Differential Diagnosis

Johnny stayed at the side of the stretcher as it was wheeled from the ambulance through the automatic doors of the ER. The ten year old boy lying on the stretcher kept up the litany that had started at the scene and had not stopped since.

"It really wasn't my fault. She pushed me for sure. I mean, you know she pushed me, right? No one's gonna believe it cause nobody else saw it, but she pushed me. If she hadn't of pushed me, I wouldn't have fallen and broken that statue, cause that's what happened. I was just standing there, minding my own business, standing next to that statue and she came along and just pushed me."

Johnny had stopped responding about ten minutes into the ambulance ride. He just nodded and said, "Uh huh."

Dixie joined them at the in the hallway, "Treatment 2. Joe's on his way." Dixie looked at the splint on the boy's left arm. She hadn't been at the call station when 51 had called it in, but the lack of an IV and Johnny's wearied expression told her it wasn't anything serious. "What happened to this young man, Johnny?"

"Well, Dix, it seems that Phillip here did a header into a rather large statue of something or other. It fell down and broke his arm."

"Oh, come on, man, that's not what happened. I told ya, I was standing there, just minding my own business when she came along and pushed me into the statue. I would never have been foolin' around near that statue. I know better than that. My mother loves that statue. It belonged to my great great grandmother or someone like that. You know this wasn't my fault. She came right up. I even told her to slow down and stop foolin around near the statue. Yup, I forgot before that I said that, but I remember it now. I said, 'Stacey, be careful near Mom's favorite statue,' but she just didn't pay attention and came up and pushed me right over into that statue."

"I take it, the statue was code F?" Dixie grinned at Johnny who was rolling his eyes and nodding. Dixie helped Phillip scoot over to the exam table and asked him, "Did Stacey get hurt too?"

"Naw, she always gets off clear and free. She's like Teflon. Nothin sticks to her."

"Is Stacey your sister?" Phillip nodded. "Well," Dixie said, "you know sometimes big sisters are like that. They seem to get away with things, but you know, in the end, it all evens out."

"Ah, Dix, Stacey isn't his big sister."

"But he just said…"

"He said sister, but not big."

"How old is Stacey?"

Johnny looked at Phillip, raising his eyebrows in a question. Phillip sulked for a moment before telling Dixie that his sister, who had been to blame for all this because she pushed him into the statue, was a year old.

"Cute little one," John told Dixie. "She just took her first steps a few days ago. I suppose, with just the right leverage and the element of surprise it might be possible, but if I were you, Phil, I'd start working on another strategy to make this right with your mom. Blaming it on Stacey will probably only get you into trouble for lying as well as breaking the statue."

Joe Early entered the room and asked gently, "So young man, what happened here?"

Johnny jumped in before Phillip could start again. "I gotta go, Doc. Phil here can give you all the details. His Mom was going to drop his sister at a sitter down the street then follow us in. She should be here any minute. We got permission to treat at the scene. Good luck."

Johnny ducked out the door just as Phil started his revised story for the doctor's benefit, now blaming the accident on his attempts to get his sister away from the precious statue. Well, you've got to admire his tenacity, Johnny thought as he joined Roy and Doctor Brackett near the call station.

"I see you survived your ride with your talkative young friend," Roy said as Johnny approached the two men.
        
Johnny shrugged. "He dropped the dog story right after we got in the ambulance. Now it's the sister's fault. First she pushed him into it, but now she tipped it over."

"Sounds like Jennifer when she's caught red handed. But she eventually comes around to the truth. So, Johnny," Roy said, changing the subject, "Doctor Brackett was just telling me about a conference he and Dix are going to next week. I'm so jealous."

"Oh yeah, Doc? So what's the subject?"

"It's on the newest research on liver disease and substance use."

Johnny made a face at Roy and said, "And you're jealous? You gotta get out more, Roy."

"I don't think it's so much the what as the where that has him jealous, Johnny," Brackett said grinning widely.

"Okay, so where are you going, Vegas?"

"Hawaii! For two weeks. The conference lasts a week, then we are staying for another week's vacation."

"What I want to know," Roy interjected, "is how come paramedics have their conferences in Sacramento and doctors get to go to Hawaii?"

Johnny's mind had traveled in a totally different direction. "So, Doc, you and Dix together for two weeks in Hawaii, huh? The two of you an item again?"

"I wondered who would be the first one to bring that up," Brackett groaned. "I should have figured it would be Romeo himself here. No, we aren't 'an item again.' We always have been and always will be good friends and colleagues. This is a business trip, pure and simple. We have separate hotel rooms and everything."

"Sure Doc. I understand. Just a business trip to the most romantic place in the world with a beautiful woman with whom you just happened to once be romantically involved…"

Roy jumped in quickly. "Johnny, give it a rest. Doc, how did you manage to pull off two weeks away from here, especially both you and Dix at the same time?"

"I found a replacement, Dr. Pete Walters. He was a resident here in the ER about 10 years ago when I was the new chief attending. He went on to work at Memorial up in San Francisco. He helped get their paramedic program off the ground a few years ago. I found out he was coming back to Los Angeles and he agreed to pull a stint here before he starts his new assignment at All Saints next month. You guys will really like him. He's smart, energetic, great with the patients and staff and likes working with the men in the field. You won't even miss me."

"So that's why you arranged to have Dix go with you. Couldn't take the competition, huh? He sounds like quite a guy," Johnny teased.

"I'm sure his wife and three children think so, Johnny. Now, get out of here, you two. I have to get back to my patients. I'm not on vacation yet. Oh, and Roy?"

"Yeah, Doc?"

"Try to keep your partner's mind on his work and out of the gutter."

Roy couldn't resist. "Yeah, Doc, I'll try. But, you know, you and Dixie, together in Hawaii, on the beach, no work, no pressure …"

Brackett groaned, "Why do I bother? I'll see you guys later." He headed into his office as the paramedics returned to the squad.

 

The paramedics' next visit to the ER was far less jovial. A fire in a rooming house had left two children dead, one a baby who died in Johnny's arms as he was carrying her from the burning building. Efforts to resuscitate her continued in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but she was pronounced shortly after her arrival at Rampart. The other victim, the baby's five year old brother, died right after being moved from the ER to the burn unit. His body was just too small and the burns too extensive. Their mother, an addict who passed out while smoking, escaped without injury.

Roy and Johnny were still in the ER when Brackett came down from the burn unit with the bad news about their second victim. Johnny was being treated for smoke inhalation after having used his mask to try and save the baby girl. Uncharacteristically he had agreed without complaint to be checked out by Morton, not saying a word during the process. Brackett found the two men with Morton in treatment room 4.

"How is he?" Brackett asked Mike Morton, placing a hand on Johnny's shoulder.

"He's ready to go back on duty."

It was Roy who spoke next. Johnny said nothing. "So, Doctor Brackett, what's the kid's chances?"

"I'm sorry, guys. He didn't make it." Brackett looked at the men closely, knowing that they would take the news hard. Johnny bit his lip and looked away. Roy just looked at the floor. It was tough enough losing one, but to lose two kids in one day… "Come on, partner," Roy said, suddenly needing to escape the hospital. "We better get our supplies and get back to the station. It's my turn to cook."

Johnny nodded. "Thanks, Doc," he said to Morton, not looking him or Brackett in the eye. He said nothing else all the way back to the station.

 

The rest of the shift had been quiet. No more calls, which would have been a welcome relief except that it meant more time to think about the fire and its tragic outcome. With the shift change, the usual invitations to eat breakfast together were forgone and each man headed off on their own, no one stating what each of them knew. It would be a few days before they would be ready to talk about this. Until then, it was easier to be alone.

Roy and Johnny didn't speak to each other during their days off. On Wednesday morning, Johnny beat Roy to the station and was already getting dressed when Roy arrived.

"Hey Roy, how did it go yesterday? Did you get the new tires for your car?"
        
"Yeah, I couldn't believe how much they cost, but it's not like I had a choice. How about you? I called you once yesterday but you weren't home. Jennifer was begging me to invite you over to see her new doll."

"Oh, man, and I missed that? To think I gave up the opportunity to have a tea party just so that I could go backpacking for a couple of days." Johnny grinned. "When you talk to her later, tell Joanne to tell the little pumpkin that I'll come see her new doll soon."

"So, did the time in the mountains help?"

"I guess. The fresh air, the exercise, the solitude, it all helps me refocus I guess. How about you? You doing okay?"

Roy shrugged. "I wouldn't let the kids out of my sight. I think that's why Jenny wanted you to come over. I think she was thrown when I agreed to play dolls with her. Then, of course, I did nothing right. All I kept hearing was, 'Uncle Johnny does it this way.' I don't know how you do it with her. I try to let myself just get into the make believe, but I just can't do it."

And that was it. Each had asked. Each had said they were okay. There was no further talk of the fire or of the children who didn't survive.

 

"You're nuts, Gage. Absolutely crazy."
        
"Don't hold back, Chet, tell me what you really think."

Marco offered his opinion on the topic at hand. "I think it's nice. Friends do nice things for each other. I mean, anyone of us would do the same thing for Johnny, right?"

Roy nodded but the rest hesitated. All but Chet, he showed no hesitation at all.

"Not me. No way. You could not pay me enough to offer to drive someone to LAX, never mind pick them up again when they got home. Friendship is all well and good, but airports and help moving are things you only ask your very best friends to do. And then, if they are sane, they run away screaming. Do you know how long you could be stuck waiting for a plane to arrive, never mind the time waiting for luggage and then the traffic getting there and getting home? It will take all day."

"Chet, you are amazing." Johnny shook his head. "You wouldn't hesitate to rush into a burning building to help any one of us, but you wouldn't drive me to the airport? Besides, they didn't ask, I offered. It would cost a fortune for Brackett and Dix to leave a car at the airport garage. They were going to leave a car at the hospital then take a cab, but that's expensive too, and no one wants to deal with all that when they get back from vacation. This works much better. Brackett leaves his car in Roy's driveway. I'll drive them to the airport, then when they get back, I'll just pick them up and bring them back to Roy's to get their car."

"So if they're leaving their car at Roy's, why doesn't Roy just drive them?"

"You know, Chet, you're making a big deal out of nothing," Roy answered. "They're leaving the car at my place because there's no good place for them to park at Johnny's apartment. And I'm not driving them because it was Johnny who offered. But if I had thought of it, I would have offered."

Chet was not about the let it go. "Yeah, but Roy, don't you think…"

There was no time for further comment. "Station 51, boy down. 789 Maple, cross street Pine."

Maple Street should have been a 5 minute run from Station 51. But a water main had broken and the major thoroughfare was shut down due to flooding.

"I don't believe this!" Johnny cursed as their sirens blasted and the squad and engine tried to maneuver onto a side street. "The DPW is suppose to tell us when a road is shut down! If we had known a mile back we could have just gone down South Street. I swear, Roy, do they think we want to know about the streets just so that we can get home to dinner on time?"

There was nothing that Roy could add to the comments, so he said nothing. Johnny was right. The DPW had screwed up on this one and they were going to take 10 extra minutes to get to the scene, if not more. Roy shook his head and laughed under his breath.

"What is the world is funny about this?" Johnny asked in bewilderment.

"Oh, nothing. Sorry. I was just thinking that whoever Captain Stanley talks to at the city about this will never know how lucky he is that he's talking to Cap instead of you."

"Yeah, well, sure, that's right. Cause if I ever got my say…"

"What?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't know what would happen if I ever got my say. But I would still like to someday."

"Well, if you ever do, let me know. I want to be there to listen."

It took them 18 minutes to get to the scene. A woman met them out front, urging them to hurry.

"What's the problem, miss?"

"It's Freddy. He can't breath. He has asthma and I'm not sure what happened. We think he got into the peanut butter. He's allergic. He knows better, but he's only five."

"Are you his mother?" Roy asked as he and Johnny followed her with the oxygen tank, drug box, and bio-phone.

"No, his mother is with him. This is my house. He was here playing with my daughter. She knows he can't have peanut butter, and we even keep it out of reach most of the time, just in case Freddy comes over. But today, I guess I forgot to put it away after I made lunches this morning."

Roy and Johnny entered the family room and found the young boy gasping for air. His lips were blue and his neck was visibly expanding with each breath. His mother was holding him in a sitting position, urging him to take slow, steady breaths. The wheezing was audible from across the room.

Roy knelt down in front of Freddy and his mother. "Hi Freddy, I'm Roy and this is my partner Johnny. Sounds like you're having a little trouble breathing, huh? We're going to put this oxygen on you right now and see if that helps, okay?" Freddy nodded, unable to speak. His mother, out of Freddy's line of vision, cried silently and mouthed, "Please help him." Roy just nodded.

Johnny contacted Rampart while Roy started to get the boy's vitals and prepared an epi shot.

"Rampart, this is squad 51. How do you read?" The voice on the other end of the line was one that Johnny did not recognize.

"This is Rampart. We read you loud and clear. Go ahead, 51."

"Rampart, we have a five year old boy who is having an asthma attack possibly as a result of ingesting peanut butter about 25 minutes ago. He is cyanotic. Respirations are 14 and labored with audible wheezing in the bronchi and decreased breath sounds in both lungs. He has used his Alupent inhaler with no results. We have him on two liters of O² and have the epi ready to go."

"51, administer two more puffs Alupent and one amp epi then get me a full set of vitals."

"10-4, Rampart."

"Freddy," Roy explained to both the boy and his mother, "the doctor wants us to give you a shot that's going to help you breath better. This is going to pinch, but then you'll feel better soon." Freddy did not acknowledge Roy. His mother pleaded, "Please hurry. He's never been this bad."

Roy administered the epi and assisted the boy in again using his inhaler, then quickly got the rest of the vitals, which he called into the hospital. Roy heard the ambulance and looked up, momentarily surprised to see Captain Stanley in the room. He had almost forgotten that the engine had responded with them. "Cap, can you let them know where we are?"

"You got it, pal." Thank God for paramedics. This kid wouldn't have made it to the hospital, Cap thought as he went to get the ambulance attendants. But by the time he got back, the situation had deteriorated.
        
"Johnny, get an airway. Chet, can you help his mom here?" Roy was outwardly calm, but anyone who knew him could hear the urgency in his voice. Freddy's mother was clinging to her son repeating "Oh my God, please help him" over and over. Chet gently moved her away, assuring her that her son was in good hands.

Johnny handed Roy the airway and picked up the bio-phone. "Rampart, the victim has gone into respiratory arrest. Request permission to insert an airway."

"Go ahead on the airway, 51, and administer another amp of epi. Start an IV with D5W. Is the ambulance there?"

"One amp epi, D5W, and airway, Rampart. Affirmative on the ambulance."

"Transport as soon as you can move him, 51."

Roy had the airway established and had given the boy another dose of epi. Johnny secured the IV line, then lifted the boy onto the stretcher while Roy continued to bag the boy, forcing air into his lungs through the tube. Chet explained to Freddy's mother that she could ride in the front of the ambulance and that they would be going to Rampart.

"Cap, I need Johnny with me in the ambulance in case he codes on the way in," Roy said quietly so as to not be overheard by the mother. "Can someone bring in the squad?"

Cap nodded. "Johnny, go with Roy. Chet, why don't you bring in the squad?" Cap figured that Chet already had established a rapport with the mother and that might come in useful.

Johnny made sure the ambulance driver knew to use South Street and climbed in behind Roy. Five minutes into the transport, Freddy's heart stopped beating.

Johnny looked at Roy. "Do we stop?" Roy hesitated for only a moment. They were less than 3 minutes from Rampart. "No, keep moving." Johnny started CPR, stopping only when Roy tried to counter shock, with no success. Johnny picked up the bio-phone. "Rampart, this is 51. He's gone into v-fib. We shocked with no conversion. We're pulling in now. Meet us at the door." Johnny didn't wait for an answer but resumed CPR while Roy continued to force air into the resistant lungs of the small boy.

Brackett and a doctor they did not know, most likely the voice from the other end of the radio, met them at the door. Johnny and Roy continued CPR as they brought the boy into the treatment room.

Roy took a moment and looked at Dixie to get her attention. He nodded at Chet and the woman and mouthed, "His mother." Dixie said aloud, "Roy, can you stay and help? I'll be right there." She left the hurrying group and moved over to get some history and provide some comfort to the woman hanging onto Chet Kelly.

Brackett, the other doctor, Dixie, Roy, and Johnny worked for the next half hour, trying desperately to bring life back to their young charge. But it wasn't to be that afternoon and for the second time in two shifts, the men looked at the floor in despair as Dr. Brackett called the time of death.

Brackett left to deliver the news to the mother. Chet had caught a ride back to the station so that the engine could go back into service. Dixie escorted Roy and Johnny into the doctor's lounge and got them both a cup of coffee. Both held the mugs absently, making no move to drink the hot liquid. No words were spoken.

Brackett entered the room. The other doctor was with him. "As strange as it may seem after what we have just been through, I realize that you all don't know each other. Roy, John, this is Doctor Pete Walters who will be covering for me when I'm away. Pete, Roy DeSoto and John Gage, two of our first and finest paramedics."
        
"Sorry to meet you men under such difficult circumstances, but I'm pleased to meet you just the same."

"Same here, Doc," Roy said, reaching out to shake the man's hand. Johnny just looked up and nodded. Brackett sat down next to Johnny. "There's nothing more you or I could have done. It's not much comfort, I know, but you and Roy gave that boy every chance that he had. But this time, it just wasn't enough."

Johnny exploded, spilling his coffee as he jumped to his feet. "Ten minutes!! Ten, God forsaken, minutes!! That mother should sue the DPW you know. If we had known to go down South Street we would have gotten there ten minutes sooner and that boy would still be alive. How do they expect us to do our jobs with bad information? Can you tell me that? How do they expect us to save these kids when they go and block the streets, and take drugs, and set beds on fire, and leave peanut butter in reach?" Johnny turned to look at Dr. Walters. "Welcome to LA, Doc. Lots of fun so far, isn't it?" With that he stormed out of the room and went to sit in the squad. No one tried to stop him.

Brackett just looked at Roy with eyebrows raised. Roy knew he didn't need to defend Johnny to Brackett. He hoped he didn't need to defend him to this new doctor. "We got held up in a water main break on the way to the scene. The Department of Public Works is suppose to notify dispatch when they're closing down a road. They didn't and the detour cost us ten minutes. If we had known ahead of time, we still would have lost a few minutes but only a few. Tell me something, Doc, is Johnny right? Could those ten minutes have made the difference for this kid?"

Brackett wished he could say no, but it just wasn't true. Instead he just shrugged and said, "I don't know, Roy. It may very well have been the difference, but maybe not. Peanut allergies can be so severe. Either way, you got there as fast as you could and did everything in your power to help him. Sometimes, it just isn't enough."

"Yeah, I've heard that before this week." Turning to Walters he said, "Doctor Walters, you saw Johnny at his best a half hour ago. What you saw just now, is a paramedic who has lost three children in the last two shifts, one of them a baby who died in his arms, this one a little boy who died while he was trying to pump his heart for him. What just happened here, well, that's the way I feel too. Johnny just expresses himself better than I do. It's the way he keeps himself going for the next run. I'm not apologizing for him but if you don't know him… Well, I just thought you should know."

Doctor Walters did not hesitate in his response. "Roy, I saw nothing here today that makes me think anything other than the best about the both of you. There's no need for apologies or explanations. I look forward to working with you over the next few weeks."
        
