Surprise!
(Not as in the episode <G>)
Part 2
Johnny was relieved when he hadn’t seen the Muppets at Rampart the remainder of the shift. He was even more relieved not to have a run-in with them for over a week. On a quiet afternoon, he relaxed as he sat at the table in the dayroom, enjoying a glass of milk.
It’s gotta be over with. . .maybe they’ve moved on to another hospital.
Roy had noticed an upbeat mood in his partner over the past couple of shifts and wondered what the reason for it could be.
“You finally hook up with the girl of your dreams?”
“Huh?”
Roy sat down across from Gage. “You’ve been so happy lately. . .like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders. You’d seemed kind of bugged the past week. So I was wondering if you’ve hit if off with someone special. . .”
“Oh. Oh. . .no. . .no. In fact, it’s the opposite,” he said leaning forward. “It’s because of who I haven’t been seeing that I’m happy.”
The senior paramedic didn’t know what to say. He looked at the younger man with a blank stare. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke.
“Just don’t try to explain it to me.”
“Don’t worry,” Johnny snorted. “I won’t.” You wouldn’t believe me anyway. . .
Just then the klaxons went off, sending the station to a child trapped in a location of town where a couple of old abandoned warehouses sat waiting to be demolished. The engine was returning from another location and would meet the squad at the scene.
~*~*~
By the time the paramedics arrived at the rescue, the engine crew had already gotten an explanation from a woman on the scene. Captain Stanley approached DeSoto and Gage.
“We’ve got two kids inside the building on the left,” he said pointing to one of the rundown structures. “Their friend ran to a store down the block to get someone to call us. The store owner sent one of his employees down here with the kid to wait for us.”
“Any idea exactly where they are?” Johnny wondered, eyeing the place.
The captain shook his head. “Other than that they were on the third floor and bumped into something. A portion of the ceiling came down blocking them in.”
“Well, let’s get movin’,” Roy said, glancing at his partner. Johnny nodded.
“Kelly and Lopez went in right before you guys got here,” Hank went on to explain, following alongside them. “You two can catch up with them. Mike and I’ll wait out here in case you need any equipment.”
“Okay, Cap,” Johnny said as they continued on to the squad to get their turnout coats on. They then headed into the unstable structure.
~*~*~
The floorboards creaked underneath their weight as the paramedics slowly made their way up to the third floor; they could hear their two shiftmates calling out for the boys. Once there, Johnny and Roy found Marco and Chet at the pile of lumber that had once been a portion of the ceiling and top floor above. Two long pieces of beams and other assorted boards had landed in various directions, crisscrossing each other; some holding others in place. It was now clear as to how the boys were actually trapped. A door that opened outward from a room was closed and being held in position by the rubble.
“Any sound from the other side?” Roy wondered
Chet nodded. “Yeah. You can barely hear ’em, but they’re definitely there.”
Johnny stepped up close to the pile. “Are either of you hurt?” he yelled.
“No,” came a muffled reply. “But Wiley’s gotta go to da bafroom!”
The firemen exchanged amused glances at what the scene must be like on the other side of the door.
“It may be awhile before we get you out!” Johnny answered. “Tell ‘im to just find a spot somewhere and go.”
“He can’t. He’ll get in trouble.”
Roy grinned as he stepped up near his partner. “Tell Wiley it’s okay. This old building is gonna get torn down anyway.”
There was a brief pause, and then, “He can’t. He’ll get grounded.”
“I wonder why Wiley can’t tell us,” Marco pondered.
“Probably too busy trying to concentrate on holding his bladder,” Chet said with a smirk.
“We can pull some of this away, but I think we’re still gonna need the K-12 to cut through the beams.”
Roy agreed with his partner and Chet contacted the captain on the HT to let him know. Soon Mike Stoker was with the others and cutting the beams.
~*~*~
Within twenty minutes, the firemen had the door open. One little boy about six-years-old dashed past them, obviously in a rush to find a bathroom.
“I’m surprised he held it that long,” Chet commented to Marco.
The other boy cautiously stepped out and peered around. Johnny startled when he noticed a stuffed toy in the boy’s right hand that resembled Doctor Bob, the Muppet. He was relieved to see it was just a floppy brown dog that could probably be found in any toy store.
I hope this isn’t an omen. . .
He couldn’t shake the feeling he might be seeing the Muppet medical crew soon after all.
~*~*~
The paramedics and engine crew returned to the station after a police officer took the boys from the warehouse down to the station to locate their parents. Still thinking about Doctor Bob and his ‘far-out’ nurses, Johnny sat quietly in the dayroom watching TV as the others joked about how little Wiley had so much determination, that he was still holding back going to the bathroom when he got into the police car.
