Two days later, Justin sat in his office preparing for Johnny’s afternoon physical therapy session.  He had been excited to learn that his friend’s condition seemed to be improving.  His surgical drains, arterial line, pericardial catheter, and NG tube had been removed, his fever was down, and the new analgesic seemed to work well for him.  The ICU day nurse had informed Justin that Johnny had even managed to eat a liquid breakfast this morning.  While Justin knew that he still would not be able to do much more with Johnny today than some passive range of motion exercises, he felt his spirits lifted that finally they would be making some progress toward recovery.

Justin had not seen Camarin again since he dropped her off at the ranch the morning after she spent the night at his beach house.  Hannah had greeted the couple with a knowing smile, but had said nothing.  Justin figured she suspected something was going on between her brother and Johnny’s sister, but that she would wait and allow him to break the news.  Thinking about it now caused anxiety to pool in the pit of his stomach, and he wasn’t sure why.  After all, he and Camarin were consenting adults, and certainly didn’t need anyone’s permission or approval.  But, for some reason Justin still felt nervous about how Johnny would react to the news.  And so, he decided to keep the relationship a secret for now.

Tossing his pen across the desk and tucking Johnny’s folder under his arm, Justin stood and headed down the hall to the elevators, pressing the button for the ICU floor.  When the doors opened, he got off and offered a greeting to the nurses at the horseshoe shaped station in the center of the ward.  As he approached Johnny’s room, he heard voices.  It sounded like Johnny’s respiratory therapist was working with him, so Justin turned, intending to come back later.  But something about the interaction he heard inside disturbed him.

“Mr. Gage, you need to cooperate if you wish to avoid pneumonia.”

Justin could hear Johnny utter something in return, but he could not make out the words.  His voice was strained with frustration.

“I know it hurts, but you’re a paramedic, Mr. Gage.  You know as well as I do that you have to do this, so you may as well stop giving me a hard time and get it over with.”

Justin was unhappy with the impatient tone the therapist was using.  He was speaking to Johnny as if he were a disobedient child.  He decided to make his presence known, and he entered the cubicle in time to hear Johnny’s pained entreaty.

“No more…please…” 

Johnny was positioned on his left side with his head lower than the rest of his body.  Justin could tell immediately that he was not comfortable.  His face was pinched with pain, his breathing was rapid and shallow, and his eyes were closed.  The blips on the heart monitor raced alarmingly.

“Mr. Gage, I have other patients to see this morning.  Now, if you’re just going to waste my time…”  The therapist stopped short when he noticed Justin’s arrival and the clear “back off” expression on his face.

Justin moved to the bed and squatted down so he was even with Johnny’s face.  He rested a hand on his shoulder.  “Hey, John.  It’s me.  You okay?”

Johnny felt a mixture of relief and shame that his friend had come to his rescue.  “No…”

Justin left his hand where it was and glared over at the other therapist who immediately began defending himself. 

“He needs to clear his lungs and he’s refusing to cough.  He of all people should know…”

Justin held up a hand to stop the flow of words.  “Wait for me out in the hall.  I want to talk to you.”  Leaning down again, Justin spoke soothingly.  “He’s gone, John.  You want to see if you can cough a little for me while you’re still in this position?”  Justin knew it would be painful, but he hoped he could get Johnny to try.  The last thing his friend needed right now was pneumonia.

Johnny shook his head.  “No…”

Justin moved his hand to Johnny’s back and began rubbing circles between his shoulder blades.  “Listen, I know it hurts…”

“No!”  Johnny’s whole body jerked, causing him to inhale sharply before settling.  “You don’t understand.  How could you possibly…you …have no…idea…”  Johnny’s pain increased along with his agitation until he could no longer force the words out that he so wanted to be heard.  He was tired of people telling him they knew how he felt when they didn’t.  And he had had his fill of pain and ICU stays and lengthy recuperations, and all of the undesirable things that went along with it.

Justin immediately regretted his choice of words.  “I’m sorry, John.  You’re right.  Just try to calm down and tell me what I can do for you, okay?”

Johnny worked hard to control his breathing, the pain in his chest and left side becoming almost unbearable now.  His left hip and leg were aching fiercely as well and lying in this head down position was making him feel dizzy and nauseous.  “Just…leave me…alone…”

“John, I can’t do that.  You’re uncomfortable here…”

“Leave me…alone!”  Johnny had to fight hard to keep his emotions in check, but unshed tears burned hot behind closed lids.

Justin rose to a standing position with a prolonged sigh.  “Okay.  I’ll leave.  But, only for a few minutes.  I’ll be back in a bit.”  He left the room before Johnny had a chance to protest.

Out in the hall, Justin found the respiratory therapist looking at his watch and looking more than a little annoyed.  “What the hell did you think you were doing in there?”  Justin spoke in a hushed shout.

The therapist crossed his arms.  “I was doing my job.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I wasn’t aware your job included harassing your patients.”

The therapist started walking away.  “I don’t have to stand here and listen to this.  I have other patients to see…”

Justin walked around so that he was facing the other man, effectively cutting off his escape.  “Oh, I think you do need to listen to this.  Are you aware John has a myocardial contusion?”

“Of course I am.  I read his chart.” 

Justin’s anger brewed stronger at the therapist’s smug tone.  “Well, then what exactly did you think you were going to accomplish by upsetting him?  He’s got a fractured sternum, not to mention fractured ribs.  Breathing hurts like hell right now, much less coughing…”

“Which is exactly what he needs to be doing and you know it.  I’m not able to perform any percussion due to his injuries, so it’s even more imperative that he cough and clear the secretions…”

“I know that.”  Justin was raising his voice now in response to the other man’s volume.  “But a little sensitivity would go a long way…”

The argument was interrupted by Todd Andrews who had been on his way to check on Johnny.  “Justin?  What’s the problem here?  I could hear you all the way down at the elevators.”

Justin backed off immediately.  “You’re right, Todd.  This isn’t the time or the place for this.  I’ll talk to you about it later.”  He started walking into Johnny’s room with Todd hot on his heels, leaving the respiratory therapist out in the hall.

One look at the man on the bed, and Todd had a pretty good guess why Justin was upset.  Johnny was in obvious distress.  His casted leg was barely supported by pillows and seemed to be twisted at an odd angle.  The first thing Todd did was level the bed, speaking as he went.  “John?  It’s Todd Andrews.  Justin and I are going to get you more comfortable.  Tell me what’s hurting.”

Speaking was a monumental effort now.  “Legs…chest…”  He paused to gather enough strength to continue.  “Hip…hurts…”

“Okay.  Hang in there a minute.  Do you think you would be more comfortable on your back?”

Johnny nodded.

Justin removed the pillows from underneath the cast and carefully supported Johnny’s right leg.  “It’s gonna hurt ‘til we get you moved, John.  Sorry.”  When he received no response, he and Todd briefly discussed a course of action, and within seconds, they had their patient on his back, his legs adequately supported.

Johnny was clutching at his chest now, unsure if his difficulty breathing was because of pain or some other more ominous reason.  He tried to decipher whether there was pressure or tightness or anything else that might signal some serious condition, but all he could focus on was piercing pain that increased with every breath.

Todd’s hands moved to the bed controls.  “Let’s try sitting you up more.”  He moved the bed until Johnny was almost in an upright position.  “That better?”

Johnny’s breathing slowed as incredible exhaustion set into his bones.  He was damp from perspiration and felt chilled, and all he wanted was a warm blanket and a long nap.  “Cold…”

Todd began his examination as he spoke.  “We’ll get you a blanket from the warmer in just a minute.”  He pinched the toes on Johnny’s feet and checked for femoral and pedal pulses.  Then he carefully peeled back the bandages covering the incisions on Johnny’s left thigh.  “Everything’s looking good here, John.  I’m going to put a compression bandage on that leg today.”  Before he did that, though, he pulled out his stethoscope and quickly moved it over Johnny’s chest.  “Your lungs sound pretty good.  I know it’s hard, but try to use your spirometer a few times today, okay?”

Johnny nodded and then his face contorted in pain as his leg was moved in order to accommodate the tightly wrapped ace bandage.  He tried his best not to make a sound, but several weak moans and hisses managed to escape before the wrap was in place.

Next, Todd turned his attention to Johnny’s left hip, noting that the swelling had gone down considerably.  “I’ll talk to Kel this afternoon.  I think as long as you keep improving as you have, I may be able to schedule your hip surgery within the next few days.”

Johnny weakly shook his head.  “No…no more…surgery.” 

Todd understood the young man’s concern, and was almost at a loss to offer an explanation that would appease him.  The truth was, he would need to cause more trauma to the joint in order to replace the damaged hardware, which meant Johnny would experience more pain post operatively than he was right now.  “I’m sorry, John.  But until I replace that plate and those screws, your hip is very unstable.  Your damaged muscle will need that stability before you can bear weight on that leg.  Also, your fractures will take longer to heal.  That means, you’ll need to be able to support all of your weight on your left leg for a while.”

Johnny sunk the weight of his head into his pillow and closed his eyes.  “Damn it.”

Todd gave Johnny’s leg a pat and turned to Justin.  “I think he’s ready for that blanket now.  And some ice on his leg would be good.”  He walked around to the opposite side of the bed and quickly examined the splinted fingers of his patient’s right hand.  “This is looking good, John.  Your foot too.  Do you need anything for pain before I go?”

Johnny thought for a minute.  The pain was there, that was for sure.  He didn’t think it ever completely went away, but for now it was manageable.  The only thing he wanted right now was to be left alone so he could sleep.  “No, thanks.  Tired…”

Todd spoke as he updated Johnny’s chart.  “Well, that’s pretty normal.  From an orthopedic standpoint, things are progressing well, John.  I know it’s hard to be patient, but I promise we’ll have you standing at that altar as soon as possible, okay?”

“Right now…I’d settle for…being able to move, Doc.”

Todd returned the chart with a smile.  “All in due course.  Take it easy.  I’ll be in to check on you later.”  The doctor passed Justin on his way out as he returned with a warm blanket and an ice pack.

“Here you go, John.  Straight from the warmer.”  Justin laid the blanket over the one already on the bed.  Then, he moved it aside just enough to position the ice pack on Johnny’s left thigh.

Johnny looked down at the pack.  “Kinda…defeats the purpose…of the blanket.”

“I know, but it’ll make your leg feel better.”  Justin opened his folder, resting it on his knee, one foot on the bed frame.  He sighed as he mentally reviewed the session he had hoped to complete, knowing it would cause his friend more pain.  Good pain.  Necessary pain.  But, remembering the respiratory therapist’s harsh words and careless treatment caused Justin to decide Johnny had had enough for now.  He was nearly asleep, so Justin figured he would let him rest.  He fully intended to speak with someone about the other therapist’s behavior, though.  Regular physical therapy sessions were important in order to keep Johnny’s recuperation on track, and Justin did not appreciate having to cancel one because of someone else’s lacking bedside manner.  He closed the folder and pulled Johnny’s blanket up to his neck.  “Get some rest, John.  I’ll be back later.”

Johnny was almost too exhausted to speak now.  “Not gonna…do anything?”

“Not now.  Go to sleep.”

Johnny closed his eyes and allowed the warmth of the blanket to soothe his innumerable aches and pains.  He was grateful that Justin had postponed their session, the idea of having his arms stretched and moved and rotated causing pain to pulse through his rib cage.  He moaned softly.

Justin laid a hand on Johnny’s arm.  “What is it?”

But Johnny didn’t answer.

