Bringin' On The Heartbreak   By Wanda Hargrove

Johnny and Shiloh had been living together now for six months, and everything was smooth sailing.  Shiloh had passed her training with flying colors, and her
permanent assignment was now at Station 45. Her new partner was a bit of a flake, but that just livened up her shifts.

When both Squad 51 and Squad 45 were at Rampart, Johnny and Shiloh would share a stolen kiss.  At least they had their days off to be together, and while they
were together, they were hardly seen by anyone.

Shiloh had never been happier, and Johnny... everyone at 51's knew something was up with him. He seemed calmer, not giving in to every crazy whim that might
come along. And it seemed he was more responsible. Roy figured it was probably a girl, but Johnny would never tell anyone who the girl was.

~*~*~

The tones sounded sending the men of 51's to their vehicles. "Station 51, Station 45, Truck 85, Foam 47, Deluge 187... Fire at the refinery... 210 Industrial
Drive... Time Out 13:40.

"Station 51, KMG-365," Stanley replied into the mike.

The two rescue vehicles roared through the streets heading for their destination, they pulled up on the outskirts of the refinery. Captain Stanley jumped off the engine, "Lopez, Kelly... pull a couple of two inch and a half's and handle this side."

As Chet and Marco ran to follow Stanley's orders an oil storage tank exploded, knocking all the men off their feet. John and Roy were getting back on their feet when Squad 45 pulled up.  Shiloh and her partner Miguel Martinez ran over to check if there were any injuries.

Shiloh ran over to Johnny, "Are you alright?" she asked concern flashed in her eyes.

Johnny flashed a very brief smile, "I'm fine," he answered in his businesslike tone.

Roy and Miguel joined Shiloh and John and off the foursome went to check out the firefighters from 51's. Only bumps and bruises were the diagnosis.

The supervisor came running over to Captain Stanley, "Hey, I've got two guys trapped in there," he pointed over towards the fire. Captain Stanley looked over at
his paramedics and the two of 45's. "Gage, Davis, DeSoto, and Martinez, get a couple of inch and a halves and see if you can find the missing men." Four,
"Right, Cap," answered him as the paramedics got their gear together to find the missing men.

Gage was on the front end of the hose with Davis behind him as they entered the flaming inferno, with DeSoto and Martinez off to their right. Gage had just spotted the first man; he was lying under a piece of pipe with the fire almost on top of him. Gage handed the hose off to Davis as she, and DeSoto provided a blanket of water for both Gage and Martinez.

Johnny and Miguel lifted the pipe off the man and Gage took the hose over from Davis as she retrieved the victim. She threw him over her shoulders in a fireman's carry and took off following the trail of hose. She was a third of the way to the squad when another explosion sent her and the victim impacting hard with the ground. She tried to rise, but everything went dark as she lost consciousness.

Gage, DeSoto and Martinez found the second man, but he had already expired by the time they reached him. Martinez grabbed the body, and ran back with Gage and DeSoto following. The smoke was growing thicker and Martinez tripped over something falling over the body of the first victim. Gage and DeSoto who were following hard on his heels saw him trip. DeSoto grabbed the victim, and Gage began looking for Davis.

He was frantic in his search. "Shiloh... Shiloh..." he called. He heard a moan off to his right, and found Davis. He pulled her up in his strong arms and ran after the other two fleeing men with their victims.

Martinez and DeSoto were already working on the first victim applying a burn pack to the man's burns. Johnny laid Shiloh down and then checked her quickly for
broken bones. The fact that she hadn't regained consciousness was scaring the shit out of him. DeSoto rode in the ambulance with the first victim, while Martinez was contacting Rampart and relaying the vitals.

Captain Stanley walked behind Johnny; his intention was to find out how she was doing when he overheard Johnny speaking to Davis. "Shiloh... Shiloh, honey,
please wake up. Your scaring the hell outta me, please baby wake up. I... I love you."

Stanley couldn't believe what he'd just heard. First he was furious, then realized how discreet they had been. No body had even known that they were seeing each other. Stanley squatted down next to Johnny. "How's she doing, Gage?"

"I can't say for sure other than a possible concussion." Johnny felt his Captain's hand on his shoulder as Hank gave it a squeeze. He heard his captain respond in a much softer voice, "Don't worry, pal, she'll be okay."

Johnny's head snapped up looking his leader in the face. Seeing the fact that he knew, ‘but how did he know?’ Johnny thought.

Johnny and Miguel bundled her up and loaded her into the ambulance with her partner riding in the ambulance.   Johnny followed them in Squad 45.

~*~*~

Johnny ran into the hospital following Martinez and the gurney carrying Shiloh. He had to know if she was going to be all right. He followed them into the treatment room, helping them to transfer her over to the examination table.

Dixie grabbed John's arm and led him out of the treatment room, "Let me buy you a cup of coffee." They headed down the hall and entered the Doctor's Lounge.
Dixie directed him to sit down in a chair and she poured them both a cup of coffee. Setting a cup down in front of John, she sat across from him sipping at her coffee.

Dixie decided to ask him the question she was sure she knew the answer to. "So, Johnny, how long have you been seeing Shiloh?"

Johnny almost choked on his coffee; he gave her a weak smile. "I guess we didn't fool you, Dix," giving her a weak laugh.

"Not in the least, John," she replied while smiling at his face. "Tell you what, you'll be the first person I tell about her condition."

Dixie rose to leave, when Johnny reached out and grabbed her by the hand causing her to turn around and give him a quizzical look. "Thanks, Dix," Johnny smiled
gratefully.

"No problem, John," Dixie smiled as he released her hand.

~*~*~

Nurse Nancy Rice entered the Doctor's Lounge and found John Gage sitting at a table all by himself, with a barely touched cup of coffee in front of him. Her mind wandered back to the last time they went out.  'I really made a major mistake letting him go,' she thought to herself.

