SOMETIMES…
by DiAnne Bay ;)
Sometimes it doesn’t take much to tear down a person’s self-esteem. Sometimes it happens on a day when you think it least likely to occur. Sometimes, a natural high is the most vulnerable of moods. Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed in the morning. And sometimes, it takes just a little, to say a whole lot…
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John Gage was on a natural high. Things were going well for him of late, very well. He loved his job as a paramedic. He had great camaraderie with his fellow firefighters. He had the best partner in the world, who also doubled as his best friend. He loved his life, and most importantly, he felt he had finally gotten to that stage of his life where he could let the ‘little things’ slide, and concentrate on the positive. Even the antics and practical jokes of Chet Kelly’s “Phantom” had begun to cease when they had stopped getting the desired reaction from the old John Gage. Yes, things were good indeed.
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Johnny pulled his Land Rover into Station 51’s parking lot bright and early for his first shift of the week. His mood was light after spending the past two days camping in the mountains with two other firefighter friends from another station.
Still smiling from the afterglow of his great weekend, Johnny knew that today was going to be a great day as well. He literally bounced into the station with the exuberance of a young boy. Optimism was flying high as he sauntered into the locker room, looking for anyone with whom he could share his good fortune. Optimism gave way to curiosity when he found no one in the locker room. Glancing at his watch, he realized he wasn’t as early as he’d originally thought. Having changed into his uniform, he tucked in his shirt as he hustled towards the break room. With a smile glued on his face, he marched through the door. The rest of the crew was either sitting at the table or waiting in turn around the much-coveted coffeepot.
“Mornin’, mornin’, mornin’!” Johnny bellowed out to his fellow firefighters. He paraded over to the cupboard to grab a cup for himself. “Mornin’ Roy,” he addressed his partner cheerfully. “Ready to do some work for a change?”
Roy DeSoto, normally an easy-going kind of guy, looked up at Johnny with tired eyes and a questioning look on his face. “What are you saying?” Roy asked slowly. “I don’t usually work hard?”
“No, I didn’t say that,” Johnny clarified, failing to notice the cautious tone in his partner’s voice. “You work as hard as anyone I know. I just…”
“So, Gage,” Chet interrupted as he walked up to the two men, “what’d you do on your days off that’s got you in such a good mood?”
“Thought you’d never ask, Chester B.!” Johnny’s smile grew even wider as he turned and gave Chet a friendly slap on the shoulder. “Went camping with Mac and one of the guys from his station. We had a great time. The mountains are incredible this time of year. We had the best weekend. No work. No responsibilities. No worries. Just having fun with friends for an entire weekend. I felt like a kid! Yes sirree, that’s the only way to spend your free time!”
“Sounds great, John,” Marco Lopez piped up in between sips of his coffee.
“Oh, it was Marco! You should have been there. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. I was so sore from laughing, I thought I was gonna to have to check myself into Rampart when I got back!” Johnny laughed aloud as his thoughts ambled back to his weekend in the mountains.
Roy, meanwhile, had gone quietly to sit at the table and offered nothing towards the conversation. Once again, Johnny noticed nothing. Before he could continue his good-natured rant, Captain Stanley called them into the apparatus bay for roll call. One by one, the men hustled to their spots. Roll call was taken, announcements were made, and duties were assigned, after which, the men went their separate ways to begin their tasks at hand.
Before John and Roy could see to their chores for the day, the squad needed its morning check. Roy was already pulling out the drug box to make sure they had ample supplies for the day, so Johnny pulled out the biophone and contacted Rampart for its daily calibration.
“10-4, Rampart, Squad 51 out,” finished Johnny. Placing the biophone back into its compartment, he knelt next to the drug box where Roy was working. Johnny’s face still beamed with enthusiasm; Roy, on the other hand, was quite somber.
“Aw, c’mon, Roy, smile! Let’s make a supply run and blow this popsicle stand!” Johnny took a jab at trying to cheer his partner up.
Quietly and deliberately, Roy looked his partner in the eyes and said, “We don’t need supplies… and I didn’t appreciate that comment.”
Freezing in place, Johnny stared at Roy. Had he heard right? The look on Roy’s face told him his partner was dead serious about something. Half a dozen thoughts flashed over Johnny’s mind in an instant. Comment? What comment? The ‘smile’ comment? I’m not supposed to tell him to smile? He must be having a bad day. I can’t believe… Wait a minute! “Comment? You mean that crack about working hard?” Johnny’s expression showed the disbelief in his face.
“Yeah, that one,” Roy answered in hushed tones.
“C’mon, Roy, I wasn’t serious. You know that! I was just…just…I don’t know, just givin’ ya’ a hard time!” Johnny offered a half-smile with the explanation.
“You made it sound like I don’t work hard… ever,” Roy continued, his face still stone cold sober.
“I didn’t mean it like that. It was a joke, for crying out loud!” Johnny couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had teased his partner before, about a dozen better things. Why in the world would he take that comment seriously?
“Well, alright then,” Roy nodded, his voice still ominously quiet. He grabbed the drug box and slid it back into place in the squad.
Johnny rose slowly to his feet, doubtful that Roy really meant what he’d said. “So, we’re okay then. I mean, you and me?”
“Yeah, we’re okay,” Roy forced a smile, then disappeared around the back of the squad.
Left alone in the bay, Johnny felt like he’d just been hit by a brick. No, make that a cement truck, fully loaded. His face went blank as he spun around to watch his partner’s back disappear through the kitchen door.
What in the world just happened?
