A week later, Johnny was resting in a light doze in his room on the orthopedic floor.  He was almost fully recovered from his bout with pneumonia, and he was waiting for Hannah to arrive.  He looked up at the sound of his door opening.

Dr. Manning entered the room, followed closely by Drs. Brackett and Andrews.

Johnny rubbed the bleary remnants of sleep from his eyes.  “What is this?  A convention?”

Todd rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he consulted with the others.  “Hmmm…isn’t marked sarcasm a classic indicator that a patient is ready to go home?”

Brackett smiled a sly smile.  “Why, yes, doctor.  I believe it is.”

Johnny pushed himself up, wincing at the pain it triggered in his chest and hip.  “Are you saying I can leave?”

Brackett was always happy to deliver good news, and he knew that being allowed to leave the hospital, to this patient in particular, ranked right up there with informing him that he had won the lottery.  “Yes, Johnny.  We’re discharging you as of tomorrow morning.  But…”

Johnny threw his head back against the pillows, a little more dramatically than was necessary.  “Aw, man!  Why does there always have to be a ‘but’?”

Todd stepped forward.  “Because, John.  Kel knows you.  And over the past few years, I’ve come to know you too.  And, we’ve managed to educate Bob here on the…propensity you have toward…how should I say this…thinking that just because you’re being discharged from the hospital that you can do such things as…oh, I don’t know…work in your barn…”

“Don’t worry, Doc.”  Johnny assured.  “I learned my lesson the last time.”

“Uh huh.”  Brackett teased.  He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, clutching Johnny’s chart to his chest.  “Here’s the deal.  You get to go home tomorrow…IF you agree to stay in bed for most of the day and night.  And IF you promise to ask for help when you need to transfer into your wheelchair or use the bathroom.  And IF you follow all of our instructions to the letter.  Got it?”

Johnny wanted to be offended at the lecture, but what could he say.  He hadn’t exactly been an exemplary outpatient in the past.  “Okay…sure, Doc.”

Todd picked up where Brackett left off.  “Justin will still be working with you on a regular basis.  In about another week, that splint can come off your hand, and he can start working on getting you crutch trained.  But, until then…NO standing or walking without help.  I’ll talk to Hannah about an appointment schedule.  I’ll want to see you at least once a week for a while.”

Manning stepped forward next, holding a mysterious object in his hands.  “And if I can add my two cents to this lecture…I don’t anticipate a repeat of what happened last week, John.  But I would like to continue monitoring your EKG .”  He held up the object.  “This is a Holter monitor.  Are you familiar with them?”

Johnny nodded cautiously.  “I’ve seen them before.”

“You’ll wear it under your clothes at all times for about a month.”  Manning pointed out the different parts of the cardiac monitor as he spoke.  “The recording device will hook onto your belt or waistband.  It will record your heart’s electrical activity over a 24 hour period onto a cassette tape that will need to be delivered to me for evaluation.  You’ll also need to keep a diary of everything you do…eating, sleeping, your PT sessions, as well as any symptoms you may have.  You can take it off to bathe, but other than that, you’ll need to leave it on all the time.  I’ll explain everything in greater detail to you and Hannah tomorrow morning before you leave.  Any questions for me now?”

“Just one.  Will Hannah or I be able to monitor my rhythm?  I mean…you said what happened last week…my EKG was probably abnormal for a few hours, but I didn’t feel a thing.”

Manning nodded.  “No, John.  You won’t.  And I don’t want you obsessing about it.  We’ve already talked about the subtle changes that might occur for several months yet.  And they’re nothing to be overly concerned about.  I will be programming the monitor to alert you if it picks up a sustained period of tachycardia, or certain arrhythmias.  And if it goes off, I’ll want you to call a squad or have someone bring you to the ER right away.”

Johnny suddenly felt uneasy.  He wanted to go home, and he was never one to be overly anxious about his health.  In fact, his carefree spirit was part of the reason he so willingly assumed the risks associated with his job.  But over the past several days, he had a lot of time to ponder the staggering significance of becoming a husband and father, and he could literally feel something inside him change.  He had been trying to come up with a way to breach the subject with Roy, eager to learn how he did it.  He picked at a stray thread on the dark blue pajama top Hannah picked out for him.  “Okay, Doc.  Thanks.”

Sensing his patient’s apprehension, the cardiologist clarified.  “But, I don’t want you to worry.  Chances are it won’t even happen.”  He surreptitiously turned Johnny’s bedside monitor just enough that his patient would not be able to study the screen, suddenly realizing he had probably been doing exactly that for the past several days.  No wonder he had required medicinal support to help him fall asleep.  “And if it does, it will likely be something completely benign.”

“Yeah…right.”

Brackett stood, slightly concerned about his friend’s demeanor.  Johnny had just been told he was being discharged tomorrow.  He should have been bouncing off the walls.  “Well, Johnny.  Why don’t you get some rest?  It’s soon time for your morning session with Justin, right?”

“Right.”

“I’ll send the nurse in with your pain meds.  And I’ll be in to check on you later.”  Brackett started for the door.

“I’ll be back too, John.”  Todd followed his colleague.

“And me.”  Manning was the last to depart, leaving Johnny to ponder this news he had just been given.  He longed for the comfort of home, to sleep in his own bed with Hannah beside him, where he wouldn’t have the almost constant interruption of various hospital staff.  Where he could enjoy Hannah’s home cooking, instead of the tasteless fare Rampart tried to pass off as food, where there was peace and quiet, and he could be lulled to sleep by the soothing night sounds of the forest surrounding the ranch.  But overriding all of that, was a tightness in the pit of his stomach that refused to abate. 

Johnny accepted the small cup of pills from the young nurse who delivered them, and swallowed them down gratefully, resting his head back against his pillows.  His eyes wandered to the monitor screen beside his bed, as they had done during almost every waking moment over the past several days.  Wondering which one of his doctors had been responsible for effectively eliminating this source of reassurance for him, he cursed under his breath and tried to relax, his hand moving to the center of his chest, seeking out the steady beat that would lull him into slumber.

zzz

Justin arrived about an hour later, pushing a wheelchair, expecting to find his friend asleep.  Instead, Johnny was staring listlessly at the TV.  Justin noticed the cardiac monitor screen had been turned back around where Johnny could see it, and he wondered what nurse or hospital volunteer his friend had sweet talked into moving it for him.  He lofted a curious eyebrow at the figure on the bed, but said nothing.  Todd had filled Justin in on the reason for the concern, and the physical therapist understood the discretion.  He had been experiencing some unvoiced anxiety of his own.  He locked the brakes on the wheelchair, perched his hands on his hips and stood watching the argument occurring on the screen.  “The Brady Bunch?”

It was as if Johnny never heard the question.  “You know what I can’t figure out about this show…if Carol doesn’t have a job, and she has a maid, what the hell does she do all day?”

Justin shrugged his shoulders.  On the screen, Greg and Mike were in a heated discussion about Greg’s use of the family car.  “I think she did a lot of needlepoint.”

Johnny gestured at the screen, wincing when the movement caused pain to flare in his chest.  “And what’s with this new kid, Oliver?  I swear he looks familiar…kinda like a kid we rescued from a rock quarry once.  To this day, I don’t know how he survived that…”  Johnny sighed as he clicked off the TV, tossing the remote control carelessly onto the bed.

Justin began lowering the bed.  “You ready for some work?”

Johnny glowered suspiciously.  “That depends what you mean by work.”

Once the bed was sufficiently lowered, Justin disengaged the side rail and knelt down, studying his friend’s face.  “What’s wrong?  Not feeling up to it?”

“I’m feeling up to it…”  Irritation flushed Johnny’s cheeks.  He braced himself with his good hand and started inching his way forward, every tiny movement causing his injuries to announce themselves in increasingly aggravating ways.

Justin stood back, doing his best to resist helping, knowing it was important for Johnny to do as much for himself as he was able, his eyes catching occasional secret glimpses of the monitor screen to his left.  “Take it slow, John.  There’s no hurry.”

As many times as Johnny had been in this position, he still could not believe how the simple act of getting out of bed could be transformed into what felt like the equivalent of a long, physically taxing rescue.  When he was finally turned and seated on the edge of the bed, Justin supported his right leg, the hinged brace not allowing it to bend fully enough for Johnny to rest his still healing foot on the floor.  The therapist knew from past experience that holding the injured limb aloft for more than a few seconds without support was nearly impossible for Johnny.

“Okay…let’s give it a minute.  Let me know when you’re ready.”  Justin noticed Johnny was studying the pattern on the monitor screen, which had increased in speed with the exertion of moving, but not dangerously so.  He had a feeling that to Johnny, ‘ready’ would mean once the rate returned to normal.  And he was right.  “Okay, you know the routine.  Keep all your weight on your left leg and lean on me for support.  I have to let go for a minute…”  Justin released Johnny’s right knee and stood to his patient’s left.  “Whenever you’re ready…remember to breathe.”

“I know what I’m doing!” Johnny took a few seconds to get his bearings, getting used to the feel of the cold floor underneath his foot.  Taking as deep a breath as he could muster, he accepted Justin’s supporting arms and rose to his feet…or rather, foot.  “Ahh…Jeezus!”  Pain started in his left hip and spread through his thigh and lower back in cramping swells.  Perspiration immediately beaded on his forehead and his breath came in chuffing gasps.  “God Dammit…where’s the chair?”  His voice trembled along with his body.

“It’s right here.”  Justin’s voice reeked of a practiced calm he didn’t really feel as he helped Johnny pivot and lower himself into the waiting wheelchair.  “Easy…”

Johnny sat clutching his chest, trying to slow his breathing down.  His pillow magically appeared and he pulled it tightly against himself, eyes darting nervously to the now alarming rate displayed on the dark screen. 

Justin noticed this, and he knelt between it and his friend.  “Take some deep breaths, John.”  He urged.

“Can’t…and you know it, dammit.”

Justin quickly corrected himself, remembering this same argument which the two of them had had earlier in the week.  “Sorry…just get it under control.”  He waited until Johnny appeared calmer, then worked to get him settled in for the ride down to the physical therapy room.  “I have your bag here.  Is there anything else you want before we go?  A drink?  Do you need to use the bathroom?”

Johnny shook his head.  “No…”

“What about pain meds?”  Justin started disconnecting the leads from Johnny’s chest.

“No!”  Johnny’s exclamation startled even himself.  “Just…leave those there.”

Justin abandoned his task, focused now on this new problem.  “John, there’s a monitor all set up downstairs.  We can get you hooked back up once we get down there…”

“No!”  Johnny pushed Justin’s hands away, shaking fingers refastening the errant leads himself.  “I don’t wanna go.”

Justin understood the hesitation.  He couldn’t blame Johnny for being apprehensive, and he silently smote himself for being in the tiniest way relieved that this morning’s therapy session might not happen.  It was his job to encourage his patients when pain or frustration discouraged them, but he was having a hard time egging Johnny on this time around.  “Why not?”

Johnny rested his head in his good hand.  “I…I don’t…”  He almost did it…almost lied, something he abhorred to the nth degree.  And even worse, he almost lied to his friend.  He was ready to tell Justin he wasn’t feeling up to it, but that wasn’t really the truth.  And as his mind searched for an explanation that would make sense, he discovered he wasn’t really sure exactly what the truth was.  “I just don’t.  Please?  Isn’t there something we can work on here?”

Justin helped Johnny position his left foot on the foot rest, and raised the other to support his right leg in an elevated position.  “Sure.  We can do some exercises right here in the chair.  Then we’ll get you back into bed, and we can do some more there.  Then, we’ll finish it off with a massage and some heat.  How does that sound?”

Johnny sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes in relief.  “Sounds good.”

zzz

The following morning Johnny sat in his bed, staring at the clock.  Roy was an hour late, which didn’t concern Johnny too much, figuring the station got a last minute run.  And besides, he was still waiting for Dr. Manning to make an appearance, and that had to happen before Brackett would complete his final exam and discharge him into Roy’s care for the ride home.  Feeling thirsty, he was just about to hit the call button and request a soda, when the door opened, and Manning entered.

“Good morning, John.  Feeling any better about things today?”  Manning was referring to the conversation he had with his patient yesterday afternoon, when after considering the additional anxiety it was causing, he had decided to remove him from the cardiac monitor and apply the Holter a day early.  He had also taken the time to explain the device in detail and issue Johnny’s home instructions while Hannah had been present.

“I don’t know, Doc.  I guess so.”  Johnny had hated being goaded into admitting his anxiety.  And he hated even more having to concede he was afraid of what might happen once he got home.  Despite everyone’s assurances that it was only natural to feel the way he did, he wasn’t able to completely get over the fact that his life had somehow changed forever.  And although he looked forward to this new chapter known as fatherhood, and he could no longer even imagine his existence before he met Hannah, he supposed there was still some minute part of him that never pictured himself a family man.  And it was perhaps losing the freedoms associated with his younger and more insouciant bachelor days that scared him most of all.  After all, life had been a lot less complicated with no family to worry about…and no family to worry about him.

Manning positioned himself at the edge of the bed, being mindful of the injured right leg.  “John, all your lab work looks good.  Your 12 leads over the past several days have been perfectly normal.  From a cardiac standpoint, you’re doing fine.  Todd is going to discuss your PT with Justin and assure him there’s no reason to be wearing kid gloves when it comes to your rehabilitation.  We want you to go on living like you normally would, and try not to think about what happened last week.”

Right.  Easy for you to say.  “I’ll try, Doc.”