“Man, that kid could win an Olympic event,” Chet teased.
“Well, the day that becomes a competition in the Olympics, is the day I quit watching,” Mike said.
“Hey, Roy, one of your kids could sign up for that one.”
The senior paramedic rolled his eyes and shook his head at Chet’s comment. “They wouldn’t last beyond five minutes.”
Johnny continued to stare at the television screen, wondering if his thought about an omen was correct. He didn’t get to think on it long before the klaxons went off, sending the squad out on a run for a man down.
~*~*~
“Take a left at the next intersection,” Gage directed.
Roy made the turn as directed and continued down the next street that had some construction going on in the business area it was in. Three blocks later, the call was cancelled.
“Man, you know, sometimes you’ve gotta wonder how these things can just be cancelled,” Johnny stated. He turned slightly in his seat to face his partner. “I mean, either they need us or they don’t. . .but how can the situation just change so quick like that?” he asked, snapping his fingers.
The senior paramedic shrugged as he turned into a nearby parking lot and got back onto the street going the opposite direction as before. “I don’t know. But apparently it does.”
The paramedics noticed a green pickup truck several car lengths ahead hauling large cinderblocks, its tailgate latch obviously broken and a thin white rope being used to hold it somewhat secure. The ends of the rope were each tied to small metal loops that were located on the main body of the rear of the vehicle. But the pressure from the load was pushing the gate outward at an angle.
“Now there’s a disaster waiting ta happen,” Johnny commented.
Roy nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that rope doesn’t look like it’s gonna hold. I wonder if we can get his attention. . .” He pressed down on the gas pedal a bit more, just slightly accelerating their speed. As soon as they were a car length behind the truck, Roy moved his right hand with the intention of honking the horn. But instead he found himself grabbing the steering wheel with both hands again as the green vehicle hit a large pot-hole and in one instant, the rope that had been pushed beyond its limits broke. The tail gate released, sending many of the cinderblocks tumbling onto the street and into the path of the oncoming squad.
Too close to be able to swerve and miss the large chunks from the blocks smashing as they hit the ground, Roy slammed on the brakes hard. The squad came to a screeching halt as the tires rolled over several of the broken pieces, giving the paramedics a brief but bumpy ride. More prepared for the sudden stop and with the steering wheel to hang on to, Roy was fortunate to avoid hitting anything inside the cab; his partner wasn’t so lucky.
Gage saw stars explode in front of his face as his forehead connected with the windshield when he was unexpectedly thrown forward.
“Johnny!”
The younger man heard Roy’s distressed voice, but in his stunned state of mind, it sounded distant instead of right beside him. He soon felt hands on his shoulders, helping him as he slowly leaned back in the seat.
“Oh man. . .”
“Don’t move anymore,” Roy commented. “Just let me take a look at your head.”
“Don’. . .don’ worry.” He winced as he asked, “You. . .okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” After calling over the radio for an ambulance and another squad, Roy carefully examined the small gash near his partner’s hairline; a trickle of blood was already running down his forehead and onto the bridge of his nose. “I wish I could say the same for you.”
The driver of the green truck had stopped up the road when he heard tires squealing and felt the load he was hauling suddenly shift. He trotted up to the driver’s side window of the squad.
“Hey, you guys all right?”
Roy shifted his position to open the door. “I’m okay, but my partner’s not,” he answered as he climbed out, the squad door forcing the other man to step back.
“I’ll go get help.”
“No, that’s okay. I already called it in.”
It was then the man remembered they’d have a radio in the squad. “Look, I’m really sorry. I’ll pay for any damages to your firetruck. What ever you want.”
“We’ll let the police decide all that when they get here. My main concern right now is him,” Roy said indicating Johnny inside the squad. Though a little shaky on his feet as well, the senior paramedic made his way around to the other side of the vehicle and opened the compartment doors. He got out the biophone, drug and trauma boxes. He then opened the passenger side door and once again looked at Gage’s forehead before getting out an alcohol wipe to clean off the blood. Johnny jerked slightly and sucked in air when he felt the sting as Roy gently dabbed at the wound.
DeSoto them took out a pressure bandage and a piece of gauze to bandage his partner’s injury. As he wrapped the cloth around the top part of Gage’s head, he tried to get more information.
“You hurt anywhere else?”
“Huh?”
“Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“Huh. . .uh. I don’ . . .think so.”
“Okay.” Roy set up the biophone and contacted Rampart.