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Despite Roy’s assurances that all was well, Johnny was mindful of his partner’s obvious state of agitation for the rest of the morning. More to the point, he didn’t trust himself to say something that Roy might take the wrong way again. He would never intentionally hurt someone; especially when he had to spend a full shift with this person; especially when it came to his partner.
As the morning wore on, Johnny’s nerves began to fray. Roy had barely spoken a word to him, or anyone else, since they had checked out the squad. To top it off, they hadn’t had one single run all morning. It was getting nearly impossible to avoid Roy and his mood. Johnny knew if they could just get out into the field that their routine would stand a better chance of getting back to normal. As it was, their chores were nearly complete, and that meant downtime. This was not a good thing when life was out of sync.
Finally, the inevitable happened. The daily chores were finished; the logbook was caught up, there were no inspections to make, and the men found themselves slowly trickling into the kitchen, one by one.
Mike Stoker opened the paper and flipped to the sports section. Marco Lopez was making out a grocery list. Chet Kelly was keeping Henry, their station mascot, company on the couch, and Roy was slumped over the table, working on another cup of coffee. When Johnny finally decided to join the group, noone even bothered to look up, not even Henry.
Great! thought Johnny. Welcome to Death Valley Days. He had half a mind to walk back out the door, until Chet caught sight of him.
“Geez, Gage, we thought you fell into the latrine or something,” Chet smarted off.
“At least I get it clean when it’s my turn, Chet!” Johnny shot back.
Chet shook his head and went back to rubbing Henry behind his ears. Johnny grabbed a clean cup for himself and reached for the coffeepot. Unfortunately, instead of watching what he was doing, he turned his head to see if he could detect any obvious change of mood in his partner.
“OUCH!” Johnny yelped, jerking his hand back and flinging it back and forth.
“Johnny, I think you’re supposed to use the handle,” Marco informed the paramedic.
“Gee, thanks, Marco. I’ll take that under advisement.” Johnny frowned as he blew on his fingertips, checking them for burns.
“Aren’t you supposed to put burns under cold water?” Mike spoke up matter-of-factly from behind his newspaper.
Johnny threw a dark glare in Stoker’s direction as he reached for the faucet.
“Hey Roy,” Chet piped up, “I’ll get the biophone if ya’ wanna call it in!”
“Nah, I’d hate to be accused of working too hard again,” Roy stated flatly.
Ouch! That stung more than Johnny’s fingers. The pit in the bottom of his stomach that Johnny was trying to ignore deepened into a crater. Chet, on the other hand, snickered, finding Roy’s remark amusing. As Johnny rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, looking for burn ointment, the tones sounded for the first time that day.
Now they call us out!
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Ah, this is better, thought Johnny, as the squad sped down the road. Now we’re back to normal. Sirens blaring. Me checking the maps. Roy driving… Well, maybe I could be driving…no, Roy driving…
~*~ Squad 51, Cancel. Time out 10:48 ~*~
He hung the mic back on the hook and rested his elbow on the window, staring out the window.
“Want to run by Rampart?” Roy asked unexpectedly.
“Yeah! Sure!” Johnny perked up. This was the first unsolicited conversation from his partner all day. Maybe the day wasn’t a total loss after all. Johnny straightened in his seat, daring to smile, just a little.
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“Hey Dix!” Johnny swung the HT high to salute the head nurse.
“Well, hello strangers,” Dixie McCall flashed a warm smile in return. The head nurse of the ER was perched on her stool behind the base station counter, sorting out forms. “Haven’t seen you two all morning. Sleeping on the job, are you?”
Johnny’s face froze with the rest of his body at Dixie’s innocent comment. The last thing he needed, or wanted, was for Roy to get on poor Dixie’s case now too. Dixie noticed the curious change in demeanor in the young paramedic, not to mention the unnatural quietness between the two men.
Wisely changing the subject, she asked, “What can I do for you?”
Johnny, too scared to open his mouth, gave the floor to Roy, or tried to anyway. When Roy remained silent, Johnny spoke up. “Um, we just, uh, thought, we’d, ah,” he swung the HT as he spoke, talking with his hands in nervous energy. When he nearly hit Roy in the back of the head, he quickly dropped his hand holding the HT down to his side and continued to stammer, “stop by, and say ‘Hi’!”
Dixie watched in curious awe, wondering what had Johnny so anxious. Raising her brow, she couldn’t help but notice Roy, standing stoically by, seemingly undaunted by his partner’s erratic behavior. Smiling inside, she knew there had to be a connection.
“Hi!” Dix said with a practiced smile. What in the world is up with these two now?
“Hi!” Johnny repeated, swallowing a little too hard.
“Hi,” Roy finally added.
“Well, now that we’ve got that out of the way… Is there something else I can do for you?” Dixie asked the two men who stood in front of her like two contrary schoolboys.
“Well, yeah, as long as we’re here, I have a short list of supplies we could pick up,” Roy answered, digging a small piece of paper from his shirt pocket and handing it over to Dixie.
“I thought you said we didn’t need anything!” Johnny blurted out without thinking.
“We don’t really. I just figured we could grab a couple of things as long as we were here. That is in my job description, you know, as senior partner, to make sure everything’s in order,” Roy said icily. Turning to Dixie and pointing to the counter, he asked, “Got any coffee in that pot?”
“Lounge. This one’s empty,” she answered, taking in the show unfolding in front of her eyes. Dixie and Johnny watched Roy head down the hall towards the lounge.