Realizing his friend was asleep, Justin turned and headed toward Kelly Brackett’s office.

zzz

Justin walked toward the base station in the ER and overheard a conversation in progress.

“He’s taking me to Spazio this Saturday night.”  Dixie’s voice wafted down the hall.

“Spazio?” 

Justin didn’t recognize the voice at first, but when the speaker came into view, he recognized him as Billy Hanks, Roy’s temporary partner. 

“I heard that’s one of the best jazz clubs in LA.”

Dixie nodded.

“Who’s going to Spazio?”  Justin queried as he nodded greetings to Dixie and the two paramedics she was speaking to. 

Roy greeted Justin with a smile and filled him in.  “Dr. Early’s taking Dix there this Saturday night.”

Justin felt an unwelcome twinge of jealousy pulling at his heart.  “On a date?”

Dixie shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know if I’d call it a date.  He plays there once in a while.  I mentioned that I’d like to check it out, so he offered to take me.”

“Well, I think it’s great!”  Roy offered as he tossed his empty Styrofoam cup in the trash.

Dixie smiled.  “I’m looking forward to it.  It’s been a long time since anyone’s taken me anywhere this nice.  I might even do a little singing.” 

Justin locked eyes with the smoky voiced nurse.  He was remembering late nights spent at a small corner table, sipping wine, listening to Dixie croon old standards on open mike night at The Haig.  There was a time she had dreams of making it big as a vocalist, until a two year stint in Korea caused her to decide on a full time nursing career.  Justin often wondered if she had ever regretted it.  “You and Early?  Huh.”

Roy looked over at Justin quizzically, unsure about the clouded expression on his face.  “Well, I think it makes perfect sense.  You’re both into jazz.  You’ll have a great time.”

“Who’ll have a great time?”  Brackett appeared on the scene.

“Dr. Early and Dixie have a date Saturday night.”  Billy offered.

“It’s not a date!”  Dixie began to protest.  “It’s just two people going out to enjoy some music together.”

The three men nodded and spoke in unison.  “A date.”

Never one to lose her composure, Dixie ignored them and transitioned seamlessly.  “Here are the rest of your supplies.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, some of us have work to do.”  She handed Roy a box and headed off toward a treatment room amidst a chorus of chuckles.

As if suddenly remembering what brought him down to the ER in the first place, Justin cornered Brackett.  “Doc?  Do you have a minute?  I need to talk to you about John.”

Brackett checked his watch.  “Sure, Justin.  Do you want to use my office?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind.”  Justin could see the look of curiosity tinting Roy’s face, so he added, “Roy, you can come too if you want.”

One grateful and relieved paramedic excused himself in order to follow the pair toward room 127.  “I’ll be right back, Billy.  Let me know if we get a run.”

zzz

Inside Brackett’s office, Roy leaned against the wall and Justin paced the floor, refusing the doctor’s offer of a seat.  Brackett leaned against the front of his desk, arms crossed.

“What’s going on, Justin?”  Brackett could see Johnny’s physical therapist and friend was bothered about something.

Justin stopped his pacing.  “Doc?  The respiratory therapist who’s working with John…”

Brackett held up a hand.  “Todd already called me about him.  Apparently he wasn’t pleased with the condition he found John in when he went to check on him just now.”

“Well, Todd didn’t hear what he said to him.  Doc, he was downright abusive!”  Justin’s hackles were definitely up.

This got Roy’s attention.  “He what?”

Brackett stood and walked behind his desk.  “Okay…let’s just calm down for a minute.  Todd told me the therapist didn’t take too much care in the way he had Johnny positioned.  Why don’t you tell me what else happened.”

Justin sighed.  “I don’t remember exactly what he said, but…I hate to say it, some of it was just uncalled for.  He was harassing John about not cooperating with his therapy.  Telling him he was wasting his time…”

Kel’s brows knitted into a frown as he considered what Justin was claiming.  “Justin, are you absolutely sure you’re not reading too much into this?  I mean after all, you and John are close.  Sometimes…”

Justin knew what the doctor was getting at.  There were times Justin needed to be slightly forceful and matter of fact with patients he was treating.  It was part of the job, especially when patients were reluctant to follow their therapy regimen.  Sometimes, he knew, it was possible to be misunderstood by family members.  But this was different.  “I’m sure, Doc.  It wasn’t even so much what he was saying, as how he was saying it.  He was raising his voice, condescending…he was treating John like a child.  And, when I went in, it was obvious how uncomfortable John was.  It’s no wonder he wasn’t cooperating.”  Justin didn’t even want to think about what might have gone on before his arrival at Johnny’s room.

Brackett appeared uncomfortable as he pondered Justin’s accusation.  “You realize these are pretty serious allegations.  If what you’re saying is true, then disciplinary action will need to be taken.”

“Doc, I’m being straight with you.  I’m not saying he should be fired, but someone needs to address this.”

Roy had stayed quiet long enough, his concern getting the better of him.  It pained him to think about his best friend being mistreated in this way.  “Did this guy even bother to read Johnny’s chart?  The last thing he needs is additional stress right now.  It’s not like he can really stand up and defend himself…”  The more Roy thought about it, the angrier he became.

“Calm down, Roy.”  Brackett assured.  “I’ll see to it that Johnny is assigned another respiratory therapist.  And, I’ll get to the bottom of what happened up there today.”  He turned his attention back to Justin.  “Was Johnny okay when you left him?”

“Yes, sleeping.”  After allowing the others a moment to absorb this relieving information, Justin offered a solution.  “Doc, I’ve been trained to do chest physiotherapy, which is really all this guy was doing.  John doesn’t have pneumonia, doesn’t have any breathing issues…”

Brackett’s face twitched as he considered Justin’s offer.  “I guess it would be okay if you want to work with him on this.  Johnny would probably respond better to you anyway.  I suppose we could try it.”

Justin felt as if a heavy burden had been removed from his shoulders.  “Thanks, Doc.”

“You’re welcome.”  Brackett headed for the door.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to speak with Phil Morrison.  He’s in charge of respiratory.  I’m sure there will be an investigation, so in the mean time, let’s just keep this under our hats, all right fellas?”

zzz

Three days later, Roy arrived at Johnny’s room before his shift started having stopped in Brackett’s office long enough for the doctor to inform him that he had spoken with Morrison.  Apparently the complaints Justin and Todd brought against Johnny’s respiratory therapist were not the only ones of late.  Roy was relieved to learn that the man had been placed on suspension pending investigation of the claims.  Justin would be taking over Johnny’s chest physiotherapy, unless he developed complications that were outside Justin’s scope of practice.  If that were to happen, a new respiratory therapist would be assigned.

Roy paused outside the door at the sound of a female voice he recognized as belonging to Hannah.

“I know you don’t, honey.  But, Justin said he can’t even start weight bearing with you until Todd takes care of this.”

Roy lightly tapped on door frame and was met with a smile from Hannah.  “Can I come in?”

“Sure, Roy.”

Roy stepped tentatively into the room and noticed immediately Johnny was not in a good mood.  He couldn’t blame him.  After all, he wouldn’t want someone carving around at the bones in his hip.  “Good morning.”

Johnny grunted in reply, shifting his weight as much as he was able to. 

Hannah looked up at Roy apologetically.  “He’s not happy about the surgery as you can see.”

Roy knew that placating words and explanations would only serve to make Johnny more surly, so he fished for something positive to say.  “I just talked to Brackett downstairs.  He said you’re doing really well, and that once this is over with, it won’t be long until Justin can have you on your feet.”

Johnny looked down at the bulky cast adorning his right leg and the soft brace fastened around his foot.  His left leg was still encased in the tight wrappings of a compression bandage and every attempt at moving it sent lightning bolts through his entire body.  He highly doubted standing up was in his near future.  “Yeah, right.”

Any further conversation was interrupted by Johnny’s nurse, Abby, who was pushing a cart with a special cardiac monitor into the room.  “Manning wants a 12 lead before he turns you over to Andrews.”  When Hannah and Roy made a move to leave the room, Abby informed them they could stay.  “This won’t take long.”

Johnny sighed and submitted to the application of the extra sticky patches required to obtain a comprehensive picture of his heart’s electrical activity.  He was used to this by now, having had one three times a day since he had been incarcerated in the ICU.  At least the last several days had shown a normal rhythm.  “What does this thing have to show in order for me to get out of this today?”

Abby smiled as she began connecting leads.  “I’m not sure, Johnny.  But, I think having the surgery is the better alternative, don’t you?”

“I’m not so sure about that.”  Johnny was decidedly grumpy.  “I don’t…”

“Shhh.  Lie still and don’t talk.”  Abby fed some information into the monitor and pressed a button.  A tense silence hung in the air for several minutes while she, Roy, and Hannah studied the readout on the screen.  After she had the information she needed, she tore off the strip of paper the machine had produced and began disconnecting the leads.  “Ok, Johnny.  I’ll get this to Dr. Manning.  As long as he says it’s okay, I’ll be back to get you ready to go downstairs.”

“I can hardly wait.”  Johnny didn’t mean to be so disagreeable, but over the course of the past several days, he had begun to feel a lot better.  Even though he knew it was for this very reason that he was now deemed fit to have the dreaded surgery, he didn’t relish the thought of more pain.

Roy gave Johnny’s uninjured foot a gentle squeeze through the blanket.  “I gotta get to work.  I’ll stop in later when I get a chance.  Good luck.”

Hannah assured Roy as she began to remove the patches Abby had left behind.  “I’ll call you at the station as soon as he’s finished.”

Roy nodded his thanks and headed out the door.

zzz

“John?  John Gage…open your eyes for me.”  Todd Andrews’ voice cut through the dense fog anesthesia had left behind.

Johnny was disoriented.  His brain felt fuzzy as it did its best to process the myriad sounds and sensations filtering through it.  Where am I?  Wasn’t I just in my room talking to Hannah?  He recognized the voice of his orthopedic surgeon and felt compelled to comply with his command, but found that his eyes felt like they were taped shut.  After an attempt at letting the doctor know this yielded no results due to a familiar parched mouth and accompanying aching throat, he tried once more to pull the heavy lids open.  Managing only miniscule slits, he tried to focus on the green clad figure standing over him.

“There you are.  John, your surgery is over.  You did fine.”  Todd urged an ice chip onto a spoon and slipped it past Johnny’s cracked lips.

That’s right…surgery… With recollection came salient pain that centered in Johnny’s left hip and moved in briery waves through his lower back, groin, and thigh.  His breathing quickened.

“I’ll have the nurse give you something for pain.  Just rest now.  I’ll be back later.”  Todd glanced at the monitors above the bed and stepped out.  It was then that Johnny heard another voice winnowing through the haze.  Hannah.

“I’m here, John.”  Hannah moved closer to the bed and clasped onto Johnny’s hand before leaning close enough for a quick kiss on the cheek.  “Todd says the surgery went well.”  Hannah decided to leave out the part of the conversation where Andrews had informed her the repairs had been more complicated than he had anticipated and that Johnny’s heart rhythm had become irritable for a time, likely a lingering effect of the contusion.

“Hurz…”

Hannah smoothed the perspiration drabbled hair away from Johnny’s eyes.  “I know.  He said you’d be plenty sore for a while.”  She looked over in relief at the nurse walking toward them, syringe in hand.  “Looks like you’re going to be getting some relief soon, though.  Go back to sleep.  I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Hannah waited until the medication had been injected and Johnny relaxed back into slumber before leaving the recovery ward in order to make some phone calls.

zzz

Roy arrived at the base station after dropping off a patient and learned that Hannah was sleeping in Brackett’s office and that Johnny had slept most of the day.  The last time Roy had been at Rampart, Johnny was just being transferred back to his room in ICU, so he hadn’t been able to see him.  After a quick chat with Morton and Dixie, he made his way upstairs.  A crashing sound coming from his destination caused him to quicken his pace.