Suddenly Johnny became more alert at the mention of the hospital. Images of Doctor Bob and his two nurses flashed in his mind. Oh no. . . “Wait. . .Roy. . .let’s just go. . .back to the station. I’m. . .I’m all right.”
“Like hell you are.”
“No, I am . . .really.” He moved to sit forward; Roy quickly got up and gently eased him back by the shoulders.
“Stay put.”
“But. . . I’m o--”
“Just humor me then.”
Realizing he wasn’t going to win, Johnny sighed. Humor. . .man, if those Muppets get a hold of me I’ll be even worse off from the bad jokes.
~*~*~
Once he had Johnny taken care of, Roy stepped to the front of the squad to check out the damage while an officer talked to the driver of the other truck near his patrol car. Luckily there were only a few dents to the bumper where chunks of cinderblock had flown back or up into it.
“Well, the squad’s gonna live,” he joked with his partner when he returned to his side. Roy wasn’t sure if he was trying to lighten things for Johnny’s benefit or his own. The guilt of inadvertently putting the younger man into the windshield was starting to eat at him.
When Johnny heard more sirens approaching, he groaned. “Roy. . .did ya hafta call an ambulance? Couldn’t we just go. . .in the squad?”
“Are you kiddin’ me? For one, like it or not, we were involved in an accident. I can’t just drive away before the cop’s done investigating. And on the other. . .have you forgotten riding in the squad is what got you an ambulance ride in the first place?”
“But--”
“Don’t try tell me you’re all right again.”
Gage sighed and waited for the inevitable.
~*~*~
Soon paramedic Dwayne Canton from Station 8 took over for Roy in caring for Gage, leaving 51’s senior paramedic more time to be sure the officer on the scene got an accurate story of what took place. Dwayne’s partner stepped near the front of the damaged squad to see just how bad the dents were.
“You two sure know how to ruin Charlie the mechanic’s day,” he stated, shaking his head.
Just getting out of the squad and onto a stretcher with Dwayne’s assistance, Johnny glanced over. He had a headache that was becoming more intense by the minute. That being the case, his only response was a quick shrug, followed by, “My brakes. . .didn’t work. . .”
Though Johnny was joking, the other two men nodded knowingly. How often had they, on or off duty, found themselves as passengers hitting those non-existent brakes. There were times it seemed that having an extra set of brakes might not be such a bad idea. Then again an idea like that could lead to disaster on the streets if the passenger hit them at a bad time.
~*~*~
It wasn’t long before Johnny was on his way in the ambulance, the other squad following behind. Roy was on his way to drop off the damaged squad at the garage and get the keys for a spare one. He wasn’t looking forward to Charlie the mechanic’s reaction to the dents. And he was sure Charlie would want to go over the vehicle with a fine tooth comb, so to speak, searching for anything else that might be damaged.
Due to the fact the squad was handling a bit differently, Roy was pretty sure it was out of alignment. Why not? We ran over enough cinderblock pieces. . . He shook his head. Charlie’s never gonna let us live this one down.
Roy couldn’t help but agree with his partner now; he’d much rather be on his way back to the station and have it a routine shift.
~*~*~
Johnny lay on the stretcher, his eyes closed in an effort to will away his headache. Suddenly his mind drifted back to a familiar doctor and two far-out nurses.
Maybe this is the next ‘show’. Maybe I’m really gonna be that crazy dog’s next patient. “Maybe it’s all in the script,” he accidentally mumbled out loud. He slowly opened his eyes to slits and noted a strange look he was getting from Dwayne. Gage forced a weak smile, then grimaced as another throbbing pain shot through his head. Please let it be Brackett or Early. . .even Morton. . .
~*~*~
When they arrived at the hospital, Johnny was aware of being taken out of the ambulance. But he once again closed his eyes for the trip to the treatment room for as soon as they’d gotten inside the Emergency entrance, the bright lights above were too much for him to take at the moment. And the quick passing of scenery wouldn’t have helped him any.
Once they were in the treatment room, Johnny kept his eyes closed and quietly asked, “Who. . .who’s the doctor?”
“Joe Early. Why?”
Gage opened his eyes, relieved to see that it was indeed Early standing near the exam table, waiting. “I. . . was just wonderin’.”
When the stretcher was beside the exam table, the ambulance attendants helped Dwayne transfer Johnny over, then quickly departed from the room.
“I hear you kind of went for a wild ride,” Early commented as he began his assessment of Gage’s condition.
“Not exactly. . .just a sudden . . .stop.”
“I think I’d take a wild ride over that, if I had a choice.”