“What did you do to him?” she asked Johnny, pointing her thumb in Roy’s direction.
“What did I do? I didn’t do a thing!” Johnny’s face wrinkled with the frustration he felt. “He’s been like that since he got to work this morning! I was the one in a good mood, till I got to the station. I tell ya’, Dix, it’s like the invasion of the body snatchers. I didn’t do a thing though. I don’t think….”
Dixie had to stifle a laugh. Under the circumstances, she felt that would have been a low blow. Poor Johnny was ready to climb the walls. Gathering up the items from the list that Roy had given her, she boxed them and handed them to the fidgety man at the end of the counter.
“Here, now why don’t you go find your partner and play nice,” she teased lightly.
Johnny’s mouth opened in protest to her comment, but just then, the HT crackled in his hand, startling him, nearly causing him to drop it.
~*~ Station 51, vehicle accident, with injuries, corner of Wilshire and Pine, ~*~
~*~ Ambulance responding, Time out: 11:14 ~*~
“Finally,” Johnny muttered. Jotting down the information on his little notepad, he glanced up to see Dixie looking at him with a questioning look. He just shook his head and waved her off as he headed in the direction of the lounge. After retrieving Roy from his self-induced solitary confinement in the lounge, the two paramedics made their way out to the squad and on their way to the traffic accident.
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By the time the squad pulled up to the scene, the engine had already arrived. Two cars had sideswiped each other, causing one to hit the high curb and flip over onto its top. The second car had come to rest against a lamppost on the other side of the street. Captain Stanley waved his two paramedics over to the toppled car.
“John, Roy, we’ve got a victim trapped inside. She’s conscious but hanging upside down by her seatbelt. We’ve got the jacks coming over to see if we can’t raise it enough to get to her.” As his captain spoke, John started assessing the situation on his own.
“I think I can crawl in there, Cap.” He was down on all fours by now, trying to judge the distance of the small space to see if he could wedge his body in through the broken side window.
“Okay, John. Roy, go see what you can do for the victim in the second vehicle,” Stanley ordered.
“Right, Cap,” Roy acknowledged, and trotted over to the other car.
Marco came running up with the power jack, followed by Chet, and the two of them set to work. Johnny removed his helmet and buckled his turnout coat, tucking it in close to his body. Lying flat on his stomach, he inched his way into the overturned vehicle through the passenger window. With his legs sticking out of the window opening, he turned his face up to smile at the woman hanging upside down.
“Hey, how ya’ doing?” He kept his voice sooth and calm, hoping to divert the distraught woman’s attention from her current plight. “Looks like you’re in an awkward position there.”
“Oh, please, get me out of here!” she pleaded. “I can’t reach my seatbelt to get out!”
“What’s your name?” Johnny asked as he quickly surveyed her predicament.
“Jackie, Jackie Johnston.”
“Okay, Jackie, just ‘hang tight’ and we’ll get you out of here in no time.” Johnny wasn’t sure but he thought he heard a slight laugh, nervous though it was, coming from above. “Okay now, we’ll get you out of here, but first I need to check to make sure you’re not hurt.” Through the next set of conversations, Johnny determined that the victim wasn’t in any immediate pain, or had any complications that could be made worse by moving her. She didn’t appear to have any injuries other than minor cuts and abrasions. Johnny twisted himself around in the cramped space so he could take the woman’s her vitals as quickly as he could. Satisfied with the results, he determined that she could be moved safely.
“Cap? I think if I release her seatbelt, we should be able to slide her out of her door if you can get it pried open.”
“Working on it, John,” Cap informed him.
One loud crunching noise later and the door on the driver’s side popped open.
“Okay now, when I release your seatbelt I’m going to try to support you a little bit so you don’t just fall, but you have to try to help me out a little bit, okay?” Johnny informed the frightened woman.
“Okay,” she answered meekly and a little unsure of the whole situation.
“Okay, now, here we go.” Johnny reached up and fumbled with the latch. Grunting with the effort, he twisted his body until he was lying on his back so he could maneuver better and reached up to get a better angle on the stubborn belt.
“John, can you get it?” Cap asked. He had stationed himself just outside the door ready to help support the woman when Johnny was ready to release the latch.
“Yeah,” Johnny grunted, “just one more…”
Click!
“Ow!” Johnny yelled out.
“Johnny? You all right?” Cap called out in concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Cap. Just pull her out, okay? Careful now….”
When the woman was safely out of harm’s way, Johnny shook his head to regain his senses. Jackie’s elbow had come down full force on his face, nearly putting his eye out, or so it felt. He laid his head back for a second and held both hands to his eye, trying to stop the pain.
“Hey, Pal, you comin’ out of there any time soon?” It was Cap again.
“Yeah, Cap, comin’ out!” Johnny shouted through the open door. He rolled back over onto his stomach and inched his way out of the driver’s door. A set of strong hands grabbed the back of his turnout and helped pull him out of the car, bringing him to his feet once he was clear.
Cap took one look at Johnny’s already blackening eye and smiled, in spite of himself. “Now that’s a shiner!” he snorted.
“Gee, thanks for the concern, Cap,” Johnny frowned.
“Run over to the squad and have Roy take a look at it. The victim in the other car got away with minor lacerations. He’s been treated already and refused transport. Roy’s checking out the woman now. They’re both very lucky people.”
“I’m fine, Cap, it’s just a black eye,” Johnny protested.
“Just the same, have Roy take a look.” This came out as an order, not a request and Johnny recognized it as such.
