The Five Minute Identity Crisis

By Audrey W.





“Okay, secure the chain, John,” Captain Stanley directed as he snaked one end of the heavy duty links to one of his crew members through a hole in the windshield. The firemen had a victim that was pinned behind the steering wheel of his wrecked car, and they were going to have to pull it up and away from him to extract him from the badly damaged vehicle. 


Knowing the rescue of the injured driver was more important than a name and that he was the one the directions were intended for, Chet Kelly didn’t bother to correct his captain. He simply obeyed the orders while inside with the victim. 


But before they could actually move anything, paramedic John Gage was at the passenger door, having finished helping his partner Roy DeSoto with another victim.



“Lemme in there, Cap.”


Again, Chet didn’t bother to correct the name used. It was more important that he do as requested and allow the medically trained fireman to takeover with the victim. John didn’t correct himself when he saw it wasn’t the captain in the car, but rather the lower ranking Kelly.


Chet hurried around to the front of the car to see what more he could do to help where Captain Stanley and the rest of the engine crew stood ready with the port-a-power and chains rigged on the hood.


The men watched John cover the victim’s head with his blue jacket to protect him from possible flying pieces of glass.



“Stand back, Marco,” Hank said when the paramedic gave the signal he was ready for them to begin.


Once again, Chet did as requested without a correction, but this wrong name stuff was starting to get a little ridiculous. Didn’t anyone remember he was there? After all, he was just as important to the crew as anyone else was.




Once they had the man freed enough to move him, Marco Lopez came up to his downcast looking comrade while John carefully worked to pull the victim out through the passenger side. 


“What’s wrong?”


“Nothin’ except no one seems to know I’m here.”


“What do you mean?”


“Well, Cap called me ‘John’ and John called me ‘Cap’. . .then Cap called me you. . .   ‘Marco’. What happened to Chet?”


Marco patted him on the shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Mike.”


The curly-haired mustached fireman gave him a sarcastic look of ‘thanks a lot’, then both turned their attention to John on the other side of the car. He had just summoned a nearby police officer and the captain to help him get the injured man the rest of the way out and onto a waiting stretcher.



“Chet, can you drive the squad to Rampart for me?” Gage asked as he followed along beside his patient that was secured and ready for transport. He'd start treatment along the way.




The fireman beamed. He was back.


“See ya later, Roy,” he said to Marco as he trotted toward the red Dodge rescue truck.



This was inspired by a blooper in the episode 'Rip-Off', where Captain Stanley calls Chet 'John' in the scene these screen captures are from. Although THAT was a true blooper, the rest are made up for fun. This is NOT meant to be a re-write of that scene, but rather the still shots borrowed to create a similar one. :o)


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