One Lump or Two?

By E51Writer

The men of Station 51 sat around the table. Their coffee cups were full and their moods were light.

“How much coffee do you think we’ve drank in the past 5 years?” Chet’s mind was trying to do the math.

“Drank or poured? I bet for every 3 we’ve poured, we’ve had to leave one untouched ‘cause the klaxons sounded.” Roy was doing the math and subtracting out the wasted cups.

“How much sugar have we used?” It was Gage’s turn to ponder the crew’s coffee habits.

“Depends.” Mike considered that a full sentence.

The men sat looking at Mike, waiting for more. Finally, Marco asked the question all the men were wondering about. “On what, Mike?”

“One lump or two?”

The klaxons sounded. “Damn, Roy, you better change your equation. This is the third cup I’ve had to leave today.” Chet shook his head in dismay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The men filed back into the dayroom after returning from their response.

“All this coffee wasted for a trash fire.” Chet was still shaking his head as he emptied the cups.

“And the sugar.” Mike sat down. “Roy – 1, Marco – 2, Chet – 2, Cap – none, me – 1, Gage –? Hey Gage, one lump or two?”

“One…or two.” Gage laughed as he left the room.

Chet rolled his eyes…and shook his head.

The rest of the shift was uneventful and the men were glad to be having a couple days off. As they headed for their cars, Roy noticed Johnny was walking a bit stiffly. He said nothing. He just figured the damp weather of the past couple days was bothering those often broken legs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny was miserable. He could find no explanation for the pain he was experiencing. When he returned from his regular 3-mile run shortly after the shift ended, he was sure he’d somehow strained a muscle in his upper thigh/hip area. He certainly didn’t remember doing anything to pull it. In fact, it had started bothering him before he’d left the station.

**Better ice it. Man, I don’t have time for this. I’ve gotta go help Roy with the shed this afternoon.**

The ice did nothing to help the tight feeling at the bend of his leg. Neither did stretching. Putting the uncomfortable feeling aside, he showered and headed to Roy’s.

“Hey, Junior, what’s wrong with your leg?”

“I don’t know, Roy, I don’t know. It just feels kinda weird. I tried ice but it didn’t do a thing.”

“If you don’t want to work on the shed…”

“Oh no, you don’t. You’re not going to use me as an excuse, mister. Joanne will have both our hides if we don’t get this mess cleaned up.” A crooked smile crossed Johnny’s face. “Of course, I may have to take it a bit slower than you but we’ll get it done.”

“We, huh? WE? Remember that Junior, WE will do it.” Roy threw Chris’ baseball glove at Johnny.

“Uh!” Johnny sucked in a painful breath. “Damn, turning like that wasn’t a good idea.”

Roy was at Johnny’s side in a heartbeat. “Johnny, I’m sorry. Here, you’d better sit down.”

“Nope – I’ll walk it off while you go start on the shed.” Johnny smiled again.

As he walked away, Roy mumbled something. Johnny wasn’t quite sure but it sounded like “I’m glad it hurt…sure, WE’ll do it.” Last time Johnny looked, Roy was still shaking his head and mumbling.

It took 3 hours but the shed was repaired and everything was back in its proper place. Both men sat sipping a beer and admiring their handiwork when Joanne stepped out onto the deck.

“How about steaks on the grill for dinner? You guys deserve some sort of reward.”

It was going to be a good night. That is, until it came time for Johnny to get up. He’d been sitting with his legs stretched out while he drank his beer. As he pulled his knees in, a sharp pain almost blinded him. Again, he gasped in pain.

“Johnny! What’s wrong? Let me look at your leg.”

Johnny frowned. “Nah, Roy. I just hurt it on my run this morning.”

“Bullshit. I saw you limping as you left the station. Now let me see your leg.”

“Okay, Doctor. But you won’t find anything.”

Roy ignored the comment. He knew it must be bad if Johnny was willing to let him look at it. Roy did his best paramedic assessment but could find nothing. No pain when palpated, no deformity, no discoloration. Well, at least no discoloration that he could see before Johnny realized that Roy was pulling his sweats down to look at the area and knocked his hands out of the way.

“What the hell are you doing, Roy? We’re in your backyard for God’s sake!’

“And someone seeing me looking at you is worse than them seeing me feel you in that area, how?”

Johnny looked to the side and saw Chris’ glove laying beside the lounge chair. In one quick motion, Johnny picked it up and winged it at Roy. In one quick moment, he was sorry he did. Roy’s laughing caused him to miss Johnny’s gasp this time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny cursed the alarm clock. He hadn’t done anything since leaving Roy’s 2 days earlier. His leg didn’t bother him all the time. But when it did, it did. He gingerly got out of bed. **No pain! That’s good.** He walked around the room. Still feeling good, he took a shower. **Maybe it’s gone. A day of doing nothing is good for the soul – and the leg apparently.**

Johnny was happy as he drove to the station. He and Roy pulled in at the same time. Roy was out of his car and next to Johnny’s before Johnny had put the Rover into park.

“How’s the leg, Johnny.”

“Pretty good, Roy, pretty good.” Roy took a step backward and opened the door for Johnny. When Johnny stepped out of the Rover, he cringed. “Damn, I thought it was all gone. Guess not.”

“You okay for duty, Johnny? We can go in and have Cap call for a replacement.”

“No, Roy. I’ll shake it off. If it doesn’t get better, I’ll let Cap know.”

Roy wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about waiting but he agreed. He knew his partner would never do anything to jeopardize the safety of Roy or himself. Still…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the morning progressed, Johnny noticed his leg feeling ‘tired’. He also noted that there was some slight swelling. **Finally, something to show for all this discomfort. I should probably say something to Roy. And to Cap.**

As if on cue, the klaxons sounded.

“Station 51, accident corner of LaBrea and Wilcox. LaBrea and Wilcox. Time out 9:17.”

“Station 51. KMG365.”

As the squad pulled out of the station, Roy cast a sideways glance at his partner. The glance did not go unnoticed. Gage was just glad that it wasn’t a fire they were responding to. He wasn’t sure that he could back up his partner. He’d have to tell Cap to find a replacement.

“Roy, I’ll have Cap call for a replacement. This run will be fine.”

“You sure, Junior? You can stay in the squad…”

“Argh!” Johnny winced.

“Johnny?” Roy continued driving but he was paying more attention to his hurting partner than to the road. “Johnny?” The lack of response from Johnny worried him even more.

Johnny finally was able to straighten his leg and relieve some of the pain.

“Damnit! That was like a red, hot knife right here.” Johnny put his fingers on the bend between his pelvis and upper thigh. “Shit!”

“What?”

“It’s swollen, Roy. I can feel some swelling. I mean it was a bit swollen earlier but it’s more swollen now.”

The squad rolled to a stop at the accident.

“Stay in the squad.” Roy was cut off before he could say any more.

“No. I can do this. It’s not like we’re going into a burning building.” Roy’s head turned at that statement. “You know I’d never do that to you, right Roy? I’d never put you in danger. That’s why I’m gonna have Cap call a replacement.”

Roy nodded his head. Of course, he knew that Johnny would never put him in danger. At least not intentionally.

A survey of the scene revealed no serious injuries, no need to go to Rampart. The scene was cleared with minimal effort and the squad and engine headed back to the station.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chet, Marco, and Mike headed into the dayroom – straight for the coffee.

Johnny stopped Cap and asked to talk with him in his office. Roy followed.

“Cap, I need you to call a replacement for me.”

“You sick, Pal?”

“No. It’s my leg.”

“Were you hurt at the accident, Johnny? I didn’t see…”

“No. No, Cap. It started hurting – really just aching – last shift. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it hurts like hell.” Johnny was not happy.

“And it’s swelling.” Roy added that missing bit of information.

“Swelling? Do I need to stand down the squad? It will probably be a couple hours before we can get a replacement.”

“No, Cap. I…” Johnny looked at Roy then back at Cap. “I know I can’t back Roy up in a fire. But, I should be fine for accidents, stuff like that. I – I just don’t want to get in a situation where I have to back up Roy. I don’t want the leg to go out or something.”

“Roy?”

“It’s okay, Cap. Don’t stand us down. Just make sure that the engine accompanies us on our runs and we’ll be okay.”

Cap looked between the men. He frowned and rubbed his hands together. “Well, okay. Let me make the call. In the meantime, Roy, take Johnny to the dorm and take a look at his leg. I’ll be in in a few minutes.”

Cap picked up the phone and Roy guided Johnny toward the dorm. They could hear the others sharing jokes over their coffee in the dayroom. Johnny looked dejected.

“Okay, Junior, drop trou.”

“Roy!”

“You heard Cap. Let me have a look.”

Johnny sheepishly unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and much to his surprise, had to struggle a bit to get his pants down over his hips.

“Holy shit, Johnny!”

Cap walked in just as Roy exclaimed his disbelief at the sight. “What the hell?” Cap had the same tone of voice.

Johnny saw fear and disbelief in his friends’ eyes. He looked down at his leg and his mouth dropped open.

