Note: This story was in response to a challenge to write a story in dialogue only


The Captainís Office

By Lisa Damiani


12:00 pm

Hey, Cap?

Hey Pal, come on in.

Ok. Um.. I need a favor.

If I can.

Marco is cooking tonight. Can you please tell him to lay off the jalapeno peppers just this once? My stomach canít handle another four alarm fire tonight.

Iíll see what I can do.

Thanks, Cap.

Sure thing, Mike.

12:10 pm

Got a minute, Cap?

Sure, Marco. Whatís up?

I think maybe you should talk to Roy today.

Really? Why is that?

They lost a patient on their last run. Royís taking it pretty hard. He thinks there was more he should have done. You know Roy.

Yeah, I do.... Iíll have a word with him.

Thatíd be great, Cap. I hate watching him beat himself up over these things.

No problem. Uh- hey Marco?

Yeah, Cap?

Whachíya cooking tonight, pal?

Youíre going to love it Cap. I just got this new recipe from my mom. Carne Guisada! Itís awesome. And then for dessert, Iím going to make a  Jalapeno Pie.*

Sounds Great, pal. But do you think maybe we can have something a little sweater for dessert? My stomach has been acting finicky lately. I donít think the Jalapeno would be a good idea. Take it easy on your oleí captain, huh?.

Oh, well I guess I can make a strudel.

Appreciate it, pal!

You got it, Cap.

12:30 pm

Sorry to bother you, Cap.

Itís no trouble, whatís up?

Iím in a bit of a bind.

I know all about it, Roy. And believe me when I tell you, there was nothing more you could have done for that kid this morning. You have to stop beating yourself up about it. In this business there are just some patients you canít save.

I know that, Cap. I thought about it some and talked it over a little with Marco. I know I did all I could... I just feel bad I couldnít do more. But like you said, You canít win them all. But thatís not really what I wanted to talk to you about.

Oh? Sorry for butting my nose in, then. Whatís on your mind?


I should have guessed.

Yeah.. well, this morning Chet put itching powder in his shoes. Johnnyís been hopping around all morning like a Mexican jumping bean. It almost got in the way of one of our rescues. Johnny could hardly stay still long enough to start an IV on this one guy. Anyway, Johnny has an idea for ďultimate revengeĒ and letís just say, it wonít be pretty. You got to talk him out of it.

Iíll see what I can do, Roy... but sometimes maybe the phantom deserves a little payback? donít you think?

Nobody, not even the phantom, deserves what Johnny has in mind. It could make him sterile!

Oh, no, that wouldnít be good... OK, Iíll talk to him and see if I can calm him down.

Great, Cap. Thanks!

Sure, Roy.

And um.. thanks for the advice when I walked in. It meant allot to me. I know I tend to take allot of the losses personally. Itís good to hear from people that itís not always anyoneís fault.

Glad I could be there for you, Roy.

12:50 pm

Busy, Cap?

Just a little paperwork, John. What can I do for you?

I was wondering if youíd mind if me and Roy ran a quick errand. I need to pick up some... well... um... I need to pick a couple things for something. Weíll keep the squad available and I promise it wonít take more than 30 minutes.

John, you arenít planning anything that can be hazardous to the phantomís health are you?

Who me? What... you mean? Like I um... How did you kn...? Um.. no no, cap... well... Can you repeat that question?

Look John, I know Chet can be a real pain in the butt... and I know itís really frustrating being the target every time... but just think before you do something you might regret. You donít  want to do anything that might permanently alter his life, you know? Even if you donít mean to. Accidents happen, you know.

Yeah, I guess youíre right. Maybe I was being a little harsh.

What were you going to do?

Um... maybe itís better if I donít tell you, Cap. It might change your opinion of me.

Well, Ok. If you donít want to tell me, you donít have to.


Yeah, John.

Iíll try to control myself and not kill Chet. But in return, can you do me a favor and just talk to him? Get him to lay off me? Even if for a little while. Itís getting so bad I have to find the courage  to come to work in the morning.

I know, John. Iíll tell him to knock it off.


Anytime, Pal.

1:10 pm

Howís the best Captain in the department doing today?

What do you want, Kelly?

What do I want? Canít a guy just  stop by and say hello? See how youíre doing?

Some guys... but not you. What do you want?

Well... Ok, now that you mention it. Itís Mikey.

Stoker? What can possibly be wrong with Mike?

Heís obsessed with that engine! I mean, Iím proud of her, myself - but heís overboard. I walked by it and sneezed just as I was passing the
bumper. Man, he was there in a heartbeat with the rag and polish! Cap, itís unhealthy! Maybe you should assign him latrine duty once in a while. If he scrubbed the toilets half as hard as Big Red, itíd sparkle for weeks.

Sounds to me you are trying to pass the buck on your chores, Kelly.

No way, Cap! You know I enjoy doing anything my captain asks of me!

Is that so?


Well, then in that case, stop messing around with Gage!


Donít play dumb, Phantom. That trick with the itching powder in his shoes almost caused him an accident with a patient. I donít mind the occasional water bomb here and there but anything that prevents him from doing his job can be a serious problem. Do I make myself perfectly
clear, Kelly?

Yes, Sir. Only water bombs from here on out.

Actually, you better lay off those for now too.

What for?

Itís for  your own safety - believe me!

Oh, alright....

Catch  yaí later , Cap.

Thanks, Chet.

1:35 pm

HENRY?! What are you doing  here? Did the couch burn down?

Iíd better go check on the kids. I can use some coffee anywayÖ..

Author notesÖ
*Jalapeno Pie is an actual recipe!!


*Click on the picture to send Lisa feedback


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