He arrived in time to see Justin kneeling by the remains of a broken glass on the floor.

“Shit.”  Justin cursed under his breath as he quickly brought his finger up to his mouth.

Roy squatted down beside the bleeding therapist.  “What happened?  You drop a glass?”

Justin glared over his shoulder toward the choleric figure on the bed.  “Not quite…”

Heather rushed in next, having been summoned by the noise.  “Justin?  What…”

Justin stood up, examining his finger.  “Dropped a glass.  Everything’s okay.”

Heather looked suspiciously between the physical therapist and their mutual patient.  It didn’t take much to figure out what really happened, but Johnny appeared stable and calm for the moment.  She decided Justin knew what he was doing, so she backed off.  But, still, the man was bleeding.  “Let me get you a bandage for that.”

Justin waved her off.  “No, that’s not necessary.  I’ll take care of it in a minute.”

Heather sighed in exasperation and left the room, leaving Roy, who had already sized up the situation to address his partner.  “Johnny?  What’s going on?”

Johnny responded by looking away, his cheeks still flushed from his apparent outburst.  Roy could almost feel the storm brewing, knew that it wouldn’t take much to set his friend off again, so he decided to tread lightly, not pressuring Johnny to respond.

Justin intervened.  “He’s all right, Roy.  Just a little frustrated is all.”

Johnny’s eyes flashed with animosity he was powerless to control.  “Don’t talk about me like I’m not even in the room!”  He didn’t have the strength to shout, so the words sounded strained and tight.

Roy backed off.  “Okay, Johnny.  Just calm down.”

“Calm down?”  That was apparently not what Johnny wanted to be told.  “What do you know about it, Pally?  I hurt like hell.  I was feeling better until Andrews decided to start sawing away at my femur.  I’m so fucking sick of this…”

The rapidly increasing tempo of the blips on the cardiac monitor compelled Justin into action.  “Look, John.  I covered for you about throwing the glass, but if you don’t get yourself under control here I’m gonna have to get someone in here to sedate you…”

“Back off, Justin!”  Johnny noticed the blood oozing from Justin’s finger and a twinge of guilt rippled through his heart.  “Just…leave me alone.”

But Justin didn’t back off.  “I can’t do that, John.  Now, I know you want to see Hannah again before I take her home.  You won’t be able to do that on Valium.”

Johnny threw his head back against his pillows and ran his shaking good hand through his hair.  “Oh, God…”

Justin and Roy remained watchfully quiet, allowing Johnny a few moments to get his emotions in check.

After almost a minute had gone by, Johnny opened his eyes and eyed Justin’s finger remorsefully.  “Sorry, man.”

Justin moved closer to the bed.  “Not a problem.  Feeling better now?”

Johnny could feel his fury begin to bubble up to the surface again.  “Was feeling better…yesterday.”  His eyes were dark and fervid.

Roy stepped in now.  “I know you were.  And in a few days, you’ll be feeling even better.  I know it’s not what you want to hear right now…”

Johnny sighed deeply and closed his eyes, effectively communicating his need to be left alone.  Fortunately, his friends, though reluctant, knew him well enough to recognize his non verbal cues.

“Okay, John.  We’ll go.”  Justin waited for a response and got none.  “Can I at least bring you some ice for your hip?”

Johnny shrugged and kept his eyes closed until he was sure his friends were gone.  It was only then that he allowed the tears that had been burning for release to track down his cheeks silently.

zzz

“I wouldn’t go in there right now if I were you.”  Justin warned his superior who was coming down the hall toward them.  Holding up his injured digit, he added, “He’s liable to draw blood.”

Todd smiled at Justin, knowing that if something were seriously amiss, he would not be joking in this manner.  “What happened?”

“Let’s just say John’s not feeling his best right now, and he pretty much blames you for it, so uh…you might wanna duck when you walk in.”

Todd sighed.  “I knew he was going to be having a good deal of discomfort.  I really had to work to remove what was left of that plate before I could replace it.”

Roy wanted some more information.  He had been on the phone with Hannah only long enough to learn Johnny had made it through the surgery before being toned out on back to back calls.  Then, the additional facts he was able to glean from Dixie were fractional at best.  When the squad was busy, the ER was too, and she hadn’t had time to do much checking on Johnny.  “Did you have to break the bone again in order to do the repairs?”

“Thankfully, no.”  Todd assured.  “But I came pretty damn close.  Still, the surgery caused a lot of trauma to the joint.  I’m sure he’s having considerable pain right now, but his recovery won’t be nearly as lengthy or as difficult as when he originally fractured it.”

Justin nodded toward the open door.  “You may want to let John know that.”

“I intend to.”  Todd cast a wary look toward the door.  “Really out of sorts, huh?”

Roy filled the doctor in.  “In the worst way.  Doc, I know he’s frustrated and tired of being in pain, but I’ve never seen Johnny act like that before.  He was like a ticking time bomb.”

Justin indicated his finger with a wince.  “Not ticking…exploding.”

Todd eyed Justin with slight concern.  “Well, the medications he’s on have been known to cause emotional outbursts and mood swings.  Anesthesia can have that effect too.”  He moved in closer to examine Justin’s finger.  “He bite you?”

Justin smirked at the ill attempt at humor.  “Very funny.  Threw a glass.”

Todd retracted his previous assessment.  “Or, he could just be royally pissed off.”

“That’d be my guess, Todd.”  Justin agreed.  “He’s been through a lot…”

“Right.  Justin, you should take a walk down to the ER.  I think you might need a suture or two.”  Todd keened his head toward the elevators.

“It’ll be okay, Todd.  I’ll just go to my office and…”

“That wasn’t a suggestion.”  Todd’s tone left no room for discussion.  He exchanged a smile with Roy as the pair watched Justin mope down the hall.

zzz

Todd stepped gingerly into the room and noticed right away that Johnny was pretending to sleep.  His eyes were closed, and his head was turned slightly to the side, but the heart monitor above the bed did not indicate the relaxed cadence of slumber.  Deciding to wait and see if the paramedic would stir, he stood at the foot of the bed, reading over his chart.

Johnny heard footsteps infiltrate the small space of his cubicle.  Since there were two sets, he assumed it was Justin and Roy returning, and he did not want to talk to them.  He cursed his body for betraying him.  He knew they would not believe he was sleeping.  So, he spoke without opening his eyes.  “Go ‘way.”

Todd returned the chart and moved to Johnny’s left side.  “If I go away without examining you, they might make me turn in my doctor bag.”

Johnny sighed, knowing the doctor was not going to leave.  On some level, he also knew it was unfair to be ill tempered toward the man.  While he knew there were some surgeons who routinely performed unnecessary operations on their unwitting patients, he knew Todd was not one of them.  If he felt Johnny needed to have this surgery, then surely he did.  But, this knowledge did nothing to ease his distemper.  He turned his head in the direction of the voice and opened his eyes, but did not speak.

“I brought Roy with me.  From what I heard, I thought maybe I might need a witness.”  Todd teased in an effort to let Johnny know that Justin had done his job in reporting on his patient’s state of mind, but that no one held it against him. 

Johnny’s ears burned hot with embarrassment.  Of course Justin had let Todd know what happened, but that didn’t mean he needed to be happy about it.  “So I got a little upset.  I’m okay now.”

“Perfectly understandable, John.”  Todd leaned on the bed rail.  “Are you sure you’re okay?  How’s your pain?”

Johnny turned his face away again, his jaw tensing.  His hip was killing him, and now his other injuries were joining in the fray.  But he didn’t feel like admitting it.  He knew it was irrational, but it only made him feel more weak and vulnerable.  And he had had just about enough of that.  “Fine.”

Todd exchanged a knowing look with Roy.  “Mind if I take a look then?”

“Why ask?  You’re gonna do it anyway.”  Johnny gritted his teeth and allowed the blanket to be rolled away from his left side.  Todd was taking measures to only expose what was necessary, but the flimsy, hiked up gown and the catheter that still snaked away from an area just below his navel caused Johnny to feel naked and defenseless.  He kept his eyes closed, wishing he could just make everything go away.

Todd rested a few fingers lightly on Johnny’s knee as he visually examined his hip and thigh.  The whole area was bruised black and purple and grossly swollen, but Andrews had expected that.  The fingers of his other hand sought out the pedal pulse on Johnny’s left foot.  “Can you wiggle your toes for me, John?”  He watched until Johnny complied.  “How did that feel?”

Johnny simply shrugged.

“Any tingling or numbness?”  Todd spoke as he gently squeezed Johnny’s toes.

Johnny knew he would not be left alone until he complied with this exam, so he sighed wearily before answering flatly.  “Foot’s a little tingly…feels like it’s asleep.”

“Well, I suspect that’s normal.  I was working around a lot of nerves in there this morning, and I’m sure I managed to irritate a few.  It should go away within a day or two.”  Todd moved back to Johnny’s hip and peeled back the bulky dressing covering the incision.  “This looks good, John.  I was able to go in through the same incision I made before, so you won’t have any new scars to show off.”  Todd waited for the inevitable questions about returning to work, or when Johnny could be moved to a regular room, or when he could go home.  They didn’t come.  “I talked to Kel Brackett.  As long as you continue to do well, you should be in a room on the ortho floor within the next few days.  At that time, Justin can start working on toe touches with your left leg.”  He pointed toward Johnny’s casted right leg.  “In about a week to ten days, I should be able to remove that cast and replace it with a flexible brace.  Then, he can get you on your feet.  How does that sound?”

Johnny remembered the last time he had surgery on his hip, and the long recuperation that followed.  He was not looking forward to going through that pain again, but even more than that, his stomach twisted in dread over the prospect of weeks spent bedridden.  He had figured with both legs injured, he would be in for an even longer imprisonment this time around.  His mood brightened ever so slightly.  “Ten days?”

Todd smiled.  It felt like a black shroud was pulled away from the room.  “Yes, John.  Try to remember, this isn’t like before.  That leg suffered a lot of trauma, and I’m not saying you’ll be running any marathons for a while, but it’s not going to be like before.  You have my word on that.  Try to imagine it as more difficult than your recovery from the quad contusion, but less difficult than your recovery from the hip fracture.  This will lie somewhere in between.”

Right now, Johnny couldn’t imagine either.  The simple act of breathing still caused him too much pain to want to move.  “But, Doc…How am I…I mean, with both legs injured…?”

“This is why you’ve been assigned one of the best physical therapists in the state of California.  If anyone can figure that out, it’s Justin.”

“He’s right, Johnny.”  Roy took a step toward the bed.  “That’s for Justin to worry about, not you.  The only thing you should be concerned about right now is getting plenty of rest so everything keeps on healing the way it should.  You have a wedding to attend, remember?”

Todd stepped back after replacing the bandage and working with Roy to reposition Johnny’s covers.  “That’s right!  A wedding.  Please tell me I’m on the guest list.”

