The characters of Emergency! are owned by Universal and Mark VII. No copyright infringement is intended. 

This story follows Missing. . .But Not Forgotten.

Missing Years…Forgotten

By LaJuan

Roy was reading the newspaper in the day room with the rest of his crew waiting for Tom to finish cooking tuna casserole.  He heard the phone ringing and heard Henry answer.  "Firefighter Henry Hudson, Station 41.  Yes sir.  He's here.  Hold on and I'll get him.  Hey Cap.  Telephone."

Roy normally took his phone calls in his office, so he could have privacy when his family called.  Going in, he shut the door behind him and spoke into the phone.  "Captain Roy DeSoto."

"Roy, Kel Brackett."

"Hi, Doc.  How's it going in Administration?"

"I think I would rather be a patient pusher than a paper pusher."

With a chuckle Roy replied, "I think I understand that very well.  The older I get the more paper I push here at the station.  What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about your partner."

"Has he gotten worse?"

"No, he's beaten the pneumonia.  We'll discharge him tomorrow afternoon."

"That was a typical Johnny, going after those horses down in the canyon and not paying attention to the approaching thunderstorm.  By the time Jennifer found him, he was hypothermic.  He's so tunnel visioned lately."

"It's that focusing that I want to talk to you about.  Can you come by my office at nine o'clock tomorrow morning for a meeting over Johnny?  I'm going to have two other doctors there."

"Sure.  Ah…What's going on, Doc?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow at the meeting."

"Does Johnny know he's going to be discharged?"

"No, I'll tell him after lunch."

Roy's memories took him on a trip to the past.  When his wife, Joanne, was still alive and his children were young, his paramedic partner made a life-changing decision.  Johnny's aunt, who had raised him, had died.  Johnny took Roy with him to a lawyer and set Roy up as executor of his will and gave Roy both financial and medical power of attorney.  Roy didn't want to be reminded that Johnny could die or be incapacitated, but in their work as firefighter/paramedics, that possibility was a reality.  Years later when Johnny and Roy's daughter, Jennifer, disappeared on her sixteenth birthday, Roy was grateful for Johnny's foresight.  He had to utilize the financial power of attorney to settle Johnny's accounts and sell his ranch.  Roy had taken the proceeds and invested the money.  Over the years, the investment multiplied.  Roy had never touched the money.  It would one day either be returned to Johnny or to one of his heirs.  Johnny had sowed enough wild oats that surely one of them had taken seed.  But no young lady with child had come forward when the legal notice was published in the newspaper.

Joanne had been such a support during that time.  She, like Roy, had lost a child. She understood the tight friendship he had with Johnny and was always there to give him a hug when Roy grew silent.  It was Joanne who had convinced him to not forget, but to go on with his life.  With her help and support, he went for the Captain's exam and passed it.  Without Johnny, being a paramedic had lost its strong appeal.

Shortly afterward, he lost Joanne.  Roy was at work while Joanne and Chris were on a trip to look at local colleges so Chris could attend one.  Chris was the driver with his mom in the passenger seat when he drove up beside a large truck loaded with pipe.  They were going up the mountainside and Chris was in the left lane of the Interstate Highway.  The truck was in the center lane and had signaled to move over to the right side climbing lane.  A blue sports car came up suddenly from behind them and headed for the climbing lane, intending to pass on the right.  The driver pushed hard on his horn as the truck started moving over.  Startled, the truck driver swerved back to the left and then to the right trying to stay in the middle lane.  The strain was too much for his cargo and the restraining straps on the pipe broke.  The steel rolling off the truck bombarded both vehicles on either side of the truck.

Roy got the call at the station, told his crew and raced to the hospital.  His engineer called the Chief and the station was told to stand down until a replacement Captain was found.  Roy found Joanne gravely injured and Chris with a crushed leg.  The driver of the sports car was a Code F at the scene and the coroner had laid claim to the body.  The truck driver was in another treatment room being treated for shock.  Joanne lingered for three days before she gave in to her badly damaged body and died.  Roy was devastated and collapsed in her room.

He sat at his desk reliving his grief, sunk into his memories.  The sound of knocking and his engineer's voice startled him back to the present.  "Cap?  Chow's ready."

Putting his hand up to rub the back of his neck, Roy completed his journey to the present.  "Yeah, Frank, I'll be right there."

After the meal, he went back to his office to make two phone calls, one to the ranch to check on his daughter and grandson, Jennifer and Jamie, and one to Rampart to check on Johnny.  He called lights out soon afterwards and hoped for a quiet night.

It was a quiet evening.  The squad had two runs, but the engine had not been called out.  Roy was anxious about the meeting and had awakened early.  Unable to go back to sleep and needing action, he took over cooking chores and had breakfast ready when the wake up tones sounded.  Smelling the food, his crew double-timed it to get to the table, earning their Captain's chuckle.  Soon after C shift started filtering in.  When Captain Barton came in, Roy went into the office and caught him up on some administrative information.  Roy left to change to his civvies. Upon exiting to go to his pickup, he heard Barton bellow out, "Roll call, five minutes."

As he neared Rampart Hospital, Roy could feel the tension building between his shoulder blades.  He pulled into a parking place, parked, and, to relieve the tension, put his body through some flexible stretching.  He could hear the cracking and popping of his joints as he did.  Yes, he was getting older, but he could still carry someone out of a burning building, if necessary.  Looking at his watch, he knew he needed to get into the hospital for the meeting.

It brought back memories to go into ER.  Normally he would have seen Dixie there, but she had retired years ago and was doing part-time home care.  He made his way easily through the hospital to the administrative office.  Coming into the office, he saw Stella, Brackett's secretary.  "I'll announce you Mr. DeSoto.  Would you like to have a cup of coffee while you wait?"

"No. Thanks, Stella."

In minutes she returned to take Roy to the conference room containing three men, where Dr. Kel Brackett greeted him warmly.  "Roy, it's good that you could make it.  I would like you to meet Dr. Darrell Brice, a psychiatrist, and Dr. Harry Wyatt, from Rehabilitation and Occupational Therapy.  Gentlemen, this is Roy DeSoto, a Captain with the Los Angeles County Fire Department.  He runs Station 41."

Roy shook their hands and then cocked an eye at Dr. Brice.  "Brice.  You wouldn't be kin to a Craig Brice?"

"He's my cousin.  You know him?"

"He was my paramedic partner for six months until I became a Captain."

"You must be made of stern stuff.  I wouldn't have lasted two months with Cuz without committing murder or suicide."

That comment brought a chuckle from Brackett who then issued the invitation for the three men to get down to business.  Turning toward Roy, Dr. Brackett brought out the purpose of the meeting.  "Roy, these two doctors and their teams are conducting a clinical study on therapy for brain damaged individuals.  Their research has taken a different approach to rewiring the human brain."

"Okay, Doc.  But what does their research have to do with me?"

"You hold the power of attorney over Johnny and he fits the criteria for the study."

