Journey Into Uncertainty

Part 5

Johnny sat on the edge of his bed, struggling to deal with the vertigo that still plagued him.  It had only been two days, but in typical John Gage fashion, he was tired of being stuck inside.  Carefully bending down to tie the other shoe, he tried to breathe deep and stay calm.  When he straightened again, it was to find Roy watching him from the doorway.

“I thought you were going to wait for me to help you.”

“Been dressing myself for years now, Dad.” 

“Is that why your shirt is only half on?”  Roy grinned wickedly.

“Okay, okay . . .so I’m having a little trouble with the arm.  Sue me.”

Walking swiftly to the bed, Roy reached down to help guide his friend’s arm into the sleeve, and then slipped the white sling over the top of the flannel shirt.

“I think you’re going to need a jacket, too.  It’s kinda cold out there today.”

“Yeah, season’s changing.”

The two men were silent as Roy quickly buttoned Johnny’s shirt, then stepped back out of the way.   Johnny didn’t stand, but remained perched on the edge of the bed.   He hadn’t missed sight of the duffel bag that Roy had unceremoniously kicked out of the way Sunday evening when they returned from the clinic.  He’d known, from that moment, that his partner and best friend had been planning to leave soon.  He just hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask when. 

All the other questions had seemed easy.  Who had Roy called from Dr. Timmon’s office . . .  how were Joanne and the kids taking the news . . . what was happening back at 51’s?  And Roy had answered each and every one, even taking time to fill him in on the details of what was going on in LA County.

Roy had finally told Johnny that his apartment was gone, his belongings in storage, and his job in question.  That had been a difficult conversation, and afterwards, Roy had left the bunkhouse for several hours.  Bess had filled in the time, chattering happily from her chair by the fireplace while she darned a pair of socks.  Johnny hadn’t been fooled though; both of his friends were on edge.   Hell, he was too. 

The important question remained unasked, as if hanging imminently over everyone’s head.  He’d waited for two days for Roy to speak up, and still the man remained silent.  Johnny knew that his friend had the patience of Job, but this was getting ridiculous.

‘Fine, then, I guess I’ll get the ball rolling.’

“When are you leaving?”  Johnny blurted, unceremoniously.

He knew he’d caught Roy by surprise.  It was obvious from the man’s stricken expression, along with the sudden flush of color on his face.

”What . . .  why . . . why do you ask?”

“Because, man, you can’t stay here forever.  I know you have to be out of vacation, and sick days too.  Joanne’s probably going nuts worrying about you, and LA County isn’t going to hold both of our jobs open forever.”

Roy stared, but didn’t answer.

“Besides.”  Johnny answered, somewhat softer.  “I saw that you’d packed your bag the other day.”

“Oh. . . “  

Roy shuffled over to other bed, and sat down to face Johnny.

“I was going to tell you that night, but well . . .things changed.”

”Yeah, they did.”  Johnny hesitated.   “Were you going to leave without telling me who you were?”

“Yes.”

“Oh . . .”  Johnny mumbled, unaware that he was an echo of his friend.

“Dr. Brackett said that I shouldn’t push you to remember.   We weren’t sure if it would cause more problems . . .you know, like the nightmares.”

“Yeah.  I . . okay, I guess I can understand that.  It’s just . . . it’s just hard to accept that you were going to walk away.”

“I wasn’t going to just walk away.”  Roy firmly defended.  “Bess and I had already discussed things.  We were going to stay in contact.  And she promised to call me if . . . in case you started to remember.  I . . . well, you said it a few minutes ago . . . I have to go home.  I didn’t know what else to do then, and I don’t know what else to do now. . .”  

Roy stared at him silently, as if begging for his forgiveness.

“This stinks.”   Johnny stated flatly.

Roy dropped his head slightly, and nodded.

“Yeah, it does.” 

The tiny clock on the mantle ticked quietly, the only sound in the room.  Johnny stared at his hands, unsure of how to proceed, how to break the news to his best friend.  When he finally forced himself to look up at Roy, he realized he didn’t have to.  Roy knew.

“You’re staying.”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”  Roy asked quietly.

“No.”

Roy stared, first at him, then at the floor, then towards the door.  The expression of loss that covered his face, never changed.

“You can always change your mind.”

