Henry the Lazy Bassett Hound

By Audrey W.
*Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer


Henry the lazy Bassett Hound
Had a very comfy couch
And since he never left it
He was known as just a slouch


All of the station's firemen
Tried to get him off to play
But since they couldn’t do it
He would never change his way


Then one chilly Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Henry, with your eyes so brown
Won’t you help me with this town


Then all the firemen wondered
What Henry’d seen from the couch
As they opened Santa’s presents
Delivered by their station slouch

God Rest Ye Merry Firemen

By E!lf

God rest ye merry firemen
Let nothing you dismay!
When fanfic writers torture you
We only mean to play

Because we want to cuddle you
And help you get okay!
O! Tidings of comfort and joy!
(Hurt/comfort and joy!)
O! Tidings of comfort and joy!
 

Johnny Got Run Over by a Reindeer
By Liz T. and Purry

Johnny got run over by a reindeer,
Camping in the woods north of Van Nuys.
Only he could have such a thing happen
Yes, it's really normal, ask the guys.

He'd been soaked with one too many water bombs

and we begged the Phantom to please just stop
but he said Gage was such an easy pigeon
So Johnny ran out the door and dropped the mop

When A-Shift found him Christmas morning
at the scene of the inconceivable
there were lots of empty buckets
the evidence against Chet was unbelievable

That's why,

Johnny got run over by a reindeer,
Camping in the woods north of Van Nuys.
Only he could have such a thing happen
Yes, it's really normal, ask the guys.

Sung to the tune of The Christmas Song

By Purry

Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire
Cap's bellow rips down to his toe
Wet water spots being mopped up by the crew
and Johnny dresses in dryer clothes

Everybody knows a pigeon
and some well placed bombs
help to make his shift-time blight
Tiny dots with colors all a glow
as he fights to stay conscience tonight

He knows that Squad 18 is on their way
to take Johnny down to Rampart Bay
Where every nurse he has tried to date
will jump to be the first to sedate

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
to the Phantom of Station 51
although it's been said
many times many ways
Chet Kelly latrine duty for you tonight