Johnny forced a smile at last.  “Sure, Doc.”  But, his relief was short lived.  An attempt at shifting his weight caused the deep ache in his left hip and leg to turn hostile and rocket through his back and then his entire body.  The instantaneous pain overload, while brief, was enough to cause Johnny to suddenly break out into a cold sweat.  Nausea rose up and overcame his senses so swiftly and cruelly, that there was no time to react, causing him to empty the meager contents of his stomach all over his gown and bedding.  Suddenly, hands were everywhere, and soothing voices penetrated the darkness surrounding him as he kept his eyes clenched tightly shut.

“…It’s okay, Johnny.  Take some deep breaths…”

Roy.  How many times is he going to see me at my worst before he starts wanting to run away?

“Come on, Johnny.  Slow your breathing down.”  Roy looked over at Todd then, knowing pain from Johnny’s sternum and rib fractures was probably preventing his compliance.

Todd gave a quick nod of approval.  “John, how about I send Heather in with some Tramadol and some phenergan?  Then, she can give you a bath…get you a lot more comfortable.”

The idea of a warm sponge bath and clean linens sounded heavenly, but Johnny wanted to see Hannah again before she went home, and he knew that wouldn’t be possible if he were drugged.  “Where’s…Hannah?”

“I’m right here, John.”  All looked up as the requested party entered the room.  Her eyes looked from Todd’s to Roy’s searchingly.  “What happened?”

“Pain and a delayed reaction to the anesthesia and morphine happened.”  Todd informed.  “John, I’m going to go get Heather now, okay?”

“’Kay…”  Johnny tried to allow Hannah’s soothing presence to erase his discomfort, but it wasn’t working.

Roy decided to take his leave now, knowing that Johnny was in good hands, and probably wanted to be alone with Hannah for a while before the sedating medications he was about to receive took hold.  He gently squeezed Johnny’s forearm.  “I’m gonna go, Johnny.  Billy’s waiting for me downstairs.  I’ll be in to see you when I get off tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah…thanks, Roy.”

Hannah watched as Heather came in holding a tray with two syringes.  She waited until the medicines were injected and Johnny began to calm before asking the question that was on her mind.  “Heather…do you think it would be okay if I gave him his bath?”

Heather smiled knowingly.  She knew it was technically against the rules, but she also believed strongly in doing what was best for the patient, even if it meant tweaking the manual once in a while.  “I think that would be all right.”

Hannah continued to rub Johnny’s forehead while she watched the nurse ready the needed materials, and lay a set of fresh linens and a new gown out on the table.

Heather moved toward her patient.  “Can you help me change this bottom sheet first?  Then, I’ll leave you alone.”

Hannah nodded, and together, she and Heather were able to roll Johnny enough to replace the sheet underneath him with a fresh one.  Then, fresh pillows were placed under his injured limbs, and Heather pulled the curtain, offering one more bit of instruction upon leaving.  “If you need anything, just hit the call button.”

Hannah carefully removed Johnny’s soiled gown and covered him with a sheet to keep him from becoming chilled.  She deposited the gown in the linen basket and then moved back to the side of the bed, picking up the sponge and squeezing the excess water out of it.

Johnny’s breath caught in his throat the moment the damp sponge touched his skin.  He savored the warmth, and allowed the soft kisses that seemed to follow its path to ease away any remaining discomfort.  Floating now, on a cloud of sedation and Hannah, he held onto the first truly pleasurable sensations he’d experienced in weeks as long as could, before exhaustion finally descended upon him and swallowed him whole.

Hannah continued her task, long after she knew Johnny was sleeping, until finally, she fed his heavy limbs through the arm holes of the fresh gown and covered him with it, making sure she had not disturbed any of his various paraphernalia.  Then, she smoothed the fresh sheet and blanket over him, and kissed his forehead, whispering a “good night” before slipping out in search of Justin.

zzz

Camarin tucked Rose into bed after her third trip out to the living room in request of a drink.  While Camarin knew it was a stalling tactic intended to get out of bedtime, she couldn’t blame the child for wanting more of the precious and plentiful milk Hannah and Johnny kept in their refrigerator.  Even Camarin had to admit she was awed that when it ran out, replacing it was as easy as a trip to the nearest convenience store.  She had just been on her way to fix a snack for herself when she heard activity at the door.

Hannah stepped into the kitchen and greeted her new friend.  “Hi, Camarin.”

Camarin idled to the door, and surreptitiously glanced through the window, checking to see if Justin was coming in.  “Hi, Hannah.  How are things with John?”

Hannah smiled as she noticed Camarin’s attempts at discretion.  The fact that she was attracted to her brother, and he to her, was as plain as could be.  Hannah wondered how many others had noticed it and were choosing to keep the secret until Justin and Camarin were ready to confess.  “Considering he just had surgery this morning, he’s doing pretty well.  He was in a pretty bad mood earlier…”  She stopped as Justin entered the kitchen, allowing time for him and Camarin to exchange greetings.  “But, he was doing better when we left.”

“That’s good.”  Camarin took Justin’s coat and noticed the bandage on his right index finger.  “What happened to you?”

Justin held his finger aloft and smiled.  “John’s bad mood.”

Camarin was slightly incredulous.  “Seriously?”

“Yep.  Everything’s okay now, though.”  Justin didn’t feel the need to concern Camarin with the details of Johnny’s outburst, or to embarrass Johnny further by revealing them.

Hannah hung her coat on the clothing tree in the corner near the door, yawning.  “I don’t mean to be a party pooper, but I’m wiped out.  I have three appointments to drive out to in the morning, and then my own appointment with Dr. Wallin.  I need to get to bed.”

“Not a problem, sis.”  Justin assured her.  He was aware of her OB/GYN appointment, because she had mentioned it earlier, but he had not been aware of the three veterinary appointments.  A prickly sensation crept down his neck.  Hannah had been taking care of the ranch, spending long hours at the hospital, and helping to take care of Kaya and Rose.  Now, apparently she was working again.  He knew he was being slightly old fashioned, and yes…maybe even a bit overprotective, but he couldn’t help but worry that perhaps she was doing too much.  He knew Johnny would feel the same way if he knew.  “I’ll give Tag a call and tell him I’m staying here tonight.  Someone will need to take care of the horses in the morning.”

“I already told Hannah I would take care of that, Justin.”  Camarin informed as she poured herself another glass of milk.  “In fact, I’m going to be doing a lot more work around here.  It’s the least I can do to thank Hannah and John for allowing us to stay here.”

Hannah spoke from the archway into the living room.  “Well, it’s like I said before…it’s our pleasure to have you stay, but I’m certainly not going to complain about the help right now.”  She yawned again.  “Well, good night, you two.  Don’t stay up too late, now…”  Hannah’s smile carried in her voice as she made her way toward her bedroom.

Camarin took a seat at the kitchen table.  “I know Hannah says she doesn’t mind us staying here, but I still feel like I’m taking advantage somehow.  I mean, at least Tag is working toward a job…”

“Oh, speaking of Tag…”  Justin interrupted.  “He has an appointment day after tomorrow to meet with Hank Stanley.  I told him I would take him over to the station.”

“Hank Stanley…that’s John’s captain, right?”

“That’s right.”

“He seems like a very nice man.  Seems to care about John a lot too.”  Camarin had noticed this during the passing moments in the hospital where she had the opportunity to meet some of Johnny’s 51 family.

“He does.”  Justin’s response hung in the air.  He looked across the table at Camarin, at the way the light from the hanging fixture above the table brought out the deep mahogany highlights in her otherwise jet black hair.  His body responded with need, and he quickly pressed it down, somewhat amazed at the effect the mere sight of this woman seemed to have on him.  “Are you in the mood for some fresh air?”

“Fresh air?”

Justin stood.  “As in a little moonlight walk?”  He moved behind Camarin and rested his hands on her shoulders, massaging them gently.

Camarin shuddered as Justin’s hands brushed her neck.  “Sure.  That sounds nice.”  She got up and followed him outside, down the deck steps, and over to the path that surrounded the corral and snaked back into the woods.  “I meant what I said earlier, you know.  I’m tired of feeling like I’m taking advantage of John and Hannah’s hospitality.  I need to start looking for a job and a place for me and the girls to live.  I made a promise to myself and to them that if I came out here, I was going to earn my own way.”

“I’ve been thinking about that…”  The truth was, Justin had been doing a lot of thinking about Camarin.  He knew that she wanted a job, wanted to make her way out here, but he wasn’t sure she had much grasp on how expensive rents and housing were.  It would be very difficult for her to find a job that paid enough to support her and the girls.  And he hated to think about the type of building they would need to live in in order to find affordable rent.  Sure, there was welfare and food stamps, and a host of other means of assistance, but Justin couldn’t help but think Camarin and her “daughters” deserved better than that.  And he wouldn’t have them living in some slum if he had anything to say about it.  Which brought him to the idea he had been concocting over the past several days.  He had been hesitant to bring it up, unsure if Camarin would even be interested, or worse yet, if she would be insulted, thinking that he felt sorry for her.  If she was concerned about taking advantage of Hannah and John, how would she feel about this?  “I’ve been toying around with an idea…”

“You have?”  Camarin was curious.

“Yeah…I found a school down in Chinatown where I can study acupuncture and acupressure.  Once I get through the program, I can actually get licensed to practice it.”

“Really?  That’s wonderful!”   Camarin was happy for Justin, but she was confused as to what this had to do with her finding a job or an apartment.

“It is.  But, the thing is…I wouldn’t be allowed to practice it at Rampart.  I would have to open my own office somewhere…and that’s where you come in.”  Justin hoped he sounded sincere enough.

“Me?  You’d want me to work for you?  Justin…”

Justin took Camarin’s hand in his as they continued their amble around the corral.  “No no no…just hear me out a second.  I wouldn’t want you to work for me.  I was hoping maybe you would work with me.  You know…like business partners.”

Camarin laughed, a sound Justin thought was more musical than the sweetest melody.  “I’m flattered but…what do I know about acupuncture?”

Justin stopped then and turned to face Camarin, holding both her hands in his own.  “Here’s what I’m thinking.  Herbalism and naturopathy are becoming very popular around here.  You know plenty about that.  We could open our own business, Cam.  Maybe have a store that sells different herbs and natural remedies.  You could work in the store, and maybe offer counseling based on your knowledge of Lakota medicine. I could have a small clinic set up where I could offer acupuncture and massage therapy.  There’s another field I’ve been reading about lately called reflexology.  I might do some checking into that too.  We could offer classes or workshops.  When you think about it, the sky’s the limit.”

Camarin was becoming very excited at this prospect.  She had spent most of her life waiting tables.  Who would have thought this poor girl from the reservation could have a shot at owning half a business in L.A?  It seemed too good to be true.  “That all sounds very interesting, Justin.  But, what about your job at the hospital?  And…wouldn’t we have to buy a place somewhere?  That costs money…”

“I would have to keep my job at Rampart, at least for now, until I see what kind of success we would have.  And yes, we would need to find a store front…but I’ve been thinking about that too.  We could look for a place that has space for the business and an apartment for you and the girls.  You could live there, and you could work in the store during the day when Kaya and Rose are in school.  We could get a loan to buy the place, and we could pay the mortgage out of our profits.  You would have a place to live, and enough money to support your family.”

“But…what if the business isn’t successful?  And even if it is…what do we do to pay the bills until we build up some profit?”  Camarin was wary.  She cared about Justin too much to risk losing him over a failed business venture.

Justin sighed.  He had been hoping Camarin wouldn’t think of these things.  But, as he had found on numerous other occasions, he underestimated her savvy and good sense…two qualities that would go a long way in creating a successful business.  “I’m in a healthy enough financial position to take care of things until we get things going, Cam.  But, if it makes you feel better, you can pay me back.  Or, we could look at renting a property for now, instead of buying.”