Glancing over his shoulder to see if Cap was watching, Johnny silently hoped to weasel out of that last order. No such luck. Cap might have been busy directing the clean-up at that point, but he was still mindful of his men, especially when he knew how much one of them hated anything to do with procedures on himself.
Johnny sat down on the squad’s running boards and put his head in his hands. An icepack would feel real nice about now, he thought. Or a day off…. This day had started out so great, took a tumble, and had been rolling downhill ever since. Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed, he thought glumly.
Meanwhile, Roy had finished treating Jackie Johnston, and had just loaded her into the ambulance for transport to Rampart Hospital, merely as a precautionary measure. Since an IV had not been established, it was not necessary for either of the paramedics to accompany her. Miraculously, in spite of both cars’ conditions, the injury level was light. At least Roy thought so until he returned to the squad.
“You know, Junior, just because you got all the dangerous work this time, doesn’t mean you don’t have to help out with patient care.” Roy’s tone had lightened considerably from before as he teased his partner.
Johnny took note of his partner’s change in attitude, but he was in no longer in any mood to “play nice,” as Dixie would put it. Elbows on knees, he raised his head off his hands and looked sideways at his partner. Roy did a double take at the spectacle in front of him, then released the grin that was bursting to show itself.
“I’m glad everyone finds this so funny!” Johnny complained gloomily.
“Okay, quit complaining, you’re the one who wanted to play hero,” Roy chided.
“What…OW! Take it easy, will ya’?” Johnny howled when Roy started to palpate the area around his eye. When he took out his penlight and shined it into his eyes, Johnny protested even louder.
“Oh, quit being a baby,” scolded Roy.
“I’m NOT being a baby!” Johnny protested loudly.
“Well?” Cap’s voice came from behind Roy.
“He’ll live, Cap,” Roy said in mock seriousness.
Cap just nodded his head. It had not escaped his notice that his two paramedics were a little out of sorts today. Thankfully, Roy’s mood seemed to be improving. John’s, he wasn’t so sure about. He decided to release the two men from having to help with clean up so John could get back to the station and tend to his eye.
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On the ride back to the station, every little creak and noise rang out in protest to the obvious lack of conversation as the squad rolled down the road. Roy realized he had been a little hard on Johnny, though he was at a loss to explain it. After a long, hard weekend working at home, he’d been tired and irritable when he'd gotten to the station that morning. Listening to Johnny drone on and on about his latest little adventure in the mountains with his new best pals had done nothing to improve his mood. As usual, Johnny had taken centerstage. That was just the type of person he was. That was one reason why Roy admired him so much, but then again, sometimes it was a little hard to take at times. He guessed today was one of those days.
When the squad backed up to a stop in the bay, Johnny jumped out before Roy even had a chance to put it in park. Without a word, his wounded partner headed straight for the kitchen. Roy turned off the ignition and sighed. He knew he was the major cause of his partner’s bad mood and now it would probably take the rest of the shift to cajole him out of it. Sighing again, he hoped he could do it in that short of time.
After having missed dinner, Roy wasn’t surprised when he walked into the kitchen to find Johnny rummaging around in the refrigerator. Instead of food though, Johnny pulled out the ice bag from the freezer and dumped some of the frozen cubes onto a cloth he held in his hand. Guilt from his previous lack of compassion nagged at Roy.
“Need some help there?” he offered sympathetically.
“No!” Johnny barked at him. He slammed the freezer door and stalked out of the room.
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The icy cold mercifully numbed the throb that radiated from his eye. Johnny found himself wishing the ice pack would numb his deteriorating mood as well. He heard the engine return as he lay in his bed. He wished he were home or still camping in the mountains, or, basically, anywhere but there, when he heard muffled voices just outside the dorm. Straining to hear, he knew the voices belonged to Cap and Roy, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. When a single set of footsteps sounded entering the room, he closed both eyes.
“You okay?” It was Roy.
Johnny ignored him, hoping he’d go away.
“Johnny?” Genuine concern coated Roy’s voice.
Before Johnny could answer, he felt the ice pack being lifted from his face. Roy let out a long, low whistle.
“That’s quite a shiner you’ve got there, Partner,” Roy sympathized when he saw the ever-blackening color of Johnny’s swollen eye.
Johnny opened his eyes slowly, half expecting Roy to be laughing at him again. Seeing the look of concern on Roy’s face, he felt somewhat vindicated.
“Does it hurt much?” his partner asked sincerely.
“Not much,” Johnny replied curtly.
“Want some aspirin?” Roy offered.
“I know where they are.” Johnny was not going to make this easy for Roy, or himself.
Roy just nodded his head and turned to leave, but not before replacing the cold pack gently on his partner’s black eye.
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Left alone in the dorm, Johnny knew he should have accepted Roy’s offer for aspirin, even if he hadn't accepted the unspoken apology, but the earlier comment had really hurt him. He couldn’t understand how Roy could possibly think that he would have said anything to hurt him on purpose. As long as they had been partnered, they had always appreciated a deep and unconditional respect for the other. To think now, that Roy thought so little of their relationship had really hurt to the core.
Unable to ignore the rumbling in his stomach any longer, Johnny decided to check out dinner preparations. He sat up, reached over and set the ice pack on the nightstand next to his bed, when the tones sounded.
Groaning, he hurried out to the squad. Dinner would have to wait.
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The squad had several calls in a row, keeping the two paramedics from the station for the better part of the afternoon. An older man had suffered a heart attack, a child had fallen down a flight of steps, a pregnant woman had experienced early labor pains while she was home alone, and an elderly woman who just liked to call the fire department had kept them busy.