Going over to the coffee pot she poured herself a cup of coffee, "Hi, Johnny," she smiled as she sat down in a chair. He smiled slightly at her, almost politely. 'He seems preoccupied, or worried. His partner, Roy, must have gotten hurt,' she thought. "I've been thinking and I'd really like to get back together again. Do you think
we could go out to dinner, or maybe bowling?"

Johnny sighed; this wasn't going to be easy. He'd just realized how much he really loved Shiloh, and needed her. Shiloh calmed his restless soul, and he was helping her through her past history of physical abuse. They were both perfect for each other.

Johnny took a deep breath, carefully picking out his words.  "Nancy, I like you. I really do, as a friend, but I'm seeing someone now. I hope you understand."

Nancy's eyes grew dark, her expression clouded with anger. "Oh, I understand perfectly," she screamed as she slapped him across the face. "I should have listened to all the other's who told me not to get involved with 'Love 'em and leave 'em Gage.' Well if something happens and you two break up don't come crawling back to me!"  Rising angrily, she stormed out of the Doctors’ Lounge, leaving a couple of stunned nurses who had been enjoying their break before the shouting began.

~*~*~

Roy found his partner and wondered why he looked so pensive. "Hey, Johnny, I've been looking all over this hospital for you."

"I've been here for the past hour waiting for word on Shiloh."

Roy could tell John was taking this hard, and he thought it was because she had been a trainee of theirs. That's when Dixie came into the room. "John, Shiloh's awake and she's asking for you."

John got up so fast his chair fell over. Roy looked up at Dixie, "What was that all about?"

"Just his concern for a friend," Dixie answered cryptically as she left the lounge.

Johnny entered the treatment room to find Shiloh dozing. He took one of her hands in his, and brushed some of her hair off of her forehead.

She opened her eyes, and looked up at him. "Hi," she smiled.

"I was so worried about you," he replied with concern plainly showing on his face.

"Well, I've got this awful headache, but other than that Doc Brackett says I'm fine."

Doctor Brackett chose that moment to enter the treatment room as Johnny brushed a kiss across her lips. Brackett cleared his throat, and Johnny looked up embarrassed to have been caught in such a tender moment.

"Shiloh, your tests have come back, all you have is a mild concussion.  But. I don't know how to put this delicately, your two months pregnant."

"Pregnant? I can't be pregnant... how am I gonna do my job?"

Johnny looked just as stunned.  Brackett thought he was going to have to call for a gurney for John.

Roy entered the room looking for his wayward partner so they could be available again.  He had no idea of what was coming up until Brackett continued with his
findings on Shiloh's health.  "Well, you are definitely pregnant, the second question is all up to the fire department."

Shiloh put her hands up to her face, "Johnny... I'm not ready to be a mother yet..."

Johnny smiled down at her, "I don't know what kind of father I'll be."

Roy's mouth fell open, "Johnny... you and Shiloh?"

~*~*~

The squad backed into the apparatus bay, Marco was a little surprised to see John driving.  Roy sat stunned, still not comprehending the fact that his partner was going to be a father. 

Cap stuck his head out of the office. "John, Roy, can I see the both of you in here for a moment?" Both paramedics went into the office.

"What's up, Cap?" asked John. Roy took a chair and sat silently, still shocked at the news.  No matter how many times Johnny had explained what had happened
between him and Shiloh, Roy was still confused. 

Captain Stanley took in his senior paramedic's appearance.  "What's the matter with him?"

"Uh... He just found out about Shiloh and myself at Rampart."

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. As you know Dr. Brackett had to inform the chief about the situation, and who in turn had to inform his bosses. The call just came in from headquarters." Stanley was frustrated; nothing he could have said would change the minds down at headquarters. "John, they said either you marry Shiloh and she keeps her job, or they will fire her because they believe an unwed mother would give a black eye to the department's image.  But once the baby is 6 weeks old she'll have to recertify to be a paramedic again."

Anger crossed John's face; he began pacing the room to keep from going ballistic. 

Roy was just angry. "Cap, they can't do that to her. She's one hell of a paramedic, she'd give her own life to save anyone!"

Stanley held out his hands in a placating gesture. "Roy, I know.  The guys know something's up. What with all my shouting over the phone. You know she's part of
our family because she trained here.  There was nothing I could say." His next words were directed towards Johnny. "John, they need an answer by 5:00 today."

Johnny flew out of Stanley's office, his thoughts were whirling. 'Look at yourself, Gage, what a mess you've gotten yourself into. Why didn't you think about the
consequences?  But no instead you act and now here's the reaction of your actions."  Stepping into the dorm he sat down on his bunk thinking the options over
again.  Roy entered the dorm sitting down next to his partner.

"What am I gonna do, Roy?"

"Make an honest woman out of her," was Roy's simple answer.

Johnny called Shiloh at Rampart explaining the situation to her with headquarters.  She fussed at first, but she loved being a paramedic.  She was also in love with Johnny and didn't want to have to start her life over again in another job.  "I'll marry you, John."

After hanging up the phone he headed off to Stanley's off and let his commanding officer know their decision. Cap clapped John on the shoulder, "That's great news, John."

"Uh... Cap, can I tell the other guys?"

"Sure, and I'll be on hand for moral support," Stanley grinned. 

Entering the dayroom, Stanley cleared his throat. "Guys, can I your attention?  John has an announcement he wants to make."

Chet groaned.  Stanley shot Chet a stare that said if he didn't stop he'd be cleaning the latrine for a long time.

"Uh... Guys..." John didn't know where to begin; he ran a hand over his face in frustration.  Settling on just plowing on through.  "Guys, you know I've been seeing someone now for about the past 6 months." Three heads nodded as Johnny continued.  "Well... the lady in question is Shiloh..." he didn't know how to say the rest of what he had to say.

