The Diversion

Part 2

Blair was peeved that her tennis instructor at the club had called to cancel her lesson this morning. She knew Lexie was with her fireman at the funeral services for the man that had been killed. She didn’t understand why they were going since Lexie had said that Johnny didn’t really know him but at least she didn’t have to go. And she had tried to talk Lexie out of going but it was useless. She kept telling Lexie that she needed to get out of this relationship but it didn’t seem to do any good. The more she suggested it, the harder Lexie dug her heels in. Blair just didn’t understand it. What was the attraction?

With nothing else to do, she clicked on the TV and soon found herself watching television coverage of the funeral. There was a sea of blue as the men in uniform were shown. The news crews were showing the scene from various angles and Blair found herself searching the crowd for her friend. She had no idea what John Gage looked like but she thought she might see Lexie. She was torn away from the set by a knock at the door.

She was not prepared for the person standing on the other side.

“Richard, what are you doing here,” she stammered. Richard brushed right past her into the room.

“What is going on with Alexandra, Blair? And don’t tell me that you have no idea what I’m talking about,” he said angrily.

“But I don’t,” she replied. And she felt that she could honestly say she didn’t know what was going on with her friend.

“She’s been avoiding me for weeks … I can’t remember the last time we went out,” he said. “I know you know what she’s up to and I need you to tell me.”

Blair wasn’t sure what to say. She’d never seen Richard this upset. “She’s got a lot going on, Richard. She’s working full time at the hospital and she’s been painting some but other than that …”

“It’s more than that. Even when I talk to her, she’s not really there. Is there someone else,” he asked. “Please, Blair, I have to know.”

“I don’t think …” she started but was cut off as Richard pushed past her towards the television. She whirled around and saw what had caught his attention. Lexie. Right there on the screen standing next to a man who could only be John Gage. She had to give the girl credit, he was a looker.

“What the hell…,” Richard began but stopped. He spun around to face Blair. “What is she doing there?”

“It’s probably because of the hospital, Richard,” she said quickly. “You know, good publicity. I’m sure she’s not the only one from the hospital to go to the service.” Blair was in agony. She wanted to somehow turn off the set before this could get any worse but she didn’t know how.

“You’re probably right,” Richard said shaking his head. It made sense. Especially with her being a Montgomery. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a real jerk. I don’t know where this jealousy is coming from,” he told her. “It’s just that I feel like she’s pulling away from me and there isn’t anything I can do to stop it.”

“I’m sure you’re wrong, Richard. Lexie loves you. It’s always been that way. You’re just reading too much into things. This thing at the hospital…it’s just demanding a lot of her time right now. You just need to be supportive and let her know that you’re there for her if she needs you.” She had placed her hand on his arm as she spoke and as she watched him shake his head in agreement. She still couldn’t believe that Lexie was willing to cast him aside in favor of a civil servant.

Behind Richard on the screen, the camera was still on the group of firemen and their wives with which Lexie was a part. Lexie stood next to a tall dark haired man and as the camera began to pan out, she saw him slip his arm around her friend and was grateful that Richard was no longer watching. But who knows who else had seen it. She’d have to get in touch with Lexie somehow and soon.

~*~*~

“Hey Roy, where’s your partner hiding out,” Dixie asked.

Roy pointed down the hall. “Men’s room,” he answered as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“I saw you guys on yesterday. They were showing coverage of the funeral,” she explained. She was leaning against the counter when Johnny came back down the hallway.

“Hey Dix,” Johnny greeted her.

“Hey yourself,” she replied.

Seeing Roy drinking his coffee, Johnny decided that he’d have one as well. He grabbed a cup and poured a half a cup.

“You haven’t by any chance seen Lexie have you,” he asked looking at Dixie.

“As a matter of fact, I have,” she replied and Johnny straightened up.

“You have?”

Dixie smiled. “Yep. She took a break and went to the cafeteria.”

Johnny looked quickly at Roy. The question was on his lips but he didn’t need to verbalize it before Roy answered. “if you hurry,” he said.

Johnny didn’t waste any time hurrying to the cafeteria. Lexie had stayed at his place last night but she was gone before he got up for work and he anxious to see her.

He saw her at a corner table sitting with someone else, a very attractive redhead. Neither of the women saw him approach the table and he stopped as the other woman’s voice reached his ears, “He saw the news. Now its time you quit playing games. This thing has gone on long enough. You know where you belong.”

“I’m not playing anymore,” Lexie insisted. “It’s different now.”

Johnny had no idea what they were talking about but it caused an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He cleared his throat to alert them to his presence. He saw Lexie’s face pale when she saw him, which didn’t help soothe his gut.

“J-Johnny,” she said as she stood up. She wasn’t sure how much of their conversation he had heard but she knew from the look on his face that he must have heard something. “What are you doing here?”

He ran his hand through his hair unsure now of what to do. He looked back at her friend and she picked up on his apprehension.

“Johnny, this is my friend, Blair. Blair, this is John Gage,” she said introducing them.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Blair said sweetly. Too sweetly for Johnny’s liking. She looked him up and down and smiled.

“Likewise,” he said. “Nice to meet you.” Lexie had mentioned her friend to him and he’d seen pictures of them in Lexie’s apartment but it seemed odd to him now that he’d never met her in all the time that he’d been dating Lexie.