        
 

When the squad returned to the station, the engine was out on a run. Roy and Johnny hadn't said more than a word or two on the way back from the hospital. Johnny found the makings for a sandwich in the refrigerator and made one for himself and Roy without asking.

Roy was the first to speak as they sat at the table. "You know, Johnny, if you want to take off tomorrow, go camping again, I can bring Brackett and Dixie to the airport. I wouldn't mind."

Johnny sighed deeply before responding. "Thanks, Roy, but no. I don't really feel like disappearing into the woods again so soon. Besides, Brackett would surely decide something was up if I passed this off to you. You know him. He'd find a way to bug me all the way from Hawaii."

"Yeah, probably. Well, if you change your mind, the offer stands."

"Okay. So I guess I didn't make much of an impression on the new guy, huh?"

"Oh, I don't know about that. I doubt he'll forget you too quickly."

"Okay, I mean I'm not sure I made a good impression."

Roy smiled. "Johnny, I wouldn't worry about it. He seems pretty cool. And he comes with Brackett's glowing endorsement. That has to count for something. Even Morton doesn't get that all the time."

 

The paramedics of squad 51 got several more opportunities to see the new doctor in action during the remainder of their shift. Five more calls landed them in the ER. Walters handled all of the calls and by the end of the night the men were feeling confident that they could work with this man without difficulty. Johnny had been quiet throughout the rest of the shift, saying nothing except what was needed to complete his job. Roy didn't push him. He was honestly grateful for the silence. He didn't feel much like talking either.

The following day Johnny met Dr. Brackett and Dixie at Roy's house. The kids were at their grandmother's house, which enabled Johnny to get in and out much quicker than usual. Johnny was civil, but withdrawn. Before getting out of the car at the airport, Brackett paused and turned to Johnny.

"John, are you okay?"

"I will be, Doc. Nothing that a little time won't heal. You know me, a few days from now your doctor friend will be wishing that my funk had been a permanent state of being." Johnny looked at Dixie, who had that mother hen look on her face. "Dix, don't you fret about anything. Roy and I are big boys and we will move on from this same way as other times. Even if you aren't right there to push us along, okay? Now, you both have a glorious time and remember, if you need some more bucks, one room is cheaper than two and a whole lot more fun."

"Johnny Gage," Dixie exclaimed in mock indignation, "I will not have you calling my virtue into question. Nothing is going to happen between Kel and me. We are friends."

"Okay, Dix. Just be sure you send me a post card to let me know exactly when you give up that second room."

"Goodbye, Gage!" Brackett said as he pulled Dixie away towards the ticket counter. "We'll see you in a few weeks."

 

Johnny couldn't believe he was actually shaking with fear as they headed for their first call of the day. The shift had just begun when the tones sounded and Johnny and Roy headed off to a "boy down" call. Johnny would swear that Roy drove just a little faster than usual and Johnny had to remind himself to breath as they approached the address.

"Thank you for coming," the woman said calmly as she opened the door, inviting them into the house. "It's my son. He woke up this morning and said that he was sick. He says his stomach hurts and he's grabbing his right side. I called his doctor, but he's out of town. The service said that I could wait until later today and call the doctor covering or I could bring him to the emergency room. I don't drive and his father is away on business, so I called you. I do hope that's okay."

"No problem, ma'am. Where is your son?" Johnny asked, looking around but seeing no sign of anyone but the mother.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. He's in his room. Come on, I'll take you up there."

Roy and Johnny heard the boy moaning as they climbed the stairs. Upon entering the bedroom, they immediately relaxed. Both knew from the look on the boy's face and the sound of the moans that there was no serious problem here.

"What's your name, son?" Johnny asked the boy as he held his stomach and writhed in apparent pain.

"John, but you can call me Jacky."

"Well now, how about that? My name's John too, but folks call me Johnny. This is my partner Roy. We're here to check you out. What seems to be the problem?"

"I feel really lousy. I've been puking all night. My belly hurts something awful and I have a real bad fever. But I'm sure it's just that 24 hour thing that's going around school. I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow in time for the basketball game."

"Something going around school, huh? I hadn't heard about that, did you Roy?"

Roy shook his head. "How old are you Jacky?"

"I'm 11. I'm in 5^th grade."

Roy got out the BP cuff and a thermometer while Johnny continued to question the boy.

"So, Jacky, when did you first start to get sick last night? Do you remember how many times you threw up?"

"Gee, I don't know. I must have puked 10 or 15 times at least, a ton of stuff every time. It was awful. I think it started like around midnight. Right after my Mom went to bed."

Roy noticed the confused look on the mother's face. "Ma'am, did you know your son was sick all night?"

"No, and I don't know how that could be. My room is right next to the bathroom, and I never once heard him."

"Yeah, well, I was real quiet, Mom. I didn't want to wake you up. OH!! MY STOMACH HURTS!!!" Jacky grabbed his abdomen and curled up and rolled over.

Johnny rethought his assessment for a moment upon seeing this. He knew that bending into a fetal position was a reflex movement associated with abdominal pain. He doubted that the boy knew that. "Jacky, can you role onto your back and show me where it hurts while Roy here checks your blood pressure?"

Jacky complied and let Roy take his pulse and blood pressure while Johnny checked for tenderness and rigidity in his abdomen. Nothing was readily apparent. Johnny took the thermometer and started to place it in Jacky's mouth.

"Hey, you don't have to do that. I already took my temperature. I have a real bad fever."

"Well, tell you what. My boss would be mad at me if I didn't check again for myself, okay?"

Roy had called into Rampart and had Walters on the line. "The victim is an 11 year old boy who reports he has been up vomiting all night. He says he vomited 10 or 15 times. His mother cannot confirm this. He's complaining of abdominal pain and a fever. BP is 110 over 70, pulse, 80, and respiration 20. Abdomen is not exhibiting any rigidity or tenderness. No rebound pain."

Roy heard the conversation between Johnny and Jacky as Jacky explained that their thermometer must be broken and handed him one he had used right before the paramedics arrived. "Are you sure this was your temperature?" Roy heard Johnny ask. The boy was adamant in his response.

"Uh, Doc," Roy almost laughed, "the victim's skin is cool and dry and according to our thermometer his temperature is 98.6 exactly. However, he is contesting those results and thinks we have faulty equipment. He has produced a thermometer that he says he used right before we arrived. According to that thermometer, he has a temperature of 106 degrees. He also states he is sure this a 24 hour bug that will be gone before tomorrow's basketball game."

"Understood, 51" came the response from Rampart. "Tell the mother I suggest that she call the school and find out what he's missing today due to his apparent illness. I would further suggest that she impress upon the young man that an illness serious enough to need a paramedic response clearly calls for bed rest when not in school for at least 2 days and that includes passing on any basketball games. If she's still worried she should bring him to see her family doctor."

"The family doctor is away, Rampart. That's why she called us. Also, she does not drive."

"Well, she can bring him here if she wants, but there is bound to be a wait. Don't tie up an ambulance on this one. Tell her to bring him in by cab if she wants. Also, advise the mother that she should throw away that thermometer and buy a new one. He had to leave that baby on a light bulb for a while to get it to 106 and who knows if it will ever work right again after that."

"10-4, Rampart. Bed rest and a new thermometer. 51 out."

Johnny almost felt bad for the kid as he listened to the exchange between Roy and Dr. Walters then between Roy and Jacky's mother. "So, what are you getting out of in school today?" he whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

Jacky knew he was beat. "A history test. I didn't read the book. I figured I could catch up today then take a make up test. I didn't know she'd call you guys, honest."

Johnny nodded. "A word of advice, pal. First off this is a stupid thing to do that always back fires, and I know you won't ever try it again. Second, by the time you've puked 3 or 4 times, there's nothing left but a clear acidic substance called bile. Third, with a temperature of 106, you'd not only be unconscious, you'd likely be dead. If you're going to fake an illness, less is more. You go over the top, and you hang yourself for sure. And last," said louder for the benefit of Roy and the boy's mother, "if you ever call paramedics again for a fake illness, I'll personally show up and take you to the hospital and make sure that every student nurse and student doctor gets to practice giving you shots. You got that?"

On the way back to the station Roy asked Johnny, "Did I really hear you giving that kid advice on how fake an illness?"

Johnny grinned. "More like how not to fake an illness. I wanted to be mad at the kid, but you know I was just so relieved that he wasn't really sick that I couldn't be mad. Besides, he made me remember a day I tried to convince my mother I was sick and couldn't go to school. Only I used a match to raise the temperature of the thermometer. I scorched and melted the tip. I tried to convince my mother it was because my fever was so high. She gave me a whopping dose of cod liver oil and grounded me for a week." Johnny made a face and shook just thinking of the substance. "I'm not sure what made her madder, the fact that I'd lied to get out of school or that I had lit a match."

Roy grinned, picturing Johnny as a boy trying to pull off a whopper with his mother. "You couldn't get away with a lie even then, huh?"

"Well, it wasn't one of my more inspired attempts, but no, somehow people always see through me when I try to lie. It must be that aura of integrity that I carry with me," Johnny grinned widely for the first time in several days.

Roy laughed. "Aura of integrity, huh? I suppose that's one way to describe it. I'd think of it more like a face you can read like a book, but if you want to stick with 'aura of integrity' I'll go along with that."

 

"So, Jennifer is all worked up about you coming to dinner tomorrow night." Johnny and Roy had dinner clean up and were working on washing the last of the dishes. Cap was in his office finishing reports. Chet, Marco, and Mike were out shooting hoops. "She has the whole evening planned out. The two of you are apparently going to set up the furniture in the doll house you gave her for her birthday, then after dinner you are going to help her name her new baby doll."

"Well, at least I get to eat dinner in there somewhere. I can always beg off and tell her I have to spend some time with Chris. At least I can play catch with him."

"Sorry, Junior. Chris is spending the night with the cub scouts at an indoor campout in the church hall."

"What's an indoor campout and what kind of fun is that?" Chet asked as he came into the kitchen and sat at the table.

Marco answered before Roy could respond. "My brother has a cub scout troop. He did that this year too. It's for the younger kids who have never camped before. It gets them used to being away from home, sleeping in sleeping bags and all that stuff without having to also contend with outhouses and mosquitoes."

"That's what they say," Roy added, "but I think the real reason is that they're right near a phone for all those calls to parents to come get their homesick kids in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, but Roy, we've taken the kids camping for real." Johnny was shaking his head. "I mean, Chris has spent lots of nights backwoods camping. Does he really want to camp in a church hall?"

"He says he does. You know, he's only 7. I'm not really sure how well he'll do camping without you or me there. I may be one of those parents who gets a call from a crying kid at 2 AM."

"No way. Chris is tough. He won't miss you at all."

 

The rest of the shift had been without difficulty. Although there had been a few more runs, and a major fire, there were no serious injuries and no transports to the Rampart.

Dinner the following night was pleasant. Joanne had convinced Jennifer to allow Uncle Johnny some "guy time" with Daddy, so Roy and Johnny sat out on the deck, sipping a glass of wine and enjoying the night air while Jennifer was temporarily content watching the Brady Bunch.

"So, Johnny," Joanne smirked as she joined the guys with her own glass of wine, "are you ready for parenthood?"

"Huh?"

"Well, Jennifer and I just had a nice chat and it seems that the reason you need to help her name her new baby is because you're going to be the baby's father some day."

"Even the 4 year olds are trying to get me to the altar. Can't a girl just once be content with a little dinner, and a little bowling?"

Joanne laughed. "You know, you should be honored. Most 4 year olds want to marry their father."

"But most 4 year olds don't have an Uncle Johnny to compete with their father. Alas, to lose my daughter's affections to another man so early in life," Roy replied as he took a deep breath, enjoying the night and the company. "I always thought she would want to marry me."

Just then Jennifer joined the group on the deck. "Don't be silly, Daddy. You know I could never marry you, because you're already married. What would Mommy do if we got married? I'm going to marry Uncle Johnny because he's not married and so he wouldn't need no divorce." Jennifer turned to Johnny. "It's okay if you keep dating those girls until I'm old enough to marry you. Just so you don't marry any of them, okay?"

Roy and Joanne both watched Johnny, wondering what he was going to do with this one. Johnny looked at both of them with a twinkle in his eye then motioned to Jennifer to come closer. She climbed up on his lap and he whispered something in her ear. Whatever was said, Jennifer squealed with delight and threw her arms around Johnny's neck and kissed his cheek. Jennifer started to climb down from his lap when Johnny stopped her and said in a very serious tone, "Now, this is our little secret, right Miss Jennifer?"

Jennifer giggled and crossed her heart with her right hand. "They can pull my finger nails out one by one and I'll never tell."

"Jennifer Lynn DeSoto!" Joanne said swiftly, "Wherever did you hear about something like pulling out fingernails? I don't want to hear that again."

Jennifer looked confused but nodded and said, "I'm sorry, Mommy. I won't say it again. Can I go watch the Partridge Family?"

"Okay, but if you do, then there won't be time for a story, you'll have to go straight to bed."
        
"Can Uncle Johnny tell me a story instead?"

"Honey, Uncle Johnny came over here to get some rest tonight. Why don't I read you a story? You can say goodnight to Uncle Johnny here."

"That's okay, Jo. I wouldn't mind reading to her. You guys relax. Come on, Pumpkin. Say goodnight to Mom and Dad and let's go pick out a story."
        
When Johnny returned to the porch he looked more relaxed than he had in several days. "I want to thank you guys."

"Well, seeing that we had pizza that you brought with you, I'm not sure that's necessary."

"No, not for that. Sometimes it just helps to be around happy, healthy little kids."

Joanne nodded. "Sure. We're happy to share. But, I'm not so sure about the healthy part. Where in the world does she pick up things like pulling fingernails out one by one? She's not getting that on the Brady Bunch or Sesame Street. If she were going to day care, I'd suspect she got it there, but she doesn't. Why would she say that?"

Roy provided his wife with an answer to her question. "She has an older brother! On the way to the sleep over Chris was talking to Patrick about some secret and made him promise on threat of having his fingernails pulled out one by one that he wouldn't tell. Clearly he has made the same demand of his sister. Or else she just overheard him."

Joanne just shook her head. "It doesn't matter what you do. It's like not allowing toy guns. They use sticks instead, or their fingers. You can't win"

 

Johnny and Roy started their next shift, feeling confident that they would now be able to move beyond the recent string of bad outcomes. The evening with Jennifer and some time away again had been just what they needed. That, and a post card from Dixie.

After roll call the men gathered at the kitchen table for a cup of coffee. Johnny pulled out the post card and showed it to the guys. The scene was lovely, a tropical beach with a hammock and palm trees at sunset, a silhouette of a couple holding hands on the beach. The message said only, "And then there was one."

"Well, what the heck does that mean?" Chet asked. "One what? Place looks nice. But, that's one weird message. Is it a code or something? Are you suppose to write back and say, 'The rooster crows at dawn'?"

Johnny knew exactly what it meant, but he suddenly realized that perhaps that information was not meant for everybody. "I don't know. I just thought the place was pretty."

At their first chance to be alone Roy grabbed Johnny. "Let me see the card again. What does it mean? Do you know?"

Now that it was just Roy, Johnny was all smiles. "Of course I know. Before they got on the plane I reminded them that one hotel room was cheaper than two and told Dix to send me a post card to let me know when she and Brackett moved into the same room. I was teasing, but I guess they did. Boy, I hope it works out for them. They are great together, but there was nothing worse than working with them when they were going through breaking up."

"Yeah, its tough when you have to work together even if you aren't together. But, they know what they're in for, so hopefully it will be right this time."

Johnny agreed and added that he thought they should keep this secret for now. Things could change even before the two arrived home.

"Absolutely. But speaking of secrets, are you going to fill me in on the one you have with my little 4 year old who is helplessly in love with you?"

Johnny actually giggled. "I just told her that she was my favorite girl and the prettiest girl I knew, but she couldn't tell any of the girls I dated about that or they would be jealous."

Roy shook his head. "I wonder some times what I'm going to do with her when she's 16."

The sound of the klaxons broke through their conversation. "Station 51. Respond to a possible drowning at Camp Blue Jay on Parker Road."

 

Johnny sat outside Rampart in the squad, waiting for Roy to finish restocking supplies. He knew he should be in there helping, but he couldn't bring himself to stay there. Walters kept looking at him like he was going to break, kept asking him if he was okay, kept asking him if he needed to talk. He liked the man okay, but he had not exactly been in a talkative mood for much of their interaction. And after the rescue at Camp Blue Jay, Johnny was quite sure he wasn't going to be in a talking mood for many days.

When Roy finally came out to the squad, he started driving before he started talking. "Walters is worried about you. I told him he didn't need to be, but he is. Johnny, what happened back there? I just can't figure out how it all happened? Do you know?"

Camp Blue Jay was a camp for girl scouts. It was on a river on the outskirts of LA county.

Johnny just shook his head. "I spoke to Vince when I was packing up the gear. The police were still there investigating. I don't think they were leaving any time soon. Anyways, Vince said that the river is usually slow this time of year, but last week's rains must have caused a swell. The three girls asked to take out a canoe and no one noticed that the river was running high and fast. They just said okay. They counted the life jackets still in the shed. They were all there which means none of the girls even had a life jacket with them. None had ever been in a canoe on fast water. And when the boat tipped over, no one on staff knew anything about doing a fast water rescue."

Johnny hesitated before he went on. "Roy, everything seems so out of control, you know? I mean, today three kids and the two adults who tried to save them, all but the one lady dead. And that's just today. If we include the last week, well, it gets a little scary, don't you think?"

Roy had been thinking the same thing. "Yeah. I don't ever remember another stretch like this one. And it's mostly kids. You know, I don't think we lost one kid in the last six months before this past week. At least this time we got there as soon as possible. But I can't believe that out of five victims, only one was still alive when we arrived. It's not that I've never done recovery work before, but to pull three little girls out of the river, knowing there is just no chance for them, that was one of the hardest things I've ever done."

"How do you ever let Jen and Chris out of your sight? I mean, I feel the need to find them and hug them and they aren't my flesh and blood."

"You can come over and get your hugs anytime, partner. As for letting them out of my sight, I'm afraid to say that Jo and I haven't been real good at that in the last few days. Now, it will be worse. I have the feeling that the next few days are ones that the kids will talk to their friends about when they talk about things they'll never do to their kids. Chris is supposed to go canoeing with the cub scouts tomorrow. I may be wrong, but I can't let him go. I just can't."

"I'm glad. I've been sitting here trying to figure out a way to suggest that you not let him go. It's wrong. It's irrational. But it's real."

Roy nodded. "Joanne will be relieved. She wasn't too thrilled about this trip anyway, since I wasn't going to be there."

The conversation was cut short by their radio. "Squad 51, what's your status?"

Roy cringed, realizing he had forgotten to make them available. "Squad 51, available."

"10-4, 51. Stand by for a response."

"Standing by, LA."

"Squad 51, man down at 9908 North Wilshire Blvd. Cross street, Milk Street."

"10-4, LA, 9908 North Wilshire Blvd."

The fact that no engine had been called out meant that either the caller had indicated an engine was not needed, or there was not one available. The paramedics hoped for the former, but with the way their day had been going, anticipated the latter. They arrived at the scene to find a man, alone on his front steps, sitting holding a phone that had a long cord leading from the house. The man was in obvious distress.