With each call, Johnny and Roy functioned in their duties in a normal capacity, never allowing themselves to get sidetracked by any temporary differences between them. Johnny was glad to be kept busy. Roy was hoping for some peace and quiet.
Finally getting a break in their day, Johnny and Roy grabbed a quick bite to eat. Sitting on a picnic table outside of their favorite burger stand, Johnny wolfed down his food, avoiding eye contact with his partner. The swelling had finally stopped, just short of closing his eyelid. Roy was hoping for an opening to talk to his partner, but judging from the way Johnny was keeping his distance, he knew a talk was not in the cards, just yet.
Finishing first, Johnny got up to throw his trash away and walked back to the squad. Hurrying to finish, Roy joined him a few minutes later.
“Look, Johnny,” Roy started to say, as he climbed into the cab.
“Let’s just get back to the station, okay?” Johnny interrupted. “I could use that aspirin about now.” He leaned his head against his arm as it rested on the door and focused his sights out the window.
Nodding his head in silence, Roy leaned slightly to turn the key, and backed out of the parking spot. The ride back to the station turned out to be just as quiet as their meal had been.
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“Hey, Roy!” Chet called to Roy, taking a break from stirring the pot in front of him for their evening meal. “How’s Johnny’s eye?” Since the squad had been called out right after the engine crew had gotten back, they had seen little of their two crewmates since that first accident earlier that morning.
“Black, blue, and swollen,” Roy answered as briefly as possible. Running his hand across his cheek and down his neck, he sighed visibly.
“Oh good, at least it matches his mood,” observed Marco.
“I heard that!” Johnny snapped as he walked through the door.
Several sets of whistles met his arrival.
“Gees, Gage, good thing you’re not married. Everyone would think your wife beat you up!” scoffed Chet. “Or maybe Roy’s finally had enough of you and did it himself?”
Shooting dark looks at Chet, Johnny marched in his direction, causing the man to make a quick exit of the immediate area. Roy was ready to rush over to stop his partner from doing Chet bodily harm until he realized his stressed-out partner was heading toward the cupboard. Johnny grabbed a glass, filled it with water and downed the two aspirins sitting in his hand. Without glancing at Roy, Johnny marched right back out of the room.
“Gees, Roy, did you hit him or something?” Chet asked out of honest curiosity.
“Not in the way that you mean, Chet,” Roy sighed. He hadn’t laid a hand on his partner, but he knew at the same time, you didn’t have to strike someone to leave a mark. He also knew he had to get Johnny out of his funk before the day was over. How, was another matter.
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Back in the dorm, Johnny was having much the same thoughts. He hated the mood he was in, which was a far cry from the one he had come to work with. He was mad at Roy for making him angry. He was mad at himself for being angry, which just made him all the more furious. None of this made any sense, but he couldn’t control how he felt. Meanwhile, he was still trying to figure out how such a seemingly innocent comment could set Roy off in the first place. He was beginning to wonder if it was all his fault. He couldn’t even remember exactly what he had said anymore. Had he said it in the wrong way? Had he said in it the wrong tone? Self-doubts were eating him up inside and that made him angry too.
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For once, the men of 51 were allowed to eat an evening meal in its entirety without a call interrupting them. Normally, this would have been a time to rejoice. This night, all six of the men were wishing for an interruption. Anything would be better than the uncomfortable silence that grew with each passing minute.
Finally, Captain Stanley had had enough. Waiting for his men to finish their meal, he stood up and directed an order that he hoped would end this madness.
“John, Roy, my office, now!” Cap ordered, in no uncertain terms.
Roy glanced over quickly at Johnny who tensed up promptly.
Cap left the room, knowing the two men would follow him, very shortly. By the time they entered his office, Cap was leaning back in his chair with a stern look on his face.
“Sit,” he ordered, which the two promptly did. Roy sat with his hands folded. Johnny slumped in his chair, keeping his eyes to the ground. “Now, out with it. This has gone on just about long enough. If there’s a problem, we’re going to get out in the open, here and now.” He tapped his finger on his desktop for effect as he spoke. “Who wants to start?”
Silence met his question.
“John?”
Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his chair, keeping his focus on the floor.
“Roy?”
Roy turned to look at Johnny briefly, then back to Cap. He started to speak only to have the klaxons sound the second he opened his mouth. Cap couldn’t help but notice the slight upturn on Johnny’s lips as they all knew this conversation was over before it started.
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The engine and squad pulled up to an old burned out apartment building. According to the call, there was a child trapped somewhere inside of the long-ago condemned building. Something familiar about this place struck a cord with Johnny, as he and Roy pulled the squad to a screeching halt behind the engine.
“Hey, Roy?” Johnny asked, wide-eyed as he stared out the window at the albatross of a building. “Isn’t this the building where…?”
“Yeah, it is,” Roy answered before waiting for the end of Johnny’s question.
“Great. It’s bad enough I get half-blown up in this place. Now I have get to go back to the scene of the crime!” Johnny moaned indignantly. Just a year ago, he’d been helping to clear this building of residents when a gas explosion sent him flying to the bottom of the stairs. Not only had he suffered a broken leg for his trouble, but he had also missed Dixie’s surprise party. One that he had planned! “I don’t know, Roy. I have a bad feeling about this.”
“We’ll be fine, Johnny. Sooner we get in, the sooner we get out,” Roy reassured his doubtful partner.
The interrupted meeting in Cap’s office was all but forgotten as they donned their turnout coats and hurried over to where Cap was issuing assignments.
