!”  Justin exclaimed as he placed the beachfront photo on top of the pile with a definitive smack.  “I’ll call the realtor in the morning.”

Kaya and Rose cheered softly, mindful of the sleeping babies, while Justin and Camarin leaned together for a ‘seal the deal’ kiss.

“This calls for a celebration.”  Hannah announced.  “We don’t have any champagne, but…who wants some lemonade?”

“Me!”  Called a chorus of voices.

“You know…”  Justin rubbed his scruffy goatee thoughtfully.  “I have an idea…”

“What’s that?”  Camarin wondered as she got up to help Hannah with the drinks.

Justin looked at the girls.  “We could get you two a really far out set of bunk beds…”

“Really?”  Rose exclaimed.

“Or maybe…”  Justin rethought his idea.  After all, Kaya might be a little old for bunk beds.  “Maybe John and I could build you a loft.”

“A what?”  Kaya’s nose crinkled.  She had no idea what Justin was talking about.

“A loft!”  Justin announced.  “We could build your beds up near the ceiling.  And that would leave more room on the floor for other furniture.  The bedrooms have skylights.  You could lie up there and look up at the stars…”

“That sounds neat!”  Kaya was getting into this discussion now.

“Oh, my…”  Hannah sounded slightly less enthused.  “Shall we just put a squad on standby when you two embark on this project?”

Johnny sneered at his wife.  “Very funny.”

“I think I’m with Hannah…”  Camarin sat a glass of iced tea down in front of her brother.  “I don’t know if it’s safe for you two to play together anymore…”

“We’ll be careful.”  Justin insisted, accepting his lemonade from his sister.  “Besides, how hard could it be…?”

***

Three months passed.  Johnny returned to work at the station and thanks to Dr. Yun’s interventions, he found he was able to work full shifts again without too much difficulty.  Sure, there were the occasional days where his hip reminded him it wasn’t what it had been prior to his hit and run accident, but overall, his chronic pain was managed and life returned to normal.  Or rather…as normal as it got with twins in the house.

Justin had returned to work also.  And while it was somewhat challenging to balance working full time at Rampart with his new duties at the clinic while giving much needed attention to his wife and daughters, he had never been happier in his life.  Settlement on the new house had happened a month ago, and Camarin was having fun decorating the new place.  Justin and Johnny had built the loft, as promised, for the girls.  And, they were having the time of their lives plastering the walls with psychedelic posters while dancing to tunes on their new stereo.

This particular day had been an exceptionally busy one for Justin.  He had to stay overtime at Rampart and there were things he needed to take care of at the clinic.  After a call to Camarin to let her know she shouldn’t expect him until morning…that he would probably just work at the clinic and then sleep there tonight…he exited the building and made his way through the employee parking lot to where his Mercedes was parked.

***

James Lacour deftly lit the cigarette that hung from his dry lips as he watched his mark from his position in the parking lot.  He had figured the man was well off ever since he learned he worked at the hospital as a physical therapist.  But as he watched him duck into his dark colored Mercedes, his eyebrow hiked in appreciation.  Waiting until the pricey vehicle was backing out of its space, James flicked what was left of his cigarette onto the asphalt and snuffed it out with the heel of his hiking boot.  Then, he slid into the driver’s seat of the old Pinto he had borrowed from his friend back home and began following, all the while keeping enough distance to go unnoticed.

***

Justin sat on the tall stool at the counter in the clinic waiting room.  His vision blurred with the numbers he had been going over for the past few hours and it was time for a stretch.  He stood up and walked over to the large glass windows in front of the building and pulled down the fabric blinds, even as an inexplicable, and seemingly irrational feeling of being watched passed over him, giving him a chill.  Then, he walked down the hall to the refrigerator in the therapy room, in search of something to drink.

James sat in his Pinto, half a block from the clinic.  He checked the safety on the small handgun for about the hundredth time, making sure it was on.  He had no intention of actually showing the weapon, but in his life, James had learned always to expect the unexpected.  Money.  That’s all he needed.  Enough to pay off his debt and he would be on his way.  It sounded easy enough.  But, as the minutes clicked by into hours, James began wondering if he could go through with his plan.  After all, he had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to say it.  Or worse yet, how it would be received.

Justin found a bottle of Coke and popped it open before returning to the reception area.  Several large boxes lined one wall of the hallway…supplies that needed to be put onto shelves.  But, that could wait until after he’d finished balancing the books.  He again mounted the stool and took a long, satisfying swig of his soda.  He was startled by the ringing phone.

