"This is great!" L.A. County Fire Department Paramedic Roy DeSoto declared over all the whooping and yet another raucous round of applause. "Christopher would love this! If the county sponsors this event again next year—and we don’t end up working—remind me to take him."

His paramedic partner and best friend John Gage just continued to sit there—quietly—beside him. His silent associate seemed to be somewhat disappointed and maybe even a tad sad.

"Hey, I’m not sore anymore," Roy reassured him. Upon discovering that his partner had volunteered them for this ‘First Annual’ Big Blopper Competition duty—without discussing it with him first—DeSoto had been upset…steamed, even. "I mean, let’s face it," he quickly continued, seeing that his chum remained glum. "It’s not every day that we get to lounge around in plastic furniture—all afternoon—sipping soft drinks…and watching nearly-naked, middle-aged men—with spare tires around their waists and too much spare time on their hands—belly flop into a pool of chlorinated water." He flashed his somber amigo a broad grin before taking a long, leisurely drag from his ice-cold bottle of Coke.

"That’s just it!" Gage glumly bemoaned. "Me-en! We’re sittin’ here, starin’ at a bunch a’ ugly gu-uys… with beer guts! When we should be watchin’ a bunch a’ gorgeous girls…in skimpy bikinis! Swivers. Man! That Luger is such a liar!"

DeSoto suppressed a smile. It was beginning to sound like he wasn’t the only one who’d been roped into this Big Blopper Competition duty. He shot his gullible partner a sympathetic glance and then arched an eyebrow. "I gather that bloppers is short for belly floppers. But, what, pray tell, does swivers stand for?"

"Swan Divers. There’s s’posed ta be a bunch a’ beautiful chicks here…swan diving clean out a’ their skimpy swimsuits!"

Roy gave his girl-crazy comrade another sympathetic glance and suppressed another smile. "Speaking of chlorine…We better back up," he suddenly advised as a rather rotund contestant carefully made his way to the end of the diving board. "The bigger the belly, the bigger the ‘blop’."

The two men immediately moved their equipment and themselves a few feet further away from the pool. 

Thud...Thud...Thu-ud...Ker-spla-ash!

The End