“I know . . .  Roy, man, this is so hard.”  Johnny scrubbed his face feebly with his good hand.  “I don’t want to hurt you, and I know that LA is my home, too.  But Bess needs me.  And truth is, I need her too.  This is my home now.”

“You’ve thought about this.” 

“That’s about all I have thought of the past two days.”  Johnny mumbled.

“Yeah.  Me too.”

Finally forcing himself up, Roy stood over Johnny a full minute before he spoke.  When he did, his voice was strained.

“I’ll leave tomorrow.”

“Yeah.  Okay.”

Neither man spoke.  After several minutes, Roy helped Johnny to his feet and they walked silently out the door.   The rest of the day was spent together, looking over the animals, working at easy chores, or just sitting silently together.

It seemed like only a few hours, but it was a whole day later when Johnny leaned against the side of Harold’s truck, and watched Roy shove his bag in the back.  They only had a few minutes left.  Harold had already warned them that they were cutting it close if Roy wanted to meet the bus in town.  Since he’d already scheduled a flight home, it was important that he not be late and miss his connections. 

They’d finally tried to talk again, the night before, but words had seemed too inadequate for the situation.  Johnny tried to console himself with the knowledge that Roy understood.  He hoped he was right.  He hoped he was doing the right thing.   Watching Roy say goodbye to Bess, he wasn’t sure.

But now Roy was walking towards him, and the moment was here.  Could he do it?  Could he really say goodbye to his best friend, to his past, his career, to everything that meant anything to him?   As he took Roy’s hand in his, he silently answered yes.  Bess was quietly waiting by the gate, her warm and understanding smile a beacon of love and acceptance.  He’d found something here.  A life he didn’t know he wanted, love he didn’t realized he’d missed.

“I’ll miss you.”  Roy said sadly.

“Me too.  Give Joanne and the kids a hug for me.  Tell Cap and the guys hello.  And . . . I’ll call.”

“Okay.  Sure.” 

They stared at each other for several minutes, their handshake frozen between them, and finally Johnny made the only move he felt was right.  One armed, he pulled his best friend towards him for a brief moment.

“Take care, Roy.”

Roy didn’t answer, but squeezed Johnny’s good arm for a moment before letting go.  And then, in an instant, he’d climbed into the cab of Harold’s truck.  As the pickup headed down the long narrow lane, Johnny stood in silence, one arm raised in farewell.   He watched for as long as the pickup was in sight, Roy’s arm stretched out the window in his own silent goodbye.

*****************

Roy slammed his locker door, anxious to leave the room . . . anything to get away from Chet’s current tirade.  It had been hard enough to leave Johnny in Oregon, one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, but Chet’s unending outburst was making a bad situation even worse.

Without a word, Roy walked past the Irishman, and made his way to the kitchen and a hot cup of coffee.  He spotted Captain Stanley in the doorway of his office, and gave him a weak nod.  It was going to be another long shift.

Everyone knew what had happened, and that Johnny had chosen not to return to LA.  Cap had accompanied Joanne to the airport to meet Roy, anxious to get any information first hand.   Though it had been difficult to explain the reasons why Johnny hadn’t come home with him, they seemed to understand.  Or at least, they tried to accept the situation.   Chet was another story.  He worried the topic, like a dog worries a bone. 

The first several shifts had been difficult.  Subsequent shifts were even worse.  Chet was angry.  And Roy was the unlucky recipient of that anger.  Although he was trying hard to be sympathetic, and had even met privately with Cap while off-duty in an effort to deal with the problem, it was hard to keep up a positive front.  Especially when his own instinct was to rail against his best friend, and the decision he’d made.  How could he argue with Chet, when in truth he had the same feelings?   All he wanted was for Johnny to come home, and for life to get back to normal.  But all the wishing in the world wouldn’t change the facts. Johnny wasn’t coming back, and normal would never be the same normal again. 

They were all just going to have to do their best to accept the inevitable and move on.  The guys seemed to understand, and were doing their best.  Even Tom, his new permanent partner, had been sensitive to the problem.  Everyone was trying except Chet.  And as the weeks passed, the situation at Station 51 was becoming unbearable. 