James went over his plan in his head.  A week ago when he had been talking to Danny, it had seemed so straightforward and simple.  Now, the hour was upon him, and for a brief moment, he thought he had talked himself out of it.  He had even turned the key in the Pinto’s ignition, preparing to just leave Los Angeles and forget the whole thing.  But, then he thought about Ben.  He would kill him if he didn’t come up with the money he owed him.  James was certain that he would.  Ben had made that fact abundantly clear.  No, he needed to do this.  He wanted to do it.  It had been too long already.

Justin picked up the receiver.  “Hello, New Horizons.”

“Justin, it’s me.”

“Oh hi, Cam.”  Justin melted at the sound of his wife’s voice.  He longed to be home with her now, getting ready to fall asleep beside her, but he had too much work to do.  Someday, eventually, he would be able to cut back on his hours at Rampart.  Then, things would be different.  But, until then… “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.  Just missing you.”

“I miss you too.”  Justin twirled the caramel colored liquid around in its bottle.  “Wish I could be there, but…”

“I know…I just wanted to say good night.”

“Okay.  I’ll be home first thing in the morning.”  Justin promised.  “Good night.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”  Justin hung up, thus severing the connection.  He took another swallow of his Coke and realized it tasted bitter now.  Then, he went back to his paperwork.  A moment later he was startled by a knock on the door.  After his heart slowed, he walked over, moved the blind aside, and strained to see who was there.  A tall man with shoulder-length blondish hair stood on the front step.  He looked to be about 30.  And Justin didn’t recognize him.  “Sorry!  Closed!”  Justin pointed to the sign on the door as he raised his voice to be heard through the glass.

James fingered the gun in the pocket of his jacket.  Then, he knocked again.  “Please let me in!  I need help!”

Justin eyed the young man warily.  He looked a little down on his luck maybe, but he didn’t appear to be injured in any way.  Still, there was a sign on the front of the building that said ‘clinic.’  Maybe the guy was sick or had a loved one who was.  Reluctantly, Justin opened the door and was surprised when the man pushed his way past him.  “What can I do for you?”

James stammered nervously.  “I…I uh…need to talk to you.”  Just say it.  Just tell him.

Caution bells began sounding in Justin’s head.  Something about this man wasn’t right.  He seemed far too jumpy and nervous to simply be here in search of help.  “What about?  Who are you?”

James looked around the small room as if the walls would supply him the right words to say.  His mouth suddenly felt like it had been stuffed with cotton despite the sweat that poured off his body.  There was so much he wanted to say.  So much he needed to ask.  And then his gaze settled on a picture on the counter.  It was a picture of Justin…smiling...his arm around a beautiful dark haired woman, flanked by two pretty young girls.  James’ mind ambled to years spent on the street, struggling for every scrap.  Nights spent in cold, damp jail cells.  He kept his eyes fixated on that picture, a picture that represented everything he should have been able to have, but had been denied.  And that was when anger took over.  Impulsively, and seemingly outside his control, he pulled the gun out of his pocket and aimed it at the tall man standing in front of him.

“Whoa!”  Justin took a step back, instinctively raising his hands in front of his body.  He couldn’t help but notice this young man’s hand was shaking.  Not a good thing.  It was clear he was a loose cannon that could go off at any second.  Snippets of his conversation with John a few months back flitted through his memory as he tried to push away thoughts of a uniformed officer standing at the door of the beach house informing Camarin and the girls he had been shot.  Figuring this man had seen the clinic sign, and was likely after drugs, Justin floundered for the right words to say so as not to further anger him and set him off.  “Hey, man…take it easy…If it’s drugs you’re after, I don’t have any.  It’s not that kind of clinic.”

“I’m not here for drugs.”  James thought his voice sounded too jittery and he fought to control it.  Why was this so hard?  It wasn’t as if he’d never held anyone up before.  He tried to make eye contact with Justin, but for some reason he couldn’t.  And he cursed himself.  That was the cardinal rule.  Let him know who’s in control.  Have to make eye contact.  But, he just couldn’t do it.  “I need…money.”

There was a time Justin might have tried to play the hero, might have tried to talk the man down, try talking some sense into him.  But, that was before he had become a husband and father.  Now, those tactics seemed foolish at best.  He reached into his back pocket for his wallet.  “Here…take what you want…”

“Keep both hands where I can see ‘em!”  James was shouting now, his voice rising in pitch.  He cursed himself again for sounding so out of control.

“Okay…okay…”  Justin again placed his hands out in front of his body, in clear view.