Camarin tried not to let herself get too excited, but she was finding it increasingly difficult to do so.  The thought of making a living using her knowledge and skills as a medicine woman was thrilling in itself, but the idea of spending every day working alongside Justin Quinn made her heart beat into overdrive.  Still, she couldn’t squelch the overpowering feeling that he was only doing this to make things easy for her.  She had never accepted charity a day in her life.  And she was not about to start now.  She needed to be sure about something.  “This all sounds really good, Justin.  But, I’m just not sure…I mean…I want to make my own way here.  You’ve got a big heart…and I’m not convinced this isn’t your way of trying to make things easy for me.  I mean, I appreciate it…but…”

Justin stopped Camarin with a gentle touch on the lips.  “Camarin…I don’t know what I need to do to convince you…don’t get me wrong, these past few days with you have been pretty incredible, and I would be lying if I said my feelings for you didn’t play into this equation.  But, the truth is…I was thinking about opening my own clinic long before I even knew anything about you.  What you could bring would only enhance and compliment what I’ve already been planning for some time.  The fact that it would help out you and the girls is just an added bonus as far as I’m concerned.  I’m going to do this, with or without you.  It’s just that I would prefer it to be…with you.”  Justin’s blue eyes stared into Camarin’s soul.

Camarin stared up into those eyes and saw nothing but love and desire there.  There was no pity hiding behind the irises colored deep as the sea.  Before she could offer an answer to Justin’s proposal, she felt herself being drawn into him, and the kiss that followed caused her soul to tremble.

Justin stood back, breathless.  “Is that a yes?”

Camarin reveled in her newfound freedom.  Deciding that life was too short not to take this leap of faith, and relying on the notion that the spirits had brought Justin into her path, she smiled excitedly.  “Sure…why not!”

Justin leaned in for another kiss that lasted longer than the first.  He found himself wondering if this partnership could turn into more than just a business venture, but then he reminded himself that he and Camarin had only been together a few days.  None of their friends or family even knew about it yet.  And what did they really know about each other?  Justin’s heart raced as he pondered how much fun it would be to find out.

The couple walked in amiable silence until they found themselves standing near the barn door.  Camarin wanted to see the horses, so Justin led the way inside.  Justin sat on a hay bale and watched Camarin speak softly in a language he didn’t understand but wanted to learn more about.  It reminded him of how Johnny spoke to the horses, but when Camarin did it, he found it…intoxicating.  Finally, desire got the better of him, and he found himself standing behind this woman who so completely took over his sensibilities.  He nuzzled gently at her neck.  “Mmmm…you need to teach me that someday…”

Camarin’s breathing quickened and she felt on fire.  “What?”  Her voice was a raw whisper.

“Lakota…”

Camarin whispered, eyes closed as Justin’s kisses forced her closer to the brink of ecstasy.  “Techihhila…”

“What?”  Justin managed between kisses which were becoming hungrier and more impassioned by the second.

Camarin turned then to face Justin, her hands moving with the need to touch him.  “Techihhila…it means…I love you.”

Justin’s body shuddered at the power of Camarin’s words, but only for the briefest moment that it took him to realize with certainty that he felt the same way.  “Techihhila…”  He repeated duskily as he laid Camarin down in the straw.

zzz

Hannah awoke early, and when she did not see Camarin in the house, she assumed she was outside taking care of the work in the barn.  After quickly whipping up a simple breakfast, and calling the girls to the table, she threw on her coat and headed outside to see if Camarin wanted anything to eat.  She was surprised to see Justin’s Mercedes still parked next to Johnny’s pickup truck, the only vehicle they owned at the moment.  Figuring Justin must have stayed to help out anyway, Hannah made her way to the barn, but her first look inside yielded no signs of her brother or her houseguest.

The horses snuffled at her arrival, and Hannah recognized their hunger signals.  Her muscles drew tight in alarm as she approached the stalls.  But alarm quickly turned to amusement at what she saw next.  There, cuddled under a wool blanket in the soft straw of the main floor hay mow were Justin and Camarin, sound asleep, the haphazard strewing of their clothing around the scene telling the tale of just what had transpired here overnight.

Hannah repressed a giggle, along with the urge to wake them up.  Her memory meandered back to a magical first moment she and John had shared in exactly this same spot.  Well, actually they had shared a couple of first moments out here.  Must be something about this place…even burning down the walls and roof didn’t erase its power…

Hannah almost did laugh when she thought of her and John’s literal first “roll in the hay” and how Justin had almost caught them in the act.  Looking back on it now caused her to smile despite the minor embarrassment.  Justin had not let on that he knew, allowing them to break the news when they were ready….and Hannah would do the same.  But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t engage in some relentless teasing after the cat was out of the bag.

Turning quietly on her heels, she made her way out of the barn and back to the kitchen.  She knew the horses would be fed and watered sooner or later.

zzz

A few days later, Justin dropped Tag off at Station 51 on his way to work.  He would spend the next 24 hours here as part of his academy training, and Roy would bring him home tomorrow.  Justin lingered around the station long enough for a cup of coffee and a short talk with the guys, but he was in a hurry to get to work.  Johnny was being moved to a regular room today, and he wanted to be there to welcome his friend to “his” floor.

Cap ushered Tag into his office and motioned for the boy to sit down.  Taking a seat beside him and leaning back in the chair in a gesture meant to show Tag he could relax, he took some time to talk to him before going into the day’s schedule.  “So, from what I hear, you’re doing very well in training.”

“I guess so, sir.  I’m really enjoying it anyway.”

Cap smiled.  “I’m sure they explained the probationary period to you.  You’ll be what we call a boot for a while, but I’m curious if you’ve given any thought to what your longer term goals are with the department.”

“Well, right now, I think I’ll be happy being on the hose.  Until I learn the ropes, anyway.  But, I’d really like to be trained as a rescue man someday.”

Cap’s eyebrows rose in appreciation and respect.  “Most of our rescue men are paramedics these days.  It’s not easy to get in…but if you’re really interested, I’m sure John and Roy would do what they can to help you.”

“Yes, sir.”  Tag nodded.

Cap straightened in his chair and rested his arm on his desk.  “I wanted to let you know…now, this is totally up to you…but we have an opening here at 51’s…on B shift.  One of our linemen just passed his engineer’s exam and will be transferring over to 8’s right about the time you’re ready to start your probationary period.  I’ve already spoken with Chief McConikee and Captain Hookraider, and the spot is yours…if you want it.  You don’t have to answer right now…”

Tag was thrilled at the offer.  He had already been told that successful completion of the academy did not guarantee an immediate station assignment.  “That would be great, captain!  But…I still need a driver’s license…”

“I told them that, and they’re willing to let that requirement slide a little.  As long as you work toward it and have it within six months.”

Tag was blown away by the generosity of these people who didn’t even know him.  “Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it.” Cap stood up and stretched his lanky frame.  “Let’s go take the grand tour, and then I’ll go over what you should expect for the shift and introduce you to the guys.”  He led the way through the station, explaining as he went until he reached the kitchen area where the rest of A-shift was seated around the table, talking.  “Gentlemen, this is Takoda Walking Bird, but he likes to be called Tag.  He’s the friend of John’s that Roy’s been telling us about.  Tag’s in his first month at the academy and receiving high praise from his instructors.  If things go according to plan, he’ll be joining the family here at 51’s…on B-shift.  He’ll start out on the hose, of course, but he has a real interest in rescue work and the paramedic program.”

Roy smiled proudly at this information.

“He’ll be spending the rest of the shift with us, so make him feel at home by introducing yourselves, all righty?”

The men voiced their compliance and went about the introductions.  After everyone had again taken their seat, Chet took an opportunity to welcome the new recruit in his own inimitable fashion.  “So…a new boot, huh?”

“Chet, leave him alone.”  Marco chided before leaning toward the young man.  “Pay no attention to Chet.  None of the rest of us do.”

“That’s right.”  Mike offered.  “Chet’s sort of like a bad penny.  He keeps turning up.”

Chet stood and motioned for Tag to follow him.  Then he placed his arm around the younger man and led him away from the group, glancing over his shoulder as he spoke.  “Don’t pay them any mind, Tag.  They’re just jealous.  See, they know I have a knack for spotting untapped talent, and I see it in you, my friend…”

Eyes rolled around the table as Chet’s voice droned on.  But smiles quickly appeared when Tag peeked back and made eye contact with the men, his expression letting them know whose side he was on.

zzz

Justin entered Johnny’s new room on the orthopedic floor quietly.  He did not want to wake his friend if he was sleeping.  The first thing Justin noticed was that there was no patient in the bed nearest the door, and the curtain was closed between it and bed two.  Justin smiled as the question entered his mind as to who he should be happiest for…John, for being lucky enough to score a private room, at least for now, or the person who didn’t have to room with him.

There were no sounds coming from Johnny’s side of the room, except for the heart monitor he still needed to wear, and a quick look told Justin that no feet were moving around behind the curtain.  Figuring the patient was sleeping, Justin figured he would drop off the issue of Wheels and Gears he had just picked up on his lunch break and come back later.

Moving the curtain aside produced a barely audible squeak, but it was enough to rouse Johnny from his light repose.  He opened his eyes immediately and slurred a greeting.  “Hey, Justin.”

“Hey, John.”  Justin took a moment to study the figure on the bed.  Johnny looked pale and drawn, exhausted, as if the move from ICU to the third floor was akin to running two back to back marathons.  Antibiotics still dripped into his central line, and he still had the suprapubic catheter, which much to Johnny’s displeasure would need to remain in place until his bladder was completely healed.  The splint was still in place on Johnny’s right hand, and Justin could see the fading bruises on his chest where the gown was knocked askew.  The small cuts on Johnny’s face and arms were all scabbed over now, and some were almost healed.  The leg portion of the bed was adjusted in order to elevate Johnny’s injured legs, and Justin stood for a moment, reading the signatures that were scrawled on the cast in multi-colored hues of marker.  Smiling, he picked a blue marker from the pack the nurses routinely left on the bedside table, and uncapped it.  “Just realized I haven’t added my Hancock to this thing yet.”

Johnny lightly tapped on the hardened material near his thigh, the metal splint on his hand making an odd clicking sound against the plaster.  “Knock yourself out.”

Justin picked a spot directly over Johnny’s knee and scribbled his first name with a flourish.  “I figure your knee is pretty much going to be mine in another week or two, so I may as well claim it.  How’s it feeling?”

Johnny tried shifting his weight, wincing again.  He could feel frustration bubbling.  He knew Justin would be studying his every expression.  “What, my knee?”

“Well, that…and everything else.”

“Knee’s not too bad.  Wish I could get this cast off, though.  It itches like hell.”  Johnny did not feel like elaborating on his other discomforts, so he didn’t, hoping Justin would not interrogate him further.

He didn’t.

Justin began raising the bed slightly.  “Think you’re up for some work?”

Johnny just wanted to sleep, but he knew the “work” Justin was referring to was what was going to get him out of here, to his wedding, back to the station, and riding his horses.  “I guess so…”

“How’s your pain right now?  Do you need something before we start?  And I want you to be honest.”  Justin’s expression and tone, while not patronizing, meant business.

“It’s not too bad.”  Johnny watched as his assessment brought a sigh to Justin’s lips and he hit the call button without another word.  He guessed that by now his friend knew him a little too well.