Johnny grabbed the equipment while Roy took the oxygen and hurried to the man's side.

"Sir, my name is Roy and this is my partner, John. What's your name?"

The man's response, "Ben" was hardly audible.

"Ben, can you tell me what's wrong?" Roy put the oxygen on Ben as he asked the question. "This should help you feel better," he explained.

Ben had trouble speaking. He kept pulling his tee shirt away from his neck, even though it was not tight.

"Ben, are you having trouble breathing, does your chest hurt?" Roy asked, as Johnny began to check his blood pressure and Roy took his pulse. The man nodded and spoke slowly.

"Angina… was loading that lumber onto the loft above the garage… stupid idea … home all alone … started to hurt …. couldn't breathe …thank God, phone… was outside … waiting for call"

Johnny set up the bio-phone, then suggested to Ben that he might be more comfortable without the tee shirt. He agreed and allowed Johnny to cut it off rather than try to remove it over his head. "Ben, we're going to put these paddles on your chest here so that we can see what's happening with your heart beat real quick. Then we'll hook you up so that the doc at the hospital can see as well, okay?"

Roy got on the bio-phone as Johnny set up to send the hospital a strip.

"Rampart, this is squad 51, how do you read?"

Morton responded, "Go ahead, 51."

"Rampart, we have a male, approximately age 60, complaining of chest pains after loading some heavy lumber into a loft above his garage. He reports a history of angina. Vitals are, pulse 90, respirations 20 and labored, BP 140 over 100. We're sending you a strip on lead 2."

Morton looked at the strip and immediately ordered an IV, nitroglycerin, oxygen, and immediate transport. "51, you said the victim has a history of angina. Does he have any prescriptions?"

Roy asked Ben who nodded. "Don't remember the name… my shirt… in garage… pocket … "

Johnny went to find the shirt. "Rampart," Roy spoke to Morton, "that's affirmative on the prescription, but the victim doesn't remember what it is. Johnny's gone to get it now. There's an apparent delay on the transport, however. The ambulance hasn't yet arrived at the scene."

"Okay, 51. Bring the meds with you, continue to monitor and keep me updated. Transport the minute you can. I'll stand by."

Roy started the IV then looked around for the HT before remembering that Johnny had it with him. "Hey Johnny!" Roy called loud enough for his partner to hear him in the garage. "Can you get LA and check on the ETA of the ambulance?"

Before Johnny could answer they heard the siren in the distance. Johnny yelled out to Roy, "Do you hear them? Sounds like they're about two minutes away."

Roy sighed with relief at the sound. Within a few minutes they would be on the way to the hospital. Maybe this victim will make it there before going into full arrest, though his EKG doesn't look good.

But before the ambulance reached them, another sound filled the air and filled Roy with dread. It was the sound of the loft in the garage collapsing from the weight of the lumber. As Roy looked over, he prayed he would see Johnny walking toward them with the shirt. But Johnny was nowhere to be seen. He was still in the garage.

On instinct, Roy got up to run to the garage, but the man in front of him grabbed his chest and went into full arrest. Roy could still hear the ambulance, but it was nowhere in sight. There was no one else in sight. Of all the times to not have a crowd of onlookers! He yelled Johnny's name as he charged the defibrillator, but if Johnny answered him, he didn't hear him.

Roy shocked Ben once, with no conversion. He called out to Johnny again, but still got no answer. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he needed to stay focused and calm. Every fiber of his being wanted to run to the garage and help his partner and friend. But his first obligation was to the man in front of him. Johnny would have to wait. Please, God. I hope he can wait. He picked up the bio-phone. "Rampart, we have a situation."

"I see it, 51. Have you counter shocked yet?"

"That's affirmative, Rampart. No conversion. Doc, I need assistance. The ambulance is on its way, but still not here. The loft of the garage has just collapsed while my partner was in there getting the meds. I can't get to a radio. I need you to call in a code I. Have them send another squad, ambulance, and engine."

"Okay, Roy, we'll take care of that immediately from this end. Are you ready to shock?"

"The dilemma of a one person rescue. I've got to put the phone down, Doc. I'll shock then get back on the line."

Roy worked on the victim for several minutes, shocking and administering medication as instructed. The ambulance attendants arrived and started hauling debris out of the garage, something not in their job descriptions, but since they couldn't take over for Roy they did what they could for Johnny.

Squad 16 arrived before the engine. Carl Johnson joined Roy in trying to revive the victim. Nothing was working. After another few minutes, Morton ordered them to transport and continue CPR on the way in. Roy didn't even have to ask Johnson and his partner to take charge of Ben's care and allow him to stay for Johnny. That was simply assumed. The paramedics of squad 16 went together in the ambulance, with Roy's promise to find a way to get their abandoned squad to the hospital as soon as possible. Engine 51 arrived just as the ambulance was leaving.

As the crew rushed to the garage, they immediately began hauling out the lumber and other things that had fallen to the floor, without even needing to be told that there was someone under the pile. The look on Roy's face was enough to tell them it was Johnny.

Captain Stanley came up to Roy's side and began moving lumber. "Fill me in, Roy."

"Johnny was in the garage when the loft collapsed. The victim went into full arrest and I couldn't leave him. Squad 16 just took the victim to the hospital. Johnny's been in there 10 minutes already. He's not answering me. I'm not really sure what part of the garage he was in. He came back here to get the victim's medication out of his shirt pocket."

Marco, Mike, Chet, Cap, and Roy spread out and all took turns calling out to Johnny as they quickly moved the lumber and the other debris. It was Marco who heard Johnny first. "Over here," Marco called to the others who quickly came to join him in the back of the garage.

Marco called back, "Johnny, we hear you. We'll have you out in a few minutes. How badly are you hurt?"

Johnny answered Marco. Roy was relieved to hear that his voice sounded strong. "I'm okay. I'm bleeding from somewhere. My arm I think. But I can move everything. I think I got bonked off the head. I've got a hell of a headache. I guess I was out for a bit, but I'm not sure. Did Roy go in with the victim?"

"No, Johnny," Roy answered, "I'm right here. They responded a second squad. They took in the other victim. How bad is the bleeding?"

"Pretty bad, I think. My arm hurts. Hey Roy, how long before you have me out of here? It's getting kind of cold in here."

Roy knew Johnny shouldn't be cold. It was still 85 degrees out. He must be going into shock. He tried not to let any of the urgency he felt come through to his voice. "Not long. Just hang in there, partner. We don't want anything else to fall in on you. Keep talking to me. Are you having any trouble breathing? Does your chest hurt?"

"No, remarkably, one of the beams seems to have kept most of the stuff off me. But it's blocking my line of vision. I can't see below my shoulders and I don't dare move. I think I got whacked off the head. I've got a monster headache and I think I blacked out, but I'm not real sure. Hey, Roy?"

"Yeah, Johnny?"

"Not that I'm worried or anything, but after this week… well, just hurry as much as you can, okay?"

"I understand, Junior, but you have nothing to worry about, okay? I can see your feet. We'll have you out in a minute. I'm going to contact Rampart while the guys finish getting this stuff off of you. Mike, keep talking to him."

Roy picked up the bio-phone and contacted Rampart again.

"Rampart, this is squad 51. How do you read?"

"Go ahead, 51." This time it was Walters. That probably meant that Johnson was already there with the first victim and Morton was with them.

"Rampart, we have the second victim almost free. He is a 26 year old male who has been trapped under a pile of lumber and other debris from a structure collapse for about 15 minutes. He is conscious and responsive, though there are indications that he lost consciousness after the collapse since he was not responding to verbal calls until five minutes ago. We don't have any vitals yet as we can't get to him yet. He states he was struck on the head and left arm. He is bleeding from somewhere, but we don't know where. He reports his left arm hurts. He is also cold despite the 85 degree temperature here. We'll update you as soon as we have better access to him. Be advised the victim is John Gage."

Walters groaned silently. What was that Dixie had said? "Johnny tends to rush in where even fools dare not tread."

"I'll stand by, 51. Get me the vitals as soon as you get him out."

Roy returned to the garage just in time to see Johnny arguing with the cap about whether or not he should be standing, which, Roy noted, was a moot point since he already was. Roy wished that just once his partner would admit when he was hurt and let others help him before reaching the point of collapse. But he knew that was too much to hope for. All he could do was watch as Cap and Chet helped Johnny walk over to Roy. Johnny's left arm was cradled to his chest and was bleeding profusely.

"Boy, you can be stubborn sometimes," Roy chastised as he knelt down to where Cap and Chet had deposited Johnny on the front step of the house, the same place they had found the victim sitting when they had first arrived. "Come on, let me see your arm. Cap, can you get me the trauma box?"

Johnny's left arm was badly cut. A long laceration ran from just below his elbow toward his wrist. It was deep and jagged and bleeding. Roy quickly noted, however, that there didn't appear to be enough blood to indicate arterial damage which meant the bleeding should be easier to control and would be less likely to result in any permanent damage from lack of blood flow to the hand. But it would clearly need debridement.

"This is a pretty nasty gash, Johnny," Roy stated matter of factly as he bandaged the arm. "Can you move all your fingers?"

Johnny slowly made a fist then straightened out his fingers again, easing both his and Roy's fears. "I don't think anything's broken. Looks like the tendons are okay too. It hurts like crazy, but I bet it's going to hurt more when they clean it out."

"I'm sure they'll give you something to numb it. How's your head? Where does it hurt?"

"Now it hurts everywhere. But at first it was just the back of my head. I think that's where I got whacked."

Roy found a nice size goose egg forming.

"Ow!! Johnny pulled away.

"Sorry, I'll be more careful. But you need to stay still, pal. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two," he answered, his level of stress now showing in his tone of voice. "And my name is John Gage and today is Friday and Gerald Ford is the president. Roy, is this really necessary?" Johnny pushed his partner's hand away as he tried to check his pupils with the pen light.

Roy ignored the question, instead taking his partner's wrist and counting out his pulse. "Sit still!" He admonished as Johnny pulled away.

"Well, your hands are cold," Johnny complained.

Johnny knew Roy was right, but he just couldn't help it. It annoyed him to no end to be on the receiving end of medical care, especially in the field, in front of all the guys. Protesting the attention was what came naturally.

Roy was becoming frustrated, but stopped himself before accusing Johnny of acting worse than a child. Treat him like the victim that he is at the moment. "Look, Johnny, you're not trying to tell me that you're not hurt, right? You agree that you have a serious injury to your arm, you have a headache, you may have a concussion, and you just had a building collapse on you, right?"

"Well… yeah," Johnny admitted.

"So, I think you need to indulge me and let me treat you the way I would any patient who just spent 20 minutes trapped in a collapsed building. And, I might add, the way you would insist on treating me if the tables were turned."

"Okay, you have a point. I'll shut up. Just remember that next time you're on this side of the stethoscope."

"You've got a deal." Roy grinned at his friend and finished the neuro check that Johnny had interrupted. "Cap, can you hand me the bio-phone and then check on the ambulance? They must be busy today. The last one was delayed too."

"Sure, Roy." Cap turned to Marco. "Lopez, why don't you drive 16's squad into Rampart. They'll need to get back in service."

Cap got on the radio to check on the ETA of the ambulance while Roy got back in touch with the hospital.

"Rampart, this is squad 51. How do you read?"

"We read you loud and clear, 51," Walters responded.

"Rampart, victim number 2 is now free from the debris. He is conscious, alert and oriented. He has a large bump on the back of his head where he was apparently struck by debris. Although we can't be sure, we think that he was unconscious for about 10 minutes. His pupils are equal and reactive. He's complaining of a headache that started at the site of the swelling but is now encompassing his whole head. His vision is clear. He has a deep laceration on his lower left arm. We have controlled the bleeding with bandages. There doesn't appear to be any broken bones or tendon damage. He has full mobility. He is showing signs of shock. He's pale and is feeling cold despite the warm temperatures. His pulse is 75. BP is 106 over 70. Respirations are 16 and his lungs are clear."

Although he wished Gage had not been hurt at all, Walters was relieved to hear that the injuries were not more serious. All this was treatable. "Start an IV with D5W, take precautions for shock, and bring him in, 51."

"10-4, Rampart. D5W and transport. The ambulance has just arrived."

As Roy put down the bio-phone, Mike handed him the IV set up and the D5W. They all want to do something to help, but their hovering is going to drive Johnny crazy. "Thanks, Mike," Roy said to the engineer. He turned to Stanley. "Cap, we're all set here. If someone can drive our squad to Rampart, you guys don't need to stay."

Stanley understood immediately that Roy was trying to get them to back off. "Sure thing, Roy. Do you need anything but the phone and the drug box with you?"

Roy shook his head no and Stanley and the other guys loaded the rest of the equipment back in the squad.

Roy turned his attention back to his partner. The relief was showing on Johnny's face. So was the weariness that was beginning to set in. "Thanks, Roy."

"Anytime. Listen, how about you get onto the gurney and get comfortable before I start the IV. It'll be easier for you to move without it." Besides, you really need to lie down.

Johnny acquiesced and Roy helped him move to the gurney. He lay down without needing to be told to do so and Roy knew he felt worse than he was admitting. Roy put the BP cuff back around his arm and pumped it up to act as a tourniquet to ease the insertion of the IV.

"Okay, you know the routine," Roy said evenly as he swabbed Johnny's arm. "Don't watch and you probably won't even feel it."

"No way, pal. If you're going to stick a needle in my arm, I'm watching every move you make."

"Okay, then watch and see how a pro does it. Unless, of course, you'd like to do it yourself?"

"No, I trust myself to your capable hands, but just remember, Pally. One of these days the shoe may be on the other foot and I'll be holding the IV and you'll be lying here. When that day comes, I'll remember this moment, so you be careful. OW!"

Roy just smiled and taped down the IV line. Minutes later they were on their way to Rampart.

 

The events of the day caught up with Johnny on the way to Rampart. By the time the ambulance pulled into the bay, Johnny's strength and mood had both plummeted. His head and arm were throbbing. Against his better judgement, at Johnny's insistence, Roy had told him about Ben's heart attack and the likely outcome. Johnny had also realized that he was now going to have to face Walter's probing eyes and questions, with no easy escape. He didn't think he'd have the energy to put on a good front, so he would just have to live with the consequences.

Carol directed the paramedic team into treatment room 2. "Dr. Walters or Dr. Morton will be in in a few minutes. We just had a code in the unit and they're both with her, but it shouldn't be long."

"Carol?" Johnny was hoping. "Maybe you could tell Dr. Early that I'm here?"

"Didn't you guys hear? Dr. Early's out with pneumonia. He'll be okay, but he'll be out at least another week." Carol was somewhat surprised at the request. From what she had seen, the paramedics all got along with Dr. Walters.

"Oh man, that's tough. He's gonna be okay though?" Johnny inquired.

"Absolutely. But I'm afraid you're stuck with Morton or Walters. But anyway, I thought you liked Dr. Walters."

"I would hope so," Pete Walters said as he walked through the door.

Johnny turned three shades of red, embarrassed that he may have hurt this man's feelings. "Of course, Doc. I was just asking about Dr. Early. I didn't know he was out sick. It's nothing against you or anything. I just figured that if he was around, well, he knows me better and stuff."

Johnny looked beseechingly at his silent friend. Feel free to jump in any time, Pally. But he was saved by the intercom. "Dr. Peter Walters, dial the operator."

"Sorry, guys," Walters apologized for the interruption. "I'll be right back. Roy, can you get me a new set of vitals?"

"Sure, Doc." Roy grabbed the BP cuff and cut Johnny off before he could object. "Just behave and you'll be out of here that much quicker."

Walters was back in a moment and got an update from Roy. "Alright, John. Can you tell me what you remember about what happened?"

"We were on a rescue. I went into the guy's garage to try to find his shirt, which had his meds. While I was in there, I heard a creaking, then the whole thing came crashing in. The garage loft, I mean. He had just put a bunch of lumber up there and it wasn't stable enough. I got bonked off the back of the head by something that fell. I don't remember hurting my arm, but obviously I did. I figure I must have passed out, but I don't really remember coming to or anything. I just remember getting hit, realizing I was trapped, then hearing Marco call my name."

Walters immediately found the bump on the back of his head. "I bet that hurts."

"Yeah, my whole head is pounding."

Walters did a full neuro check and found no problems. He then unwrapped Gage's arm and examined the laceration. Johnny couldn't help but wince as he touched it.

"Any idea what caused this?" Walters asked Johnny and Roy.

Johnny shook his head. Roy responded. "Some of the wood stored in the loft had old nails and screws in it. He might have gotten hit with something like that."

"Are you up to date on your tetanus booster?"

"Yup."

"Okay, well, here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to get some pictures of your head. Then, we'll clean up your arm. You'll need stitches. After your arm is taken care of, we'll get a CAT scan. Then we'll figure out what to do from there. In the meantime, we'll hang an antibiotic on the IV. Might as well get a head start on fighting an infection in your arm."

"Uh, Doc?" Johnny asked despite knowing the answer, "Do you think I could have a couple of aspirin?"

Walters made a face. "I'd rather hold off until I see the x-rays. Can you hold on?"

Why ask if I can hold on if the answer is still going to be no. But then, I asked even though I knew the answer was no. "Sure, just make sure you have it standing by."

"You've got it, John. X-ray will be here in a minute, then I'll be back to take care of your arm."

Walters was gone. Johnny leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and used his right hand to put pressure on the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the pounding behind his eyes. He almost forgot Roy was still in the room.

"Is the pain getting worse?" Roy quietly asked his ailing partner.

"I don't know. I guess. Hey, you don't have to hang around here. You need to get back to the station. Cap will be waiting on you. No way they're going to let me go back to work, even if they let me go home, so I guess he'll need to call in a replacement."

"It better not be Brice or I'll make you pay dearly for this. Look, chances are I'll be back here on another run before you're finished with all this, but either way I'll check in on you."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

 

Johnny closed his eyes and tried to meditate. Maybe I can will the pain away, he thought, again applying pressure between his eyes. He took deep, measured breaths, trying to focus on the process. But, it wasn't working. Meditation had helped him get through having his arm treated, but it was doing little to help now. His arm was throbbing with every beat of his heart and his head felt like it was in an ever tightening vice. How long can it take to read a CAT scan? Surely they'll know something in a few minutes and then they can give me something for this pain.

Johnny didn't hear Doctor Walters come in. Walters stood silently watching his young charge before announcing his presence. Johnny hadn't said three words in the last two hours that were not in direct response to a question, not even during the 45 minutes it took Walters to clean and suture his arm. This did not fit with the way others described Johnny. Morton had told him he was a terrible patient who complained constantly. Carol had told him he had a reputation for flirting with any female within hearing range. Everyone had warned him that Gage would try everything possible to get himself released and returned to duty. But he was doing none of these things. He was sitting silently, seemingly pulled deep within himself. As Walters thought about it, he realized that Gage had not fit others' description of him at any time since he had met him. He did not find Gage to be outgoing, talkative, and engaging. He found him to be sullen and withdrawn. All that started before this injury. He would have to think more about that. In the meantime…

"John, how do you feel?"

Johnny startled at Walter's voice. "I feel like the tuba, bass, and trombone have joined the drums in my head. What did the CAT scan show?"

"A concussion, but nothing more. As I said, the x-rays were negative as well. Any nausea or vision problems to go with your headache?"

"No, just the pain."

