Part 2

Johnny lay on the floor unmoving, from where he fell after Roy’s assault. He had curled into a fetal position, unable to breathe, waiting for the agony to ease up.

The pain in his groin shot through him like an electric shock, and his stomach felt as if someone had plunged a hot knife into it. Unable to process much of any thoughts at that moment, he tried to concentrate on breathing as his body was consumed in terrible pain. He had no idea how much time had passed before he realized he could inhale slightly, then exhale, which only seemed to increase the intensity of the pain in his gut.

He finally opened his tightly squeezed-shut eyes and stared at the beige shag carpeting. Trying to distract himself, he focused on the little twists of yarn right near his eyes, then refocused on some threads farther away, going back and forth.

When the pain seemed to be easing up some, he tried to push himself up off the floor with one arm. The moment he did, he was met with more sharp pains in his belly, and he collapsed back to the floor.

What is wrong with me? He wondered. One punch to the stomach shouldn’t cause this much pain. Lord knows this isn’t the first time I’ve been laid into, but I don’t ever remember it taking so long to get back up again. Must be gettin’ old.

He tried again, and was met with excruciating pain. Instead of getting better, it seemed to be getting worse. He began to panic. Something’s wrong. God, what did Roy do to me?

Moving his fingers down to his abdomen, he pulled his shirt out of his pants and gently began to probe around. His fingers touched the tender scar tissue where he had just had stitches removed from his surgery. He pressed in slightly and was rewarded with a stab of pain.

“Ahh,” he gasped, and quickly moved his fingers away. Oh, man. I think I’m in trouble. I need help.

He looked around the room trying to figure out what to do. One more time, he decided, and slowly tried to push himself up off the floor. Again, pain coursed through his middle and the room started to spin. He started feeling nauseous, and felt tiny pinpricks running through his arm. He sank back to the floor.

Spying the telephone above him on the nightstand, he decided to try to call for help. Stretching his arm up as far as he could, he clumsily got a hold of the telephone cord and pulled. The phone fell off the table and hit him on his head with a crash, before landing on the floor next to him.

“Ow! Shit!” he cursed, bring his hand up to his head to rub his temple.

Shakily he reached for the phone and laid the receiver back in its cradle. He then lifted the handset and punched the operator button.

“Front desk,” he heard a cheerful woman say.

A sharp pain shot through his middle leaving him breathless for words. “Help….I need help…please…”

“Sir? Is there a problem?”

“I….been assaulted….need hel…” his word ended abruptly and the receiver fell out of his hand as he was overwhelmed by an intense sharp burning pain in his mid section. He felt at that moment like he was going to pass out, and closed his eyes, panting. The voice coming from the receiver echoed, “Sir? Sir! Can you hear me? We’ll send someone right up!”

“Roy!” Joanne exclaimed, dumbfounded. He slowly walked toward her, as if he was walking toward the gallows.

“Hello, Joanne,” he said sadly.

“Oh my gosh, Roy! Wh-what are you doing here?” she stammered.

“Funny, that’s exactly the same thing Johnny said to me,” he answered with a bit of sarcasm.

“Johnny?!” she gasped. “You…you saw Johnny?”

“Yes, Joanne. Up in the room, your hotel room. I saw everything; I know what’s going on.”

Joanne exhaled forcefully. “Oh, shoot, Roy. How did you find out?”

Roy was a little baffled at her reaction. ‘Oh, shoot’? Is that all she has to say?

“I overheard you and Johnny talking on the phone, about your plans for today.”

“Oh, Roy. Darn it! We tried so hard to keep this from you!”

“That’s…that’s what Johnny said.” His stomach was in knots. It was true. Joanne and Johnny were having an affair. She just admitted it. She didn’t even sound sorry; didn’t even try to hide it. “Joanne, why? Why would you do this?”

“Well, Roy, you’ve been so grouchy and depressed this last month; I had to do something.”

Roy stared at her, tears beginning to form in his eyes. Joanne looked at him in wonder. “Roy, are you….crying?”

He turned his head away.

“Honey, c’mon. This was supposed to make you happy. I just wanted to do something special for you,” she said reaching around and rubbing his back, as she would sometimes do with one of the kids.

Happy? This is supposed to make me happy? What is she talking about? None of this made any sense now. Something didn’t add up.

Just then a man with a large box in his arms walked up to Joanne. “Excuse me, Mrs. DeSoto; the cake has arrived, if you’d like to see it?” he said smiling.

“Oh yes, please,” she answered, beginning to open the lid. She gasped as she opened the lid. “Oh, Roy, look. Isn’t it beautiful? And it’s your favorite, chocolate with butter cream icing.”

Roy peered down into the box and saw a large sheet cake. Across the cake it read, ‘Happy 30^th Birthday, Roy’. There was a large red fire truck with the number 51 on it, and an elaborate design of a fire rescue.

For a moment, Roy was totally perplexed. Slowly, realization began to dawn on him, and a knot started growing in his stomach. Before he could say anything, Joanne grabbed him by the arm.

“Well, as long as you’ve seen this, you might as well see everything else.” She led him through some double glass doors and out onto the pool and patio area. There, the preparations for a party were underway. A large banner hung between two decorative light poles that read ‘Happy Birthday, Roy’, and balloons were everywhere. Someone was busy setting up a long serving table at the end of the pool.

“It was Johnny’s idea to make it a pool party,” Joanne stated. “In fact, this whole thing was Johnny’s idea. Isn’t it wonderful? Now that you know, you’re just going to have to pretend you’re surprised.”

Roy could barely breathe at this point. “This….this is a surprise party….for….me?”

“Well, of course it is, silly. What did you think is was?” Joanne hooked her arm in his. “I guess you saw everything in the room that Johnny set up for us; we’re going to have some fun later,” she said with a devilish smile, and pulled him toward the doors.

Roy thought he was going to faint. There was a roaring in his ears as Joanne led him back through the glass doors and into the lobby. Oh my God. Oh my God! What have I done? What have I done!

They made it to the lobby, and Joanne looked up at Roy. He looked shell-shocked. “Roy? Honey, are you all right? What’s wrong?” she asked with concern in her voice.

Roy’s eyes were glazed. “I…I….”

A reflection of something flashing red caught Roy’s eye, and his sight was drawn outside through the glass front doors, where he saw an ambulance parked. Its back doors were open, and two attendants were getting ready to load someone on a gurney into the ambulance.

Behind them, the elevator doors swished opened, and out walked Tim Nichols, a paramedic from station 36. Carrying the trauma box and the biophone, he almost rushed past them before he realized who was standing there. He stopped briefly to greet Roy. “Hey, Roy! I’m surprised to see you here!” He looked at Joanne. “Uh, I guess he found out about the surprise, huh?”

Joanne nodded and upturned one corner of her mouth. “Unfortunately, yes. You can’t get anything past my guy.”

“That’s too bad.” He paused a moment, his face becoming serious. “Uh, Roy,” he jerked his head toward the ambulance. “I think you’d better to head to Rampart.” He licked his lips, not being very happy about being the one who had to break the news to Roy, knowing how upset Roy was going to be when he heard what happened.  “That was…your partner…that we just wheeled out of here.”

Roy looked like a deer caught in headlights. His mouth was dry; he couldn’t speak. He stared out the door as they loaded the gurney into the ambulance. He caught just a glimpse of Johnny’s dark head lying on the pillow, an oxygen mask covering his face.

Joanne’s eyes widened. “What! That was Johnny? What happened?” She craned her neck to see out the door.

Tim shook his head. “Not sure. The front desk says he called for help from one of the hotel rooms. When they found him, he was on the floor, couldn’t get up; seems someone worked him over a bit.”

Joanne was shaken. “Oh, my God!” She ran toward the doors and stopped short as she saw the ambulance doors close. She turned to look at Tim, with an expression of shock and disbelief. She walked slowly back to them. “Is he going to be all right? Who would do such a thing?”

Tim shook his head again. “I don’t know. John said he’d never seen the guy before. Look, I gotta go, guys. I’ll probably see you at Rampart.” With that, he took off out the door.

Roy and Joanne watched as the ambulance departed, sirens blaring, the squad following.

Joanne turned to look at Roy, “I don’t believe it!” she exclaimed. “Roy, we’ve got to get to Rampart.”

Roy stood motionless, swaying slightly. His mind was reeling from the implications of what he had done. Roy didn’t know how many times Joanne had called his name before he finally heard her.

“Roy! What is the matter with you? Come on, we have to go see what happened to Johnny!”

Barely able to look her in the eye, he turned toward her, a mixture of fear and panic in his eyes. Joanne had never seen this look on his face. “Roy? What is it?”

He started shaking, and knew he was going to be sick. Turning desperately, his eyes found the men’s room, and he fled, leaving Joanne standing there, totally perplexed as to his behavior.

The moment he reached the stall, he started heaving. He continued to vomit until everything was out of his stomach, including the alcohol. When he was done, he shakily got up and dragged himself to the sink, where he repeatedly splashed cold water on his face and into his mouth. He caught his reflection and stared at himself, not liking what he was seeing very much. Visions assaulted his mind, as he replayed what had happened.

His fist, slamming into Johnny’s face, the blood pouring from Johnny’s mouth, his words, full of hatred, dripping with acid. You son of a bitch! The biggest mistake I ever made was calling you a friend! I guess your stupidity must have rubbed off on me! He shuddered, as he remembered more. Everyone knows how many women you’ve slept with…I wish I’d never talked you into becoming a paramedic…it’s a miracle your childish impulsive behavior hasn’t gotten me killed…you should have stayed on the reservation where you belong…. But the most vivid memory was of the expression on Johnny’s face through it all – his look of total disbelief and shock, and worse, the incredible hurt reflected in those dark eyes.

Roy shook his head at himself and whispered, “How could I? What was I thinking? Oh my God, what have I done?”

Slowly he exited the bathroom, feeling like he was about to face a firing squad. Joanne was there outside the door waiting for him, concern in her eyes, as she turned to face him.

“Honey? Are you all right? You look ill.” She reached out to him.

He pushed her hand away. “Don’t! Stop it!” he scolded, not wanting her sympathy, sympathy he didn’t deserve. His hands went to his face, covering it. “Oh, God…oh, God….Joanne, this is all my fault.”

Joanne’s jaw dropped open. “Oh, now Roy, of course this isn’t your fault. How could you think – ”

He turned, and in a restrained angry voice said, “Because I’m the one that did this! I did that to him!” he gestured out toward where the ambulance had departed.

Joanne was totally lost. “What do you mean, ‘you did this to him’? You didn’t hurt Johnny -”

“Yes, I did!” he practically cried out.
            “I don’t understand…”

“Come on,” he took her by the hand and they went outside and sat down on a quiet bench.

Roy tried to pull himself togethr. “Joanne, I don’t know how to tell you this,” his voice was wavering. “I…I thought….I thought you and Johnny were sharing the hotel room together. I didn’t know….didn’t know…it was a party. When I overheard you talking on the phone about meeting Johnny, I thought the two of you were…”

“Were what?”

Roy’s head dropped. “having an affair.”

Joanne was incredulous. “What!”

“I came to the hotel, I saw you and Johnny check in. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I…I didn’t know what to do. I sat in the bar for a long time trying to figure it out, but I couldn’t come to any other conclusions. So, I went up to your room. Johnny was there, and I saw your overnight bag, and the flowers and champagne, and well, what would you have thought, Joanne?”

Joanne closed her eyes. “I don’t believe this,” she uttered under her breath. She looked at Roy. “So you just let him have it, huh? Didn’t ask any questions, just hauled off and hit him?”

“When I saw that skimpy negligee, I…I lost it. I couldn’t help it. I left him lying….on the floor.”

“Oh, Roy! He just got out of the hospital! How could you?” Joanne stood up and paced a few steps. She turned, anger in her eyes, “He’s your best friend! All of this,” she gestured with her arms wide, “he did for you! This was all his idea! Roy, that room you saw and everything in it was for us to enjoy later tonight after the party. It was Johnny’s gift to you!”

Roy’s eyes were full of pain and remorse. Her words felt like slaps across his face, which he knew he deserved.

 Joanne was seething, and continued, “I thought you trusted Johnny?” She turned to face him again. “And what about me? You didn’t trust me, either. How could you think…how could you possibly think Johnny and I would….Roy, we’re friends, and nothing more! I love Johnny like a brother – and that’s all!”

Roy’s voice was barely audible. “I know. I’m so sorry. I’ve made a horrible mistake. I just…the thought of losing you…made me lose my mind.” Roy leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands.