"And you want to use Johnny as a guinea pig.  No way!  He's gone through enough already!"

"Hold on, Roy.  Hear us out."  Brackett was amazed at the depth of feeling that Roy still had for his former partner.  Roy's instant temper and protectiveness proved it.  He knew that he had to convince Roy that this was a good chance for Johnny to recover some, if not everything of what he had lost.

Roy took a few deep breaths to try to calm himself.  He never intended to blow a gasket, but he didn't want anyone using Johnny.  Johnny hadn't been able to defend himself in a long time.  Roy sat down and reached for a glass and poured water into it from the pitcher of ice water on the serving tray.  Roy took a couple of measured sips, leaned back in the conference chair and motioned to Kel that he was ready to listen.

It took ninety minutes for the team of doctors to make their presentations.  Roy asked questions until he ran out.  Telling the doctors that he needed to think on it, Roy left the meeting with a glimmer of hope clutched to his heart.  The possibility of helping his old friend regain his life was worthy of pursuit.

Roy went down the elevator to the ground floor and made his way to the cafeteria where he saw two paramedics out of Station 26.  He spent some time drinking coffee with them before he decided to go up to Johnny's room.  Walking into room 354, he noticed that Johnny was fully dressed with no medical equipment attached.  Johnny was sleeping with his arm thrown above his eyes and his breathing was even without wheezing.  Not wanting to wake his friend, Roy went over to the window to look out over the valley.  His mind started to wander the pathways to the past.

It had been difficult to see the changed Johnny as Roy drove Johnny and Jennifer in the Land Rover back from Arizona.  Previous to the kidnapping, Johnny had been a complicated man with facets ranging from serious, smart, to fun loving and humorous.  He had been a motor mouth with an opinion on everything.  Now he appeared simple, gentle, and quiet.  Even with years of therapy, he still stuttered in times of anxiety and tiredness.  He was weak on his left side and had to wear a brace on his left foot and calf.  It caused him to limp and often frustrated him.  The beatings and starvation Johnny had endured had left their mark on Roy's friend.  As he gazed at Johnny's lanky form, Roy was forever grateful to Johnny for trying to protect Roy's daughter, Jennifer.

Jennifer was also marked by her ordeal.  She had come back into his life grown up, with a son, and was furiously protective of Johnny.  She had lost her teenage years, dating, the prom and graduation.  He didn't know his own daughter.  She was still stubborn, but she had grown disturbingly quiet also - just like Johnny.  Maybe the doctors would consent to some joint therapy.

Roy's thoughts continued to travel as he walked over to the chair by the hospital bed.  Easing his tall body into the hard chair, he allowed his drooped head to be propped up by his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.  He drifted into that twilight state between waking and sleeping.  Just as his sleep deepened he was shocked awake and almost fell on the floor by a hand pulling his elbow away from his knee.  He woke up to Johnny squatted down in front of him, giggling.

"Johnny, why did you do that?"

"I just wanted to see what would happen to your head if one hand was removed.  It stayed up."

Looking at the grinning face that he had known for so long, Roy couldn't get angry.  His slight smile broadened and it wasn't long before both men broke out laughing.  The door was pushed open to reveal Kel Brackett striding in.  His eyebrows knitted into a frown and then changed to puzzlement.  Both men stood up.  "Hey Doc, what are you doing out of your lofty tower?"

Nodding at Johnny, Dr. Brackett turned toward Roy to answer his question.  "Just wanted to give our favorite guest here at Rampart General a proper send off. "  With a flourish, he presented the discharge papers to Roy.  Roy could see the look of hurt that crossed Johnny's face and he immediately crossed over and gave the papers to Johnny.

As Johnny sat down on the hospital bed to look over the paperwork, Dr. Brackett looked at Roy and queried, "Roy, have you…"

Roy cut him off with, "I told you I needed some time to think on it.  I'll get back to you.  My concern right now is getting Johnny home."

"Well, the nurse will be here soon with a wheelchair.  I'll see you guys around.  Roy, call me."  With that, Brackett left.

The word wheelchair had earned a disgusted look, but Roy knew from his actions that something else was bothering Johnny.  "What are you thinking, John?"

"I'm the patient.  The discharge papers were for me.  So why did he give them to you?"

"I don't know, John.  You have them now.  Any surprises in them?"

"Naw.  I've gone through this enough times that I could dictate the discharge papers to them." Roy sat back down in the chair and the guys fell into small talk about the ranch until the nurse arrived.  Johnny visibly brightened at the thought of leaving the hospital.

The next day Johnny got up eager to go out to check on his horses, but Jennifer made him wait until she had breakfast for him and Jamie.  After they ate, Jamie begged to go too and Johnny agreed to take him.  Jennifer cleaned and dried the dishes and started a fresh pot of coffee.  When it had brewed, she poured a cup of coffee for her father and herself and went hunting for Roy.  She found him standing in the great room at the window looking outside.  "Daddy?"  Looking at her, he took the coffee and turned back to the window.  "Daddy, what's wrong?  You've been distant and quiet since you brought Johnny home from the hospital."

He looked long and hard at her, noting how her hair and eyes came from his side of the family.  The rest of her, including her ability to read his moods had to come from Joanne.  A feeling of loneliness and grief came over him as he thought of his dead wife.  He gave his mind a mental shake and corralled his emotions.  "Nothing's wrong, Jennifer.  Thanks for the coffee."

"Daddy, don't lie to me.  I'm an expert at lying.  I had years of training in it and I can spot someone lying fast.  So what is going on?"

Letting out a sigh, Roy took his coffee over to his recliner, sat down and waited until his daughter had arranged herself on the sofa.  "I got a call yesterday from Dr. Brackett.  He wanted me to sit in on a presentation about a clinical study dealing with brain damage therapy.  That's why I didn't come straight home this morning when I got off shift."

"I don't understand, Daddy.  Why get you involved in a clinical study?"

"Not me, Jennifer.  Johnny."

"Does Johnny know about this?"

"No. Not yet."

"Don't tell him."

"Why not?  There's a possibility the therapy they are proposing will aid him to strengthen his left side."

"That would be good.  I know how frustrated he is that his ankle gives out on him and he's forced to wear a brace."  She looked up with a smile on her face, but it quickly died as her eyes roamed over her father's face.  "Daddy…there's more.  Isn't there?"

"Yes.  There's a chance that the therapy will rewire Johnny's brain so that he will remember what happened to him."

"No! No!"  Jennifer jumped up, spilling her coffee as she advanced on her father.  "He can't be a part of this.  He's gone through too much.  You can't throw him back into that hell again!  I won't allow it!"

"You won't allow it?  Who do you think you are young lady, his keeper?  He's a grown man."  Roy found himself also on his feet, facing Jennifer.

She stood there pale of face and with fists clenched.  She had inherited her father's quick temper and she was gulping air in an effort to control it.  "You forgot.  I was his keeper for four years.  I took care of Johnny and protected him. Aren't you acting the same now?  Going around his back and talking about putting him through more hell just because clinical doctors want to experiment on him!  Who gives you that right?"