Johnny nodded slightly and reached up to touch the bandage on his head. “After this. . .I think I’d agree.”
“Well, let’s take a look that cut.” As the doctor removed the bandaging he inquired, “Roy said you never lost consciousness. Is that right?”
“I. . .uh. ..I don’t think I did.”
“He said John was stunned at first,” Dwayne filled in.
Early nodded in acknowledgement. “You really took a wallop,” he commented as he examined the wound. “I’d say it’s gonna take at least four stitches.”
Johnny groaned.
“Doc, he’s been somewhat disoriented,” Dwayne added.
“He has?.”
I have?
“Yeah, he mumbled something about ‘it’ being in the script.” Dwayne glanced at Johnny and shrugged. He could tell by the expression now on his face that the injured paramedic wasn’t thrilled he brought that up. As long as Gage was displeased anyway, Dwayne decided to let on about more. “Roy also said John just wanted to go back to work and skip seeing anyone here.”
The doctor continued to work on the paramedic while still trying to assess the effects from the blow to his head. “Thanks for filling me in.”
Tired of being talked about and not talked to, Johnny spoke up. “So, Doc. . . can I go home. . .tonight?”
“I don’t think that’d be such a good idea.” He’d numbed the area surrounding the cut, and was now stitching up the injury. When the last stitch was in, Johnny tried to sit up, in hopes of showing he was well enough to leave. But Early gently pushed him back down by the shoulders.
“Bu. . .but. . .I’m not hurt that bad.”
“You may not think so. But I don’t agree.”
“Ah man, Roy’s been hurt like this in an accident before. . . and he even got to go back to work. I mean. . .I jus’ have a headache.”
Joe Early smiled. “He didn’t need stitches, if I remember right. Look, I’m just gonna keep you overnight for observation. It’s more precautionary than anything else. But I think under the circumstances, it’s for the best.”
“Bu--”
The doctor patted his arm. “Take it easy, Johnny. I’m sure you’ll be out of here before you know it.” He turned to the nurse who was assisting him and instructed her to get Gage something to alleviate his headache.
Johnny sighed. He sat up with the help of the nurse and took two pills, all the while wondering where his partner was. . .
~*~*~
Driving the replacement squad to the station, Roy cringed as he thought back to Charlie’s reaction to the damaged one he’d turned in. He’d barely gotten a word out before the mechanic was standing in front of the squad shaking his head and wondering what the two paramedics were thinking before they ran over the debris.
“It’s not like anyone can stop the squad on a dime,” the senior paramedic had defended.
But it was only when Roy stated that Johnny was injured that Charlie was able to calm down somewhat, though not entirely.
Roy had planned on going to Rampart directly from getting the new squad. But when he made a phone call to Captain Stanley, he found out that his partner was being admitted for the night and a replacement would soon be on the way to Station 51.
I’ll have to pop in on Johnny later and see how he’s doing.
He still couldn’t believe the younger man wanted to skip Rampart and head back to the station.
He was really out of it. . .
~*~*~
The pain medication having made him drowsy, Johnny had to be awakened by nurses once an hour for his first three hours at Rampart. They’d been instructed to do the regular checks to make sure he was progressing okay.
When he’d asked about his partner, he was told Roy said that he’d be by in the morning when Johnny would be well rested and more alert. He hoped to be able to give his partner a lift back to the station to get his Land Rover sometime the next day.
When the fourth check came, Gage was already awake and feeling a little better as he rested in the slightly inclined bed. Though kind of woozy from both the head injury and being asleep most of the afternoon and early evening, he wasn’t too tired to notice the nurse was attractive.
“Well, how are you feeling, Mister Gage?”
“Better. . .kinda.” He didn’t want to overplay any improvement. A little sympathy from the nurse could go a long way in helping him pull at her heart strings.
She took the chart off the end of his bed and set it on a night stand near the head of it. She then gently took his left wrist in her hand and checked his pulse.
“You’ve got. . .nice hands . . .uh . . .”
The nurse smiled. “Patty. Or Mrs.Trenton to you.”
Johnny frowned and was quiet through the rest of her visit. When she was done getting his vitals, she wrote them on the chart, then looked at the downcast paramedic.
“Is there anything you need me to get before I go?”
Gage shook his head slightly. “No, I’m okay.”
“Is the pain medication holding out okay?”
“Yeah.” He did have a slight headache coming on, but figured as long as he kept still and continued to rest, it shouldn’t amount to anything. Or at least he hoped not. He watched as the door closed behind the nurse, then sighed.
Figures she’d be married.