Chet, Marco and Mike each looked stunned, and since Johnny couldn't bring himself to finish what he started, Stanley took over for him.  "Guys, John and Shiloh are getting married!"  He figured they didn't need to know about the cause of the marriage.  "Was there anything else you wanted to add, John?"

"Roy, would you be my best man?"

Roy stood up grinning like an idiot.  "Did you have to ask?"

~*~*~

Johnny felt extremely giddy, but trembly at the same time.  Not only was he marrying Shiloh, but also he was meeting her brother for the first time.  "What are you
worried about, junior?"

"Shiloh's brother Adam is an officer with the CHP. She said he gets pretty protective of her since their parents passed away.  Besides I want to make a good
impression on him."

Joanne heard his last comment, as she walked into the DeSoto living room. The wedding ceremony would be held in their backyard, and the kids were putting the
finishing touches on the decorations. "Don't worry, Johnny, you'll make a great impression on him."

Johnny grinned thinly, "I wish I felt the same way." He was trying to tie the tie of his dress uniform, but because of his nervousness he was making a complete mess out of it.

"Here," Joanne offered and she tied his tie for him. Running her hands across his shoulders, "There, your the handsomest man here."

Roy looked hurt, "Hey what about me?"

Joanne giggled, "You, my dear, will always be my number one."

Roy pulled her into his arms and kissed her, tenderly. "If you keep this up, you'll be late to Johnny's wedding and you're the best man."

Johnny blushed and decided he'd take a walk out back.  Heading out into the backyard he was almost tackled by Chris. "Hey, Johnny, did ya know my sister's upset with you?"

"No I didn't," Johnny grinned at the blond-headed boy. "Why is she upset with me?"

Chris giggled, "Because you said you'd wait for her to grow up and marry her."

Johnny grinned as he walked around the yard finding the girl in question sitting on the swing. She had the same good looks as her mother, but having her father's eyes; she was going to break some hearts when she grew up. Jen looked up at him and stuck her tongue out at him, "Go away, I don't like you no more."

Johnny sat down next to her.  She looked down at the ground at her feet, which didn't reach the ground. Looking up at his face she asked, "Uncle Johnny, why
are you going to marry that other girl? You promised you'd wait for me."

"Jen, I don't know how to explain this to you so you'll understand. But I love her, and she loves me. Besides, you wanna know a secret?" The little girl nodded her head yes. "Shiloh is gonna be a mommy, and I'm gonna be a daddy."

Jen grinned, "Can I tell Chris?"

Johnny nodded and laughed as she climbed down from the swing and ran off yelling, "Chris... Chris...." at the top of her lungs. Johnny took in the bouquets of
Gardenias, Roses, and Hibiscus. With a little nip of fall in the air, the setting was spectacular. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fragrances of the flowers all mingling together. "Shiloh will love this, Roses are her favorite flower," he murmured to himself.

There were chairs arranged in two rows.  Down at the end of the aisle was a podium where the Justice of the Peace would stand.

The first of the guests soon began arriving, which was Dixie with Joe Early and Kelley Brackett in tow. Dixie would be Shiloh's maid of honor; she looked lovely in her light blue dress that set off her eyes. "Where's Shiloh at," Dixie asked John.

"She's up in Joanne and Roy's bedroom getting ready."

"Thanks," Dixie replied as she headed upstairs to the bedroom.

~*~*~

Shiloh was a nervous wreck; she'd already had two bouts of morning sickness spawned by her nerves, which made her feel miserable.  Joanne was finishing her hair when Dixie rapped on the door. "If that's you, John, go away."

They heard a female laugh on the other side of the door. "No, I'm not, John."

Joanne opened the door to let Dixie in, and quickly scanned the hall to make sure John wasn't anywhere in sight. Quickly she closed the door, as Shiloh ran again to the adjoining bathroom. Once more it was nothing but dry heaves.

"Morning sickness?" Dixie asked.

"Compounded with a case of pre-marital nerves," Joanne smiled.

~*~*~

More of the guests began arriving, including Shiloh's brother Adam Sauter. He was almost the same height as John, with broad shoulders, very muscular build, brown hair, the same amber eyes as Shiloh's, and a friendly smile. He shook John's hand with an open friendliness about him. "So you must be John Gage, pleased to meet you."

Johnny smiled in return, "And you must be Adam. It's an honor to meet you."

"Shiloh's told me you're a firefighter/paramedic?"

"Yes, I work outta 51's."

"I've heard a lot of good things about you guys. Take care of my little sister."

"You can bet on it," replied John as Adam went to take his seat.

Roy came up behind him, and clapped John on the shoulder, "It's time to take our places."

Taking their places they were joined by Father Tom at the podium.  Joanne started the music playing.  Dixie was the first to come down the aisle followed by Shiloh, who was on Captain Stanley's arm. All the firemen were dressed in their dress uniforms, except for Shiloh who was wearing the traditional white of the bride. Captain Staley felt fatherly towards her, and smiled down in pride at her she smiled back.

They made their way to the front; Captain Stanley let go of her, and then took his place sitting next to her brother Adam.

"Dearly beloved," began Father Tom. "We are all gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this woman. If there is anyone here does not agree to this union speak now or forever hold his peace." He paused for a moment before continuing, that's when it happened.

"Bandit!  Get back here you crazy hound," yelled a young voice, followed the squeals of another. Roy groaned, if anything could go wrong with Gage's wedding this was it. Somehow the DeSoto family dog got out of the house and began running wildly through the backyard. A blur of blur of gold and white fur was all anyone could see.

Father Tom continued oblivious to scene before him. "John the ring?" Roy handed John the ring for Shiloh. "John, do you take Shiloh to be you lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for the rest of your life?"

"I do," John answered as he looked lovingly into Shiloh's eyes."

"Then repeat after me," replied Father Tom. "I, John Roderick Gage, promise to love Shiloh Marie Davis in sickness and in health, until death do we part." Johnny repeated the words as he slipped the ring on Shiloh finger.