“Christ, Johnny, that is more than a LITTLE swelling. That lump is the size of an orange.”

Johnny freaked out at Roy’s words and pulled his pants back up. He stormed out of the dorm and headed toward the dayroom.

“Roy, after we go talk to Johnny, I’m going to stand you down.”

Roy shook his head in agreement. “I had no idea.” Roy looked at Cap. “And by his reaction, I don’t think Johnny did either.”

The men ran after Johnny.

Johnny walked into the dayroom and looked around.

“Hey, Gage, one lump or two?” Chet had already poured coffee for Johnny and Roy.

“Shut the hell up, Chet!”

“What? What’s wrong with you. I only asked one lump or two!”

“Just – shut – the – hell – up!” Johnny yelled between his teeth.

Johnny turned on his heels and ran into Cap and Roy.

“Johnny, come with me.” Cap grabbed Johnny by the arm and led him from the dayroom.

Roy looked at the departing men and turned to the guys at the table. “Johnny’s…Johnny’s…shit, let me go take care of this and I’ll explain it to you later.” Roy started to leave the room but turned around. “He didn’t mean it, Chet.” Roy then left the room to go meet up with Cap and Johnny.

Chet, Mike, and Marco all looked at each other – utter confusion on all of their faces.

“Johnny, I’m going to stand down the squad…” Cap was trying to take care of the situation when the station was toned out.

“Station 51. Accident. Highway entrance ramp, 29. Ramp 29. Time out 11:35.”

“Cap – I’m okay. It’s an accident. I can handle it.”

Cap looked at Johnny as he picked up the mic. “Station 51. KMG365.” Cap was unsure if he’d made the right decision. But, he had to believe his man. And, his replacement would be at the station by the time they returned. He hoped.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the squad responded, Johnny stared straight ahead. He absentmindedly rubbed his right knee. This action was not unnoticed by Roy.

The squad pulled up to the scene. Again, it wasn’t a bad accident. The location was not the best but the police had traffic control well at hand.

“Johnny, you get the equipment out and ready. I’ll check the cars. Hey, Chet, will you help me check the cars?”

“Roy…”

“Junior, do as I say. I’ll call you if we need help. It doesn’t look like anything serious anyway.” **If only I could say that about your leg, my friend.**

Chet gave Johnny a strange look as he passed him. Johnny looked away. Johnny got the drug box and bio-phone out. All was ready just as Chet brought a lady over.

“She doesn’t look bad, Johnny. A couple cuts that need bandaged. Maybe a bump here or a lump there – but overall, I’d say she’s pretty lucky.”

Chet didn’t understand the flash of anger that passed Johnny’s face. **A bump here. A lump there. Go to hell!** Johnny shook his head. “Thanks, Chet.” Turning his attention to the lady, Johnny gave her a quick look. “Here, let me help you sit down here. Ahh!” Chet turned at Johnny’s cry.

**What the hell is going on with you, Gage?** “Here Johnny, let me help.”

This time the look that crossed Johnny’s face was a look of gratitude. “Looks like you’ll need a few stitches. Do you hurt anywhere else?”

“No.” The lady started crying.

“What? Where does it hurt?” Johnny couldn’t find any broken bones or indications of internal injuries.

“My pride. My pride hurts. I’ve never been in an accident.”

Johnny looked over at Roy. Roy gave him the thumbs up. “Well, it doesn’t look like anyone else is hurt. That’s a good thing. And, these things happen. That’s why they’re called accidents. Now, I’m going to call in to Rampart. We’ll tell them you’re on the way. Everything will be okay, you’ll see.” Johnny squatted down to call Rampart. Chet was in a squatting position next to him. Cap had just walked up.

“Rampart, Squad 51, how do you read?”

“Go ahead, Squad 51.” Brackett picked up a pad and pencil.

“Rampart, we have an accident victim, female, 28 years old, minor cuts. No indications of further injury. Ahhhhhh!”

Johnny dropped the phone and rolled forward onto his knees. He couldn’t catch his breath. He was sweating profusely. His hands dropped to the ground supporting as much of his weight as possible. The pain in his leg felt like a hot knife piercing completely through his leg. Every breath made the knife cut again. The pain was blinding. Johnny felt like he was going to throw up. His elbows collapsed and his head hit the ground. The pressure only increased in his leg. Dizziness and fear overtook the paramedic. His scream tore into the hearts of everyone on the scene.

“51? Johnny?” Brackett was worried. Joe Early and Dixie turned their attention to the phone at the sound of Johnny’s screams. “Johnny?”

Cap grabbed the bio-phone as Chet grabbed Johnny. “Rampart, engine 51. We have an injured fireman. Update to follow.” Cap dropped the phone as Johnny began to pass out and fall into Chet.

“51? What’s going on, 51?” The trio in the base station heard the phone drop for a second time and they heard the voices in the background. In an effort to listen to the sounds of the scene, Brackett held up his hand to silence the worried expressions of his co-workers.

“Johnny? Roy, get over here. Hang on, Johnny. Lay down.” Cap motioned for Roy and Mike to join him.

“AHHHH! Oh, God, it hurts so – damn – bad!”

“Hang on, Johnny. Mike, call in a Code I. Roy, do we need another squad?” Roy shook his head.

Roy grabbed the bio-phone. “Rampart, 51, can we transport original victim?”

“51, can you give me vitals? And, what is going on there?” Brackett was beginning to lose his cool.

“10-4, Rampart. Johnny? Johnny? Do you remember the vitals?” Roy hated to ask but needed to save time if possible.

“I’ve got them, Roy. BP 130/86. Pulse 60. Respirations 20 and normal.”

“Thanks, Chet. Rampart,…”

“I heard, Roy. Go ahead and transport. How many ambulances do you have?”

“Two, Rampart.”

“Go ahead and have her brought in.” Brackett’s next question was interrupted by another scream.

‘OOOHHH! Damn it! Damn it!!’ Johnny began to vomit.

‘Roy, what the hell is going on there?” Brackett heard the scream and heard Johnny vomiting. He knew that whatever was happening was not good.

“Yeah, Roy, what the hell is going on?” The concern is Chet’s voice was felt by everyone.

“One lump, Chet. One lump, damnit!” Johnny was vomiting again.

Brackett, Early, and Dixie all looked at each other. They were more confused now than ever.

Chet looked at Marco and shrugged his shoulders. Mike looked at Cap and nodded. Cap looked at Roy then over Roy’s shoulder. He was glad to see that the ambulance was leaving with the accident victim. Now everyone could concentrate on Johnny.

“Cap, can you fill in Rampart? You done puking, Junior?” Roy tried to lighten the mood.

Johnny attempted a smile. “I hope so, Roy.” What little smile Johnny had mustered quickly disappeared. “Ahhh! Too tight. Too tight, Roy. Killing me.” Johnny was talking – screaming – through his teeth.

Roy looked up at Chet. “Chet, help me get Johnny on his back.” In one quick motion, Roy cut the top of Johnny’s pants. A short-lived relief passed Johnny’s eyes.

Squatting next to Roy, Cap contacted Rampart. “Rampart, engine 51.”

Brackett breathed a sigh of relief. “Go ahead, 51.

“Rampart, Johnny has something wrong with his hip. Or, not really his hip. It’s the bend at his upper thigh and pelvis. Right side, Rampart. HOLY SHIT!!!” Cap forgot he was on the phone. It hadn’t mattered, his reaction couldn’t be controlled.

“What the hell is that?” Chet was feeling sick.

“Dios, mio.” Marco launched into a mumbled prayer.

Mike stood silently. This time though, his silence was attributable to the shock of what he was seeing.

“51?” Brackett couldn’t remember ever feeling this uneasy.

“Uh, Roy will update you in a minute, Rampart.” Cap grabbed Johnny’s right shoulder while Chet grabbed his left.

“Johnny, you have to lay down, Junior.” Roy was still stunned. He had seen the lump back at the station. **Only an hour ago. What the hell is going on?** Roy looked into Johnny’s questioning eyes. “Johnny, the lump has gotten bigger.”

“Bigger?” Fear replaced any sound of pain in Johnny’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. It’s about the size of a grapefruit. A big grapefruit.” Roy made his way to Johnny’s foot. **At least there’s still a pulse in his foot.** “Hey, Johnny, can you move your foot?”

“Ahh!” Johnny whimpered.

“Okay, okay. Keep still. We’ll get you to Rampart in a minute.” Roy grabbed the bio-phone.

“Rampart, 51.”

“What the hell is going on, Roy?” Now it was Brackett’s turn to start yelling.

“Doc, Johnny has a lump in the bend of his right leg. The iliopsoas area. It was minor this morning but has grown to the size of a grapefruit. A large grapefruit. He’s in considerable pain…as I imagine you’ve heard. There is a pulse in the foot but movement causes pain. I haven’t gotten vitals yet.”

“Oh, my knee.” Johnny tried to roll to the right.

“Roy, what did Johnny just say about his knee?” Brackett was confused.