Joanne’s expression softened a bit as she digested his words. She was quiet a long time, then said, “I’m going to Rampart to find out about Johnny. If you would please talk to the desk clerk and try to cancel the room that Johnny paid for, I would appreciate it.”

“All…all right. I’ll meet you there.”

“Fine.” With that, she turned and left.

Johnny lay on the treatment room table, his half open eyes trying to focus on the overhead light. Man, I’m havin’ a déjà vu, he thought disjointedly.

Since arriving at Rampart, the pains in his abdomen had continued to get worse. It seemed to him it was almost as bad as it had been when he’d been hit by the car just several weeks ago. He tried to breathe as shallowly as he could, since deeper breaths made the pain more intense.

Dr. Early’s blurry face obstructed the view of the light overhead for a moment, and Johnny felt his eyelids being pulled back as the doctor examined his pupil reactions. It seemed like hands were probing and prodding him everywhere, and he suddenly gasped as one of those hands pressed down on his abdomen.

“A little rigid and distended,” Johnny heard Dr. Morton say.

Then, “BP’s 95 over 60,” from a female voice.

He tensed up involuntarily as he felt someone examine his private parts. Johnny felt a catheter being inserted. Oh, God, how he hated that.

 “Joe, there’s some swelling and bruising in the scrotum area.” Dr. Morton looked up. “Looks like whoever did this kicked him pretty good. Doesn’t look like there’s any permanent damage.” Joe Early met Mike Morton’s eyes and winced ever so slightly.

Then more hands were probing his abdomen. Johnny’s reaction was to try to bring his knees up and roll on his side, but strong hands kept him on his back. He heard himself moaning.

The next thing he knew the x-ray technicians were there taking pictures. When he heard Dr. Early’s voice over him again, he opened his eyes.

            “Johnny?”

            “Unghh,” was his answer. His mouth felt dry and swollen. He moved his tongue around and felt the cut in his cheek.

            “Johnny, can you hear me?”

            “Unnn…what?”

            “Johnny, it looks like you’ve got some bleeding going on in your abdominal cavity. We’re going to need to go in and do an exploratory to try to determine where it’s coming from.”

            The room began to spin and Johnny felt sick. He never dreamed he would have to undergo surgery.

            “Oh, no,” he groaned out, “not again.”

            “I’m afraid so. We’ll be taking you up to the OR shortly.” Dr. Early patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Just try to relax.” He squeezed Johnny’s shoulder and looked down at him again, remorse in his eyes. “Everything’s going to be just fine, John.” He looked up and softly said, “Mike, want to assist, again?”

            “All right, Joe,” Mike answered. They left the room momentarily.

            Fear swam over Johnny as he contemplated his predicament.

Surgery. Oh man, I can’t go through that again. I was so sick last time.

All of a sudden Johnny felt very alone and afraid. At least the other times he had been in the hospital ill or injured he’d had someone with him for a little comfort and support. Johnny’s family was gone. It had always been Roy. He was Johnny’s only family now. But this time there was no Roy. Roy had been the cause of this. His best friend. No, my former best friend. After everything Roy had said to him, it left little doubt in his mind how Roy really felt about him. He wished Dixie were there, but she had taken the day off to be at Roy’s birthday party. This time he would have to face everything alone. Involuntary tears threatened to spill from his eyes, but he shook them off, angry at his weakness showing through.

Quit acting like a big baby, Gage. Be a man, you’ve gone through worse things than this.

 A sharp pain bolted through his abdomen and he almost passed out.

            Roy watched Joanne as she turned and left for the hospital. Joanne had given him the key to their room before she left, so he headed for the elevator.

            Fitting the key in the lock, Roy opened the door and stepped inside. He stood limply for a moment, then decided to gather up the things in the room. After packing the negligee inside it, he closed Joanne’s overnight case and set it by the door. He dumped the ice out of the champagne bucket and put the bottle next to her bag. He gathered up the candles and flowers and carried them over as well. It was then that he spotted a card lying on the dresser. He picked it up. It had his name on it; he recognized Johnny’s handwriting. Pulling the flap of the envelope out, he urged the card out. It was a funny card with a joke about getting older. Inside was a note written by Johnny, which read:

            Roy, happy 30^th birthday pally! (Better you than me!)

Hope you enjoy my gift!

            Couldn’t think of anything else to get you that you needed more.

            Have a great time – you and Joanne deserve it.

            ~Johnny

            Roy stood glued to his spot with the card in his hands, staring down at it, consumed by guilt. A million thoughts flew through his mind. How could I have thought Johnny and Joanne were having an affair? Now, in this perspective, the thought of it seemed utterly absurd. Why didn’t I just listen to him? He tried several times to tell me, and I wouldn’t let him.

 I wonder how bad I hurt him? It must have been bad, or he wouldn’t have called for a squad. Could I have hit him that hard? Suddenly it occurred to Roy that he had punched Johnny right where he’d had surgery, and he felt sick again. Oh no. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. What if I damaged something? It must have hurt like hell getting hit where he’d been operated on. Oh, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna fix this? A terrifying thought came to him. I might not be able to fix it.

            It took two trips to get everything out of the room and loaded into his car. Luckily, the desk clerk agreed to refund Johnny’s money given the circumstances. At least one thing had gone right.

            A sense of urgency came over Roy and he increased his speed as he drove toward the hospital. He continued to think. How will Johnny react when he sees me? Will he accept my apology? Johnny’s always been quick to forgive, but this time is different. How’s he ever gonna forget everything I said to him? And what I did! What about Joanne? Will she be able to forgive me? What if I really lose my marriage over this? He swallowed. I can’t think about that right now.

            Roy was perplexed about another thing. Why did Johnny tell 36’s paramedics he didn’t know who hit him? Was he trying to protect me? Why would he do that after what I did to him? I don’t get it. Another scary thought occurred to him. What’s gonna happen to me? When headquarters gets word of this…I could be suspended at the least, or even lose my job! Everything I’ve worked for…gone. What if Johnny presses charges against me? I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I could go to jail! He shook his head. Oh, what a mess I’ve made!

            Johnny felt himself being wheeled out of the treatment room, then his gurney stopped and it was parked momentarily in the hallway against the wall.

            What are they waiting for? Maybe an elevator. He laid there for what seemed like forever, but no one reappeared. Oh, I wish they’d come back and take me outta here. I just wanna get this over with. He hated waiting in the hallway where everyone walking by could stare at him. He laid his arm without the IV in it across his eyes.

            He heard footsteps close by, then a soft hand touching his shoulder. Moving his arm away from his face, he opened his eyes. There stood Joanne, a warm smile on her face. He was never so glad to see anyone in his life.

            “Hey,” she said softly. She could tell he was frightened and in pain, and moved her hand down to grasp his. He held on tightly. “How’re you doing?”

            He tried to smile a crooked grin at her and was only half successful. “Been…better. That guy really…nailed me.”

            Joanne’s smile left her face.

            “They’re takin’ me to surgery…in a few minutes.”

            “Surgery!” Joanne was mortified. “Wh-why do you need surgery?”

            Johnny winced as pain swept over him again. He squeezed Joanne’s hand tighter. “They…they think I’m bleeding…in my abdomen.”

            “Oh, Johnny, I - I’m so sorry! I - I don’t understand what got into Roy. I can’t comprehend how he could do this to you. It’s so unbelievable.”

He glanced at her warily. “What’re you…talkin’ about? I never…seen the guy before…that hit me.”

Joanne narrowed her eyes at him, like she did when she knew one of her kids was telling a fib. “Johnny, Roy already told me everything. I know he did it.”

Johnny knew he couldn’t fool her by the look on her face. He was quiet a moment, then said softly,  “Joanne…don’t…tell anyone…it was Roy, okay?”

“Johnny, don’t you try to protect Roy. He has to be responsible for his actions.”

“I’m not… protecting…him, I’m protecting…you, and the kids. Please.”

The two orderlies were back and started to move the gurney toward the elevator. Joanne walked along side it slowly, still holding Johnny’s hand. With her other hand she brushed Johnny’s hair off his forehead, then gently leaned down and kissed him there. “We’ll talk about it later,” she said softly. “You just…well…concentrate on feeling better, okay?”

The elevator doors were open and they wheeled Johnny inside. “Kay,” he answered, barely audibly.

Sonya Evans stood leaning against the nurse’s station with her arms folded in front of her, as she observed the interchange between the two. She was sure she recognized the woman as Roy DeSoto’s wife. She had seen them together recently at Dr. Brackett’s birthday party not too long ago. She watched as the elevator doors closed and Joanne was left alone, a look of worry and regret on her face.

Roy pulled into the parking lot at Rampart, dreading what he would find out about Johnny. He got out and walked toward the emergency room entrance. Fear pulled at him, making him want to slow his pace, but that same fear made him increase his stride as he entered the building and made his way down the familiar corridor. So many times he had traversed this hallway with  confidence born of the experiences he had obtained as a paramedic. But this time was different; he wasn’t here to help save the life of someone he had rescued, instead, he was here to learn how much  physical damage he had done to someone else. He was scared to death to find out how badly Johnny might be hurt.

As he neared the ER, he saw Joanne sitting in one of the hard plastic chairs, lost in thought. She hadn’t noticed Roy until he stood almost right in front of her, and then she looked up at him, her eyes reflecting sadness and worry, with an underlying hint at her anger.

Roy lowered himself into the chair next to Joanne. He found it hard to look into her eyes. Swallowing, he asked, “How is he?”

Joanne hesitated. Despite the fact that she was angry with Roy, she could see the enormous remorse in his eyes, and regretted having to give him the news. She knew it would devastate Roy once she told him about the surgery, and that he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to Johnny. “He’s…..they took him to surgery.”

Roy’s eyes grew wide with panic. “Surgery! Why? What for?”

“They think he had a bleed somewhere, inside, at the surgical site.”

Roy closed his eyes and turned away from her. He put his hand up to his eyes, covering them. He turned back to her. “What else did they say?”

“I didn’t talk to the doctors. I talked to Johnny just before they took him up. He told me.”

“You saw Johnny? What…what did he say? How did he look?”

Joanne glared at Roy. “Well, his lip was cut and swollen from where you hit him, and….well…..he was in a lot of pain.”

Roy looked down guiltily.

“Roy, there’s something else.”

Roy’s head jerked up, expecting more bad news. “What?”

“Well, for the life of me I don’t know why, but your partner specifically asked me not to tell anyone that you were the one that did this.”

“What? W-why?”

“I don’t know, Roy. He said he was trying to protect me and the kids.”

“Oh.” Roy looked away, thinking. That made him feel worse. It was just like Johnny to do something like this. His partner had a huge heart and even after all the things Roy had said and done, Johnny still cared enough about his family to want to protect them.

“So I would suggest you don’t say anything to anyone until you have a chance to talk to him.”

Some part of Roy was glad that Johnny didn’t want anyone to know it was him; the thought of everyone knowing what he had done would be totally humiliating. Then there was another part of Roy that knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this to himself. He had done something terribly wrong, made a terrible mistake, and he wouldn’t feel right if his deed went unpunished. He deserved to be punished.

Joanne looked at her watch and appeared startled at the time. “I’ve got to go get the kids. They should be at Emily’s by now, but she can’t keep them there long.” She stood to go.

“Joanne – “

“I’ve also got a lot of phone calls to make. I have a party to cancel. Would you please call me when you find out something about Johnny?”
            Roy nodded glumly. “Joanne….I’m so sorry. I – “

“We’ll talk later. Now’s not the time. I have to go.” With that, she spun on her heel and left him standing there.

Johnny squinted under the bright lights in the operating room as he was transferred to the table. The room was cold, and the antiseptic smell filled his nostrils, making him shiver. Masked doctors and nurses stood all around him, only their eyes visible, while preparing for the surgery. Dread filtered through him, although it was somewhat dulled by the sedative they have given him earlier. Every time he had lain on this table, a sense of foreboding filled him. The thought of something going wrong and him never waking up was terrifying.

He heard someone call his name, and saw Doctor Early’s kind eyes looking down at him. He could tell he was smiling by the telltale crinkles at the corners of his eyes.

“Johnny, we’re ready. This is Dr. Snow.” Dr. Early gestured with a gloved hand to a man standing behind Johnny’s head. Johnny realized the man’s hands were settled on either side of his head.  “He’ll be taking care of putting you in slumberland today.”

“Kay,” Johnny slurred. “Juz make sure you wake me up when it’s over.”

Dr. Snow laughed. “You’ve got a deal. Okay, John,” he placed a rubbery black mask over Johnny’s mouth and nose. “Now I just want you to breathe deep, okay?”