~*~*~
A short time later, Johnny closed his eyes and was just drifting off to sleep again when something jostled the bed. His eyes shot open and he startled at what was looming over his face.
“Wha. . .”
Nurse Piggy stared a moment at the dark-haired paramedic’s open-mouthed and frozen-in-place expression, then shoved Nurse Janice back as she jumped into action.
“Outta the way, I’ve gotta give him mouth-to-mouth!”
“You mean resuscitation?”
“No, just mouth-to-mouth!”
Johnny sputtered as the pig’s mouth connected with his lips and mustered all the strength he had to push Nurse Piggy away, leaning forward as he did so. “I don’t. . . need mouth-to-mouth. . .” he assured, swiping a hand across his lips.
“Who said anything about you?”
“I’m. . . the patient.”
“If that’s patient, I’d hate to see impatient,” came a remark from Doctor Bob.
“No, not . . .” Gage looked at the three medical personnel on and around his bed. “Wait a minute. . .what’re you doin’ here. . .in the first place?”
“Actually this is the second place.”
The paramedic gave an uncomprehending look. “Huh?”
The brown dog with the surgical uniform on shrugged. “Well we just performed an operation on an unconscious one-legged flamingo. So that was the first place.”
“An unconscious . . . one-legged. . .flamingo? You do know. . .they sleep on one. . .leg. . .”
The doctor was silent a moment before replying, “I guess the third place will be surgery on a confused three-legged flamingo.”
Johnny rolled his eyes. “That’s it.” He sat up straighter and pushed the blanket back, at the same time carefully bringing his legs over the side of the bed. Steadying himself with one hand on the edge, he continued, “I don’t need some quack doctor. . .”
“Quack doctor? You must have me confused with someone else. I’m not a bird dog.”
The paramedic groaned in misery, then swayed slightly as he tried to adjust his position to get up. His headache that had been coming on intensified. Oh man. . .
“Look,” Johnny said as he sat still, not sure he should stand up. “You’re not even. . .my doctor. Where’s . . .Early?”
Doctor Bob shrugged. “I guess he’s late.”
Nurse Janice and Nurse Piggy snickered as Johnny again rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He regretted it when a woozy feeling washed over him. The paramedic glanced over his right shoulder at the two nurses and gave a displeased look when he realized they were both ogling his backside that was partially exposed through the loosely tied hospital gown. He awkwardly reached for the slit behind him and tried to hold it closed with one hand.
“I thought you. . .” he directed at Doctor Bob, who was near the foot of the bed. “I thought you’re all. . .just in the Emergency rooms.”
“We were. But they thought we’d improve our ratings if we switched scenery for awhile.”
That was it. Johnny figured that Dwayne had to be right. He was disoriented and now hallucinating about the script. That had to be the answer. If he just played along, the whole thing might come to an end much sooner. Resigned to his fate for now, he gave in and put his feet back up, covering himself with the blanket. But as he started to relax, the door opened and in walked another familiar character. Johnny sat staring with his mouth again hanging open as the others looked on casually.
Fozzie Bear carried a tray with a bowl of jello and a glass of water on it and set it on the bed in Johnny’s lap.
“What’m I ‘sposed to do with this?”
“It’s your dinner.”
“Jello? It’s not like I just. . .had my tonsils out.” Before the bear could reply, Gage was already answering for himself. “Never mind. . .I don’ wanna know. My head hurts. . .as it is. Jus’ one thing. . .”
“Sure.”
“Where’s your dog? I thought you. . . worked around the lab. . .?”
“Oh, I had to leave him behind when I transferred to the cafeteria. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, ya know.”
Fozzie turned and left, ignoring the lost look on Johnny’s face.
“Well, we’re done,” Doctor Bob said as he and the Nurse Janice headed for the door.
“Done? You didn’t . . .even do anything.”
“That’s the problem with the second place. It’s always someone else’s first place and everything’s been taken care of.”
Johnny glanced to the side and did a double take. Nurse Piggy was still right beside him, a dreamy look on her face.
“Aren’t you. . .goin’ with ‘em?” he wondered.
She shook her head. “I shouldn’t’ve been with them in the first place.”
Johnny wasn’t sure what she meant. “You_ mean_ the first place. . .as in the ‘first place’ or . . .as in to begin with?”
“Right.”
He put a hand to his ever increasingly aching head and sighed. “Well, which. . .is it?”
All of a sudden both Johnny and Nurse Piggy looked up to the ceiling and around the room when they heard a loud echoey voice say, “And now time for another episode of ‘Pigs in Spaaaaaaace’ . . .”, the sound fading as it ended the sentence.