“I think he was talking about his hip, Rampart. He’s pretty out of it.” Roy put a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. Talking away from the phone, Roy addressed Johnny. “Junior, you need to lay still. Rolling around will make it worse.”

“Roy…” Johnny’s eyes rolled to the top of his head and he passed out.

Roy dropped the phone. “Johnny? Johnny? Wake up, Johnny. C’mon, don’t go out on me here.”

Brackett, Early, and Dixie looked at each other. Trying in vain to lighten the situation, Dixie commented, ‘Wonder who’s gonna fix that phone? Is there a limit to how many times it can be dropped before it stops working?”

Brackett offered a small laugh. Joe just rubbed his eyes.

“Rampart.”

“Go ahead, Roy.”

“Johnny has passed out. I can’t bring him around. Got his vitals. BP 140/98. Respirations 40 and shallow. Pulse racing. Diaphoretic.”

“Start IV with Ringers, Roy. Both arms, wide open. Do you have a cold pack with you?”

“10-4, Rampart.”

“Apply cold pack to Johnny’s…uh, lump, Roy. Transport immediately.”

“10-4, Rampart. We’ll be ready to roll within 5 minutes.” Roy turned to the tasks at hand. A smile of gratitude was given to his friends. Chet had the IV bags ready. Marco had the ice pack set to go. And, Mike and Cap and the stretcher ready to be loaded.

As Johnny was being loaded into the ambulance, Cap stopped Roy.

“Roy, what is going on?”

“I don’t know, Cap. The lump has doubled, maybe tripled in size since this morning. You saw it not long ago.”

“I know, Roy. I don’t like this. I just don’t like this.” Cap rubbed his hands as he looked at the ambulance.

“Neither do I, Cap.” Roy squeezed Cap’s shoulder before jumping into the ambulance.

The men of Station 51 stood in silence as the ambulance pulled away.

Chet finally broke the silence. “What the hell?” He shook his head.

“Well said, Chet, well said.” Cap directed everyone to head for the hospital.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dixie, call x-ray, tell them we’ll be sending a patient down for a CT scan. Call Emerson in neurology. Have him meet us in 3.”

“Okay, Kel.”

“And, Dix…call Johnson in oncology.”

Dixie flinched at the implications of Dr. Brackett’s last request. Joe Early shifted his gaze to the floor. Dixie looked at both doctors and nodded her head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, Junior. Welcome back.” Roy was relieved to see Johnny stir.

“Roy?”

“We’re almost at Rampart, Johnny. Just relax. Brackett is waiting for us.”

“Roy?”

“He’ll get that leg taken care of and you’ll be up using it to kick Chet’s butt before you know it.”

“Roy! Something is really wrong. Isn’t it?” The depression and fear rang through Johnny’s voice.

“I…I…oh, I don’t know, Johnny. I hope not. God, how I hope not. Just remember, you’re not alone in this, Junior. You – are – not – alone.”

Johnny grinned his lop-sided grin at his best friend just before another stabbing pain consumed him.

“Arrgh!”

As if on cue, the ambulance rolled to a stop, the doors opened, and Dr. Brackett grabbed the stretcher.

“Johnny, hang on. Roy, let’s get him to Treatment 3.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny closed his eyes for the ride to Treatment room 3. As the doors opened, he opened his eyes. He looked around the room. **Dixie, Dr. Early, Emerson…oh shit! Johnson! NO! NO!! NO!!!** Johnny whimpered.

“Johnny? Are you in pain right now?” Brackett was concerned. He stared intently at his patient. Johnny looked into Dr. Brackett’s eyes, averted his glance to Dr. Johnson, down at his feet, and then back up at Dr. Brackett. Brackett understood. “Johnny, it’s just a precaution. We don’t know anything yet.”

Johnny nodded his head and closed his eyes.

“Okay, Johnny, we’re going to take a look now.” Brackett began to remove the blanket from Johnny’s leg.

Johnny’s eyes shot open. He searched the room for Roy. Roy walked over and put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny looked at the faces of the doctors.

The famous Brackett twitch gave his thoughts away. “How long have you had this lump, Johnny?” The other doctors watched Brackett as he began to examine the area.

“Just a couple days. It’s been hurting for about a week or so. Started swelling just a few days ago. Now…OWWWWW!”

“Sorry, Johnny!”

Johnny gritted his teeth as the other 3 doctors did their own evaluations.

“We’re going to send you down for a CT scan, Johnny. We’ll review the results as soon as we get them. Then we’ll decide what to do. Dix, give him some MS intravenously. That will ease the pain a bit, Johnny.”

Dix administered the MS. The relief was almost instantaneous. As they were wheeling Johnny out of the room, he grabbed Dr. Brackett’s arm.

“Doc. My knee.”

Attributing the confusion to the drugs, Brackett shook his head. “We’re going to get a CT scan, Johnny. We’ll get this figured out.”

Roy followed his partner to x-ray. After the gurney was out and the door was closed, Dr Brackett turned to the other doctors. “Any ideas?”

“My guess is a lipoma. I just hope that based on the quick growth, it’s not a liposarcoma.” The implications of Dr. Johnson’s statements were not lost on the other doctors. One was a simple fat tumor. The other was a fat tumor that was cancerous. The fast growth lent itself to the latter.

“I think we’ll find that it’s a lipoma with nerve involvement. There are so many nerves in the iliopsoas area. Nerves follow the muscle path from around the side of the hip, across the leg, and down towards the knee with the concentration of nerves being right there at the bend of the leg. My hope is that the nerve involvement is the cause for the fast progression of growth.” Everyone hoped that Dr. Emerson’s predictions were true. “The only problem is that the surgery will be tricky. If there’s a lot of nerve involvement, Johnny may walk with a cane for the rest of his life…if he walks at all.”

Drs. Brackett and Early felt like they’d been punched in the stomach. Kel and Joe were both thinking the same thing - **Thank God Roy’s not here to hear that!**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The doctors walked into the lounge and found Roy sitting at the table with Dixie. Roy looked up.

“The other guys had to go back to the station. They’ll be back in the morning.”

Dr. Brackett nodded and the room remained quiet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back at the station, the engine crew sat in amazement.

“Did you see that lump? My God!” Chet was never at a loss for words. Nor did you ever have to wonder what he was thinking.

“Guess that explains it.” Mike once again confused the gang.

“Okay, I guess I’ll be the one to ask. EXPLAINS WHAT?” Chet was already at the end of his rope. Incomplete thoughts were not improving his mood.

“It explains why he jumped your ass this morning.”

“Oh…yeah, I guess it does.” Chet agreed. He then had another thought that he left unspoken. **This must be getting to Mike too. He just said ‘ass’!** Although it appeared inappropriate, he couldn’t help but smile.

The men sat quietly – waiting for the phone to ring.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Relax, Roy. They’ll come and get us as soon as they decide what the results mean.” Dixie tried to remain calm for Roy. Inside, she knew that none of the options looked good.

It wasn’t long before Joe Early entered the lounge. “Why don’t you come in and listen to this while we talk to Johnny. He’ll need someone to help him sort it out later.” Dr. Early held the door for Roy and Dixie.

As they entered the treatment room, Roy was at first relieved then scared. **Johnson’s not here. Must mean it’s not cancer. Wait. What if he’s gone to prepare for surgery?! I don’t like this at all!!**

Dr. Brackett looked around the room. There was the twitch again. He looked at Roy as if to gather support. “Okay, Johnny. It looks like you have a lipoma – a fat tumor. We are 90% sure that it’s not cancerous but we will, of course, send it to the lab for complete analysis.” Johnny stared wordlessly at Dr. Brackett as he continued. “Dr. Emerson will do the surgery. The CT scan shows major nerve involvement.” The pause caused Johnny to become even more fearful.

“Meaning…” Johnny wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Meaning that Dr. Emerson will have to use every ounce of skill he has. If everything goes well, you will be in for about 2 months of therapy after the incision heals.” Again, the pause.

Johnny swallowed hard. In a whisper he asked, “And if it doesn’t go well?”

Roy and Dr. Brackett locked eyes. “If it doesn’t go well, you may be confined to a wheelchair until you learn to maneuver the leg with the aid of a cane.”

Johnny closed his eyes. A silent tear fell down his cheek.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Captain Stanley jumped at the ringing of the phone. “Captain Stanley speaking.”

“Cap, it’s Roy. Johnny is in surgery.”

“Yeah… 90%? Well, that’s pretty good odds…What? Oh my God! Does he know?…Well, you know Gage, he wouldn’t show anything else…Yeah, let us know…Thanks, Roy.”

Chet, Marco, and Mike knew it wasn’t good. The only question on their minds was how bad the news really was.

“They’re 90% sure it’s not cancerous. Problem is, it’s on the nerves. They don’t know if Johnny will be able to walk without a cane.” Cap slumped into a chair at the table.

“Man, that sucks. I don’t get it, he was walking around here this morning and now this?” Chet wasn’t even trying to hide his concern.