He moved closer to Lexie and talked softly. “You left before I was up,” he said, “so, I, uh, just wanted to see you. Dixie said you had come in here so I thought I’d pop in and say hi. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

Blaire stood up and smiled. “Oh, you didn’t interrupt anything, John. I was just leaving. Lexie and I are done.”

Johnny let his eyes roam over this woman not out of interest but of curiosity. He couldn’t imagine Lexie being friends with her. He couldn’t help but feel that, despite how pleasant she was, she was looking down her nose at him for some reason. She was dressed in a white pantsuit and she had not a hair out of place. Her face was made up to perfection but it was the jewelry that seemed to draw his attention. She must be wearing a couple thousand dollars worth, he thought.

Blair picked up her purse before kissing Lexie on the cheek. “Call me tonight, Darling,” she said sweetly.

Johnny raised his eyebrow at Lexie.

“I’ll do that,” she said nicely. Believe me, she thought, you’ll hear from me.

They both watched as she made her way from the room. Lexie was fuming at the way Blair had acted towards Johnny. Her words had been nothing less than pleasant but she’d been an outright snob.

Lexie turned back to Johnny. “Blair has a flair for the dramatic,” she said which was entirely true. “Don’t pay her any mind.”

“What was all that about playing games,” he asked. He didn’t feel like beating around the bush any longer and something told him that he needed to find out. Something in his gut told him that it had something to do with him.

Lexie chewed on her lower lip for a few seconds unsure of what to say. Honesty, she thought, or at least as close to it as I can get. She took his hand in hers. “How can I say this without it sounding shallow? Blair thinks that I’m just playing around with you,” she said hoping he’d understand, “because that’s how she treats people.” She saw his face take on a pained look. “But I’m not, Johnny,” she assured him. “Please believe me.”

Johnny didn’t have a chance to respond before he heard Roy holler to him.

“Johnny! We got a call. Let’s go.”

“I gotta go,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say.

She nodded. “We need to talk, Johnny. We need to talk about where this is going and where we want it to go. Can I see you tomorrow night,” she asked as she hurriedly along with him.

Knowing that his was not the time or place, he nodded. He knew how he felt about her and he’d been sure that she felt the same but in a few short minutes, he’d begun to doubt himself. Even with her assurances to the contrary, he didn’t know what to think.

“All right, tomorrow night at seven,” he said as he pushed through the doors.

Lexie was left standing at the entrance to the ER feeling like she was losing the best thing that ever happened to her. She’d come clean with Johnny tomorrow and take her chances. The thought of being without him was just something that she didn’t want to think about. She’d make him understand. And she’d break things off with Richard. Her family wouldn’t like it but they’d have to accept it. She didn’t know where things would go with Johnny but she had to explore the possibility and she couldn’t keep pretending to be someone she wasn’t.

~*~*~

“You’re just going to have to cancel your plans, Alexandra.”

She stared at him in amazement. He could be so callous at times and it infuriated her to no end.

Seeing the look on her face, he softened his tone. “I need you there.”

“Richard, you can’t just waltz in here and expect me to drop everything. If you’d have given me some notice, you know that I wouldn’t hesitate. But as it is, I’ve made plans for tomorrow night. I can’t just cancel them now.”

“Lexie,” he said using the nickname that her friends called her, “it’s not everyday that I’m invited to a partner’s dinner. If I had been given more notice, I’d have given it to you, Sweetheart.”

Richard knew how headstrong his fiancée could be and if he didn’t soften his tone, she would dig in her heels and there would be no talking to her. He very rarely ever called her Lexie because it made her sound too common. He absolutely abhorred the name but he chose to use it when needed. This was one of those times. There was no way that he was going to show up at this dinner without her. And he wanted an explanation about why she went to the funeral of man she’d never met. He’d had several people tell him that they’d seen her on the news. And it had been implied that she’d been with another man. He assured everyone that it had just been hospital business but he wasn’t too sure. It just wasn’t the time right now to get into a huge fight.

“I don’t know what is going on with you, Alexandra but this could make or break my career,” he said as he took her hand. His eyes never left hers. “This could be it for me, for us.”

He didn’t say it, but she knew what he was implying. Richard Rothstein, III had his whole life planned and hers as well, and that was the trouble. She didn’t want anyone planning her life. She knew that everyone expected that she and Richard would marry one day. And it was Richard’s plan to ask her father for her hand as soon as he made partner. No one seemed to care that she didn’t love Richard. She did care deeply for him and they had known each other their whole lives. But shouldn’t there be more to it, she thought.

She was brought out of her reverie by Richard’s pleading voice. “Please, Lexie, I wouldn’t ask if it was extremely important. Whatever is going on with you, please put it aside for just one night. That’s all I’m asking. I think you owe me that.”

She was supposed to meet Johnny at Blair’s at seven o’clock but she was torn. She felt like she owed it to Richard to do this for him. She would let him down afterwards and he wouldn’t lose face in front of the partners of his firm. She’d call Johnny at work and change their date to Saturday.

Before she had a chance to change her mind, she agreed to go with him.

Why couldn’t she just stand up to Richard or even her father for that matter. Would there ever come a time when they would listen to what she wanted? Would they ever come a time when they would even ask her what she wanted? And would she wake up one day to find that she’d always done what she was supposed to do and lived to regret it? But she did feel like she owed it Richard to be there for him.