"Shiloh, your ring?" Shiloh retrieved John's ring from Dixie. "Shiloh, do you take John to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward for the rest of your life?"

"I do," Shiloh answered, then gasped as the little blur of gold and white began running around John and Shiloh's feet.

"By the laws of the State of California, and Los Angeles County I now pronounce you man and wife." John went to take Shiloh in his arms to kiss her when the
DeSoto dog, Bandit, jumped up into his arms making him a muddy, hairy mess. John gave Shiloh an embarrassed, lopsided grin as he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.

~*~*~

Johnny and Shiloh returned home, as Shiloh began nibbling on his ear. "Mrs. Gage, you are insatiable."

"I thought you already knew that," she giggled.

"What?" he asked.

"Your expression when Bandit jumped into your arms," her laughter becoming infectious.

"Yeah well the little bugger better be glad that he's cute, or he'd have been one dead duck." The mental picture of Bandit being a duck caught them both off guard.  John regained his composure giving his new bride a leering, suggestive look. Taking the hint, Shiloh led John down the hallway neither paying attention to the fact that someone was watching the exchange from the outside window.

~*~*~

The next shift

"Hey Johnny!" Roy called as he entered the locker room.

John smiled back at Roy, "Hmmm...."

"If I didn't know better I'd say married life suits you."

John chuckled, "Yeah, I guess it does."

Chet walked in and John poked Roy in the ribs with his elbow, "Only problem is working with Chester B."

"Oh your very funny today, Gage."

John flashed Chet a bright smile, and headed off for role call.  Chet had to admit that John seemed to be adjusting to married life well.

~*~*~

Shiloh was putting away the laundry when she heard the doorbell ring. Going to the door she looked out the window but all she could see was the back of a man's head. Opening the door cautiously, "Yes?"

The man turned around to face her, "Roger!" she screamed as she tried to close the door. He shoved on the door sending her backpedaling.

"So you've started housekeeping here. Not much to look at is it," he sneered. "I told you I'd find you!"

"No I'm not, Roger. I'm remarried."

He noticed the little bulge around her middle, "Looks like you've put on a little weight, too." He advanced, and she tried to run, but Roger reached out and grabbing her viciously by the arm.

She tried to wrench her arm away from him, but his grip on her was like iron. He slapped her across the face so hard it stunned her. Feeling the heat slap on her face, she knew was probably bruising. He yanked her toward the door, she grabbed for something, anything.  Her fingers latched onto the door.  Roger drew back his fist, this time punching her. Yanking on her arm more, Shiloh felt the joint leave the socket at the shoulder.  She screamed in pain, as he drugs her out to his car. Opening the passenger side he threw her in.  Racing over to the driver's side he climbed in and peeled away from the house as fast as four wheels could carry them.

Shiloh and John's nosey neighbor, Mr. Wilson heard shouting from the house next door. He knew that John was at work and there was a car he didn't recognize in
the driveway. Grabbing his phone he called for the police as he saw aw a man dragging Shiloh, who was struggling to get away.

A voice answered his call. "May I help you?"

"A man is kidnapping my neighbors wife!"

"Sir what is the address," responded the voice.

"2412 Peoples Drive, hurry he's leaving with her in the car, and she's hurt."

"We'll get someone out there."

Mr. Wilson watched as the car sped away.  He turned to go inside the house to get his binoculars when he heard the screech of tires and a crash of metal against metal. "Oh my God!"

~*~*~

The tones sounded at 51's. "Station 51... Traffic Accident 3000 block of Peoples cross street Linda. Time out 12:35."

"That's near my house," Johnny hollered as he and Roy ran to their vehicles. Both paramedics jumped in the squad.

"I'm sure it's not Shiloh," Roy tried to reassure the younger man. 

Johnny tried to tell himself that, but a knot began to form in his stomach as they pulled up to the accident.   "I'll take the Fairlane," hollered Roy as he ran over to the car, which had been broadsided by the Blue Torino. Johnny looked into the driver's side window and saw the driver looked to be okay. He went over to the passenger side, forcing the door open with the pry bar. He began checking the passenger, when his eyes moved up to her face.  "It's Shiloh...." Johnny almost fell to pieces.

Stanley, who stood near the accident, heard Johnny, "Marco, help Johnny. Chet, Stoker help Roy."  Stanley ran over to Johnny and helped him pull Shiloh from the
car. The passenger side was caved in where it had impacted with the guardrail bounced off.

The two men laid her down gently as she began to come around, moaning in pain.  "Shiloh, can you hear me?"

"Mmmm. Johnny?" she asked as the recent events began coming back to her. Stanley had the bio-phone open and was contacting Rampart so he could relay vitals. She could feel the pressure on her arm as Johnny took her blood pressure, then her pulse and respiration.

"Where do you hurt?" Johnny asked as he took in the bruises on her face and on her other arm, they weren't made by the accident.

"Shoulder hurts, stomach, and my head," she whispered before losing consciousness again.

"John, Rampart says to start two IV's Ringers Lactate and transport immediately." Johnny acknowledged Captain Stanley as he began starting the IV's. The ambulance pulled up and John yelled over to Roy, "Roy, I'm heading to Rampart." Roy nodded as John climbed in and helped the attendants pull the gurney in holding Shiloh.

~*~*~

The ambulance backed into the bay and Johnny jumped down from the back as the attendants pulled the gurney off. Dixie took one look at the young woman, and
gasped. Then she took in Johnny's worried face, "Three," she yelled as she walked alongside the gurney.

They flew through the doors and transferred Shiloh to the examination table. "John, what happened?" Dixie asked concerned.

"I don't know. All I know is that she was in a strange car, with a man I never met."

Shiloh stirred, hearing part of Johnny's answer, "It was Roger," she managed to get out before passing out again. Doctor Brackett entered and began his examination. Dixie took Shiloh's blood pressure again, "BP's dropping."