“Well, Pal, time will tell. Let’s just hope for the best.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny woke up in the recovery room. As usual for someone coming out of anesthesia, he was confused. Roy saw the scared look of his friend.

“Hey, Johnny. They said it looks good. Doesn’t look cancerous.”

Johnny moaned. He closed his eyes then reopened them. “Knee?”

“No, Pal. They operated on your hip. Remember?”

“Knee hurts!”

“I’m sure your whole leg hurts, Johnny. You’ll be okay.”

Johnny looked like he was going to cry. “Nerves?”

“Dr. Emerson had to do a lot of nerve scraping. Dr. Brackett said that means the nerves may be slower to heal but he hopes you’ll fully recover.”

Johnny drifted off to sleep again. The next thing he knew, he was up in his room. Of course, Roy was still by his side.

Johnny woke up confused. “What happened?”

“Your leg, Johnny, remember?”

“Hit by a car?”

“No. The lump. Remember the lump?”

“Oh, yeah. Chet.”

On cue, the door to Johnny’s room opened. “Hey, I’m a lot of things but I’m not a lump!” Chet hoped his attempt at humor would be well received.

Johnny smiled. “No, you’re right. You’re not a lump. You’re more like a pile…oh, shit!”

“Pile o’ shit? That’s how you refer to your friend who has come over here as soon as a replacement came in? Well, if that’s how you feel, I’ll…I’ll…I’ll just sit here until you think otherwise about me.” Chet kept talking until he could see Johnny’s pain had lessened. “You okay, pal?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will be. Thanks for coming by…even if you are a pile…”

“Hey, don’t go there!” Chet was laughing.

“Damn, guys, my knee is killing me.”

“Don’t you mean your hip, Gage?” Chet looked at Roy.

“Oh, well, yeah - my hip bothers me. But it’s my knee that hurts.”

Brackett paused at the door. “Well, I hope we didn’t make a mistake and operate on the wrong part!” Brackett was sure Johnny was suffering from referred pain. He approached Johnny’s bedside. “I think your leg is confused, Johnny. All the nerves in your hip were traumatized by the pressure from the lump and then from the surgery. Probably why you’re not feeling a lot of pain in the area of your surgery. You leg has to hurt somewhere – at least in your mind it does – so it might as well be the knee.”

“I don’t know, Doc. It hurts. It really hurts.”

“Well, let me take a look at your hip. Then, we’ll look at your knee.” Dr. Brackett pulled the sheet down to expose Johnny’s surgery area. He was careful to not fully expose his patient.

Chet stood up to be better able to see across the bed.

“Oh, Chet, sit down, I don’t have anything that you don’t have. Of course, mine’s prettier.”

Chet turned 10 shades of red as Johnny, Roy, and Dr. Brackett laughed. For once, Chet was at a loss for words. Any need for a quick comeback was overshadowed by a cry from Johnny.

“Ow! Damn, that hurts!”

“I didn’t even touch you, Johnny.” Brackett’s smile was quickly replaced with a look of concern.

“I know. It’s my knee. Just hurts.” Johnny was again speaking through clenched teeth.

Dr. Brackett made quick work of his examination of Johnny’s incision. “Looks good, Johnny. Now let’s take a look at that knee.” Dr. Brackett pulled the sheet back even further. A muffled ‘damnit’ escaped under his breath. He looked up at Roy and Chet, then finally to Johnny. He began palpating the area on the inside of the kneecap. He was sick at what he was finding.

“Well, you certainly do have some swelling there, Johnny. We’ll put some ice on it and maybe do a CT scan of the area.” Brackett knew what it was, he just didn’t want his patient to know yet.

“SHIT!” Johnny pounded his fists into the bed.

“Hey, Johnny, don’t you go ripping those IV’s out. If you do, you’ll have a few more lumps to worry about!” Brackett said it before he thought. **Dumb ass! What the hell were you thinking? Better yet, why weren’t you thinking?**

Dr. Brackett’s comments stunned everyone. They all knew what he meant, knew that there was no harm intended, but it had been said.

“Johnny…”

“It’s okay, Doc. I knew as soon as you started feeling the area what you’d found. Hell, I knew before that.” Johnny once again was the one to smile first. His spirit, his attitude amazed his friends. Turning to Chet and Roy, Johnny said, “Why don’t you guys go home? I’m tired and will be falling asleep soon. Thanks for being here…even you, Chet.” Johnny’s smile was now as bright and wide as ever.

Chet smiled back. “Hey, Pal, thank me all you want but I just come past every once in awhile to see what the good doctor is wearing. He’s the man. I’m gonna build a pants wardrobe like he has and the chicks will be hanging off of me!” Chet smiled at his friend and squeezed his shoulder. He turned to leave but looked back before exiting the room, “I’ll see you later, Johnny. Call me if you need anything.” Without waiting for a response, Chet turned and left. **Man, I gotta cut this out. They’ll figure out that I really care about Gage!**

“Well, if you don’t need me, Johnny, I need to go talk to Chet. He’s been wearing too many solid color pants lately. Gotta get him into more of the checkered ones. He WILL have to fight the women off then!” Dr. Brackett patted Johnny’s leg and left the room.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, Roy. Just fine. Thanks. For everything, you know. Now go on. Give Joanne a hug for me.” Johnny waved his friend towards the door.

Roy paused. “You’re welcome, you know. Call if you need anything. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Johnny smiled and nodded. Roy raised his arm in a slight wave as he left the room. The door closed. Johnny cried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Yeah, Joanne. Thanks for understanding. I won’t be at the station long. I just need to pick up my stuff. See you soon.” Roy hung up the phone and went to find his car. **How many times have these guys brought my car to the hospital? Have they ever had to bring Johnny’s?**

Roy unconsciously tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. He wasn’t even aware of the music playing on the radio. All he could think about was his friend laying in the hospital facing yet another operation. He was surprised to see all the guys’ cars still at the station. He was even more surprised to see Cap sitting in the dayroom all alone.

“Cap?”

“Roy. How’s John?”

“Okay. What are you doing here?”

“Well, Pal, working.”

“But, Chet…”

Cap smiled. He should have known Chet wouldn’t tell Roy or Johnny. Cap motioned for Roy to join him. “That twit! He was the only one that I replaced – other than you and Johnny of course. He was so torn up about the morning. Said he could kick himself.”

“For what?”

“The ‘one lump or two’ question that set Johnny off.”

“He didn’t know, Cap.”

“Yeah, but he was so worried and felt so bad that I had him replaced so he could go over to the hospital. He was there, wasn’t he? Oh yeah, of course he was or you wouldn’t have been surprised to see me here.”

“Yeah, Cap, but I bet he wishes he hadn’t been there. Maybe you should call him.”

“Why, Roy?”

“Well, they found another lump.”

“WHAT?”

Cap’s yell woke the other men who had already turned in for the night. They came running into the dayroom.

“What’s wrong, Cap? Oh, God, Roy. Did something happen to Johnny?” Concern was written all over Marco’s face.

“Sit down. Roy has some news.” Cap motioned the rest of the men into the remaining chairs.

“Well, Johnny kept complaining about his knee.” Roy began.

“He did that at the scene.” Mike commented.

Everyone shook their heads in agreement.

“Well, Brackett came in to check on Johnny’s hip and Johnny complained again about his knee. Brackett wrote it off to confusion or referred pain – just like we all did at the scene – but Johnny insisted. After he checked the hip – which Brackett is really pleased with by the way – he pulled back the sheet and Johnny’s knee was swollen.”

“Yeah, but that could be from falling on it when he rolled forward, right?” No one had seen Chet appear in the doorway. He joined his friends and sat down, head in hands.

Everyone looked at Roy. “Roy?” There was a hopeful tone to Cap’s question.

“No, Chet knows what it is too. It’s small but there’s definitely a lump. Brackett is going to order another CT scan so we should know more in the morning.”

The men of 51 sat in silence until the klaxons sounded. Cap, Marco, Mike, and the 3 replacements went running leaving Roy and Chet alone.

“You okay?” Roy didn’t look at Chet.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Chet didn’t look at Roy.

“Cap said…well, you don’t have anything to feel bad about, Chet. You didn’t know. No one did.”

“Yeah.”

“Really, Chet. And, thanks for coming to the hospital. It means a lot.”

The men’s eyes met. They rose in silence and left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dr Brackett was walking down the hall with Dr. Emerson. Dixie walked beside the doctors but seemed to be more interested in the floor than in what the men were discussing. Kelly Brackett had a chart with him – he tapped his pencil against it as he walked.

The serious threesome turned the corner to find all the men of 51’s A-Shift sitting in the waiting area outside Johnny’s door. Dr. Brackett smiled at the men as he and Dr. Emerson entered Johnny’s room. Dixie joined the guys in the waiting area.

“Dix?” Roy was at her side before she could even sit down.

“The doctors will be out with an update soon. They did a CT scan last night. They’re discussing the results with Johnny now.” Dixie looked into the sad faces of Johnny’s friends.