“Marco, Chet, start searching the second floor. Mike, you and I will take the ground floor.” Turning to the two paramedics who had just came running up, he continued, “Roy, Johnny, go up to the third floor. Now, the police officer says they have no idea for sure which floor the child is trapped on. His buddies just know he entered the building on a dare. Now watch yourselves in there. This building was supposed to come down a long time ago because of its instability.”
“Cap, what’s the boy’s name?” Roy asked.
“Johnny, believe it or not,” Cap snorted.
“For some reason, I believe it,” Johnny muttered.
Each team armed themselves with an HT, and either an ax or prybars. With a nod from Cap, all six men entered the building and proceeded to their designated areas of search.
With one hand on his partner’s back, Johnny steadied Roy as they slowly made their way up the rickety steps to the third floor. Many of the risers were broken or missing, either from the explosion, or from time and exposure. Roy took each initial step with great caution. Neither one of them wanted to end up under a pile of stair rubble. The stairs creaked and groaned in rhythm under the weight of the two men. With each new note, Johnny’s stomach tightened into a taut ball of nerves.
Suddenly, one of the stairs gave way under Roy’s foot. He lurched forward only to be pulled back by Johnny, who had a firm grip on his partner’s heavy coat. He grasped Roy around the waist with his other arm to keep him from falling forward.
“Thanks,” Roy breathed heavily, his heart in his throat.
“Anytime,” gasped a relieved Johnny.
Several excruciatingly long minutes later, the two paramedics finally reached the third floor. Blackened walls welcomed them, charred from the fire resulting from the blast a year earlier. The faint smell of burnt lumber still emanated from their deep ragged pores. Ceiling tiles hung low as they swung in the breeze wafting in through broken windows.
“I think we should stay together on this one. What do you think?” Roy asked his partner without turning around.
“Yeah,” Johnny answered softly in reply.
Inching down the sooty hallway, the two men searched the long-empty apartment building. Calling out young Johnny’s name, they made the slow journey down the hallway, searching and eliminating each room, one by one.
Surely the kid didn’t get up all the way up to third floor, thought Johnny as he kept a close eye on the unsteady timbers surrounding them. He wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but he knew they couldn’t leave until they had searched every nook and corner.
The walls, ceilings and floors seemed to talk to them as they proceeded with their quest. Faint whispers turned into loud groans, as the building protested the intrusion of two entities not of its own choosing. Try as he might, Johnny couldn’t shake that bad feeling he’d felt earlier. Pausing for a second, he stopped to listen for sounds of the younger Johnny. Roy continued on, distancing himself by several feet, not noticing his partner had stopped.
“Roy?” Johnny whispered loud enough for Roy to hear.
Roy turned back to see a quizzical look on his partner’s face.
“You hear that?” Johnny’s face froze along with his body, straining to hear what he thought his ears had detected.
The faint noise turned into a loud crackling sound from above. His head whipped upward just in time to see an unstable portion of the ceiling begin to give way, just above his partner’s head.
“ROY!” Johnny screamed as he lunged himself at Roy, diving at him in a flying tackle. Groans emanated from the two men as they landed in a heap from the force of the blow. A loud shudder followed as ceiling timbers rained down on the two downed men.
In a matter of seconds, it was over. The wind knocked out of him, Roy found himself dazed and gasping. Black clouds billowed as waves of fine dust fought to settle on everything in their path, choking him as he fought for a breath. The crushing weight on his chest made it even harder to catch his bearings. It took him a full minute to realize that the crushing weight on his chest was an unconscious Johnny.
“Johnny!” Roy cried out. “Johnny, are you alright?”
Both of their helmets lay by his side as Johnny’s body covered Roy’s like a protective blanket. Shards of broken wood and ceiling lay strewn all around them. Roy pulled his hand free and placed it on Johnny’s neck. Relieved to find a steady pulse, he carefully and gingerly slid out from under his partner. Sitting for a moment to catch his breath, he crawled gingerly on hands and knees to free Johnny of the debris.
A larger piece of lumber lay across Johnny’s legs. As Roy maneuvered the cumbersome piece, a stab of pain flashed through his ribs. Taking in a quick breath, he slowed his breathing to control the pain. With great effort and determination, he managed to remove the obstacle covering his partner. With Johnny freed, Roy felt for signs of possible fractures, sighing when he realized Johnny had broken the same leg in the collapse as he had in the explosion. Carefully, Roy rolled Johnny over onto his back, swiping locks of black hair from his face.
Sitting back for a minute, he surveyed their surroundings. Roy knew it was up to him to get help for himself and Johnny. Searching frantically for the HT, he scoured the area where it might have been thrown during the collapse. Just as he found it, a low guttural moan escaped from his partner’s lips.
“Johnny? Hang in there. Help’s on the way.” Roy got on the radio and quickly relayed to the rest of the crew where they were and what had happened, and requested a stokes for Johnny. He knew it would take several minutes to get to them, remembering how precarious the climb had been on the way up to the third floor.
Coming around, Johnny could feel the pain in his leg which was making itself known. “Oh, not again,” he groaned.
“I’m afraid so,” Roy sympathized. “Just lie still till help gets here.”
“We never found the kid.” Johnny murmured so quietly that Roy barely heard him.
“Yeah, well, but maybe they’ve found him already. Meanwhile we’ve got to figure out how to get us out of here before anymore of this building falls in on us.” Roy shifted as he tried to get comfortable, involuntarily emitting a groan as he did so, which did not escape Johnny’s attention.