"Johnny did years ago, when he gave me power of attorney over him."

"And so you plan on making the decision to put Johnny in an experimental study?"

"Don't you think that decision should be mine, instead of both of yours?"  The sound of Johnny's voice shocked both of them and they turned toward the kitchen door.  He stood there leaning against the doorframe, holding onto Jamie's hand.  Looking down, he smiled at Jamie.  "Hey little friend, why don't you go out back and play with the puppies for a few minutes?  I need to talk to your mother and Grandpa Roy."

"Okay," replied the young boy as he loosened his hold on Johnny and ran to the back door. 

Looking back up, the smile left Johnny's face as he gazed at Roy and Jennifer. "Okay.  Fill me in.  Why were you arguing over me and what is this clinical study?"

Roy turned away to pace.  He was embarrassed to be caught by Johnny arguing with Jennifer.  What should he say and how much should he tell?  Looking over to his old friend, he observed how still Johnny stood, in direct contrast to the animated Johnny of ten years ago.  Roy fought a battle in his mind and the truth won.  Johnny deserved the respect of the truth.  "Okay, Johnny.  Sit down and I'll tell you what I was told."

As Jennifer moved to leave the room, Johnny spoke to her.  "Jenny Bean.  I want you to stay.  You need to hear the full story also."  They all sat down and Roy launched into his story of the meeting.  During his talk Jamie came in to announce that the puppies were sleeping and his mother suggested that a nap might do him some good also.  Jamie went around and gave a peck of a kiss on the cheeks of his grandfather and mother.  Johnny, however, got a tight hug before Jamie went running upstairs to his room.

Roy finished his narrative and looked at Johnny.  "John, this could go many ways.  You could say yes, go through with the therapy and come out of it in better physical condition and with some or all of your memory intact.  Or, you could have no improvement and are out the time and effort you put into it.  You could also be content with the life you have now and say no.  You gave me the right to make the decision years ago, but you're correct.  This is a decision you have to make."

"Johnny, please don't do it.  You went through torture those four years.  I would be grateful if I couldn't remember them.  I'm afraid of what those memories could do to you.  Please.  Don't say yes!"

Johnny sat back and looked at his friend and his daughter.  Thoughts of the possibilities raced through his mind and he looked at the pleading faces before him.  Roy wanted him to say yes and Jennifer wanted him to say no.  He felt both of them based their pleas on their concern for him.  He remembered the pride he had in Jennifer on her sixteenth birthday as she drove off in the Land Rover.  Then later the man had jumped into the Rover at the stoplight and forced Johnny to drive out into the desert.  He remembered nothing else until he woke up in ICU with Brackett standing over him and telling him the brain surgery to relieve the pressure was successful.  He was different afterward.  Physically, he had to learn to talk again.  He stuttered. His left side was weak and he had to wear a brace.  It was so different from the carefree life he had lived before when he was a firefighter/paramedic.  That life and that job were gone now.  So much of his life was missing.  Was it right to hurt either one of the two before him to try to reclaim even a part of it?

Continuing to gaze at them, his heart went out to Jennifer as he made his decision.  He wasn't going to be compliant; he was going to fight for his lost years.  "I say yes."

"Johnny!  You can't!  No!"  Jennifer jumped up and ran out of the room.  She ran upstairs and brought down Jamie in her arms, grabbed her keys and purse, and slammed the front door as she left the house.

Roy watched the sadness cross Johnny's face as he turned to look out the window.  The Land Rover was backing out of the driveway and speeding down the road.

********************

It was hard to drive with the tears streaming down her face, but Jennifer managed to keep the vehicle on the road as she fought to rein in her emotions.  She couldn't understand why Johnny would agree to such insanity or why her father was in such favor of it.  Her hands and feet, with instinct, piloted the vehicle to Jennifer's refuge, Chris, her only sibling.

Chris also had an ordeal he had lived through.  After the wreck that had killed his mother, Chris spent six hours in surgery in an attempt to save his leg.  On the third day in SICU, he spiked a fever and the damaged left leg lost circulation and gangrene set in.  Chris was rushed back to surgery and the leg below the knee was amputated.  While still in the hospital and healing, Chris told his Dad what he was planning to do.  With Roy's financial support, Chris called a lawyer and sued the trucking company and the estate of the driver of the blue sports car.  By the time Chris had gotten out of rehabilitation for learning to walk with an artificial limb, the court date was set.  When that day came, Roy was in court with his son.  The lawyer was good.  He brought in experts on the frayed strapping on the truck, medical experts on the damage to Chris and his mother, and witnesses who saw the accident.  The driving record was revealed on the blue sports car's driver.  He had five previous DWI's and the autopsy revealed that at the time of the wreck, his blood alcohol level was above the legal limit.  Chris won the case.  He walked away with enough awarded to him to buy a house, van, four years of college and still some left over for savings.  Of the siblings, Chris was the levelheaded one.  He graduated from college four years later with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration and Accounting.  He used some of his savings to set up his office and went into business as a CPA.

While growing up, Jennifer had always turned to her older brother during times of stress and this time was no different.  She pulled up to his office and taking Jamie in with her, she met Chris in his conference room.  "Hi, Uncle Chris," said Jamie, as he squirmed in his mother's arms.  Looking at his sister, Chris could tell her mood by her red-rimmed eyes and the tight hold she had on Jamie.  Taking his nephew from her arms, he reached over and poured water from a pitcher on the table into a glass.  Handing it to Jennifer, he invited her to sit and talk.

"Chris, I had an argument with Daddy over Johnny and I just had to get out of there for a while.  Could I stay with you?"

You know you're always welcome, Squirt.  But don't you think you need to patch this up with Dad first?"

"No, he's just being stubborn and unreasonable."

"What about Johnny?"

"Johnny walked in on Daddy and me arguing over whether he should join a clinical study on brain damage therapy that may bring back his memories. He took Daddy's side.  He just doesn't know what he's messing with."

"And you do?"

"I lived it.  It's a Pandora's box that does not need to be opened."

"Come on, Sis.  Cut the dramatics.  It can't be that bad.  You and Johnny got out and made it back home.  You've got a great son and a good relationship with Dad."

"Not right now.  Chris, can I just have a key to get into your house?  I'm tired and I interrupted Jamie's nap."

"Okay, Sis.  Here's a key.  Why don't you both take a nap?  I'll order something delivered tonight for dinner.  I believe you still have some clothes in the guest room from the last time you visited."

After Jennifer and Jamie left, Chris thought for a while and then went over to the phone and made a call.  "Dad?  Yeah.  It's good to hear you, too.  Yes, everything's fine.  Yes, the business is going well.  Ah…Dad.  I called to let you know that Jennifer and Jamie are staying with me.  Yes.  They're okay.  She's just upset.  Dad, can you tell me what happened?  Okay, I can get away.  I'll be there in thirty minutes.  It'll be good to see Uncle Johnny again."