As she was about to say something, everyone turned their attention to another doctor running down the hall and into Johnny’s room. In unison, everyone turned their attention back to Dixie.

“Dr. Millner. Orthopedics. He’ll do the…” Dix let her last sentence trail off.

“What, Dix? He’ll do the what?” Chet was suddenly frantic.

“Dr. Brackett will discuss it with you guys after he talks to Johnny. Let’s just wait and see what Johnny decides.” Dixie resumed staring at the floor.

“Man, all this and the worst damn lasagna I’ve ever eaten all on the same day.” Chet buried his head in his hands.

“What?” Dixie was confused.

Roy mustered a smile. “It’s lasagna day, Dix. Guess you haven’t made it down to the cafeteria yet, huh?”

“No, and I don’t think I’ll be going either. I don’t know why they keep making that…that shit! NO ONE likes it!” Dixie caught everyone off-guard with her apt and direct description of the entrée of the day.

Everyone gathered shared a much-needed laugh.

Within minutes, the door to Johnny’s room opened. “Roy. Will you come in here for a few minutes, please?” Dr. Brackett held the door open for the senior paramedic.

After what seemed like hours but was really only minutes, Roy and the doctors exited Johnny’s room. Roy walked towards the group in the waiting area. His shoulders were drooped over like a defeated man. He put his hand up letting his friends know that he was going to let Dr. Brackett do the talking. The doctors exchanged quiet words before shaking each other’s hands and parting ways. Dr. Brackett approached the group.

“Doc?” It was Cap’s turn to get frantic.

“Everyone sit back down.” After seeing that everyone was seated, he began speaking again. “As I’m sure you know, Johnny was complaining about pain in his knee. Last night, we found swelling in the right knee. We did a CT scan and it showed that he is developing another lipoma. When Johnny fell on his knees yesterday, it seemed to cause the lipoma to become more active. He’ll need surgery. It will be somewhat similar to the hip surgery but there is much more joint involvement with the knee.”

A brief pause gave Chet the opportunity to ask, “Meaning…”

“Meaning, that in all probability, Johnny will have to walk with a cane.” Dr. Brackett paused to let the information set in.

“Yeah, but Doc, we knew that yesterday. It’ll just be a bit longer until he loses the cane, right?” Chet knew the answer but he had to ask.

“Chet…” Dr. Brackett began to reply.

“There’s a chance, right? RIGHT? There IS a chance that he will fully recover. RIGHT?” Chet was almost yelling.

“Chet, settle down. There’s always a chance, isn’t there Dr. Brackett?” Cap was not feeling too well.

Brackett looked around the room again. “Look, of course there’s a chance. But it’s a small chance. A very, very small chance.”

“Tell them the rest, Doc.” Roy just wanted this scene to be over with.

“The rest? There’s more?” Chet was pacing now.

“Madre de Dios.” Marco began to pray.

“We’re going to wait to do the knee surgery. We’ll monitor the growth of the tumor. Do regular biopsies to ensure that it’s not going bad on us. If we can, we’d like to wait 4 weeks in order to give Johnny’s hip area time to heal. We don’t want to traumatize the nerves in the leg any further without giving them a chance to regenerate and heal a bit.” Dr. Brackett looked to Roy.

“When Johnny is released from the hospital, he’ll be staying with me and Joanne. Cap, Johnny is talking about resigning. Can you arrange for an extended leave of absence?” Roy was still shaking at the thought of his partner never coming back to work.

“I think it would be advantageous to handle it that way, Hank. If he has something to work towards, he is more likely to improve. Even if he never gets back to being able to work as a paramedic again, he’d have a better chance to at least be able to walk with a cane instead of needing to use a walker…or a wheelchair.” Dr. Brackett cringed at the reactions of the men around him.

“Of course, of course I’ll arrange for a leave of absence. But listen, if Johnny wants to resign, I don’t think we should argue with him. Kelly, do you think he’s in his right mind? You know, capable of making that type of decision right now?” Cap gave a quick smile to the doctor.

Dr. Brackett stood up and smiled. “Good point there, Hank. No, I don’t think he is. I’ll make a note of that in his file. And, I’ll recommend a medical leave of absence for the interim.” Kelly Brackett extended his hand to Captain Hank Stanley. A handshake and another smile later, both men were feeling a bit better.

Mike glanced around the room and noticed the tears running down Dixie’s cheeks. He silently made his way to her side and offered her his handkerchief and a slight squeeze of the shoulder. She looked up at the quiet man with silent gratitude.

After a short discussion, it was decided that everyone would go into Johnny’s room for a short visit. Then, Cap would stay the rest of the afternoon while Roy and the other guys went to Roy’s house to help him ready the place for Johnny’s eventual arrival.

Johnny kept up a brave face for his friends. The talk was light and there was even some much needed laughter. Finally, it came time for his friends to leave. Johnny smiled as the men left and Cap sat down. The door closed. And Johnny cried.

Cap hid his face…and cried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The men were scrambling to get things done at Roy’s house. Roy was in the shed building a temporary wheelchair ramp just in case it was needed. He decided to make just a basic ramp. If it turned out that Johnny did need a wheelchair, he’d remake it into a better, stronger piece. **Oh, Junior, I hope this is all in vain. God, how I hope you never have to use this!!**

Inside the house, Joanne was orchestrating the movement of the furniture. Mike, Marco, and Chet were sweating but not one of them complained. As soon as the living room was taken care of, focus was shifted to the bedrooms. Chris’ was closest to the bathroom so Chris was moved to the guestroom.

By the end of the afternoon, the DeSoto house was declared ‘Johnny-ready’.

“Thanks, guys! I really appreciate your help.” Roy hoisted a bottle of beer to his friends.

Chet turned to Joanne. “When we find out Johnny’s release date, we’ll work out a schedule to relieve you and Roy. We’ll take turns helping Johnny out.”

Marco quickly added, “My Mama said she’d come over to help out too. And, she’ll help with the cooking so you have some time to relax, Joanne.”

“Cap said his wife would help out, too.” Mike was peeling the label off his bottle of beer.

Joanne and Roy looked at each other. Joanne’s eyes teared up. “We don’t expect you guys…”

“We don’t want to hear it, Joanne. He’s our friend too. You guys are giving too much as it is having him here with you. We’re going to do what we can – all we can. For as long as it takes.”

Chet was adamant.

Roy didn’t trust his voice to anything more than a meek ‘thank you’ and another hoisting of the beer bottle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cap looked over at Johnny. He was sure the man was asleep. When he turned and saw two sad eyes staring at him, a stunned look crossed Cap’s face and another tear rolled down his cheek. The men briefly sat in silence.

With a mere whisper, Johnny broke the silence. “I’m going to resign, Cap.”

Cap just stared at the paramedic.

Johnny’s voice raised to just above a whisper. “I said I’m going to resign.”

Cap still sat staring. **Don’t let me down, Pal. I’ve thought long and hard about this. I knew it was coming. Please, let this be the right way to handle it. Find yourself, Johnny. Find yourself right now**

“Forget it. Forget me.” Johnny looked away. Try as he might, he couldn’t fight the urge to look back toward his boss, his friend. **Don’t just sit there. Say something. C’mon, Cap. This is where you’re supposed to comfort me. Help me out here.** Johnny was getting pissed. Cap noticed Johnny making fists. Cap didn’t flinch when Johnny pounded his left fist into the mattress. Cap just kept staring. **Oh, for Christ’s sake, Cap. Just say SOMETHING!!** The staring continued. Cap could see the rage building in his friend. The fists were pumping again. Neither man broke their gaze. Neither man said a word.

**C’mon, Johnny. You’re almost there. Just a bit more.** Cap was waiting for the right moment.

Johnny began rhythmically hitting the mattress. The hits became harder and harder. Johnny’s stare grew more and more intense.

“What’s wrong, Pal? Mad about something?” Cap had seized the moment.

“You’re goddamned right I am! I – am – pissed – as – hell!!” Johnny was yelling.

Cap went back to staring. This only served to piss off Johnny more. Another slam to the bed. The silence continued for a moment longer. Until Johnny had reached his limit.

“I’m pissed that you’re sitting there staring at me like I’m a cripple. I’m pissed that I am a cripple. I’m pissed that I can’t get up and go to work tomorrow. Or ever again. I’m pissed that my body betrayed me. I’m pissed that you WALK in and out of here. I’m pissed that I don’t – that I CAN’T. I’m pissed that it’s not over. I’m pissed that there’s another surgery. I’m pissed that I took it all for granted again after I swore I wouldn’t. I’m pissed that I’m gonna have to fight like hell again to be able to do what I used to.” Johnny was screaming.

Calmly, Cap asked, “Are you going to?”

“Going to what, Cap? Cry – yes. Hurt – yes! Suffer – YES. Be pissed off – YES!!”

“Fight?”

“What?”

“You said you were pissed that you were going to have to fight like hell again. Are you going to? Fight?”