Johnny felt like he was being smothered as the sickening smell of the anesthesia permeated his senses. He felt like jumping off the table, but felt the doctor’s hands resting on his shoulders.

From somewhere far away, he heard Dr. Snow say, “Can you count backwards from 100 for me, John?”

“Uhnnnn….one hundred…..ninety-nine…..ninety…eight…..nine….ty…..four…..eighty….” That was the last number Johnny could think of before he was surrounded by darkness.

Joanne made the drive home rapidly, her mind in a whirl. She still couldn’t believe that Roy actually thought she and Johnny were having an affair. In a strange way, she felt flattered that not only was Roy so jealous at the thought of her being with someone else, but also that he obviously thought she was attractive and desirable enough to be wanted by another man. On the other hand, she knew that Roy had always found her beautiful because he often told her so. At least, he used to, before he started getting depressed.

She smiled to herself thinking that her man was actually willing to fight for her, but her smile quickly faded as she recalled who her husband had fought, and what he had done to him.  Joanne was also terribly disheartened by the fact that Roy’s birthday surprise that they had worked so hard on, was now ruined. Tears came to her eyes upon realizing that the wonderful evening in the hotel room that Johnny had planned for the two of them was not going to happen now. Joanne had been looking forward to it immensely, and disappointment flooded through her. She pulled into the driveway of her neighbor, Emily’s, house, and went to the door to collect her children.

Roy sat in the waiting room lost in his thoughts, while he waited for word on his friend. Former friend, probably, he thought gloomily. After a while, he decided to ask one of the nurses at the desk if they would please let him know when there was any information on Johnny.

“Are you a family member?” she had asked.

Roy stared at her a moment, then mumbled, “Yeah, he’s uh….my brother. I’m, uh, listed as next of kin.”

“Certainly, sir. What’s your name?”

“Roy DeSoto.”

The nurse smiled. “Okay, Mr. DeSoto, I’ll have the Dr.Early come and speak to you when they’re finished.”

“Thanks,” Roy said barely audibly, then turned away to reclaim his hard plastic seat.

After Roy walked away, the nurse did a double take. How can he be his brother when his last name is different? Hm…weird.” She went back to her duties, and Roy went back to his chair.

The first thing Johnny became aware of was that he was going to throw up. As his stomach clenched and heaved, he felt himself being lifted onto his side, his head supported, then the revolting material that was in his stomach forced its way out.

When it was over, he was eased back into his original position, his abdomen aching from the abuse. His head was swimming, and he heard noises that sounded like insects. Through a fog, he heard someone speaking to him, but had no idea what the person was saying. Groggily, he forced his eyes open, and tried to figure out where he was. A dark-haired nurse was over him, looking down into his face, talking. She looked up to speak to someone else, and he heard her say, “….waking up, doctor…” She patted his shoulder, then Johnny realized she was gone. 

Confused, his thoughts were jumbled. What is going on? I think I’m at Rampart…looks like the recovery room. Oh, man, I remember now. I got hit by that car.

Then Dr. Early’s face appeared above him, a small smile playing at his features. The doctor laid his hand on Johnny’s arm. “Glad to see you’re awake John. Everything went fine. Try to get some rest, and I’ll stop by later and talk to you.”

Johnny responded to Dr. Early’s comments by throwing up again. His face turning to an expression of concern, Dr. Early quickly ordered some medication to counteract Johnny’s nausea. Continual vomiting was not something that he needed right now.

Dr. Early exited the elevator doors to search for Roy DeSoto, and found him sitting in a waiting room chair, his head leaning back against the wall, eyes closed.

DeSoto nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard Dr. Early’s voice. “Roy?”

Roy’s eyes snapped open and he quickly stood up, nearly tipping the chair over, and almost losing his balance himself. Dr. Early noted the man looked almost haggard, and smiled. “Everything went fine, Roy. John’s going to be just fine.”

Roy let out a huge breath, and looked down at the floor.

Dr. Early continued. “It was just what we thought. He had a tear inside his abdominal cavity that was bleeding. We repaired it, and it should heal with time.”

Roy looked up. “How much time?”

Joe Early considered the question. “I’d say he should be able to get back to work in four or five weeks. We’ll probably keep him here for five days or so for observation, then he’ll be able to go home.”

Roy nodded, but Joe Early noted he still looked miserable. Lifting his hand, he gave a quick squeeze to Roy’s upper arm and said, “There’s nothing to worry about, Roy. Johnny will recover fine.”

Roy smiled a ghost of a smile. “Is…is he in a room yet?”

“No, Roy, he’s still in recovery. He should be getting out of there in about a half hour. Then, he’ll go up to the fourth floor.” Dr. Early turned to leave. “Take it easy, Roy.”

“Thanks, doc.” Roy sighed.

Now what? He was lost as to what to do next. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to see Johnny for a little while, he decided to go outside and get some air.

Once outside, he started walking. He walked through the parking lot, then out to the sidewalk in front of the hospital. Oblivious to everything, he continued on until he had walked several blocks away. An hour and a half later, he found himself back at Rampart.

He thought about getting in his car and leaving, knowing that he was probably the last person in the world that Johnny would want to see. But he also knew that there wouldn’t be anyone else there for Johnny tonight, and desperately felt that he needed to see Johnny, if only for a moment, to apologize at least. Standing in front of the elevator, he punched the button to go up.

Johnny lay quietly in his hospital bed, nearly asleep after a long bout of post-operative nausea and vomiting. The pain after the surgery had been bad, the retching had made it worse, and he had been given some medication a short while ago in hopes of easing it. He also was very sore in his groin area, and had asked the nurse for an ice pack, but she had not arrived with it. He figured she had forgotten, and was too tired to push the call button to ask for it again.

A short time before he had left the recovery room, he had remembered everything that had happened to him. He hadn’t been hit by a car; that had happened weeks ago. No, the awful truth of what had transpired stormed back into his memory with a jolt.

Not wanting to contemplate the implications behind what had happened at the current moment, he shoved those thoughts into the back of his mind, as he was forced to deal with the unpleasantness of the surgery he had just gone through. Coping with the pain and nausea were enough to keep him from thinking about anything else.

He heard a soft bump and was cognizant of the fact that the door to his room was opening. Probably another nurse coming in to bug me; I wish they’d just leave me alone. I was almost asleep, damn it. Johnny reasoned that it was either another nurse, or Doctor Early coming in to speak to him about the surgery, since Johnny had requested that he have no visitors.

Roy had made it up to Johnny’s floor and was standing in front of the door to Johnny’s room, when he saw the “no visitors at this time” sign on Johnny’s door. The sign gave him a good excuse to turn around and leave, but he found his feet were firmly implanted where they were. Roy looked down the hallway; no one had noticed him, all the nurses were busy. He decided to go on in, just for a minute, he told himself. Nervously, he pushed on the door and went in.

Johnny was lying in bed at a slight incline, and situated somewhat on one side, his face turned slightly away from Roy.  His eyes were closed; he looked asleep. Roy swallowed, taking in the paleness of Johnny’s skin, then the swollen lip and bruises on his face.

Startled out of his sleep by the soft bump of the door, Johnny opened his eyes, and groggily turned his face toward his visitor. Upon realizing it was Roy, he turned his head away, and retorted, “Come to….finish off the job?”

Roy lowered his head to look at the floor. I deserved that. He took a step toward Johnny’s bed. “No, I didn’t,” he said softly.

“Then….why don’t you leave, or can’t you….read the sign on the door that says ‘no visitors’?” Johnny winced, suddenly feeling more uncomfortable with Roy present.

“Yeah, I can read. And I will leave…in, in a minute, Johnny. But first, I just wanna say I….I’m sorry, I’m so….sorry….for what I did.”

Johnny was starting to feel nauseous again. Roy’s being there was upsetting him. “Okay, you said it, now get the hell out.” He was panting slightly.

Roy swallowed. “O-okay. Just one more thing. Johnny, I want you to know….everything I said….I didn’t mean any of it. I…I  don’t know how, but I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Johnny was now feeling horrible, and knew he was going to get sick again. He desperately wanted Roy to leave. Raising his voice, he croaked, “Roy, get the fuck out!” He felt saliva building up in his mouth.

Roy realized Johnny was in distress. He worriedly stepped forward. “Johnny? Are…are you okay?”

Johnny lunged for the emesis basin that was on the tray table. “Get ou –“ he tried to shout. Before he could finish the word, his stomach rebelled and he heaved into the basin. Roy stood frozen, the guilt almost consuming him. Johnny heaved again, groaning in pain between stomach contractions.

Then Roy heard someone enter the room. He recognized her immediately, her stern face set in an angry expression, her heavily made-up eyes blazing. He glanced down at her name tag, ‘E. Hornbostle, R.N.’. Yep, it was her. She pointed to him as she made her way over to Johnny with authority. “You – Out! Now!” It was the same nurse that Johnny had had several weeks ago when he was in the hospital after the hit and run accident. Roy swallowed, frozen in place for a moment.

Johnny lay back panting, and was obviously miserable from his latest bout with nausea, while the nurse began to assist him. She turned back toward Roy, and seeing him still standing there exclaimed, “Are you going to leave, or am I going to have to throw you out?”

Roy nodded slowly, then hastily retreated from the room to go call his wife.

Johnny was feeling so badly that he scarcely noticed when the nurse lifted his covers and situated the cold pack between his legs.

When Roy returned home that night, it was with a heavy heart. The house was quiet when he walked in.

Joanne had put the kids to bed early that night, so that she and Roy could talk. She had been at a loss of how to explain to them that the big party for their father had been cancelled, and so she had tried to be as vague as possible. She certainly didn’t want to tell them that their father had beat up their Uncle Johnny, and that he was in the hospital.

He went in search of his wife, and when he found her she was outside on the back deck in the dark drinking a glass of wine. He took a chair and pulling it up beside hers, sank down into it. It was time for explanations.

Joanne looked straight ahead as Roy poured his heart out to her that night, telling her everything that had been on his mind lately. He made no excuses for himself, and in fact continually berated himself. He told her about his conversations with Matt Hamilton and what he was going through, his insecurities about her new job, and even admitted his insecurities about himself. Joanne had actually laughed when Roy expressed his fears about her boss looking like Joe Gannon, the doctor on Medical Center. He told her what he had overheard her say to Johnny on the telephone that morning, and also of what he saw at the hotel. He even reminded her of the night that Johnny had been over and he had come back into his kitchen to find them in an embrace. Everything had looked so damning. When he explained it to her the way he had seen it, she began to realize what it really must have looked like to Roy.

Slowly, Joanne’s anger melted away. She knew that he had been under a great deal of stress lately, what with Johnny almost getting killed, then having to work with Brice, then with picking up extra shifts to make ends meet. Deep down she knew the reason that Roy didn’t want her to get a job was because he was too proud to admit that his wife had to work because his salary was inadequate. She knew she didn’t need to rebuke Roy, he was punishing himself enough. After all, what he did was out of love for her.

“When I thought I had lost you, I went crazy,” Roy had confessed, tears building in his eyes.

That did it for Joanne. She didn’t think it was necessary for Roy to kick himself any more, and so she forgave him. With a hug, Joanne assured her husband that she loved him as much as he loved her, and that she would never cheat on him. She had ended by threatening, “If you ever mistrust or doubt me again, Roy DeSoto, I swear, I’ll….I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” he said with the tiniest traces of a smile on his face.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think of something,” she answered. Then she stood up.

“Where are you going?” Roy asked.

“Well, it does happen to be your birthday, so I thought at least we could eat the cake we got for you. I’ll be right back.”

Roy relaxed a little then, incredibly relieved that at least his wife had forgiven him. Johnny might be another story.

Joanne went in and got two pieces of cake, brought them out with a refill on her wine and a glass for Roy.  “Here,” she handed him the wine, “I think you could use this.”

He took it from her gratefully. As they ate the cake, Joanne offered, “Maybe we can save some of this cake and give it to Johnny when he’s feeling better.”

Roy’s face turned solemn. “You’ll have to give it to him. I don’t think he’s ever gonna speak to me again.”

“Well, I can’t say as I would blame him,” Joanne responded. “But, you know how forgiving Johnny is. I think once you explain to him what happened like you explained it to me, with time, he’ll forgive you.”

Roy put the half-eaten piece of cake on the patio table, and rested his elbows on his knees. His head bowed, and his fingers were loosely clasped together. Almost inaudibly, he said to the ground, “Joanne, I said some awful things to him this afternoon, when I thought….”

Joanne raised her eyebrows. “What kinds of things? What did you say to him?”