~*~*~

Roy backed the squad into the bay and cut the engine. He glanced sideways at his partner who had been moody all afternoon and well into the evening.

“You wanna talk about it,” he asked.

“Nothing to talk about really,” Johnny answered.

“Well something’s got you in a funk,” Roy replied.

Johnny yanked on the door handle and hopped out of the squad. Roy followed suit.

“I don’t know. I can’t quite put my finger on it,” Johnny said coming around to Roy’s side.

“I’m guessing it has something to do with Lexie though, right?”

Johnny leaned against the truck and nodded. It had been a busy afternoon for them and he’d tried to push his uneasiness out of his mind ever since leaving the hospital. Maybe I should get Roy’s thoughts, he decided. Maybe, just maybe, I’m reading too much into this, he thought knowing that he’d been known to do that on occasion.

He opened his mouth to speak when Charlie Williams poked his head into the bay.

“I thought I heard you guys pull in,” Charlie said. Charlie was filling in for Chet while he was out on medical leave from the building collapse. Mike Davis had been called in to replace Marco. Both men were going to be fine which was a relief to everyone but they would be out for a while recuperating.

“Gage, phone for you,” Charlie stated.

Captain Stanley walked out of his office at the same time. “When you’re done with your call,” he said to Johnny, “come see me. Roy,” he said turning to the senior paramedic as the other two men went into the dayroom, “you want some overtime tomorrow?”

“Sure could use the money, but Joanne and I have plans tomorrow night. Sorry,” Roy answered.

“No problem, Pal. Remind your partner to see after his phone call,” he said over his shoulder as he walked back into his office.

“Will do, Cap,” Roy acknowledged. When he entered the dayroom, Johnny was just hanging up the phone.

“Something wrong,” he asked upon seeing Johnny’s face. Roy opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk. “You want some?”

Johnny nodded and Roy pulled two glasses out of the cabinet and began to pour. When he was done, he handed one to his friend and took a sip of his own. “So, you were saying?”

Johnny looked around the room. “I wasn’t saying anything yet.”

Roy smiled. “But you were going to. What’s wrong?”

“Lexie canceled our date tomorrow night. Said something came up,” he told Roy.

“Things happen, Johnny. You’ve had to cancel dates before.”

“Yeah, but this is different,” he whispered and Roy’s curiosity perked up.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. It’s just different. I got some pretty weird vibes from her today,” he said thinking back. “We were supposed to get together to talk about where we want this relationship to go…”

“And where is it that you want it to go, Junior?”

“If you’d have asked me this morning, Roy, I would have said that I thought she might be the one,” Johnny answered truthfully.

“And …you don’t think that now?” Roy couldn’t imagine what had happened between them at the hospital to change things that quickly. And he was more surprised to ear his friend saying that he thought anyone was ‘the one’.

Johnny shook his head. “Right now, Roy, I’ll tell ya, I don’t know what to think.” And he really didn’t. “I better go see what Cap wanted,” he said turning away.

Roy downed the rest of his milk. “Overtime. He’s gonna ask if you want some overtime tomorrow,” he called out.

Johnny looked over his shoulder. “I may as well. I’ve got nothing else to do now.”

~*~*~

Lexie shivered in the cool air. “It’s chilly,” she commented as Richard helped her from his car. “You should have told me the party would be aboard Mr. Van Leemer’s yacht,” she scolded him. “I would have worn something else.”

“But you look so wonderful, Darling,” he complimented. “Besides we’re staying in dock and you won’t have to be out in the night air unless we want to be alone,” he added and looked at her suggestively.

Lexie turned toward the marina and rolled her eyes. The Del Rey Yacht Club was a beautiful sight. Each time she came here, it seemed that there was always a newer and more expensive yacht in dock. She had no doubt that Mr. Van Leemer’s would be one of them.

“Shall we go,” she heard Richard ask and she turned back to him. He offered her his arm and she fell into the routine without thought. But the electricity wasn’t there and she knew it wouldn’t be. It never had been and she knew that now. Oh how she wished that it were Johnny that was escorting her tonight.

A deckhand greeted them as they came aboard and thankfully, as Richard indicated, everyone was gathering in the salon and Lexie noted that the dining room was set for an intimate sit down dinner.

Although she had met them several times before, Richard made the appropriate introductions and Lexie was immediately at ease. The steward had done a wonderful job on every aspect of the yacht’s interior and he managed to magically appear whenever anyone needed anything. Hors D'oeuvres were served and Lexie managed to find time to talk with Mr. Van Leemer. She hadn’t seen him since he was released from the hospital and was glad to hear that he was doing so much better.

“Alexandra, I can’t thank you enough for taking care of my Douglas while he was in that dreadful hospital,” Elizabeth Van Leemer said as she joined their group.

“It was my pleasure,” she assured the older woman, “although it was not I but the doctors and nurses that actually took care of him. I just stopped by to visit and make sure that he had everything he needed,” she said seriously.

“What I needed,” Douglas declared, “were my cigars but they wouldn’t let me have them.

The men all laughed knowing how fond he was of cigars. He was almost never without one even tonight and Elizabeth wasted no time in scolding him again but Douglas just ignored it.

Elizabeth pulled Lexie off to the side. “I swear I don’t know what to do with that man,” she confided. “The doctors told him no cigars and no drinking but just look at him,” she indicated with her hand. “I give up. If a heart attack isn’t enough to get him to stop smoking those things, I don’t know what is.