Later that evening, Chris returned home in time to pay for the Chinese food he had ordered for delivery.  He had more of an understanding of the argument between Jennifer and Roy and the challenges that Johnny would be facing with therapy.

"Hi, Sis.  Did you get a chance to relax?"

"Yes.  Thanks."

"You think you're up to telling me what happened?"

"Yes, after we've eaten something."

Jennifer had never really opened up to anyone about her experiences while kidnapped.  When offered counseling by Dr. Brackett, she had adamantly refused.  She needed someone to understand why she didn't want Johnny to go through the clinical study.  After she bathed Jamie and got him in bed for the night, she went down the hallway to the great room.  Chris had started a fire in his fireplace and had a tall mug of hot chocolate for her and coffee for himself.  "Okay, Squirt. Talk."

Looking at her brother, who so much favored her father in looks, she remembered the times growing up when they had long talks.  Chris was always easy to talk to and had been able to help her solve her problems.  It was a shame he hadn't been available during her four year kidnapping experience.  Sipping her drink, she began talking. 

"Jack Kent was insane, cruel, and psychotic with an obsession for blonde-headed girls.  His intent was collecting his own harem.  He thought he could easily knock Johnny out and take me as his first prize.  Finding us handcuffed together brought out an evil streak in him.  That's when he first beat Johnny. Jack Kent enjoyed that vicious beating.  That was my fault and I've regretted my actions ever since then."

"Why did you handcuff Johnny to you?"

"I was teasing him about being my best date and that I was going to keep him forever.  I had hidden the key in the Land Rover earlier and would have freed him when we got to the movie.  I just didn't count on Jack Kent's interference."

"What happened after that?"

"He drove us into the mountains of Arizona to a cabin he had inherited from his grandfather.  Jack had gotten involved with drugs and joined a commune in northern California. He decided he wanted to start his own commune.  He also had some delusions that the blonde-headed people were superior to others.  He couldn't understand why I was handcuffed to an Indian and why I was concerned over Johnny being injured.  He was a racist and despised Indians."

"Why didn't you give him the key?"

"When things didn't go his way, Jack had a two-sided talk with himself.  I overheard him planning to kill Johnny as soon as he got us apart.  What I didn't expect was for Jack to attack me that night while I was still handcuffed to Johnny.  Johnny tried to protect me, but Jack took glee in beating him unconscious and then Jack finished what he started.  Chris, I lost my virginity that night, Jack Kent raped me!"  She started crying.

Chris knew as painful as this was, it was something that needed to come out.  His Dad had talked to Chris about his concern over Jennifer keeping her experiences bottled up.  He got up and walked over to his sister, sat down by her and held her as she grieved over the loss of her teen years.  Minutes later she stopped crying but still sniffled from the crying session.  "Jennifer, I know it hurts to talk about it, but you need to get it out of your system.  You've kept this closed up inside yourself for six years and it's eating away at you."

"I've felt so dirty, so filthy.  I was no longer pure and I was used goods.  I kept wondering why did I bring this onto myself.  Was it the way I was dressed that night, how I acted?  Why did he take me? Why me?"

"Sis, it wasn't you.  If you were guilty of anything, it was having blonde hair.  That's genetics, you can't help it.  You were a victim and you did nothing to bring this on yourself.  This man would have found some blonde girl.  You and Johnny just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"But I brought it onto Johnny.  You don't know what Jack did to Johnny and what he made me do to him. Every time we escaped from Jack he caught us and brought us back to something worse.  He had good tracking skills. He finally took to keeping Johnny weak by starvation, by drugs, and by chaining him.  I had to withhold food and water from Johnny to make him weak.  Jack made me put the drugs in his food the few times he allowed Johnny to eat just to see what they would do to Johnny.  I wanted to keep Johnny alive.  I begged Jack to let him live and I would do what he wanted.  I didn't realize what I was promising.  He figured out that he could control me by threatening Johnny.  He didn't want us escaping again, so he put a cot in the shed and installed hooks in the wall and ceiling.  He took Johnny out there and kept him chained for three years.  It took time before I convinced Jack that I would not run away and I would not free Johnny if he would just let me see him twice a week. 

Jack wanted me pregnant to start his commune. I quickly figured out my cycles and would get sick whenever I was fertile.  Who wants to bed a female who throws up on them?  After a year he decided that maybe another girl would start his commune and so he kidnapped another girl.  I had to run the household, do the gardening, sew the clothes, feed everyone, and be his slave.  I willingly did it as long as Johnny lived.  Each year Jack acquired another sixteen-year-old girl until he had five of us.  During one of those years one of the girls asked Jack why I was the only one not getting pregnant, so he started in on me again. He threatened me in another way.  He said if I didn't get pregnant in three months he would take Johnny into the woods and drown him in the creek.  I knew then that I had no choice, so I did.  You say that we were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I feel like that's been the story of my life."

"Jennifer, you're tired and depressed.  Why don't you go get some rest?  I don't have to go to the office tomorrow and I will be here if you want to talk."

"Okay, big brother.  I am tired.  I love you. Thanks for putting up with me."

"You're welcome.  Now scoot."

********************

Roy and Johnny were also talking that night.  Johnny had called Dr. Brackett and said he wanted to be part of the clinical study.  He would be meeting with the doctors the next week.  Roy was glad that Jennifer was safe at Chris's home, but he missed the sound of Jamie's running feet through the house.  Johnny was puzzled.  "Roy, I don't understand why Jennifer got so upset with you and me.  I thought she would be happy for me."

"Johnny, I've been doing some thinking and I think I know why."

"What?"

"Do you remember shortly after we bought this ranch and the horses, Kathy had a wreck down the road?"

"Yeah.  She was on the way down into the valley to the horse races and lost control of her truck and horse trailer due to an ice patch.  Jennifer came out and helped me with her until the paramedics came.  That sure was a beautiful thoroughbred she had in her trailer."

"I saw it the next day in the barn.  How did you manage to get it out of the trailer?  The police said it was a wild scared horse, but you got him out and in the barn."

"Something I learned growing up."

"Well, whatever it is, keep it up.  I read the article about you in Horses Monthly.  You're rated one of the top ten horse breeders in California."

"All because of Kathy and her stallion.  I had no idea that the horse would jump the high pasture fence to get to my mares.  I'm glad that Kathy decided to let me keep the fillies and colts in exchange for boarding her horse until she got out of the hospital.  That was the start of my bloodlines.  Roy, uh…Jennifer was really upset then also."

"That's what I've been thinking about.  She didn't like the way Kathy came onto you."

"What?"

"Johnny, Jennifer's had a crush on you ever since I brought you home when she was a little girl.  She never did like it when you brought one of your dates around.  I tried to explain to Jennifer that there was a large gap in your ages and you needed to date people your own age.  She wouldn't have it.  She said that she would grow up fast and you would wait for her."