Too ashamed to admit the atrocious accusations he had made, Roy said,  “I….I can’t…..I can’t tell you. They were awful though, and I’ll never be able to take them back.”

Joanne couldn’t imagine what Roy had said to Johnny, and didn’t think she wanted to know. “I don’t know what to tell you, honey. But give Johnny a chance, he might surprise you.”

“When I saw him tonight, he…told me to get out.”

Joanne sighed. “Well, Roy, he just had surgery. It’s not exactly surprising that he would react that way. Give him time.”
            “Yeah, okay.”

“Look, I have the day off tomorrow. Why don’t I go talk to him, okay?”

Roy brightened a little. “Thanks, honey.” With that, he reached out and hugged her. “I love you so much,” he murmured. At that moment Roy was overwhelmed at how lucky he was to have married such a loving and understanding woman.

“I love you too,” she replied.

The building was burning out of control, and Captain Stanley had ordered his men to evacuate.  Johnny had started to follow Roy out of the fully engulfed structure, when Roy turned on him, his eyes blazing in anger even through the thick smoke.

“No, Johnny, you’re staying here!” Roy ordered, bring his hand up and shoving Johnny backwards.

Johnny stared at him in disbelief, as he tried to regain his balance.  “C’mon, Roy. Quit kidding around! The Cap ordered us out! This building is gonna go any second!”

Roy descended upon Johnny, and reaching out, grabbed his air mask and yanked it off of his face. He then drew his fist back and smashed it into Johnny’s cheek. Johnny fell backward onto the floor, stunned at the assault. He began coughing as the smoke filled his lungs. He tasted blood in his mouth. With watering eyes he looked up at his partner in alarm, as Roy drew back his foot and kicked Johnny viciously. Johnny gasped and recoiled from the pain Roy had inflicted on him.

“You’re gonna stay here, partner,” he said sarcastically, “and burn to death. That’s what you get when you try to steal somebody else’s wife.”

Frantically, Johnny tried to reason with his partner as Roy turned to leave. “But – but I didn’t’ -- !”

Roy spun around. “Liar! I saw the two of you check into the hotel room together!”

“Roy! NO! You don’t understand! You’re wrong! We didn’t’ – “

“Bye, Johnny. Have fun in Hell!” Roy then kicked Johnny again, breaking his ribs, incapacitating him.

Agony exploded through Johnny’s body as he slumped down. In his anguish he heard the ceiling begin to crack.

“Bye, Johnny,” Roy called, and waving, ran out of the building.

The ceiling collapsed and Johnny felt hundreds of pounds of burning lumber and plaster fall on top of him, burying him. “NOOO!” he screamed, as he felt his body catch on fire.

Johnny jolted upward from his bed, his arms flailing. Sweat poured from his body, and his heart was pounding, as he gained some coherency. His eyes were wildly darting around the room, and he was panting, when he slowly realized he was dreaming.

Oh man. He looked around at his surroundings, and comprehension settled in on him.

The room was dark. The clock read 3:05. Running his hand through his hair, he gingerly settled back against his pillow, now wide awake. Pain from the surgery seeped into him.

The dream had now caused Johnny to start thinking about what had happened the previous day. And with those thoughts, came insomnia for the rest of the night.

Roy got home from work early that morning, and tip-toeing into the house, decided to surprise Joanne before she went to work. As he silently crept through the living room, he began to hear muffled sounds coming from the bedroom – his and Joanne’s bedroom.

Puzzled as to what was making the noise, he peered around the doorway and into the darkened room. What he saw shocked and devastated him to the core.

The noises he had heard were the moans coming from Joanne and Johnny. Standing in the doorway, he watched in disbelief as his wife and best friend lie naked on the bed together. Both were panting and moaning, and had their arms and legs wrapped around each other, as Johnny furiously pumped into her.

Joanne suddenly looked up and saw Roy standing in the doorway. “Roy!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

It took Roy a moment to find his voice. “I live here, remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said.

“Joanne, Johnny, how could you?” Roy pleaded.

Then Johnny looked up. “Roy, do you mind comin’ back later? We’re…ah…not quite through yet, if ya know what I mean,” Johnny said with an evil smile on his face, then continued to thrust his hips into Joanne.

“NO!” Roy exploded. “I WON’T come back later. This is MY house! You’re gonna be sorry, Johnny, for doing this to me.”

“Please, Roy. Can’t you see we’re busy?” Johnny answered, his breathing labored.

Then Joanne screamed, and Johnny spun around. Roy was calmly standing and aiming a gun at Johnny. “This’ll teach you to never mess with my wife again, Junior,” Roy said sarcastically. Then Roy raised the gun and started to pull the trigger.

“No! Roy! Wait! I can explain!” Johnny begged. “Would you just listen to me?”

“I’m sick of listening to you, Johnny; you never shut up.” Roy retorted, then pulled the trigger.

The blast echoed through the room and was so forceful that Johnny’s body flew off the bed as the bullet pierced him. Blood flew everywhere, and splattered across Joanne and Roy, dripping down them. Roy watched as Johnny’s body fell to the floor in a bloody crumpled heap. “There. That’ll teach you to keep your pants zipped,” Roy said cruelly.

Roy felt himself falling, and with a hard thump, found himself on the floor. He was breathing heavily and had a wild expression on his face. Then the light went on.

“Roy?” Joanne asked concernedly. “What happened? What are you doing on the floor?”

Roy looked up at Joanne, his heart racing. It took him a moment to figure out where he was. “Johnny – “ he started. He stared at Joanne, who was in her nightgown leaning over the edge of the bed looking at him. She had a sad but knowing look in her eyes.

She reached her hand down to him to help him off the floor. “C’mon, honey, it was just a dream. Come back to bed.”
            Roy peeled himself off the floor and shakily climbed back into bed, wide awake now.

Neither paramedic from station 51 got any sleep that night.

After a long night with little sleep, and much to John Gage’s dismay, he had been inundated with visitors that next day. Dr. Early had been in first, bright and early, to speak with Johnny about his surgery, and to find out how his patient was feeling. As expected, Johnny stated that he was tired and sore, but that at least most of the nausea had finally abated. Dr. Early informed Johnny that he would probably need the IV for a few more days, and then he would order some solid foods for Johnny to try. Dr. Early had departed with simple instructions to just rest and take it easy.

Johnny lay in bed trying to force himself to consume one of the liquids that was masquerading itself as food on his breakfast tray. Nothing looked appetizing, but he managed a few bites of orange jello. His swollen lip was tender and made it hard to eat.

Grimacing, he tried to arrange himself comfortably on the bed, with little success. The pain medicine he’d been given earlier was beginning to wear off, and he was starting to hurt again.

Shortly after his breakfast that morning, he was quite surprised when his second visitor poked her head in the room, and seeing he was awake, she tentatively entered.

The petite dark-haired nurse walked over to his bed and stood near him.

He looked up at her, his eyes dull and darkened from pain and lack of sleep. Forcing a crooked smile, he greeted her.

“Hi, Jeanette.”

“Hi, yourself. How’re you feeling?” she asked gently.

“Been better,” he answered truthfully. “I’m….kinda surprised to see you.”

Jeanette looked down. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Oh.” He looked up into her eyes. “I’m…okay. How’ve you been?”

“Good,” she nodded. “I’m doing okay.”

Johnny didn’t know what possessed him to say what he said next; he supposed it was because he was tired, depressed, and a little lonely. “I….I miss you, Jeanette.”

Jeanette looked away. “I miss you too, Johnny,” she said very softly. “It’s just that….”

“I know,” he sighed. “I guess we don’t need to go down that road again, huh?”

She didn’t answer.

Johnny continued. “I…uh…I guess things are going well for you and Mike, huh? I heard you were getting married.”

She looked up in surprise. “How did you know?”
            “Ah, you know how Rampart is;” he gave her a small version of his trademark crooked grin, “you nurses are the most gossipy group I’ve ever known. I heard it through the grapevine. Is it true?”

Yeah, I do know how gossipy the nurses are here at Rampart. Especially one or two that I know of. Oh, Johnny, I hope you never hear what some of them say about you. “Yes,” she said reluctantly, “it’s true.”

Johnny’s face fell ever so slightly. “Congratulations,” he smiled a slight crooked grin. “He’s a lucky guy.”

She smiled shyly. “Thank you, Johnny.”

There was a long uncomfortable silence between them, then she said, “So what happened to you?”

He looked away. “Ah, some guy laid into me.”

“But who? And why?”

“I dunno, Jeanette; I never saw the guy before.”

“Well, why would someone do such a thing? Were you robbed?”

Johnny looked uncomfortable, and it wasn’t an act; he really was uncomfortable. His stomach was really beginning to hurt again. “Ah, Jeanette, can we talk about this another time?”

Jeanette could see he was becoming worn out from their conversation. “Of course, Johnny. Listen, I’m going to go and let you get some rest. You take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will,” he said, his eyes sliding closed even as he finished the short sentence. Jeanette hesitated, then reached down and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He kept his eyes closed until she left the room. After she was gone, he opened them again, and reached up to touch his cheek with his fingertips, a remote sense of loss tugging at him.

Mary Lynne Smith hurriedly approached Johnny’s room, but slowed her step when she saw Jeanette Duveau exiting his room. Jeanette walked slowly, with her head down, looking like she was deep in thought. She didn’t even notice Mary Lynne as they passed each other, and Mary Lynne pondered what had transpired between the two of them. She felt just a tinge of jealousy as she continued down the hall to his room, wondering with chagrin how many other women would be in to visit Johnny during his hospital stay.

Johnny was also surprised to see Mary Lynne, but it was a welcome surprise. Although he was exhausted and in pain, he greeted her with a strained smile when she entered. She doted on him for awhile; fluffed his pillow, got him some water, adjusted his bed, and tried to make him more comfortable.

Their conversation had been almost identical to the one he’d had with Jeanette with regard to what had happened to him, and he was every bit as evasive with Mary Lynne as he had been with Jeanette.

After a time went by, Mary Lynne had to leave to meet her first patient. As she leaned down to kiss Johnny good-bye, she was a bit miffed to see the very slight trace of pink lipstick that Jeanette’s kiss had left on Johnny’s cheek. She hadn’t noticed it before; it was very faint. Her lips brushed against his, and then she departed.

By this time, Johnny was really ready to close his eyes and let sleep wash over him. He had just drifted off, when his fourth visitor abruptly entered. Johnny was jolted out of his sleep when he heard, “Excuse me, Mr. Gage?”

His eyes popped open to the vision of a police detective standing at the foot of his bed. Suddenly, he was filled with anxiety and dread upon the realization that he was going to have to lie to the police.

The detective drilled him relentlessly about what had happened the previous day. He asked him some questions two or three times, trying to trip him up. Johnny felt like he was being interrogated, and nervously started to sweat. He was terrified that the officer would know he was lying.

The officer had long learned to read body language, and he could tell that John Gage was hiding something. But Gage had answered the questions the same each time he had asked them. The officer knew this wasn’t a robbery; no money had been taken. He didn’t think it was drug related; he had checked Gage out before coming here, and he had a squeaky clean record. Besides, he was a public servant, and didn’t look like the type to be a drug trafficker. There was only one motive the officer could think of as to why a guy would get beaten up in his hotel room in the middle of the day.  Probably Gage was caught screwing another guy’s wife, and had been caught in the act. With only a vague description of the man who had beaten Gage up, the officer resigned himself to the fact that this was probably a domestic dispute, and he shouldn’t waste any more time with it.  

He finally left with a clipped “Thank you for your time.”

Johnny sighed with relief upon his departure. Suddenly all the tenseness and stress he was feeling made itself known as the pain worsened across his midsection. With a soft moan, he tried turning slightly to one side, then the other, with no relief.

Unwanted memories from the previous day began to assault him again. He tried to block them out, but couldn’t. He didn’t want to think about what had happened, because he knew he would have to face the fact that in most likelihood, his and Roy’s friendship was over. Not only was a friendship over with someone who had meant everything to Johnny, but with that would come being cut off from Roy’s family, his family, the only family he had, really. It also meant the camaraderie, the brotherhood, the trust they’d had between them, all had just been an illusion. Johnny wasn’t ready to accept the fact that a huge part of his life was now over. A part of his life that he had yearned for ever since he had lost his family years ago, and now it would likely be over. This realization momentarily took his breath away. He didn’t think he could again stand the emptiness and despair he had once felt.

Anger began to well up in him when he recalled the vicious insults that Roy had spewed at him. Damn him! All this time I thought he was my best friend, and then he turns on me! All the work and planning and money I spent on HIM trying to make his birthday happy, trying to bring him out of his depression, and THIS is the thanks I get! He actually thought I was sleeping with his WIFE! Does he really think so little of me, does he really trust me so little that he could believe I would do something like that? I thought I’d proven my friendship to him; what a chump I was.