James kept the gun trained on Justin as he began making his way over to where he was standing, intending to relieve the man of his wallet.  But then, what would be the point?  Unless Justin kept several grand on his person, it wasn’t going to help his situation with Ben.  “You got a safe around here?”

“Yeah…but there’s nothing in it.”  Justin hoped he hadn’t just signed his own death certificate, but it was the truth.  “I just took everything to the bank today.”

“You’re lying.”

Justin canted his head toward the hallway.  “I’ll open it up for you.  You can see for yourself.”

“Oh, no…”  James was well aware that he had total control of this situation right now.  If he allowed Justin to lead him down some dark hallway, those odds could change.  He thought of the Mercedes parked outside.  All he had to do was get it back home.  Danny knew people who could fix the tags.  Then, all they had to do was sell it…

“Look, my wallet is all I have.”  Justin hoped the guy would just take it and leave.  “Just take it.  I’ve got a family.  I don’t want any trouble.”

What Justin didn’t realize was that mentioning the word ‘family’ would send his unwanted visitor into an inexplicable rage. In the next heartbeat, the entire left side of his face exploded into the worst pain imaginable as the cold, hard steel of the handgun made brutal contact. 

Justin’s body was propelled completely around as he was nearly lifted off his feet by the force of the pistol whipping.  He landed hard on his right side with a lung deflating thud, but he was unconscious before he hit the floor.

James stood shocked for a moment at what he had done.  As he watched Justin’s body fall to the tile, a strange sort of melancholy tried to break through the anger which propelled him to act.  But, a quick reminder of the hardships that had littered his life and another glance at the picture on the counter turned any residual empathy into hatred.  Before he could stop himself, he lifted his foot and stomped down hard on Justin’s left flank.  Once.  Twice.  Three times.  Until he could feel and hear bone crunching beneath his boot and knew for certain the other man would not get up and follow him.  Might not ever get up again.  Then, he pointed the handgun squarely at Justin’s head, his shaking finger on the trigger.  It was time to assure there would be nobody to tie him to this crime.

But he couldn’t do it.  James lifted the gun to his forehead, smacking it in anguish over his sudden weakness.  He had always been convinced he had it in him to kill if it ever came to that.  Up until now, it never had.  And now when faced with the task, he couldn’t do it.  Frustrated and desperate to get out of town, he grabbed Justin’s wallet out of his back pocket and hurriedly tore apart the place looking for anything portable of value, but he came up empty handed.  Finally, he found the keys to Justin’s Mercedes in the front pocket of his jeans, and he made for the door, taking one final look back, thinking about what he might have done differently, cursing himself for thinking he’d stood a chance.  At last, James raised the gun and took aim at the picture of the smiling family on the counter, finally squeezing off an ear splitting round that completely shattered the image.  Then, he took off in the Mercedes, his vision blurred by tears.

***

Blood.  Congealed.  Metallic.  Justin wasn’t quite sure why he could both taste and smell the bitter substance.  In fact, he wasn’t really sure about anything.  He cracked his eyes open and saw only gray in front of his eyes.  Or rather…eye.  For some reason one of them didn’t seem to be working right.

He had heard about migraines.  Unclear images passed through his memory which made him think he should know what to do for one.  But, he never got migraines.  But, if that were true…why did his head feel as though it would literally split in two?  One thing Justin did know for certain was that this pain in his head was unlike anything he had ever imagined…or ever wanted to imagine.  He closed his eyes and willed the incessant throbbing to cease.  But, it didn’t.  It only seemed to get worse.

He needed to call Todd.  Suddenly that thought entered his consciousness like a blinking neon sign.  But, why?  Oh, that’s right.  There was no way he would be able to work today with this headache.  That was unfortunate.  Justin couldn’t remember ever calling off before.  But today he would have to.  Todd would understand.

His bed felt unnaturally hard this morning.  And he hardly ever slept in this position.  Odd.  Justin tried pushing himself up and was stopped by searing agony that spread through his entire left side.  That must be why he never slept like this.  The pain in his head temporarily forgotten, he laid back down.  If he couldn’t get out of bed, how was he going to get to the phone?  He closed his eyes.  He would worry about that later…

When he cracked open his right eye again, he saw something.  Was that a phone cord?  Right there in front of his face.  Justin reached out with one shaking hand and pulled on it, bringing the phone down to his level with a loud clang.  He pulled it closer to himself then, unsure of what he was doing or why he needed a phone.  He righted the desktop instrument, replaced the receiver and stared at the lighted dial until it seemed to blur and his eyelids grew heavy.  He had no idea now why he had this phone or what to do with it.  He was tired.  He closed his weighted lids and went to sleep.