Lexie didn’t comment. She wouldn’t have known what to say anyway and she knew that Mrs. Van Leemer was just letting off some steam. Douglas had always done what he wanted and she knew he wasn’t about to stop. She’d heard her father talk about him often and she knew that he didn’t get where he was by doing what other people wanted.

The steward announced that dinner was about to be served and they all took their seats. There were twelve people in all and the dining room was large enough to be able to accommodate them comfortably. The main course was an herb encrusted rack of lamb and glazed sea bass. It was complimented by a seafood salad as well as fresh vegetables and potatoes and Lexie was sure that it was Mrs. Van Leemer who had selected the menu.

Conversation at the table was light but Lexie knew that after dinner the men would head out onto the deck and discuss business. She also knew that Richard believed that he was going to be asked to become a partner and she was excited for him. He worked hard for the firm but it meant that they would be one step closer to walking down the aisle and she knew that she didn’t want that, at least not right now. She needed to talk to Richard after the evening was over and tell him how she felt. He would no doubt be upset but she could only hope that he would somehow understand.

Just as she suspected, after dinner the men headed topside . The women were never invited to these little pow wows not that Lexie wanted to go outside but she didn’t relish the idea of making polite conversation with these women either. The women returned to the salon as the table was cleared and Lexie’s thoughts turned to Johnny.

She should have been seeing right now if she hadn’t canceled their date. She knew that he had overheard at least part of her conversation with Blair and she’s seen the pained look on his face when she admitted that Blair thought she was just using him. Even after she had tried to assure him that she wasn’t, she wasn’t sure he believed her and she felt awful about it. But she would see him tomorrow and explain everything and hope that he…that he would what? Understand? She couldn’t quite understand it herself and she couldn’t very well tell him that she’d been out looking for someone who she could have a good time with without any strings. But that had been how this started and she knew that things were going to get very complicated very soon.

She felt like she had backed herself into a corner and she felt like she was suffocating. She had to get out and get some air so she excused herself from the other ladies and walked out onto the deck. Air was indeed nippy and her bare shoulders offered no protection against the chill. But it felt good to be in the fresh air and she slipped by the men who were deep in conversation and found a reclusive spot where she could think. She leaned against the railing looked out over the marina trying to imagine what Johnny was doing at this minute. She knew it was selfish to hope that he was thinking about her when she was out with another man. Especially one that was, for all intents and purposes, her fiancée.

She was brought out of her reverie by the raised voices of the men. From the pieces of sentences that she was able to distinguish, a political discussion had become heated and Lexie emerged from her secluded spot just in time to see Douglas Van Leemer collapse.

“Call the fire department,” she hollered to the nearest deck hand as she rushed by.

Several of the men were already crowded around him. “Step back,” she ordered them taking charge. She knelt beside him and took his hand.

“Can’t breathe,” he said looking at her in despair.

“Try no to worry,” she said soothingly. “Help is on the way.”

“Hurts,” he said through gritted teeth. “Chest.”

Elizabeth Van Leemer and the other had now emerged from the salon and Elizabeth knelt on Douglas’ other side. Lexie looked up at her. “Do you know what medications he’s taking,” she asked her. “They’ll need to know.”

“In the stateroom. The bottles are in the stateroom. I’ll go get them,” Elizabeth started to stand but someone put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll get them. You stay here.”

“See if there is any aspirin. If so, bring it,” Lexie instructed. Please hurry, Lexie thought to herself as she looked back at Douglas. His color wasn’t very good and he was certainly having a hard time breathing.

Minutes seemed hours as they waited for the Fire Department to arrive. Finally, she heard an authoritative familiar voice demanding everyone to back away. She looked up into the face of John Gage.

Johnny sat the equipment he’d been carrying down next to the patient and opened the bio phone. Harvey Fletcher, Johnny’s partner for the day, ushered Lexie out of the way and began to take the patient’s vital signs. As he called them off, Johnny jotted them down.

“He’s just recovered from a heart attack,” Mrs. Van Leemer sobbed. “Please don’t let him die. Please.”

Johnny assured her that they would take good care of him and got some necessary information from her about his health and doctor and medications that he was taking.

“Alexandra said to give him as aspirin,” Elizabeth told him when she had finished providing the information that he asked for. “Was that okay?”

His eyes flickered briefly Lexie as he spoke and she looked away. He had a thousand questions running through his mind but he pushed them all away in order to concentrate on his job. “It’s okay,” he assured the distraught woman.

Brackett ordered the paramedics to start an IV, asked them to update the vital signs and transport immediately. It took no time at all for the two men complete the required tasks and to ready Mr. Van Leemer for transport. Harvey climbed into the waiting ambulance with the patient and Johnny handed him the biophone and drug box before slamming the door shut and giving it two slaps to signal the driver that he could pull away.

Johnny slowly turned back towards the yacht. . He needed to go back and gather up the rest of their equipment so that he could get to the hospital. When he boarded the boat, the guests were mingling around discussing what had happened.

“And thank God for Alexandra,” he heard one woman say.

“Yes, she really did take charge. It was quite amazing,” affirmed another. “It appears that she’s learned a few things at that hospital.”

Johnny searched the crowd for her. It was obviously a well to do crowd and Johnny couldn’t help but wonder what Lexie was doing here.

“Is Mr. Van Leemer going to be okay,” Lexie asked coming up behind him.