“Well that’s all any of us has a right to expect.”  Manning undraped his stethoscope from around his neck.  “Mind if I have a listen?”

Johnny began unbuttoning the large buttons on his pajama top with one hand.  “If you can find any place to put that thing through all the wires.”

Manning smiled and leaned forward.  “I think I can figure it out.  How does your chest feel?”

“Not too bad right now.  Just had some Tramadol.”

“Okay, good.”  The cardiologist placed his stethoscope on Johnny’s chest and listened intently.  “Try taking some deeper breaths for me, John.”

Johnny did his best, but his still tender sternum and ribs prevented total compliance.

Manning took his time, fully aware that he needed to instill confidence in his patient, and wanting to be sure he didn’t miss anything.  Finally finished, he sat back and removed the earpieces from his ears, thinking that Johnny had fallen asleep.  “John?”

Johnny opened his eyes.  “Huh?”

Manning began the re-buttoning process, surmising it would be much more difficult for Johnny to button one handed, than unbutton.  “Everything sounds great.  Do you have any questions before I sign off on your discharge?”

“Can’t think of anything.”

Manning stood and pulled Johnny’s chart out of its cradle, speaking as he scribbled some notes.  “Well, if you do, you know where I am.  And if I’m not here, someone will know how to reach me.  Don’t hesitate to call.”

“Okay, Doc.  Thanks.”

Manning paused by the door.  “You can thank me by inviting me to that wedding that’s coming up.”

Johnny chuckled.  “At this rate, half the staff of Rampart will be there.  But, you got it.”

“Good luck.  I’ll see you at your appointment.”  Manning departed, passing Roy on his way out.

Roy stepped into the room, and held up a duffel bag.  “Hannah packed something for you to wear home.  You get your papers yet?”

“Not yet.  Still waiting on Brackett.”

Roy sat the bag down on the chair.  “Well, it was pretty swamped down in the ER.  He’s probably tied up.”  He looked at his watch.  It was almost noon.  “You eat lunch yet?”

“Nah…I told the aide I didn’t want it.  I figured I’d get something when I get home.  Hannah could fry up whatever she can find on the floor of Red’s stall and it would still taste better than what they serve here.”

Roy made a disgusted face.  “I’ll take your word for it, Junior.”

Johnny was grateful for the small talk.  Leave it to Roy to pretend like everything was business as usual, having grown accustomed to his partner’s moods over the years.  That was one of the things Johnny appreciated most about his best friend, and it was something he didn’t know if he would ever share with Justin, at least not to the same degree.  Roy had an uncanny knack of knowing exactly when something was bothering his friend and he took it a step farther by knowing exactly when he wanted to talk about it, and when he didn’t…a skill which took many tumultuous incidences of trial and error to hone completely.  But, this was one of those times that the moment was right within reach, and Johnny grasped onto it before it could fly away from him.  “Roy, can I talk to you about something?”

Roy had a feeling he knew what this was about.  He had been filled in on one of his between-run visits the previous day that Johnny was having some anxiety over going home.  But unless Roy missed his guess, he was pretty certain there was more to it than that.  “Sure.”

As was often his style when something weighed heavily on his mind, Johnny cut right to the point.  “Roy…how do you do it?”

“Do what?”

Johnny looked down at his lap.  “How do you…how do you deal with the whole family thing?”

Roy knew exactly what Johnny was getting at, but he seized the rare opportunity to get his friend to open up and talk about everything that was on his mind, knowing it would be important to his recovery.  “Well, if you mean how do I deal with having a family…it’s pretty simple.  I mean, sure, there’s times when Joanne’s uptight, or the kids are fighting.  It can get pretty hectic sometimes, I’ll admit that…”

“No…that’s not what I mean, Roy.”

Roy’s tone suddenly turned serious.  “I know it isn’t.”  He waited for Johnny to continue.

“I mean…our job…what we do.  The risks we take…doesn’t it scare you sometimes?”

Roy swallowed hard.  Johnny had touched on a subject he chose not to think about most of the time, and he knew Cap and Belleveau and other firefighters who were married and had children tried to avoid it too.  It was something sacred that just wasn’t brought up, but yet it was always there, lurking ominously in the background.  His mind wandered to the time he sat in Brackett’s office, talking to Joanne’s best friend, Susan.  She had been awaiting news on her critically injured husband, a firefighter named Deke.  Roy had done his level best to keep the atmosphere light, when inside all he could picture was Joanne sitting there in the woman’s place.  “Sure it does.  Mostly, I try not to think about it.”

The words were the same ones Roy used in a conversation they had after Drew Burke had been killed.  Johnny had been thinking about that horrible week a lot lately.  “Roy…after Drew…died…When I saw what Pam went through…and their little girl.  I told myself back then, I was never going to get married.  It just wasn’t worth it.  I just…didn’t want to put someone through what I saw Pam go through.”

Roy thought again about the day they heard their friend Deke had been seriously injured and they saw his wife pacing the waiting room.  Johnny had left all of that to Roy, using the excuse that he would “take care of Deke.”  Well, Deke had been in surgery.  There was nothing to take care of.  And it had not escaped Roy’s notice that Johnny turned white as a ghost at the mere idea of dealing with what Susan had been going through.  In fact, he had been in such a hurry to get out of the area that Roy hadn’t even had time to protest.  Now he knew why.  “Johnny…”

“You probably think that sounds crazy.  All the girls I’ve been with…”

It made perfect sense.  One more piece in the puzzle which was John Gage fell securely into place with resounding clarity.  Johnny had dated a lot of women, that much was true.  But Roy had always suspected Johnny knew deep down that none of them were “wife material.”  Even Valerie.  For years, Johnny had been putting up a good front, possibly doing nothing more than fulfilling a physical need, but he had never really intended to be married.  That is, until he met Hannah.  “It’s not crazy.”

Johnny let out a long sigh.  “I just…I don’t know if I can do it, Roy.  I love my job, but…it’s just too much to think about…I can’t…I just couldn’t do that to her.  And, I know how it feels to grow up without parents.  I have to think about my kid now…”

“How does Hannah feel about this?”

Johnny picked at his blanket.  “I don’t know…we’ve never really talked about it.  She knows how much I love what I do, but…she has to be thinking about it too.  She was really scared after last week.  She pretended not to be, but I could tell…”

“Joanne and I have discussed it.  Of course we have plans in place, that kind of thing.  But in the end we decided that none of us really know when it’s our time to go.  I figure you and I understand that better than most.”

“Yeah…I know.  But…I don’t know, Roy.  In a way it just seems so…selfish.  Like I’m putting what I love to do before my family.  I understand the dangers, but I do it anyway.  And then, if something happened…”

Roy nodded as he finished the thought that niggled at the back of his mind almost constantly.  “That you somehow did it on purpose.  That it could have been avoided if only you could have given up your passion for running into burning buildings.”

“Right.”  That’s what Johnny had been counting on.  Yes, Roy understood completely.  “How do you deal with that…thinking about…what Jo would tell Chris and Jenny?”

“I like to think that maybe Chris and Jennifer could be proud that their father died a noble death, that he gave his life trying to save another…rather than being a random victim of some horrible accident, or doing something really irresponsible.  And that just maybe…Joanne could take some comfort…knowing that they knew that.”

The room was silent as both men contemplated Roy’s explanation.

“Still in your jammies?  I thought you’d be dressed and ready to go by now.”  Brackett joked as he entered the room.  Spying the pensive expressions on his friends’ faces, he apologized.  “I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Roy shot a half-wink at Johnny.  “No.  We were just…talking.”

Johnny smiled hesitantly.  “Right.  About when I can go back to work.  He’s keeping my side of the squad warm for me.  Right, Roy?”

Roy grinned knowingly.  Johnny would work this out.  “Right.”

zzz

Roy glanced over at Johnny who was slumped in the passenger seat of Joanne’s station wagon doing his best to look comfortable, but was failing miserably.  It was a driving challenge, keeping one eye trained on the bumps and dips in the road, so that he could take them smoothly, and one eye trained on his friend.  Experience had taught Roy not to bother asking Johnny how he was holding up, because he would give the same answer no matter how he was feeling, but the younger man’s uncharacteristic silence was proof enough that he was hurting.  “We’re almost there.”  It was a dumb statement, and Roy knew it.  After all, Johnny could certainly see that they would soon be turning onto the long and winding road that would lead to the remote area of the Santa Monicas where his ranch was located.

“Hey, Roy?”  Johnny pointed out a spot ahead of them.  “Take this next right up here.”

Roy was confused.  That was not the way home, and Johnny knew it.  “Don’t you mean left, Johnny?”

“I want to stop at Benny’s first.”

Benny’s was the garage where Johnny’s Rover had been towed after the accident.  If Johnny wanted to go there, it could only mean one thing, that he wanted to see the damage done to his beloved vehicle.  Roy wasn’t sure what to say.  On the one hand, he understood completely.  On the other, Johnny was in obvious pain, and tiring quickly.  He pulled over.  “Johnny, I think we should get home.  Hannah’s waiting.  I could bring you over another…”

“No, Roy.  I wanna do it now.  Please?”  The exhaustion was apparent in Johnny’s voice, but he hoped that Roy would understand this was something he needed to do.

Roy gave in at the plaintive expression on his friend’s face.  “You sure you’re up to it?”  What was he saying?  Of course Johnny wasn’t really up to this, and of course he would say that he was.

“It’ll only take a minute.”  There.  At least he didn’t lie.

Roy sighed and shifted the car into drive, pulling back onto the road and making the requested right hand turn.  He turned into Benny’s Garage and got out, intending to ask the owner for permission to drive into the gated area where the Rover was being kept safe as police evidence.  A few minutes later, he returned, and drove around to the back of the building.

Johnny’s eyes scanned the surroundings, moving over the numerous vehicles in various stages of destruction before finding the one he was looking for.  He had seen his share of the decimated masses of metal motor vehicle accidents left behind, so he had already formed an idea in his mind of what to expect, but seeing the reality now…his trusted friend, both side doors completely missing, the hood crumpled beyond recognition, the spare tire gone, the steering wheel twisted and bent backwards through the absent windshield, and a ragged, gaping hole where the hatch door used to be…sent a lump to his throat that threatened to choke him.  Memories of all the adventures the two of them had been on together flipped through his mind in rapid succession, before finally giving way to the starker picture.  He had seen vehicles in better shape than this one where death to the occupants had been instantaneous.  He was lucky to be alive.

Although Roy had already seen the wreckage Johnny’s accident had left behind, he still was not immune to its power.  The difference was, he was seeing more than what was left of Johnny’s cherished truck.  When Roy looked at the mess of gnarled, white steel, he could still picture his best friend literally pinned in the front seat, and the glazed look in his eyes as his life drained away in front of him.  He could still feel the desperate grip on his hand when Johnny realized he was about to lose his leg. And the excruciating screams that tore from his friend’s throat as Mike’s saw cut through the pole, still echoed through the ghostly, blood stained interior.  Even as that memory once again assaulted him, Roy’s eyes moved to Johnny’s face, trying to read the emotion there.  He silently hoped Johnny would be content staying in the car, figuring he really didn’t need to see the large, dark stains covering the driver’s seat and carpeting.

Johnny released a long breath.  “Man…”

“Yeah.”

Johnny silently paid his respects to his old, trusted steed.  He tried to find some significance to grasp onto…that maybe this was a sign that a chapter of his younger, wilder days had come to a close.  After all, it was only a truck.  But emotion crept behind the bridge of his nose, unexpectedly and unwelcome.  He raised a hand to staunch it before it could make itself known.

Roy looked over in concern.  “Johnny?”

And it was then that everything came crashing into focus.  Roy.  His best friend…his voice taking on that cracked timbre it always did when he was worried about him.

Johnny’s mind abruptly traipsed back to a rescue they had been on where a construction worker’s leg was pinned by a metal rod and he was in danger of being crushed by a weakened wall before they could cut through the rod and free him.  The man had begged Roy to take off his leg, because he knew he would be dead before Dr. Early could arrive.  And Johnny remembered the look on Roy’s face, and the impossible decision he faced.  His stomach knotted as he considered what might have gone on at the scene of his crash.  “I…I uh…don’t remember anything about that night…the accident…”

“Probably better that way, don’t you think?”  I wish I could forget.

Johnny’s brow squinted thoughtfully.  Roy wasn’t volunteering any details, not that Johnny could blame him.  “Roy…do you remember…that man who was pinned at that construction site?  He wanted you to take his leg…”

“Yeah.”  Roy swallowed hard.  He remembered.  Up until the night of Johnny’s accident, he had thought it was the most difficult rescue he had ever faced.  Leave it to the fates to show him just how horribly wrong he had been.

“After it was over…I told you I was glad it was you and not me.”

“Yeah…”  Roy remembered the conversation well.  They had been sitting in the squad after delivering the man to Rampart, thankfully with his leg still intact due to Johnny’s speed and skill on the saw.  Johnny had raised the microphone to his mouth, as he had routinely done after every run, to make the squad available.  But, this time, he hesitated, dropping the mike and looking searchingly over at his partner.  Johnny had asked Roy what he would have done if his last minute efforts hadn’t managed to free their victim from his predicament.  And Roy had answered truthfully.  He honestly didn’t know.

Johnny’s gaze again turned toward the remains of the Rover as he tried once again to put himself in the other man’s boots.  “Well, Pally…this may sound selfish, but…I’m still glad it was you and not me.  Because, if it had been you in the car that night…I don’t know what the hell I would have done.”