Nurse Piggy’s shoulders slumped. “And that would be my third place.” She leaned forward to kiss Johnny but he pulled back, then frowned. She sighed and quickly jumped off the bed, headed for the door. “Till next time, cutie.”
Johnny watched as the door closed behind her. What’s next?
As if in answer to his question, a little blue almost bird-looking creature with a long hooked nose came into the room and hopped up on the bed. Pushing the jello bowl aside on the tray, he laid five playing cards face down on the clear space and looked at the paramedic. “Pick a card. . .any card.” His voice was gruff.
“A card?”
“Any card.”
“Look, I don’t know. . . what you’re doin’ here, but I really. . . am not in the mood for silly parlor-room card tricks.” I’m not in the mood for ‘anything’ for that matter, he thought, looking at the jello with disgust. . . “Who are you anyway?”
“I’m the card-iologist.”
Johnny just stared blankly at the little guy. Why didn’t I see that coming? The paramedic sighed. “If it’ll get you outta my room. . .I’ll do anything.” He then chose a card. Knowing how the trick was supposed to go, he looked at it, then placed it back with the others, still face down.
“Now Gonzo the Great will tell you what your card was. . .”
Johnny waited, unable to even pretend to be entertained.
“It’s this one,” Gonzo said after picking up the cards and shuffling them, then choosing one.
Gage peered at it. By gosh, he got it. . .it had to be luck. . . He scrutinized the little guy. “Hey, I’ll bet ya my jello. . . you can’t do that again.”
“Jello?” The visitor eyed the small bowl of soft and colorful food. “You’re on.”
Johnny watched as the Muppet shuffled the cards and laid them out on the tray again. The paramedic then picked one and put it back as before. Gonzo gathered up the cards and shuffled them again, then picked out the card Johnny had selected.
They did the same steps three more times, betting with various items, before Gage grabbed up all the cards and looked at them together.
“These cards are all the same. . .the two of hearts!”
Gonzo peered around as if to see who might’ve overheard the outburst. Seeing they were still alone, he addressed Johnny. “Okay, so you got me,” he said in a hushed gravely voice. “If you promise not to tell, I’ll let you keep your jello, spoon, pillow, water and magazines. I’ve got a hot date with a nurse and if she finds out. . .”
“You? Have a date. . . with a nurse?”
Gonzo nodded.
“From here?”
Again the Muppet nodded.
“Even I can’t get a date. . . with a nurse from here. Well, not unless I was willing. . . to date a pig. . .literally. . . but that’s beside the point. How’d you manage?”
Gonzo gathered up his stuff and shrugged as he turned to leave. “I guess it was just in the cards.”
Johnny couldn’t reply. Too stunned, he just stared as the ‘cardiologist’ headed for the exit. Suddenly the door opened revealing a chicken in a nurse’s hat. Gonzo quickly put his arm around her and guided her back out of the room, glancing over his shoulder as the door closed, leaving the paramedic alone. Gage frowned.
There’s something fowl going on here. . . “Oh man,” he groaned, “I’m even makin’ myself sick. . .”
~*~*~
The next time the door to Johnny’s room opened, he was ready for just about anything to walk in. But much to his surprise, it was his partner.
“Man, am I glad. . . to see you. . .”
“Well, when Dix said she heard you were doing a lot better, I figured you’d be ready for some company.”
Johnny put a couple of fingers to his forehead, as if it’d somehow help his now aching head. “Normal company.”
“Normal. . ?” Roy decided this was another one of his partner’s remarks he probably wasn’t going to want to be elaborated on, so he decided to go to another subject. “You okay? You look like you might be hurtin.”
“Well, I could use somethin’ . . .for this headache. . .,” he admitted, bringing his hand down.
Roy nodded and pressed the call button for him. It crossed his mind that Johnny could’ve done the same for himself. Did he want to know why he hadn’t?
“You should’ve called for someone,” the senior paramedic stated. There; it was out.
“I would’ve,” Johnny said with a frown. “But I wasn’t sure. . .I was ready for any more chickens.”
Well, I have to admit, I didn’t expect *that* kind of response, Roy thought to himself. He stared blankly, not sure what to say. He must’ve had one hell of a dream. . . “Uh. . .chickens? As in the feathered kind?”
Johnny nodded slightly. “Someone else has to’ve seen ‘um this time.”
“This time?”
“Roy. . .” Gage sighed. He could tell by the expression on his friend’s face that it wasn’t going over well. “You think I’m . . . imagining things . . .don’t ya?”