Johnny shook his head. “His vitals are good right now. They’ll know more once they get him to the hospital,” he told her. His eyes searched her face. What he was looking for, he didn’t know. He glanced around the boat. “I guess this is why you canceled on me, huh?”

“I … ,” she began but was cut off as Richard joined them.

“Alexandra, Darling, you were amazing. The way you took charge like that,” he said kissing her cheek and slipping an arm around her waist. Lexie cringed and saw the shock of the intimate act on Johnny’s face.

Johnny stared at them dumbfounded and was about to say something when Richard spoke again. “She’s a wonderful girl,” he said to Johnny, “and soon she’ll be my wife.” He kissed her again before walking away.

Johnny’s face took on a pained expression. “His wife,” he hissed. “You’re engaged to that guy?”

Lexie reached out for Johnny’s arm but he pulled back out of her reach.

“Is it true,” he asked.

“Technically,” she said with a heavy heart, “we are not engaged.”

“Well, he,” Johnny said glancing at Richard’s back, “seems to think so.”

“Johnny, let me explain,” Lexie begged. “Just not here, not now.”

Johnny started gathering the remaining equipment. “Well, you’re in luck, Alexandra,” she said letting the name roll off his tongue sarcastically, “I have to get to the hospital.”

“I’ll explain everything tomorrow, Johnny, I promise,” she said softly.

“You know what, don’t bother. I have all the explanation I need,” he said looking around. “Your friend was right the other day. You and me, that was just some kind of game to you, wasn’t it?”

“No,” she said as a tear slid slowly down her cheek. “It’s not like that. Not now.”

Johnny stood and picked up the equipment. He started off the boat but turned around and whispered in her ear. “Not now, huh? I guess that means that it was at some point in time, wasn’t it Lex?”

“Johnny, please…”

“I’m nobody’s toy,” he stated harshly. “Goodbye, Alexandra,” he said as he turned and walked away.

~*~*~

Saturday morning when Johnny got off duty, he was exhausted. He’d tried to sleep but the image of that guy kissing Lexie and putting his arm around her so possessively kept running through his mind. He couldn’t believe he’d been such a fool. As he thought back to the beginning of their relationship, he realized that there were certain things that should have tipped him off. Things like not needing to hold down a real job and volunteering so much of her time, the elegant jewelry that she wore from time to time, her snobbish friend, and the fact that many of things they’d done on their dates, she’d never done before.

The words her friend had uttered in the hospital the other day kept taunting him, ‘Now its time you quit playing games’ she had said to Lexie and then, ‘This thing has gone on long enough. You know where you belong.’

And Johnny knew where she belonged too and it wasn’t with him. How many other lies had she fed him? She had definitely played him for a fool. He laid across his bed seeking to forget everything with a few hours of sleep. It took awhile but exhaustion finally won out and it was the ringing of the phone a few hours later that woke him.

He reached for it without thinking.

“Hello,” he mumbled but it sounded more like ‘lo’.

“Johnny,” she said, “it’s me, Lexie”

He stiffened at the sound of her voice.

“I was hoping that we could get together to talk,” she said hopefully.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about,” he said awkwardly.

“Just let me explain, Johnny, please,” she begged as the tears threatened to spill out.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he told her, which was true.

“Later then, please. I love you, Johnny.”

“I don’t think you know what love is, Lex,” he said sadly. “I gotta go. I gotta get some sleep,” he told her. He slowly put the receiver back down and wiped a hand across his face.

He took the phone off the hook and lay there for another hour but sleep evaded him this time. He didn’t want to stay in the house by himself and he thought about going over to Roy’s but he didn’t want to have to answer a lot of questions right now and truth be told he didn’t have any of the answers.

He’d been dating someone for over two months and he didn’t have a clue who she was. The only thing he knew for sure was her name. Everything else had been a lie and he was having a hard time dealing with that.

He picked up the phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Chet,” he said when the line was picked up. “It’s Johnny. You doin’ anything this afternoon?”

“How about we grab a couple of beers and shoot some pool,” he suggested when Chet had indicated that he didn’t have anything pressing going on. Chet could tell that something was up with his friend and for all their bickering, they were friends and Chet could tell that Johnny needed a friend right now.

They made plans to meet and Johnny knew that he wouldn’t be very good company but if Chet had thought so, he hadn’t said anything. And Johnny knew he wouldn’t which was why he’d called him in the first place. You could always count on Chet Kelly to be there when you needed him. And today, John Gage, had needed a friend that wasn’t going to ask him any questions but would listen if he needed to talk. And Johnny knew that Roy would have done the same but it was harder for him to get away on a Saturday afternoon and the last place Johnny had wanted to be was at Roy’s place where he’d be subjected to their domestic bliss. The kind of bliss that he had begun to envision for him and Lexie.

That night when Johnny got home, his phone was ringing and he debated whether or not to answer it. Finally deciding to let it ring, he made himself a sandwich and made some coffee. He’d had more beers than he should have but not enough to kill the ache in his heart. And he was due back on the job in the morning.

~*~*~

Johnny ran into Roy coming out of the locker room.

“Hey Johnny,” Roy said in greeting. “Have a good day off?”

Johnny snorted and pushed past him into the locker room. Roy stood there for a second before he turned and followed his partner.

Johnny pulled his shirt off and tossed it into the locker and began unbuckling his belt. His pants soon followed and were roughly shoved into the locker.