Roy’s throat tightened as he thought of that night.  He couldn’t blame Johnny for feeling the way he did, but as appalling as it was, the thing he could recall with certainty was that having his best friend alive and incomplete was a far cry better than the alternative.  “Yes you do.”

Roy was right, of course.  Johnny would have done whatever was necessary to save his friend’s life.  How could he have faced Joanne, Chris, or Jennifer if he hadn’t?  How would he have ever looked in a mirror again?  He took a deep breath and put an end to the somewhat uncomfortable silence.  “Well, I guess we better head home.”

“Right.”  Roy shifted into drive and began to pull away.

Johnny took one last look out his window.  Bye, old friend.

No words were spoken until Roy turned onto the road leading to Johnny’s ranch.  As the mile markers ticked off one by one, Johnny’s eyes followed his hand to his left leg.  How many times had he cursed it in recent weeks for hurting or stubbornly refusing to support his weight?  Even now, it ached terribly and was beginning to cramp.  But when he thought about how easily things could have turned out differently…how easily he could have been sitting here now looking down at a wrapped stump, the wheelchair in the back a permanent part of his life, rather than a temporary inconvenience…how close he had come to leaving Hannah alone to raise their baby without a father…he could literally feel things fall into proper perspective.

Roy must have noticed the pained look on Johnny’s face, and the position of his hand on his thigh.  “You all right?”

Johnny continued to stare out the window reflectively.  “Never been better.”

Roy smiled knowingly as he made the turn onto the long gravel lane that led to the ranch.

The sight of his house invited Johnny’s eyes forward.  He thought of Hannah, who would be inside waiting for him, and the upcoming wedding that would bind them together forever.  He thought of the baby she was carrying and all of the things he wanted to teach him…or her.   And, he noticed the conspicuous empty parking spot beside his pickup truck.  “Roy?  You think maybe once I’m getting around a little better, we could go look at some new cars?”

Roy had counted on it.  “Sure, Johnny.  What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, Roy.  I need something with four wheel drive.  You know, because Hannah and I will want to take our kid camping and stuff.  But, I don’t know.  I’m thinking maybe it’s time to start looking at a family car.  You know?  I mean the Rover was great and all, but it was really more of a bachelor car, don’t you think?  I mean after all…”

Roy did his best not to laugh as he got out of the car mid rant and moved to the back in order to retrieve Johnny’s wheelchair.  Johnny may have been getting ready to enter a new chapter of his life, but some things, Roy mused, would never change.  And he was grateful for that.

zzz

Hannah pulled aside the gingham curtain covering the back door window at the sound of an approaching vehicle.  “Justin?  They’re here.”

Justin quickly bounded out the door and down the deck steps.  He arrived at the station wagon just as Roy was pulling the wheelchair out of the back and he opened the passenger side door.  Leaning one arm on the roof of the car, he leaned into his friend’s line of sight.  “Welcome home, John.  You feel up to trying the stairs?”

Johnny looked past his friend at the six wooden steps that led to his deck and considered his options.  The only other way into the house was through the front door, but that would entail a ride down a very uneven path in his wheelchair and an additional two steps onto the front porch.  Either way, his wheelchair wasn’t going to cut it, and he would either need to try it on his own, supported by his friends, or be carried.  “Yeah…let’s give it a shot.”  Johnny hoped he sounded more enthusiastic than he felt.

Justin and Roy got into position as they had practiced several times in Johnny’s hospital room.  Justin would stand on Johnny’s left side, helping him to support himself while Roy assisted on the right, keeping Johnny from bearing any weight on his right knee or foot.  In this way, the two men acted as human crutches.  Justin did some final coaching before he would help Johnny onto his feet.  “Okay, John.  Now remember…take as much weight on that leg as you can handle, but lean on me as much as you need to.”  He waited until Johnny nodded his assent before receiving confirmation from Roy that he was ready, and both men offered their shoulders, their hands around Johnny’s waist.

Instinctively afraid of falling, Johnny’s chest erupted in pain as he used the muscles in his upper body to help support himself.  Justin had anticipated this.  “Relax, John.  Roy and I have you.”  After allowing a moment for Johnny to get his bearings, he urged him on.  “You ready?”

Johnny paused.  The earth felt as though it was tilting slightly under his feet.  “Yeah…let’s go.”

“Okay, take your time.”  Roy shouldered his friend’s weight, being careful not to allow the braced knee and foam booted foot to touch the ground.  The few steps they needed to cover between the car and the steps were painstakingly slow.

The trio paused at the bottom of the stairs as each man considered what to do next.  Johnny was already shaky and tired, and although everyone knew he would not be making it to the top, the silent mutual agreement seemed to be to allow him to do as much as he could. 

Justin helped Johnny ease his left leg onto the first step, and waited for Roy to follow, fully aware that he was now supporting Johnny’s entire left side.  “John?  Talk to me.”

Johnny found it hard to speak through the pain and nausea he was experiencing.  The four steps he had taken had already caused his weakened left leg to shake uncontrollably from muscle fatigue, and the smallest amount of weight on it caused him to want to pass out.  Worse yet, as his breathing quickened in response to that discomfort, the sensitive nerve endings surrounding his sternum and ribs seemed determined to rebel, and he began feeling lightheaded.  He had been through the recuperation process before, but it never ceased to amaze him, or frustrate him, how one ill fated accident could so easily and effectively transform this normally strong, athletic fireman into a weak, exhausted invalid.

One nod from Justin was all it took and he and Roy seamlessly lifted Johnny into a two man carry, taking him quickly up the remaining five steps and gently depositing him onto a deck chair.  It was then that a soft voice and a warm hand cut through the fog.

“John, it’s okay.  Try to slow your breathing down.”  Hannah watched as Justin returned with the wheelchair and began unfolding it.  “We’ll have you inside in a minute.”

Johnny waited until the edges of his vision cleared and he looked up.  Spying the wheelchair beside him, he started to get up in order to pivot into it, but he was stopped by three sets of hands.

“Huh-uh.  You don’t do anything, John.  We got you.”  Justin gave the count and Johnny felt himself being lifted straight up and settled into the chair. 

Hannah could tell how uncomfortable her fiancé was, and not just physically.  She leaned down and planted a kiss on his cheek.  “You feel like eating something, or are you ready for a nap?”

The aroma of whatever Hannah had been cooking for lunch hit Johnny as soon as he was wheeled across the threshold into the kitchen.  While he knew under normal circumstances, it would have had his mouth watering, the ordeal of coming home had stolen his appetite.  “I’m sorry, honey.  I’m sure it’s something really good…”

Hannah knelt down in front of the chair, her green eyes brimming with understanding.  “It’s nothing that won’t keep.  Now let’s get you to bed.”

Johnny nodded gratefully.  He was beyond exhausted, and as much as he hated being doted over, he had to admit there was nothing quite like having someone as special as Hannah taking care of him.  As Johnny was wheeled down the hall, he breathed in the familiar essence of home.  But, then it occurred to him that something was missing.  “Where’s Camarin?  And the girls?”

Justin decided to field that one.  “They’ve moved in with me, John.  We figured you and Hannah could use some privacy.”

Johnny was grateful for the generosity of his friend.  And it made sense.  Once Justin and Camarin were married, they would be a family.  Johnny wondered if Justin planned to adopt Kaya and Rose, but he was too worn out to bring it up now.  He decided he would talk to him about it later.  “Man, you have a full house…”

“Not really,” Justin corrected.  “I guess you didn’t hear.  Tag is staying at the Stanleys’.”

“He is?”  Johnny raised a curious eyebrow.

Roy realized maybe he should have kept his friend more up to date on the station happenings.  “Yeah, Johnny.  Cap’s really taken him under his wing.  He even helped him get a job pumping gas at the service station down at Alameda and Waverly.  He’ll be done with the academy in another month, and he’s going to work on B-shift.  Then, he’ll look for his own place.”

“Wow…that’s great.”  Johnny was having trouble staying focused on the conversation.  As much as he wanted to spend some time with Hannah, he couldn’t wait to get to bed.  Every part of his body was hurting now.  As Justin pushed him into his bedroom, a bundle of gray and white energy greeted him by jumping up at the wheelchair.

“Down, Mika!”  Hannah commanded, but the puppy continued until finally she wrestled him out of the room and closed the door.

“Mika?”  Johnny queried.

“Yes…”  Hannah was out of breath from her attempts at corralling the playful pup.  “Kaya and Rose named him.  He has masklike markings on his face, and they said he looked like a raccoon.”

“Oh, yeah…mika.”  Johnny searched through his memories until he found the long forgotten Lakota word for the masked bandit known as a raccoon.

Justin set the brakes on the chair and leaned over his friend.  “Think you can walk over to the bed if we help you?”

Johnny stared at the gap between him and the bed.  It was only a few steps, but it seemed impossibly far.  He despised sounding like a wimp, but he was starting to ache so much now he was getting nauseous.  And never in his life could he remember feeling this incredibly fatigued.  “I don’t know…’m tired.”

The other three in the room exchanged uneasy glances.  The understanding that this had been exceptionally difficult for Johnny to admit was unanimous.  Justin spoke softly near his friend’s ear.  “Okay, John.  Just sit tight.”

Hannah moved to the bed and pulled down the covers before reaching for the extra pillows she had purchased the day before.  Roy and Justin swiftly and carefully lifted Johnny out of the chair and deposited him on the bed, with Justin offering a suggestion.  “Do you want to lie on your left side, John?”  The physical therapist remembered that Johnny had been most comfortable in that position. 

Johnny nodded, cursing the groans that were escaping uninvited as he was helped into position.  Pillows supported his right knee and foot and he was given a smaller one to clutch against his chest.  Finally acknowledging that he was as comfortable as he was going to get, he could already feel sleep overtaking him, as if every muscle fiber in his body was melting into the familiar mattress beneath him.  He became distantly aware of Hannah’s soothing hands on his back as the efforts of the past hour coerced him into slumber.  It was good to be home.

zzz

It was evening, and Roy and Justin had gone home, leaving Johnny’s care in the capable hands of Hannah.  She had just finished filling out the log they were required to keep for Dr. Manning and was ready for bed herself.  She slipped beneath the covers as gently as she could manage, trying not to disturb the bed, and thus her fiancé’s rest any more than was absolutely necessary.  She let loose a quiet expletive when her efforts failed and Johnny began to stir.  “Shhh…” She rested a hand on his back, hoping he would settle back into sleep.  “Sorry, John.  It’s just me.  Go back to sleep.”

“And miss my goodnight kiss?”  Johnny mumbled playfully.

“Of course not.”  Hannah leaned in and delivered the kiss before settling down on her own pillow.  She was lying behind Johnny as he was still on his left side, and she rubbed slow circles on his back.  “Are you comfortable?”

“Mmm hmmmm.”  Johnny offered sleepily.  “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“Me too.  This bed’s been awfully lonely the past few months.” 

It pained Johnny to think about what he had put Hannah through.  First, he had been away on the reservation only to be involved in an auto accident as soon as he returned, before they had the chance to even spend one night together.  But as lonesome as he had felt in the cold, drafty bedroom at Camarin’s and in his lumpy bed at Rampart, he imagined it must have been even more difficult for Hannah to sleep in the bed they were used to sharing together, with his half achingly bare.  “Sorry…”

Hannah stopped rubbing circles, slightly taken aback by Johnny’s apology.  “Sorry?  There’s nothing to be sorry for, honey…”

Johnny reminded himself to thank his father’s spirit for sending him such a wonderfully supportive and understanding woman.  “Hannah…I never…never got to tell you what I found out on the rez.”

Hannah had been curious about what secrets Johnny had uncovered in South Dakota, other than finding out Camarin was his half sister.  But every time the two of them had tried to talk about it, they had either been interrupted by a nurse here, or an exam there, or one of the almost constant stream of visitors to Johnny’s room.  “No, you didn’t.  But, it can wait ‘til tomorrow, John.  It’s late.  And you need your rest.”  She resumed rubbing circles, her hand sliding underneath Johnny’s T-shirt.

There was so much Johnny wanted to tell Hannah, but his eyelids were made heavy by his body’s work of healing itself and the Tramadol he had taken a few hours earlier.  “Chaske…killed my…papa…”

Johnny’s words filled Hannah with both heartbreak and relief.  She had been concerned Johnny would find out he had been the one to murder his father.  “John…I’m sorry…”

“’Sokay…papa…he’s been…looking out for me.  If he wouldn’t have died…I would’ve never met…you.”

Hannah was interested in hearing more of this story, but she knew Johnny was fighting sleep’s inviting embrace.  She snuggled down into her covers, content and comfortable in her lover’s presence.  “I love you.”

Johnny’s words were almost unintelligible as he finally gave in.  “Love you…”

zzz

Several days passed and the subject of what Johnny had learned on the reservation did not come up again.  Hannah was curious, but she did not push.  It was as if Johnny was so happy to be home that he did not wish to dwell on the bittersweet memories he had brought back with him, choosing to forge ahead by turning the discussion to the wedding and the baby.  Hannah knew that one day, when the time was right, Johnny would disclose the mysteries surrounding his childhood in the Black Hills.  But for now, the couple was content just being together.

Roy stopped by this morning on his way home from work.  He stopped short and smiled at what he heard through the open kitchen window.

“I wanna do it by myself!”  Johnny exclaimed fractiously.

“John Gage, I swear you can be the most stubborn man on earth sometimes.” 

Roy peeked through the back door to see Hannah standing with her hands on her hips.  He knocked.