Neither Cap nor Roy wanted any of this to reflect on Chet’s career.  However, they also recognized that if the man didn’t back off soon, Cap was going to have to step in and officially put a stop to it.   Mike had tried.  Marco had tried, both on and off duty.  No one seemed to be able to get through to Chet, and as of this morning, his new plan was to spend his next free day flying to Oregon.  In his own words “I’ll drag his skinny ass all the way back to LA, if I have to, but he’s not wasting the rest of his life on some two-bit ranch in the boonies of Oregon.”

Roy would’ve laughed if Chet hadn’t looked so serious.  Besides, it wouldn’t help their working relationship if he had.  As it was, they were barely speaking to each other.  Chet had it in his head that Roy had let Johnny down, and that it was somehow Roy’s fault John wouldn’t come home.   How he’d come to that mistaken belief was anyone’s guess, but the pressure it was putting on Roy was intolerable. 

Cap had told him early on, that he should simply tell Chet to back off, but Roy couldn’t seem to do it.  Maybe it was because he felt, oddly, that Chet might be right.   Should he have done more?  Pushed harder?  Insisted that Johnny come home?

The sound of his cup smashing to the floor startled Roy into awareness.  He knew that his apologies were unnecessary, as he hurried to the closet for a broom and dustpan.  The room was silent when he returned, making him feel even more awkward than before. 

The tension was thick, and Roy sensed that they’d reached a showdown of sorts.  He didn’t think he could deal with it now, his own emotions too raw.  Head down, he focused on the broken cup, and swept the pieces quickly into the pan.  When he straightened up, he was met with Chet’s icy stare, and then finally, after weeks of suppression, he broke.

“Don’t even say it, Chet.  Just don’t go there!   I don’t know why he didn’t come home.  I don’t know why he chose to make his life on the ranch instead of here.  I don’t understand it all, and I don’t want to accept it.  But I don’t have a choice.  He’s found something there . . . something he wants and needs . . . something that he evidently didn’t have here.  I don’t know what else to tell you, and I don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with it.  Hell, I don’t know how to deal with it!”

Roy stopped for a breath, surprised at the look of contrition on Chet’s face.  The other men simply stood wordlessly, as if relieved that Roy had finally given in to the anger they all knew he’d been holding back.  Taking a deep breath, he looked around the room, searching for the right words to continue.   His eyes settled back on Chet, and when he spoke again, his voice was quieter, yet held no apology. 

“We just have to accept it, Chet.  Right or wrong, good or bad, he’s made his choice.  As much as we don’t like, we have to accept it and move on.”

Chet didn’t say a word.  He placed his own coffee cup silently on the table, and walked out of the kitchen.  Cap was standing at the doorway, and Roy wondered if his superior had been to witness his outburst.  He decided it didn’t matter, but was glad when he saw Cap rest his hand briefly on Chet’s shoulder.  It didn’t stop the fireman.  He just kept walking, and no one spoke until they heard the Dorm door close behind him. 

Sinking to the nearest chair, Roy dropped his head into his hands.  Mike and Marco tried to act as natural as possible, as they went about making another pot of coffee, and Tom discreetly withdrew from the Dayroom.   It was Cap who finally spoke, and Roy was startled when he realized that his superior was sitting beside him.

“It had to be said, Roy.  Chet knows it, we all do, but it had to be said.  He just needs to accept that life changes, for all of us.”

“Yeah, I guess.  I didn’t have to yell at him, though.”

“I think you did.  You got his attention, and that hasn’t been easy to do lately.”

Cap paused for a moment.  “It’ll get better, Roy.  Time will help us all accept it.”

Without looking up, Roy nodded in agreement.

“I know, Cap.  I know you’re right.  I know that everything I said to Chet was right.  And we have to accept Johnny’s decision.   But I wish I could do what Chet wanted to do.”

“What was that?”

Roy almost grinned when he finally faced his captain.

“Fly up to Oregon, and drag his skinny ass back to LA.”

***************************

Almost three weeks had passed since Roy’s outburst at the station.  Since then, A-shift seemed resigned to accept Johnny’ absence and move on.  Though Chet and Roy never talked about it, they seemed to have reached an unspoken understanding.   They didn’t like it, didn’t fully agree with it, but they would respect Johnny’s decision.

Though there had been numerous phone calls between Roy’s house and Bess’s ranch, the conversations felt unnatural, even strained.  They talked about Joanne and the kids, Roy’s new partner, Bess, Johnny’s chores on the ranch, and even the upcoming holidays.  But they never talked about the choices that had been made, or the consequences.  