"Let's get her to OR STAT!" called Brackett as they transferred her sending her to the OR.

Johnny looked lost, his wife and his baby were both in danger. Dixie took his hand, and led him out of the treatment room and down to the lounge. Johnny sat heavily in a seat, and placed his head in his hands as he began to cry. Dixie rubbed his back trying to comfort him knowing he was worried.

He looked up at Dixie, "What if I loose them both?" The tears began again, as Dixie took him into her arms and let him cry. Her own eyes were tearing up.

Roy entered, followed by Marco who had his nose bandaged. "What happened, Marco?" asked Dixie.

"That jerk driving the car punched me in the nose and ran away from the scene."

Johnny's head snapped up when Marco's words reached his brain. "That was her ex-husband," both men looked stunned. “He's got this deluded idea that they're still married.” 

A few moments later, Adam entered the doctor's lounge. He had received the news of the attempted kidnapping and accident. Hearing that his sister was in surgery did nothing to improve his temper. He was furious, and began to lash out at the one person who loved his sister almost as much or more than himself.

"Where in the hell were you?" Adam shouted as his hands curled up in fists. "You said you'd protect her, and what happens, that psycho tries to kidnap her and almost kills her. And where were you?  Probably at the station drinking coffee and swapping stories on how much the hero you firemen are," Adam's words were vicious, cutting through John like a knife.

A small flicker of flame began behind to kindle as John rose to the occasion. "Where the hell was I? I was there on the scene treating my wife! If you want to lay blame on anyone, just where in the hell were you when the police were called, or when he punched my friend here in the nose and ran away from the scene?" John began shaking with fury. 

Dixie had heard enough of this, "That's enough!" she shouted. "This is a hospital, not a boxing ring!  Do you two understand me? If you want to continue this discussion, then I suggest you both go outside and beat yourselves senseless, but right now if anyone needs the both of you the most it's Shiloh!"

Both men were chastised enough finally regaining their senses.  "She's right, you know." John gave Adam a weak smile.

Adam returned it, and joked. "Yeah.  Just like my Sergeant at Central. Tuff as nails."

Dixie replied to them, "And don't either of you forget it." She turned on her heel as she left the doctor's lounge muttering under her breath about bull headed Paramedics and CHP officers.

~*~*~

Feeling like Johnny had been waiting an eternity Brackett entered the room.  Walking over to the counter he and poured himself a cup of coffee.  Turning around, he could see both John and another man awaiting word of how Shiloh was. 

"Doc?" Johnny asked, hopeful. 

Brackett placed the cup down on the counter. "Johnny, Shiloh's in recovery. She had a dislocated shoulder, and internal bleeding, which we were able to stop, but
the damage was extensive," he stopped for a moment. "The trauma was just too much, she miscarried.  I'm sorry John."

Johnny answered quietly, "I know you did all you could."

Brackett took his cup and prepared to go to his office, but was stopped by a whisper from the heartbroken paramedic.  "Uh... Doc?  Was it a girl or a boy?"

"Johnny, it was a boy."

Johnny turned toward a window as Brackett walked out. Adam rose and joined his brother-in-law at the window.  Johnny turned to the CHP officer, "Adam, I
was going to have a son..." The tears began to roll down his face, as Adam placed a hand on the paramedics shoulder.  Silently they both shed tears for the loss
of life.

~*~*~

Shiloh was moved to her room.  Johnny wouldn't listen when he was told that she was heavily sedated and probably wouldn't wake-up until morning. He wanted his
to be the first face she saw.

Dixie entered the room quietly, and found John standing, looking out the window in Shiloh's room, but not seeing anything.

"John?" she asked questioningly.

He tried to smile, but couldn't as he replied, "This isn't your floor."

"I let the nurses on this floor know that under no circumstances are they to try to run you out of here, or risk getting chewed out by me... personally."

"Thanks, Dix," he rubbed his eyes.

"John, you look wore out. I can have a cot sent up here for you."

Johnny was going to say no, but the thought of sitting in that hard chair one more time changed his mind. "Thanks," he replied.

Dixie made the call for the cot, but she knew he wouldn't sleep. She called Brackett's office, and the good doctor prescribed a mild tranquilizer for the paramedic. When she had hung up with Brackett, she phoned the pharmacy and had the tranquilizer sent up.

An orderly brought in a cot and set it up for John. Dixie held the small paper cut with the tranquilizer in it, and handed it to Johnny.

"What's this?" he asked suspiciously.


"A mild tranquilizer to help you relax." He reluctantly took the tranquilizer and lay down on the cot. Dixie brushed a few stray strands of hair from his forehead, and squeezed his hand. She quietly left Shiloh's room.

John thought he would never be able to be go to sleep, and he never realized when sleep did take him. John thrashed in his sleep, and moaned. He woke with a
start, "Why?" he raged. He wished he could find an answer to that burning question, but it would never come. Nothing about the past twelve hours made any sense to him.

~*~*~

Roy left the hospital, his thoughts in a whirl. Captain Stanley had called in replacements for both John and Roy. 'Hell, if Cap could've gotten away with it he would have called in replacements for the whole shift,' he thought.

He climbed into the squad, and drove back to the station. He hadn't even called Joanne, 'What am I gonna tell her, and the kids?' They had been so happy that Johnny was going to be a daddy. Chris was making plans on how he was going to teach the baby to play ball. And Jenny, she'd been telling Chris that it wasn't going to be a boy; that it was going to be a girl, and she was going to teach her how to play with Barbie Dolls.

Roy hadn't realized that he had backed the squad into the station; he was on autopilot. It wasn't even his baby and he felt the loss that John had cried so hard for at Rampart. Would their lives get back to normal? He slowly climbed out of the squad and walked to the locker room and changing into his civvies, and headed out back of the station with home being his only intention right now.