“Come in!”  Hannah shouted, none too patiently.

Roy eased open the door and stepped in cautiously.  “Good morning.  Is this a bad time?  I can come back…”

“No, Roy.  It’s not a bad time.”  Johnny sat in his wheelchair with his arms crossed.  “I was just telling Hannah I want to make breakfast by myself, and she…”  Johnny paused for emphasis, throwing a dagger laden glare at his fiancée.  “…doesn’t think I can do it.”

Roy had to stifle a laugh.  The inflection in Johnny’s voice when he said “by myself” reminded him of another instance when his partner had used those same words with him.  He fingered the object in his jacket pocket before pulling it out and offering it to the disgruntled man in the chair.  “Here, Johnny.  Maybe this will take your mind off things, and uh…give you something to do.”

Johnny accepted the wooden puzzle ball that had been given to him and Roy by Lorenzo the Magnificent.  And he remembered how frustrated he had become trying to solve it, only to have it literally fall apart in Roy’s hands.  “Oh, man.  Where did you find this?”

Roy shoved his hands into his pockets.  “At home.  Jennifer and Chris got bored with it.”

Johnny frowned.  “Hmph.  Got tired of trying to solve it, huh?”

“Well, not exactly…”

Johnny’s eyes widened in disbelief.  “You mean…?”

Roy answered with a nod which seemed to flip a switch in his friend.

“Well, I could have figured it out too if you would have given me the chance!  All I needed was a little more time, that’s all!”  Johnny was gesturing as wildly as he was able with his injuries.  “But no…you had to just…swoop in…and…and…solve it before I had a chance to figure it out!  You knew I wanted to do it by myself, but you had to…”

As the tirade continued, Hannah nonchalantly crossed over to a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out a small binder.  She sat down at the table with it, and looked up at Johnny, momentarily interrupting him.  She needed to call his name three times before he came up for air and answered her.

“In a minute, honey.  You see…I had it just about figured out.  I was this close and Roy just…”

Hannah spoke loud enough to be heard.  “I was just wondering how you would like me to notate this discussion in your log for Dr. Manning, so he has an explanation for the sudden tachycardia.”

Roy played along, answering for his still raving and highly agitated friend.  “Just put down ‘ranting.’  That should be the only explanation needed.”

Roy’s comment stopped Johnny mid sentence and he regarded him with a sneer.  “Oh, ha ha.  Very funny.”  Johnny tossed the ball to Hannah with a sigh.

Then the conversation turned serious.  Roy took a seat at the table and carefully scrutinized Johnny’s demeanor.  “So, what’s this about wanting to make breakfast?”

Johnny sighed and slumped his shoulders.  “I need to do…something…around here.  I hate just sitting here watching Hannah do everything.”

 

Hannah closed the binder.  “John, I understand.  I really do.  But, I don’t mind cooking your breakfast.”

“I know you don’t.  It’s just…I just…”

Roy figured he probably understood Johnny’s frustration just a bit better than Hannah.  He remembered times when he had been forced to rest after various injuries and how maddening it had been sitting there watching Joanne wait on him hand and foot.  It didn’t matter that he was grateful for a loving wife, or even that she seemed to enjoy lavishing him with attention.  Roy had had trouble getting past the overwhelming feeling of guilt and self deprecation.  “I know, Johnny.  But…are you really ready for that?  How long have you been able to stand on that leg at one time?”

“Well, if I don’t start doing it, I’ll never find out, now will I?”  Johnny immediately retracted the sarcasm tinted words he aimed at Hannah.  “I’m sorry…”

Hannah stood.  “No…no, John.  I’m sorry.  You’re right.  You need to start trying.  I guess I just enjoy having you around to wait on.” She leaned in for a quick kiss before straightening and wiping her hands off on her jeans before grasping onto the handles of Johnny’s wheelchair.  She pushed him over to the counter and locked the brakes.  Then, she stepped back and took a deep breath as she observed his slow, agonizing ascent.

Johnny placed his left foot on the floor, and gripped the arms of the chair.  He tried to corral the groan that managed to escape as the simple act of standing up was transformed into and experience akin to torture.  Pushing with his arms caused intermittent thorny barbs in his chest to erupt into full blown agony.  And the deep ache in his leg and hip was so nauseating, he figured he would no longer be able to stomach the very meal he was determined to prepare for himself.  Leaning on the counter heavily for support, he tried to get his breath, waiting for his nerves to settle down.  It wasn’t working.  But, he was committed now, and bent on finishing what he had started.  Using the counter, he shakily sidled sideways toward the cupboard where he knew the cereal was kept.

As difficult as it was for Roy and Hannah to stand back and not interfere, they allowed Johnny this small bit of independence.  After all, neither could argue that he needed to be allowed chances to build up his strength.  Trying not to hover, they positioned themselves in close enough proximity to be able to catch Johnny if he faltered.  They watched as he retrieved the cereal and a bowl, fighting back their urge to help when his still splinted right hand clumsily fumbled with the box.  And they finally breathed collective sighs of relief when Johnny, with great difficulty, eased himself back down into the chair before reaching up and grabbing his bowl off the counter and holding it in his lap.

After taking a moment to catch his breath, Johnny balanced his meal on his knees and wheeled himself over to the refrigerator, opening it.  He frowned when he realized he couldn’t reach the milk.

Hannah looked at Roy, torn.  She knew Johnny did not have the strength to push out of the chair again, but she did not want to upset him by offering to help.  Nor, did she want to rub further salt into an open wound by forcing him to ask for her assistance.  But when Johnny rested his head in his hand in an open expression of defeat, she was spurred to action.

Roy held her back and moved to the refrigerator himself.  He unobtrusively plucked the milk from its lofty perch.  “Here.”

But Johnny thrust his bowl into Roy’s hands, accidentally spilling some of its contents, and wheeled himself into the living room as quickly as he was able.

“John…”  Hannah started to go after him, but Roy again stopped her.  If she was going to be married to Johnny, she would have to learn how to deal with his moods.

“Just give him some space.  He’s gotta deal with this in his own way.  He’ll come around.”

Hannah flopped herself down at the table.  “I know, Roy.  God, it’s just so frustrating sometimes.  Why does he have to be this way?”

Roy took a seat beside Hannah and did his best to explain.  “Well…part of it is what Joanne refers to as ‘macho fireman crap’.”

That reference brought a tiny smile to Hannah’s face.  “Right.  She and I have talked about that.”

“And the rest is…well, try to remember that Johnny’s been on his own for a long time.  He’s used to taking care of himself.  He’d never admit it, but I think there’s a part of him that’s proud he was able to overcome his past and make it the way he has.  And when he has to admit he needs help…”

Hannah cut Roy off as realization struck.  “This is about more than just the ability to do things for himself, isn’t it?  It’s about…independence in general.  Getting married…the baby…”

Roy reached across the table, stopping the flow of words by grasping onto Hannah’s hands.  “Hannah, I’ve never seen Johnny as happy as he’s been since he found you.  He wants this…believe me.  It’s just…he has to come to terms with it, has to figure out exactly how he fits into these new roles.  Does that make sense?”

“Sure it does.  He’s never been a husband…or a father…”  Hannah’s words trailed off.  Of course.  It wasn’t as if Johnny’s own father had been a shining example for him to follow.  She wondered if he was secretly worried about the cycle of abuse repeating itself.  To know what kind of man Johnny was, it seemed absurd.  But, it made sense in sort of a twisted way.  “Oh, God…”

Roy realized Hannah had come to the same conclusion he had not long ago.  “He’ll work through it, Hannah.  Just give it some time.”

Hannah nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes, cursing herself for being so wrapped up in her own excitement that this insight into what Johnny was dealing with had only just now occurred to her.  Quickly brushing it aside, she stood.  “Well, if John wants a model to follow, he only needs to look as far as his best friend.”

A slight blush colored Roy’s cheeks.  “I think Joanne might argue with you a bit on that one.”

“Huh-uh.”  Hannah knew better.

zzz

Three weeks later, everyone was gathered at the home of Hank and Marie Stanley to celebrate Tag’s graduation from the fire academy.  Johnny was now able to walk using crutches, but found that his left leg, which still needed to support most of his weight, would tire easily, necessitating the use of the wheel chair whenever he wanted to go out.  Today, he sat on a chair in the Stanleys’ back yard, happy to be able to spend some time with his friends from the station.

“So…two weeks until the big day huh, Johnny?”  Mike cajoled as he handed Johnny a bottle of soda.

“Yeah…two weeks.”  Johnny tried removing the bottle cap, only to give up when his weakened right hand refused to fully cooperate.  He handed the bottle back to Mike so he could open it.

“And don’t forget, gentlemen…”  Chet reminded through a mouthful of potato chips.  “Bachelor party.  My pad.  Friday the 8^th at seven.”

Johnny accepted the open soda and took a sip.  “Chet, I don’t know…”

“Oh come on, babe.  It’s your bachelor party.  Your last night of freedom.  The last hurrah before being tied down for the rest of your life…”  Chet was on a roll.

Seeing Johnny visibly gulp, Roy decided it was time to exercise his first duty as best man and rescue his friend.  “Chet…give it a rest.”  And then to Johnny, “I promise it’ll be fun…and it won’t get you into trouble with Hannah.”

“That’s the trouble with you, Roy…”  Chet scoffed.  “You’ve been married too long.  You should just leave the bachelor party planning to ol’ Chet…”

The banter was interrupted by the commanding voice of their captain.  “Listen up, everyone!”  Once the noise had died down and Cap had everyone’s attention, he motioned for Tag to stand beside him.  “As you all know, we’re here today to celebrate the graduation of the newest addition to the 51 family.”  Cap turned to look at the young man beside him.  “Tag, on behalf of Station 51 and the Los Angeles County Fire Department…congratulations, pal.”

Tag accepted Cap’s handshake with a ‘thank you.’

Everyone took turns offering Tag their official congratulations and the party continued for about an hour before Hannah noticed Johnny seemed to be really tiring.  She knelt down in front of him and rested her hands on his knees.  “You ready to go?”

Johnny hated admitting that it was time to leave.  It had been a long time since he had the opportunity to visit with all of his friends and he didn’t want it to end.  But, as the day wore on, his stiff muscles began aching and his energy lagged.  “Yeah…”

Once Johnny and Hannah announced their imminent departure, most of the others followed suit, offering their final words of gratitude to the Stanleys and one or two more words of appreciation to Tag. 

Upon arrival at home, Johnny made his way slowly up the stairs and entered the kitchen to the sound of a ringing phone.  “Hannah?  Can you get that?”  He was concerned the caller would hang up before he could hobble over to answer.

Hannah crossed the kitchen and picked up the receiver.  “Hello?”  Covering the mouthpiece with her hand, she informed Johnny, “It’s Vince Howard.  Says he’s been trying to reach you all day.” 

Johnny watched, curious, as Hannah’s expression folded into a frown.  “What does he want?”

Hannah held up a hand and turned away.  “I see…yes, I’ll let him know.  Thanks, Vince.”  After a few more seconds, she hung up the phone and turned to her fiancé.  “Vince said he got a call from the Shannon County Sherriff’s Department.  They found Chaz.”

Johnny leaned on his crutches.  “Well, if they want to know if I’m pressing charges, the answer is…”

Hannah shook her head.  “No…no, John.  They uh…they found Chaz’s body behind a bar about ten miles outside of the reservation.”

Johnny’s skin paled.  “What?”

Hannah watched Johnny carefully, concerned he might lose the ability to support himself.  “Vince said he had been shot three times.  He’s…gone, John.  Your case is officially closed.”

Johnny faltered slightly, causing Hannah to take him by the arm and guide him into one of the chairs at the table.  His expression was a mixture of astonishment and confusion.

Hannah sat down next to him.  “According to Vince…they’re not sure who did it or why.  Some say it was race related, and some say he tried to rob the bar…was causing some trouble…”

Johnny pounded his fist on the table.  It didn’t take a genius to figure out which side was claiming racial violence and which was claiming Chaz brought about his own demise.  It didn’t matter anyway.  No matter who was right, a young life was snuffed out in the blink of an eye, and for what?  Johnny thought back a few months to the first time he met Chaz and Tag in the parking lot across from the Harvest Moon.  At that time, they were two street thugs bent on robbing him, possibly even killing him for the meager amount of cash he had in his pocket.  But even then, Johnny had seen more than that.  He saw the product of poverty and abuse, the end result of generations of oppression and fear.  But worst of all, he saw in their scarred faces and hate bruised eyes, a reflection of how easily his life could have turned out differently.

His mind returned to the day’s festivities and Tag, clad in his newly earned dress blues, proudly accepting his badge from the chief.  He was one of the lucky ones, one who had been given the chance to overcome the ghosts his past, one who was brave enough to take it…just like he was.

Opportunity.  Two young boys, the same age, born at the same time and place.  Raised in the same neighborhood.  Now, one was eagerly awaiting a new and exciting career in the big city.  The other was dead.  And it all came down to a few simple things.  Circumstances.  Choices.  Luck.

“John…”

Johnny shook his head and closed his eyes, tensing his jaw.  “What a waste…” He murmured under his breath.