With a small laugh, Johnny replied, "She once told me that and I teasingly told her that she would always be my best girl."

"Add a friend on the end of girl and you'll know how she feels about you."

"Girlfriend?"  Johnny squeaked out.

"During our argument she said she was your keeper for four years.  She doesn't think of you as Uncle Johnny.  She thinks of you as the man she loves."

"How could that be?  I don't know what happened during those years.  I love your girl as my little angel, not as my girlfriend."

"We're going to find out what happened during those missing years that you've forgotten.  And Johnny, when the time comes, let her down gently."

*******************

As the months passed, Jennifer and Jamie continued to stay with Chris.  Chris kept his Dad's schedule on the refrigerator.  Jennifer would arrive at the ranch an hour after Roy left for work.  She knew that Johnny still needed help on the accounting side of the business.  She had functioned as the office manager from the beginnings of his horse breeding business.  Even though she didn't agree with his decision, she still wanted to be near him.

They fell into a routine.  Johnny's therapy was on Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the morning.  If Roy was working, Jennifer would drive Johnny to Rampart and pick him up when it was over.  Jennifer would have to bite her lip to keep from commenting on how he looked when he got back into the Rover.  The therapy took a lot out of him and he looked pale, exhausted and would shake.  He never talked and was self-contained.  On those days she would go to the office while he dragged himself to his bedroom.

Then one day she noticed a change in him.  He came back to the Rover walking straight and he didn't seem as tired as before.  "What happened?"

"They took my brace away.  They said I'm strong enough to not need it."

"Oh Johnny.  I'm so happy for you."  She reached out and grabbed his hand.

He looked down at their entwined fingers and he heard again Roy's opinion on Jennifer's love for him.  Quietly and slowly he loosened her hand and placed it on the steering wheel.  "You're going to need that to drive."  Then he turned to look out the passenger window in an effort to cut off communication.  They were silent on the rest of the way home, him thinking of the future and she in puzzlement.

*******************

Once again Roy got a call from Dr. Kel Brackett at the Station house.  "Hi, Doc."

"Roy, can you come see me when you get off your shift?"

"I'm off now.  I was just getting changed to go get Johnny."

"We've called Johnny and canceled his appointment for this morning.  We needed to talk to you first."

"Okay.  I'm on my way." 

When Roy got to Rampart, he once again headed to Kel Brackett's office by way of the ER entrance.  His steps slowed down when he saw a familiar face behind the nurse's station.  "Dixie, it's good to see you again."

"Hi, Roy.  It's been a long time."

"Are you back for good?"

"No, just temporarily.  Pam is out having her baby and I'm filling in until she comes back from maternity leave.  What are you doing here, Captain DeSoto?"

"I've got a meeting with Brackett and I'm late."

"Tell Kel that he had better not forget he's taking me to lunch today."

As Roy walked into the administrative office, Stella greeted him warmly and took him to the conference room.  He found Doctors Brackett and Brice waiting for him.

"Hi, Kel.  Your luncheon date downstairs said to not forget her."

"I see you found Dixie."

"Yeah.  She still looks good."

"Well, she's not the only one looking good.  We're releasing your partner from occupational therapy."

"I'm glad to hear that.  I've noticed a difference in him lately.  He has more confidence in himself."

"We want to increase that confidence.  I understand that Jennifer is driving Johnny's Land Rover."

"Yes.  She's been using it since we got them back from Arizona."

"The next step is getting Johnny driving again and it's going to be important that he is driving the Land Rover."

Roy rubbed his chin.  "Doc, she won't talk to me.  She hangs up the phone every time I call.  She's been against this therapy from the beginning and she blames me for Johnny's decision."

"Well, until you can think of a way to convince her to give up the Land Rover, I need you to work with Johnny on driving again.  He needs his driver's license re-instated."

"Doc, exactly what comes next?"

"Let me answer that, Kel."

"Roy, Dr. Wyatt has done his part in working with Johnny in regaining his strength.  Now it's my turn to work on his brain."

Turning to Dr. Darrell Brice, Roy gave him his full attention.  "How?"

"There are more tests available than there were six years ago.  We've run Johnny through them and all the results came back negative.  Johnny's memories are blocked because subconsciously, he is blocking them."

"Wow.  I've wondered."

"From what we've gotten from his records and what he has told us that he remembers, we believe the key to his lost memories is the Land Rover and your daughter, Jennifer."

"So how do you unlock his memories?"

"Once he is driving the Land Rover again, we propose that he re-enact what happened to him up until he no longer remembers."

"You mean take Jennifer on her sixteenth birthday date again?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Not as long as Johnny retains control over his environment and situation. We intend to give him all the tools to have that control."

"I don't think Jennifer is going to go along with it."

"We hope by that time she will be more willing.  There's been some progress with her since she's been living with your son, Chris."

"Huh.  How did you know that?"

"Chris came to us asking for help with her.  He knew that she also has been having troubles with the past.  She's opened up some with Chris and he wanted to help her without harming her.  We have been guiding him on their talks.  As such, we have a sub file on Jennifer and we are charting her progress."

"A sub file?"

"This study takes in the key people of the patient.  We have sub files on you, Chris, Jennifer and Jamie in Johnny's file."

"I'm not sure I like that."

"Chris has seen his file.  Would you like to see yours?"

"Yes."

Taking a file out of the folder he carried, Dr. Brice passed it to Roy and waited while Roy perused the contents.  Giving it back, Roy replied, "It seems benign.  You don't have much in it."

"For this, we don't need much, just the basic relationship."

"What about Jamie?"

"That's a puzzle.  He's Jennifer's child and he came back from Arizona with them.  Johnny thinks of and treats him like a great-nephew."

"That's because he's been led by Jennifer to think that."

"Oh?"

"I was there when Jamie was born and got a chance to look him over carefully.  Jennifer doesn't realize I know, but Jamie is Johnny's son."

"We wondered because of his hair color and his skin coloring, but we didn't know what was Jack Kent's features."

"He was brown-headed with green eyes.  There's another piece of evidence - Jamie's birth certificate.  With Jennifer's knowledge, I ordered a copy of his birth records years ago to give to Rampart.  His birth certificate was in them.  I took it out and have it in my safe at home.  I was hoping that Jennifer would have told Johnny by now, but she hasn't."

"I would like a copy of that certificate."

"Okay."

At this time, Kel Brackett took over the conversation.  "Roy, there's something else that will be needed and you're the one with the contacts to get them."

"What's that, Doc?"

"We need copies of the pictures the Arizona police took of the commune area where Jack Kent kept Jennifer and Johnny.  Those will be the before pictures.  We also need current pictures of the same shots.  I know that look, Roy.  Hear me out.  We will use the pictures only if our first plan doesn't work.  The pictures are our last attempt to jolt Johnny's memories."

"Okay Doc.  I'll get the pictures.  I want Johnny to remember, but I don't want him hurt."

"Roy, I think he has the strength and confidence in himself now to handle it."