“You okay,” Roy asked cautiously.

“I’m just peachy,” Johnny announced.

“I can tell,” Roy joked. “You wanna talk about it,” he asked.

Johnny pulled on his blue uniform pants and turned to Roy. “I, … I….If I knew where to begin, I’d tell ya,” he said in frustration.

“Lexie,” Roy asked and Johnny glanced at him confirming that it had something to do with her.

“Her name’s Alexandra,” he told Roy playing the name out as he had done with her two days prior.

Roy blinked in surprise. In that one statement, Roy heard not only anger but also hurt and disappointment.

“What happened, Johnny?”

“You wanna know what happened. I’ll tell ya what happened,” he said. “Alexandra Montgomery is engaged.”

Roy’s face registered his shock.

“And I’ll tell ya what else,” Johnny said as he pinned his name tag on, “it isn’t to me.” He slammed his locker door and headed out into the engine bay.

“What? When?” Roy’s mind was boggled. Only Johnny seemed to find himself in these situations.

Johnny spun around and almost knocked Roy over. “Take it easy. Johnny,” Roy told him. “Just tell me what happened.”

Johnny walked into the day room and grabbed a cup out of the cabinet. He held it up for Roy to see and indicated with his hand to see if Roy wanted a cup as well. Roy nodded in the affirmative so Johnny grabbed another cup and poured coffee into each one. He handed one to Roy as he took a seat at the table. He took a sip and savored the taste. Finally, he put the cup down on the table and ran his hand through his hair.

“I worked overtime at 110’s Friday, right,” he started and Roy nodded his head indicating that he remembered. “So, Friday night we get this call for an MI on board one of the boats at the marina. Guess who was on the boat, with her fiancée?”

“Lexie,” Roy said softly.

“Yes, Lexie. I had to stand there and watch some other guy kiss her and put his arms around her and here I am ready to have words with the guy and he’s here damn fiancée!”

“Have you talked to her?”

“Talked to her. Why?”

“To hear her side of it,” Roy reasoned.

“There is no other side to ‘it’, Pally. The woman played me for a fool. Turns out she’s some rich chick that wanted to have a little fun before tying the knot,” he said bitterly. “That’s what I heard her friend saying on Thursday in the cafeteria. Only I didn’t know what she was talking about at the time. But now I do. Oh, I understand perfectly,” he said placing his hand on his chest.

Roy had to admit that it did sound pretty bad but he couldn’t help but think that Johnny should at least sit down and allow Lexie to explain her side of the story. After all, Johnny did have a tendency to overreact at times.

The day was pretty much average except for the fact that Lexie called more than a few times but soon enough everyone knew to say that Johnny was not available.

“I don’t think she’s going to give up,” Roy told him coming back from their last run.

Johnny just snorted.

“You are going to have to talk to her eventually,” he added when no comment was forthcoming.

Johnny nodded. “Maybe, but it’s gonna be on my terms, not hers,” he said emphatically.

“I don’t know,” Roy said, “she seems a little persistent.”

Johnny shrugged his shoulders and finished filling in the details of the run on their log sheet. “Well, this is gonna be one of those times when she doesn’t get what she wants.”

He threw the logbook down on the seat next to him. He had never been so angry in his life. He was always the carefree one. He let everything run right off him. He didn’t hold grudges when people wronged him. Lord knows, Chet was proof of that but try as he might he couldn’t seem to get past his anger on this one. He’d thought he’d found ‘the one’ and in the course of one run, his little ideal world had been shattered. He had to admit that he’d fallen hard for her and it wasn’t going to be easy to pick up the pieces this time.

When they got back to the station, Captain Stanley called him into his office. “John, you have to do something. This woman won’t stop calling here.” He didn’t like to tell the men what to do in their personal lives but this time it was affecting everyone in the station. They were at the point where they all cringed each time the phone rang and they were arguing over who had to answer it.

Later that night, when the phone rang again, Cap looked at Johnny. He didn’t have to say a word, he just looked at him. Reluctantly Johnny got up.

“I got it,” he said to no one in particular. Everyone was watching a movie and weren’t really paying attention anyway.

“LA County Fire Department. Paramedic John Gage speaking,” he said into the received.

“I’m sorry to keep calling you, Johnny, but I need to see you,” she said quickly and apologetically.

“All right,” he said with acceptance knowing that this was the only way that she was going to leave them alone.

“All right,” she said in disbelief.

“I’ll be at that little diner around the corner from your place tomorrow night at six. You can meet me there,” he said. “Goodbye Lex.”

“Bye John,” she said into the dead connection. She knew she’d hurt him terribly and once again she found herself praying that he could find it in his heart to forgive her. At least he’d finally agreed to let her explain. Although, what could she say that she hadn’t already. The only things left to tell where the remainder of the lies that he didn’t know about. She’d already told him that she loved him and that hadn’t softened him anyway. She knew that he’d pieced together Blair’s comments with her engagement to Richard, which she’d already broken off. Would that be enough to make him see that she truly did love him and that she wanted to be with him and only him. She’d find out tomorrow night and she was deathly afraid. He was right about one thing, she’d toyed with him. She had played with fire and neither of them would come away unscathed.

~*~*~

Johnny arrived at the diner at six just as he had said he would. Lexie was already there waiting for him. She was sitting at a booth in the corner and Johnny’s heart constricted when he saw her. She gave him a little wave and he made his way over to her.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he repeated as he sat down.