Stanley and the others were out back dealing with their own feelings.  They were all working off their anger by scrubbing and hanging the hose. Stanley noticed Roy walking out, and called to him. "Hey, pal, how's John doing?"

"He's hanging in there," Roy replied. "Dixie made it a standing order that no one's to run Johnny off after visiting hours are over."

Stanley nodded in understanding. "When you see him again, tell him that we're all sorry.  We knew how much fun he was having at the idea of being a father."


"I wil, Cap," Roy, replied as he climbed into his car, and pulled out of the station.

~*~*~

Roy slowly climbed out of his car and headed for the front door. Chris, his oldest, ran out of the house with Jenny fast on his heels. "You big meanie!" she yelled as the blond haired youngster ran for the protection of his father.

"What did you do this time, Christopher?" Roy asked sternly.

"Nothing," Chris answered innocently.

Joanne followed both children, and noticed Roy standing on the sidewalk. "Roy?  What's happened?" She could tell something was troubling him. "Alright, kids, go on over to Mrs. Hooper's and play with Timmy and Paul. It's what you both have been wanting to do all day." Both children shouted with glee as they ran over to their next-door neighbor's house.

Roy followed Joanne into the house, she led him over to the couch and he sank into the cushions. Joanne sat down next to him, and he grabbed her unexpectedly
causing her to yelp. "Roy?" she asked as he buried his head into her hair, "Roy, what's wrong?"

"We ran on a traffic accident today that was near Johnny's house. I took the car that had been broadsided, Johnny took the other one. The passenger was Shiloh, and.. and... she lost the baby." He finally uttered as his own tears of grief and guilt fell into Joanne's hair.

~*~*~

Shiloh moaned in pain, and Johnny was at her side instantly.  He brushed hair away from her forehead, "Shiloh... Shiloh honey, can you hear me?" In response to his question she became agitated, and Johnny became more worried. "Shiloh, it's okay. Please wake-up," John pleaded. He pushed the call button near the bed but no one answered or came to the room. He didn't want to leave her in the condition she was in.

Roger came at her again, "You bitch!" he shouted as he slapped her yet again. "I told you that one day I would come back for you, and what do I find? You've set up housekeeping with someone else! I don't give a damn if you say your remarried, cause I'm still your husband no matter what."

Adam, who'd been down in the hospital cafeteria came in, and spied Johnny trying to calm Shiloh down. "Johnny?"

"Call extension 245, that's the number at Dixie's desk." Adam reached out for the phone and dialed the extension.  He'd never seen his sister act this way, not even on a bad day.

Shiloh was becoming more combative as Johnny was trying to hold her down, but to now avail.  Shiloh caught Johnny with a right cross on the chin. Johnny yelped in pain, but never let go of her.

Roger threw more punches, but the ones that hurt her the most were to her lower abdomen. She cried out in pain.

Johnny kept murmuring to her that everything was going to be all right, when she screamed out in pain. The scream tore at Johnny's heart he had never heard such a heart wrenching sound in all his life.

~*~*~

Dixie's phone rang, but the head nurse was nowhere to be seen. Dr. Brackett, who was standing near, answered the phone and heard Adam's voice on the other
end of the line. He heard the scream in the background. "Alright Adam, I'm on my way."

Brackett spied Dixie coming from treatment room 2, "Dix, I need your help." Brackett rushed toward the elevator with Dixie in tow. 

"What's the matter, Kel?"

"It's Shiloh. She's become combative. Johnny is trying to calm her down but she's already punched him the jaw. I hope she doesn't rip any of those
stitches."

"Why didn't one of the nurses up on Shiloh's floor respond to the call button?" Dixie asked.

"I don't know, but that's one reason why I brought you along. When you find out, I want it made clear that Shiloh is a special patient and no one will ignore her needs!" Brackett was angry, angrier than Dixie had seen him in a long time.

Kel and Dixie hurried off the elevator and headed for Shiloh's room.  They saw Nurse Blevins coming from a patient's room, but there was no sign of the other nurse. When Nurse Blevins saw the doctor and nurse run past she knew something was up.

~*~*~

Kel and Dixie rushed into the room, both John and Adam were trying to get Shiloh calmed down but all their well-intentioned efforts were failing. Brackett at once had Dixie administer 5 mg of Diazepam to calm Shiloh down, and then Kel took in the spots of blood on the blanket covering Shiloh's body.

Brackett did a quick examination and discovered that Shiloh was developing a secondary infection.  He authorized an antibiotic for her, and had Dixie get him a suture tray.   He repaired the stitches that Shiloh had managed to rip open. He then took Johnny and Adam aside. "She's running a fever due to a secondary infection.  this was something that we were expecting." He paused for a moment, and asked an even harder question, "Can either of you tell me if you saw a nurse at the nurse's station at anytime before this episode began?"

"Yeah," Adam answered. "It was Nurse Rice, but when I peeked out the door, there was no one at the nurses station."

"Thanks," Brackett replied. He turned to see if Dixie had heard and noticed that she was already gone.

~*~*~

Dixie stormed off to the Nurse's Lounge, and found Nurse Nancy Rice sitting at one of the tables sipping her coffee. Dixie was fuming, and everyone cleared when they saw whom the intended target was.  "Nancy, would you mind telling me where you were about a half-an-hour ago?"

"Right here taking my break," Nancy answered innocently.

"Wrong answer," Dixie responded icily. "I want to know a good reason why you would ignore a patients call button when that patient needed help!"

"I left before the I noticed the light was on," she tried sounding innocent.

"Wrong again. I have the word of the patient's brother. He saw you there!"

"You want an honest answer?"

Dixie nodded her head in response.

"The honest answer is... What does John see in her anyway? I mean if he would've married anybody, why not me?"