Johnny recalled one of the worst things Roy had said to him, causing him to shake with fury. Roy had told him that he should have ‘stayed on the reservation, where you belong.’” That fucking bigot! I should have known he was just like all the others!  Johnny remembered the day a few years ago that Chet had been teasing him about his Indian heritage, and Roy had said that he didn’t want Chet to stop his jokes about Johnny because he ‘enjoyed them’. Yeah, he enjoyed them at MY expense. What kind of a friend is that? I should have seen the writing on the wall long ago.

 He looked out the window and up at the cloudy sky, not really sure who he was posing the question to, and thought, is it too much to ask to have just ONE Friend who doesn’t think of me as a low class Indian half-breed? Haven’t I had enough of that my entire life? I thought when I came to LA things would change. I guess I was wrong.

Tears built up in his eyes as his mind refused to stop the flood of mixed emotions, and he recalled the other fierce words Roy had used against him. Roy had called him childish, and impulsive, and even insinuated that Johnny had endangered Roy’s life while working with him. Then the anger pouring out of him slowed to a trickle as he reflected further on Roy’s statements. It was replaced by resignation upon the realization that, much as he hated to admit it, Roy was usually right about things. Does he really feel that way? If Roy doesn’t trust me on the job, to watch his back, if he thinks I’m reckless and unreliable, then, we’ll never be able to work together again. I can’t be someone’s partner who doesn’t trust me.

Johnny started to examine his behavior. Could Roy be right? Have I been impulsive and reckless on rescues? He thought of a few instances when maybe he had been, and started to second guess himself.

He thought of the time that he and Roy had gone to rescue a man who had driven his VW Beetle accidentally down into a steep embankment. Roy had called out to Johnny to slow down as he descended down the slope toward the car; then he had tripped and fallen, injuring his knee. Roy ended up rescuing me that day. The guy in the car was drunk – not even a scratch. What if the man had been injured seriously? I wouldn’t have been able to help Roy with him because I went and got myself hurt for being careless! What if the guy had died because I couldn’t help Roy with the treatment? Johnny pondered this to himself, then began to recall other situations where he might have been careless. What about the time I was in that building with the bomb ready to go off? Roy had to come in and get me. If I hadn’t been such a klutz, I could have gotten out of the way before those beams fell on me, and I would have gotten out. Roy could have been killed coming in to get me if that bomb went off. We just barely made it out as it was.

Then there was the time I was in the building with the gas leak. Everyone else was smart enough to get out in time – except me! I ended up falling down the stairs and breaking my leg after it exploded. Roy had to come in and get me that time, too. The building was unstable and dangerous by then; Roy risked his life again to find me.

The more he thought about it, the more instances that came to mind where he might have been careless, endangering lives. One very vivid memory was of the time that he was up high on a bridge trying to rescue a little boy who was an epileptic. Johnny hadn’t been able to calm the boy enough or get to him quickly enough to get a safety belt around his waist. The boy had ended up having a seizure and falling off the bridge. Johnny had barely been able to hold on to him as he, too, went off the bridge with the boy, only suspended by his safety belt. That time Roy had barely been able to hold on to the wildly swinging rope suspending Johnny and the boy. What if the boy had fallen to his death? What if Roy had fallen trying to save the two of them?

Other examples flooded his memory. There was the time that guy from England was riding with them. Johnny had narrowly avoided falling from a tall tower to his death when a railing broke, pulled to safety just in time by the Englishman. The man had nearly gone over the side along with Johnny while trying to rescue him.

Johnny started feeling sick as he thought of even more instances. He brought his hands to his temples as his head started pounding. Oh God, what if it is true? What if I have been reckless? Maybe Roy is right, and he just never said anything before now. He probably never would have said anything if he hadn’t been drinking. Sometimes people’s real feelings come out when they’re drunk.        If Roy feels this way, then how do the other guys feel about working with me? Johnny began to sweat as this revelation began to dawn on him. How could I have not seen this before? I always thought I was being careful. Wait a minute; if I am reckless enough to be a danger to the crew, then wouldn’t the Cap have said something to me? I think he would have, but…I don’t know…I just don’t know! Johnny leaned his aching head back into the pillow and closed his eyes.

Another accusation that Roy had made began to plague him. Roy had spoken of his sleezy reputation with women. Johnny heard Roy’s voice echo the venom he had spewed in his mind. “Don’t look so indignant, Johnny. Surely you’re aware of the reputation you’ve acquired. Everyone knows how many women you’ve slept with…”

Johnny cringed as he contemplated this statement that Roy had made. How would Roy know how many women I’ve been with? I never talk about my sex life with him… maybe with Chet once in a while. Would Chet have said something to Roy? Nah, I rarely talk about sex with Chet, except maybe once or twice when we’ve been out drinking. Roy might know how many women I’ve dated, but he has no clue as to whom I’ve slept with.

Have I been promiscuous? Jeez, I didn’t think I was any worse than any other single guy. I mean, I’ve had my share, but it hasn’t been that many. Most of the women I’ve dated have been nurses at Rampart. Oh man! What if the girls I’ve dated have talked about it! God, who have I slept with from Rampart? Let’s see, there was Jeanette, of course, and Lisa, and Michelle…oh, and now, Mary Lynne. Then there was Valerie…no, wait…Valerie wasn’t a nurse. But there have been lots of girls I’ve dated that I didn’t sleep with! Not that I didn’t want to, he thought slyly.

He remembered Mary Lynne’s statement to him when he had tried to make a pass at her at their first meeting. “Mr. Gage, you should save all your energy for your recovery. I’ve already heard all about you from all of the other women on the staff.” He had been taken aback at her comment, and wondered exactly what she was referring to. Now, those words were coming back to haunt him. What exactly did she hear? Are the nurses talking about me behind my back? What kinds of things are they saying about me? Oh, God, what if they’re comparing notes? What if those girls I dated are blabbing about what we did together? Johnny started feeling nauseous and short of breath as he contemplated exactly what kinds of rumors might be going around about him. He’d never had a clue. What if they were all laughing at him, mocking him, behind his back? Most of them acted nice to his face, but what did they really think about him? The thought of his peers and co-workers secretly having a total lack of respect for him was overwhelming. Oh my God, how can I face anyone?

Feelings that had once been a daily occurrence as a child, but that he had thought were long faded began to resurface. Memories of hatred and bigotry that had been directed at him growing up, circumstances that he had been powerless to do anything about simply because of what he was, came crashing down on him. It was happening again. The mockery, the blame, the insults, the humiliation of being disliked because he didn’t fit in anywhere; all of it poured down upon him.

Distraught with worry, the pain finally demanded one hundred percent of his attention, as it became almost unbearable. With his fears clouded for the moment, he finally broke down and pushed the call button for the nurse. He hoped the pain medication would not only help his discomfort, but also block out a worse, more unbearable pain he was feeling.

Johnny slept through lunch, having exhausted himself with worry and self-doubts. He wouldn’t have been able to eat anything anyway. Around 1:00 his fifth visitor walked in – Joanne DeSoto.

Quietly, she approached Johnny’s bed, not wanting to wake him. The toe of her shoe accidentally bumped up against the leg of the bed, and startled him awake. He jumped slightly, his half-open eyes searching the room for the cause of his abrupt awakening. Joanne moved toward him.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Johnny was groggy from the pain medication he had been given not long before. “S’okay,” he mumbled; his voice was scratchy.

Joanne pulled the chair up next to the bed and sat down. Johnny looked terrible, almost worse than he had the last time he was in the hospital after being hit by the car. His face was wrought with exhaustion, stress, and pain. Touching his arm lightly, she asked, “How’re you feeling?”

Johnny licked his lips. “’bout the same as I did the las’ time I got out of surgery.” Like shit.

“I’m so sorry, Johnny,” she said shaking her head.

“Iz not your fault, Joanne.”

Joanne smiled an awkward smile and looked down.

“I know,” she paused, trying to gather her thoughts, trying to decide whether to bring up her husband’s name. “Johnny…… Roy’s……been beside himself with guilt. He feels so awful about what he’s done. He didn’t get any sleep last night worrying about you.”

“I’m touched,” Johnny said sarcastically.

“Oh, Johnny, I know you’re angry. And you have every right to be. What Roy did was inexcusable, but I think once you hear the reasons for it, at least maybe you’ll be able to understand why he did it.”

“I don’t give a damn why he did it. It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s done. There’s nothing anyone can do to undo it.”

Joanne was frightened by the finality of Johnny’s statement. Maybe Johnny wouldn’t be able to forgive Roy. Tentatively, she said, “Roy told me….he said some terrible things to you – things he didn’t mean.”

Johnny closed his eyes, his jaw firmly clenched, and slightly shook his head, as if that action could somehow allow him to escape the horrible memories.

“Johnny, Roy wants the chance to apologize.”

“He already did that laz night.”

“I know, but I mean, when you’re feeling better, Roy wants to make things right, Johnny. Your friendship is one of the most important things in the world to him.” Joanne saw the mixture of hurt and skepticism written across his face. “Johnny, look, I was furious with Roy when I found out what he did to you – and – what he did to me. At first, I couldn’t understand how he could possibly have thought that you and I were having an affair. He didn’t trust either one of us, and I know how much that hurts.”

“More than you know,” Johnny quipped, touching his swollen lip and cheek.

Joanne suspected a much deeper meaning behind Johnny’s statement. “The point is, after Roy explained everything to me, I understood how he could have drawn the wrong conclusion from everything he heard and saw. I….forgave him, Johnny.”

“Good for you. But you’re not the one lyin’ in a hospital bed, Joanne.”

            Joanne sighed. She suspected that Johnny’s forced hospital stay was only minor compared to the emotional trauma he was feeling. However, she couldn’t very well argue with Johnny. Here he was, in the hospital again, miserable and in pain, and not just physical pain, because of her husband. Maybe he just needs time, she thought.

Johnny continued, “It’s not just this, Joanne. I found out Roy hasn’t….trusted me for a long time. All this juz made me realize that; and also, what Roy….really….thinks of me.” Johnny’s eyes took on a look of such sorrow that Joanne had to look away from him.

When she looked back at him she said, “What did he say to you?”

Johnny shook his head, “You don’ wanna know. It doesn’t matter anyway,” he looked away toward the wall.

Joanne decided to try one last time to get through to Johnny, then she would leave him alone. “Johnny, I don’t know what Roy said to you, but whatever it was, it was said in the heat of the moment. I’m sure Roy didn’t mean any of it.” She saw Johnny shaking his head and continued, “Johnny, I know how Roy feels about you. You’re like a brother to him, the best friend he’s ever had – ever. I mean that. And as far as trust goes, there’s no one Roy trusts more than you, both at work and away. I just hope….that you’ll give him a chance to explain….and make amends.” She paused, trying to gauge his reaction. “Is it….would it be okay if Roy came by to see you?”

Johnny didn’t answer at first; he just kept staring at the wall. Then, he said very quietly, “I don’t wanna see Roy right now.”

Oh well, Joanne thought, at least he didn’t say never. Maybe I’m getting through to him, a little.

“I understand,” she replied, and gently squeezed his shoulder. “ I don’t want to tire you out, Johnny. I think I better go. There’s just one other thing….”

Johnny looked back at her with tired eyes.

“You mentioned to me yesterday not to tell anyone what Roy had done. But Roy doesn’t want to keep this from everyone, Johnny. He wants to come clean. He doesn’t feel you should lie to protect him.”

This statement obviously upset Johnny. He pushed himself up in the bed, grimacing. “NO. No way. I don’t want anyone knowing about this. If headquarters finds out, he could be suspended, even lose his job. Then what would happen to you and the kids?”

Joanne’s expression softened a bit. “I appreciate your concern for us, Johnny, but I don’t think that would happen. Roy’s a valued employee; there would probably just be a reprimand. Besides, I’ve got a job now, and – “

Johnny shook his head vehemently. “No, Joanne! Look, I’ve already lied to the police. I can’t go back and change what I said. Let’s just….let it drop, okay?”

Joanne grasped Johnny’s hand, realizing not only that he seemed to be in more pain, but that she had upset him. Reluctantly, she conceded. “All right, Johnny. I’m sorry I upset you. You get some rest, okay?”