While the nurse injected some pain medication and took vitals, Justin flipped through Johnny’s chart.  “I was planning on working your arms and left leg this afternoon.  Then maybe tonight, we can work on your chest.”  He cocked a sideways glance at the spirometer on Johnny’s tray table.  “Use that thing today?”

Johnny had the deer in the headlights look.  “Uh…I uh…yeah…I used it.”

Justin rolled his eyes and tossed the instrument into Johnny’s lap.  “That will give you something to do while we wait for your meds to take effect.”  He pushed back the covers and started moving Johnny’s toes back and forth, moving next to his  left ankle, moving it up and down and around in circles.  “Does this hurt?”

Johnny shook his head no as he struggled with the cursed spirometer.

Justin waited until Johnny was finished with his prescribed number of inhales and exhales so that he would have his undivided concentration.  “Okay.  I’m gonna try moving your knee today.  It’s probably gonna hurt, but if it’s too much you have to tell me about it.”  Justin’s eyes moved to the cardiac monitor beside the bed.  “I’m serious, John.”

“All right…all right.  Let’s just get on with it.”  Johnny liked visiting with his friend, but when Justin was all business, it wasn’t as enjoyable.  Still, it was one of the reasons he trusted him without question, and one of the reasons Justin was so good at his job.

Justin rested his hands on Johnny’s leg for a minute.  He hadn’t even done anything yet when he felt Johnny’s muscles tense beneath his fingers, and heard a strangled sound come from his throat.  “What’s wrong?”

Johnny’s head was pressed back against his pillow, his eyes closed, and he was panting.  His left hand clutched the bed rail.  “Cramp…”

Justin moved closer to Johnny’s head and leaned in.  “Where?”  Memories of the severe muscle cramps Johnny had experienced following previous injuries caused Justin to summon a nurse immediately.  He pressed the call button.

Johnny tried to pinpoint exactly what muscle was cramping, but it was hard.  Intense spasms seemed to be simultaneously gripping his hip and thigh…and the lowest reaches of his belly and back.  “Hip…I think…”

Justin’s hands were already there, searching.  “Yep.  And it’s a bad one.”  He looked up at the sound of the opening door and asked the nurse to page Todd Andrews.

While Justin worked to relieve the tightening muscle, an idea popped into Johnny’s mind.  He tried shifting his position a bit and spoke through clenched teeth.  “Justin…my tailbone…”

“What about it?”  He noticed Johnny seemed to be trying to move, so he backed off.  Many times a patient instinctively knew what position would relieve his pain.

Johnny continued to try to relieve the pressure he was feeling in his lower back.  “I think…I think if I just…get off it…”  He groaned in frustration at his body’s inability to move the way he wanted it.

“Take it easy, John.  Let me see what I can do.”  Justin moved the bed rail down and helped Johnny move until he was resting slightly on his left side.  He grabbed some extra pillows out of the cabinet and used them to support his back and the heavy, unwieldy cast.  He breathed a sigh of relief along with his patient.  “Better?”

Johnny focused on the beeps coming from the heart monitor until they began slowing.  “Yeah…thanks…”

“Not a problem.”  Justin remembered a conversation he had with Todd when Johnny had been hospitalized after his assault.  “Have they been keeping an eye on your potassium levels?”

“Yeah…Brackett said…antibiotics can deplete them…so they’ve been giving me…pills.  Taking no…chances…this time…I guess.”  Johnny was relieved the cramp had subsided, but just that tiny bit of stress had caused him to feel as if he could sleep for a week.  Between that and the recently administered medication, and he could feel himself fading fast.

Todd entered the room then, and didn’t notice anything immediately amiss.  “John?  Trudy said you were having some muscle spasms.”

“Was…”  Johnny fought to keep his eyelids open.  “ ‘sokay…now…”

“His left hip.  He seems okay now.”  Justin offered.

Todd flipped open Johnny’s chart and studied it for a minute, paying particular attention to his last electrolytes reading.  “His levels are fine.  Probably just one of those things…”  He returned the chart and moved back to Johnny’s side.  “I think it’s just your muscles going through the healing process, John.  We’ve been through this before.”

“Right…Doc…”  Johnny was quickly losing his battle with sleep.

Todd smiled.  “Well, you look pretty relaxed now.  I’m going to order a muscle relaxant anyway, just in case.  I want you to rest, so Justin can work with you later.  And, you won’t be able to do that if that muscle keeps tightening.”

“I’ll get you some heat, John.”  Justin offered.  Then, he left to retrieve it.

Todd called Nurse Trudy back into the room and gave her his orders.  Then, he replaced the bed rail and gave his patient a light pat on the back.  “Get some sleep.”

But Johnny was already snoring softly.

zzz

Roy returned home after meeting Vince and an investigator from Johnny’s insurance company at the junk yard where Johnny’s Rover had been towed and was being stored in a secure area as evidence of a possible crime.  The police were interested in finding out who was responsible for cutting the brake line in such a way that it allowed brake fluid to leak out slowly, resulting in eventual failure.  If they were able to locate the responsible party, he would be charged with attempted murder.

Johnny’s insurance company was willing to offer money to assist in paying his medical bills, but no compensation would be awarded for the totaled vehicle until the case of who tampered with his brakes was closed.  Roy was not concerned about that.  Since the Rover was six years old, Johnny would not have received enough money to replace it anyway.  If the suspect was found, then his insurance company would be responsible, and Johnny would have the option to sue for any additional compensation.

No one had told Johnny yet about what had been discovered.  But, now that he was on the mend, Roy knew that sooner or later, he would need to be told.  He was hoping to have some answers before then.  He walked into the house, surprised to see that he had company.  Tag was there, along with Hank Stanley.  After greetings were exchanged, Roy’s curiosity got the better of him.

“So, what brings you over here this afternoon?”  Roy thought maybe it had something to do with Tag’s progress in the fire academy.

“Have a seat, Roy.”  Cap urged, his expression tight with concern.

Joanne poked her head in from the kitchen.  “If no one needs anything, I’m going to take Jennifer and Chris and do some grocery shopping.”

Roy called back to her.  “Okay, honey.  See you later.”  He looked at the three men seated in his living room.  Something was going on, and he couldn’t tell just what.  Cap was in the chair next to the couch.  He was looking at Tag, who was seated on the couch doing his best to avoid looking at Roy.  “Someone wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Cap leaned forward, casting a glance toward Tag first.  “Roy…Tag called me this morning and asked if we could meet somewhere and talk.  There was something on his mind, and he didn’t feel comfortable talking to you or to Justin about it.”

“Okay…”  Roy looked curiously at the young man who was fidgeting nervously on the couch.  “Well, what about Camarin?”

“Camarin was at the hospital this morning.  And, Tag really wanted to get this off his chest.  Right?”  He offered his young charge an expression of encouragement.

“Right, sir.”  He forced himself to look up into Roy’s questioning eyes.  He looked to Cap for help, receiving a nod meaning he had the floor.  Looking down at his hands, he spoke softly.  “I…I heard Justin talking to Miss Hannah.  They were talking about what caused John’s crash…said his brakes failed…”

“That’s right.”  Roy confirmed, not sure he liked where this conversation was headed.

Tag swallowed nervously.  “It uh…it wasn’t an accident, was it?”

Roy’s nerve endings stood on edge.  He looked over at Cap trying to read his eyes.  He knew that his captain was aware of the evidence of foul play.  “What do you know about it, Tag?”

Tag’s eyes again darted toward Cap.  He looked scared to death.

“It’s okay, Tag.  Just tell Roy exactly what you told me.”

Tag took a deep breath and shared what he knew.  “Back when we were…still on the rez…well, it wasn’t long after John came…do you remember Chaz, Mr. Desoto?”

“Call me Roy.  Yes, I remember Chaz.  He was your friend.”

“Well, not so much my friend.  He was a guy I hung around with, mostly.”  Tag suppressed his emotion as a memory of his mama flitted through his brain.  She had never approved of his relationship with Chaz, but had always had her hands too full dealing with his papa’s drunken wrath to worry about it much.  “One day…I overheard him talking to some of his friends…I heard him talking about doing something to John’s truck…”

Roy rose to his feet.  “You what?  Why didn’t you say anything?”  He looked over to see Cap doing his best to quiet him with a hand gesture and an expression that urged him to calm down and hear the boy out.  Roy wasn’t sure whether to be angry over Cap’s apparent protectiveness or glad that Tag felt the man was someone he could confide in.  With a heavy sigh, he returned to his chair.

Tag continued.  “At the time…I didn’t care much.  I didn’t know who John was, and I was kind of scared he was out to hurt Miss Camarin.  But later…I talked to Chaz about it.  I told him to tell me if he did anything.  He said he didn’t!”

 

“And you believed him?”  Roy watched Tag’s face, and his heart softened at the guilt he found there.  He knew without a doubt that Tag had trusted Chaz, the one person in his life who actually made time for him on a regular basis.  No matter what his actual intent, Chaz was there for Tag when no one else was, and it was obvious that at that time, Tag had no reason to doubt him.  After all, he rode in the Rover the whole way to L.A. If he had thought there was any danger, surely he  would have spoken up then.  “I’m sorry, Tag.  Thanks for telling us this.”

Tag got up and began pacing the floor.  “I heard what Chaz was planning and I kept quiet.  John could have been killed…We all could have!  Everybody knew I hung with him.  I could get in trouble too…and if Chaz finds out I told…”

Cap caught up with the diminutive fire cadet in two long strides, placing a steadying hand firmly on his shoulder.  “Don’t worry about any of that.  Chaz will never find you down here.  And I don’t think you need to worry about getting into trouble.  You’re helping with the investigation by telling what you know.  They’ll take that into consideration, if it even comes to that at all.”  He hoped he was right.  A criminal record could harm Tag’s chances of getting into the department.

Tag nodded, wanting nothing more than to trust this man who he respected like the father he never had.

Roy headed for the phone, digging a card out of his wallet.  “I need to call Vince and the guy from Johnny’s insurance company.”  He stopped long enough to plant an appreciative hand on Tag’s back.  “Thanks.  You did the right thing, Tag.  You’re gonna do well with the department.”

Cap added his own pat on the back.  “He’s already doing well.  Can already beat Chet’s time in the gear drill.”  The comment brought chuckles that effectively cut through any remaining tension.  “And…he wants to be a paramedic one day.” 

Roy smiled thoughtfully.  “You really want to be a paramedic?”

“Yes, Mr…I mean, Roy.  What you tried to do for my mama…I’d like to learn how to do that too.”

A sudden flash of pride surprised Roy.  “Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.  Johnny will want to help too.”

“Justin says he’s doing better.” 

“He is.  If you want, I’ll take you over to see him later on.”  Roy offered.

“I’d like that.”

“But right now, I need to make a few phone calls.  Why don’t you two help yourselves to whatever drinks you can find in the kitchen?”  Roy fingered the card in his hand, and picked up the receiver.

zzz

Several days later, Justin and Camarin walked into Johnny’s room together, knowing that Hannah would be there.  They were not really surprised, but delighted to see that Roy was there too.  They exchanged smiles.  One more person to share in their good news.

Justin planted a hand on the bedrail and shook his friend’s hand.  “So, today’s the big day, huh?  Todd’s gonna relieve you of this chunk of plaster, right?”  He tapped the cast on Johnny’s leg lightly.

“Yeah…you just missed him.  He said we’re good to start toe touches on my right leg tomorrow.  But, I don’t know…”

Justin understood his friend’s hesitation.  “Don’t worry, John.  We’ll take it slow.”

“And tell them what Kel said, John.”  Hannah urged.