The waitress was at their table almost immediately asking if they’d like anything to drink and they both asked for coffee. After she had walked away from the table, Lexie decided it was now or never.

“Thank you for seeing me, John.” She gave him a little smile and he could tell she was nervous.

“You didn’t give my much choice,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I know,” she acknowledged, “but I just couldn’t let things end like that between us.”

“And how do you want things to end,” he asked sarcastically.

“I don’t want them to end at all, Johnny,” she said as she looked at him.

The waitress interrupted them as she brought two cups and the coffee pot over. Lexie couldn’t help but notice the waitress giving Johnny the once over and she felt jealous. Not because Johnny had noticed her because he hadn’t but because she felt that she’d lost him already.

“Whatta ya have,” the waitress asked looking at Johnny.

“Just the coffee for me. Thanks,” he told her. The waitress turned to Lexie but didn’t ask. “Same here,” Lexie told the woman and the waitress rolled her eyes as she walked away mumbling about a tip.

Johnny remained silent after the waitress left. Lexie’s words were still ringing in his head ‘I don’t want it to end’ and he didn’t trust himself to speak at the moment.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” she started.

He shrugged and she knew he wasn’t going to give an inch. She considered herself lucky to have gotten him here at all.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I truly didn’t,” she told him. “I know that I can’t make excuses for deceiving you as I did but … Let me start with Richard.”

He nodded. He really didn’t want to have to sit here and listen to this. She said she didn’t want to make excuses but wasn’t that what she was doing.

“I’ve known him all my life. We played together as children,” she began. “Our parents always joked that one day we would get married. As we grew up, neither of us ever challenged that notion. We certainly never gave our parents any doubt that it would happen. We laughed about it in the beginning and then somewhere along the line we just accepted it as the natural order of things. And we were very fond of each other.”

“And now,” he asked her.

“I’m still very fond of Richard,” she admitted. “But I don’t love him, not in the way that I should if I were going to marry him. I never realized that until I met you.”

She lifted her eyes to meet his.

“I told him about you Friday night. About what you mean to me.” She gave a little ironic smile. “He was actually relieved, if you can believe it. All this time, both of us doing what we thought everyone else wanted us to do and yet it wasn’t what either of us wanted.” She paused for a brief moment. “And I told my parents that I wasn’t going to marry Richard.”

“You’ve been busy this weekend,” he said quietly. “How’d they take it?”

“Better than I would have ever imagined. I’ve always thought that my parents never listened to me, never understood me, you know.”

“I think everyone feels that way about their parents,” Johnny said.

“But I never realized that I never let them hear me. I always did what I was told. Always. I never challenged them and because of that, they didn’t think twice about telling me what I should do or what they thought I should do.”

“Are they disappointed?”

“Perhaps,” she admitted, “but they want me to be happy. I never really thought they cared whether I was happy or not as long as I did what they wanted but …”

“Anyway,” she said with a wave of her hand, “I started volunteering at the hospital not because I wanted to but because I had to,” she admitted. “My father believed that I was not truly in tune with what they refer to as the “real world” and that in order to gain my inheritance on my twenty-fifth birthday, I needed to complete 90 days of volunteer service at the hospital.”

Johnny was caught off guard. An inheritance? He knew at this point that her family had to be fairly well to do but he hadn’t expected her to be talking about inheritances.

“I can tell you’re shocked,” she told him.

“I wouldn’t say shocked but … well, I’m not sure what I’d say. Surprised, I guess.”

She gave him a small smile. “Well, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that he would do that to me. I viewed it as some sort of punishment. He was trying to get me to see beyond the world I lived in but I didn’t view it that way. I thought if I had to be stuck at some hospital all day I was going to have fun while I was there.”

“And you picked me,” he said sadly.

She nodded. “But I didn’t set out to hurt you, Johnny. I had heard that you weren’t interested in commitments and I certainly wasn’t so I figured you were safe. That we’d both have a good time and when my 90 day prison term was up, we could part company with some good memories.”

He didn’t say anything and she didn’t know what she had expected him to say.

“I may have started out playing some stupid game, Johnny, but somewhere along the line things changed, I changed. You changed me. You made me see the world differently. You showed me what love is supposed to feel like. You made me realize that I couldn’t spend the rest of my life married to a man that I didn’t love. You showed me that it’s not the size of someone’s bank book that makes them a good person, it’s what’s in their heart,” she concluded.

“I think you knew that all along, Lex,” he said softly.

“No, I’m not sure if I ever really did,” she said honestly. “I had been planning to come clean with you about everything on Friday but then Richard had that dinner and I felt like I owed it to him to go.”

She could still picture the hurt on Johnny’s face that night on the yacht.

“I figured that I could do this one last thing for him and then try to work things out with you the next day.”

“I guess it some kind of twisted irony that I would be on the squad that night,” he remarked.

She nodded. “I suppose I deserved to have it blow up in my face. My biggest regret is that you got hurt in the process.”

She looked up at him but his face gave no clue as to what he was thinking. Taking a chance, she reached across the table and took his hand.

“Can you ever forgive me, John,” she asked hopefully. “I think there could be something really good between us given the chance.”

Johnny pulled his hand back and shifted in the booth. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t,” he admitted.