He nodded, and sunk back into his pillow. Joanne leaned over and kissed his forehead, then turned to leave. Joanne didn’t realize the real reason that Johnny didn’t want anyone to know what had really happened. The truth was, Johnny was deathly afraid that if word got out that Roy DeSoto had beaten up John Gage because he thought Johnny was having an affair with his wife, everyone would believe it, even if Roy denied it was true. After all, who were they going to believe, Roy DeSoto, ‘perfect paramedic and fireman’, or John Gage, who had a reputation he hadn’t even known about until now, ‘untrustworthy sleeze-bag paramedic’.

Joanne arrived home a short while later, and with a deep sigh, plopped her purse down on the living room chair while she wriggled out of her jacket. The house was very quiet.

“Roy?” she called, then made her way into the kitchen. She spotted her husband out on the deck, sitting at one of the patio tables. He was busy writing something on a piece of paper. Joanne slid the door open and walked outside. She hugged herself, as it was chilly out without a jacket on. Roy didn’t seem to notice the cool air as he wrote. He looked up at her, his eyes slightly hopeful.

“How is he?” he asked.

Joanne looked down, then out into the yard. “Well, he’s….doing all right I guess….considering.”

“Considering? Considering what? That his so-called best friend and partner beat him so badly that he needed surgery?” Roy slumped in his chair and leaned his head against his hand.

Joanne didn’t know what to say. “Roy….”

“Joanne, how was he…really? Do you think….is there any chance…..that I could go talk to him?”

“Well, as far as how he was doing, he was…in some pain – but that’s to be expected right after surgery. And as to you talking with him, he said….he didn’t want to see you right now.”

Roy sagged further. Johnny wasn’t going to forgive him, he was sure.

“Roy, he said he didn’t want to see you ‘right now’,” she emphasized ‘right now’. “That doesn’t mean never.”

Roy didn’t answer her.

“Look, Roy, just give him some time. He’s hurting right now, physically and emotionally. Let him get himself together, then go talk to him.” She looked over his shoulder to see what he was writing. “What are you writing?”

Roy hesitated a moment. “I’m…I’m writing a letter….to Johnny. Maybe if he won’t talk to me….maybe he’ll read what I have to say.” He looked up at her, “I’ve got to do something, Joanne. Will you…take this to Johnny….will you go see him tomorrow, and give this to him?”

Joanne smiled sadly at Roy, “Of course I will, honey. Maybe that’s a good idea.”

Roy nodded, then went back to his letter. He had a lot to say, and he had already decided that later on, he had someone else he was going to pay a visit to – that he needed to pay a visit to.

When Chet and Marco walked into Johnny’s room that afternoon, Johnny had a very hard time disguising how distressed he was to see them. The last thing he needed right now were more visitors who were probably going to question him about what happened, forcing him to think about things he didn’t want to think about. Instead, he forced a welcoming smile at the guys, his face close to betraying him. By this time, he was totally exhausted, and the pain was back. He had gotten less than two hours of rest so far that day, after a night of insomnia. He had dark circles under his dull, lifeless eyes, and he looked pale and drawn.

The guys were a little shocked at how bad Johnny looked. Having seen him only a few days ago, he had seemed to have fully recovered from the hit and run accident, a far cry from his appearance today.

They made small talk for a little while, but when they mentioned the incident that put Johnny back in the hospital, Johnny seemed to shut down.

Marco had made the observation about how weird it was that someone would break into Johnny’s room, beat him up, and not take anything. Marco then stated that maybe someone was out to get Johnny for some reason, maybe someone who was angry with him about the outcome of a rescue, and that maybe Johnny should talk to the police about it.

Chet was actually trying to be funny when he made the comment that Marco was being paranoid, and that “Gage probably just got caught with another guy’s wife in that hotel room, and was beat up by her husband.”

He never expected the look he received back from Johnny, one of glazed eyes like a deer caught in headlights. Johnny’s jaw had dropped open slightly, and he suddenly looked even paler than before.

He finally managed, “Guys, can we just…talk about somethin’ else?” He wasn’t about to give them any details.

After that, Johnny barely responded to their comments or conversation. Deciding that Johnny obviously wasn’t feeling up to having any visitors, they made a hasty departure. Both were  a little surprised that Roy wasn’t there.

Roy stood on the front porch of his Captain’s home, and taking a deep breath, rang the bell. He was full of anxiety at what his Captain would say after he heard what Roy was going to tell him, but he couldn’t keep his misdeeds to himself any longer. Having called the Cap to see if he was home, he had climbed into his Porsche, and headed to Stanley’s house.

Hank Stanley opened the door with a small smile, and invited Roy in. After offering him a cup of coffee, Hank directed Roy into his living room. The house was quiet; Hank’s wife was out shopping.

Taking a sip of his coffee first, Hank set the cup down on the saucer and studied his senior paramedic. Roy looked almost haggard, and Hank attributed it to the incessant worrying that Roy always subjected himself to every time his partner was seriously injured. He assumed that Roy had probably spent the day at Rampart visiting Johnny. He also had a suspicion that Roy was probably blaming himself for what had happened to Johnny, even though he had nothing to do with it. Over the years he had noticed this idiosyncrasy about Roy; that he often tended to take the blame for things that were in no way his fault.

Hank had been informed of the cancellation of Roy’s surprise birthday party by Joanne DeSoto the previous evening, and had planned on visiting Johnny himself that afternoon. This is getting to be a habit, Hank thought, when he considered how many times in the past several years he had visited his junior paramedic in the hospital.

Hank sensed his senior paramedic’s unusually dark mood, and tried to find a way to break the ice and get Roy to open up. “Roy, before you called, I was just getting ready to go see John. How is he?”

Roy stammered, “Uh, I…I don’t know. I…I guess he’s okay.”

This caused Stanley’s eyebrows the climb up into his thick black hair. Astonishment was evident in his expression when he questioned, “You don’t know? You mean, you haven’t seen him?”

Roy swallowed and nervously licked his lips. “No, I…I haven’t….well….yes…I have. Um, Cap, look, there’s something I need to talk to you about….,” he managed to stutter out brokenly.

Cap leaned back in his chair and sipped his coffee with surprising calmness as Roy unloaded his crimes against Johnny to him. He listened to the entire story in stony silence with his mouth tightly clamped shut, barely adding more than a nod and an “Uh huh,” to the conversation. When Roy was through with his confession, he looked miserable and spent. While being shocked and angered at what Roy had revealed to him, he found himself feeling sorry for Roy, seeing the evidence clearly on Roy’s face of the guilt trip that he was putting himself through.

Sighing heavily, Captain Stanley realized that this was one of those times when he did not enjoy being ‘The Cap’.

Roy stared at him through solemn blue eyes, awaiting with dread the retribution that his captain might direct at him. “Cap?” he begged for some type of response.

Hank raised his eyes to look at Roy. Roy relaxed slightly when he saw that those eyes held compassion, and a slight smile even played on the Cap’s lips. The Cap sighed again.

“Roy, I…I don’t know what to say, pal. I gotta admit I’m stunned that you would do such a thing to Johnny, and even more stunned that you actually believed that he and Joanne were….well….having an affair. You two are about as close as any two partners can get, and I always thought that you held implicit trust in one another.”

“We do, Cap. I mean…we did….I still do,” Roy tried to convince himself that he had always trusted Johnny.

“I also understand that some of the best people I’ve ever known have made big mistakes, and that everyone can make a bad judgement once in a while. It’s called being human.”

Roy leaned his elbows on his knees and laid his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair. “Cap, what should I do? I’ll understand if you have to suspend me, or…or even dismiss me from the department. I….I know I deserve it.” He looked back up at his Captain. “But….Johnny doesn’t want anyone to know I did it. He’s already made a statement to the police that he can’t identify the guy who…who beat him up. He says….he says he’s trying to protect Joanne and the kids. He told her that he would deny it if I tried to come out with the truth. I guess he’s afraid if headquarters finds out I did it, I’ll be fired and that’ll hurt my family.”

Hank considered this. On one hand, he was surprised; on the other, he wasn’t. Actually, this was exactly the type of thing John Gage would do. For the Cap had gotten to know Johnny quite well over the last five years, and he knew that while sometimes Johnny could be hot-headed and easily angered, he was also quick to forgive and forget, and was a very big-hearted man. He also knew how important Roy’s family had become to Johnny, and he suspected that the loss of that family would be devastating to Johnny. John had no relatives that Hank was aware of, except an aunt, and Johnny had even listed Roy as ‘next of kin’ and ‘power of medical attorney’ on the department records, in case something happened to him.

Captain Stanley didn’t answer right away. He was thinking of what the right answer should be. He knew he’d be required by regulation to report this incident to headquarters, and choosing not to do so would be a major violation and possibly a threat to his career. His mind told him one thing, yet his instincts told him another. In all his years as a firefighter and a captain, he had come to trust his instincts more than anything else in this job.

 Finally, he spoke, “Roy, I think the best thing to do here….is to do what John wants you to do. He’s the one that’s been hurt the most by this, and, well, if he doesn’t want anyone to know you did it, then I think you should honor his wishes - despite the fact that it makes you feel uncomfortable. I can’t force John to admit the truth, none of us can. He could be in trouble himself at this point for lying to the police. And I think the last thing we want to do is to make things harder for John.”

Roy looked at his Captain thoughtfully. “Yeah, I….I guess you’re right. It’s just that….I don’t feel right hiding what I did. I feel like…I don’t know….like….”

Cap finished his sentence. “Like you deserve punishment?”

Roy looked at the floor. “Yeah.”

“Roy, I don’t think anyone needs to dish out any more punishment to you. You’re doing a good job of it yourself. I might also add that since this didn’t happen on this job, I don’t feel as obligated to put forth any disciplinary actions. Frankly, what worries me the most is whether or not the two of you will be able to continue to work together. I’ve always been rather proud of the fact that our crew is known as one of the best out there, particularly our two A-shift paramedics. I’d hate to see that team break up. I’d hate to see that friendship break up even more. In all honesty, I’ve never seen one so close, even between partners. I think you’d both be losing something invaluable if you aren’t able to work it out.”

Roy looked solemnly at Hank. “I know. I do too. Cap, I don’t know if Johnny will ever even speak to me again, much less be able to forgive me for what I did.  Somehow I’m gonna have to make him understand….”

“Roy, I have confidence you’ll both be able to put this behind you. Don’t write John off yet. I think he’ll surprise you.”

Roy smiled a soft smile, the first in quite a long time, and finally started to relax a bit. He felt immeasurably better after talking to the Cap; he was one of the wisest men he’d ever known, and he felt lucky to be serving under him. Roy got up to go. “Well, I guess I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thanks, Cap, I really appreciate your talking with me about this.”

Hank put his hand on Roy’s shoulder. “It’s not a problem, Roy. I’m glad you decided to come to me and let me know what was going on. You might have saved me from having an ulcer later on by explaining this now.”

Roy smiled a bit larger.

“Now, go on home and get some sleep, so you’re sharp for tomorrow. I’ve got some new drills to go over, and I’m gonna need at least one half of my best paramedic team awake for it. Oh, and by the way, if you really feel you need some punishment, I’ll give headquarters a call and have them schedule Brice to be your partner while Gage is out,” Captain Stanley said with a broad smile.

“Thanks, Cap, you’re all heart,” Roy answered while pulling his jacket on.

“You’re welcome. Now get outta here, ya twit, so I can go visit your partner.”

Hank Stanley ambled down the old hallway on the fourth floor of Rampart General Hospital. It was a bit dreary, and Hank noticed that the walls were a bit dingy, and that little bits of the old yellow paint were peeling off in places. Hmm. Must be the section of the hospital that they’re going to be renovating. He had heard that the administrators had plans to completely remodel the east wing of Rampart; it was the only remaining area of the building that hadn’t been updated.

Scanning the room numbers on the doors, he came to Gage’s room, and knocked lightly while peeking into the room.

Johnny had been sleeping, having finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had worn him out earlier. He awoke, however, and upon hearing the soft knock, forced his eyelids open halfway. Captain Stanley took a few steps into the room. Outside, it was twilight, and the only light on in Johnny’s room was the soft fluorescent on the wall across from his bed. The orange glow of the parking lot lights outside seeped between the slats in the blinds, creating a peculiar illusion of wide stripes across the room.

Hank approached John’s bed and pulled up a chair.

“Cap,” Johnny said in a scratchy voice. He cleared his throat.

“John, how’re you doin’?” Hank rested one hand on the bed rail, and stuffed the other into his pocket.

“’M fine, Cap.”

Captain Stanley pulled the chair closer and sat down. “I hate to say this, pal, but you don’t look fine. You look terrible.” He took in the paleness of Johnny’s face, and the dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a mass of tangles. Beside Johnny’s bed hung an IV pole with one bag of solution hanging from it; slowly dripping its contents into Johnny’s left arm..