"I'll tell you the answer to that one. Because Johnny fell in love with her and not you, and WHATEVER your personal feelings are towards a patient, the patient
COMES FIRST."  Dixie waited for a moment for a response but didn't get one. "You’re on notice right now. If I get one more complaint from Adam or John, you can find yourself another job. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

"Perfectly," replied Nancy, now contrite from being chastised.

~*~*~

Nancy Rice and Kathy Blevins began working on the charts for all the patients of their floor. "Can you believe this, Dixie chews me out over John Gage's wife. What in the hell is so special about her anyway? She's just another bimbo."

Kathy looked at Nancy as though she were a creature from another planet. "I can't believe you just said that. From what I understand, Shiloh is very special to John. Not only that, but did you know she's a paramedic also? Works out of 45's."

Nancy eyes flashed green with envy. "I wish I was in her shoes. John is such a cute guy."

Kathy laughed, "I know he's cute, but he's just suffered a very painful loss." Kathy was checking out Shiloh's chart and felt for the couple, she knew what it was like to miscarry. She wound up miscarrying in her second trimester, and she felt that loss much harder than people thought she should.

Nancy looked at Kathy wondering what she just meant, and why she was suddenly being morose. Kathy looked at her, and replied, "She was pregnant and miscarried at 16 weeks, the result of a car accident."

"I didn't know," she whispered.

Kathy got a bit angry with her friend, "Well if you would start checking the charts first instead of the husbands, maybe you'd know something! I've got rounds to make," she stated coldly as she left.

~*~*~

Shiloh slowly began waking up, at first she was confused and disoriented, but the events of the past day and a half began coming back to her. She realized that someone was holding her hand, and looked over to see Johnny sitting in the chair next to her bed sleeping with his head on the bed beside her. His other arm was stretched out on the bed, his hand tangled in her hair.

She tried to speak, but her throat was so dry it hurt to try to talk.  Kathy Blevins walked into the room; she was doing vital checks on all the patients, since Nancy seemed to be so hung up on this woman's husband. She had to admit that he was cute, but she saw the love he had for Shiloh and knew that this was a true and lasting love.

"I'm glad to see you're awake," Kathy smiled down at Shiloh, and her smile was returned. "Are you in any pain? I can get you something for it."

Shiloh nodded that yes she was in pain. and tried to reach for the water but was stopped by Kathy. "Don't worry honey, if you need anything, hit the call button and I'll be down here to make sure you get it." She poured Shiloh a glass of water and Shiloh sipped slowly, as the dryness of her throat felt better.

Shiloh tried to say her thanks, but Kathy stopped her as she was taking her vitals and temperature. "Now, we don't want to wake that doll of a husband you have
there. He really needs to sleep; he's been so worried about you. Refused to leave your side," she smiled. "And that brother of yours, he's been here the whole time himself."

Shiloh scanned the room with her eyes, seeing Adam sleeping on the cot. She smiled tenderly that the two most important men in her life were there with her.

"Now you just lie still, this may hurt a bit, but I have to check your stitches. You must have had a bad dream early this morning cause you ripped them loose." She examined the area, and made some notations on the chart in her hand. "Good your temperature is down a bit, I'm going to get your pain medication and call Dr. Brackett to let him know you're awake."

Shiloh nodded her thanks as Kathy turned and left the room. Trying to move to make herself more comfortable, Shiloh sucked in her breath as the pain in her abdomen increased.  'Big mistake,' she thought to herself.

~*~*~

Nancy rejoined Kathy at the nurse's station, and overheard a conversation between Kathy and Dr. Brackett. "Yes Dr. Brackett, she's awake and seems to be in good spirits. Yes doctor... I'll get her pain medication to her right away."

Kathy hung up the phone and went to get the pain medication, noticing Nancy walking down the hall with Shiloh Gage's room as the target. Kathy figured she was going to have to apologize for her behavior this morning, and went on about her business. That is before she heard hysterical crying and two men screaming at Nancy as she walked from the room with a satisfied smile on her face.

~*~*~

Nancy overheard the conversation between Kathy and Dr. Brackett. 'I don't care if I loose my job over this. John Gage has had this coming ever since I found out he'd married that woman!' She walked down the hall determined to make this her last stand if need be.

She walked into Shiloh's room and took in the scene, 'I want you to suffer Johnny,' she thought. "Hello," she smiled pleasantly enough at Shiloh. " I thought you would like to know that as a result of the car accident you were in, you lost the baby you were carrying."

Shiloh looked as though she'd been slapped, then it hit her. "No..," her voice croaked. "Please tell me it's not true, please...." She begged the nurse who stood there looking happy. Then the tears started, started, as she cried out, "No!"

Johnny woke to the sound of Shiloh's pleadings.  When he saw Nancy standing there, he put two and two together and didn't like the answer he got. "What in the hell have you done, Nancy?" he asked as he took Shiloh in his arms trying to comfort her. At the sound of Johnny's angry voice, Adam awoke and could tell that something drastic had occurred, but not sure what it was. He was still trying to wake up when he heard Shiloh's hysterical crying, and John's outburst at the nurse in question.

She was quite pleased with herself and let the smile on her face show it. "You picked her over me John, so now your paying for it. Besides Dr. Brackett would have told her soon enough, but why wait?"

Adams voice boomed as he shouted at her as she turned to leave, "Why you vindictive little bitch! You'll pay for upsetting my sister like this!"

John added, "I'll see you loose your job!"

~*~*~

Kathy hurried down the hall, and avoided Nancy like the plague. She immediately opened the door and found Shiloh in a state of hysterics over the loss of Johnny's baby. 'Damn bitch!!' Kathy thought as she injected the needle into the medication port of her IV. Soon the medication began taking effect and Shiloh was sleeping again.

Kathy tried to apologize for not being here sooner, but both Johnny and Adam stopped her. Johnny spoke for the both of them. "We know that you had nothing to do with Nancy's behavior." He sighed as he ran his hand through his dark hair in frustration, "Nancy has had it out for me."