"Well, let's try this. My guess is that it's too late for aspirin to take hold of this. I'm going to give you something stronger for the pain. If it takes the pain away we can talk about sending you home. That is, unless you live alone."

Johnny groaned. He couldn't very well lie. Walters would be sure to find out. "I do live alone, but I'm sure I'll be okay. I can call a neighbor and ask them to check in on me later, okay?"

"Before we worry about that, let's see if we can get the pain under control. I could give you a pill, but a shot will work faster. I'll send Carol in with something, then you try closing your eyes again. I'll be back in a half hour to check and see how you're doing. Sleep if you can. I promise I'll wake you up."

Johnny nodded. "Thanks, Doc." Just knowing that the pain was going to go away made things better.

 

Roy returned to the ER to find Johnny asleep. He quietly slipped out of the room and went in search of someone who could fill him in on his partner's status. He found Carol at the desk.

"Hey, Carol. What's up with Johnny? I see he's asleep."

"He's going to be fine, Roy. No broken bones, no bleeding, just a concussion, the injury to his arm, and a major headache. I gave him a shot for the pain. Doctor Walters would release him if he didn't live alone, but I suspect that since he does, the doctor will decide to admit him over night."

"He's not going to like that decision. Especially if Walters tells him he could go if he didn't live alone." Roy knew he could solve the problem, but he didn't know if Johnny would let him. Well, he could at least set it up just in case. "Carol, can I use the phone?"

Roy was just hanging up when he saw Walters approaching the desk. "Hey, Doc. How's my partner doing?"

"I was just going in to talk to him. Want to join us? I don't think he'd mind."

"Sure," Roy said and followed him into the treatment room.

Johnny continued to sleep soundly, his face no longer scrunched in pain. Walters gently touched his shoulder and called his name, not wanting to startle him. Johnny opened his eyes and acknowledged Walters before seeing Roy standing in the background.

"Hey, pal, you back on business or pleasure?"

"If I ever start hanging out here for pleasure, remind me that it's time to find a new career. How ya doin?"

"Okay, I think. What do you think, Doc?"

"How's the pain?"

"Much, much better. Whatever it is that you gave me, I'd highly recommend the stuff."

"Demerol is good. But I don't think you'll need something that strong again. Now it's a matter of staying on top of it. I'll give you Tylenol with codeine to get you through the next couple of days, then plain aspirin should do the trick. I'm also giving you a prescription for an antibiotic. It's very important that you take it as directed and finish the whole prescription even if you feel okay. Your system was exposed to all sorts of things through that gash in your arm. Let's keep those germs in check."

"So, does that mean I can go home?" Johnny asked, hoping that the doctor had forgotten the caveat about living alone.

"Sorry, John, but I can't send you home alone tonight. You need someone to check on you from time to time through the night. Stay here as our guest tonight and you can go home tomorrow or the next day."

"Tomorrow or the next day!! Come on, Doc. I'll be fine."

"Johnny…" Roy tried to interject. He was ignored.

"And what's with tomorrow or the next day? I certainly don't need to be here more than one night. You said if the pain was under control…"

"Johnny…" Roy tried again, louder this time.

"Don't bother, Roy. You're not going to convince me that this is a good idea. I don't need to be here. If I needed to be here, they wouldn't let me out even if I didn't live alone, right?"

Walters said nothing, deciding to instead see what Roy would do.

"Johnny," Roy started for the third time, "Joanne is on her way down here to pick you up. You can sleep in Jennnifer's room for the night and Jen will sleep with Joanne. She can check on you a few times during the night and that way you can be in a bed, away from the noise and poking of a hospital. Before you refuse, just remember it's your only chance of getting out of here tonight."

Johnny didn't know quite what to say. He had been a guest at the DeSoto household many times, but the only time it was overnight was the time they had wanted to get an early start for a camping trip the next morning. And always, Roy had been there.

"But Roy, you're working tonight. That's an awful lot to ask of Joanne. And, well, I don't know. It feels funny sleeping in your house when you're not there."

"You slept there the weekend you watched the kids when Jo and I went away."

"Yeah, but that's the point. Jo was with you. I mean… I don't know. It just doesn't feel right."

Roy wanted to laugh, but he knew Johnny was serious so he held back. "Johnny are you telling me I have to worry about you with my wife?"

Johnny turned red for the second time that day. "No, of course not. But, you know, people talk. I wouldn't want anything to mess up what we have going, you know?"

Roy just shook his head. "Johnny, I trust you. I trust Joanne. Joanne thinks of you like a little brother. She'd be hurt if she knew we even had this conversation, so we won't tell her. Go home with her. Let her mother you for a night. As for what other people think, who cares?"

"So, you're telling me that when Chet or one of the guys on another shift says to you, 'Hey DeSoto, heard your partner and your wife are shacking up while you're at work,' that isn't going to bother you?"

"You aren't giving the guys enough credit. They wouldn't say that. But, if they did, I'd either set them straight or just ignore it. As for Chet, yeah, you're right. He'll make some stupid comments and then he'll forget about it, same as with everything else. That is, as long as you don't let him know he's getting to you. So, what do you say? Doc, can he go home if he goes to my place?"

Walters seemed to hesitate for a moment. It was unintentional but he immediately noticed Gage's response and decided to use a little reverse psychology. "I don't know Roy. What would your wife do if suddenly things started to go sour?"

Johnny almost jumped off the table. "Oh, come on, Doc. You just said that the only reason I couldn't go home was because I lived alone. Now I've come up with a solution to that problem and you're going to throw another roadblock in the way? Joanne's perfectly capable of calling for help if I 'go sour' as you put it. And honestly a squad would probably get to her house quicker than a nurse would answer the call button here."

Walters kept his smile to himself. Some people were very predictable once you started to understand them. "Okay, John. You win. You can go home with Mrs. DeSoto on the condition that you stay the next 24 hours in her or Roy's company. If you are still okay tomorrow night, you can go home to your own place. Now, when is your next shift?"

"Today is Friday. We're on again on Monday."

Walters stopped to figure out how to make this work. "Okay, well why don't you come in early Monday on your way into work. Just be sure to be here by 6:30 AM. I'll come in early to see you so I won't be tied up with anyone else, but if I decide I want another x-ray, I want time to do that before I sign off on your release to return to work. BUT, if you feel at all sick, make sure you call me over the weekend so that we can figure it out before Monday. I'm not working, but I'll be on call and they can get me."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Johnny was trying to figure out if he had just been manipulated when Carol opened the door and announced that Joanne had arrived. Roy only had a minute to talk to her before his temporary partner signaled that they had been called out.

"Call me if you have any problems, Jo, and be gentle but firm. He's a little nervous about this set up. He thinks he's taking advantage of the friendship, I think."

"Don't worry about a thing. Go. Call me when you're free later and I'll give you an update."

Carol introduced Joanne to Dr. Walters who gave her instructions on the medication. "How do I know if I need to call you?" Joanne asked.

"He's going to have a headache. That's a sure thing. Help him stay in front of it with the Tylenol. If he gets more than a little nauseous, his vision blurs, or he gets a fever over 100 call me. If he starts to have problems with coordination or if he starts to get confused, call me, but call a squad first. But if I thought any of that was going to happen, I wouldn't be letting him go home with you. He needs to keep his arm dry. Roy should change the bandages tomorrow. If the arm gets very warm, starts to ooze, or gets bright red, you should call me. It will be a little red and a little warm for a while so don't worry about that. Any questions?"

 

The night at the DeSoto home went without incident. Mostly Johnny slept. When he woke in the morning, it was at the crack of dawn. As he got his bearings he vaguely remembered Joanne checking in on him off and on during the night. As he looked at the stuffed bunny lying next to him, he recalled Jennifer tucking it there and kissing his forehead goodnight.

Johnny scanned the room for a clock. Oh man, not even 5 AM. If I get up, Joanne's bound to hear me. But I really need the bathroom. Maybe I can sneak downstairs without her hearing me.

Joanne must have been soundly asleep because remarkably, Johnny managed to do just that. He was surprised to find that he felt pretty good once he was up and moving. Remembering Walter's instructions, he took two Tylenol even though his headache was not overwhelming. After using the bathroom downstairs to freshen up, Johnny quietly made a cup of coffee and grabbed a muffin and went out to the deck to watch the last of the color of the sunrise fade from the sky. Even at this hour, the temperature had reached the high seventies. It was going to be another hot day, but for the moment it was just perfect. He wasn't aware he had closed his eyes until he heard the commotion inside the house.

"No Roy, I'm telling you he's not here! … Yes, of course I checked the bathroom. I also checked the basement and the garage. … Four AM. He groaned at me, told me his name and went back to sleep. … No, I called his apartment before I called you. If he's there he isn't answering, but how would he even have gotten there? … Roy, I told you I checked the garage, don't you think I would have mentioned if the car was missing? … Well what good would that do? You're not going to find him if I can't. … I don't know what to do, that's why I'm calling you. … Don't tell me to calm down. … Jennifer, can't you see I'm on the phone? Just wait a minute. …. Well, I don't know, Roy, she probably heard me yelling at you. … Okay, well you call the hospital. Maybe he wasn't feeling well and called a cab or something. … No, I'll call you back in a few minutes. Chris is still asleep."

Oh no. This is not good. She is going to be so mad when she finds out I'm out here. Johnny slowly rose and headed for the sliding doors leading back into the kitchen. He stopped to listen to the conversation between Joanne and Jennifer, hoping to find the right moment to appear.

"Okay Jennifer. I'm off the phone now. What do you want?"

"Mommy, you don't need to be upset. You didn't lose Uncle Johnny."

"Thank you honey, that's sweet, but it's not so much that I think I lost him, but I just can't find him and I'm worried because he's been sick. But I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure Uncle Johnny will be fine if I don't kill him when I find him."

"But Mommy, you didn't lose Uncle Johnny. He's right there!" Johnny was now standing in the doorway, trying to somehow look pitiful yet healthy at the same time.

"Sorry, Jo. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Johnny Gage, where have you been? What in the world are you doing outside? Why are you even out of bed? Imagine my surprise when I went to check on you at 6 AM and found nothing in the bed but Jennifer's bunny. Then I looked everywhere. I even called Roy. Oh my God, Roy! He's calling hospitals looking of you. I have to call him. Better yet, you call him and explain this to him. Are you okay? Come here and sit down. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I was just worried."

Johnny sat down, not because he needed to, but he didn't want to argue. "I'm fine, Joanne. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I woke up early and decided to sit outside and watch the end of the sunrise. I didn't want to make any noise that might wake you. I guess I fell asleep on the deck chair."

"Well, if I wasn't so relieved to see you, I'd hit you. But you do look healthy enough so I guess I won't be mad. But you do need to call Roy."

Christopher had just walked into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Mornin' Uncle Johnny." Chris wrapped his arms around Johnny's neck and squeezed. Not to be outdone, Jennifer maneuvered her way onto Johnny's lap and kissed his forehead.

"Alright, you two," Joanne said, "you need to let your Uncle Johnny go because he needs to call your Dad. While he's doing that, I'll pour juice for everyone to hold us over till Daddy gets home. Johnny, you can use the phone in the living room if you want some privacy."

"Thanks, Jo." Johnny was not looking forward to this call, but knew he needed to do it now before Roy had any more time to worry. He picked up the phone and dialed the station. Roy answered on the first ring.

"Station 51, Paramedic DeSoto speaking."

"Hey Roy, it's me."

"Where the hell are you? Joanne's frantic. Are you okay?"

Johnny quickly explained the situation and was starting to go into more detail when Roy got called out. As Johnny hung up the phone, the kids asked him to watch cartoons with them. Although that sounded appealing, Johnny decided he had better find Joanne and make sure things were okay. He found her in the kitchen.

"I talked to Roy. He had to hang up because they got a call. But it's only 6:30 so he may still make it home on time. Jo, I really am sorry."

Joanne handed him a cup of coffee, took her own and sat at the kitchen table with her repentant friend. "Don't worry about it, Johnny. I probably over reacted. I don't know, I guess I was nervous about this whole thing, worried that something would go wrong and it would be my fault."

Now that surprised Johnny. "Really? What could have gone wrong, and even if something had gone wrong, how would have been your fault?"

Joanne thought carefully before answering. "I don't know how to put it into words. It's just, well, you and Roy have this great relationship and… I don't know… Do you remember the time you watched the kids? You said you were so nervous because you were so happy that we trusted you to take care of them and you didn't want anything to go wrong? Well, I kind of felt the same way last night. I guess that's silly, but I felt like for the first time Roy trusted me to take care of you, you trusted me, the two of you let me in and I didn't want to do anything to blow that. Pretty silly, huh?"

Joanne thought Johnny would laugh at her, but he didn't. Johnny was shaking his head, thinking about his own hesitations at this arrangement. "Joanne, I think I understand. It's hard sometimes."

Joanne was not going to let it end here because she had a solution in mind. "Johnny, I think I know what the problem is. To me, you're Roy's partner and friend. To you, I'm Roy's wife. Always Roy is standing in the middle. Now I agree that for a long time, that was the simple fact of the matter. But I think we're beyond that now, don't you? Let's just agree, right here and now, that you and I are friends. We know each other because of Roy, but that friendship goes beyond Roy."

This conversation was getting way too serious for John Gage's comfort level. It was definitely time to lighten things up. "Well, okay that sounds good to me. Only thing is, well, I've never been friends with a woman before so you'll have to give me some time to get used to the way things are done. I mean, I don't really have any make up tips to share and I don't think Roy's ever called and asked me to go to the mall, so you'll have to be patient with me."

Joanne threw a dishtowel at him and made a face. "You men. You just don't know how to have fun."

 

The weekend passed without incident. Johnny couldn't honestly say that he felt good, but except for the nagging headache, he didn't feel too bad either. First thing Monday morning he checked in with Walters at Rampart. Johnny was straight with the doctor about his ongoing headache, but everything checked out and Johnny was cleared for work with a reminder to continue the antibiotics till they were gone and keep taking aspirin or Tylenol for the headache.

Back at the station, things were hopping for Roy and Johnny from the first minutes of the shift. The first call of the day was a check on an elderly woman who lived alone and hadn't been answering her phone. The team met the police at the address.

"What have we got?" Roy asked the police as they approached the front door.

"The daughter called us. She lives up in San Francisco, but she calls her mother every morning at 7:00 AM. She tried for an hour this morning but the woman hasn't answered. She called a neighbor who came over and knocked on the door, but got no response. She's worried she can't get to the phone."

"How old is she?" Johnny wanted to know as they waited to see if someone would answer the doorbell.

"Ninety seven. The daughter says she's been in great health and is sharp as a tack."

When no one answered the door after a minute or two, the decision was made to find a way into the house. Roy quickly discovered the back door was open and called the others to join him. As the men entered the house, Johnny called out. "Hello, is anyone here. We're from the fire department."

As he turned the corner he almost tripped over the small woman walking toward him.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" As she was speaking she swung her cane up and hit Johnny right between the legs. It wasn't a hard swing, but it was enough to make his eyes water as he let out a groan and instinctively doubled over and backed away from the swinging cane.

"That's right, you men. I know how to hit where it hurts. Now you better all leave right now."

The younger of the two officers put his hand on his gun and said, "Ma'am, put the cane down right now."

His partner looked at him in disgust. "Ma'am," he took over, "we're from the police department. We didn't mean to frighten you. Your daughter, Margaret, called. She was worried because you didn't answer your phone and you didn't answer the door when your neighbor rang the bell. We thought you might be hurt so we came to check on you."

The woman eyed them with suspicion, but noting that they were all in uniform, decided they may be telling the truth. "Well, let me see your badge or something. I suppose anyone could phony up a uniform."

As the officers pulled out their ID's to show the woman, Roy moved to his partner's side. Part of him wanted to double over in sympathy pain, another part wanted to double over in laughter. "Ah, Johnny, you okay?"

Johnny was still not ready to straighten up, but he nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Roy turned back to the woman who had decided that the badges were legitimate. She was headed over to Johnny.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, young man. But, you just shouldn't sneak up on an old woman like that. My heart may be strong, but it is almost 100 years old and it doesn't like surprises. Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?"

Johnny had regained his composure enough to look up and smile at the woman. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it." He straightened up and reached out his hand. "I'm Johnny. I don't think we know your name."

"Well, my name is Milly, and I would suggest that it is likely proper manners to know the name of the owner of the house you are breaking into."

Johnny grinned. "I'll have to remember that, Milly. We did ring the front door bell, but we got worried when you didn't answer."

Milly would have none of it. "Young man, I'm 97 years old. Just how much time did you figure it might take me to get to the door?"

She had a valid point. It was Roy who answered "You're right. We should have waited longer. But when you hadn't answered your daughter's calls and hadn't answered the neighbor, well, we thought you were likely hurt, and we didn't want to waste any time. But you look like you're in pretty good health to me. How do you feel?"

"Not a day over 80. As for my daughter, well, she made me mad last night, and I just didn't feel like talking to her this morning. And that pesky neighbor, well he just comes over here every morning and if I let him he'd sit in my kitchen and drink my coffee and pester me till lunch time. I just don't have the time for such things. I'm a busy woman, you know."

Johnny liked this woman. "Milly, you know, I sure can understand why you might not want to talk to your daughter if you're mad at her, but maybe next time you should pick up the phone and tell her you aren't talking to her. That way she knows you're okay."

"Well, maybe. But I'm not letting that moocher in here every time he knocks."

Johnny and Roy spent a few more minutes talking to Milly and checked her blood pressure for good measure while they were there. When they left, she was talking to her daughter, letting her know exactly what she thought of whatever it was that had been said the night before.

As they drove back to the station the mood in the squad was lighter than it had been in a few weeks.

"So, you really okay?" Roy asked Johnny, already knowing the answer. "Maybe we should swing by Rampart and asked Morton to check out your injury. Wouldn't want to take any chances with the equipment."

"My 'equipment' is fine and Morton isn't getting within ten feet of that part of my anatomy, thank you. And you're not checking it out either, so don't get any ideas."

"Johnny, believe me when I tell you that I have absolutely no intention of doing any equipment checks of that nature. She was something else, huh?"

"Yeah, I hope if I live to be 97 I'm that much together. You know, I've got a good feeling about things, Roy. Like maybe Milly was the break we've been waiting for to shift our karma or whatever it is that's been so screwed up for the last few weeks."

Roy had been thinking the same thing. "Yeah, if ever there was a call that had bad outcome written on the face of it, a call to the home of a 97 year old who was suddenly not answering her phone sure didn't sound too hopeful."

"Of course, we're lucky we didn't blow it by barging in on her that way. She could have been alive when we arrived but dead of a stroke or heart attack when she saw the four of us in her living room."

"I know. I couldn't believe it when that cop almost pulled his gun on the poor lady. I thought his partner was going to throttle him."

Johnny had missed that one. "Huh? I didn't see him go for his gun."

Roy couldn't help but laugh. "You were rather doubled over at the time. I think it was an expression of sympathy on his part. The look on his face when that cane came up between your legs, we're lucky we didn't have to treat him."

Johnny groaned with a sudden realization. "You're gonna tell everyone about this, aren't you? The crew, the ER staff, by the end of the shift they're all gonna know I got my bell rung by a 97 year old with a cane, aren't they?"

"Some tales are just too good to keep private, my friend."