“You’re hurt!” Johnny focused on Roy, forgetting his own pain for a moment.
“It’s not bad,” Roy assured him, “bruised ribs, most likely.”
“Sorry,” Johnny apologized, squeezing his eyes closed to shut out the pain in his leg, and the one still in his heart.
“For what?” Roy asked in disbelief. If not the quick thinking of his partner, Roy knew he would have been much more seriously injured, that was certain.
When Johnny didn’t answer, Roy panicked for a moment.
“Johnny? Damn!”
His partner was out cold again.
It took only a minute for Johnny to come around again. Roy was busily checking his pulse and respirations, hoping the guys would hurry and get to them already. When Johnny rolled his eyes open and realized Roy’s hand was on his chest, he pushed it away.
“I’m fine!” he protested.
“Sure you are,” scoffed Roy. “That’s why you went out on me again.”
“I didn’t go out…did I?” Johnny’s thoughts were jumbled. “I was just…tired…had to rest my eyes, ya’ know?” The corner of his mouth turned up ever-so-slightly in a feeble effort to convince his partner he’d meant what he said. Squinting his eyes, he asked, “How bad are you hurt?”
Roy took as deep a breath as he dared. “Not as bad as your leg, I suspect.”
Groaning, Johnny frowned. “Thanks for reminding me.”
“Look, Johnny….” Roy started to say when a faint cry caught his attention. He looked at Johnny and put his finger to his lips as he strained his ears to listen.
“Roy! Johnny!” Cap’s voice resonated from the darkness of the hallway.
“Here!” Roy shouted in return.
Soon, the clamor of four pairs of firemen’s boots descended upon them as Cap, Chet, Marco and Mike made their way down the fire scarred path. Clearing away some of the rubble that separated them, Cap was first to speak.
“You guys all right?”
“Define ‘all right’?” Roy stated rhetorically.
Roy quickly briefed the men on his and Johnny’s condition. Mike and Marco set the stokes next to Johnny. Feeling helpless, Roy could only sit back and watch as Chet carefully placed a splint on Johnny’s left leg. Johnny steeled himself, knowing what was coming.
“Ah, geez, take it easy, will ya’, Chet?” Johnny growled through clenched teeth. Under normal circumstances, Chet would have fired back with a smart remark. Instead, he worked silently, trying to jar his friend as little as possible.
“Take it easy, John, we’re just about there,” Cap reassured the man in a calming, yet authoritative voice.
Breathing heavily from the ordeal, Johnny grit his teeth as Chet finished the job and again when they placed him in the stokes. Chet and Marco grabbed opposite ends of the stokes, while Cap helped Roy to his feet and steadied him. Slowly, the procession of men picked their way back down the cluttered hallway. Cap knew that the ride down would be tricky and painful for both men. Because of the additional travel they had endured, the stairs were in worse shape now than they had been when Johnny and Roy had ascended them.
“Cap?” Johnny finally spoke when he caught his breath. “The boy. We never found the boy.”
Cap placed his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “They found him. Turns out he was never really in here. By the time Mike and I got to the rear of the ground floor, someone called in through the doors to let us know the boy was safely outside.”
“You mean, he never came inside the building?” Roy asked incredulously.
“Seems he hid behind the front door and snuck back out when his friends went for help. He turned up when he realized he might get in trouble from his mom for coming in as far as he did. We were just about to radio you when you contacted us.”
“Figures,” muttered Johnny. He caught his breath just as the stokes jostled slightly as they began their descent.
The trip down the two flights of stairs was a memory that neither Johnny nor Roy would soon forget. Twice they had to stop and reposition the stokes. The missing treads and broken slats made their progress difficult at best. Each shift of the stokes brought forth a new groan from its reluctant passenger.
Johnny’s head was swimming from the awkward motions of the downward trek. He knew he would be denied a painkiller, in light of the fact that he had lost consciousness, twice that he was aware. He willed himself to go out again, with no success.
Anything would be better than this, he thought miserably.
Finally, and not a moment too soon, the six men reached the bottom. Meeting them at the doors were Brice and Bellingham.
My luck just gets better and better, commiserated Johnny.
“I want Bellingham.” Johnny glared at the two waiting paramedics as they approached.
“Sorry, Gage,” Brice informed him, sporting his normal dead-pan expression, “we drew straws… and I lost. You’ve got me.”
Just what I need today, a funny Brice, Johnny pondered one last thought as he felt himself drift once again.
<*> <*> <*> <*> <*> E! <*> <*> <*> <*> <*>
The next thing Johnny remembered was a set of bright lights hitting him full face. Lying on a gurney in one of Rampart’s exam rooms, Johnny flinched when he first saw Dr. Brackett’s face mere inches from his own.
“Johnny? Just can’t stay away from here, can you?” Brackett was an okay kind of guy but he needed to learn when to joke and when not to joke. At least that was Johnny’s first thought upon waking. He opened his eyes and blinked several times to get his bearings.
“Hey you,” Dixie winked at one of her favorite patients.
“Hey yourself,” answered Johnny. His voice sounded distant and muffled, but at least he was conscious. His leg was still killing him and his head throbbed. “Can I get something for this headache here?”
“In a bit, hang in there,” Dixie reassured him, putting her hand on his shoulder in a protective manner.
“How’s Roy?” he asked, remembering he wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt.
“Oh he’ll be fine, just a few bruised ribs, and a bump on the head. We’re keeping him overnight though. I suspect he’s in better shape than you are right now,” Dixie told him.