Johnny briefly stared at Cap. He then put his head back against his pillow and looked up at the ceiling. The answer finally came in a soft “yes”.

Cap stood up and approached Johnny’s bed. Johnny continued to stare at the ceiling. Cap gently grasped Johnny’s arm. Johnny turned and looked into Cap’s eyes yet again.

“I’m so scared, Cap. And, I’m so very, very tired. How many times do I have to learn to walk again? How many times can I overcome the odds? What if I can’t this time? What if I can’t?”

Tears were welling up in Johnny’s eyes.

Cap squeezed Johnny’s arm. “I don’t know how many times you have re-learn how to walk, Johnny. I know you have to do it at least once more. You’ve done it before. The bravery and spirit you’ve shown, pal, have been beyond inspirational. But, you have to do it again. You don’t have to do it alone. We are all here for you. We’re here for you whether you can overcome the odds or not. Just like always.”

“Ha. Just like always. ‘Always’ happens too much, Cap. I don’t know…”

“Yes you do.”

Johnny smiled at Cap. “Yeah, I do. And, I will.” Johnny thought for a minute before adding. “Oh, and Cap, I’ve decided not to resign.”

Cap shook his head. “Wouldn’t have accepted it anyway, you twit.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Look, Roy, I appreciate it, I really do. But, I don’t want you here. I gotta do this on my own. I gotta find the answer myself right now. Go get something to eat. Come back in an hour. But I can’t have you here right now.”

“Johnny…”

“Roy, please? You’ll have plenty of time to witness my successes – or failures – firsthand when I leave the hospital. I really need to take these first steps – or try to at least – alone. Just an hour, Roy. Give me this hour.”

“I don’t like it, Junior, but okay. You’ll have me paged if you need me, right?” At Johnny’s positive nod, Roy turned to walk away. He turned back to his friend. “Okay, I’ll see in half an hour, then.” Roy quickly turned and walked away.

Johnny couldn’t help but smile.

Once his friend was gone, Johnny turned toward Dr. Emerson and the therapist. “No time like the present, gentlemen.” **God, please let me be able to stand. Please let me be able to walk.**

“Oh. Oh – oh. Damn.” Johnny gritted his teeth as he put weight on his right leg. He leaned more on the walker to take the weight off his leg. When he was finally able to work through the pain, he put his full weight on the leg. Johnny was sweating but he didn’t care – he was standing!

“Good. Do you have your balance, Johnny?” Dr Emerson was observing the man’s leg and his face. He knew he would see the answers he was seeking in Johnny’s face.

“I think so. Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay. Now move the walker just a little. We’ll start by stepping – not striding. Step with your left leg, then bring your right leg up to meet it.”

Johnny took a deep breath. **Here we go! Move the walker. Not a problem. Move the left leg. Not a problem. Oh – kinda hurts to have that pressure on my right leg. Move the right leg. PROBLEM – damnit! Bend you son-of-a-bitch! Shit!!**

“That’s good, Johnny!”

“Good? GOOD? I just drug my leg up here. It didn’t bend. It didn’t glide. It drug up like a sack of potatoes.” Johnny was not happy.

“You’re standing, right? Right?” It was Dr. Emerson’s turn to be unhappy. “RIGHT?”

“Yes.” Johnny looked at the floor.

“Look at me! You just moved your leg and took a step, right?”

“Yes.” Johnny kept looking at the doctor this time.

“So…GOOD!”

Johnny smiled. “Good.”

It didn’t take long before Johnny was worn out. Dr. Emerson helped him back to bed “Okay, so we’ll have you do this every other hour. I expect you to build up the number of steps each time you exercise. If you progress well enough, we’ll let you go home in 2 days.”

“How about tomorrow?” Johnny was always going to push the envelope.

“How about if we talk about it tomorrow afternoon?” Dr. Emerson was going to let him push as hard as he could. **That’s it, John Gage, fan the fire. Get that spirit of yours that I’ve heard so much about burning. Just don’t burn out because you’ve got a long road ahead.**

“What about tomorrow afternoon?” Roy walked into the room followed closely by Dr. Brackett and Dixie.

“Well, Roy, if your friend here works hard, he may get to go home tomorrow afternoon.”

“We’re ready!” Roy turned to Johnny. “The sooner, the better, Junior.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been nine days. Nine long, hard days. Johnny worked harder than he ever had. He was making good progress but he was still using the walker. All of the doctors agreed that given the short time that had passed, there was nothing negative to be read into the fact that Johnny was still using the walker. They had, in fact, assumed that he would use the walker until the surgery on his knee. That’s not what John Gage had planned though. He figured a couple days with the walker and then onto the cane. He’d have tried too but Roy refused to even let a cane be brought into the house. Not until the doctors gave him one.

True to their words, all of Johnny’s friends were helping out. He was overwhelmed but not surprised. After all, they had done this before. Too many times. Way too many times.

**Day ten. Ten days home. Or at least in Roy’s home. I’m going to ask the therapist to add some resistance today. Oh, I’m sure there will be an argument. Gotta pick up the pace. Gotta get up. Just a few more minutes. Maybe I’ll lay here a few more minutes. No. No, don’t have time to rest. Gotta get up. Now.**

Johnny sighed and threw the covers back. **Here we go!** “OUCH! SHIT! NO! NO! NO!”

Roy and Joanne bolted from the kitchen table into Johnny’s room. Johnny’s eyes were closed and he was pounding his fists into the bed.

“Johnny. What’s wrong?” Roy immediately snapped into paramedic mode. Johnny didn’t have to tell him what was wrong, he could see. “Joanne, dial Rampart, please. Ask for Brackett. I need to talk to Brackett. Johnny, hang in there. Just relax.”

“Too soon, Roy. It’s too damn soon.” Johnny was starting to hyperventilate.

“Relax, Johnny. Slow down your breathing. Let me talk to Brackett. This will be okay, Junior.”

Joanne turned towards Roy and put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. “They’re paging Dr. Brackett, Roy.” Silently she mouthed her question. “What’s wrong?” Roy pointed to Johnny’s knee. Joanne gasped in a high-pitched cry. At Roy’s look that screamed ‘shut up’, Joanne feigned a coughing attack.

Johnny couldn’t help but laugh. He looked at Joanne. She looked like a child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “You’re a good friend, Joanne.” Johnny continued laughing until the tears began to fall. At first the tears seemed to be tears of laughter but Johnny couldn’t keep up the act. The tears eventually revealed Johnny’s fear.

“Okay, Roy wants to talk to you, Dr. Brackett.” Joanne held the phone out to Roy. As soon as he’d taken it, Joanne went to Johnny’s side. She brushed back his hair and looked into his eyes. “You’re a good friend too, Johnny. This will be okay.” Johnny took Joanne’s hands and held on like his life depended on it.

Roy had turned his back to his friend. **Been here before.** “Doc, it’s Johnny’s knee. He woke up screaming this morning. The lump, Doc, it’s the size of a softball. Overnight, man, overnight.”

“I saw it yesterday, Roy, it was only the size of an egg. Are you sure it’s as big as a softball?”

“Yeah, Doc.”

“Damnit. It had stayed the same size since he left the hospital. Get him in here, Roy. I’ll call Emerson and Millner. We’ll do it today.”

“Doc, Johnny’s scared to death. Keeps saying that it’s too soon. He’s already hyperventilated. What do I tell him?” Roy was asking for himself every bit as much as he was asking for his friend.

“Tell him…tell him. Oh hell, let me talk to him.” Brackett was searching frantically for something positive to say.

“Hey, Junior, Dr. Brackett wants to talk to you.” Roy handed Johnny the phone.

“Doc.” Johnny didn’t even bother to hide the fear in his voice.

“Hey, Johnny, I know you wanted to push this recovery but scheduling your own surgery three weeks early is a bit brazen, don’t you think?” **Laugh, my friend, please laugh.**

“You know me, Doc, I’m not very patient. Told you I wanted this to be over and done with.” Johnny didn’t laugh but Dr. Brackett could hear the smile in his voice. Suddenly Johnny got very serious. “It’s too soon, Doc.”

“Well, Johnny, it is sooner than we had planned but that doesn’t mean that it will necessarily be bad. Let’s just get you in here, get it done, and take it from there.”

“Okay, Doc. See you soon then.” Johnny handed the back to Roy. He looked at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and punched the bed.

Joanne and Roy traded glances that managed to combine concern and amusement.

“Um, Johnny?” Roy paused to make sure he had his friend’s attention.

Johnny realized that Roy wasn’t going to continue until he looked at him. So, with a sigh, Johnny opened his eyes and turned toward Roy. “Yeah?”

“The bed is crying ‘uncle’, pal.”

Johnny smiled as he smoothed the sheets next to him. “C’mon, help me outta this bed. No sense putting off the inevitable.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joanne started making calls while Roy helped Johnny get ready.

“Okay, Hank, we’ll see you at the hospital then.” Before she could hang up the phone, Johnny let out a blood-curdling scream. “No, we can get him there, thanks though. See you in a few minutes.”