 

As it turned out, Roy never got the chance to tell the others of Johnny's misfortune. The paramedic team returned to the station only once the entire shift. Between the 15 calls of the day and the follow ups at Rampart, there was never a break. The only time they even saw their fellow fire fighters was at the scene of a major MVA and there was no time for idle talk. But even with all the activity of the day, the shift ended without a fatality.

It was 8:30 Tuesday morning by the time Roy and Johnny delivered the last of their patients to Rampart. As they headed to the desk to restock before bringing the squad back to the station, they were surprised to see Bellingham and Brice standing at the desk, collecting supplies.

"Alright, now I'm totally confused," Johnny said with a look that matched his words. "I thought you guys were on B shift at 51 today. Why aren't you back at the station enjoying a brief respite while you wait for us to get back?"

"Well, Gage," Brice began, "logic dictated that…"

Bellingham interrupted, noticing that Johnny seemed to have zoned out as soon as Brice started talking, and Roy looked like he was going to fall asleep standing up. Neither needed a Brice lecture on logic.

"Captain Stanley told us about the shift you guys had. He and Cap Freeman decided we should meet you here or your shift might never end."

"But the log…" began Roy, only to be interrupted by Bellingham.

"Can wait. We'll put the encounter slips in the log book and you can write them up next shift."

Roy was thrilled, but he still wasn't sure how this was going to work. "I guess we can catch the bus back to the station to get our cars and stuff."

Brice and Bellingham held out two sets of car keys. "How do you think we got here? Gentlemen, your chariots await you in the parking lot." If Bellingham was going to say more, he was stopped by the tones emanating from the HT.

"Squad 51, what's your status?"

Brice took the HT from Johnny and handed him his car keys. "Squad 51 available at Rampart."

"Squad 51, respond to MVA with injuries at Mile 5 Old Canyon Road."

"Thanks, guys!" Roy called out as the B shift exited the hospital. "Hope this is your last call of the day."

Roy poured himself and his partner a cup of coffee, having noticed that Johnny looked as tired as he himself, felt. Turning back to his partner he found him staring at the keys in his hand. "Here," he said, pushing the coffee into Johnny's hands. "You look like you need this before you drive home."

Johnny slipped the keys in his pocket and took the coffee. He still looked confused.

"Hey, are you okay?" Roy asked his friend. "It was a pretty tough first day back. Maybe you should just leave your car and let me drive you home."

"Huh?" Johnny blinked and looked at Roy.

"I said, maybe I should drive you home. But I changed my mind. Maybe we should find Walters and have him check you out. You look pretty out of it. How's your head?"

"Oh, its okay. You know, I think I just fell asleep standing here. I've heard of that happening, but it's never happened to me before."

It had been well over 24 hours since either of them had seen any sleep. "Yeah, well no way you're driving. Come on, we'll come get your car tomorrow. Why don't you come back and sleep at my place?"

Johnny smiled, knowing that his partner wanted to keep an eye on him. "The ride I'll take. The lodging I'll pass. I'm fine. I just need 12 hours in my own bed."

Another day, another time, and Roy might have argued the point. But today sleep seemed the answer to all problems. An hour later both men were sound asleep.

 

Johnny woke from an undisturbed sleep to find the sun had set. Damn, he thought as he looked at the clock, it's almost midnight. Now I'll be up the rest of the night. Johnny rolled over and realized that his head was pounding. In fact, everything ached. That's what I get for sleeping for 14 hours straight. Maybe a hot shower and something to eat will make me feel better. He headed for the bathroom.

Forty-five minutes later, he sat in the kitchen, staring at the untouched english muffin in front of him. Even the coffee wasn't appealing. After the shower had failed to relieve the aches and pains, he had taken one of the Tylenol with codeine. Some of the pain had subsided, but mostly he now felt lousy but dopey. He felt like he had the flu. But he didn't have a fever, he had checked. His arm was showing no signs of infection and although his head ached, the swelling in the back of his head was completely gone. He wasn't sleepy, but he was exhausted, which made no sense to him. No, it wasn't exhausted, at least not like after a good hike in the mountains, it was weary, an overwhelming sense of fatigue.

I probably just over did it. Johnny moved to the couch and found an old Marx Brothers movie on TV. After an hour of watching, though, Johnny turned it off. He seemed to be having trouble concentrating, finding himself suddenly not quite sure what had just happened on screen. It was too frustrating, and he picked up a magazine instead. Even that seemed a chore and eventually he just closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

When Johnny woke again, the sun was up. He was definitely feeling better. His head still ached, but the pounding was gone and a good stretch and another hot shower helped ease the overall weariness that was still present. Although he wasn't hungry, he forced himself to drink a glass of milk and a glass of juice. Try as he might, the cereal remained uneaten. Johnny checked to make sure he still had no fever and his arm remained infection free. He then decided that the way to deal with the feeling of lethargy that was overwhelming him was to reject it entirely. Johnny got dressed, grabbed his car keys, and headed for the bus stop. It would take two transfers, but Johnny could get back to his car and bring it home. If he wasn't feeling better by the time he got to the hospital, he would find Walters and check things out.

It should have taken Johnny less than an hour to get to Rampart by bus, but somehow, he had missed one of his stops, although he really couldn't remember even seeing it. As soon as he realized his mistake, he got off the bus and walked thefour blocks back to catch the next connection. By the time he got to his car he was tired and frustrated. He briefly considered going in, but decided against it when he saw three ambulances arrive at the same time. Instead, he got in the Rover and headed home.

The ride home was not without incident, and Johnny found himself wishing he had made a different decision at the hospital. Once he sat through a whole green light cycle before realizing that the driver behind him was leaning on his horn. Then he realized that he had missed his turn, but couldn't remember passing it. Never before had Johnny had this much trouble concentrating. It was beginning to worry him.

Back home, Johnny fixed a cup of coffee and made himself eat an apple. Maybe my electrolytes are off. By noon time Johnny decided the problem was more than electrolytes and decided to call the hospital. As he dialed he wondered if Walters was in. For all the time they had spent at the hospital on Monday, they barely crossed paths with him. Mostly they dealt with Morton who seemed to be on the other end of the radio for every call.

Betty answered the phone at the ER desk. "Uh, hi Betty. This is John Gage… No, I'm off duty today… I need to speak to Dr. Walters, is he around?… Yeah, he could call me back, let me give you my number."

Johnny only had to wait a few minutes for the doctor to call him back. He explained that he was having a lot of trouble focusing on things, he was feeling tired even though he had gotten plenty of sleep, he ached all over, and he had no appetite. He explained that his mind was wandering so badly that he couldn't even watch a movie. Walters agreed that Johnny needed to be seen and asked him to come in as soon as he could get there. He strongly suggested, rather insisted, that Johnny not drive himself.

Normally Johnny would have argued that point, but after his tribulations driving home, he wouldn't have driven himself even if Walters hadn't specified that restriction. He picked up the phone to call Roy.

It was Joanne who answered. "Hi, Johnny. Did you get some sleep? How are you feeling?"

"Hi Jo. Yeah I slept for hours, the whole day actually. How about your hubby? I hope he got some sleep as well."

"Oh you know Roy. Once he's home in his own bed, a train running through the kitchen wouldn't wake him up. I finally had to wake him up to eat dinner. He went back to sleep later though. Roy was going to call you later to figure out about your car. Do you want to come to dinner tonight? He'll come get you. You guys can go get the car either before or after dinner."

"Actually I already have the car. I'm not sure about dinner. It sounds good, but I'm still pretty wiped out. Is Roy around?"

"Not at the moment. He took the kids to their dentist appointment. He just left. I think he was going to take them to McDonald's afterwards for lunch. He should be back in a couple of hours. Do you want me to have him call you?"

Something in Johnny's voice when he said no, he'd call Roy later, gave Joanne reason for concern. She wasn't sure what it was, but she didn't want to just hang up.

"Johnny, are you okay?"

"Sure… Well, actually I'm not so okay. I haven't been feeling great today and I guess I need to go check in with Doctor Walters over at Rampart. He doesn't want me to drive so I was hoping Roy could give me a ride. But that's okay. I'll call a cab. Tell Roy I'll call him later."

"Don't be ridiculous. I can come get you. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Just give me time to leave a note for Roy then I'll be right there. Johnny, is it okay for you to wait? Should I call a squad for you?"

Johnny gasped at the thought. "Oh God, no Joanne! Don't call a squad! Look, I can just call a cab. I don't want to put you out."

"Hey, I thought we went through this already. We're friends now, remember? Friends do things to help each other. So I'll be there in 15 minutes. And if you behave, after your doctor's visit I'll take you to the mall or if you're really up for some fun, we could go to the beauty parlor!"

Johnny laughed. "Be still my heart. Hey, wait a minute, isn't a beauty parlor where they cut hair? The chief put you up to this, didn't he?"

"You'll never know. I'll be there in a jiffy. Sit down and wait for me."

 

As promised, Joanne arrived in 15 minutes and 30 minutes after that, Johnny was sitting on an exam table in a hospital gown, explaining his symptoms to an attentive Dr. Walters.

Walters summed up what Johnny had told him. "Okay, so you're having trouble concentrating and focusing, you're having trouble getting out of bed, you feel fatigued and lethargic, you've lost your appetite, you're achy and you have a headache. You don't have any fever, no trouble with your vision or balance, and no specific pain in your arm. You've been taking your antibiotic and Tylenol and this morning you took a Tylenol with codeine because of the pain. Anything I heard wrong or missed?"

"No, that's about it. The trouble concentrating seems to be getting better though. It hasn't happened in a while. It's probably no big deal. I don't want to waste your time."

Walters did a neuro check as he continued to question Johnny. "Follow my pen with your eyes. Good. So why do you think you're wasting my time?"

"I don't know. Just, I'm probably okay, just tired after Monday's shift."

"Push as hard as you can against my hands. Okay, how's your mood?"

That question surprised Johnny. "Huh?"

"Squeeze my hand. Your mood. You know. Have you been depressed, anxious, irritable, angry, happy, sad, worried, etc.? How is your mood?"

"Okay, I guess. Normal. Why?"

Walters didn't answer but finished with the neurological exam and checked Johnny for any signs of infection or other problems. He found none.

"Okay John. You're going to be fine. Why don't you get dressed and I'll be right back and we'll talk." Johnny was confused at this turn of events, but nodded and said nothing. By the time Walters returned, Johnny was dressed and pacing, now worried and somewhat irritated at Walter's manner.

 

Twenty minutes later, Johnny exited the treatment room and was surprised to find Roy waiting for him instead of Joanne.

"Hey, I thought you were at the dentist then McDonald's. How did you end up here? Where's Joanne? Boy you guys must be beginning to think I'm a royal pain. Like you want to spend your day off in the emergency room."

Roy couldn't help but notice the similarities between Johnny and his wife. Both could jump from one topic to the next quicker than he could follow. Neither of them thought there was anything unusual about that thought process.

"I was at the dentist. We decided to stop and pick up Joanne for lunch and I found her note. So she's out with a bunch of screaming kids, clogging her arteries with animal fat and I'm here waiting for you. I think I got the better end of the bargain. So what did the doctor say?"

"Come on, I'll buy you something to clog your arteries without the screaming kids and I'll tell you all about it. I want to get out of this place."

"Sounds like a deal to me."

Johnny said nothing as they drove through their favorite hamburger joint, deciding to park and eat in the car rather than go in. If Roy noticed that Johnny didn't eat any of his burger, he didn't comment. Finally Roy broke the silence.

"Okay, spill. What did Walters say? Obviously he wasn't too worried since he discharged you. He did discharge you, didn't he?"

"So you think I'd put out your wife to bring me to the hospital on my day off then ignore medical advice? Great opinion you have of me, pal."

Roy ignored the comment and asked again. "Okay, so you were discharged. What did he say?"

"He said I'm depressed! Can you believe it? He thinks I'm depressed."

Roy was about to say that was ridiculous, but then stopped. Instead he asked, "Are you?"

"NO! Well, I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, I'm not sad or anything like that. I certainly haven't been crying and God knows I'm not feeling like hurting myself or anything stupid like that. No. I don't think I'm depressed. But Walters is convinced. He says that depression doesn't always 'manifest' itself that way. He says that he thinks I'm withdrawn and sullen. He gave me this test thing to fill out. Some depression scale or something like that. I guess I flunked. I don't know, Roy. I mean, maybe he's right. I tried to answer honestly, you know? And I answered yes to almost everything. I'm tired. I have trouble getting out of bed. I can't concentrate. My memory is shot. Last night I tried to watch this Marx Brothers movie. I love them. And I didn't enjoy it. I couldn't even focus on it. That's two symptoms of depression, I guess. Loss of enjoyment in something you like and trouble focusing. I'm fatigued. That's what he called it. I'm having aches and pains for no reason. I have no appetite. I'm irritable. It all fits. But I just don't think I'm depressed. But he says he's sure of it."

Roy thought it was ridiculous. But with the litany of symptoms Johnny just listed, maybe he was wrong. "What does he think you should do about it?"

"Counseling, antidepressants, and a stress management group. Can you believe it? He wants me in group therapy."

"So what are you gonna do?"

Johnny shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I can't do the group. No way. It meets the same night every week and I just can't pull that off. The other stuff, I don't know. I told him I'd think about it." Johnny paused. "He threatened to pull me off duty if I didn't comply, Roy. He said if I don't see a counselor and start antidepressants he'd pull me off duty. I just don't believe all this. I don't know what to do."

"So what does he want you to do next?" Roy was trying to stay noncommittal, not wanting Johnny to pick up on his doubts.

Johnny shrugged. "He gave me a script for something called amitriptyline. You should see the list of side effects. He also gave me an appointment with a psychologist for tonight. He's not wasting any time. If I don't keep the appointment tonight, I don't report to work tomorrow. I guess I'll keep the appointment."

"You gonna take the medicine?"

"No. Not today anyway. The side effects sound worse than the symptoms. If you weren't depressed when you started, you sure would be after being on that drug for a while. I mean, I suppose I could cope with the weight gain and dry mouth, but impotence and decreased sex drive? Who wouldn't be depressed? Nope. No way."

Roy was silent. Johnny took it for disapproval. He was expecting as much from his partner. "Okay, just say it!"

"Say what?"

"Say what's on your mind. Tell me I'm making a big mistake. I know you're thinking it so you might as well just say it."

"Actually, I don't think you do know what I'm thinking."

"Okay. So enlighten me."

"I agree you should see the counselor tonight so that Walters doesn't pull you, although, another day off might be just the thing you need. But that's not the way to get it. But as for the medication, I think you should wait until Brackett gets back. Or Early. Get their opinion first. That's what I think."

"Oh… Yeah… Well that's what I think too."

Since Johnny still didn't feel like driving he had no choice but to take Roy up on his offer to spend the afternoon at his place then get a ride back to Rampart for his evening appointment. Then Roy would bring him home. If he still didn't feel like driving in the morning he would need to call in sick. If he couldn't drive, he couldn't work.

 

Roy had to admit he was surprised to see Johnny at the station Thursday morning. But he looked better and said he was feeling much better. Johnny had told him things had gone okay with the counselor. She was nice enough and listened to his concerns. But she kept stressing that he clearly was depressed and he needed to follow the doctor's orders for the medication. Finally Johnny gave in and told her he would. He had no intention of doing that, however.

Thursday was a very slow day. The calls were few and far between and none of them strenuous, a complete opposite of their last shift. Roy and Johnny had time to update their log. Johnny seemed okay if you didn't look too closely. But Roy noticed that several times he suddenly stared off into space seeming to not notice what was happening around him for a few moments. Roy was worried about what would happen if they got called to a fire, but Walters had cleared him to work and Johnny had told him everything. Roy would just have to keep an eye on him for now. Luckily, the shift was fire free and the rescues all medical.

Just before the shift ended, Captain Stanley pulled Roy aside. "Roy, is Johnny okay? Twice this morning I had to repeat myself before he seemed to listen. If it wasn't the end of a shift, I'd have been worried."

"I don't know, Cap. Walters says he's okay. He went in Wednesday for a check. I know he was straight with the doc, so I guess he's okay. But I know what you mean. He seems off somehow. The easy shift and 2 more days off will probably fix it. After that shift on Monday, I'm not surprised he had an off day."

"Okay. But if he's like this next shift, I'm sending him home."

"Cap, if he's like this next shift, I'll have Joanne and the kids sit on him to keep him home."

Sunday morning came far too quickly. Johnny set his alarm for 6:00 AM, hoping he would be able to pull himself together with a walk and a long shower before work. He had had another appointment with the counselor the day before and she had suggested that he force himself to follow his usual routine and do things that normally brought him pleasure, even if it didn't feel good now. But this morning as he walked, he began to feel dizzy. This was new. But then, he hadn't eaten yet and he figured that was it.

By the time Johnny got to work he was feeling a little better. He ached all over, but that had been defined as somatic pain and he was told to work his way through it. The lapses in concentration were supposed to get better with the medication. If he had been taking the medication he might have known if that were helping or not. But, he figured that if he just forced himself to focus on what was happening, he would be okay.

The first run of the day was simple. A woman with chest pains. Her EKG was normal and Dr. Walters diagnosed her as suffering from anxiety. Indeed, her symptoms did dissipate with a tranquilizer. Johnny was thinking about reconsidering the medication he had been prescribed when he realized that the woman was talking to him and he had not been listening. Normally she may have been upset, but the drugs in her system were certainly not going to allow her to be upset about anything. Instead she just repeated her question. Johnny, however, was anything but calm.

After bringing the patient into the treatment room with Walters, Johnny found Roy and told him about what had happened.

"I'm telling you, Roy, I had no idea she was talking to me. What if she had been trying to tell me about something that was happening instead of asking me if I was married? What if she had gone into cardiac arrest and I missed it even for a second. Then what? Roy, this isn't gonna work. What am I gonna do?"

Roy spotted Mike Morton headed toward the doctor's lounge. "The first thing we're going to do is get a second opinion. Come on. Let's go talk to Morton."

"Morton? You've got to be kidding. He'll lock me up in the loony bin for sure."

"He knows you, Johnny. Walters doesn't. Come on."

Roy and Johnny caught up with Doctor Morton in the doctor's lounge. "Hi guys, what's up? How are you feeling, Johnny?"

Johnny paused, not sure he really wanted to go here, but then there were not many choices open. "Well, Doc, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." Johnny and Roy went on to explain the situation. "So, I was kind of hoping you could give me a second opinion, you know, as someone who knows me."

Before Morton could respond, the HT rang out with their tones.

"Guess it will have to wait, Doc," Roy said as Johnny responded to dispatch.

Morton stepped in front of the men as they headed for the door. "John, call in unavailable. Let someone else take the call. Let's check this out now."

Johnny thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. "Look, we're only five minutes from the call. Another squad will take twenty to get here. It's a 'child down'. No heavy lifting involved, but no way I'm going to be the cause of a delay. I'll let Roy run the rescue then I'll catch you when we get back. If you still think I should call out then, I will. See you in a bit." Johnny and Roy left before Morton could object.

Morton paced the floor. He shouldn't have let them leave. If something happened to John or to another one of the men or the patient because of John, he would have to shoulder some of the blame. He could have stopped him. He could have insisted. If Johnny was losing his focus, blanking out, he could put everyone at risk. Morton was so lost in thought that he didn't see Pete Walters until he bumped right into him.

"You look like a man with a problem, Mike. What's up?" Walters asked the troubled doctor.