Hannah reached across the table and covered Johnny’s hands with her own.  The couple sat in silence for a long time before Hannah finally ventured a guess about what was going through Johnny’s mind.  “You can’t save everyone, John.  Chaz was not your responsibility…”

“I know…but maybe if I’d have just…”

“John, he tried to kill you.  More than once.  When given the opportunity, Tag made the right decisions.  Chaz could have too.  He was a big boy…capable of knowing right from wrong…”

“Was he, Hannah?”  Johnny grabbed his crutches and rose to his feet.  “Now we’ll never know.”  He made his way out onto the deck.

zzz

It was early morning the day before the wedding and Justin was helping Johnny through a physical therapy session in his new clinic.  Johnny still needed to wear the brace on his right leg, but he, Justin, and his doctors were pleased with his progress.

Johnny looked past his friend at the wall of ceiling to floor windows in the therapy room that offered a panoramic view of the ocean.  “This is really a great place you have here, Justin.”

Justin looked up from adding more weight to the machine Johnny was using.  “Thanks.  Cam and I have a lot of work to do until we get it up and running the way we want it to.  We’re going to put the shop in the main room, right where you come in.  Then, she’ll have a little room off of that where she can consult with clients and recommend different herbs or therapies.”  He pointed to his left.  “The small room over there is going to be for acupuncture and acupressure, once I get licensed.  And next to it is where I’ll be doing massage therapy.  You should see some of the stuff Cam picked out, John.  Fountains…an aquarium…it’s really gonna be terrific.”

Johnny blew out a breath, having finished his required number of repetitions.  “So, are you gonna quit working at Rampart?”

The question hung in the air for a few moments before Justin answered with a smile and a shake of his head.  “I couldn’t do that to Todd.  I already talked to him about it.  It’s gonna take a while for us to really get established here, and as we get busier, I may have to cut back on my time there.  But, no…I’m not leaving.”  Justin stood and stretched his neck.  “Besides, someone needs to be there to make sure you’ve got ice on your next boo boo.”

Johnny made a face and threw his towel at his friend.  “Oh, ha-ha!  Well, I don’t plan on needing your services any time soon, my friend, so you can just feel free to…”  He gestured to their surroundings.  “...spend as much time here as you need to.”  Then, his expression turned serious.  “And if you need any help fixing the place up, you know you can count on Hannah and me.”

“Yeah, I know.”  Justin handed Johnny his crutches.  “But, you two are gonna have plenty to do.  A honeymoon…getting settled into married life…and then, once that little one comes along, you’ll really be busy.”

Johnny sat holding his crutches, his brows scrunched in a pondering frown.  “Yeah…yeah, that’s for sure.”

Justin picked up on his friend’s somewhat unenthusiastic demeanor and he knelt down in front of him.  “Hey…you wouldn’t be getting cold feet, now would you?”

Johnny looked up as if startled.  “Who, me?”  He shook his head.  “Why would you think that?”

“Oh, come on, John.  I know you and Hannah have been living together for a while now, but this is a really big step you’re taking tomorrow.  And then with having a baby so soon…that’s enough to make anyone nervous.  I know I would be.”

Johnny stared down at the floor.  “Okay…yeah…I guess maybe I am a little nervous.  But, don’t tell Hannah, okay?”

Justin smiled.  “Don’t worry.”

“It’s just that…I don’t know, Justin.”  Johnny wiped a hand over his eyes.  “I always envied Roy a little, you know?  The way he has Joanne and his family to go home to every day…the way he has someone to…someone who…”

“Cares about what happens to him?  Someone to worry about him?”  Justin knew all too well what Johnny was describing.  Although he had living family, he had felt this way himself many times.

“Yeah.”  Johnny sat quietly, gathering his thoughts.  “But, I’m finding out…having a family…”

“It’s a huge responsibility.”

“Right.  But, it’s more than that.  It’s…well, my job for one thing.  I can’t imagine doing anything else.  But, it can be really dangerous…And, well…I never used to think about it so much.  The danger.  And what could happen.  I just did what I had to do.”

Justin nodded in understanding.  “And now…you’re thinking about Hannah, and your child…thinking about how it would affect them if something were to happen to you.”

“You got it.”

Justin stood up and leaned against the exercise machine Johnny was sitting on.  “Have you talked to Roy about this?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did he have to say about it?”

Johnny smiled and sat up straighter.  “Well, you know Roy.  He gave me some good advice.  But…he thinks about it too.  I know he does.”

“Well, who wouldn’t, John?  But, you can’t go through life worrying about it.  You’re good at what you do.  And, you love it.  Hannah would never want you to give that up for her or for your family.  And, honestly…none of us really know what life is going to hand us.  I mean, look at you.  You were in a car accident.  You see it every day.  How many of the people you rescue are injured at work?”

“Not many.”  Johnny admitted.  He was quiet for a minute or two and then added, “There’s something else too…”

“What’s that?”

“Well…before, when I’ve been sick or hurt…I’ve always had to take care of myself.  I mean, Roy and Jo have helped me out…but with Hannah…”

Justin thought he knew exactly what Johnny was getting at.  “She’s mothering you a bit, huh?”

“Not really…she’s just…well, yeah.  I guess you could put it that way.”

Justin stood back, shifting his weight, a sly look on his face.  “Hmmm…nice to have someone to take care of you, isn’t it?”

Johnny took a deep breath and released it.  These were all things he could deal with.  Not marrying Hannah was not an option.  He could no longer imagine his life without her.  And the fact that she was carrying his child…that just made things sweeter.  “Yeah…It really is.”  He looked out at the sun glistening off the white caps.  It was getting late.  “I’m getting married tomorrow…”  His voice sounded far away.

“What, John?”

Johnny looked up at his friend and grinned broadly.  “I’m getting married tomorrow.”

Johnny’s contagious smile pulled one from Justin as well.  “Yep!”

“Wow, man…”

Justin couldn’t help but laugh.  “And I’ve gotta get you home  so I can get over to Chet’s and help him get things ready for your bachelor party tonight.”  He pointed at Johnny’s crutches.  “Shall we?”

Johnny planted the crutches firmly on the wooden floor as if he was preparing to stand.  But, then he handed them to his friend.  “I wanna try something.”

Justin watched as Johnny slowly, and a bit shakily, rose to his feet without the aid of his crutches.  It was something he knew his friend had been working on, and he stood at the ready, in case his help was needed.  A proud smile lit the therapist’s face when Johnny appeared to be standing steadily without aid.  “That’s great, John.  Hannah will be so surprised tomorrow when she sees you standing there waiting for her…without these.”  He held up the crutches.

“Yeah…I just hope I can last for the whole ceremony.”

Justin winked.  “Well, maybe Roy could talk to Chaplain MacElhaney.  Tell him to keep it short and sweet.”

“Yeah, right.”  Johnny accepted the offered crutches from Justin and followed him out to the car.

zzz

Hank Stanley stood in the center of Chet’s apartment living room, lofting a bottle of beer high in the air.  “Here’s to the end of an era.  As of tomorrow…the bachelorhood of John Gage will be a thing of the past…no more phone calls at the station in the middle of the night from the girl of the week…no more Saturday morning discussions over the previous night’s escapades…John?  We love ya, pal.  But…I think I speak for all of us when I say…are you sure?  I mean life around the station just isn’t going to be the same…”

Johnny laughed in the light of Cap’s joking tone.  “Yeah, Cap.  I’m sure.”

“Well, in that case…”  Cap raised his bottle higher.  “To Johnny and Hannah!  May your marriage be forever free of nagging…and may it outlast the life of your wife’s car.”  All of Cap’s subordinates knew he was referring to Marie’s Edsel.  “As I’ve said in the past…it’s great being married…most of the time.”

After a chorus of “here-here’s” Mike patted Johnny on the back.  “Hey, Johnny.  Have you met the mother in law yet?”

“Not in person, Mike.  But, I’ve talked to her on the phone.  She’s really very nice…”  Johnny raised an eyebrow at his soon to be brother in law.

“Yeah…most of the time.”  Justin quipped.  “Besides, where Hannah’s concerned…it’s Dad you need to worry about.”

Johnny laughed half heartedly.  They could tease all they wanted, but the truth was, he was kind of looking forward to having “parents” again, even if they did live all the way across the country.  “And you too, I suppose…”

Justin took a swig of beer.  “Well, it is my little sister we’re talking about.”

Chet stepped into the center of the room now, nearly knocking over several trays of appetizers in the process.  “Okay…okay…this party’s getting to be a snooze.  Luckily, you have ol’ Chet Kelly as your host…”

Marco spoke an aside.  “Yeah…that’ll liven things up.”

Chet stopped mid-boast.  “I heard that, Marco.”  Then, he continued without skipping a beat.  “Gentlemen, as you may or may not know, this party serves two purposes.  To honor John Gage’s good standing membership in club bachelor and his subsequent transition into bondage and slavery.  And also, to celebrate his return to Station 51 after his latest brush with death.”

“Isn’t that three reasons?”  Roy asked Mike, who was sitting beside him.

Chet glared at Roy and went on.  “So, Gage…in order to properly celebrate…I’ve managed to procure a little…entertainment.”  He walked over to the bedroom and pressed the play button on a small tape recorder by the door before opening it.  Strains of some sleazy tune wafted distortedly through the tiny speaker.  A few moments later, a tall, big-boned red head most of Chet’s firehouse buddies recognized from a rescue at a strip club last year came dancing out into the living room…wearing a fireman’s helmet…and very little else.  She sauntered over to take a seat on Johnny’s lap, where she began her seductive banter.

“Hey, Johnny.  How’s about I…light your fire?”

Johnny smiled nervously, his face full of the stripper’s perfume.  “Uh…hi.  Big Red, isn’t it?”

“Well, now…”  The woman purred as she slipped a hand inside Johnny’s shirt.  “That depends how far you wanna take this, fireman.”

Roy leaned in, grinning widely.  “Be careful.  He’s healing.”

Big Red backed off and walked away, swaying her hips to the music, and glancing lustily over her shoulder as she peeled off layers of her already skimpy outfit.  She continued to entertain the men in the room, stopping just short of completely revealing herself, to Chet’s dubious credit.  When she was finished, she accepted tips and applause from the partygoers and was invited to mingle.

Cap stood and approached the woman, who was nearly as tall as he was.  “Pardon me, ma’am.  But, can I get you something to drink?”

Mike shoved his way in front of his captain and informed the voluptuous beauty, “He’s married.  I’m single.”

Cap watched as Mike escorted his prize over to the food table.  Big Red noticed the Hispanic man standing there helping himself to some more nachos.  She winked at him.  “Hi, Marco.  Still have your moustache, I see…”

Marco beamed and smoothed his upper lip.  “I trimmed it…just for you.”

Johnny sat back and watched the proceedings with appreciation, grateful to have friends who were willing to go to so much trouble for him.

Roy handed Johnny a piece of cake.  “So, tomorrow’s the big day.”  He looked at his watch.  “Only…fourteen more hours of freedom.”  He took his seat at his partner’s side.  “Any regrets?”

Johnny paused, fork halfway to his mouth, and sat it down as he watched his friends interact with the woman standing by the table.  He smiled confidently.  “Not a one, partner.  Not a one.”

zzz

Johnny leaned on his crutches as he stared out the window of his guest room.  He looked up at the sound of the door opening and smiled at his best man.

Roy moved across the room, holding a boutonniere of white freesia and eucalyptus, held together with a periwinkle ribbon.  “Why don’t you take a load off for a while?  You’re going to tire yourself out before the ceremony even starts.”

“I’m trying not to wrinkle.”  Johnny offered as he made his way over to where his partner was standing.  He looked at the boutonniere nervously.  “You know how I feel about needles, partner.”

Roy prepared to attach the flower to Johnny’s lapel.  “This isn’t a needle.  It’s a pin.  Now, hold still.”  Roy completed his task and took a step back to make sure the arrangement was straight.  The sight of his best friend in his department dress blues filled him with a certain sense of pride.  “Well, what do you know?  John Gage is finally getting married.  How does it feel?”

“You know what?”  Johnny flashed his grin.  “It feels pretty good, actually.”  He looked at the newly added decoration in the mirror and started toward the chair in the corner.  But, he thought better of sitting down.  He was too restless.  “Have you seen Hannah?”

“Nope.  She’s hiding.  The girls have deemed the master bed and bathroom ‘off limits.’”

“Chaplain McElhaney…is he...?”

Roy practically pushed Johnny down into the chair, amazed at the man’s ability to pace on crutches.  “Johnny…relax!  Everything is fine.  The chaplain is here.  The caterer is here.  The cake looks great…the flowers look great…”

“Okay…okay.  Thanks, man.”

Roy shook his head.  “I’m gonna go out and make sure all the guests are being seated.  Is there anything you need right now?”

“No…no, I’m good.”

Roy watched his friend carefully for a moment to be sure.  He didn’t want to have to explain to Hannah and a yard full of guests that the groom passed out and smacked his head on the edge of the dresser…even though scores of paramedics and half the staff of Rampart would be right on hand to assist him.  “Okay…I’ll send Justin in.  Maybe he can…calm you down a bit.”

“Yeah…whatever…I mean…okay, Roy.”

Roy smiled and shook his head as he made his way back toward the door.  He was stopped by a voice.

“Roy?”

“Yeah, Johnny?”

“This is really happening, isn’t it?  I’m really getting married today.”

“Yep.  It’s really happening.  Congratulations…Junior.”

“Thanks…Pally.”

zzz

Justin was busy walking around the area where the ceremony was to be held…seating guests…and doing last minute checking to make sure all would run smoothly, when he noticed Kaya and Rose sitting by themselves at the edge of the yard.  They seemed enthralled with what was going on around them.  Justin plucked two daisies out of a basket and made his way over to the girls and knelt down, handing each of them a flower.

“Well…I don’t think I’ve ever seen two prettier girls.  You two look stunning.”