Though the friendship was intact, the old camaraderie was strained.  Roy hoped that they’d find some new ground, soon.  He didn’t want to lose his best friend.  Given everything he’d just gone through to find Johnny, he was determined not to let that happen.  But it was a long way to Oregon, and he’d exhausted any vacation time over the past six months.  So, for now, their friendship was relegated to letters or phone calls.  Maybe, next summer, he could plan a trip north with the family.  He knew that Joanne and the kids would love it.  Chris and Jennifer couldn’t understand why their Uncle Johnny wasn’t coming home, but maybe after they’d had a chance to visit him on the ranch, and meet Bess . . . well, maybe it would make things a little easier.  Like everyone else, they were just going to have to learn to accept the change.

The sound of the klaxons startled Roy.  Leaning his mop in the corner, he hurried to the squad while Cap took down the information.   As they pulled out of the bay, Roy turned right and sped towards their call, smiling when his new partner mentioned lunch.  He liked this new guy.  Though he was nothing like Johnny, and never would be, Tom was friendly, and most important, a good paramedic.  It was going to take some more getting used to, and he suspected that they would never mesh in quite the same way that he and Johnny did, but he’d do his best to make this partnership work.  He was tired of a different face every shift.

“Just another change to accept.”  Roy muttered quietly.

“What was that?”  Tom asked curiously.

“Huh?  Oh, sorry.  Just wondering what Chet was going to fix for lunch.   Some new recipe we’ll have to accept.”  Roy lied.

Tom nodded as he pointed out the next turn, but his smile seemed a little too forced.  Roy bit his lip, wondering what the man was really thinking, realizing again that he had to quit focusing on the past.  He didn’t have time to try to cover up the confusion however, as they rounded the last corner.  A large warehouse was engulfed in flames, and they were instantly absorbed with the job at hand.

Several hours passed before Roy backed the squad into the station again.  They had transported two victims to Rampart, one security guard who suffered from smoke inhalation, and a fireman from 8’s who fell off a ladder.   The follow up didn’t take too long, but long enough for the rest of the crew to finish the clean up and head home.  Roy was just opening his door when Mike backed the engine into the bay beside them.

“Guess it’s time to sample Chet’s cooking.”  Tom quipped knowingly.

“Oh, great.”  Roy mumbled, as he slammed the door, and headed for the kitchen. 

In almost the same instant, Roy and Chet reached the doorway, and immediately froze in mid-step.   There were four large pizza’s spread out on the table, plates and utensils at the ready.  Almost simultaneously, the two men turned to look around the room, surprised at what they found.

Seated on the leather couch, one hand resting on Henry, the other holding a slice of pizza, was Johnny.   Unaffected by the crew’s arrival, he simply took another bite then nodded appreciatively.

“Good pizza, guys.  Sure took you long enough to show up.  Better grab some before it gets any colder.”

The group instantly erupted in a flurry of motion.  Chet was first to cross the room, pulling Johnny from the couch, and pumping his hand vigorously.   Marco and Mike were right behind him, both happily welcoming their friend.  Roy stood back the longest, watching the activity, and studying the people around him.  Cap looked happy, but not as surprised as one would’ve suspected.  In fact, at one point, Roy was almost sure that Cap and Tom winked at each other.  He’d have to ask about that later.

When the initial shock wore off, the others congregated around the table, arguing over who wanted which pizza.  Only then did Roy move over to stand by Johnny.  At first, he simply stared at his friend in silence, as if trying to discern the true meaning of the visit.  When Johnny broke into one of his full-fledged grins, Roy finally knew for sure that his presence here was what they’d all been wishing for.

“You’re back . . . for good?”

“Well, I heard that you’re pretty hard to work with, but I thought I’d give it a shot.”

Roy glanced over his shoulder, surprised to see Tom smiling broadly at them both.

“I take it that you arranged this?”

Johnny nodded.  “Been talking to Cap.  He worked everything out with the department, and with Tom.  If you still want your old partner, then yeah, I’m back.  For good.”

Roy almost beamed with pleasure.  Draping his arm across Johnny’s shoulder, he looked at the floor for a moment before continuing.

“What about Bess?”