Calls to Chet, Mike, and Marco all brought about the same response. They all insisted on being at the hospital when Johnny arrived. **How lucky Roy is to have such a good group of co-workers and friends. How lucky we all are. Especially Johnny!**

“Roy, just how the hell am I going to get to the hospital? I can’t bend my knee AT ALL.”

“I’ll get you there, Junior. In case you didn’t know, I’m the best paramedic in these parts. I can figure out stuff like this."

“Huh? You did say ONE of the best, right? Don’t bother answering, Roy, I KNOW that’s what you said.” Both men laughed.

In a matter of minutes, Johnny was standing next to the back door of Roy’s station wagon. “Okay, Junior, sit on this chair, I’m going to crawl through the other door and pull you across the seat. You can lean against the door and you’ll be all nice and comfy. Piece of cake.”

Just as Roy was closing the door behind his partner, he triumphantly mumbled, “See there, BEST damn paramedic in these parts.” He shut the door before Johnny could comment.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Seven pairs of eyes were anxiously looking out the windows of the receiving doors at Rampart.

“There they are!” Chet was the first one out the door.

Before Roy could get the car in park, Chet, Mike, Marco, Cap, Dixie, Dr. Early, and Dr. Brackett were opening doors and all talking at once.

Johnny rolled his eyes. He was pleasantly surprised to see all of his friends but irritated at the commotion at the same time.

“Hey!” Johnny’s yell brought all noise and activity to a stop. “Look, I appreciate all of you wanting to help, but you see, I was brought in by the best damn paramedic in these parts,” Johnny rolled his eyes again, “and I know he wants to be the one to get me out of this car and into the ER.” Once he spotted Roy, grinning like a schoolboy, in the crowd, he added, “C’mon, Best, get me outta here!”

Roy knew he’d have to explain to the others standing around but for the time being, he was grateful to share a private joke with his best friend.

It took more than Roy. In fact, it took Roy, Cap, Dr. Brackett, and Dr. Early, but Johnny was out of the car and into a treatment room. And, as usual, his friends were there – waiting.

The wait wasn’t long this time though. Everyone knew what was going to happen anyway. Not too long after the treatment room door closed, it re-opened. The doctors walked out alongside the gurney carrying Johnny to surgery. Again, it was Dr. Brackett who stopped to brief the group.

“This one will be a bit longer, guys…and gals. We think everything will be okay – no cancer anyway. Again, we are getting this at the outset of the quick growth and yesterday’s biopsy came back negative.” Kel looked around the group standing before him. “I’d tell you all to go home, but I know I’d be wasting my breath. I’ll let you know something just as soon as there’s something to know.” Dr. Brackett offered a half smile to the group of friends and began to walk away. He’d only gone a few steps when he turned around. “Hey, at least Johnny picked meatloaf day for this to happen.” Brackett laughed as he walked toward the elevator.

The group laughed, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The surgeons opened up Johnny’s knee. To say it was a mess was an understatement.

“The good news for me is that there isn’t much nerve involvement here. Mostly joint involvement.” Dr. Emerson was relieved to see that his part in the surgery was limited.

“Yeah, well your gain is my loss, buddy.” Dr. Millner was not happy. “Looks like there’s a small tear at the base of the patellar tendon. The lipoma has caused the patella to track outside of its normal path. Pulling back the patella, Dr. Millner noticed the rough underside. Chondromalacia. We’ll have to scrape the cartilage.” Again focussing on the tendon, “I don’t think we’ll need to repair the tendon. The tear is minor and fresh. It’s deep enough to the muscle that there is some blood flow – I think it will heal. Probably 6 to 8 weeks of immobilization though. What’s that going to do to your rehab plan for the nerves that were previously affected, Bill?”

Dr. Emerson thought for a moment before answering. “How high are you going to brace the leg, Steve?”

“Ankle to top of the thigh. We’ll take it to within 4 inches of your earlier incision.”

“The biggest setback will be having to lessen the length of the sessions. He won’t be able to tolerate standing on the leg as long as he is now. As long as he can move the leg, we will continue with the course we are on right now. We need to keep him walking though.”

“You’re going to have to wait 2 days before you return him to any real activity, Bill.”

“Yeah, we’ll lose a little ground but we have to do what we have to do.” Dr. Emerson turned to Dr. Johnson. “Guess it’s your turn to take a look, Greg.”

Dr. Johnson examined the tumor. “Looks clean. I’ll leave you men to your work. Just make sure the entire tumor goes to the lab. Good luck, gentlemen.” Dr. Johnson left the room and the work began.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chet was watching the clock. “Four hours and twenty-seven minutes.”

“Thanks, Pal, I was wondering how long Johnny’s been in surgery. What was your last update? Oh yeah! Four hours and twenty-six minutes.” Cap gave Chet a friendly whack to the back of the head.

Everyone was grateful for the moment of comic relief.

It was almost 20 minutes later when Dr. Brackett walked into the waiting area. “Well, the surgery was rather long.”

“Four hours and thirty-four minutes.” Marco whacked Chet this time.

Brackett looked at Chet. “That’s right, how’d you know?”

“Figured it took you about 10-12 minutes to clean up and get down here…” Chet was cut short by a chorus of people yelling ‘CHET!’

Dr. Brackett shook his head and smiled. “Well, anyway… the surgery went well. The tumor looks good. We’re sending it off for testing of course. There wasn’t a lot of nerve involvement, which is great news. Much easier to just worry about the nerves in one area of the leg than in two. The knee was damaged though. The tumor had invaded the joint – that’s where all the pain was coming from – and caused the kneecap to track to the outside of the joint. That caused a tear in the patellar tendon and chondromalacia – roughing up of the cartilage on the back of the kneecap. The cartilage was scraped so it shouldn’t give Johnny any trouble. The tendon should heal while Johnny’s knee is immobilized. He’ll be in a leg brace for 6 to 8 weeks.”

“What does that do to his hip?” Roy was the first to ask what everyone else was wondering.

“Unfortunately, it takes him back quite a bit. He’s been doing so well with his exercises and therapy. Now he won't be able to be on the leg as much until the knee heals some and the pain decreases. In the long run, it won’t have any negative long-term implications. The worst part will be the frustration it will cause Johnny.”

“So…is he going to be able to walk – or work?” Mike asked.

“We’ll still have to wait and see. The walking –and the working - will still be dependent upon the nerve regeneration in the hip. The knee won’t stop him. The knee will be more painful of a rehab though. He’s still got a long road to travel. A long road.”

“But at least he’s on his way!” Cap’s positive thoughts were appreciated all of Johnny’s friends.

“What about other tumors?” Mike quietly asked.

“Great news there. We did a full body CT scan yesterday after the biopsy. We just looked at the results. No sign of any other tumors – anywhere.” Dr. Brackett’s voice lightened considerably.

“When can we see him?” Chet had heard all that Brackett had said, but he wouldn’t be comfortable until he saw his friend for himself.

Dr. Brackett looked at his watch. “Why don’t you go get some supper and by the time you get back, he should be out of recovery and in his room.”

“Supper? Not here. No way!” Chet got up and stomped off toward the men’s room as his friends started laughing.

“What’s wrong with him?” Brackett asked motioning to Chet with his thumb.

“Uh, Marco got the last piece of meatloaf. Chet had to take the substitute item.” Roy’s smile was about to split his face.

Brackett brought his finger to his mouth in a show of mock contemplation. “Let me guess, lasagna?”

The room broke into laughter. Chet turned and looked at everyone. Some were even wiping tears from their eyes. All laughter stopped for a moment as they heard Chet yell from down the hall. “It’s not funny!” Chet stormed into the men’s room and the laughter in the waiting room resumed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The visit the night before had been very short-lived. Johnny was tired so everyone stayed just long enough to say hello and let him know they were still with him in his struggles.

It was now 8:15 a.m. and Roy was back at Rampart. He had made a quick trip past the station to personally thank Bellingham for taking his shift for him. Now, the only focus for the rest of the day would be Johnny.

Roy thought that Johnny was still asleep when he slipped into his room. Roy looked at his friend, shook his head, and sat in a chair next to the bed. He sat with his head in his hands for awhile. Johnny lay in silence, eyes closed, just enjoying the peaceful feeling of knowing that his friend was there. Roy spoke softly, sure it was to no one other than himself. “I may be the best paramedic, Junior, but you’re the best friend a person could have.” Roy smiled.

Johnny opened one eye and looked at his friend. “Nah, Roy, you’re the best on both counts.” He closed his eye before he met his friend’s surprised look. A smile crossed his face.

“Johnny? You’re awake?”

“Yeah, Best, been awake since long before you came in.”

Johnny opened his eyes and looked at Roy with undying gratitude. He saw the same look being returned. The shared moment didn’t last long though. “Damn! Help me, Roy. Help me, please.” Johnny was gritting his teeth.

“What is it, Junior? What do you need?” Roy was up and at Johnny’s side before he had even gotten out the words asking for help.