Johnny sighed, hating to be the center of attention when it came to his physical well being.  “He’s gonna do a cystogram tomorrow morning.  If there’s no extravasion, I can lose this stupid hose.”  He fingered the portion of the catheter that snaked out from under his blanket.

“That’s great!”  Justin beamed.  “Then, we can work on getting you up and around.”

Hannah leaned in and deposited a firm kiss on Johnny’s cheek.  “And then you can walk me down the aisle.”

Johnny cocked a confused eyebrow.  “I thought Cap was doing that.”

Hannah slapped Johnny’s arm playfully.  “He is, silly.  You know what I meant.”

Johnny eyed the arriving couple interestedly, paying particular notice to the fact that they were now holding hands.  He directed his question toward his sister with a lofted eyebrow.  “So, uh…what are you two up to today?”

Camarin smiled at Justin, a blush creeping over her bronzed cheeks.  “As a matter of fact, we came to talk to you and Hannah about something.  Well, and to see how you were feeling, of course.”

“I’m doin’ all right.”  Johnny continued to try reading his friend and his sister suspiciously.

Roy moved from his position near the window.  “I guess I’ll go get a cup of coffee…”

“No, wait, Roy.”  Justin stopped him.  “You can be here for this too.”

Now everyone’s curiosity was peaked.  Justin decided to be merciful, and not leave them in the dark any longer.  “Camarin and I are going into business together.”

Hannah crinkled her eyes.  This was not the announcement she expected.  “Business?”

“That’s right, Han.  We’re on our way right now to close the deal on a piece of property we found down on Ocean View in Long Beach.  We’re going to call it New Horizon Health Alternatives.

“Really?”  Johnny was happy for Justin.  He knew he had long talked about opening his own alternative health clinic.  It sounded as if his dream was finally coming true.  But, he wasn’t sure exactly where Camarin fit into the equation.

“Yes, really.”  Camarin could barely contain her excitement.  “Justin’s going to be doing massage therapy for now…until he can get his acupuncture license…”

“Which reminds me, John.”  Justin rubbed his palms together, a mock-evil grin on his face.  “My assignment for this week is to find me a good patient to practice on…”

“Justin, you know I’m always happy to help you out, man.  But I draw the line when it comes to those crazy needles of yours.  No thank you.”  Johnny shuddered, coaxing a round of laughter.

Justin continued.  “Anyway…Camarin’s going to be working in the store, selling herbs and vitamins, homeopathic remedies, organic food, and other products.  And, she’ll be counseling people using the medicine she knows.”

“Huh.”  Roy looked thoughtful as he remembered the jars of herbal concoctions lining the counter at Camarin’s house back on the reservation.  And, he remembered as well how effective some of her teas had been at helping Johnny.  “That’s great!”

But Justin wasn’t finished.  “And the best part is…there’s plenty of room upstairs for Camarin and the girls to live.”

Johnny was relieved and happy that Justin appeared to be taking care of his sister, especially since in his current condition, he was unable to do so.  But, he knew Camarin didn’t have any money to front the obviously expensive mortgage on this property, and he not only wondered at Justin’s generosity, but he also felt slightly burdened with guilt.  He vowed to talk to him about it later…alone.  “Wow…thanks, man.  For looking out for my sister here.”

Camarin and Justin exchanged playful glances again prompting Justin to add, “There’s more.”

“There is?”  Hannah had been wondering when they would get around to this.

“Uh huh.”  Justin took Camarin’s hand in his own and took a deep breath before continuing.  “Camarin and I are…engaged!”

“You’re what?”  Johnny tried to sit up, temporarily forgetting his injuries.  Four sets of concerned hands helped steady him back against the mattress, two pairs equally surprised.

“Engaged?  That’s…well that’s…”  Johnny looked at the couple, trying to imagine just what went on the past few weeks.  “Are you sure?”

“Never been so sure about anything in my life.”  Justin assured, before leaning in and proving it with a kiss to his betrothed.

Camarin explained further, suddenly feeling like an impetuous teenager.  “I know this seems really sudden.  But, Justin and I have been around long enough to know exactly what we want.  And, I’ve never met anyone so…so…”

“Perfect?”  Justin teased.

“Stop!”  Camarin pawed at his shoulder, pretending to be angry.  But, then her expression softened, revealing years of longing combined with unshakeable passion.  “He’s my heartsong.”

Johnny was familiar with the term the Lakota used to describe the one they would love for eternity…the one who shared your very heart and soul to the point which transcended time and space.  This was definitely serious.

“And, she’s mine.”  Justin planted another kiss before straightening up and regaining his former composure.  “Besides, I figured it was time for me to settle down.  I’ve been on my own long enough now.  And with Kaya and Rose…we’ll have an instant family.”

“Well, that’s…incredible.”  Came the voice from the bed.  Johnny looked into the eyes of his friend and his sister, his heart soaring at the happiness he found there.  It was the same happiness he saw in the mirror these days, ever since he had found Hannah.  His face erupted into a grin that lit up the room.  “That’s incredible!”  He extended his hand to Justin for a shake.

Camarin took the offered hand too.  “I’d give you a hug, but…”

Johnny rubbed at his sore chest.  “Yeah, right.  Let’s take a rain check on that.”

Hannah and Roy were equally happy for the newly engaged couple and expressed their congratulations.  As questions and comments ensued, the conversation grew animated and increased in volume.  It was interrupted by a throat clearing.

“Ahem.”  Kelly Brackett walked in on the noisy fray.  “I’m glad to see our patient is feeling better, but this is a hospital.  At least try to keep it down, okay?”

“Sorry, Doc.”  Roy apologized for the group.  “But, Justin and Camarin just shared some exciting news.”

“Oh?”

“That’s right, Doc.”  Now that the cat was out of the bag to those closest to him, Justin wanted to shout it from the mountaintops.  “Camarin and I are getting married!”

“And they’re going into business together.”  Johnny added.

Brackett crossed the room and shook hands.  “Congratulations!  Seems you two have been busy.”

“We’ve been busy, all right.”  Justin eyed his bride to be seductively, earning him a reproach.

“Justin!”

After the laughter died down, Roy asked the next inevitable question.  “So, have you picked a date?”

Justin shook his head.  “No…not yet.  We wanna take things kind of slow…”

“Slow?”  Hannah laughed.  “You met each other less than a month ago and you’re already engaged!”

Camarin decided to help her fiancé out.  “What Justin means is…we want to concentrate on getting the business going.  And I want plenty of time to plan the wedding… just knowing we’re going to be together forever…that’s enough for right now.”  She smiled over at Hannah.  “Speaking of planning weddings…”

“Right!”  Hannah picked up Johnny’s hand and gave it a squeeze.  “I have to go with Camarin for a little while.”  She leaned in and kissed him.  “We have things to talk about…”

Johnny began whining a protest, earning him another kiss, this one more bewitching than the last.  “Oh, I think you’re going to like these…things…”  She straightened up and reached for her cape.  “I’ll be back to see you tonight.”

“I’m gonna take off too, John.  As soon as Camarin and I are done at the realtor’s, she and Hannah are going over to your place for a while.”  Justin noticed the curious look on his friend’s face and had to stifle a laugh.  “And, no I don’t know what they’re up to, so don’t even ask.”  Ignoring the rolling eyes of the females in the room, he added, “I’ll be back later to see how you’re doing without the cast.  And tomorrow…be ready for some work!”

“Yeah…yeah…okay.  See you later.”  Johnny watched as Justin, Camarin, and Hannah left the room together.

Brackett scanned over Johnny’s chart and returned it to its cradle.  “Everything’s looking good, Johnny.  How are you feeling?”

“Like I wanna get out of here, Doc.”

Brackett smiled.  There was no doubt Johnny was feeling better if he was this impatient to go home.  But, the doctor could see the tell tale signs and signals that meant his patient wasn’t feeling as great as he wanted everyone to believe.  “You’re almost there.  Todd will be here soon to get you out of this cast, and hopefully tomorrow I can remove your catheter.  Dr. Manning said he would like to see your EKG continue to remain normal for a week before he would consider discharging you.  And you still have another week to go on your antibiotics regimen. Also, you’re going to need to work with Justin to build up enough strength to at least get yourself in and out of a wheelchair.”

“So…you’re thinking a week then?”  Johnny knew the physician could not offer absolutes, but he was hoping for something to look forward to.

Brackett crossed his arms.  “Maybe.  If you continue to progress the way you have.”

Johnny picked absentmindedly at a piece of fuzz on his blanket.  “Okay…thanks, Doc.”

“I’ll be back in to check on you later.”  Brackett turned and left the room.

Roy approached the bed then warily.  He had news to share with Johnny and he wasn’t sure how it would go.  He looked back toward the door through which the doctor had just retreated.  “You know he’s only trying to make sure everything’s okay before he sends you home.”

“I know, Roy.”  Johnny continued to pick at his blanket.  “The truth is, I don’t really feel all that great.  My chest still hurts me a lot.  My legs too.  I don’t know how I’m gonna put any weight on this thing tomorrow.  And what if I fall…”

“Whoa…slow down a little.  I don’t think Justin’s going to let that happen.  And, it’s normal for you to still be having pain, Johnny.  It hasn’t even been a month.  It was a bad accident.”

“Yeah…Todd showed me the piece of metal they took out of my leg.”  Johnny shook off a chill.  “Man, Roy.  Did you see that thing?”

Roy blanched.  Yes, he saw it…a little too well.  He couldn’t get the image out of his head.  “Of course I did.  You were damn lucky, you know?”

Johnny cringed as a spasm travelled through his leg as if to remind him how close he had come to losing it.  “Yeah…”

Picking up on his friend’s discomfort right away, Roy moved his hand closer to the call button.  “You okay?”

“Yeah…”  Johnny grimaced and closed his eyes, concentrating on breathing, waiting for the cramp to subside.  “It just…gets really bad sometimes.  It’s okay now.”

“Do you need something for it?”  Roy watched Johnny’s face carefully for non verbal cues.

“No…not yet.”

Satisfied that Johnny appeared to have recovered, Roy abandoned the call button and took a step back.  “Johnny…there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“You opening a business too?” 

Roy chortled softly.  “No…nothing like that.  It’s about your accident.  It uh…wasn’t an accident.”

Johnny felt his heart skip a beat.  “What do you mean?”

Roy sighed and looked down at the floor.  “Someone cut your brake line, Johnny.  That was why you were having trouble with your brakes…why they failed.”

Johnny’s mind struggled to comprehend what Roy was telling him.  “I…I don’t understand.  Couldn’t it have been wear and tear?”

“It was intentional.”

“How do you know that?”  If what Roy was saying was true, then someone had tried to kill him.  It was like the assault all over again.  Johnny’s heart rate quickened.

Roy glanced cautiously at the monitor.  “Calm down, Johnny.”

“Calm down?  Don’t tell me to calm down!  You just told me someone tried to kill me for God’s sake!  What if Hannah had been in the car?”  Johnny was becoming more and more agitated, causing pain to flare in his chest.

Roy kept his voice calm and controlled in an effort to cool Johnny’s rant.  “I know…they know it was deliberate, Johnny, because the cut was too clean.  And, it was done in such a way that the fluid would leak out slowly.”

Johnny was at a loss for words for a moment.  He concentrated on calming down, but it wasn’t working.  “But…why…who?”

“I think I can answer both those questions.”  Roy leaned on the bedrail taking in the questioning expression in his friend’s dark eyes.  “Tag overheard Chaz talking with some other boys about doing something to the Rover.  This was soon after you arrived at Pine Ridge.”