“Good.” Johnny closed his eyes again.
“Johnny?”
“Yeah, I’m still here, just hurts my eyes…the light.”
“Well, I can fix that.” Dixie reached up to turn off the exam light since the initial examination was complete. “Better?”
“Much.”
By the time Johnny's leg was set, the throbbing in his head had lessened, however miniscule the relief might have been. When Dixie returned with a wheelchair to take him to his room, she was greeted with a frown for her trouble.
“Now mind you, it’s not every patient that gets the head nurse of the ER to transport them to their rooms,” she reminded him.
“Oh don’t worry, Dix, you have my undying gratitude,” Johnny quipped back.
Now that’s better, she thought, at least his sense of humor is intact. Making their way to the second floor, Dixie stopped in front of a very familiar room.
“Here we go, the best in the house! Oh, I forgot to tell you, we’re pretty full, so you’ll have a roommate.”
“Wonderful,” Johnny grumbled, lending sarcasm to his tone.
“Now, Johnny, be nice, or I’ll leave you out here in the hallway.”
“Promise?” Johnny looked up behind him and winked at his driver.
“Promise!” she threatened good-naturedly.
The door swung open, and Johnny cupped his chin in his hand. A roommate was not what he’d wanted right now, unless….
He popped his head up and couldn’t stop the grin that formed when he saw his partner already settled into the next bed. Joanne was standing next to Roy with a smile on her face, a good sign, considering her two favorite men in the world were sharing a hospital room at the moment.
“Hey, Dixie, I thought you said this was a private suite!” Roy said in jest. Joanne swiped her hand playfully at Roy’s arm.
“Roy! Shame on you!” she scolded, her smile growing.
“Now both of you, behave yourselves!” Dixie reprimanded them, “I just thought the two of you might want to talk to someone, if you know what I mean.” She had a feeling that their earlier disagreement had not yet been settled, and figured a little bit of coercion on her part wouldn’t hurt.
Though Joanne hadn’t an inkling about the day’s events, when Dixie had filled her in earlier, she was all for the idea. Joanne knew her husband well and knew that this was the best way to get things out in the open. She hoped she knew Johnny well enough by now too, to hope it worked both ways.
Getting Johnny settled into his bed evoked another round of groans. Between the temporary cast on his leg and the still blackened eye, he looked like he’d been put through the proverbial ringer. Resting his head back into the pillow, he breathed deeply to regain his composure. After she was certain that both men were comfortable, Dixie left the room, informing them she needed to take care of some “sick patients.” Taking her cue, Joanne decided the time was right for her to bow out as well.
“I’m taking off, Honey,” she told her husband. “I have to pick up the kids. You two be on your best behavior now, or you’ll be in Dutch with me!” She threw both men the same warning glance. Leaning over, she kissed Roy good-bye. Walking over to Johnny’s bed, she gave him a light peck on the cheek, which drew a slight blush from the otherwise dauntless man.
Left alone, Roy was first to break the silence.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, you?” Johnny returned the inquiry.
“Yeah.”
Johnny snorted and with a smile he surveyed the two of them. “If we’re both so okay, what are we doing here then?”
“Um, look Johnny….” Roy tried for the third time that day.
“Look, before you say anything, I just wanted to say…I’m sorry,” Johnny interrupted again.
“You already said that, remember? But sorry for what?” Roy asked uncertainly.
“Sorry you got hurt. I thought I could get you out of the way in time,” Johnny apologized.
“You did. Too bad you didn’t get yourself out of the way too.” Roy raised his eyebrows, glancing down at Johnny’s cast.
“You know I’d never let you get hurt if I could help it, don’t you?” Johnny started to fiddle with the edge of the sheets covering him. He reminded Roy of a small boy when his insecurities rose to the surface.
“I know that,” Roy assured him.
Pausing slightly, Johnny’s fingers stilled as he asked his next question. “You also know I’d never hurt you, don’t you?” Frowning, he wasn’t certain he really wanted to hear the answer.
“I know that, too,” Roy stated simply.
Frustration showing on his face, Johnny asked, “Then can I ask what this morning was all about? I’ve been racking my brain all day tryin’ to figure it out.”
Roy sighed and took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to understand it myself.” He knew the day’s misunderstanding had nothing to do with anything that his partner had said, but rather in the way he had interpreted it. “It had nothing to do with you. It was me. I was…out of sorts, I guess.”
“I guess!” Johnny laughed easily, confident again in their friendship to joke about the apparent miscommunication.
“I had a really busy weekend and was dead tired yet when I got into work. And then you came in….”
“And I’m going on and on about my great weekend, with no work….” Johnny continued for him.
“Well, yeah, I guess that was it. Look, I’m really sorry I snapped at you,” Roy took his turn at an apology.
“Yeah, well, sometimes I guess I’m not too good at reading people.”
“Sometimes I’m not too good at letting things slide,” Roy admitted.
“Sometimes we both get on each other’s nerves,” Johnny offered.
“Think we need a change in partnership?” Roy asked out of blue.
“Roy?”
“Sometime soon, you need to learn to quit when you’re ahead,” Johnny scoffed at his partner, but grinning as he spoke.
“You know what, Partner? Sometimes you’re right!”
“Only sometimes?” Johnny exclaimed indignantly.
Roy laid his head back, closed his eyes and smiled, and ignored Johnny’s question.
Yes, sometimes, it takes just a little, to say a whole lot...and that was just fine with Johnny as he closed his own eyes, smiling….
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