“Oh, she’s good.  Actually, she’s better than good.  She’s great.  Seems like Harold finally decided to get around to courting her after you left.  They’re getting married in a few weeks.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope.  Didn’t surprise me.  Well, not much anyway.  I always suspected there was a reason Harold hung around the ranch so much.”

The two were still laughing when Cap finally stepped over.  He reached out to shake hands with Johnny, but in an uncharacteristic action, he pulled the younger man close for what could’ve passed as a quick hug.  Looking Johnny over, he nodded in satisfaction.

“You’re looking good, John.  Real good.  I’m glad you’re back.”

Johnny didn’t answer at first, hanging his head slightly.  When he did look up at his captain, it was with a look of happiness, even contentment.

“Thanks, Cap.  I am too.   It took me a little while, and Bess had to help me see it.  But I finally figured out that this is where my life really is.  This is where I belong.”

There was a brief pause as they considered Johnny’s choice.

“What about a place to live?”  Cap asked carefully.

“I guess, since Roy got rid of my place, I’m finally free to look for what I really want.”

“What’s that?”

“A ranch.  Nothing big.  Just a few acres where I can keep a horse or two.  But what I really want is something of my own.  And that way, I’ll kind of have the best of both worlds.”

Roy was not only grateful; he was also relieved to hear those words.  He’d missed Johnny, they all had.  Yet, even though he’d wanted his friend back, he didn’t want it to be for the wrong reasons.  Johnny’s admission was confirmation that the choice had truly been his, and not some half-hearted attempt to please his friends. 

“When did you say you’re going back, Johnny?”  Marco asked.

Suddenly, he realized that the conversation had gone on without him, and Roy wasn’t sure he’d heard Johnny right.  So uncertain he was almost afraid to hear the answer, his voice faltered a little when he finally managed to blurt out his question.

“What was that?  Did you say you’re going back up there?”

Johnny laughed happily.

“Geez, Roy, you getting deaf in your old age?   I said I was thinking of going up there next summer to visit them.”

“Really?  You’re going to drive up to Oregon?  Next summer?”

Instantly, Chet was standing in front of them, his expression one of near shock.

“No way!  You wouldn’t!”  Turning to the others, his voice raised almost an octave; Chet put the question to them all.  “He’s not going up there by himself, is he?”

Four voices answered in almost perfect unison.

“Absolutely not!”

THE END!

* Epilogue *

Johnny smiled warmly as he folded the letter into thirds and slipped it back into its envelope.  He’d read and reread it numerous times, but the feelings it evoked remained the same.  He only needed to read a few lines in order to imagine himself back at Bess’s place. Tapping the envelope twice against his palm, he tucked it safely into a box on his dresser and shut the lid. 

Pulling several t-shirts from an open drawer, Johnny pushed them into his duffel bag then zipped it closed.   He shut the drawer and looked once more around the room before hefting the overstuffed bag to his shoulder.  What he saw made him happy, and he smiled again.

Downstairs, he made one last cursory check of lights and doors.  Everything seemed to be in order.  Again he looked around and smiled.  The large room, complete with his recliner and couch, opened into a small but neatly designed kitchen.  It was a perfect layout for his lifestyle, and he was grateful that he’d found the place.

After he returned to LA, he’d spent the first several months at Roy’s place.  At first he’d agreed grudgingly, but after only a few days there, he knew he’d made the right decision.   Joanne had been wonderful, making him feel welcome and at home.  She seemed to understand his need to have his surrogate family close, and was more than willing to give him that security plus a happy, stable home life.  Chris and Jennifer were the icing on the cake.  Their infectious laughter and busy schedules made the days fly by.  The final piece fell into place when he returned to Station 51.

Tom seemed to understand when Cap approached him, and willingly offered to transfer to another station so that Johnny could return to his old job.  They’d all been grateful to the new paramedic for his consideration, but like Joanne, he seemed to understand what was best for everyone.  Johnny was truly relieved when a position opened up at 36’s, and Tom seemed to hit it off immediately with Sam Abbot.  In fact, he wondered if they were developing the same kind of relationship that he and Roy enjoyed.

They were both a bit nervous, Johnny’s first day back on the job, but it had only taken one run together to put the old partners at ease.  Nothing had changed between them, after all, and Johnny was truly happy to be back at his chosen profession. 

But the best part of the last year was the day he moved into his own home. 