“Well, the thought crossed my mind.” When he saw the look of disappointment, he continued on. “Look, you probably just had a wild dream. . .you did hit your head pretty hard. And then with the medication. . .” Still seeing dissatisfaction on his partner’s face, he shifted his gaze to the tray on the bed. “Your jello’s melting.”
While Johnny’s attention went to the food, Roy again thought about the remark. This time. . .?
“Roy, never mind about the jello. . .there’s somethin’ really strange goin’ on.” Johnny leaned forward to explain when the door opened. Both men looked to the nurse coming into the room.
The attractive young woman smiled. “What can I do for you?”
“He needs something for a headache.” For starters anyway. . .
While his mind and eyes normally would’ve remained on the beautiful nurse, Johnny instead returned his attention to Roy. He was scrutinizing the older paramedic, wishing he could read his mind.
“I’ll be right back,” the woman said as she went out the door.
Roy watched her leave, then looked at Johnny, noticing the intense stare. “What now?”
“Nothin’. I’m jus’ wonderin’ what you would’ve told ‘er if I wasn’t in the room.”
Roy opened his mouth to respond when his temporary partner opened the door. “Roy, we’ve got a run.”
“Okay.” He addressed Johnny. “Take it easy and I’ll. . .uh. . .see ya later.”
“Yeah. . .sure. . .”
The door closed and Gage sat alone staring at his melted jello. I’ll bet he thinks I’m more confused than a three legged flamingo. . .
~*~*~
Having taken the needed pain medication, Johnny was once again sleeping peacefully. Though he’d doubted at first that he’d be relaxed enough to get some rest knowing the Muppets were somewhere in the hospital again, the medicine made him drowsy and he lost the battle of staying awake to keep a watchful eye out.
He hadn’t been asleep for very long when a clucking sound entered his mind. Recalling Gonzo’s ‘girlfriend’, Johnny bolted upright and quickly scanned the room, wiping at his tired eyes as he did so.
When he cast his gaze downward, he saw a line of chickens all dressed in nurse’s uniforms parading into his room.
“Wha. . .what’s this?”
The first in line handed him a piece of paper. “We’re here to give you our phone numbers. . .”
“Phone numbers?”
“Sure,” said the second one. “You want to date nurses, don’t ya?”
He watched silently, his mouth agape as one by one the chickens hopped up on the bed, placed a slip of paper with a name and number on it in his lap as they flirtatiously batted their eyelashes; each then hopped back down and retreated from the room. As it came near the end of the line, his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped further when a familiar face appeared in the doorway.
“Dix! You too?”
“Hey, you didn’t think I was going to let my nurses have all the fun, did you?”
Stunned, he slowly shook his head. Wait. Her nurses? So she sees ‘em too. . .
As the head nurse neared her turn, Johnny eyed her warily. “Dix, do you realize your nurses are. . .chickens?”
“I beg to differ. They’re really quite courageous in what they do around here. . .”
“No, I mean--”
But before he could explain, there was a commotion at the doorway as Nurse Piggy came running in, knocking the remaining chickens aside. “Stand back, he’s mine!” Dressed in a wedding gown, she hurried toward the bed. But Gonzo and Dixie both stepped on the train of her dress, causing her to land flat on her back.
“I want a piece of him first,” Gonzo stated, “For stealing my chick!”
“Sorry, but he’s all mine,” Dixie said as she gave a flirty wink at the paramedic.
“But--”
Once again Johnny was cut off, this time by Doctor Brackett, who’d come to profess his love for Dixie McCall. As she ran to embrace the other man, Gage was left at the mercy of an angry Gonzo and lusting Nurse Piggy. The little blue creature was flexing his hand to try to muster up a muscle somewhere in his scrawny arm when he heard the pig declare she and Johnny were to be married. As a result, Gonzo was suddenly ‘the guy’ for the chickens once again, and any revenge on the paramedic was forgotten.
Before he could even find time to blink, Johnny’s room was cleared of everyone except for himself and the pig. Now on the bed beside him, she nestled up close. “So, how about we get married today? Hmmmm? I even found someone to perform the ceremony.”
It was then Johnny noticed a mole carrying a bible and wearing an old-time preacher’s hat and suit enter the room. He glanced at the nurse. “Gee, where’d ya dig him up at?”
“Very funny; now let’s get on with this thing. . .”
“I can’t! I can’t get married to you!”
“Sorry, handsome, but it’s in the script. Deal with it.”
“Wait! What about the frog? You know. . .your boyfriend?”
“His legs are too skinny. . .”