Kaya, the older of the two, spoke first.  “Thank you, Mr. Quinn…I mean, Justin.”

“You’re very welcome.”  He leaned in and winked.  “But, you better be careful.  It’s not usually a good idea at these things to look prettier than the bride.”

Now it was Rose’s turn to speak.  “Oh, Justin…You’re just saying that.”

Justin feigned innocence.  “No…it’s true.  Those dresses are just…beautiful.  And the two of you…even more so.”

Kaya blushed at the handsome man’s flattery.  “We wanna thank you…for helping mama buy the dresses for us.  We’ve never…well, we’ve never owned anything as fancy as this.”

“Well, you’re very welcome.  Besides, this is a very special occasion.  You two are about to gain an aunt and uncle.”

“That’s right!”  Kaya agreed.  But, then she looked up at Justin questioningly.  “Justin?  When you and mama get married…do you think Rose and I could be the flower girls?”

Justin smiled as he pulled Rose onto his knee.  “You can count on it.”

Rose tilted her head to look at Justin, her expression full of innocence.  “Justin…when you marry our mama…will that make you our papa?”

“Rose!”  Kaya admonished.

Justin just smiled and smoothed the younger girl’s long, dark hair.  “It’s okay.  It’s a good question, actually.  And the answer is yes.  I would be proud to be your papa.”  He turned his attention to Kaya.  “That is, if it’s okay with you.”

“Oh, yes!”  Kaya exclaimed, and suddenly, Justin was practically being knocked backward by two very excited young girls.  Regaining his balance, he gave each of them a kiss on the cheek and stood up.  “Well, that’s good news!  But, right now, I better go see if your Uncle Johnny is okay.  Mr. Desoto said he was wearing a hole in the floor.”

“A hole?”  Rose was confused as to just how Johnny could do that.

“He means he was pacing, silly.”  Kaya informed.

“Pacing?”  Rose questioned.  “On crutches?”

Justin laughed.  “One thing you’ll learn pretty quick about your Uncle Johnny.  With him…anything is possible.”

The three shared a laugh and Justin asked, “Do you know where your seats are?”

“Yeah…”  Kaya assured.  “Mama showed us earlier.  Should we go there now?”

Justin looked at his watch.  “Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I’ll let your mama know you’re waiting for her.”  He made his departure.

Rose looked after the tall, blond man wearing the tailored dark blue suit.  “When I grow up, I’m gonna marry someone just like Justin!”

Kaya disagreed.  “I’d rather find someone like Uncle Johnny…he’s so good looking.  Miss Hannah sure is lucky.”

The sisters engaged in playful girl talk all the way to their seats amidst the lilting sounds of the harp and the heady aroma of lavender.

zzz

Dixie put the finishing touches on Hannah’s hair and secured it with a tortoise shell comb.  “I wore this comb in my hair the first time your brother came to the nightclub to hear me sing.  I thought it could be your ‘something borrowed.’”

“Thanks, Dixie.”  Hannah accepted the small hand mirror from her friend and admired her updo and the comb that was holding it in place.  “It’s beautiful.”

“And…here’s your something new.”  Joanne handed Hannah a small box which she excitedly opened.  It was a pair of earrings, each one consisting of a pale green stone and a light purple stone inside a small, gold heart.  “It’s peridot and amethyst.  Johnny’s birthstone and yours.”

Hannah quickly put them on.  “Thank you, Jo.  I love them!”

But, Joanne wasn’t finished.  “And…remember the box that came for you a few weeks ago…all the way from PA…that said ‘do not open ‘til your wedding day?’”  She handed Hannah a small box, wrapped in brown paper.

Hannah tore off the paper and opened the package.  Inside there was another box, square and white, and an envelope.  She opened the envelope first.  Inside there was a letter, which she read to herself.

Dear Hannah,

I’m so sorry your father and I could not be with you on your wedding day, but we look forward to your visit next week.  John sounds like a wonderful man, and we’re certain you’ll have many long, wonderful years with him, filled with love and laughter.

Please know that we are with you in spirit and will be thinking of you both, and praying for you on your special day.  I bet you look beautiful.

In the box is a handkerchief that belonged to your great grandmother.  She carried it on her wedding day and later gave it to your Grandma Quinn to carry on hers.  She brought it with her from Ireland.  Before your Grandma passed away last year, she told me this, and gave the handkerchief to me, figuring maybe you would want it one day.  So, now I’m passing it on to you.  Please carry it with you today, and think of Daddy and me.

We love you, Hannah.  Congratulations!

Mom

Tears formed in Hannah’s eyes as she carefully lifted the pale blue cloth out of its box, cradling it like the precious item that it was.  “My something blue.”

Dixie leaned forward to see, while Joanne read the offered note.  “It’s beautiful.”

Joanne carefully folded the note and placed it back inside the envelope, putting it aside for safe keeping.  “You okay?”  She offered Hannah a tissue.

Hannah wiped her eyes.  “Yeah.  I’m okay.  I mean…it’d be better if they were here, but…John makes me so happy.  I can’t wait to be married to him.”  Her hands moved to her stomach and the slightly tight fit of her gown.

“And that little one couldn’t ask for a better set of parents.”  Dixie stood and reached for the headpiece and veil which was hanging on the bed post.

Hannah stood, still holding onto the handkerchief.  “Well, I guess this handkerchief is my something old and my something blue.  Is that allowed?”

“Sure it is.”  Joanne assured, but then she noticed Camarin walking through the door carrying something in her hands.  She smiled.  “But, let’s not jump the gun.”

Camarin approached Hannah with the mysterious object in hand.  “Hannah…one day John’s mama and I were sitting outside weaving flowers into bracelets.  It was something that we often did together…and she gave me this.  She wanted me to hold onto it so John would have it one day.”

Hannah unfolded the tiny piece of fabric to reveal what was hidden inside.  She gasped at what she saw.  “It’s…oh, my God, Camarin.  Is this...?”

“It’s Elizabeth’s wedding ring.”  Camarin took the ring and placed it on Hannah’s finger.  “She told me she was afraid Red Elk would sell it…to get more money to buy liquor.  So, she gave it to me for safekeeping, and told him…she lost it.”  Camarin cringed at the memory of the beating Elizabeth had had to endure for being so ‘irresponsible.’  “I’ve had it all this time.  I would have given it to him sooner, but…well, he disappeared.  For a long time, I thought I would never see him again.  And when he came back, and told me he was getting married…well, I thought maybe you would like to carry it today.”

Hannah wrapped her arms around her new “sister” and held on tight as tears flowed.  “Thank you.  John will…he’ll really appreciate this, Camarin.”

“It’s my pleasure.”  Camarin offered as they parted.  “And here.”  She began wrapping a delicate bracelet woven from various wildflowers and herbs around Hannah’s wrist.  “I made this for you.  The periwinkle represents friendship.  The myrtle, love and the daisies, beauty.”

Hannah admired the intricately designed treasure on her wrist.  “It’s really special.  Thank you.”

Joanne helped Hannah with her headpiece and straightened the veil before handing her a large bouquet of white freesia, blue periwinkle, and lavender.  Then, she took a step back to view the bride, who was dressed in a simple, ivory gown with lots of lace and a brush train.  She sighed in admiration.  “You look amazing.”

Hannah blushed.  “As long as John thinks so…”

“Oh, no doubt about that.”  Camarin assured.

“And, John is looking pretty handsome himself.”  Dixie offered, as she added a few tiny flowers to Hannah’s hair.  “Wait until you see him.”

“I can’t wait.”  Hannah smiled.

Joanne lifted the train and angled her head toward the door.  “Well, then we better get out there.  He’s waiting for you.”

Hannah took one last long look in the mirror and breathed, “Here we go, Mrs. John Gage.”  She allowed herself to be led out into the hallway where Hank Stanley was waiting for her, dressed in his finest department blues, complete with white hat and gloves.  He smiled and offered his arm.

“Shall we?”

“It’d be my pleasure.”  Hannah smiled as she locked arms with the tall, handsome captain.

zzz

Cap and Hannah hadn’t taken more than three steps down the hall when the door to the guest room opened and an unusually flummoxed Justin moved quickly toward the pair.  “Uh…hi there.”  Justin was attempting to act nonchalant and failing miserably.  He moved a hand to the back of his neck as he keened his head toward the guestroom.  “Uh…Hank?  Could I uh…talk to you in private for a minute?”

Hannah was growing impatient with her brother.  “Justin, what’s going on?  The ceremony is starting…”

Justin continued to fidget.  “Uh…no…no it’s not.  There’s been a…uh…slight delay.”

Hannah’s eyes narrowed.  “A delay?  Justin…”

Sensing an impending sibling altercation Cap wasn’t sure Justin would come out of unscathed, he took a stab at taking charge of the situation.  “Uh, Hannah?  Why don’t we just…”

The trio was soon met by a slightly frazzled Joanne, who was moving quickly down the hall.  “The guests are getting restless.  What’s going on?”

Cap had never been so happy to see Joanne in all his life.  “Joanne!  Why don’t you take Hannah here and see if you can fasten this button that’s coming loose on the back of her gown?”

Hannah immediately groped behind her and tried to turn her head around to see.  “I have a button loose?”

Joanne moved around behind her.  “Where?  Let me see…”

Following Cap’s lead, Justin pointed to a perfectly intact, fabric covered button.  “Right there.”

Joanne looked puzzled.  “Where?  I don’t see…”

Cap took over, giving Joanne a surreptitious look that meant ‘play along.’  “It’s right there.  Now, why don’t you take Hannah back into the bedroom and keep her in there until you get that thing sewn back on?  I’ll let Chaplain MacElhaney and the guests know what’s going on.”

Joanne ushered a confused Hannah into the bedroom and directed a well aimed threatening glare in Justin and Cap’s direction before closing the door behind her.

As soon as the girls were out of earshot, Cap turned to the suddenly high strung physical therapist.  “Now, Justin what’s going on?  And this better be good.”

Justin opened the door to the guest bedroom and gestured with his hand toward the dark haired figure sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a bag of ice on his head.

Cap took one look at the apparently injured groom and shook his head in disbelief.  “He didn’t.”

Justin stood nodding.

“He did?”

Justin continued to nod.

Only you, pal.  It could only happen to you. Cap moved over to Johnny’s side and knelt down.  “What happened?”

Taking Johnny’s disgusted look to mean he really didn’t feel like explaining, Justin decided he would help him out.  “His crutch got hung up on the rug and he went down.  Smacked his head on the corner of the dresser.”

Cap tried to get a better look.  “Is it bleeding?”

“No, but he has one hell of a bump.  Where’s Roy?”

Cap stood.  “I imagine he’s outside wondering where the hell we are.  I’ll go see if I can find him.”

“Probably wouldn’t hurt to have a doctor take a look at him.  He hit pretty hard.”

Now Johnny found his voice.  “A doctor?  Now, Justin…don’t you think that’s going a little far?  It’s just a little bump…”

Cap planted a firm hand on Johnny’s shoulder.  “Now, John.  If Justin thinks you should see a doctor, then I think that’s a good idea.”  The captain headed outside muttering, “Lord knows there are enough out there to choose from…”

As soon as Cap left the room, Johnny removed the ice pack and began to protest.  “Justin, I’m fine.  Really.  Hannah’s probably going nuts.  Let’s just…”

Justin replaced the pack.  “Just keep that on there and relax.  You’re not going anywhere until someone checks you out.”

“Justin...in case you’ve forgotten, I’m a paramedic.  I think I can…”

“A paramedic with a head injury.”  Justin corrected.  “Sorry, John.  But I can’t trust your judgment on this right now.”

Johnny sighed, exasperated, and flung himself back onto the bed.  He held the ice pack with his right hand, and draped his left arm across his eyes.  “I don’t believe this…”

Justin had to stifle a laugh.  Although there really was cause for concern, he couldn’t deny that this was a little fun.  Besides, maybe it would create enough of a diversion to calm his friend down a bit.  Earlier, he had been about ready to climb the walls.

Cap stepped in front of the crowd of seated guests, clasping his hands together in front of him.  “May I have your attention, please?”  Once everyone had quieted, he continued.  “Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the slight delay.  We have a minor injury…”  When the crowd began to buzz with questions and concern, Cap raised his voice over the din.  “It’s nothing to worry about.  Everything is fine.  But, I’ve been asked to get a doctor…”

That statement caused the eight or ten doctors in the crowd to rise to their feet.  And, a very concerned Roy Desoto to move to his captain’s side.  “Cap, what the hell is going on?”  The expression on Cap’s face said it all.  Roy bowed his head, placing a hand over his eyes.  “Oh, man.  It’s Johnny, isn’t it?”  Cap nodded.  Roy took off for the house.

Kelly Brackett, realizing there were quite a few physicians present, addressed the lanky captain.  “Hank?  Which one of us do you want?”  He looked around.  “Name your specialty.”

Cap moved closer to the dark haired doctor, so as not to broadcast to the entire guest list.  “Well, it’s a head injury…”

Brackett looked to his right.  “Joe?  That’s your territory.” 

Joe made his way to where Cap was standing.  “What’s happened, Hank?”

Cap took a deep breath.  “Well, it seems the groom has had a little accident.”

Brackett crossed his arms.  “Oh, no.  What’s he done now?”

Cap filled in the familiar doctors.  “I don’t think it’s anything too serious.  Justin said his crutch got caught up on the rug, causing him to fall and hit his head on the corner of the dresser.”

Now Brackett was concerned.  “Did he go all the way down?”