“Todd?”  Justin awoke, his heart racing so fast he could literally feel blood coursing through his veins.  The word stuck in his throat and his mouth felt full.  He began to spit and that awoke totally new sensations.  This was no ordinary headache.  His entire skull throbbed in time with his rapid heartbeat, and his left cheek felt as if some creature had latched on and was crawling around, its claws digging in with sharp, piercing jags.  For some crazy reason, it hurt to swallow, and his saliva, which seemed to keep pooling uncontrollably, tasted sanguine and tinny.  He raised a hand to his aching head.  No, aching wasn’t quite the right word.  This pain was all-consuming.  He needed to call Todd.  He couldn’t work like this.  He saw the phone in front of him without giving thought to why it was there.  He didn’t remember pulling it off the desk.  His fingers fumbled over the numbers until finally he heard ringing.

Todd Andrews rubbed the fatigue from his eyes.  He had been ready to go home hours ago when Justin did, but then an unexpected consult in the emergency department had stifled those plans.  Fueled by the adrenaline a good trauma case could still pull out of him, he knew he would never fall asleep, so he figured he would make good use of the temporary energy surge by catching up on some charts.  But now it was getting late.  He would finish this last chart and call it a night.

The phone rang, causing Todd to curse and slap his pen down onto the desk.  Not another consult.  Not tonight.  He picked up the receiver.  “Andrews.”

Justin wasn’t sure why, but relief seemed to flood over him at the sound of his superior’s voice.  He lay there with the receiver to his ear, waiting for him to speak again.

At this hour, Todd certainly was not in the mood for games.  He would give the caller one more chance, but if he did not identify himself this time, he was hanging up.  “Hello?”

It took some time for Justin to form the word.  He was frustrated.  It was as if his mouth had forgotten how to talk.  “T-Todd…”

Todd switched the receiver to the other ear.  He couldn’t make out who was calling.  “Yes, this is Todd.  Who am I talking to?”

What did he mean?  Didn’t he recognize his voice?  “J-Justin…”

Something was not right.  This surely didn’t sound like Justin.  Not at all. “Justin?  Is that you?”

“It’s…Justin…”  For a moment, Justin forgot why he was calling. Then, it came back to him.  “I…I uh…won’t be at…at work t-today.”

The words were a bit slurred.  Todd began making mental notes.  “What’s wrong, Justin?  Are you sick?”  He had been fine when he left here several hours ago.

“Headache…”  Justin tried to swallow his increasing saliva, but his mouth wouldn’t do what he wanted it to, and besides, it hurt like hell.  So, he spit again, and quickly realized that was not a better alternative as pain tore through his face.  He groaned.  “Won’t be…in today.”

Todd listened to the sounds on the other end of the line as alarm bells went off in his head.  “You mean tomorrow?”

What the hell was Todd talking about?  “Today…jus’ woke…up.”

“Justin, you only left here a few hours ago.”  Todd was beginning to catalogue all the possible reasons for Justin’s apparent confusion.  “Is Camarin there?”  Surely she wasn’t.  Todd imagined she would have been the one to call if that were the case.

“C-Cam…”  Justin was becoming more frustrated now and considered breaking the connection.  He only wanted to call off sick.  Why was Todd making this so hard?  “Who…?”

That cinched it.  Justin was definitely altered in some way.  “Justin, listen to me.  I need you to tell me where you are.”

Why the hell did he need to know that?  “H…home…”

“No…”  Todd tried to keep his voice even and calm.  “No, I don’t think you are.  Try again.  Look around.  Tell me what you see.”

“I…I uh…”  Justin was finding it more and more difficult to process what Todd was asking him.  “Head hurts…”

Todd had to resist the urge to pound his fist in frustration.  Think.  Did Justin say what he was doing tonight?  Think…think…think.  Yes, he did.  He said he was going over to do some work at the clinic.  He had called Camarin before he left to tell her he wouldn’t be home tonight.  “Okay, Justin.  I want you to do something for me.”  There was no response.  “Justin, if you can hear me, I’m coming over.  Okay?  I want you to stay put.  Don’t move, okay?”

Again, there was no response.

Todd slammed down the receiver.  “Damn it!”  He grabbed his jacket and started for the door before a thought occurred to him.  Camarin.  She was likely at home.  He thought about calling her. Finally, he decided against it.  There was no sense worrying her until he had some answers.  The surgeon locked up and hurried downstairs.

Justin was tired of listening to Todd’s voice.  He allowed the receiver to fall out of his hand as his good eye closed again. 

***

Part 8