Roy had spent many weekends helping him look for just the right place.   They’d finally found it, nestled into the hills, a fifteen-acre parcel complete with house and small barn.  It was perfect.   During the spring and early summer, Johnny had worked hard on various repairs and a few upgrades.  Now that summer had arrived, he was pleased with all his efforts. 

Walking to the back door, he flipped off the light and went outside, carefully locking up behind him.  The early morning quiet remained, the sky dark with only a thin line of light barely creeping over the eastern ridge of the mountains.  Enjoying the scene, he didn’t hurry as he approached the vehicle in his driveway, but took his time stowing his bag in the back of the rented crew cab.   He went back to the porch for the large cooler and lunch box, depositing them in the back next to his bag before closing the canopy door. 

Johnny’s impatience grew as the faint light grew brighter.  In the trees near the barn, a weak chorus began as the birds woke to the new day.  Sunrise was almost upon him, and he checked his watch.  It was time to get going.  Looking up the drive, he shook his head before going to check the horse trailer hooked to the back of the truck.  Everything seemed ready.

The trailer belonged to his new neighbor, a friendly older man named Bill.  They’d hit it off instantly, and were already exchanging tools and labor.  When Johnny had told him about his upcoming trip to Oregon, Bill had insisted on loaning him the trailer.  Though he initially refused, Johnny finally agreed to accept the generous offer, but only after he insisted on repairing his neighbor’s fence.

Now, looking around his own place, Johnny was glad that he’d done similar repairs on his own fencing.  The corral stood ready, the stalls in the barn prepared for their new inhabitants.  Bess had insisted that he come for a visit, and she’d also made it clear that he’d be taking several horses back home with him when he left.  He’d argued until he didn’t have any energy to argue anymore, and then Harold had come on the line.  He told Johnny that there was no use wasting his breath, the woman had made up her mind.  After that, he’d given in.  Agreed to the visit, and the gift.  Secretly, he also planned to do some work while he was there, anything to help repay the woman’s kindness.

He gazed around his new home one last time.  Yes, the place was ready, and Johnny was ready, too.  Ready to get on the road.  Just then, he heard the sound of a familiar car, turning off the main road.  He only had to wait a few minutes to see Roy’s station wagon emerge from the tree-lined driveway.  He grinned widely at the sleepy group that finally crawled out of the car.

“Good morning, good morning!   Are we ready to hit the road?”  He greeted them happily.

Several groans emanated, mostly from the older two, but the youngest members seemed to come alive at the sight of the truck and trailer, packed and ready to go.

“Are we really taking that all the way to Oregon, Uncle Johnny?”

“We sure are, Jen.  Just as soon as you get your suitcase out of the car, and into the back of the pickup.”

“Cool,” murmured Christopher, as he followed Jen to the back of the station wagon. 

Roy was already unloading their gear, while Joanne retrieved her purse and a small pillow from the front seat.

“Morning, partner.”  Roy managed, as he passed Johnny with a load of luggage under each arm.

“Think you packed enough there, Roy?”  Johnny grinned.

Roy only managed to roll his eyes, as he hurried to cram the bags in with Johnny’s meager supplies.

“I was sure we only brought what we needed.”  Said Joanne, hesitantly, as she shut the car door.  “It was so nice of you to include us on your trip, Johnny.   I hope we didn’t bring too much.”

“No.  No, it’s fine, Joanne.  I just had to give the old man a hard time.”

“Old man . . . getting me up at four a.m. on the first morning of my vacation . . . I’ll show you, old man!”

They all laughed at Roy’s mocking tone, while Johnny locked the canopy, and they settled into their seats.  As Johnny started the engine, Roy looked over at him from the passenger side.

“You ready for this partner?”

Johnny studied his friend then turned to look in the seat behind him, noting the happily expectant faces of Joanne and the kids.  With a broad smile of his own, Johnny nodded at Roy as he put the truck into gear.  It had been a very long year.  Full of strange twists and turns.   Relationships made, others almost lost.  But in the end, he’d found his way, his life, and his family.

“You bet I am!”

Finale

Thanks to all of those encouraging voices that kept me coming back to this story, and that includes you, Viv, Audrey, Jill & Leesa.  But most of all, my very special heartfelt thanks go to you, Kenda!  Thanks for your ideas, suggestions, support and corrections when needed.  It truly has been a journey!

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