“I know we can’t go back and erase what’s been done,” Lexie admitted, “as much as I’d like to. But, I’d like to think that we can move forward.”

Johnny shook his head doubtfully. “A relationship, for me, has to be based on mutual trust and we don’t have that.” He looked directly at her and could see the tears welled up in her eyes. He felt his heart tugging at him.

“I could sit here and say I forgive you and I probably already have but trust is another matter. Trust is the most important thing to me, in any relationship. At work, I have to be able to trust people, every second that we’re on a rescue. All the guys, even the ones I don’t know, I have to trust them. I need to have that, Lex. I’m sorry.”

The tears were falling freely now and she wiped at them with her hands. Johnny picked up a napkin and handed it her. “I love you, Johnny. Isn’t that enough?”

“No,” he answered honestly. “Not right now.”

She looked so sad that part of him wanted to just gather her close and hold her tight but he knew he couldn’t.

“But I’m not saying that given some time, I won’t feel differently,” he added. “Are you staying on at the hospital?”

She nodded. “Not full time but yes, I like it there and I know that I don’t save lives or anything but if I can help brighten someone’s day, then I’d like to do that.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Maybe we can start over as friends,” he suggested, “and see where it goes from there.” He smiled and she was grateful that he’d given her that much. She knew she didn’t deserve it.

Johnny looked at his watch. “I’ve got to go,” he said with some regret as he stood. “You need a lift back to your apartment?”

Johnny threw some money on the table for the coffee and making sure to leave a good tip regardless of the fact that they hadn’t eaten.

Lexie cringed. “It’s not my apartment, it’s Blair’s,” she confessed.

“Oh,” he responded no longer surprised but he remembered all the times they had stayed there overnight and shook his head. “Do you need a lift anywhere?”

She shook her head and told him that she had her car outside and he walked with her to it. After she had opened the door, he gathered her in a hug and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “You take care, Lex.”

She held on for as long as she could. “You, too, Johnny.”

He pulled back and grinned. “Remember what you said about wanting to have a good time and make some good memories,” he said and she nodded.

“Well, we definitely did that and I’ll always treasure them, no matter what happens between us.”

“So will I,” she admitted and she would. She still held out the hope that in time they’d be able to work things out but she knew how deeply she’d hurt him and if he wanted time, she would give it to him. And she needed the time as well because she was only beginning to find out who she truly was.

~*~*~

Two months later, Dixie smiled as she spotted Johnny going down the hallway. “You’re partner is looking rather chipper today,” she commented.

“Yeah, he’s back to his old self,” Roy acknowledged.

“Glad to hear it,” Dixie said as she reached for the ringing phone.

Striding up to the desk, Johnny asked, “what’s Dixie glad to hear?”

“That it’s not going to rain tomorrow,” Roy said quickly. “You ready to go now, Junior?”

“Yeah, I am,” Johnny said waving to Dixie who was still on the phone.

“Did you see her,” Roy asked curiously.

“Yes, I did as a matter of fact.”

“Well?”

“Well what,” Johnny asked climbing into the squad.

Roy shook his head and walked around to the other side. He climbed into the driver’s seat.

“How’s she doing,” he asked.

“Oh, she’s gonna be okay, Roy. Her mother was there, too. You really should have come up. She’d have liked to meet you. Couldn’t thank me enough for taking care of her little girl.”

Roy started the engine. “Did you tell her that she’d better look both ways before running out into the street next time?”

“Yeah,” Johnny said thinking of what could have become of the little girl.

“Did you, um, run into anyone else on your travels?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? Either you did or you didn’t.”

Johnny smiled. “Okay. I did. Happy now?”

“That’s it. That’s all you’re gonna tell me?” Roy was astonished. He usually couldn’t get his partner to shut up about these kind of things.

Johnny picked up the mic and made them available.

“I, uh, we’re gonna catch a movie this weekend, all right.” Johnny cocked his head to look at Roy. “I guess you think I’m nuts, huh?”

Roy smiled. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, well…,” he let the thought drop off.

“You want to know what I think,” he asked unsure.

“Yeah, Roy, I do,”

“You’ve been apart as long as you were together. I think you made the right decision two months ago. You both needed time to figure things out. I think that you’ve obviously done that. That’s what I think,” Roy told him.

“It’s kinda weird, though, don’t you think?”

“What would be weird would be if you’d have met some normal girl, fallen in love, gotten married and had kids,” Roy joked.

Johnny smiled. “You mean like you did, right, Roy?”

“Right! That would have been weird,” Roy joked.

Johnny laughed knowing just how true that was. He and Lexie had both agreed to take it slow and not rush anything. In the last two months, she had gained some independence by getting her own place and concentrating on her art. Even she was taking it more seriously and had contacted a small gallery about the possibility of having a show there. She’d asked her father to set up a trust with only a small allowance that she could live off of until she got her feet under her. She wanted to be able to rely on herself for a change and if that meant making changes in her lifestyle, she was prepared to do it. The money would always be there but it was no longer important to her.

Johnny admired her courage and wondered if he would have been able to do the same if he had been in her shoes. She was leaving her old life behind and was becoming her own person but wasn’t that what he’d done at the age of eighteen when he’d come to LA. She was just doing it a little later than most people.

“Hey Roy, you think she’d want to see Smokey and the Bandit? I heard it’s kinda romantic.”

Stories by Terribv Guest Dispatchers