"John Gage. He was just in here with Roy. He told me about what happened and the symptoms he's been having. He asked for an opinion from someone who knows him. I was just about to check him out when they got a call. I should have stopped him from going, Pete."

"Mike, Gage is depressed. It's a clear cut case. He's obsessing about his symptoms because he doesn't want to admit that the problem is psychological. Do me a favor. Don't give into him. Tell him you reviewed his case with me and you agree that depression is the right diagnosis. I've had him seeing a counselor. He's trying to convince her he's not depressed too, but she's working with me to get past his denial. Don't give him an out, Mike. Make him face the problem and deal with it."

"You know, Pete, I just don't see Gage as depressed. But even if he is, this lack of concentration thing is a danger whatever the cause. He shouldn't be working."

"I appreciate your concern, Mike, but I haven't seen any lack of concentration when he wants to focus. I'm sure he's doing just fine in the field. DeSoto would be the first one to say if he wasn't. Just support me on this, Mike. It's the only way things will get better. He can't solve the depression if he won't admit it exists."

The arrival of an ambulance brought an end to the conversation. And, as it turned out, 51's call didn't result in a transport, and the men went out on another call before ending up back in the emergency room. This call had not been so simple. A man and his car had ended up over a cliff. It would have been a relatively simple two man rescue, but Roy didn't dare let Johnny climb. Instead Marco made the climb with Roy. Once back up the top, Roy had to repeat instructions to Johnny twice during treatment. Before they headed for the hospital, Roy spoke to Captain Stanley and Stanley put the squad out of service until a replacement could be arranged. Johnny agreed with the plan and even agreed to let Chet drive the squad back to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, Roy and Johnny quickly found Mike Morton. They expected Morton to give them hell for taking the second call. They expected him to drag Johnny into a treatment room, complaining about his inability to save a fool from himself. They didn't expect the reaction that they got.

"Listen, John, I talked to Dr. Walters and looked at your chart. I agree with his diagnosis. You're depressed and the best thing you can do is take the medication and go to counseling. If it's interfering with your job, you should take a medical leave. Depression is an illness. It's a legitimate use of sick time. You know, the medication takes a while to kick in, sometimes as long as 6 weeks. You need to give it time."

Johnny shrugged and walked away. Roy didn't.

"I don't believe this! Come on, Morton. You know him. I know him, better than anyone. I'm telling you, this is not depression. Something is wrong and someone is going to help us find out what it is. When is Doctor Early coming back? I can't believe you won't even check him over!"

Morton was taken aback by Roy's tirade. He was used to seeing Johnny worked into a rage, not Roy. "Roy, you need to understand. Johnny needs to get past his denial, and you are just feeding it. If I check him out, I'm just feeding it as well. I know he saw the counselor, but if he's just going through the motions to satisfy Walters then he isn't really giving it a chance, is he?"

"Is that what she said? Did she say he's just going through the motions? She's wrong. You're wrong. Johnny deserves better." With that, Roy turned around and left to find his partner.

 

Johnny rode with Roy and Chet back to the station. On the way back they discussed their options. Chet pointed out the obvious course of action.

"Uh, guys, isn't Johnny supposed to pick up Brackett and Dixie at the airport tomorrow?"

It was quickly decided that Johnny would stay with the DeSotos for the afternoon and night. They would consult with Brackett tomorrow.

By the time Roy arrived home Monday morning, Johnny was feeling better. But the improvement waned as the day wore on. Roy and Johnny had planned to both go to the airport. Now, Roy convinced Johnny to stay home with Joanne while he went.

"Roy, no talking to Brackett about this today, right? I'll see him in the morning, but not today. Don't go messing up his vacation for this. Roy? Roy? Roy! Promise me! This can wait till tomorrow."

Roy was not going to make that promise. "I'll tell you what. I have to bring them back here to get their car. I'll wait till they get here. Then I'll decide." Johnny was unhappy, but there was nothing he could do so he accepted the deal.

 

LAX was mobbed. The arrival screen said the flight was due in on schedule, but it was supposed to have landed 15 minutes ago and there was no sign of Brackett, Dixie, or anyone else who looked like they had recently been in Hawaii for that matter. Roy was about to find someone to ask when a few people began to trickle out of the gate. Brackett and Dixie were the next to last people out. Roy caught their attention without difficulty, even though they had been expecting Johnny.

"Hey, Roy." Brackett shook his hand while Dixie kissed his cheek and put a lei around his neck. "Good to see you, though I can't honestly say it's good to be home. I'll tell you, you and Joanne need to go to Hawaii some day. It's incredible. Just awe inspiring."

Roy grabbed Dixie's bag as they headed toward the baggage claim. Brackett continued to tell Roy about the sights in Hawaii as they walked. It only took Dixie a few minutes to tune into the tension in Roy's posture and voice.

"So Roy, not that it isn't good to see you, but I thought your partner was going to meet us. How did you get stuck with this enviable task? Where's Johnny?" Dixie silently prayed that the answer was that Johnny had a date. She suspected Johnny was once again on the injured list.

"Last time I saw him, he was asleep on my couch with my four year old asleep lying on top of him. I couldn't bear to wake him up so here I am." It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

The announcement was being made just as they arrived at the baggage claim area. "Attention, due to an equipment failure, all baggage will be retrieved at baggage carrousel A. Flight 2552 from Chicago is now being unloaded." The announcer went on to read the list and order of flights whose luggage would be retrieved from carrousel A. The flight from Hawaii was 4^th in queue. Dixie grabbed the men's hands and pulled them to three seats in a quiet corner.

"We might as well be comfortable. It's going to be at least a half hour," she offered as explanation for her actions. "Besides, we need someplace quiet to talk while Roy tells us what's wrong."

Roy's head shot up at that comment and he found himself looking into Dixie's concerned and determined eyes. Brackett just looked confused.

"Come on, Roy, I know you. Do you really think that after all this time I can't tell when something is wrong? Is it Johnny? Why isn't he here, really?"

Roy hesitated. He didn't deny anything, Brackett noted. He now understood Dixie's concern.

"Look, Roy, if something's wrong we'll find out soon enough. You might as well tell us now."

"It's not all that easy. I'm not sure if something is wrong or not. You guys are still on vacation. And, quite an interesting one I might add, if we interpreted the postcard correctly."

Dixie grinned and Brackett actually blushed. "Well, let's just say we explored some options and leave it at that for the moment," Brackett said.

"But boy was the exploration interesting," Dixie added, much to Brackett's dismay.

"Dix, I thought we agreed… wait a minute. I know what you did, DeSoto, good diversionary technique. Now, tell us about your partner or whatever else it is that has you so worried."

Roy shook his head. "I think it's you creating the diversion, Doc," he said, "but okay, you're right. Johnny's got a problem."

All joking stopped. "Is he in the hospital?" asked Dixie.

"No, but I think he should be."

That comment got Brackett upset. "When is he going to learn that he's not invincible? He may have nine lives, but even so, he can't do it on his own and ignore medical advice. What's wrong? What happened?"

This was harder than Roy thought it would be. "Actually Doc, it's not Johnny who's refusing medical care. It's the folks at Rampart doing the refusing."

"Okay, now you've lost me."

"Look, Doc, this is hard. I'll tell you everything, but by the time I've finished, you're likely going to think that I've got delusions of grandeur, second guessing the doctors. And frankly, that's exactly what I'm doing, including Morton and Walters. I know Walters is a friend of yours, but you gotta hear me out on this, okay?"

It had been a long time since Brackett had seen Roy this agitated. "Roy, I don't care who my friends are. And if you're second guessing a doctor, or doctors, my guess is you have good reason. I may not agree with you in the end, but I'll sure as hell listen to what you have to say. So don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings, and tell me what's going on."

Roy took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Well, you know about the kids we lost before you left. It didn't get better, not right away. We lost three more to a river drowning the next shift." Roy went on to tell them about the garage collapse and the problems Johnny had been having. He told them that Walters insisted that Johnny was physically fine but depressed.

"Only Johnny isn't okay. His headache has never gone away. He keeps losing his concentration and focus. It's like he's not even in the room sometimes. He hurts all over. He's exhausted even though he's sleeping like crazy. He's not eating. And now, today, he's dizzy. I tried to tell Walters that something else was wrong. But he said I was just feeding into Johnny's denial."

Dixie interrupted. "What did Joe Early have to say about this?"

"He's been out sick with pneumonia. We talked to Mike Morton yesterday. At first he seemed concerned, wanted to pull Johnny out of service. But we got a call and by the time we got back, Morton had changed his tune. He said he'd reviewed the case with Walters and the sooner Johnny accepted that he was depressed the better. He didn't even want to hear that Johnny had zoned out with a patient. In the end, Johnny, Cap and I decided Johnny needed to go home. He went to my house. He's still there.

"Look, Doc, Johnny's not being oppositional here. He's meeting with the counselor. But I'll be honest, he decided not to take the antidepressant and I agreed that he should wait until he talked to you. But the way things are right now, he can't work. I'm real worried. He is too."

 

The ride back to Roy's house was mostly silent. Kel Brackett didn't know what to make of what Roy had told him. Brackett knew and trusted both Pete Walters and Mike Morton. He had no reason to question their conclusions. But he also trusted Roy and he knew that Roy was not prone to exaggeration or undue anxiety. If Roy was worried, there was reason for concern.

As they pulled into the DeSoto driveway, Roy broke the silence. "Look, Doc, Johnny really didn't want me to talk to you about this until you were back on duty tomorrow. I'm sorry I messed up the end of your vacation and I do understand that I've put you in a difficult situation here. If there had been any other choice…"

Brackett was honestly surprised. "Roy, do you really think that I would have wanted you to keep quiet about this until tomorrow? Believe me, my vacation ended the minute we stepped foot in the airport in Honolulu. I hate to fly. But even if that hadn't been the case, I still would have wanted to know. As for being in a difficult situation, that's just not the case. If I think Walters and Morton are wrong, I'll deal with them about that. If I think they're right, well, then we'll have to deal with that too. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

Roy couldn't help but notice that Brackett put his arm around Dixie's shoulder as they walked to the house. It was one of many subtle differences he had noticed once he got his current dilemma off his chest. He wondered if Johnny would notice.

Roy was surprised to find the house quiet when he entered. For the briefest moment he panicked, thinking that Johnny must have gotten worse and Joanne had taken him and the kids off to the hospital. But then he heard the splash from the pool out back. They found Johnny and Joanne sitting on the deck. Chris and two of his friends were in the pool. Although in her bathing suit, Jennifer clearly had not been in the pool. Instead she sat in a chair pulled up against Johnny's, never taking her eyes off of him, even when Roy said hello.

Johnny got up and shook hands with Brackett and gave Dixie a quick hug. "Hope you didn't get too confused with our last minute bait and switch on your ride. How was the trip? I know you're probably anxious to get home, but first I just have to know about the post card. Did I read it right? Are the two of you dating again?"

Dixie looked him over carefully, hoping she wasn't too obvious as she responded. "You know, John Gage, subtlety never was your strong point. And a lady never kisses and tells." She looked pointedly at Kel. "And neither does her man, does he?"

If anyone missed her reference to "her man" it was only Jennifer who was too young to know it meant anything. Johnny punched Brackett playfully in the shoulder. "I knew you had it in ya, Doc."

Brackett was about to deny everything when he felt a tug at his shirt. He looked down to see Jennifer DeSoto looking at him with a very serious expression.

"Mr. Doctor, me and Chris need to talk to you but it needs to be confident."

Brackett had no idea what she meant but she grabbed his hand and pulled him over toward the pool.

"Come on, Chris," Jenny called to her brother. "We need to have a confident talk with Mr. Doctor." Chris immediately got out of the pool, leaving his friends behind without hesitation. Clearly this had been preplanned. Jennifer looked up at Brackett again and asked, "My mommy said that anything someone says to a doctor is confident and he has to listen and can't tell nobody. Is that true?"

Brackett was confused but somewhat amused by what was happening. He was about to answer but was beat to it by Roy who was suddenly at his side.

"Jennifer, the word is confidential and it means private and sometimes its true, but Dr. Brackett isn't your doctor and he doesn't have time to play right now. Why don't you go swimming with the other kids so that the adults can talk for a few minutes."

"This isn't playing, Daddy," Jennifer said with an indignant tone.

Chris joined in his sister's defense. "Yeah Dad. Jen and I talked about it. You promised Uncle Johnny you wouldn't tell Dr. Brackett he'd been hurt until tomorrow, but we didn't promise so we decided we should tell him today."

"Yeah, Daddy," Jennifer jumped back in. "See, I wasn't playing. I haven't played all afternoon. I just sat and watched Uncle Johnny until Mr. Doctor could get here 'cause you said he was the best doctor you know'd and Mommy said Uncle Johnny needs to see a good doctor instead of the duck he saw."

"Quack!" Chris corrected his sister. "Mom said quack not duck, you doofus."

"Moron!"

"Am not, you idiot!"

"Stupid face!"

"Enough!" said Roy in a voice that neither Brackett nor Dixie had ever heard before.

Brackett squatted down so that he was on eye level with Jennifer. He looked at her and Chris. "Your Uncle Johnny is lucky to have the two of you watching out for him and you can talk to me in confidence any time. But you know what? Your dad was so worried about your Uncle Johnny that nurse Dixie figured out right away that something was wrong and she made your dad tell us all about it."

Brackett was fully aware that Johnny was listening to all of this. The groan from the other side of the deck confirmed it. "So I promise you I'll look after your Uncle Johnny now if you promise me you'll help your mom and dad look out for him later. Do we have a deal?"

The kids agreed. Satisfied that they had accomplished their mission, Jennifer ran and did a cannon ball, followed by Chris who let out a Tarzan yell as he leapt into the pool.

Brackett and Roy returned to the deck where Johnny glared at both of them. Roy threw up his hands in defense. "Hey, don't blame me. Blame Dixie. She was all over me within minutes. I guess I'm not real good at hiding it when I'm worried."

Before Johnny could say anything, Brackett spoke up. "Look, Johnny, Roy told us what's been going on. From what he said, clearly something is wrong. I can't promise I won't end up agreeing with Pete Walters, but I think the two of you are right that it deserves a second look. So why don't we head over the Rampart now and figure out what's up?"

Johnny was now irritated. "See, this is why I didn't want Roy to tell you today. Believe me, Doc, I'm thrilled that you're back. But nothing can be done tonight that can't wait until you're back on duty tomorrow. There is absolutely no need for you to end your vacation one minute before scheduled."

The adults were momentarily distracted by an argument in the pool. All it took was one step toward the pool by Roy and the argument immediately stopped. However, the interruption was enough for Joanne to break in with a suggestion she hoped would ease the building tension.

"Guys, I don't know about you all, but I'm famished. I figured the two of you may be hungry after being on a plane all day so I made some corn chowder and corn bread with fresh summer corn. I also have a pitcher of lemonade and some beers cooling in the fridge. What do you say, can we talk about this over a light supper?"

As good as that sounded to Dixie, she suspected that they should pass and move this process along. It would already be a long night. She waited for Kel to answer, but he never did. She looked at him to find him staring at Johnny.

"Johnny? Hey, what's happening? Can you hear me?" Brackett touched Johnny's arm. Johnny was standing there with no obvious outward appearance of a change. But he was not responsive to what Brackett had just said. Nor did he respond to the touch. Brackett spoke his name again, this time more forcefully. This time Johnny looked at him.

"Huh? I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Roy was now at Johnny's side and Dixie stood ready to jump in. "What just happened here?" Brackett asked Johnny.

Johnny shook his head. "I don't know."

"Sit down," Brackett instructed, not taking his eyes off of the man in front of him.

"Huh? Um, I'm fine."

"Okay. But sit down."

Johnny sat. Brackett pulled up a chair so that he could sit directly in front of Johnny.

"Johnny, what did Joanne just say. Do you know?"

Johnny shook his head. "Sorry, I guess I did it again. I guess my mind drifted."

"Did it?" Brackett asked. "What were you thinking about just now when you drifted? Do you know?"

Johnny thought for a second then shook his head.

"Johnny, Roy, think about this. What just happened here, is this what you're talking about when you talk about trouble concentrating and focusing? Is this what happens?"

Johnny answered for both of them. "Yeah, for the most part. This is what happened the other day during the rescue when I decided to pull myself off duty."

Joanne added her observations. "Johnny, its been happening a lot today. It's like suddenly you're not here and then you are again."

Brackett turned to Roy. "Do you have a flashlight I could use?" Roy nodded and asked Joanne to get his pack out of the closet.

Brackett asked Johnny to tell him more about when he first started noticing the lapses in concentration. Both paramedics agreed that it had begun four days after he was injured. Roy described the incident at the hospital when Brice and Bellingham had given them their keys after that horrible shift. Johnny agreed that that was perhaps the first time it happened.

Joanne returned and handed Roy's pack to Dr. Brackett. Brackett opened it and was surprised to find not only a pen light, but a BP cuff, a stethoscope, and numerous other first aid supplies. He took the pen light and handed the rest to Roy.

"Impressive supplies, Roy. Put them to good use and get me a BP, will you?"

Johnny was trying to be patient, but as he allowed Brackett to check his pupil response and followed his instructions to follow the light etc, his anxiety grew.

"So Doc, tell me what you're thinking here. The suspense is killing me."

Brackett sat back in his chair and in typical fashion, crossed his arms across his chest before speaking.

"You may be depressed, but that has nothing to do with what just happened here. I'd need an EEG to confirm it, but I think you just had a seizure."

Joanne was startled at this news. "You mean he has epilepsy?" she asked.

"Joanne!" Roy said sharply, immediately regretting his tone. Johnny explained it to Joanne.

"Not all seizures are epilepsy, Jo. They can be caused by any number of things, including a head injury."

"But I don't understand," Joanne continued. "I had a friend who used to have seizures. Nothing like that happened to you. I mean, I was here watching with the rest of you. You never even twitched."

"A seizure is a disturbance in the electrical impulses in the brain," Brackett explained, partly for Joanne's benefit but mostly in case Johnny needed to hear it again. "What you're thinking about is a grand mal seizure. That happens when all the nerves in the brain start misfiring. But some seizures are more localized. If this was a seizure, it was a complex partial seizure. With this kind of seizure people remain conscious, sometimes they can even continue gross motor functions. Other people may have no idea something is wrong unless they try to interact with the patient at the moment it's happening."

Johnny was trying to remember his training on seizures. "Okay, but what about the abnormal muscle movements and the pre-seizure aura that usually go with small seizures like that. I haven't had any of those things."

"Usually being the operative word, Johnny. Most often they are present. Sometimes, they aren't."

Now it was Roy's turn. "But the injury was to the back of his head, the occipital lobe. Those injuries don't usually result in partial seizures, right?"

Brackett was impressed with how much the paramedics actually knew about the differential diagnosis of seizures and he told them so. "Clearly you both remember your training and then some. However, the blow to the back of the head could have caused a secondary momentum injury to the brain in the front of the head. Or, there could have been another blow you don't remember. In any case, speculation is all fine and good, but we should get over to Rampart and get some scientific data to back all this up.

"Dix, why don't you take the car and head home and get a good night's sleep." Anticipating her objection he added, "There's really not much you can do. I'm just going to order some tests then wait around for the results. Better that you be fresh to help me with all the fall out tomorrow."