Cap shook his head.  “I don’t know.  He didn’t say.”

Brackett turned to the handsome doctor behind him with salt and pepper hair.  “Todd, maybe we should go too…”

Cap held up a hand.  “No…no, I think Dr. Early will be enough for now.  I’ll let you know if we need anyone else. Like a surgical team…”  He muttered under his breath as he led the kindly doctor into the house.

Joe entered the room and moved quickly to the bed.  He looked up at Justin, all business.  “Did he lose consciousness at all?”

Johnny sighed and threw the ice pack down on the bed.  “No, I did not lose consciousness.  My name is John Gage.  It’s 1977.  It’s Saturday.  Jimmy Carter is growing peanuts in the White House, and I’m getting married today.  That is, if someone…”  He glowered at Justin.  “Will give me back my crutches and let me get on with it.”

Joe pushed Johnny’s head back onto the bed.  “Not so fast, Johnny.  Now, where’s this bump?”  Even as he spoke the words, his skilled hands found the tender swelling on the right side of his patient’s head, just above his hair line, eliciting a gasp and an expletive.  “Never mind, I think I found it.”

Johnny sighed.  “No shit.”

Joe reached behind the lapel of his jacket and fished his penlight out of his shirt pocket.  He used it to check Johnny’s pupil response.

“Geez, Doc.  Do you sleep with that thing under your pillow?”  Johnny wondered.

Joe played along.  “No, it fits very nicely in the pocket of my pajamas.”  The doctor took Johnny through the paces of a thorough neurological exam, before finally deeming his head injury minor enough to proceed with the festivities.  “I don’t think you have a concussion, Johnny.  But just to be on the safe side, I’ll advise Hannah to wake you up several times during the night tonight.”

Johnny waggled his eyebrows devilishly.  “I don’t think we’ll be doing much sleeping, Doc.”

Roy rolled his eyes.  “I’d say he’s feeling okay.”

But Justin wasn’t so sure.  “I don’t know, Doc.  He went down pretty hard…had his legs under him.  I don’t know…maybe Todd should take a look…”

Joe turned back to his patient.  “Do you have any pain, Johnny?”

“Other than the headache you all are giving me?”

Cap took a step closer.  “Now, John.  We’re all just trying to be sure everything’s okay.  How about a little cooperation?”

Johnny sighed heavily, clearly bothered by all the fuss.  “Okay, so my legs hurt a little.  But no more than they usually do…”

“Hank?  Why don’t you go see if Todd can come in here?”  Joe began running his hands carefully down each of Johnny’s limbs.

“Right.”  Hank strode out to where Todd Andrews was sitting, ignoring the numerous questions from the crowd for now.  “Dr. Andrews?  Dr. Early sent me to get you.  John’s having some pain in his legs…”

Brackett overheard the conversation and stood along with his colleague.  “Hank, this is starting to sound serious.  Should we call for a squad?”

As if summoned by the commanding voice of their medical director, roughly twenty paramedics rose from the crowd, standing at the ready.

 Cap did his best to settle everyone down.  “Just be seated, people.  Dr. Andrews is all we need right now.”

Once inside the room, Todd traded places with Joe and sat down gingerly on the bed.  “John?  Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Johnny looked plaintively at the orthopedic surgeon, hoping maybe he would rescue him from the hands of his capturers.  “What’s going on is that I got a tiny bump on my head and everyone is trying to have me admitted to Rampart on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life!”

Todd exchanged an amused glance with the others.  “Well, now the way I heard it, is that you went down pretty hard and you were having some pain in your legs.”  He rested a hand over Johnny’s right knee.  “Is that about right?”

Johnny was growing really impatient now.  “I guess so, Doc.  But, really…”

Todd scratched his head as he took a brief second to assess the situation.  “Well, I’m gonna need to take a look, and I don’t want to cut your pants, so I guess we’ll need to take them off.”

“Okay, now that’s where I draw the line…”

Roy took a seat on the opposite side of the bed.  “Come on, Johnny.  I’ll help you.  The sooner you let Todd check you out, the sooner you can see Hannah in her wedding dress…”

“Now that’s just mean.”  Johnny sighed again and began unbuckling his belt.  “All right…let’s get this over with.”

A few minutes later, the door opened a crack and Joanne peeked in, catching a good view of Johnny lying across the bed in his dress shirt and boxer shorts, surrounded by two doctors, a paramedic, and a physical therapist.  Embarrassed, she managed to shout out for Roy, before slamming the door.

Johnny closed his eyes.  “Nice…oh that’s just great…”

“Relax, Johnny.”  Roy soothed.  “It was only Jo.  Let me go see what she wants.”

A few minutes after Roy left the room, the door opened again.  This time a deep voice could be heard through the crack.  “Joe, Todd?  Everything okay in here?”

Joe opened the door enough to allow his friend to enter.  “Come on in, Kel.”

Johnny looked up, annoyed.  “Oh come on, what is this?”

Brackett smiled.  Everyone seemed to be enjoying this except Johnny.  “I thought maybe Joe and Todd could use a consult.”

Joe rubbed his chin.  “That’s not a bad idea.  Let’s see…the patient presents with evidence of blunt trauma to his head.  There’s an area of swelling on the right, frontal area, just above the hairline.  No loss of consciousness.  Patient is awake and oriented times four.  Pupils are equal and reactive and the neurological responses are normal.”

Brackett played along.  “I see…”

And then it was Todd’s turn to join in the fun.  “Patient has a history of right patellar fracture from which he’s currently recovering. Also, patient has a history of an impalement injury to the left thigh with resulting orthopedic and vascular surgery and history of open reduction surgery of the left proximal femur from which he’s also recovering.  According to a bystander, patient was reported to have fallen from a standing position to the floor, landing with his legs underneath him.  Patient is complaining of pain in his legs which he rates at 2/10 for the left leg and 3/10 for the right knee.  Physical examination reveals no apparent exacerbation of his injuries.”

Johnny raised himself up onto his elbows.  “Can I get dressed now?”

At that moment, the door opened again, and Mike Morton poked his head inside.  “I thought maybe you might need a little help…”

“Okay, that’s it!”  Johnny sat up and moved toward the edge of the bed.  But he was stopped by Todd.

“Whoa, not so fast, John.”

Joe moved closer.  “He’s right, Johnny.  How do you feel sitting up?  Any dizziness or nausea?”

“No.  Nothing.  Now, if all of you are done poking and prodding…I have a wedding to get to.”

Johnny accepted some help from the others to get up and finish getting dressed.  He took his crutches from Justin and began walking toward the door.

Justin followed behind him.  “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

Todd smiled, figuring they had all given Johnny enough of a rough time for one day.  “He’s fine, Justin.  I’m sure if he starts having any trouble, he’ll let us know.  Right, John?”

“Yeah…right.”  The door opened in front of Johnny and Roy stepped inside.  “What did Jo want?  Is Hannah okay?”

Roy smiled.  “Hannah’s fine.  Apparently she was worried that you had decided not to go through with the wedding.”

“Awww, now see?”  Johnny was not pleased that his bride to be thought he had left her at the altar due to the fact that he was being detained against his will.

“Relax, Johnny.”  Roy assured.  “She’s fine.  I told Jo to tell her you were just having a little…wardrobe malfunction.  Everything’s good.”

“Okay…okay, thanks, Roy.”  Confusion clouded Johnny’s features.  “I think.”

Brackett moved to the door and opened it.  “Shall we get to our places, gentlemen?”

“Yes, let’s go.”  Justin agreed as he followed his hobbling friend out into the hall.

Cap watched the men depart, and took a moment to gather himself.  Replacing his hat and gloves, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door across the hall.  It was opened by Dixie who exchanged a few words with the captain before delivering the bride.  Upon seeing Hannah, Cap cleared his throat.  “Now, then.  Let’s try this again.”  He again offered his arm.  “Shall we?”

Hannah smiled.  “Yes!  Let’s go!”

And they walked down the hall, a few steps behind Dixie and Joanne in their periwinkle gowns, and Jennifer Desoto, dressed in white lace adorned with periwinkle ribbons, carrying a basket of flower petals.

zzz

The harpist began to play a Bach tune and Dixie led the procession through the tulle and flower draped arch and down the aisle, followed by matron of honor, Joanne, and finally…Jennifer, who scattered a fragrant carpet of herbs and rose petals for the bride to walk on.

There was a moment of silence and then a bagpiper played a majestic tune to signify the hour had come.  Hannah stood with Cap at the back, taking in the scene before her, allowing her every sense to capture some reminder of this day…from the way the sun felt warm on her back, to the earthy scent of the herbs Camarin had picked out especially for them…the brassy sound of the pipes making way for the ethereal strums of the harp…and finally…the sight of her husband to be, standing at the front, looking oh-so-handsome in his dress uniform, supported by his two best friends, and smiling a smile that took her breath away.  But then, Hannah realized something.  John was standing!  He wasn’t leaning on crutches, he was standing…standing there so proud and strong…waiting for his bride. 

Hannah looked up at her escort and found him smiling down at her.  Tightening his hold, his eyes asked if she was ready.  She nodded and they proceeded down the aisle.  Hannah was sure a hundred eyes were upon her, but she couldn’t take her own eyes off of Johnny as they made their way to the altar.

Chaplain MacElhaney offered an opening prayer:

Our Father, love has been Your richest and greatest gift to the world. Love between a man and woman which matures into marriage is one of Your most beautiful types of loves. Today we celebrate that love. May your blessing be on this wedding service. Protect, guide, and bless Hannah and John in their marriage. Surround them and us with Your love now and always. Amen.

Then, he smiled in Camarin’s direction.  “At this time, Miss Camarin Raven Skye, sister of the groom would like to offer a prayer of her own.”  Justin winked at his fiancée as she seemed to float to the front where she stood beside the chaplain and smiled at Johnny and Hannah.  She recited first in Lakota, and then supplied the English translation.

Grandfather, Tunkasina, you are giving us life again. For many days we were lonesome for you. Earth was cold and the winds were strong. But now we hear songs. Your children are singing, and we are happy. They are singing, and we are lighthearted.

It is the time for your children to find happiness with each other. It is the time to build nests. It is the time for pairing. It is the time for flying and the time for the Eagle.

In the early morning we see this, and we hear it under the warm moon. Tunkasina, there is no bird without a song. No creature without a call. No man without a skill. And into the bird you put the song, and into the creature you put the call, and into the man you put the skill.

You are good. Tunkasina, all your creatures need a partner. You made us that way. Each wing needs a mate. You made it that way. Each feather needs its likeness. It's that way.

In secret we carry a feather. It is close to our heart. In secret there is its likeness. It is close to a heart.

On a spring day your promise will be kept. The two will meet, and your life will start in them. Your song will be in them. Your happiness will come to them. They will praise you.

He hechetu.  Amen.

Camarin finished and returned to her seat as the chaplain gave the direction for all the guests to be seated.  He waited while Cap turned Hannah’s hand over to Johnny and the two stood together before him.  Dixie and Joe moved to the front and Dixie sang her own rendition of The Carpenters’ “We’ve Only Just Begun,” accompanied by Joe on a rented piano.

Once the music ended, Johnny and Hannah were invited to move forward to stand under an arch strewn with periwinkle tulle and adorned with wisteria and daisies.  Then, Chaplain MacElhaney offered his charge to the bride and groom.

“Hannah and John, let me charge you both to remember, that your future happiness is to be found in mutual consideration, patience, kindness, confidence, and affection.  John, it is your duty to love Hannah as yourself, provide tender leadership, and protect her from danger.  Hannah, it is your duty to treat John with respect, support him, and create a healthy, happy, home.  It is the duty of each of you to find the greatest joy in the company of the other.  And, to remember that in both interest and affection, you are to be one and undivided.”

After asking the couple to join hands, the chaplain continued.  “Hannah, do you take John to be your husband?  And, in the presence of these witnesses do you promise you will do everything in your power to make your love for him a growing part of your life?  Will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week?  Will you stand by him in sickness and in health…”

Roy leaned in with a smile and whispered.  “Uh…better add injury to that list.”

MacElhaney chuckled and amended the pledge.  “Will you stand by him in sickness, injury, and health?”  This brought a few snickers from the crowd, as well as from the couple before him.  “…In poverty or in wealth, and will you shun all others and keep yourself to him alone as long as you both are living?”

Hannah smiled up at her groom.  “Yes, I will.”

MacElhaney repeated the pledge for Johnny, and he responded.

“You bet I will.”

At this time, Hannah and Johnny turned to face one another so that they could recite their vows. 

Hannah took a deep breath, thankful that Johnny was standing healthy and whole beside her.  “John, I take you to be my husband, and I promise to love you forever.  I will love you when we’re together and when we’re apart, when our lives are at peace and when they’re in turmoil, when I’m proud of you and when I’m disappointed in you, in times of rest and in times of work.  I will honor your goals and dreams and help you fulfill them.  And I will always seek to be open and honest with you.  I love you.”

As Johnny looked into Hannah’s smiling eyes, it was as if everything else faded away and disappeared.  He focused in on the ribbon bordering her veil, the tiny flowers in her hair, her strong, yet feminine features…the pattern of lace on her gown.  He did his best to create a mental picture of this moment, storing it away in his memory forever.  He looked down for a moment as if to gather his thoughts, and then spoke from his heart.  “Hannah, I can’t imagine anyone else I would rather spend the rest of my life with.  For a long time, I thought maybe there was no one out there for me, but then you came along and…”  Johnny paused, as if unable to finish the thought.  Collecting himself, he continued.  “You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known.  You inspire me to be the best person I can be.  I promise I will strive to give you the best of myself, while accepting you the way you are.  I promise to respect your interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own.  I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in on my fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.  I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting.  And finally, I promise to love you in good times and bad, with all I have to give, and all that I am, in the only way I know how…completely and forever.”