Johnny turned to Adam, "Keep an eye on Shiloh, I'm going to see Brackett." With those words he stalked out of the room, and headed for the elevator.

~*~*~

Johnny walked down the hall toward Kelley Brackett's office, and saw Dixie at her desk. She took one look at his face and knew something had happened. “Johnny?" she asked as she fell in step beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Nancy Rice, that's what's wrong!" Johnny growled in anger.

Dixie didn't say another word, but knew that this was it for Nancy. She continued down the hall with Johnny, so she could find out what it was Nancy had done that
was so terrible. Johnny knocked on Brackett's door, and then stuck his head in as Brackett looked up from his desk. Seeing the look on the young man's face he immediately offered John a seat.   Johnny shook his head no to the offered seat. He noticed Dixie follow Johnny in and she took a seat on the couch. "What's this all about?" Brackett asked.

"Doc," Johnny started as he paced the room, "I want Nancy Rice fired!”

Dixie perked up at this, "What has she done this time?"

Johnny stopped and looked at both Dixie and Brackett, his eyes smoldering with anger. "She waited until she knew that Shiloh was awake, came in and told her about the baby. Which sent Shiloh into hysterics, if Kathy Blevins hadn't come in with her pain medication when she did, I don't know what would have happened."

Brackett was not a happy camper, it should have been either his job or Johnny's to tell Shiloh about the baby, and he knew Johnny would have done it with more
compassion. "Could you tell me exactly what happened?"

"Well, Doc... I was asleep when Nancy first came in, but I heard Shiloh and I was able to piece together what happened. But the worst of it was she just stood
there smiling, like what she did was a way to get even.  The strange thing is she dumped me."

"Nancy can't use personal feelings as an excuse to cause a patient setback in their recovery." Brackett looked at Dixie, "Dix, could you get Nurse Rice here in my office."

"Already one step ahead of you, Kel," responded Dixie as she had picked up Kel's phone and paged the nurse in question to Brackett's office. Within moments there
was a knock on Brackett's door, and Nancy Rice stepped in with a smug look on her face.

Johnny balled his hands up into fists, how he wanted to knock that look off her face. He usually didn't have this much anger towards one person, but Nancy was one he was beginning to avidly hate with a passion. Not even Chet and his stupid practical jokes made him this angry. "If you were a man," Johnny muttered under his breath.

Nancy caught sight of John's body language, 'I struck a nerve,' she thought, as she sat in one of the chairs across from Brackett's desk. Brackett leaned forward, "What do you think you were doing by telling Mrs. Gage that she had lost her baby?"

"I knew you were going to do it eventually, so why should I wait?"

"Why should you wait?" Dixie was flabbergasted. "Nancy, you've been a nurse long enough to know that either the doctor or the family should tell a patient news like that!"

"John rebuked my attentions, and made me feel awful. So I thought he should feel the same way." Her smug grin was making everyone else in the room sick.

"Since you've shown no remorse in your attitude to a patient, or that patient's family I am going to recommend that your employment here be terminated," stated Dr. Brackett. Dixie shook her head in agreement.  "Also these incident's will be placed in your permanent employment file, which may make it almost impossible for you to find another job as a nurse in the country." Brackett paused to let his words sink into her brain.

Nancy stood up with an angry sneer planted firmly on her lips, "This won't be the last time you see me, John Gage! Count on it!" She flew from the room in a haze
of imagined pain caused by Johnny. Her version of the events that happened was twisted from the actual facts.

~*~*~

When John returned to his wife's room, he found Adam talking animatedly with Miguel Martinez, Shiloh's partner from 45's. They seemed to be getting along, but John noticed that Shiloh's sleep was a bit restless.  He sat down next to her bed deep in thought about the threat Nancy had made. 'Hell, it's like in the last month and a half she went from a sweet girl, to the bitch from hell. I wonder what she meant by this won't be the last time that I see her.' He felt drained, as he dozed off in the chair.

Shiloh moaned, waking to find Johnny asleep in the chair.  She could hear Adam talking to someone else, and recognized the voice as belonging to her partner
Miguel. Her thoughts hit her like a ton of bricks, 'I lost the baby, the one thread that would have kept Johnny and me together. Now that the baby's gone I don't have anything to live for. Johnny doesn't love me, he hates me.' She began to cry, trying to keep her sobs from waking Johnny, or disturbing Adam and Miguel's conversation. Johnny heard the quiet sobs, and reached out to his wife. "Honey, I'm here...." Shiloh didn't respond to him, she had a vacant, lost expression on her face. "Shiloh, please honey... I love you...." He felt his heart breaking over the pain they were both going through.

Shiloh found her voice, "How can you still love me? You probably hate me, and if you do I don't blame you. I'm not worth loving...."

Johnny was shocked.  Johnny gently climbed into the bed next to her being careful of her stitches; he lifted her chin with his finger and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Shiloh, I do love you, you have to believe that. If you were taken away from me I don't know what I'd do. Your the calming part to my restless soul, you've made me a better person."

A small smile crept across her face, "You mean that, don't you?" She couldn't help herself for questioning him.

"Yes I do, and I realize that the loss of the baby will be hard on both of us, but we'll get through this. I promise you."

A tear escaped from her eyes, "I was looking forward to holding the baby once he was born, but now I have nothing but this ache in my heart that won't leave me
alone."

Miguel elbowed Adam in the ribs and the pair decided to make their exit, so that Johnny and Shiloh could work through this. 

Johnny placed his arm around Shiloh hugging her to him as gently as possible. "I know, darlin', I know. The pain will always be there, but we'll be able to have more kids someday. Until that time comes, I'm here and will always be here for you." He kissed her again.  They both fell asleep together. Shiloh reassured that John still
loved her, and John knowing that he had his wife back.

The End . . .for now. . .