The paramedic pushed back his blanket. “I’ve got skinny legs. . .look!” When he noticed her ogling him again, he quickly pulled the blanket back up. He could tell he wasn’t going to get out of this one on his own.
“Roy! Roy, help!” Where *is* he when I need ‘im? “Roy!”
Just then Johnny let out a yell and bolted upright. Damp with sweat and slightly out of breath, he looked around the room and saw that it was darkened; a nurse peeked inside from a brightly lit hallway.
“Is everything okay? You yelled for help.”
The paramedic sighed and leaned back against his pillow on the slightly inclined bed. “Yeah. ..yeah, I’m fine.” Whew, it was all a dream. . .
“You want something to eat? We didn’t realize until just a short time ago that somehow you missed being served a real meal. But we could probably get you some chicken sou--.”
“NO!” By the look on her face, he realized he’d said it with a little too much force. “No. . .no, I’m okay. . .I’m all right.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I. . .uh. . .I just kinda had a . . .a nightmare.”
She smiled as she closed the door. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes for your regular check.”
“Okay.”
When the nurse was gone, Johnny once again looked around the room and sighed. He rested his hands in his lap and was surprised to find a small slip of paper. Not wanting to look for fear of what he’d see, he slowly held it up where the dim light in the room made it more visible. It was blank. Relief spread across his face until one more question arose. How’d it get here?
~*~*~
The following morning, Doctor Early gave Johnny clearance to be discharged. Having been notified, Roy sat in a chair in the room and waited as his partner changed into his regular street clothes that Roy had brought over from the station. Johnny came out of the bathroom and placed the hospital gown he’d worn on the bed.
“Man, if you only knew. . .” He paused a moment, wondering how much to say.
“Knew what?”
If I tell ‘im, he’s gonna think I’m nuts and I’ll be stuck here another day. . .“Knew what a busy place this is at night. I think I’da been better off resting at home.”
“You know what they say. ‘If you want a good night’s sleep, you’ll have to wait till you’re out of the hospital’.”
“Whoever said that was dead-on.”
“Well, you ready to get out of here?”
Johnny smiled. “Yeah, let’s blow this popsicle joint.”
Roy got to his feet as Dixie came into the room pushing an empty wheel chair.
“Well, you sure look happy to be going home,” she commented to Johnny.
“I. . .uh. . .I am,” Johnny stated. He tried to look in any direction but directly at the nurse.
“Something wrong?” she wondered.
“No. . .no. Nothin’. I’m just anxious to get outta here.” He quickly took a seat in the chair. “Let’s go.”
Roy shrugged when Dixie’s questioning look went to him. Both had expected Johnny’s usual denial that he needed a wheel chair to depart.
“I try not to dig too deep for answers. I just go with the flow and figure the less I understand, the better off I am.”
The frown on Johnny’s face wasn’t lost on either of them.
“Don’t worry,” Dixie said, as she started to push him toward the door. “A little intrigue is good. In fact keep it up. It’ll make you that much more interesting to women.”
“Uh. . .you mean other women, doncha, Dix?” Please mean other women. . .
“Other than who?”
“You know.”
Roy followed behind. “Other than the ones that’ve ignored or dumped ‘im.”
“Hey. . .”
Roy noticed Johnny glancing around as they headed for the elevator.
“What’re you looking for?”
“Uh. . .just a few ‘chicks’ I’ve seen around here lately.” Where do all the Muppets *go* when they aren’t with *me*? Do they just disappear?
“You aren’t gonna start that chicken thing again, are ya?”
“Chicken thing?” Dixie wondered.
“I just had a dream. . .a wild dream. . .and I made the mistake of mentioning it to Roy.” With a sour expression, he repeated, “A big mistake.”
Once again Roy just shrugged.
~*~*~
Soon the two paramedics were headed for Johnny’s apartment. Chet had driven Johnny’s Land Rover to the place while Marco followed behind to give the mustached fireman a ride back to his own car at the station.
As Roy turned onto Gage’s street, the younger man shifted slightly in his seat. “Hey, when I’m back for the next shift, we still have an agreement that you go in with the victims, right?”
“I don’t know. You sure you wanna be in the squad that much more? Or do I have to remind you again that being in the squad is what put you in the hospital in the first place.”
“The first place,” Johnny groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
“Look, we’ll see what happens when we get back to work next shift. In the meantime, don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Or at least wait till you’ve got all your ducks lined up in a row.”
Gage moaned inwardly. If you only knew, Roy. . .if you only knew. . .
Thanks to Jill Hargan for the beta read. :o) Any errors medical or otherwise are mine alone.
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