A tear ran down Hannah’s cheek as she absorbed Johnny’s words, their sincerity filling her heart and soul.  She whispered, “I love you,” and the ceremony went on.

Chaplain MacElhaney couldn’t help but smile at the obvious devotion the couple before him had for one another.  He paused for the slightest moment before looking in the direction of the groomsmen.  “Who has the rings?”

Roy snapped out of his momentary trance and fished for the rings in his pocket.  “I do.”  He handed them to the chaplain, who held them up for all to see.

“The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity.  It is an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love.”  He handed the rings to the couple.  “And now as a token of your love and of your deep desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you, John, may place a ring on the finger of your bride.”

Johnny slid the simple gold band onto Hannah’s finger and held onto her hand.  “Hannah, I give you this ring as a token of my love and faithfulness to you.”

Hannah did the same with her ring, having a little trouble at first, until finally the band slid past Johnny’s knuckle where it rested securely on his finger.  Johnny looked down at it for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe it was there.  Hannah looked up at him and smiled.  “John, I give you this ring as a token of my love and faithfulness to you.”

The chaplain rested his hands on Johnny and Hannah’s shoulders and proclaimed with a smile, “Now that Hannah and John have given themselves to each other by the promises they have exchanged, I pronounce them to be husband and wife in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.”

Johnny waited while he looked anxiously at MacElhaney.  “Can I kiss her now?”

The chaplain laughed.  “You bet!”

Johnny leaned in and effectively sealed the deal with a kiss that rendered both parties, and some members of the crowd, breathless.

MacElhaney motioned for the couple to face the crowd.  “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. John Gage.”

Applause mingled with a celebratory bagpipe melody.

zzz

The reception area was set up not far from where the wedding ceremony took place, so the guests began making their way to their tables, stopping along the way to greet the newlyweds. 

It was Chet Kelly’s turn in line, and he extended his hand to his buddy.  “Well, you actually went through with it.”

Johnny, leaning on his crutches, accepted the shorter man’s gesture, shaking his hand firmly.  “Yep, I did.”

Then, playful banter gave way for a rare flash of seriousness.  Chet would never admit it, but he was secretly envious.  While part of Chet Kelly was nowhere near ready to give up his free spirited bachelor ways, another, possibly bigger part could only hope he would find a woman like Hannah one day.  “Congratulations, man.”

Johnny smiled.  “Thanks.”

Then, Chet turned to Hannah as the flash faded.  “And to you, I offer my deepest condolences.”  He patted the smiling bride on the back.  “Just make sure there’s always milk in the fridge and a constant supply of food, and you might be all right.”

Hannah played along.  “Thanks, Chet.  I’ll keep that in mind.”

Cap purposely waited until all the other guests had passed through to step up and speak to the couple.  He stood for a moment in front of the junior member of his crew as if he were trying to fully absorb the significance of this day, feeling something which reminded him of fatherly pride.  He grasped Johnny’s hand in a solid shake, his warm eyes smiling.  “John…”  And in that moment, somehow a handshake just wasn’t enough, and Cap extended his arms, carefully wrapping them around his friend for a hearty hug.  Clapping Johnny on the back, Cap continued.  “Congratulations, pal.”

“Thanks, Cap.”  Johnny returned the hug, temporarily forgetting his crutches, and they fell to the ground.  But it didn’t matter.  The pride he felt emanating from his captain was enough to buoy both body and spirit.

Cap picked up the crutches and helped reposition them.  He addressed both Johnny and Hannah now.  “You know…for a long time I never thought I would see the day.  You found yourself a good woman, John.  Make sure you hold onto her.”

Johnny grinned at his bride.  “Oh, I will, Cap.  I’m never letting go.”

Turning to Hannah, Cap winked.  “And, Hannah…keep him out of trouble, okay?”

Hannah laughed her musical laugh.  “Don’t worry, Hank.  I’ll take good care of him.”

Then Hank leaned in close to Hannah’s ear and whispered words only intended for her to hear.  “I know you know this already, but…you got yourself a good man.  He’ll be a good husband and father, I’m sure of it…even if he doesn’t always think so.”

“Then, we’ll just have to remind him, won’t we?”

Johnny raised a curious eyebrow.  “Remind me of what?”

Cap threw Hannah another wink.  “Better get going over to the reception.  Looks like they’re waiting for you.”

A second later, the deejay announced the newlyweds and they made their way to the head table for the toast.

As the room fell silent, Roy rose his glass in honor of his best friend and his new wife.  “Johnny and Hannah…marriage is all about commitment.  Of course…so is insanity.”  After waiting a few moments for the laughter to subside, Roy turned serious.  “Johnny and I have known each other for a number of years now.  And over the years, he’s taught me the importance of friendship.  And, we’ve supported each other through a lot of good times…and some bad.  I have many memories of times spent with this guy, but the fondest memory I’ll now have is watching him marry the love of his life.  Johnny and Hannah, in the past year, I’ve watched your love grow and flourish.  I think I speak for many of us here when I say I’m glad you two finally figured out you belong together, because I think most of us knew this day was coming long before you did.”  A round of chuckles ensued and dissipated.  And then Roy continued.  “Separately, you both are very special, remarkable people.  But together…together, you’re complete.  Today we celebrate everything you’ve found in each other…a best friend, a protector, a teacher, a lover, and a true companion for life.”  Roy raised his glass high in the air.  “To Johnny and Hannah!”

Musical clinking sounds gave way to silence as everyone toasted the couple.  Then applause rang out as Johnny pulled Hannah into a champagne flavored kiss.

zzz

The festivities continued as the day wore on.  Johnny and Hannah shared their first…and only…dance together, as Johnny’s legs were tiring and he wanted to conserve some energy for his first night as a married man.  At the moment, he and Hannah were content to sit and watch their friends and family enjoying the magical romance that only a wedding can provide. 

Justin plucked a white rose out of one of the table decorations and approached a dancing couple.  He lightly tapped the gentleman on the shoulder, and offered the rose to the Dixie.  “May I have this dance?”

Joe Early kindly obliged the younger man and stepped aside gracefully.

Justin leaned close to Dixie’s ear.  “You look beautiful.”

Dixie smiled, basking in the attention of her new dance partner.  “You’re looking pretty handsome yourself.”

“Do you remember this song?”

Dixie nodded as she allowed Justin to lead her across the dance ‘floor.’  “Of course I do.  I sang this to you that night at the Golden Diamond.  And afterwards, we went back to your place and we…”  The memory trailed off as the music swelled.

Justin was silent for a while, enjoying the moment.  It was Dixie who finally spoke.

“So, the next wedding I’ll be dancing at will be yours and Camarin’s.”

Justin pulled back and smiled craftily.  “You never know.”

Dixie feigned naiveté.  “And what do you mean by that?”

“I mean…you never know.”  Justin repeated.  He spun Dixie around a time or two and asked, “So, how are things going with you and Joe?”

“With me and Joe?”

Justin just gave Dixie a knowing look.  “Oh, come on.  All those dates…the way the two of you look at each other…”

The normally unflappable nurse found herself blushing.  “Are we really that obvious?”

Justin laughed.  “If you were any more obvious you would be a billboard on the 405.”  After being slapped and admonished playfully, Justin went on.  “I’m really happy for you.  I hope it works out.”

“I don’t quite know if Joe and I are marriage material, but you and Camarin…oh, Justin the two of you are perfect for one another.  I was so thrilled when I heard you were engaged.  But I have to admit…”  Dixie looked away, unable to maintain eye contact.  “Part of me was a little…”

“I think I know how you feel.  I guess there will always be a part of me that wonders what it would have been like if we…”

The sentence trailed off, neither party able to finish the thought.

Finally, Dixie sighed and leaned against her partner.  “That was a long time ago.  So much has changed since then.  And I can see how happy you are when you’re with Camarin…she’s good for you, Justin.”

“Are you happy?”  Justin suddenly needed to know.

Dixie pondered the significance of Justin’s question.  It was almost as if he was asking her permission to move on, even though it had been almost two decades since they had decided they made better friends than lovers.  She looked over at Joe, who was refilling his martini at the bar.  “Yes, Justin.  I’m happy.” 

The song ended and the deejay was calling for the area to be cleared in preparation for the bouquet toss.  All of the single women began making their way up to the front as Hannah stood holding the small bouquet she would use for this fun custom.  Once the tradition was explained to Camarin, she refused to go, despite encouragement from her friends, insisting that because she was engaged to Justin, she was no longer “technically” single.

Hannah stood at the ready and a recorded drum roll signified it was time for the toss.  She lofted the bouquet backwards over her head, and it landed squarely in the hands of Dixie McCall.  She looked over at a smiling Joe before turning her gaze to Justin, who was mouthing the words, “You never know.”

zzz

Roy loaded the last suitcase into the limo that would take Johnny and Hannah to the boat which would carry them to Catalina Island for their wedding night.  He leaned in the car door and offered one final wish to the happy couple.  “Have a good time…don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Johnny laughed.  “Pally, we’ve already done a lot of things you wouldn’t do.”

Joanne, who was standing next to her husband, quickly corrected their friend.  “You obviously don’t know Roy as well as you think you do…”  Then, she leaned in and spoke to Hannah.  “Just wait ‘til he comes home fresh from a fire…all sweaty and sooty…”

“And tired.”  Hannah laughed.

Joanne smiled slyly.  “Oh, they get over that soon enough…”

Johnny put an end to the girl talk.  “Okay ladies…if you don’t mind…we have a honeymoon to get on with.”  He looked at Hannah and took her hand.  “Shall we?”

Hannah’s eyes danced with excitement.  “I can hardly wait.”

Roy closed the door and tapped the roof of the limo with wishes for a long life filled with health and happiness.

zzz

Johnny called Hannah from the spacious bath in their room at the Catalina resort where they chose to spend the night.  “Hannah…I’m getting lonely in here.”

Hannah smiled as she adjusted the belt on her complimentary terry cloth robe.  She stepped into the room and there was her new husband, stretched out comfortably in the large whirlpool, looking up at her with beckoning brown eyes.  He was so adorably sexy, she had to stifle a laugh even as her cheeks flushed with warmth.

“Come on in…the water’s fine.”  He said as he reached for the bottle of wine beside him and poured two glasses.

Hannah had to resist the urge to hop in then and there.  She knelt by the tub and stirred the water with her hands.  “It looks great, but…you’re not really supposed to spend a lot of time in a hot tub when you’re pregnant…”

“Can you spend a little time?”  Johnny’s hands began untying Hannah’s belt.

Hannah allowed him to finish as the loose fitting robe fell from her shoulders onto the floor.  “Well, I guess a little time wouldn’t hurt…”  She climbed in and positioned herself on Johnny’s lap for a kiss.  Mindful of his legs, she asked, “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

Johnny’s eyes grew dark with desire.  “Oh, no…you’re not hurting me…”  He kissed her hungrily before finally parting, out of breath.  “So, Mrs. Gage…”

“You mean Dr. Gage,” the veterinarian toyed.

Johnny’s brow knitted.  “Dr. Gage…man, does that ever sound strange…but okay…Dr. Gage…any regrets?”

Hannah pretended to think about it for a while.  “Hmmm….it’s not really a regret, but…it’s our honeymoon…it would be kind of nice if this were our ‘first time.’”

Johnny raised a rakish eyebrow.  “Well…it’s our first time in a hot tub.”

Hannah splashed her husband in the face before agreeing.  “That it is…”

Johnny lifted Hannah slightly, positioning himself underneath her.  “So, I think we should make the best of it…don’t you?”

Hannah settled, eliciting a pleasured gasp from her partner.  “Oh, absolutely.”  Then she started lighting a path of kisses down Johnny’s neck, enjoying the stirring she felt beneath her.  Moving her lips to his ear, she whispered, “I love you, John Gage.”

Johnny replied, breathless.  “I love you, Hannah.”

--FINIS—

Authors notes:  Thank you for sticking with me through this labor of love.  When I started out writing “Dark Before the Dawn” little did I know that it would lead me on this journey.  The education I have received about the history and current plight of the Lakota on the Pine Ridge Reservation has been both enlightening and disheartening.  If anyone is interested in information on how to make a difference in the lives of the Lakota Sioux, please check out the following yahoo group:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FriendsofPineRidgeReservation

Thank you to my dedicated beta and best friend, Mary Ann.  It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it?  Did I put Kel in boots and jeans for you this time around?  Yes…I think I did.  Of course, there was also a lot of twitching and arm crossing too.  Oh, and thank you for giving Todd a face!  And what a nice face it is…

A special thank you to all the readers who have supplied me with feedback and have requested more in this continuing saga, and who seem to be having as much fun with the characters of Justin and Hannah (and hopefully now a few others) as I am.  As long as you continue to read, I will do my best to continue writing.  The next story in this series, “Baptized By Fire” is in the works.  Look for Justin to be baptized into the world of owie.  But, don’t worry…lots of pain and angst are in store for Johnny as well, physically and emotionally.

Finally, please remember that this is a work of fiction.  While I try to make things as real and accurate as possible, any medical mistakes or historical inaccuracies (including the Lakota language) are either accidental or intentional.  Either way, I take full credit.

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