"Sauce for the Goose"
By Doc Sara
Hank, Johnny, and Roy stood in front of the squad looking down on the floor of the apparatus bay at the unusual site before them. The younger paramedic turned toward the captain.
"Well, what do ya think, Cap?" John asked.
Hank did not take his eyes off of the display the trio had been witnessing since they finished the exercise routine the crew had been doing each shift now for the past three weeks and six days. "I can't say I didn't really see it coming. If I'm surprised by anything, it's the fact that it went on this long before he pushed those two over the edge."
Roy, who had been observing his fellow crew mates, turned toward his partner and captain. "Me, too, Cap. I never would've thought they'd make it past the first two weeks, and even that was stretching it a bit."
Johnny turned back to the entertainment and grinned. "I never realized just how strong Mike and Marco were. I mean, I know you've gotta have some strength to do the jobs we do, but just look at 'em. It's obvious that Marco's got some muscle power; after all, he pulls those lines all the time. Just look at those flexed muscles. But Mike? Who'd have thought it? I never want to get on his bad side. He may not look it, but he's one tough dude!"
Hank and Roy laughed. "What did ya think, Johnny; that Mike was one of those weaklings you see in the old beach movies that always has the bully kickin' sand in his face?" Roy said, trying hard to visualize anybody doing that to Mike Stoker.
"No, I didn't mean anything like that. It's just that he just seems so easy going, the kind of guy that couldn't hurt a fly."
Hank chuckled. "He is, he's not hurting anyone, and that isn't a fly."
"I know, I know," the young man responded as he turned his attention back to the sideshow that was still going on. He started to laugh. "I'll bet he thinks twice before he goes off the deep end like that again with one of his lame-brain ideas."
Hank and Roy agreed. All three men continued to watch as things played out in front of them. The captain did wonder if he should let it continue or if he should suggest to Mike and Marco to ease up a bit. With a wicked grin on his face, Hank decided to let Marco and Mike just get it all out of their systems, and hopefully it would prevent a similar situation from occurring in the future.
"C'mon guys. You're taking this way too far!" Chet continued to try to wriggle out of Mike's hold. "Cap! Roy! Johnny! C'mon fellas, help me out here!"
"I think you're managing just fine there, pal," Hank laughingly stated.
"Cap's right, Chester; you'll make it just fine," Johnny chimed in.
Chet looked at the senior paramedic. "Roy, you're the one with some compassion. Get 'em to lay off. It hasn't been that bad."
Roy just shook his head. "Oh Chet, but it has and in a big way."
Marco looked at Mike after shoving the last spoonful into the Irishman's mouth. As much as he had enjoyed helping Mike with the pay back for the month of nutritional torture they had endured at the hands of the stocky fireman, he was beginning to think that maybe Mike was enjoying this a little too much. Maybe the quiet engineer really had blown a gasket!
"That's the last of it, Mike," he said to his cohort. "I guess we're done."
Mike still held his arms around Chet in a death grip. "Not until he's swallowed that last bite. I don't want there to be a single bit of that nasty stuff anywhere in this station. For the foreseeable future, I don't want to see anything that even slightly resembles this junk or any of the other garbage he's dumped on us lately on his cooking days." He grinned down at Chet.
Chet stopped chewing momentarily and looked up at his captor. His eyes widened with fear when he noted the evil grin his shift mate was wearing. For a split second he could see Mike with long, sharp teeth and gleaming dark eyes, a lot like the wolf in the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale. This was a side of Mike Stoker that he never expected to see. The usually quiet man with the dry sense of humor was nothing like this Jeckyl and Hyde character that was holding him now while Chet's own best friend shoved their lunch into his mouth.
"Chew, Chet!" Mike ordered.
Just the tone of Mike's voice was enough to make Chet follow orders immediately. He chewed the remaining bite and swallowed it quickly. He hoped he had satisfied his tormentors. "Done, Mikey, all gone," he said, even opening his mouth to show the engineer.
"Don't call me Mikey!" he scowled. Then Mike smiled and let go of Chet. He even helped him up and pat him on the back. "Now, what are we going to have for supper tonight, Chet?"
The wide-eyed lineman rushed over to where Hank, Johnny, and Roy were standing, putting as much distance as he could between him and the two near-rabid firefighters that had just force fed him the tofu that he had planned to feed them all for lunch.
"Uh, I was thinking maybe something simple, like a nice hamburger steak smothered in gravy and fried onions, maybe even some french fries." He looked at Marco. "And maybe some refried beans or four-alarm chili?"
Mike and Marco turned to face one another, each man grinning triumphantly. "That sound okay to you, Marco?" Mike asked his partner in crime.
"Sounds good to me, Mike." The two men shook hands and turned back towards the other group.
"What's everybody standing around for? We have chores to get done," stated Mike matter-of-factly.
The engineer and lineman walked away from the others and headed across the apparatus bay to finish their assigned tasks for the day. Chet was still cowering behind Hank when the captain stepped aside.
"Well, Chester B., what have you learned from all of this?" Hank asked, trying to maintain a poker face and not bust a gut with laughter.
A very serious Chet responded. "I've learned a lot, Cap. First of all, I've learned that Marco really, really, really does love his spices and refried beans, and that I should've never tried to make him go cold turkey with this diet plan we've been trying."
Johnny and Roy could barely contain themselves. "What else did you learn there, Chet?" Johnny teased.
Chet finally stepped away from the group and started to head for the kitchen. "I also learned that Mike can scare the hell outta me! He can get that look in his eyes like David Banner gets when he starts to turn into the Hulk. Man, I don't think I'll ever try to feed him anything but raw meat from now on."
As soon as Chet left the apparatus bay, Hank turned back to Roy and Johnny. "Well, I hope Mike and Marco were able to instill in him that he should think before he dives into something."
"Cap, if nothing else they put some fear into him."
Roy laughed. "They sure did. I didn't know Chet's eyes could get that big!"
Johnny agreed. "I know! But I don't think we'll have to worry about any more health food kicks or vitamins for everything under the sun again from old Chester B." Johnny tried to maintain a serious expression, but it wasn't meant to be. He started snickering which then turned into a full blown belly laugh and was soon accompanied by his partner and captain.
When they had recovered from their fit of laughter and dried their eyes, they heard the toilet flush followed by a loud 'YESSSSSS!' coming from the latrine. They turned their still watery eyes toward the locker room and heard a jubilant Mike and Marco celebrating the flushing of the last of the alfalfa tablets.
Hank sighed with relief. As the three men separated and finished tucking in their shirts and getting ready for lunch, they wondered what they would be having now. At least they knew there was bread, peanut butter, and jelly for hard times. Roy and Johnny headed for the day room, and the captain lagged behind when he noticed his engineer and senior lineman returning. They were walking across the room with huge smiles on their faces and seemingly quite pleased with themselves. They were enjoying a lively discussion of recent events.
The captain grinned at them and shook his head. "What would I do without all my twits?"
Tha… Tha… That's all folks…
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February Picture 2005 Stories by Doc Sara