Roy left the meeting in deep thought.  He traveled downtown to the administrative offices to put in for three days vacation.  While there he called the airlines and made arrangements for his flight.  He also called Chris at his office and asked him to meet Johnny and Roy out at the ranch.

When the three men got together, Roy told them that he was going on a plane trip and would be gone for three days.  He told them of his meeting with the doctors and how they wanted Johnny to learn to drive again.  It had been suggested that it would be easier for Johnny to drive the vehicle he had driven for years - the Land Rover.

Johnny was reluctant to take the Rover back, thus leaving Jennifer with no transportation.

Chris was the first to suggest getting Jennifer another vehicle.  Roy was delighted and offered to pay for the car.  By the time the conversation was over, it was agreed that each would pay one third of the cost.  Chris and Johnny would find the car and deliver it to the ranch for Jennifer to pick up.  Roy left the two making their plans as he went to his bedroom to make one last phone call.  He waited patiently until the Arizona Police Department tracked down Detective James Thom. 

"Detective Thom, I'm Roy DeSoto.  You worked with me on my daughter and partner's kidnapping six years ago.  Yes. Yes, the blond sixteen-year-old girls case.  Well, I'm flying out there tomorrow to take some pictures and I need to ask a favor.  Johnny Gage, my partner, is in therapy to regain his memories of that time.  The doctors think the original photos that the Police Department took of Jack Kent's commune may help in the process.  Is there a possibility I could have copies of those photos?"

Roy listened and was put on hold while James talked to someone else.  When James got back on the line, the answer was yes.  Roy quickly finished with the phone call and went to prepare for his trip.

In three days Roy was back and had delivered the original photocopies and his camera film to Rampart Hospital.  While he was gone Jennifer's new car was delivered to the ranch.  She was ecstatic over the gift from her successful brother and was very happy to park the Land Rover out behind the barn.

When Roy came home from the hospital he looked throughout the ranch house searching for Johnny.  Not finding him, he walked out to the barn, followed by three half-grown puppies.  He was amused by their rough and tumble activities.  Opening the barn door, he looked through the stalls and again didn't find Johnny.  Rubbing his neck and gazing out the door, he heard a loud bang on the backside of the barn.  Hurrying to the back, he found Johnny with part of his body inside the hood of the Land Rover and a rubber mallet leaning against the barn wall.

"Having some difficulties, Johnny?"

Johnny's head popped up barely missing the top of the hood.  Frowning at his partner, Johnny's reply was one word, "Women!"

"Huh?"

"You would think if Jennifer was going to drive the Land Rover, she would take care of it.  It needs the oil, filters, transmission fluid and spark plugs changed.  I'm going to have to check it over carefully and fix it back up before I can practice driving again."

"Well, I have the rest of the day free.  Why don't we go get the parts you need?"

"Great.  Let me get cleaned up and we'll go."

It took most of the week for Johnny to get the Land Rover fixed to his standards.  Roy had not seen Johnny this happy for a long time.  The next week Johnny started driving the Rover in the pastures.  Roy picked up a driver's test manual at the Department of Public Safety; with Roy's help Johnny would study it at night.

Johnny still had one problem with his past ordeal - he had difficulty reading certain words.  He was learning to sound out the words phonetically.  Within the week, Johnny announced that he was ready to take the test.  Roy took him down and Johnny came away with his license.  He insisted on driving back to the ranch.  Halfway home Roy relaxed as he observed that Johnny drove the Rover as if it was an extension of him.

*******************

Chris had been trying to keep his weight down and had managed to lose twenty pounds.  Unfortunately, that caused trouble with his artificial limb.  He had made an appointment to have it adjusted, but knew that he couldn't drive with it.  He waited until Jennifer had come back from the ranch to talk to her.  "Hey Sis, are you free tomorrow?"

"Yes.  Daddy's off shift and will be at the ranch."

"When are you going to make up with Dad?"

"Chris, he was wrong."

"I'm not so sure of that."

"Why?  Have you been talking to him?"

"More like talking to Johnny."

"About what?"

"About what's happening to him. Jennifer, he's closer to being the Uncle Johnny we grew up with.  He got his driver's license yesterday.  I could hear the joy in his voice when he told me."

"Whose idea was that?"

"Johnny's.  He's been practicing driving out in the pasture."

"I don't like it."

"Jennifer, look at me."  Chris reached down and pulled up his pant's leg and unfastened his artificial leg.  He pulled off the padding and stocking over his stump.  She could see the redness and irritation where his limb had rubbed.  "This is why I need you tomorrow.  I have an appointment to have this adjusted so I can continue on with my life.  I can't drive with this leg as it is.  I'm not a whole man.  I had something taken away from me that I would give anything to get back.  But Sis, this plastic leg is going to be the best that I can have.  This is as close to whole as I can ever be.  Uncle Johnny and you are whole in body, but you both had something taken away from you.  You had your virginity taken forcibly and you made the best you could of a bad situation.  You got a great boy from it and I'm glad he's Johnny's son.

Jennifer gasped,  "How did you know?"

"I suspected and you just confirmed it.  Sis, I can't imagine all that you went through.  But I can appreciate that you had to make a decision and you made the right one.  Johnny has lost his memories and won't feel like he's a whole man until he gets them back.  He also is making a decision.  Allow him that choice.  Allow him to be a man."

"I can't Chris.  He can't remember."

"Is it because of what he did or what you did, Sis?"

Her angered look was the only answer he got as she twirled and hurried out of the room.  Chris thought for a long time and then reached over to the phone and made a call.  "Doc.  Chris DeSoto.  Yeah.  It's time."

The next morning Jennifer came downstairs as if nothing had happened.  She took Chris to his appointment and she and Jamie brought him home.

*******************

Johnny had an appointment with Dr. Brackett and Dr. Brice as part of the therapy study and he drove himself to Rampart.  He came out of the hospital hours later with hope, fear, and resolve running through his brain.  The action the doctors had outlined was risky, but he was willing to chance it to regain his memories.  They had given him two sealed envelopes with the instructions to put them into the Land Rover.  One could be opened only if, at the end of the plan, his memories did not return.  The other had to be opened if his memories returned.  On his way back to the ranch he made a stop at a pawnshop, made a purchase and went on his way.  When he got home he checked the calendar.  He wanted to be sure Roy was off shift when he followed the doctors' instructions, just in case.

Roy would come off shift the next morning so Johnny took a chance and called Roy at Station 41.  He shared the instructions he had received and asked if Roy would be available the next afternoon.  Johnny could tell from Roy's tone that he had reservations, but he agreed to be on standby.

The next morning Johnny called Jennifer and asked if he could show her something that afternoon.  He requested she get a babysitter for Jamie.  She was curious and when she repeated babysitter she saw Chris raise his hand and point to his own chest.  She made arrangements with Johnny to meet at the ranch.

When she drove up she saw Roy's pickup in the driveway.  She stayed in her car until Johnny came out of the house.  "Come on, Jennifer.  We're going in the Land Rover and I'm driving."  He led her to the barn where they both got in and drove away. 