Johnny cut in. "Better you both be rested. I'll say it again, Doc. Nothing is happening tonight that hasn't been happening for days now. Let's just deal with it in the morning. If it makes you feel any better, I'll stay here tonight so Roy can keep an eye on me.

Roy was about to vehemently object to that course of action, but he didn't need to. Brackett vetoed the plan.

"Two things. First of all, its going to be a whole lot easier for me to deal with this tonight than in the morning. Tonight I'm not even supposed to be there. You'll have my undivided attention. By tomorrow morning, everyone is going to want a piece of me, not to mention the fact that along with dealing with everything that didn't get done while I was away, I'll have to be attending to patients.

"Second, you're wrong that this can wait until tomorrow. It shouldn't have waited until tonight. If these are seizures, they're likely increasing in frequency because whatever is causing them is increasing in severity. We'll do a CAT scan and an angiogram if necessary. If it's a blood clot and an active bleed, which seems most likely, we'll get a neurosurgeon and fix it tonight or first thing in the morning."

Johnny wasn't sure what he was expecting when he had wished for someone to tell him this was injury related, not depression. But this was not it. But he had no grounds on which to argue. At least he hadn't until Roy made his own suggestion.

"Doc, do you think we should call a squad?"

"No way! Come on! Give me some kind of break here."

Brackett was glad to see a bit of the stubborn young man he knew shining through the moment. "Okay, no squad. Roy, can you drive? I'll ride in the back with our victim here." Brackett knew the word victim would get Johnny riled up.

"Victim? Hey the only thing I'm a victim of is an emergency room doctor who envisions himself as tomorrow's premier psychiatrist!"

Something about that comment triggered something for Brackett. He would have to look into it later.

 

Johnny lay on a gurney in the emergency room, counting the ceiling tiles for the umpteenth time. Roy sat at his side, but they had run out of things to talk about a while ago. He had seen no one but Roy since a nurse he didn't know had come in a half hour ago and changed the IV bag, telling him that Dr. Brackett had changed his antibiotic order. Since arriving 3 hours ago, Johnny had been poked, prodded, siphoned, x-rayed, CAT scanned, EEG'd, and EKG'd. He was annoyed that the heart monitor was still attached. He and Roy had talked and speculated that he was, indeed, headed for surgery. They had talked about what bills would need to be paid, what to do about time out from work, who to call, and who not to call. Johnny couldn't stand the silence.

"You know, Roy, I figured it out."

"That's good. What did you figure out?"

"Why this is so weird. Usually someone gets hurt, its rush into the ER, a flurry of activity, then the victim is rushed off to surgery, or ICU, or just a room, or whatever."

"Are we talking any victim in general, or you specifically?"

"Okay, me specifically I guess. I'm not used to having time to contemplate all of this. I think I like it better the other way."

"Well, I have to admit, it is different. I'll tell you what, if either of us walks away from this saying, 'if only I had said,' well, we have no excuse."

"Speaking of that…" Johnny hesitated.

Roy wasn't sure what was coming, but he was fairly sure he didn't want to hear it. But he asked just the same. "What?"

"I don't have much in the way of belongings, but I have a will. That and my other stuff is in a lock box in my closet." Johnny felt better for saying that.

Roy did not. "I'm not going to need it. But where's the key?"

"What key?"

"To the lock box."

"Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure it ever even had one. It's not locked."

Roy might have asked what the use of a lock box without a key was, but Brackett picked that moment to enter the treatment room.

If Brackett was tired, he was doing a good job hiding it. "So, how many ceiling tiles are there tonight?" he asked as he went to the cabinet and removed some supplies.

Johnny was watching him intently, not sure what new torture the good doctor had in store for him. "85 and a half."

"Ah, so you added up all the halves," Brackett said as he took Johnny's arm and wrapped a tourniquet tightly above the elbow. "It's always interesting to see who adds the halves, who reports them as wholes, and who reports that there are 81 tiles and 9 half tiles. The anesthesiologist wants a blood gas so I'm going to get that, then we'll talk about everything."

Johnny's eyes widened as it sunk in that Brackett was going to do this himself. When Brackett straightened out his arm and aimed the needle for his inner elbow, Johnny instinctively pulled away.

"Ah, Doc. No offense, but maybe you better get one of the nurses to do this? Blood gases come from the wrist you know."

"Oh, ye of little faith. Blood gases can be drawn from the wrist or the elbow joint, or anywhere else you can get to an artery. Personally, I prefer to use the elbow. I think it hurts less. So, give me your arm and I promise, if I miss on the first try, I'll go find an expert. But I won't miss."

Against his better judgement, Johnny held out his arm and looked away. He felt the jab and looked back in time to see the tube filling quickly with bright red, oxygen rich blood. Brackett removed the needle, put down a bandage, and told Roy to apply pressure until the bleeding stopped. He then left briefly to find someone to deliver the vial to the lab.

He returned in time to hear Johnny say to Roy, "Don't tell Dix, but that wasn't nearly so bad. Next time I need a blood gas, I'm gonna find a way to have him do it."

"Sorry, Gage. I'm not officially on duty so we get to bend the rules tonight. Normally the nurses wouldn't let me within ten feet of a patient if I had a needle in my hand. Can't be stepping on any union toes you know. So, we're done with the tests and ready to move on. Are you ready to hear all this?"

"Doc, I've been ready for days now. Besides, I can make a few assumptions since you're drawing blood for an anesthesiologist. I'm headed for surgery."

Brackett sat on a stool and suggested to Roy that he sit back down as well while he explained what they had found.

"Okay, first things first. There's no need for an angiogram. The CAT scan and the EEG confirmed what we needed to know. You are having seizures likely caused by a rather large blood clot that has formed right here." Brackett touched his own head to show Johnny the location.

"Given the symptoms etc, we think there is active bleeding going on. If so, we'll find it when we remove the clot so we don't need any further testing. Dr. Mark Perez is on his way in to do the surgery and we're getting an OR set up. Mark is a superb neurosurgeon and the person I would want if I were going to have this operation myself. He should be here soon.

"Your fatigue is partly due to the head injury, but also due to an infection raging in your blood stream. The antibiotic you were on was killing one type of bacteria but was all wrong for the type that's in your blood. So, we've changed the antibiotic and with heavy IV doses, you should start to feel better within 24 hours. The aches in your limbs and joints are from the infection and from your immune system going into overdrive to try to fight the infection. They'll go away as your infection clears up."

Johnny seemed a little overwhelmed, so Roy asked a question. "Doc, what about the seizures. Will they go away?"

Johnny hadn't even considered the possibility that they might not. "If they're caused by the clot, they'll go away once the clot's removed, right, Doc?"

Brackett read the edge of panic in Johnny's voice. He tried to be reassuring while being honest. "Chances are they'll go away completely within a very short period of time. However, they could get worse before they get better, so we'll take preventative measures and put you on Dilantin for a while. Then we'll wean you off that and you shouldn't have any more problems."

"I can't work on Dilantin. I can't work with seizures."

"That's true. But we're likely talking about a week or two at the most. With any luck you'll be off the Dilantin and seizure free before your ready to go to work. Any other questions?"

The three men talked a few minutes longer. When Dr. Perez arrived, Brackett stayed only long enough for introductions, promised Johnny he would see him after the surgery, then left to consider the rest of his response to this situation.

 

It was 11:00 PM. Brackett sat in his office, rubbing his temples, willing his headache to go away. Roy had stayed at the hospital until Johnny had been brought into surgery. He had left only with the guarantee that he would be called as soon as Johnny was in recovery. Brackett was considering stretching out on his couch for a few minutes when his office door opened and Pete Walters walked in. Both men were startled.

"Oh my God, sorry, Kel. I didn't expect you back until morning. I'm covering the overnight shift tonight. So how was your trip?"

Brackett had forgotten that he had told Walters he could use his office while he was gone. "The trip was great, Pete. Thanks. It's a beautiful place. I want to go back already."

"Yeah, I bet. But if I know you, they'll have to pry you out of here before you'll take another vacation. So what enthralling case are you reading that couldn't wait until tomorrow morning?"

Walters looked at the file on Brackett's desk and shook his head. "I should have known. I almost forgot he was picking you up at the airport. Sorry he sucked you into this so quickly. He must have been good to make you come down here to look at the file on your last night of vacation.

"Look, Kel, I have nothing but respect for the man, but he's depressed and he just doesn't see it. He's got DeSoto wrapped up in his denial as well. I can guarantee you he's not taking the medication. I'm going to order a blood level tomorrow. I know as of tomorrow he's your charge again, but I strongly suggest you pull him from duty if he's not taking his medication. He'll never get better without it."

Something about Brackett's expression made Pete uneasy. "He is still my patient until tomorrow, Kel. I hope you'll support me in making him come in for the blood test."

Brackett rubbed his eyes before saying anything. "You don't need my support for that. You've got a captive audience. You'll find him in ICU. But I already did blood work. The results are right here if you care to see them." Brackett slid the lab report across the desk to Walters.

"What's he doing in ICU? Please don't tell me that he tried to hurt himself." Walters began to scan the report in front of him. He stopped short as his attention was drawn to the blood work.

"78,000? His white count is 78,000?" As Walters looked through the rest of the tests Brackett had done he sank into a chair and groaned. "Where is he now?"

"He's in surgery with Mark Perez."

"The neurosurgeon."

"Yes, the neurosurgeon. He's removing a large blood clot and stopping a bleed. Gage has been having partial complex seizures since the day before Joanne DeSoto brought him back here to see you."

"Everything said depression, Kel. Everything. I swear to you. His CAT scan and x-rays were normal after the accident. Three days later he had no symptoms but a lingering headache. His blood work was normal. No fever, no external signs of infection in the arm, neuro exam was normal. He was withdrawn, sullen, loss of appetite, fatigue, excessive sleep, poor concentration, poor memory. It was all there, Kel. Everyone saw it."

"That may be so, but you blew it, Pete, and I hope you know that, because if you don't, you've got a big problem ahead of you. I was just re-reading your resume. I had forgotten about the funding you just got from NIH to study the impact of psychiatric diagnosis on emergency room usage. It should be a useful study. But you forgot the number one rule of differential diagnosis in major depression, the rule out of physiological causes before beginning treatment. Even if he is depressed, depression is a common symptom of a head injury."

There was nothing Pete Walters could say. Brackett was right. "So, the Tylenol and antibiotics were keeping down the fever and masking the infection, right? If I had just done a simple blood test and another CAT scan when he came back in I would have seen all this. He could have died, Kel. And it would have been my fault."

"Yes, he could have died. He could still die. He's not out of surgery yet. But, I suspect he'll be fine. And if I know Gage, he'll even let you off the hook long before you let yourself off, assuming you apologize.

"You know, Pete, its been a long time since I've been responsible for your education, but for what it's worth, I'm going to throw in my 2 cents worth here. You made some serious mistakes, but in my mind, the biggest mistake was not listening to the people who know him. DeSoto tried to tell you there was something wrong, didn't he? Then, if I'm right, you encouraged Mike Morton to refuse a second opinion."

"I did more than encourage him, I begged him not to. I thought it would feed Gage's denial. Which it would have, if it had been denial, but it wasn't, and it was a mistake of huge proportions."

"No, you're wrong. Even if this was depression and he was in denial, you were sabotaging his care by discouraging a second opinion. What's wrong with letting another doctor look at things from a different angle? If he agrees with your diagnosis, all the better for your ability to convince your patient to go along with your prescribed course of treatment. If he disagrees, well, maybe he saw something you didn't."

The men were still discussing the case when they got word that John Gage had made it through the surgery without incident and was in recovery. Brackett picked up the phone to call Roy then Dixie. Walters said a small prayer of thanks, then moved on to his patients for the night.

 

Dixie came on shift at 6:00 AM, allowing herself enough time to check in on Johnny before reviewing the cases on the unit with the shift that was leaving. Johnny had been moved into ICU and was still unconscious. There was some concern about the fact that he had not woken up in recovery, but still the doctors were cautiously optimistic. Normally Dixie would have pushed Johnny's hair from his forehead in a gesture of comfort, but there was no hair to be seen, just a bandage. Dixie wondered what her young friend would say when he realized that he had finally been given that haircut that the chief had been pestering him to get.

Dixie smiled and picked up Johnny's hand. "Come on now, Johnny. It's time for you to wake up. I need you alert and ready to help when Kel starts to get cold feet again."

"I'll buy him socks."

Dixie looked at Johnny. His eyes were still closed, but the corner of his mouth was turned up in a slight grin.

"Welcome back."

"Welcome back to you too, Dix," Johnny whispered before falling back to sleep.

 

Mike Morton was pacing the hallway when Dixie returned to the emergency room. Dixie came up behind him. "Hey stranger. What brings you here so early?" she asked.

"Dixie, great to see you. How was your vacation?" Mike asked, not waiting for an answer. "I'm just hoping to catch Kel as soon as he gets here. I need to talk to him right away."

"Did you check his office?"

"No, he's not due on until 8:00."

Dixie hoped she knew what problem this young doctor wanted to discuss with Kel. "He's been here all night, Mike. He was in his office a half hour ago. I suspect he's still there."

Mike Morton thanked her then went to knock on Brackett's door, suddenly not sure he wanted the man to be in his office. But he was.

Brackett was pleased, having just gotten the news that Johnny had woken up and spoken to Dixie. But his smile disappeared quickly when he saw who was standing in his doorway. Before he could instruct the Morton to come in close the door, he had done just that and had sat in a chair in front of the desk.

"Kel, I made a huge mistake. It could be serious. I need your help to fix it."

Mike proceeded to tell Brackett about his exchange with the two paramedics, about his conversation with Walters, and about his conclusion that he had made an error that needed to be immediately corrected.

"Kel, I feel funny second guessing Pete, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder if Gage isn't having seizures. At least, from his description that's what I thought it was at first. But then Pete was so sure and he had seen him and everything, so I went along with it. I know Pete's your friend and all, but I think you need to get Gage back in here this morning. I'm sure he'll want nothing to do with me, but he'll talk to you. Sorry to hit you with this first thing, by the way."

By now Brackett was smiling again, his faith in Mike Morton restored. "Mike, you can relax. First of all, if you want to be the one to deliver bad news, you've got to be much faster. Roy told me yesterday when he picked me up at the airport. And you're right. It was seizures. John had one in front of me at Roy's house. He's already here, already had surgery to remove the clot and stop the bleeding, and is already in ICU.

"I could give you a long lecture, but I think you've already done that to yourself so I won't. Clearly you figured it out and were ready to fix it. But I will say this. If I ever again find you refusing to give a patient a second opinion, no matter who offered the first opinion, myself included, it will be the last day that you work for me. Is that clear?"

 

Johnny had spent only two days in ICU. He hadn't had any more seizures. He was now sporting a fever of 100, down from 101 the day before. Brackett had stopped the Tylenol saying that he wanted to use the fever as a barometer for his recovery from the infection as long has it didn't get high enough to be a problem. Now the antibiotics seemed to be working. His fever and white count were coming down and he was feeling better.

Captain Stanley and the men of the A shift were all anxiously awaiting the beginning of visiting hours. Now that Johnny was out of ICU, they could all visit together as long as they didn't cause a scene. They'd each spoken to him earlier in the day and were pleased to find him in high spirits. They were looking forward to their visit.

When they entered the room, they were disappointed to find a sullen, withdrawn Johnny, buried deep in his pillows and covers with his sheets even pulled up covering his head. Only his face was visible. He looked ridiculous.

"Gee, Johnny, what's your problem?" Chet wanted to know. "You look like a nun or something with your head covered like that. Roy said you got the bandages off. Where's your scar? Is it gross? I want to see?"

Johnny sneered at Chet. "For your information, the scar is still covered with a bandage. I just got the bandage that went around my whole head off, that's all. And I'm covered up like this because my head hurts less when it's covered. So leave it alone." To everyone else he asked, "So, do you all miss me?"

The men spent 20 minutes regaling Gage with stories of DeSoto and Brice who had been partnered together on the last shift. They almost had Johnny smiling when Brackett walked in the room.

"Hi, guys," Brackett spoke to the crew. "Bet you'll be happy to have this one back in your midst in a few weeks, huh?" He didn't wait for a response before turning to Johnny. "I just need to check the stitches, then I'll get out of your way." He was shocked when Johnny hit his hand away.

"Doc, do you mind? Can you wait until we have a little privacy?"

Brackett immediately understood and asked the others to wait outside. After they left, Brackett pulled the sheets away from John's head and pulled back the bandage to make sure the incision site had not become infected. He spoke to Johnny as he did.

"You know, Gage. They're going to see it eventually. It's only July. You can't start wearing a ski cap. And since we had someone come in this morning and even it out, it really doesn't look bad."

Johnny just shook his head. "It's not how it looks. It's what it stood for. It was my trademark. It was my image. It was my stand against mindless authoritarianism."

"It will grow back."

"You should have told me. I would have refused."

"Which would explain why I didn't tell you.

"I look like a Marine recruit."

"Some women find that look very appealing."

"Not the women I date."

"Maybe now you'll get to date a whole new group of women."

While Johnny pondered that, Brackett let the group back in. The group now included Roy, Joanne, and Dixie. By the time Johnny realized what Brackett had done, it was too late to re-bury himself in his blankets. He gave Brackett a look that promised revenge as the guys started in. One after another they offered their wise cracks.

Chet was laughing so hard he could barely speak. "Oh my God, Gage. It's gone! All of it! Someone call the police. File a report. Someone stole Gage's hair!"

Marco seemed a little more pained. "Ouch! Well, you know what they say about bald headed men. But I guess you're not really bald, more like a short crew cut. Hey, at least you'll get the chief off your case for a while."

For once Mike couldn't contain himself. "My brother in law makes toupees if you get desperate. If you want one made of real hair, we can take some of Chet's and Marco's mustaches. Nothing from Roy though. He doesn't have any to spare these days."

Cap could barely believe what he was seeing. "We're gonna have to get you a new helmet, pal. Without your hair to hold it up, yours will fall down over your eyes."

Johnny just sat and waited for the others to join in. When they didn't he looked at them expectantly.

"Well, go ahead. Take your best shots. The competition hasn't been too tough yet."

Roy shook his head. "I told you earlier that I think it looks fine."

Joanne and Dixie spoke almost in unison. "He's wrong, Johnny. Fine isn't the right word," Joanne told her friend.

Dixie agreed. "They're all wrong. It looks better than okay. It looks, well, sophisticated. Or at least it will once the bandage is gone."

"Dixie's right, Johnny," Joanne agreed. "You look somehow older, which if you said to me, I'd have to kill you, but on you, it's a good thing. You just watch. It's going to be a real chick magnate."

Everyone looked at Joanne. Roy couldn't believe what he had heard. "Did you just call him a chick magnate? If I called a woman a 'chick' I'd have to sleep on the couch for a week!"

"That's right and don't you forget it! But, it's different coming from me. If I want to call Johnny Gage a 'chick magnate' I can do that. Isn't that right Dixie?"

"That's right," Dixie smirked. "Any young man with a close crop hair cut like that and a wicked crooked grin, and nice tight…. muscles, I would say that 'chick magnate' fits just about right."

"Alright, that's enough of that." Brackett was grateful that the banter had lightened Johnny's mood, but enough was enough. "All of you out of here, now.
 

