A Delicate Situation
"Man, I hate these unknown rescues!" Johnny grumbled on the way to the scene. "Just what can a housewife do to get herself trapped?"
"We’ll find out in a minute, Junior!" Roy said as he whipped the squad into the driveway.
Johnny jumped out, grabbing the biophone. He was the first to run into the house, finding the woman in the living room. She turned, covering herself the best she could. Johnny’s mouth dropped open, as he witnessed the discomfort of the petite woman.
"Ma’am?" Johnny walked over, looking at her predicament. "Just how did you do this?"
"How do you think I did it? These vacuums have a mind of their own! I was just bending over, vacuuming out the corner with the hose, when Wham!" she called out, causing Johnny to jump. "It got me!"
"It got you?" Johnny gulped, hearing Roy coming in.
"Just like that! Now, I can’t get it off!"
"You can’t get it off?"
"That’s what I said! So I called you! Please get this thing off of me!"
"Did you try pulling on it?" Johnny asked, as he looked at the end of the hose.
"Of course I tried pulling it off! Please, help me!" she whined.
"What do you have, Johnny?" Roy asked, stopping short as he ran into the living room.
"Ahhh, Roy! She’s really stuck!"
"So get her out!" Roy shot back.
Johnny blushed as he looked at the forlorn housewife, with his face growing redder by the minute. "Ahh…ma’am…" he stammered, positioning his hands in about three different spots, reluctant to take hold. "I…uhh…I’m really not…"
"Johnny, what’s keeping you?" Roy said, coming in with the drug box. "Do you need the Jaws of Life?"
"No, I don’t need the Jaws of Life! Roy, did you see where she’s stuck?"
"Oh," Roy blushed, looking over. "Guess you don’t need the jaws!"
‘Roy, how am I going to pull this thing off?"
"Better yet, how are you going to pull that…thing out?" Roy wheezed, taking a step back, leaving Johnny on his own.
"Hey, maybe there’s a reverse which we can plug the hose into. We can blow her out!" Johnny said, his face brightening a bit.
"Sorry, Junior, but it’s an upright, not a canister. You have to use your hands."
"I have to use my…hands." Johnny sighed, looking like a whipped puppy dog. "Sorry honey…NO! NOT HONEY!…I didn’t mean that! I’m sorry, ma’am," Johnny said as he placed his hands on either side of her breast, pulling gently on the hose.
"Roy, it’s not going anywhere!" Johnny said, frustrated.
"Well, here! Take this!" Roy held out a tube from an IV."
"Oh, thanks. I suppose I’m the one who has to blow into the end too, right?" Johnny grimaced.
"Hey, I’m a married man!" Roy tried to hide his smile.
Johnny took the hose, with Roy coming up behind him, straining his neck to see as he leaned over Johnny’s shoulder. "Do you mind?" Johnny frowned up at him.
"Just giving you a little moral support!" Roy grinned back, reveling in Johnny’s predicament.
Johnny blushed again as he inserted the tube. Placing the other end in his mouth, he blew hard, hearing a loud pop as the end of the vacuum let loose. Johnny stared…his mouth wide open…as the woman pulled her shirt around her quickly.
"Uh, sorry ma’am," Johnny stammered, as his face grew redder than a tomato. "Are you alright?"
"I’m fine! Guess this will teach me to wear a bra the next time I vacuum!" she laughed.
"That might be a good idea," Johnny mumbled as he bent to pick up the biophone.
"Johnny, you better check for some injury to her…"
"Roy, I got the hose off, you check for any injuries!"
"That’s alright! I’m fine! Really!" the woman blushed. "Thanks for getting me out of that thing!" she said, as she led the men to the door.
~ The End ~
I want to thank my good friend and her near mishap with the vacuum today!
Copyright February 22, 2000
The author asked her real name and email address not be used for various personal reasons and I wanted to respect that. Send any feedback to Audrey W. and I'll pass it along. :o)