Roy was upstairs at the window and watched as they drove off.  A shiver ran down his spine and he said a silent prayer that by evening his old partner and his daughter would be returned to him whole.  Minutes later he heard a vehicle drive up and park.  Looking out, he saw Jamie and Chris slowly walking up to the door.  He opened the door and greeted his son. "Hi, Chris."

"Hi, Dad.  I thought it would be easier to wait this out with you."

"So you know what's going on?"

"I've been working with Brackett.  After my talk with Sis the other night, I called him and told him it was time."

"Come on in son and let me get you something to drink.  It's going to be a long wait."

*******************

Johnny drove with confidence and hope.  Jennifer glanced over at him and noticed the difference.  His demeanor and stance brought her back to how he used to look.  Curiosity consuming her she asked, "Johnny, where are we going?"

"You will find out when we get there."  He drove into LA and headed to the old neighborhood that Roy used to live in with his family.  Johnny slowed down and he saluted the house where she formerly lived as a child.

"Wow, Johnny it still looks the same.  I always enjoyed that old house."

"Yes, it holds memories for me, too - barbecues in the backyard and a blonde-headed little spitfire female flying down the sidewalk to jump in my arms."  Her blush earned a chuckle from him.  She watched out the window as he followed the route of their last date.

He watched carefully for traffic as they came upon the four-way stop intersection. With no one behind him, he pulled out his purchase, reached over and grabbed her left wrist.  He snapped the handcuff on her and quickly applied it to his right wrist.

"Johnny, what are you doing?"

Looking at her, he gave her the only answer he intended to give.  "We are going to re-live our date."  He watched as a range of emotions crossed her face.  Fear was what finally settled on her features.

"Johnny, please don't do this.  You don't know what you're doing."

"Yes, I do.  Why, Jennifer?  Why do you fear this?  What happened that is so terrible that I shouldn't remember it?  What did I do?"

"I'm not going to answer that.  Let's just go home."

"No, Jennifer.  We are going to see this through."

"Johnny, please!"

"No, Jennifer.  Just enjoy the scenery.  We've got a ways to go."

Johnny kept driving and retracing the route that he remembered so well.  He pulled up to another intersection and heard Jennifer's quiet voice.  "This is where Jack Kent came into our lives.  I wish that day had never happened."

Johnny was quiet as he drove.  Soon they were out of LA and headed for the desert.  She grew fearful again and started begging, "Johnny, please don't do this.  For me!"

"It's for you and me that we have to finish this.  Maybe I'll regain my memory or maybe I won't, but I've got to try.  Jennifer it's important to me.  I won't feel whole until I do."

"That's what Chris said."

"He should know.  He's had to walk his own road of sorrow."

"Until recently, I didn't know what happened to him or Mom.  Chris told me.  I never got to tell her goodbye and that I loved her."

"She loved you, Jennifer, and she's with you still in your heart and in your memories of her.  You know her last thoughts were of you.  She knew you would be coming back home."

"How do you know?"

"You aren't the only one who misses your mom.  Roy and I have had some long talks, some much-needed talks on his part.  It took three years after we came back for him to start talking of those missing years and what Chris and he went through while we were gone.  For four years he kept your room exactly like you left it because Joanne asked him to.  It was difficult to stay in that house with all those memories of Joanne and you.  He lived on hope and searched for us.  He hired private detectives to find us.  When he saw the Land Rover and saw your signature Jenny Bean-Gage on the sales papers, he knew we were alive and hadn't dropped off the face of the earth."

"I didn't know, Johnny."

"That was because you didn't ask, Jenny Bean.  You withdrew from the real world and your world became the ranch, Jamie and me."  He had hoped to distract Jennifer by talking and he had been successful.  He had driven as far as he could with the memories he had.  He stopped the vehicle, turned off the motor and looked around.  Glancing at Jennifer he saw fear in her eyes. He waited patiently until the tension oozed from her muscles and calmness descended on her.  "Jennifer, I need to know.  What happened next?"

Her eyes roved over his face searching for his mood and then she spoke in a monotone, "He reached over the back seat and hit you twice.  He came around to pull you out and he found the handcuffs.  He searched for something to cut them off.  He wanted to leave you here to die.  He didn't find anything, so he dragged us out of the front, picked you up and put you in the back seat.  I crawled over you and bandaged you.  I could reach your first-aid bag.  He got into the front seat and drove off to Arizona."  She stopped talking and looked away.  He waited but she was mute.

"Jennifer?"

"I'm not going to tell you anything else.  I've spent the last six years trying to forget. I don't want to remember."  She got agitated and rubbed her wrist.  "Take this off, please."

He hadn't remembered anything as of yet.  He saw no reason to keep her a captive to his needs, so he took the key out of his pocket and released their wrists.  Reaching over to the passenger side, he drew out two envelopes from the shelf in front of Jennifer.  "You may not want to remember, but I do."  He got out of the vehicle and trudged up a nearby sand dune and went over the summit.  Sitting down in the sand he put down the second envelope and slowly opened the first one.  His hand shook as he ripped it open and drew out the first picture.  Slowly he went through each picture, studying each one closely until he got to the last one.  It showed the corner of the shed where he had been held captive for three years.  The cot had four restraints attached to it and the wall had high hooks embedded in them.  As he searched the picture something clicked in his brain and memories rushed at him like wild dogs chasing prey. 

He dropped the pictures and reached up to grab his head in an effort to slow down the speed of memories.  A moan escaped his lips as he rocked back and forth.  His emotions started building slowly and then they spewed forth like a volcano erupting with pent up fury and he screamed.

Jennifer heard the anguish in his scream and it triggered her caring side.  She staggered as she left the vehicle and climbed the sand dune.  Spotting him halfway down the side, she rushed to him and threw her arms around him.  Looking up at her with tears streaming down his face, Johnny announced, "I remember Jennifer.  I remember.  How did we survive what he did to us?"

"I don't know Johnny, but we did.  How much do you remember?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"  She started drawing away from him.  "Everything?"

He grabbed her arms and brought her back down beside him.  "I remember it all, Jennifer, including what you did. I didn't understand at the time why you drugged and restrained me, but I didn't know what kind of pressures you were under.  I thought I dreamed it and I was ashamed of even subconsciously thinking of doing that to you. I couldn't escape so for months afterwards, I thought of how to get outside attention.  My final plan was for you to sell the Rover.  He had to take you with him and someone would notice you.  The way he kept you away from me and with the drugs he was using on me, I didn't know you were pregnant or close to delivery.  I couldn't talk but was able to get one of the girls to get me pencil and paper.  I was too weak to write much; all I could put down was 'sell rover.'

"She brought it to me without Jack's knowledge. We needed the money.  We were running out of supplies and it was just what Jack Kent needed to get funds."

"And luckily your Dad was in town and spotted the Land Rover."