Johnny could hardly believe that he was ready for discharge only five days after the surgery. Not that he was unhappy about it. He'd been pushing to go home since the day he got out of ICU. But somehow he had thought he'd have more time to hide out in the hospital. Now, as he stood in the bathroom of his hospital room, dressed in street clothes, he made himself look in the mirror for the first time. It was true that he couldn't be described as bald. They had only shaved a small area down to the skin. The rest was a very short buzz cut, leaving about a quarter inch of hair. Johnny wasn't sure he had ever really been aware of the shape of his head before, the subtle dents and bumps of his skull. A shiver ran through his body and a queasiness settled into the pit of his stomach. He quickly turned away from the mirror, closing the bathroom door as he left.

He was sitting on the chair with his eyes closed when he became aware that there was someone in the room. He looked up, expecting to see Dr. Brackett with his release papers. Instead, Dixie stood in front of him.

She sat down on the side of the bed. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Nothing important," Johnny told her. "Have you seen Dr. Brackett? He needs to give me my discharge papers."

"He got tied up downstairs. He'll be a few more minutes. I figured I'd take my break and come keep you company while you wait."

"Thanks."

Johnny volunteered nothing more, so the two sat in silence until Dixie spoke up.

"Okay, out with it. Tell me what you're thinking."

Johnny shook his head. "It's silly and unimportant. What's in the bag?" he asked, noticing for the first time that she held a paper bag in her hands.

"It's a present for you," Dixie said.

"Nice wrapping job, Dix," Johnny said as he reached for the bag, making sure to smile broadly so that she knew he was teasing her.

"Okay, so Emily Post I'm not. But don't judge a gift by its wrapping!"

Johnny pulled a blue baseball cap out of the bag. The cap had the insignia of NASA embroidered on the front.

"Thanks. It's great." He paused, then asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

Dixie nodded. "Sure."

Johnny changed his mind as he opened his mouth. "Why NASA?"

"Well, I could tell you it's because I think you should wear the insignia of great men, or that it represents reaching new heights, or that it stands for courage and strength. But the truth is it's the only one they had left in the gift shop."

"Well, it's great." Johnny decided to try again. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Anything," Dixie answered with a great deal of emphasis to let Johnny know it was more than a canned response.

"I thought you were the one who told me I shouldn't cover it up?"

"I was wrong."

"Huh?"

"Look, Johnny. I meant it when I said I thought it looked good. And with a couple more weeks' growth and with the bandage gone, I think it's going to look downright great. But what I think or what Roy or Kel or Chet or anyone else thinks isn't important. It's what you think that matters. And if it bothers you, well, a hat is a good solution."

Johnny adjusted the back strap and put it on. "How does it look?"

"Just right."

Johnny decided to shift the topic. "So, Dix, you still haven't really told me what's up with you and the good doctor. Is it serious?"

Dixie's answer took Johnny by surprise. "No."

"No it's not serious, or no you won't tell me?"

"You said it yourself, Johnny. The two of us together, in the tropics, alone, on a beach… We got caught up in the moment. It was interesting. It was fun. It was very nice. But it wasn't reality. We fit together much better as friends. So, that's what we're going to do."

"Your decision or his?"

"Mutual." Johnny looked at her, doubting her statement. "Honest. We decided together."

"You sure I don't just need to buy him those socks I promised?"

Dixie hadn't thought Johnny had remembered that brief interaction. She shook her head. "Enough about that. How are you getting home?"

"Charlie Dwyer's picking me up. The A shift is on duty and Joanne is on a cub scout outing. He's been fixing up a new motorcycle I've been dying to see so we're going to swing by his place first."

Johnny saw the look of dread that suddenly appeared on Dixie's face. "Don't worry, Dix. I'm only gonna look. I swear! I can show some self restraint you know. Besides, at the moment the engine is sitting in one part of his garage and the rest of the bike in another part so it's a pretty low risk vehicle."

"Okay, but I swear, John Gage, if you show up back here with so much as a scratch from that thing, even if you just bump up against it, I'm going to make you wish you had never even thought of looking at it!"

"Duly noted."

"Hey, I've got to get back on duty. Kel should be here any minute. Johnny, do me a favor?"

"Anything," Johnny said with the same emphasis Dixie had used earlier.

"Don't tell anyone about Kel and me. It's better to keep them guessing."

"You have my word."

"And Johnny?"

"Yeah, Dix."

"When you tell Roy, make him promise not to tell anyone either."

"It's a deal."

 

Roy had just dropped off a patient and was waiting for today's partner, Art McCormack, to arrive with the squad when he saw Mike Morton approaching the desk. He had had any number of calls that he had worked with Morton since the day he and Johnny had sought out his help, but he had yet to see him when there was not an immediate crisis demanding their attention. He was not sure if that was coincidence or by design. Either way, it was clearly about to end. Roy looked at Dixie. Her return look told him she was not going to give him a way out of this.

"Roy, do you have a minute?"

"A minute," was Roy's response. His voice was noncommittal.

"Look," Morton began, "I already talked to Johnny, but I wanted to tell you too. I was out of line. For whatever it's worth, I just wanted you to know that I know that. I'm really very sorry."

Roy knew that Johnny had made peace with Morton only days after his surgery. Johnny had also listened to Pete Walters' apology. Johnny claimed the whole thing was now behind them. Roy wasn't sure he meant it with regards to Walters, but he knew Johnny had forgiven Mike Morton.

"Doctor Morton, what you did was lousy. I'm still angry about it. But if Johnny isn't going to hold it against you then I guess I shouldn't either."

Roy wasn't sure what else he was going to say, but was saved from having to find out by a familiar voice behind him.

"Hi, Roy. How's your partner?"

Roy turned to see Dr. Early and Dr. Brackett approaching the desk.

"Hi Doc. Good to see you back. Johnny's hanging in there. How are you feeling?"

"Good as new. Hey, I saw you guys on that exposé on Camp Blue Jay a couple of nights ago. Did you see that?"

Roy had seen it. Johnny had seen it. Roy wished they had both gone to the movies instead.

"Yeah, I saw it. So did Johnny. You know, we didn't even realize that a news crew was on the scene. I can't believe they showed us pulling those kids out of the river. They say shows like that will help prevent similar stuff from happening in the future. I think the appeal is just the same thing that makes people gawk at an accident.

"And I'll tell you, seeing that the other night was the last thing Johnny needed. There was no part of those three weeks that he needed to re-live. Especially not all those kids dying. And of course, he had all his hair in the footage that they showed. The show threw him back into quite a funk. On top of that, they've started to wean him off the Dilantin and he's worried about that. I haven't talked to him today, but yesterday was not a good day."

"Do you think I should get him in here to talk to him?" Brackett asked Roy.

"Actually, I think he's got an appointment with Perez today sometime. He'll probably be fine again once he's had a few days and he's sure he isn't going to start having seizures again."

Roy's partner appeared at the desk and before anything more could be said, the team was off on another call.

 

Johnny was not in a good mood. He wasn't depressed, just out of sorts. His appointment with Dr. Perez had gone well. There was no indication of any seizure activity. In another two days he would be off the Dilantin completely and then he could go back to work. Every time he thought about work, he found himself adjusting the NASA cap that had become a permanent part of his wardrobe. It would not be allowed on the job.

Neurology was on the 5^th floor. As Johnny left the office suite he turned away from the main elevator bank. Those elevators would deposit him at the edge of the ER. He didn't want to deal with that today. Instead he headed for the service elevators in the back. They were not supposed to be for patient use, but he found that if you looked like you belonged, no one bothered you.

As the elevator door opened, Johnny was surprised to see an unaccompanied boy. He looked to be about 11 or 12 years old. He looked at Johnny briefly then looked back at the floor. The doors shut and elevator headed down.

"Hey, how ya doin?" Johnny inquired.

The boy shrugged and said, "Okay."

Something about this wasn't right. "You here visiting?" Johnny tried again.

Again the boy shrugged. "Nah," was all he said.

"You headed home?" Johnny asked.

Again the shrug. "Yeah."

The doors to the elevator opened on the first floor. Johnny stepped out. He expected the boy to follow. He didn't. Johnny wasn't sure how he knew, but he was sure something was very wrong here. At the last possible moment, he stepped back into the elevator.

"I forgot something," he explained as he pushed the button for the 5th floor. The elevator continued down to the basement.

Johnny felt sure that the boy had intended to get off in the basement but in this part of the hospital the basement was nothing more than the morgue and the furnace room. Even the laundry was at the other end of the building. He could think of no good reason the boy would be here. When the door opened, the boy moved to get off. Johnny didn't exactly block his way, but he didn't move aside either.

"Are you sure this is the floor you want? There's not much down here." The boy just shrugged. He stepped off the elevator.

Johnny blocked the door as it started to close, forcing it to stay open. The boy did not move. Johnny said nothing. After the elevator's 4th attempt at closing Johnny decided he needed to do something to break the stalemate. He already knew that if he couldn't get this kid back on the elevator, he was getting off.

"My name's Johnny. What's your name?"

"Tony."

"Tony, I don't think this is where you meant to be. I think you made a mistake because there's nothing down here. Let's go back to the first floor.

Tony shrugged and got back on the elevator, no doubt intending to simply ride it until Johnny got off and left him alone. As Tony got back on the elevator, the doors shut and Johnny pushed the button for the lobby. The elevator started up but then creaked and came to a stop.

Damn. I messed it up by blocking the door. Johnny tried pushing the basement button again, then each of the other buttons. The elevator didn't move. He looked at Tony who was simply not reacting to the scenario. He just continued to look at the floor.

"Well, Tony, looks like the elevator's jammed. We're going to need some help."

Johnny opened the compartment that held the emergency phone or rather the compartment that was supposed to hold the emergency phone. It was empty.

Johnny looked at Tony and simply said, "No phone. I guess we use the alarm." He pressed the alarm button. The sound produced was like a dying telephone. It rung for a moment, went badly out of tune, then stopped altogether. This is not good.

Johnny wasn't panicked, but he was not happy with the situation. Even though the elevator was not for patient use, it shouldn't have passed inspection without an emergency phone and working alarm. Johnny did not let his frustration or concern show in his voice as he spoke to his companion.

"Okay, Tony, well the alarm isn't working either, which means that for now, we sit and wait until someone figures out the elevator isn't working. If no one comes in a little while, I'll find a way out of here."

Johnny had already taken note of the hatch on the top of the elevator. He could likely climb up and out and reach the first floor without too much difficulty, but it wouldn't be safe to bring Tony with him that way and something told him not to leave this kid alone. It would be better to wait. Someone would notice soon. He decided to sit on the floor, hoping that Tony would follow his lead. When he didn't, Johnny suggested that he sit down. There was another shrug, but Tony sat.

Johnny waited in silence for a few minutes, then decided to take the direct approach.

"Tony. What's wrong?"

Again the shrug without so much as a glance.

Johnny tried to think what might be wrong but there were just so many possibilities in a hospital. He wasn't dressed like an inpatient. Maybe he was visiting.

"I hate hospitals. How 'bout you?"

"Yeah." It was one step up from a shrug.

"Is someone you know sick?"

They were back to the shrug.

"Are you here with your Mom or Dad?"

"Yeah."

"Where are they?"

"On the 5th floor."

Neurology, Oncology, Orthopedics. The possibilities were still too broad.

"Who's here? You're mom or dad?"

"Both."

Okay, well one word answers are better than shrugs. "Were they hurt in an accident?"

"No."

Roy's kids liked to play 20 questions. Johnny had always hated the game. He found that he hated it more when it wasn't a game.

"Why are they here?"

"They're waiting for me."

Johnny was not expecting that answer. "Do they know where you are?"

Tony shook his head. Johnny decided to try another approach.

"So, who's your doctor?" It was a shot in the dark. It worked.

"Dr. Butler."

Johnny had seen that name on the door in Perez's office. He was a pediatric neurosurgeon.

"Bummer."

Johnny hadn't really meant to say that, but it got a response. Tony made eye contact for the first time.

"Bummer," he repeated, nodding.

"So, how come you're seeing a neurosurgeon?" Johnny decided to continue to try being direct.

"Epilepsy. He wants to operate. My folks agree. I don't."

Johnny's stomach tightened and he suddenly felt queasy. He did not feel ready to have this conversation with anyone. He resisted the urge to start pushing buttons again and instead just nodded.

"That's rough."

"Uh huh."

I can do this. "So, tell me about the surgery. What do they want to do?"

"Shave my head, drill into my skull and cut into my brain. But it's no big deal, right?"

Johnny wanted to be anywhere but in that elevator at that moment. He had to force himself not to stand up and yell for help. "It sounds like a big deal to me."

"No kidding."

Johnny swallowed hard and made a decision. He reached up and took off the baseball cap. He looked Tony directly in the eyes. "But around here, even big deals turn out okay. And hair grows back."

Tony just stared for a minute. When he spoke, it was clear that he understood. "You have epilepsy?"

"No, but I had seizures."

"And they drilled into your head?"

"Yeah."

"And your seizures stopped?"

"Yeah."

"Did it hurt?"

"Afterwards. For a while. But not long. The medicine helped."

"Were you scared?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"I know."

"Where'd you get the cap?"

Johnny made another decision. "A friend gave it to me. She said it was a special cap, something about the NASA insignia giving me strength, courage, and good luck. You know, like the guys who landed on the moon? I don't believe in that stuff, of course. But you know, I can't explain it, but it worked."

"Cool."

"Yeah, cool." Johnny adjusted the back strap down one size and handed the cap to Tony. "I don't need it any more. Why don't you take it?"

"For real?"

"For real."

Tony put the cap on his head with the brim facing back. He looked at Johnny and smiled for the first time. "How does it look?"

"Just right."

Johnny and Tony sat silently for a few minutes. Johnny was beginning to wonder if he was going to have to find a way to go for help. It had been about ten minutes. So far, there was no indication that anyone knew the elevator was stuck. He again guessed that it would be an easy climb. And Tony would probably be okay alone for a few minutes now. He wasn't sure what to do. His decision was made for him when Tony suddenly stood up and swore.

"God damn!" Tony paled before Johnny's eyes and began to seize. Johnny was fast enough to catch him before he hit the floor, but not before his face hit the hand rail and blood began to pour out of his nose. Now it was Johnny who was swearing. Johnny was back sitting on the floor. He held Tony's head, assuring that it did not slam into the floor as his muscles contracted uncontrollably. Otherwise, he did not try to restrict his movements. That would only risk more severe injuries. Johnny waited for the seizure to stop. It didn't.

For the first time since the elevator had gotten stuck, Johnny began to worry. The vision of dead children swept before his eyes and Johnny began to yell for help.

"Hey, somebody! Anybody! Can you hear me? We're stuck in the elevator! There is a sick child here. We need help now!"

For two minutes Johnny continued to yell and Tony continued to seize. Tony's nose was bleeding badly, but Johnny couldn't really do anything to try to stop the bleeding while he was seizing. He just continued to protect Tony's head while he yelled, over and over.

 

Rampart's building engineer was in the emergency room inspecting a newly installed automatic door when he got the call about the man screaming in the elevator. As he passed by the desk, he noticed two paramedics talking to Dr. Brackett.

"Hey, are you guys rescue men?" he asked, not really sure about how things were set up at the fire department these days.

The blond man nodded and asked if he needed help.

"I just got a call about someone stuck in one of the service elevators. Whoever is yelling said something about a sick kid."

Brackett looked at Roy and Art. "Security has been looking for a missing 12 year old boy for about 15 minutes now."

Roy called in the silent alarm as he followed the engineer and Brackett back to the service elevators. Art went to the squad to get ropes and harnesses in case they were needed.

In the elevator, the seizure had stopped. Johnny had taken off his tee shirt and was now using it to try to stop Tony's bleeding nose. Tony was still unconscious. Johnny continued to yell for help. Then he heard someone answer.

"Hey, you in there. I'm gonna find some help. Just hang on."

"Hurry," Johnny yelled back. "We have a sick kid in here."

Johnny could breathe a little easier now, knowing that help was on the way. Tony began to regain alertness and become aware of his surroundings.

Johnny had Tony's head on his lap. He had one hand holding a piece of his torn shirt under Tony's nose and one hand applying some pressure to try to stop the flow of blood. Tony began to gag on the blood he was swallowing and Johnny helped him to his side and held him while he vomited. The coughing started his nose bleeding again and Tony began to choke on the blood. Johnny positioned him so that he remained on his side with his head in a position that might allow the blood to flow out of his mouth instead of back into his throat.

"Tony, listen to me. I want you to breathe through your mouth, not your nose. Try to do that for me, pal. Try to breathe through your mouth."

Tony was still not fully aware and was not able to follow Johnny's instructions. He continued to choke. Johnny was doing all he could to keep him from aspirating any blood, but with the constant flow through his sinus and his gasps for breath, Johnny was worried that he may not be successful. Johnny started to yell for help again. He closed his eyes and offered a silent prayer of thanks when he heard the voice that answered.

Doctor Brackett and Roy looked at each other as they recognized the voice in the elevator.

"Johnny, is that you?" Roy called out.

"Roy," Johnny answered, "we need help fast. I have a 12 year old boy with epilepsy who just had a grand mal seizure. He broke his nose when he first seized and he's bleeding uncontrollably. He's choking on the blood no matter what I do. I'm afraid he's going to aspirate. He probably already has."

The engineer now had the doors to the elevator shaft open and Roy couldn't believe their good luck. The elevator was less than one floor away. He wouldn't even need a rope to reach it.

Within seconds of Roy telling him that help was on its way, Johnny heard someone on the roof of the elevator. Moments later Roy was lowering himself in through the hatch.

Tony continued to gag and choke on the blood that was flowing steadily into his throat. He was now more aware and was becoming scared.

"Tony, calm down and breathe through your mouth," Johnny said firmly. Tony calmed down enough to listen to Johnny. "You're okay, pal. You're going to be fine."

Tony again vomited and again the bleeding got worse, so did the choking.

"We've got to get him out of here now, Roy. If he has another seizure while he's like this… There's no other injury besides his nose. We don't need any spinal precautions."

Brackett quickly agreed and Roy pulled himself up to the roof of the elevator. As Johnny was forced to change Tony's position, his choking increased, but in less than a minute he was out of the elevator, back on the first floor, and on a gurney being rushed to the emergency room by Art and Brackett.

Roy lowered himself back into the elevator. Johnny was quite a sight.

"Are you hurt?" Roy wanted to know. Johnny was covered with blood, but Roy suspected it was all Tony's. Johnny quickly confirmed that.

"I'm fine."

"You know, Johnny, you were supposed to wait for clearance from Perez before coming back to work, but I guess the pull of the job is just too strong, huh?"

Roy noticed that his friend was smiling, just a little, as he reached up to pull himself out of the elevator. Roy gave him a boost, then reached down and picked up the NASA cap.

"Hey, you don't want to forget this." Roy handed the cap up to Johnny and then pulled himself up as well, leaving the cleanup to be handled hospital staff.

Once they both had a non-moving floor beneath their feet, Johnny handed the cap back to Roy. Something about Johnny had definitely changed. Roy sensed a level of comfort and confidence that had been missing for more than a month.

"I need to get cleaned up a little. I gave the cap to Tony before he had his seizure. Could you make sure he gets it back?"

"Sure."

"You know, Roy, for a few minutes there I didn't think he was going to make it."

"Yeah, but he did, thanks to you. He's lucky you were there."

"Me too, Roy. Me too."


Author's note: Thanks to Jane for all the help. Of course, any medical mistakes are mine.
 

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