Johnny gave the Captain half a smile. “Thanks for the compliment, Cap. I guess that guy that hit me….packed quite a punch. Either that or ’m getting’ old.”

Hank wasn’t quite sure how to respond to Johnny’s comment, so he quietly said, “John, I know who the guy was that hit you, so you don’t have to put up any false pretenses for me.”

The half smile on Johnny’s face faded, and his eyes dropped to his blanket. “I…I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“John, Roy stopped by to see me today. He told me what happened.”

Johnny was quiet for a long time. Just when Hank thought he hadn’t heard him John looked up and said, “Cap, I don’t want anyone to know about this. I….already told the police – “

“I know, John. But just so you know, Roy feels pretty uncomfortable with keeping this a secret.”

Johnny’s face became flushed with anger. “I don’t give a damn how ‘uncomfortable’ it makes Roy feel! He certainly didn’t think about how ‘uncomfortable’ he made me feel when he planted his fist in my stomach.”

Captain Stanley was a little taken aback at John’s outburst, and raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Point well taken, John. I’m just not real sure I understand why you want to do this.”

“I’ve got my reasons,” John answered.

“Well, I think it’s very admirable if you want to protect Roy and his family. But I have to tell you that if do you change your mind, Roy will probably receive some disciplinary action, but he won’t lose his job. I imagine it would just be a reprimand, especially since this didn’t happen on the job.”

Johnny looked defeated. He knew that making Roy suffer through a humiliating reprimand wasn’t going to change anything. It would only make things worse for both of them. It would just draw attention to them both, and be a catalyst for gossip and prying eyes. Besides, regardless of what the Cap said, he didn’t want to be the cause of Roy possibly losing his job. Even with all that had happened, deep down he still admired Roy, and knew he was an excellent fireman and paramedic. He had no desire to ruin Roy’s career over something so stupid. “What’s the point? It’s not going to accomplish anything if I tell the truth, except a lot of embarrassment for both of us.”

Hank considered this a moment. “I understand, John; and like I told Roy, however you want to handle this is okay with me. I won’t say a word about it if that’s what you want.”

Johnny nodded, a lump forming in his throat as he understood exactly what the Captain was laying on the line here by keeping quiet for his sake. It humbled him to know that his Captain cared enough about him, and respected him enough to make an offer that could potentially get him into trouble. “That’s what I want. And, Cap?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m….sorry. I didn’t mean…to blow up at you like that.”

Hank feigned indignity. “Did you blow up at me? I hadn’t noticed.”

This brought a slight smile back to John’s face.

Captain Stanley wanted to talk with John about whether or not he felt he would be able to work with Roy as a partner again, but realized that this wasn’t the time or the place for such a conversation. There would be plenty of time for that after John had time to heal. So, he mentally switched to a different subject. “So, any idea of when you’ll be able to get out of here?”

Johnny sighed, then grimaced a bit as he changed position on the bed. “Well, hopefully in only about three or four more days. Then, I guess I won’t be back at work for probably around five weeks or so.”

Hank bit his bottom lip, recalling that Johnny had been due to return to work in about another week or two before all this happened. “Well, however long it takes; we’ll be looking forward to having you back, John. Oh, and by the way, just thought you’d like to know….Roy’s gonna continue to work with Craig Brice while you’re out,” a hint of a smile played at the Captain’s lips as he delivered this tidbit of information.

A very small smile creeped onto Johnny’s face, and Captain Stanley thought he detected just a hint of a twinkle in Johnny’s eyes. He got up to leave and said, “I’m going to get out of here, and let you get your rest. You look like you could use some. Anything I can get you before I go?”

“Nah, I’m okay, Cap,” Johnny responded. He looked up at the clock. It was 7:00. He prayed he wouldn’t have any more visitors that day as his Captain departed.

Sonya Evans watched as Captain Hank Stanley left Johnny’s room and walked past her to the elevators. Ironically, the queen of gossip had been assigned to this area of the hospital for the week, and had been observing with an eagle eye all the visitors that John had received that day. She smirked to herself as she watched three different women stop by to see Johnny, as if it reaffirmed her belief that Johnny was a self-imposed ladies’ man. She quickly spread word about Jeanette’s visit on her coffee break, trying to plant the seed in her co-workers minds that perhaps these two were still involved, even though Jeanette had talked of marrying another man. She had been stunned to witness Mary Lynne Smith’s visit, not only once in the morning, but she had also stopped by for a moment in the afternoon, and speculated with hidden envy that there must be some sort of romance going on between the two. What she couldn’t figure out was, how had she missed this little affair? It must have started when Johnny was in the hospital last time, and she herself had been moved up to pediatrics for a few weeks. She remembered warning Mary Lynne about her patient’s wolfish manner; apparently Mary Lynne hadn’t taken her seriously. What could he see in her that he didn’t see in me? she wondered, feeling angry and overlooked.

What had really gotten Sonya’s attention was when Johnny’s third female visitor had stopped by - Joanne DeSoto. What was she doing here? She had stayed for quite awhile, and had looked very troubled after she left Johnny’s room. It couldn’t have been that she was that worried about his injury, since he was expected to recover fully. The other odd thing about it was that her husband, Roy DeSoto, who was Johnny’s partner and supposed best friend, had not been in to see him all day. Now that was a mystery. What was Roy’s wife doing visiting John Gage – without her husband? Sonya wracked her brain trying to figure out this puzzle, but couldn’t seem to come to any conclusions. She had heard that someone had beat John Gage up at a hotel room, but didn’t know any other details. Gee, I wonder what he could have been doing in a hotel room in the middle of the day, she thought sarcastically to herself. Hmmm, why would someone break into his room and assault him? A jealous husband, perhaps? But he’s dating Mary Lynne, and she’s not married…maybe she has an old boyfriend? She spent the rest of her shift thinking about it. At one point, she was so lost in her thoughts, that she almost delivered the wrong medication to the wrong patient.

Roy DeSoto was on his way home after his visit with his Captain, when he suddenly got an idea and abruptly changed course. There was one stop he thought he should make. Fifteen minutes later, he was pulling into the driveway of his partner’s house.

He shut off the engine and unhurriedly approached the front door. The house was dark, and he felt slightly uneasy as he inserted his key into the lock and turned the knob. Johnny had given Roy a key some time ago on one occasion where he needed Roy to get something from his house during a hospital stay, and he’d always felt welcome, but tonight he felt like an intruder.

Shutting the door behind him, Roy reached for the light switch and flicked on the hall light. He stood there a long time, feeling out of place, as the memories came to him.

He remembered the first time he had stepped foot into this house. It hadn’t been very long ago when Johnny had tried to talk him into buying a house. Johnny himself had found this one simply by closing his eyes and pointing his finger at an ad in the real estate section of the paper. His finger had landed on the ad for this property. Admitting the listing sounded appealing, Roy and Joanne had called the agent and had her show them the house. They had liked it instantly, but Roy’s cautious nature had prevented him from acting on making an offer until he had made sure he analyzed the situation completely. When he finally decided to make an offer a day later, the agent informed him that the house was already in contract. At the time he had been furious, and severely disappointed, and was even more incensed to find out the next day that it had been his partner who had bought the house out from under him. He remembered as clear as a bell Johnny saying, “Well, I just didn’t think you were interested!” Johnny had stated that he had gone over himself, just to check it out for Roy, and when he had seen all those bedrooms, and the den, and the yard, he just couldn’t resist. Roy had tried to convince Johnny to sell them back the house, that he didn’t need a house this big, but he wouldn’t budge. Even after Roy had saved Johnny’s life; Johnny had nearly fallen to his death from a bridge while trying to rescue an epileptic boy, Johnny wouldn’t give in.

Now Roy stood in that same house, reminiscing in silence, glad now that he had not bought this house. After Johnny had closed on this deal, Roy and Joanne had found another house that they liked even better, and was closer to the schools they liked for their kids. They had been living there for several months now, and even though the roof was bad, and the furnace conked out, they never regretted their decision.

It turned out that Johnny had his hands full with maintenance to his new house as well. The major difference was that Johnny was a lot handier than Roy was when it came to repairs. Roy had no idea where Johnny had gotten his experience from, but it seemed like he could do just about anything when it came to home renovation.

Johnny’s furnace had gone on the fritz as well right after he had bought the house, but with the help of one of his buddies who was in the heating and cooling business, he had managed to successfully replace it himself, without too much cost. It seemed he always had some ongoing projects to keep him busy. Roy would help him out once in a while; he had spent one of his days off a while back helping with Johnny’s fence, but his own obligations of home and family prevented him from helping as much as he would have liked.

Roy walked through the house toward the back and stopped at the glass patio doors to gaze outside. It was dark, but he could see that Johnny hadn’t finished rebuilding the fence around the yard that he had started that summer. That had been cut short by the hit and run driver less than two months ago. Johnny had wanted to get it finished before the holidays; now it looked like that wasn’t going to happen.

Roy sighed and headed up toward Johnny’s bedroom. That had been another of Johnny’s projects. The house had four small bedrooms, and Johnny had decided shortly after moving in, that he was going to tear down one of the walls between the rooms, and make one large master bedroom, and add a bathroom. Roy was surprised to see that Johnny was almost done. The drywall had been completed but not painted, the carpentry and trim work were almost done as well; he just needed to paint the walls and hang the doors, which were leaning against the walls out in the hallway.

Peering into the bathroom, he saw that Johnny had installed all the plumbing fixtures, except for the sinks, because he had not set the vanity yet. It was sitting in the middle of the room, waiting for installation. Otherwise, only the walls needed paint, and the new cans were neatly stacked in the corner of the room. Roy was impressed with his friend’s handiwork, guilt washing over him once more as he realized that Johnny’s completion date for his projects would once again be pushed further back, this time because of himself.

He moved toward the dresser, and began looking for Johnny’s pajamas. He would have Joanne bring Johnny his pajamas, books, and some other items to make his hospital stay a little more comfortable, if that was possible. He figured it was the least he could do.

While searching for the pajamas, he opened several dresser drawers, and became uncomfortable when he found an open box of condoms in one of them; they reminded him of what he had accused Johnny of. He shut the drawer quickly, and then noticed that Johnny’s pajamas were lying at the foot of his bed, draped over the bedframe.

Roy folded the pajamas neatly, his hands lingering a few moments on the soft cotton fabric, and he remembered all the other times he had done this, wondering if he would ever be able to regain the close friendship they once had.

He put the pajamas into a large paper bag and headed out the door. As he was leaving, his eye caught sight of a couple of small photographs that Johnny had haphazardly stuck into the corner of his mirror, and he stopped to look at them. One was an old faded black and white photo of a young couple, its edges worn with time. Roy leaned in and squinted at it, trying to figure out who the people were. The man was tall and handsome, with dark hair and dark eyes; the grin was unmistakable, it had to be Johnny’s father. The woman was fair-haired and petite, and had a slight smile on her face, and she was quite beautiful, her hair long and partially swept up and pulled away from her face. Roy assumed this was Johnny’s mother, and for a moment a feeling of sorrow overcame him, as he realized that these two people were probably dead, since he had never heard Johnny speak of them. He didn’t know how he knew this, he just knew, somehow.

The other photograph was of a young boy, maybe twelve or so; he looked remarkably like Johnny, except Roy didn’t think it was Johnny. The hair was too fair, but the face, the face could have easily been Johnny’s. Roy shook his head, wondering why he had never bothered to ask his friend about his family. Roy contemplated pulling the pictures off the mirror to examine them, but then thought better of it. Instead, he turned off the light and proceeded downstairs to collect some books or magazines for Johnny to read. With that accomplished, he turned to leave, hesitating a moment, the thought crossing his mind that this might be the last time he ever set foot in this house. With a sigh, he once again darkened the house, and departed, after closing the door and locking it.

Johnny awoke feeling quite a bit better the next day, physically at least. The nurses had only woken him up twice the night before. The pain from the surgery was not nearly as bad, and today he would be allowed some solid foods. After breakfast, he was visited by Dr. Early, who decided that he was coming along nicely. Johnny thankfully lost the catheter that morning, but still had the IV for the time being.

The day went by slowly, and Johnny had no visitors until late that afternoon. He became bored and lonely, trying to sleep as much as he could to pass the time. At 4:00, Joanne DeSoto stopped by to see him. She was carrying a large bag in one hand. He looked past her as she entered the room, trying to see if Roy was with her, relieved to see that he wasn’t. Johnny was still angry with Roy, but the feeling had dulled somewhat. It had taken a lot of energy out of him to stay mad at Roy. Mostly, he felt hurt and betrayed, and his heart felt somewhat hollow; there was an emptiness present now that hadn’t been there before.