There was silence between the two as they sat beside each other thinking of the past.  Johnny looked over at Jennifer and asked, "Jamie. He's my son, isn't he?"

Looking at his face, she bit her lower lip.

He continued, "You only came to me that way once, but it was enough to get you pregnant.  Jamie is a great kid and I would be proud to be his father.  Why did you do it Jennifer?  You were my little Jenny Bean.  I wouldn't have done that to you if I hadn't been drugged."

Johnny knew what she had done.  He needed to know why.  "Johnny, Jack wouldn't leave me alone.  The guy was crazy.  I noticed when the other girls got pregnant he would turn away from them.  I had been tracking my cycles and had avoided him.  He figured it out and threatened to kill you.  I didn't want his child; I would have hated it.  I had discovered where he kept the drugs and one day I caught him going away to hunt.  To keep me there he always kept you chained to the bed."  She paused to chew on her lip.  "Johnny, I drugged and restrained you because I knew you would fight me. I was fertile.  I have always loved you and if I had to get pregnant, I wanted the baby to be yours, not his.  I'm so sorry Johnny."  She got up and made her way back to the Land Rover.

He sat and stared over the desert landscape.  After collecting his thoughts, he picked up the scattered pictures and stuffed them back in their envelope.  Pushing himself up, he saw the second envelope half-buried in the sand.  The label said to be opened by both Jennifer and John.  He didn't know if he could stand another shock, but they needed privacy to view the contents and this was the time.  He went back to the vehicle to find Jennifer in the passenger seat.  Taking her hand, he ignored her tear-streaked face.  "We have one more thing to do before we leave.  We have to open this last envelope together."

Her big eyes just stared back at him.  He opened the package and withdrew pictures and a letter.  It read, "John and Jennifer.  Roy took these pictures when he went on his trip to Arizona recently.  We asked him to take these after pictures to show you that time does pass and wounds do heal.  I want to see you both in my office at noon the day after you view them.  It's time to start your joint therapy.  Dr. Brice will be there. Yours, Kel Brackett."

Roy must have stood in one spot and taken the shots in a circle around him.  The tree trunks were blackened and the cabin and shed were piles of burned and black timbers.  Enough time had passed since the wildfire to encourage the growth of lush grasses and brilliant wildflowers around the piles. The last two pictures were of the Arizona maximum prison and a prison garbed man behind a glass wall. They both recognized Jack Kent.

They were silent as Johnny returned the pictures and letter to the envelope and started the vehicle.  They didn't look back as he made their way toward the lights of LA.  The approaching darkness of night was a kindness to their troubled minds and tired bodies. 

When they pulled up into the driveway of the ranch, they weren't surprised to see Chris's parked van.  Going into the house, Johnny went to a sleeping Jamie, picked up the boy and held him lovingly.  Jennifer went to her father, hugged him, and cried softly into his chest as his arms cradled her waist.

That night Roy took Johnny into his bedroom and opened his safe.  Drawing out the paperwork, he gave Johnny the proceeds from the selling of his ranch so many years before.  Johnny looked over what he had in his hands and gave them back to Roy.  "Let's just save that for the future, okay Pally?"

"No problem, John."

*******************

Three months later Johnny sought out Roy down at the pond.  Roy had taken his grandson fishing.  Jennifer still lived with Chris but would bring Jamie by for visits.

"Roy, do you remember when you told me that Jennifer loved me and you asked me to let her down gently?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about that conversation."  Johnny had sat down by Roy when he first approached, but now he shot back up and stood fidgeting with a rock he had picked up.

Roy looked up and appraised his friend.  The old Johnny was back or he was very nervous.  The man could not be still. Roy never liked a totally still and quiet Johnny.  Since Jennifer and Johnny had gone through the joint therapy with Dr. Brice, Roy had seen changes in both of them for the better.  Grinning to himself, Roy wondered where this conversation was going to go.  He waited for Johnny to continue, but decided that some prodding was needed.  "And?"

"What?"

"You were saying that you had been thinking?"

"Oh. Yeah.  Ah… Roy, I have something I need to ask you."  Johnny was bringing a small jewelry box out of his pants pocket.

Roy eyed the box and cocked an eye at Johnny.  "If you plan on asking me to marry you, the answer is no."  Roy laughed as he saw Johnny blush and start to stammer.  "What is it you want, John?"

Johnny started several times and finally got his request out.  "Your permission to give this to your daughter."

Roy took the box from Johnny and looked over the rings inside.  Both the engagement and wedding rings were unique with small stones and Indian style carvings entwined through the stones.  "I think Jennifer will like these.  You have my permission, friend."

Johnny abruptly turned and hurried across the pasture.  Roy grinned as he heard the Land Rover start up and rapidly leave. He had better check his bank balance; he had a wedding to pay for.

*******************

Johnny pulled up in the driveway and hurried to the house.  Knocking on the door he waited impatiently.  Jennifer answered.  Johnny reached out, grabbed her arm and pulled.  "Come on Jennifer.  I have something to show you."

"Johnny, the last time you said that, I got handcuffs on me."

"Not this time.  But I will kidnap you, if you don't."

Looking at his crooked grin, she reached back in and got her purse as she pulled the door shut and walked out.

While they had been undergoing joint therapy, they had formed a habit of visiting a nearby park and feeding the ducks.  Through their walking and talking, Johnny grew to appreciate Jennifer as a woman and recently realized that he loved her on an adult level.

He took her to their park and walked with her down to the pond.  He sat her down on their bench, kneeled down on one knee and proposed.  Her squeal of delight preceded her reply of yes.

In three months the outside wedding took place at the ranch.  Some of Jennifer's old high school friends came, as well as various fire department and hospital friends of Johnny and Roy.  The entire crew that had worked with the guys at Station 51 was there.  After the wedding, Roy threw a barbecue for all the guests.  He was pleased to see Chet and Johnny had fallen easily into their teasing banter of one-upmanship.  This provided good entertainment until Jennifer came out of the house dressed to leave.  Johnny excused himself, went and changed, and was ready to join her in minutes.  Chet made a few snide comments about being an eager beaver prompting all of the Station 51 alumni to say the same thing at once, "Shut up, Chet!"

*******************

Four months later, Jennifer took her hot herbal tea with her as she went out onto the back deck.  She sat down and watched as the four men in her life were saddling up their horses for riding.  Roy helped Chris into his saddle as Johnny lifted his son onto his pony. Swinging into their saddles at the same time, Roy and Johnny turned and waved at her as all four rode away.

It was quiet with only the songs of the birds to disturb her.  Her thoughts drifted back over the years and she realized that her dream wish that she had during childhood had come true.  She was surrounded by love from the men who loved her - her father, brother, husband and her son.  Her hand massaged gently her cantaloupe-sized abdomen and she hoped that this child was a girl.  She needed help in keeping her men in line.

I give special thanks to my sister, Naomi, for grading my work and to my beta reader, Jamie, for expressing her honest opinions.  LaJuan

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