“Cramp in my foot. Christ. Stop it, Roy. Make it stop.”

Roy rounded the end of Johnny’s bed and grabbed his heel. He also grabbed the ball of Johnny’s foot and pushed his foot up towards his body.

“Shit. Hurts the knee.” Roy released the ball of Johnny’s foot. “Damn – cramp’s back. Stretch it again, Roy.” Finally, Johnny’s face relaxed. “Thanks, man…you’re the BEST!”

Roy smiled at Johnny’s comment and headed back to the chair.

“Well, this is a helluva lot of fun, isn’t it, Roy? Hey, why aren’t you at the station. You’re on today.”

“No, Bellingham is. Took my shift so I could come and play footsie with you.”

Dixie opened the door and entered Johnny’s room. “Hey, if there’s anyone playing footsie with Johnny, it better be me! Johnny – I didn’t think Roy was your type.” Dixie winked at her patient.

Dr. Brackett didn’t want to know. He just shook his head. **I always pick the most opportune time to check up on Johnny. I don’t even want to know – don’t even want to know.** “How are you feeling today, Johnny?”

“Aside from my foot cramping, my knee hurting, and my hip aching, I’m feeling pretty damn good!”

“Good! Glad to hear it! Since things are going so well, I think it’s time we get you up.”

“But…but…”

“I don’t care if your butt hurts too, time to get up on that leg, mister.” Dr. Brackett was rather enjoying this exchange with Johnny – even if the feelings weren’t mutual.

Roy got up to leave.

“Where you going, Roy?” Johnny was ready to panic.

“I thought…well, last time…don’t you want me to leave?” Roy was thinking back to when he got booted out of Johnny’s room after the first surgery.

“No, Roy, I want you to stay.” **You’ve already seen my failures, pal. You’ve already picked my sorry ass up off the floor when I tried to do something I shouldn’t have. Nothing to hide from you, my friend, not even my tears or fears anymore.**

“Oh. Okay,” **Thanks, Junior. You don’t know how hard it was for me to leave last time. I want to be here for you good and bad. I want to catch you when you fall – or at the very least pick your sorry ass up after you fall. You’ve got nothing to hide from me, pal. And, I’ve got nothing to hide from you.**

Dr. Millner joined the group in Johnny’s room and in rather short order, Johnny was up on his feet.

“OH MAN! This really, really hurts.”

“Can you put the rest of your weight on your right leg, Johnny?” Dr. Millner was encouraging Johnny to push it to the limit.

Johnny relaxed his grip on the walker and balanced his weight equally on his legs. “Yow!” Johnny started sweating. He closed his eyes and tried to shake off the feeling. Roy made a move towards Johnny but Dr. Brackett put up his hand and stopped him. The doctors, Roy, and Dixie watched as Johnny got his senses back about him. He took two steps before being helped back to bed.

Everyone but Roy left the room.

“This sucks, Roy. This just really sucks.” Johnny was extremely frustrated.

“I know it does. It sucks to see you have to go through it, Johnny.” Roy hurt for his friend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Johnny sat in his living room for the first time in three months. He longingly looked around his apartment. He tapped his cane on the table. **Man, I can’t wait until I can spend the night here. At least Joanne brings me over here a few days a week. She’s been so good to me. So has Roy. So has everyone. I have some great friends.** Johnny closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of his couch. The memories of the past three months played again in his head.

**Man, I never thought my knee would bend again. I have never had so much pain in my life. Not even when I got hit by the car. ‘Doc, it hurts like hell. My knee is killing me.’ ‘I know, Johnny, it’s the incision.’ ‘But the incision at the hip didn’t hurt like this.’ ‘Well, that’s because of the difference in the bending of the joints. The incision on the knee is across the bend – it stretches when you bend your knee. The one at the top is IN the bend. Now, if you want to do some backbends I’m sure we can get the other one to feel like your knee.’** Johnny smiled. His thoughts returned to the present as his pulled up the right leg of his sweats and rubbed the still swollen scar. **Right across the kneecap. Wait ‘til I bang this against the side of the squad – that will hurt like hell!** Johnny’s thoughts were suddenly scrambled. It was the first time he’d known – truly known – that he would return to work. The thought about bumping his knee on the squad came naturally. He took it as a sign. **And I won’t care how bad it hurts! I’m going back to work!!**

Joanne found Johnny in a really good mood when she returned to pick him up. “Well, look at you! You look like the old Johnny!”

“I’m going back to work, Joanne. I’m going back to work.” Johnny surprised Joanne with a hug. He’d have picked her up and swung her around if he could have. He knew he would eventually do that too – one day.

Joanne couldn’t wait to have a moment alone. She had to call Roy and tell him about the change in his partner. She finally got her chance when Johnny decided to take an early shower.

“That’s great, Joanne! I can’t wait to tell the guys. Hey, why don’t you tell Johnny I’ll pick him up after we get off in the morning. Maybe some of the guys will feel like going out to breakfast…What’s that?…Oh, don’t worry, I’ll make sure no one brings it up. This is Johnny’s news on Johnny’s timeframe. I just think the guys need a positive gathering as much as Johnny does. And, Joanne, thanks for calling. I love you!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Do you think he’ll be able to do it? Really, I mean?” Chet didn’t want to be the party pooper but he couldn’t bear to see Johnny hurt again – emotionally or physically.

Cap smiled. “I think he’s got a better chance now than he did at this time yesterday. I know he was getting tired of the fight. I’m glad he’s gotten his second wind.”

“Then breakfast at Rosie’s it is. And remember, NO ONE says anything about this. NO ONE.” Roy looked at Cap, Mike, Marco, and Chet.

“In case you guys didn’t understand Roy, NO ONE!” Cap looked directly at Chet.

At everyone’s agreement, Roy jumped up from his chair. “Okay. I’ll pick Johnny up in the morning and we’ll meet there at 8:30.” It looked as though Roy was skipping as he headed to the dorm for what promised to be a good night’s sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All of the men were sitting around the table waiting for Johnny and Roy to arrive. They didn’t have to wait long. Roy held the door open for his friend. Johnny walked into the restaurant. The cane was still there but also present was a renewed determination that showed on the man’s face. The pain still showed on his face, too. He no longer tried to hide it from his friends. It had taken too much of his energy. The first few times each of them had accompanied him to physical therapy, he put on a brave face. Showed no fear, no pain. Except with Roy and Cap this is. They – Cap and Roy – got to see it all. When the men sat around the station comparing notes on their experiences with Johnny at and after therapy, it was like Roy and Cap had been going with a totally different man than the others had. It didn’t take long for the guys to figure out what was happening and a group meeting – including Johnny – was quickly called. That had been the end of Johnny trying to hide anything from his friends. He was grateful that his friends let him share the bad times like they had. Now, it was time to begin sharing the good times again.

“Hi, guys!” Johnny looked around the table. He suddenly stepped back and got a confused look on this face.

**Oh, no. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.** The same thought was crossing all of their minds. Cap was about to speak when Johnny broke into hysterical laughter.

“Chet, what the hell are those things?” Johnny pointed at Chet. He was nearly doubled over in laughter, pounding his cane into the floor as he laughed.

Chet stood up and put his hands on his hips. “What is your problem, Gage?”

Johnny looked up and nearly doubled over again. “Those pants! Those horrible, checkered pants! What were you thinking?”

Johnny felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Dr. Brackett with Dixie by his side. “Just what is so funny and horrible about Chet’s pants?” Dr. Brackett looked sternly at Johnny before breaking into laughter of his own.

The laughter continued. They’d never tell Johnny it was a setup – that Chet had this moment planned since that day many months ago when they’d found the second lump. The fact that Brackett and Dixie happened to stop by the restaurant on the way to the hospital was nothing but a coincidence – and in Chet’s opinion, God showing his approval for Chet’s sense of humor.

“All of this laughter has made me hungry. Think I’ll have a waffle, eggs, maybe some bacon, and a big glass of milk.” Johnny closed the menu.

After everyone ordered, Johnny looked around the table at his friends. “Guys, I hate to get serious but I want to say a couple things. First, thanks. Thanks for everything you’ve done. You’re the best. And, I want you to know that I’m coming back.”

The cheers from the men at the table echoed throughout the restaurant. Dr. Brackett and Dixie suddenly became very interested in the conversation going on two tables over. As they listened, they privately shared in the men’s joy.

“It’s gonna be tough. I know it will take time but I am going to come back. I just hope that there’s a place for me at 51 when I’m able to return.”

“Not a problem there, Johnny. McConnikee has already guaranteed it.”

Johnny’s smile lit up the whole room. “Alright then, alright!”

The celebration was interrupted by the breakfast orders arriving. As the waitress turned to leave, Johnny stopped her. “Miss, I’d like a cup of coffee too, please.”

Chet’s patience had one again been rewarded. “Hey, Gage, one lu…”.

“BLACK! I take my coffee black these days!”

The table broke into laughter. Kel and Dixie joined in. All was going to be okay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The End