Johnny missed Roy, but at the same time had no desire to see him. He wasn’t sure he could ever look Roy in the eyes again, after everything that had been said. He had analyzed the situation over and over again in his mind, until his head hurt, the ugly truth of Roy’s words glaring at him. He didn’t know what he was going to do once he got out of the hospital. That decision seemed overwhelming at the moment.

Joanne could see that he was feeling a bit better, and so she chatted about the things the children were doing, and about her job, not mentioning Roy at all. Johnny had listened with interest, glad to have his mind taken off his present misfortune. When Joanne noticed his eyes were beginning to droop, she decided that she had stayed long enough. Before she left, however, she set the paper bag she had brought on the bed and began to empty it. Johnny saw her pull his pajamas and a robe out, and some other things; a shaving bag with some personal things of his, and some books and magazines.

He looked at her suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. “Where did you get this stuff?”

Joanne hesitated a moment, then said nonchalantly, “Your house, of course. We just thought you might be more comfortable in your pajamas. Plus, we knew you would be needing some of your things…”

“We?”

“Roy, and I.”

“You went to my house?”

She cleared her throat. “Well, Roy did. He just thought – “

Johnny’s voice rose, “He was in my house?!”

“Oh, Johnny, don’t be angry. Roy just wanted to do something for you.”

Johnny glared at her. Somehow the idea of Roy DeSoto letting himself into Johnny’s house repulsed him. “Yeah, he’s done something for me, all right,” he said sarcastically.

Joanne sighed. “Look, you were going to be needing these things; someone had to get them, and Roy was the only one who had the key to your house – “

Johnny held up his hands, too tired to argue. “Just forget it.”

Joanne then opened her purse, searching for something. “Johnny, there’s just one other thing before I go,” and she handed him a plain white sealed envelope. Johnny recognized the handwriting; it was Roy’s.

“What’s this?” he asked her.

“Well, I guess it’s a….dear John letter.” She couldn’t help but smile a little.

He snorted his reaction.

“It’s from Roy, Johnny. Please read it. Roy was hoping that since you didn’t want to see him, that at least you would read what he has to say.” Before Johnny could open his mouth to say anything, Joanne gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said she had to go, leaving him sitting there holding the letter.

Johnny remained motionless for awhile, staring blankly down at the letter in his hand. He could only imagine what Roy had written. Part of him was tempted to tear the letter into pieces and throw it in the trash can, but another part felt an urgency to open it, hoping it would give him some answers.

He tore the letter open, and was very surprised at how long it was. He counted four pages. Setting the letter down for a moment in his lap, he took a sip of water, and tried to get comfortable. He picked it back up again and started to read.

“Dear Johnny….”

Before he had a chance to read any more, one of his worse nightmares walked in. He looked up. Oh no.

“All right! Time for a little more blood work!” She was back again, the nurse from hell. Johnny closed his eyes and sighed in defeat.

She snatched the letter out of his hands and tossed it to the foot of the bed. “Let’s get this out of the way,” she ordered.

Johnny’s hand reached out trying to grab the letter back from her, but he wasn’t quick enough. “Wait a minute – “

“Arm, please,” she said while picking up his arm.

Johnny just looked at her; he knew it would do no good to argue with this woman.

She swabbed down his arm, and as she not so gently stuck him with the needle she asked, her batting her eyes, “Did you miss me?”

“Ow!” he yelped. “About as much as a headache,” he muttered under his breath.

She looked up at him through those thick black eyelashes, and pulled the needle out. “What was that?” she asked.

“Nothing….nothing,” he answered, gritting his teeth.

“I’m going to be your favorite nurse, you wait and see.”

“On which planet?” he retorted.

She didn’t answer. “I’ll be back,” she said briskly, as she walked out with the blood sample.

Johnny didn’t ask what she would be back for. He didn’t want to know.

Johnny leaned forward, and grabbing a hold of the letter she had tossed aside, began to read it again.

“Dear Johnny,

I know you don’t want to see me, and I don’t’ blame you. I hope you will read this through though and give me a chance to explain what happened.”

Johnny snorted at this, but read on.

The first thing I want to say is that I’m sorry. More sorry than you’ll ever know. I know how inadequate that sounds after what I did to you, but unfortunately at this point all I can do is apologize. I made a terrible mistake, and I realize that my mistake has not only caused you a lot of suffering, but also probably cost us our friendship.” What friendship? Johnny snorted again.

“I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.” Johnny took a deep breath after reading this sentence, paused, then read on, and Roy began to explain in detail how he had come to mistakenly believe that his wife was having an affair with Johnny. He explained everything, the conversations he had with Matt Hamilton, the conversation he had heard that morning when Johnny and Joanne had been planning the party for him. He relayed how he had felt when he saw the two of them checking into the hotel, and when he had seen the room, and how seeing the negligee had sent him over the edge. He explained further how stressed he had felt working with Brice, and picking up the extra shifts had added extra pressure, along with the tension added when they became short on money. Joanne getting a job was just the icing on the cake. “You were right all along when you said that maybe I was feeling inadequate. I was feeling inadequate; I just didn’t want to admit it.

Johnny, I know all these reasons sound like lame excuses. I never should have mistrusted you, or Joanne. You’ve never done anything to cause me to believe otherwise. I guess I was going through a rough time in my life, and I took it out on you. And I was wrong to do that – terribly wrong.

     Most importantly, I want you to know that I didn’t mean anything I said to you. I know I said some awful things, but they were said in the heat of the moment, and nothing I said was true. I was hurting badly, and I wanted to hurt you badly, so I said things that came to my mind that I knew would hurt you. I didn’t know if you knew, but I was drunk when I said those things. I had been down at the bar drowning my sorrows before I came up to your room. I’m not trying to blame the alcohol, but it did have an influence over me.

     I want you to know how much I value your friendship - I always have. There’s no one I would rather be partnered with, or trust more. I ask you to believe that. You’re like a brother to me, the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve put your life on the line for me more than once – for that I can never repay you, except to say how thankful I am for your friendship. You’re probably the least selfish person I’ve ever known. What you did for me on my birthday was one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me, and I feel sick at how I repaid you. If there was anything I could do to take back what I said and did, I would do it in a heartbeat. And if I could trade places with you right now, I would do it gladly. But I can’t. What I did was inexcusable and unforgivable. I don’t really expect you to be able to forgive me, but I hope now you at least understand what caused my actions. I hope we’ll still be able to work together, and to be partners, but if you feel you can’t, then I will understand. If this is the case, then I would want you to stay on at 51’s – I will be the one to leave. Again, I’m truly sorry.

     ~Roy

            Johnny stared at the letter for a long time after he had finished reading it. His eyes were wet, and he had a huge lump in his throat. He didn’t know what to think. He was stunned at what Roy had said; he sounded so sincere. No one had ever said such kind things to him before. Roy truly did sound sorry. What was he to believe?

            Johnny read that letter over and over again, until he had no more energy to think about it. He was asleep by 8:00 that night, finally able to get a more restful night; the nurses only woke him once.

            Roy went back to work the next day. I was hard fielding questions his crewmates asked about Johnny when he had not even been to visit his partner at the hospital. He relied on information from Joanne to tell his friends how Johnny was doing.

            Joanne had told Roy that she had given Johnny the letter, so Roy spent the entire day in an inner turmoil wondering whether Johnny would call him to talk. He didn’t, which caused Roy to worry even more that this time, his partner was not going to forgive him. Roy was glad for the steady flow of calls they received that day to take his mind off his partner. Several times when he was at Rampart, he longed to take the elevator up to the fourth floor and see his friend. But the conversation they needed to have would not be able to take place in just the few short minutes that Roy would have available.

            As the day wore on, and Roy didn’t hear from Johnny, he slowly became depressed and withdrawn. None of the others seemed to notice Roy’s mood, except the Cap, and he knew the reason for it. Captain Stanley didn’t know about the letter Roy had written, but he suspected that his two paramedics had not resolved their differences yet.

            Roy barely ate dinner that night, and just picked at his food. He went to bed early, not awakening until the tones went off at 1:45 a.m., summoning them all to a fire.

            Johnny spent most of the day thinking about the letter Roy had written. He read it again several times, trying to decide if Roy was truly sincere. It sounded like he was sincere, but after all the things that Roy had said to him at that hotel, he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure. He didn’t know what to think, or what to do.

Obviously, Johnny reasoned, Roy had put a lot of thought into this letter, basically pouring his heart out to Johnny. Frankly, Johnny was astonished at how candid Roy had been with him, and how much he’d bared his soul. That was unlike Roy, who was a man of few words. Some of the things that Roy had said brought tears to Johnny’s eyes, and his initial response was to have a huge sense of relief to find out that his friend really did respect him, trust him, and value his friendship as much as Johnny valued his. He wanted to put the whole thing behind him, to be able to laugh about it, and not be angry any more. He wanted that desperately, because the alternative was far less attractive. It meant that one of them would most likely have to leave the station and start over somewhere else. It also meant that Johnny’s “family”, or rather Roy’s family, that he had become so accustomed to being a part of, would be lost to him, and he would be alone again, except for casual friendships. He would have to go back to living with the knowledge that he really didn’t belong anywhere, and he’d had enough of that in his life.  But what was better, being a part of something that was a fake, or being alone? He wanted to believe that Roy really meant everything he wrote, and that what he had said to Johnny in the hotel had come from a man who was drunk and distraught. After all, everybody says things they don’t mean sometimes, don’t they? But Johnny also knew that sometimes alcohol could bring out a person’s real feelings, buried feelings, and he couldn’t help but believe that maybe deep down, maybe Roy really had meant some of those awful things he said. Maybe consciously Roy felt the things he said in the letter, but subconsciously he didn’t. There’s no way I’ll ever know for sure, he thought, frustrated.

Then there was this issue of his reputation with women. Where had those comments come from if Roy really didn’t mean it? Those accusations didn’t just come out of nowhere. Roy must have heard something derogatory related to my involvement with women, or else why would he have made those statements about ‘everyone knows how many women I’ve slept with’?

It really bothered Johnny to think that his reputation and character were in question. Now he was going to feel paranoid every time he looked at anyone he worked with, wondering what they knew or had heard about his private life, wondering what they were thinking about him. In the past, he’d always thought he’d had the respect of his co-workers, now he wasn’t sure anymore. I guess ignorance is bliss, he thought solemnly.

            He continued to debate himself over the meaning behind it all until he started to get another headache. Auggh! I’m overanalyzing this! I’ve got to stop thinkin’ about it and decide what to do, or I’m gonna go crazy! He sighed. One thing’s for sure, I’m tired of bein’ mad; it’s not gonna solve anything anyway. I gotta believe that Roy meant what he wrote, not what he said. I’m gonna have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe if we can  go back to working together, all this’ll all blow over. Johnny looked down at himself, touching his sore abdomen. I wonder when I can go back to work? He knew he’d lost a little weight, he saw it in his reflection in the hand mirror he had used to shave that morning. And he felt so weak! He wondered when he’d ever get his strength back after these two surgeries. I just gotta get out of this hospital, then I can work on getting strong again.

            He finally set the letter aside for awhile, overwhelmed by it all. His day had been another quiet one, his only visitor had been Mary Lynne, who was a welcome distraction. Late that evening, he decided he would give Roy a call the next day, and try to work things out. He fell asleep hoping that he would be able to go home again in just a few days, and that soon everything would return to normal.

            At 1:30 a.m., the fourth floor of Rampart was almost silent. Except for the occasional soft beeping and humming of some of the hospital equipment, one could almost hear a pin drop. The hall lights had been dimmed down, and one nurse sat at the nurse’s station sipping coffee while adding some information to a patient’s chart. Most of the patients, including Johnny, were asleep.

            Millie Teal and Barbara King were in the room across from Johnny’s. Millie lay in the bed next to the window, after having had a hysterectomy that day. Barbara had been the recipient of some complicated abdominal surgery the day before. Both were sound asleep, thanks to the powerful pain medication they were both given.

            Sometime during those quiet nighttime hours, a stray tissue had fallen from the box after Mrs. Teal had earlier pulled one from it where it sat on top of the heater. It was sucked down between the narrow slats, unnoticed. As the room grew cooler, the old heater came to life, and sparked in protest at having a foreign object forced down its throat. The tissue caught fire quickly, sending small tendrils of flame up through the slats. One of the ‘get well’ cards that Mrs. Teal had arranged on top of the heater began to smolder, then ignited, which started an ominous chain reaction.

Part 3