You Get By With A Little Help From Your Friends By Terribv

As I walked out of the hospital doors, I had to shield my eyes from the bright sunlight. It seemed an odd contrast to my state of mind and the irony was not lost on me. I leaned down and lifted my young son out of his wheelchair. The chemotherapy treatments had left him too exhausted to walk and I knew that later that night he’d be sick. I feel useless in the face of his disease. My job is to help people, to save lives and yet I can only sit by and watch my own son suffer. It seems so unfair.

I am also torn up with guilt because my wife has to face this alone tonight. But I have to work and that means being away from my family during my 24-hour shift. I know what Joanne will go through tonight and I wish that I could be there for her and for Chris. The pain and vomiting are the worst and it’s hard to believe that something that makes them feel so bad is what is working to help make him better. He’s wearing his beloved Dodgers hat because the chemo has robbed him of his hair and I chastise myself for every time that I bugged him about getting it cut.

I carry him to the car and my partner, Johnny, runs ahead to open the door. I get Chris settled in and step away. Johnny moves in to take my place and as I move around to the other side of the car, I can hear him telling Chris some jokes and my spirit is momentarily lifted when I hear my son’s laughter. It is a not a common sound anymore. I tell Joanne to call me if she has any problems and she assures me that she’ll be fine. But I know that it’s tearing her up inside as it does me. I gather her tightly to me in an effort to pass along as much strength as I can. Again I apologize to her for not being there but she puts a finger to my lips to squelch any further comments.

As they drive away, I can’t help but stand there and watch until the car is out of sight. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I take comfort from it. My partner doesn’t say a word but I know that he’s there and that’s what will get me through this shift. Sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends.

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