Johnny shook his head.  “I don’t know, Roy…Chaz was a bit of a punk, but I don’t think he’s capable of…”

That was Johnny.  Always wanting to see the good in people.  Roy did not expect anything less.  “Vince contacted the Shannon County Sheriff’s office.  They sent someone to the reservation to talk to Chaz, but he wasn’t there.”

“Wasn’t there?”

“Nope.  So the sheriff talked to Chaz’s mother, who was able to tell him who some of his friends are.  One of the boys told the sheriff that he saw Chaz cut the line…that he tried to talk him out of it…and got beat up for his troubles.”  Roy thought about the conversation he had with Vince.  The boy, Chayton, was willing to testify against Chaz if he could be found.

“Dammit…”  Emotions churned in Johnny’s stomach, and anger burned hot behind his eyes.  He felt violated again, much in the same way as he had after Jonas had beaten him in his own barn, but worse now was the fact that Camarin , her girls, and Tag had also ridden in the Rover.  What if the brakes had failed after he had picked up Hannah and something had happened to her or the baby?  He tried to temper his understanding toward an underprivileged youth who had never been taught the difference between wrong and right with his disgust over how many lives he had carelessly and thoughtlessly put at risk.

Roy could read the conflicting emotions coloring Johnny’s expression.  “I talked to your claims representative the other day.  They’re going to treat your accident as if it was caused by an uninsured driver.  All of your medical bills will be covered, and you’ll get a check for the Rover’s blue book value.  The sheriff’s department up there hasn’t given up, Johnny.  They’re still looking for Chaz.  When they find him, you can press charges…”

“No.”  Johnny’s voice was soft but certain.

Roy had half expected Johnny to react this way.  “Johnny, you can’t let him just get away with this.  He needs to be taught a lesson before he has a chance to hurt someone else…”

“No, Roy!  Don’t…don’t you see how easily that could have been me?  His parents probably don’t give a damn where he is or what he does…that is if he even has any parents…”

“Johnny…”

“Do you know why, Roy?  Do you know why he wanted to kill me?”

Roy thought for a minute.  He supposed he hadn’t really given much thought to any deeper motive behind the troubled teen’s actions other than the obvious.  “Because you were different?  An outsider?”

“That’s right, Roy.  But it’s so much more than that!  Do you have any idea what it’s like to live in a world where you have to be afraid of anyone who doesn’t come from where you do?  To be raised in a world where you’re actually taught to hate and fear someone just because they’re white?  I lived there, Roy!  And even I can’t imagine that…”

“No, I don’t.  But…”

“What Chaz did was wrong.  And yes…I guess I’d like to see him learn a lesson from this.  But…you need to understand…he was afraid, Roy.  Afraid that I would hurt Camarin or would just start shooting people in the streets.  I can’t blame him for not trusting me, and wanting to protect his own.”  The effort of talking and the stress of this particular conversation were talking their toll on Johnny.  He was tiring quickly, and the pain in his chest was making it hard to catch his breath.

“I understand.”  Roy moved closer to the bed, and placed a steadying hand on Johnny’s good shoulder.  “But, sometimes a person needs to deal with the consequences of his actions.  Chaz will be a better person for it one day.”

“No he won’t.”  Johnny began to calm slightly under his friend’s touch.  “He’ll be thrown into a prison full of whites who will only do things to him that will cause him to hate more.”

Roy sighed.  Unfortunately, Johnny was probably right.  “There’s gotta be something…”

“Just…forget it…”  Johnny closed his eyes, and turned his head away, indicating he was through talking.  He realized now that there would be a part of him that would always remain on that godforsaken piece of land in the shadow of the Black Hills.  He hoped it was soon time for his next dose of medication, so he would be able to escape into the comforting arms of sleep…and forget…at least for a while.

zzz

The next day, Justin arrived in Johnny’s room shortly after noon for his physical therapy session.  He noted the food tray that had been pushed aside, the meal only half eaten.  “Hey, you’re gonna have to start doing better than that if you want to build the strength back in those muscles.”

Johnny made a disgusted face.  “Have you ever tasted that swill?”

Justin examined the food a little more closely.  “Swill?  It looks like Salisbury steak to me.”

“Doesn’t taste like Salisbury steak.  Doesn’t even taste like food.” 

Justin chuckled and flipped open Johnny’s chart.  “So, the cystogram went well…did Brackett get rid of the catheter?”  He moved over to the side of the bed and lifted the covers to see for himself.

“Yep.  And I used that thing twice already.”  Johnny indicated the plastic urinal on the table beside him.  “Never thought I would be so happy to pee.”

“Well, being incarcerated in this place has a tendency to change one’s perspective.”  Justin moved the covers away from Johnny’s right leg, and studied the hinged brace Todd had applied yesterday.  “How does that feel?”

“A whole hell of a lot better than that stupid cast.  One more day in that thing and I was gonna go crazy.”

Justin completely rolled the covers aside and began lowering the bed.  “Tell ya what we’re gonna do.  “We’re gonna do some toe touches with your left leg today.  After that, I’m gonna start manipulating that knee.”

Johnny cringed as an ache seemed to settle into his fractured knee at the mere mention of movement.  “Can’t we just skip that part?”

Justin finished lowering the bed and stepped back, placing his hands on his hips.  “Nice try.  But, you know as well as I do that if we don’t start getting some movement back, your joint will lock up.”

Johnny answered with a sigh.

“I also noticed in your chart that you’ve been having some muscle spasms in your lower back.  Why didn’t you say anything?”

Johnny stammered his way through an explanation.  “I…uh…well…I thought you had enough to do already.”

“John, it’s my job to know these things.”  Justin lowered the bed rail and helped Johnny begin the painful process of moving until he was sitting up with his legs draped over the side of the bed, both feet touching the floor.  He leaned over and placed a hand on the small of Johnny’s back.  “Here?”

Johnny shook his head, already feeling exhausted from the simple act of sitting up.  “Lower.  Down near my tailbone.”

Justin remembered the day he helped Johnny to move into a more comfortable position when his muscles were cramping.  He had mentioned his tailbone then.  “This has been going on since that day Todd started you on the flexeril?”

Johnny jerked as Justin’s hand found a knotted muscle.  “See?  You did know.  Can I help it you weren’t paying attention?”

Justin ignored the comment as he moved around to face his patient.  “I’ll take care of that when we’re finished.  Now…”  He rested a hand lightly on Johnny’s left knee.  “You feeling okay?  Any dizziness or nausea?”

“A little dizzy…think it’s just my pain meds though.”  Johnny admitted.

“Okay…whenever you’re ready…”

Johnny was confused.  He had done toe touches before with Justin, on more than one occasion.  But those times, he was able to stand, with Justin’s help, on his uninjured leg.  “Wait…how…how are we gonna do this?”

Justin’s free hand moved down to Johnny’s left foot.  “You’re gonna touch your toes to the floor and then, as if you’re going to stand up, just put the slightest amount of weight on that foot.  Only as much as you can tolerate for now.”

“If that goes okay, can I try standing up?”

Justin looked up into eager eyes.  “John…I think you know you’re not quite ready for that.”

Johnny rested his good hand on Justin’s shoulder for support.  “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”  He did his best to adjust his position in order to carry out the task his physical therapist had for him, and then gingerly allowed his toes to make contact with the cold floor.

“That’s it.  Now, just a little bit more…”

Johnny placed the flat of his foot on the floor and began leaning some weight onto it as if he were going to stand on his left leg.  Pain shot down his leg immediately, from his hip to his toes, pulling a long groan from his lungs.  “Ahh…shit!”

Justin was there to steady him, already having anticipated this reaction.  “Easy…give it a minute.”  He waited until Johnny’s breathing slowed and the death grip he had on Justin’s hand loosened.  “Okay…one more.”

Johnny hoisted an unbelieving eyebrow.  “One more?”

Justin was immune to Johnny’s ploys.  “Yep.  One more.  Then we can move onto your knee.”

“Oh, great.  More fun.”

Justin assisted Johnny through one more attempt, only this time, Johnny anticipated the pain the action would cause and pulled back before it could become too intense.  He leaned back on one arm, hanging his head.  “That’s enough.”

But Justin was not deterred.  “Come on, John.  You can do it.  One more.”

Johnny resisted the urge to mutter the expletive that rested right behind his lips, and instead settled on something PG rated.  “Damn it, Justin.  This hurts like hell!”

“Yep, it does.  And tomorrow it will hurt a little less.  And the day after that…”

“Okay!  Okay!  Let’s just get it the hell over with.”  Johnny once again leaned the slightest amount of weight onto his left foot, hissing in pain until he was out of breath.

“Breathe, John.”  Justin rubbed Johnny’s calf encouragingly.

Johnny leaned back, releasing the tiny amount of weight he had placed on his foot and the breath he had been holding along with it.  His entire body was throbbing now, and he was exhausted.  He only wanted to crawl back under his covers and sleep, but he knew Justin wasn’t finished with him yet.  “Are we done now?”

“With that, yes.”  Justin stood and placed his hands on Johnny’s shoulders, exerting gentle downward pressure.  He was happy to feel the tension draining away from his friend’s abused and neglected muscles.  Making eye contact, he explained what they would do next.  “I want to do some passive range of motion on your knee.  I’m gonna help you lie back down first.”

“Can’t we just do it now?”  Johnny just wanted it over with.

“Nope.  I want you to be lying down for this.”  What Justin chose not to share was that he expected Johnny’s knee to hurt a lot this first time it was moved since the accident, and he wanted him to be securely in bed in case he became dizzy or passed out.  He hoped that wouldn’t happen, but it was a possibility.  He helped move Johnny’s legs back onto the bed, then he replaced the rail and moved the bed back up to its original height before placing one hand on Johnny’s right thigh and one just below his knee, getting him used to the sensation of being touched there.  “I’m not gonna lie to you.  This will hurt.  But, if we don’t get this knee moving…”

“I know…I know…It’ll lock up.”  Johnny rested his head back against his pillow and closed his eyes, preparing for the inevitable.  He could feel Justin’s hands on his leg, heard him telling him to relax his muscles, but nothing could have prepared him for what came next.  As he felt his knee being bent slightly, it felt as though someone had just jammed a knife through it.  He tried using the relaxation techniques he had been taught, but this was too much.  The more Justin moved the injured joint, the more it felt as though the knife was twisting inside it, carving away at cartilage and marrow.  He broke out into a cold sweat as an expletive peppered cry tore from his throat.  “Ahhh!  Fuck you!”

Justin stopped what he was doing immediately and returned Johnny’s leg to its neutral position, slipping a soft pillow underneath for support.  Unfazed by Johnny’s verbal attack, he kept up a soothing mantra.  “Okay…relax…”

Johnny immediately regretted his words.  “S-sorry, man.”

“It’s all right.”

“God that hurt like hell.”  Johnny was doing his best to slow his breathing, because it was causing the ache in his chest to intensify.  Also, he felt light headed and he was becoming nauseous.

Justin noticed Johnny’s slightly gray color.  “Take some deep breaths, John.”

Johnny shook his head.  “Can’t…”

Justin placed one hand over the hand Johnny already had resting against his sore breastbone.  His free hand moved to Johnny’s shoulder.  “Try to relax…you want me to call Todd?”  Justin knew Johnny had just received his pain medication before their session, so a doctor would be required to order anything additional.

“No…just…stay here for a sec.”  Johnny was again reminded of the amazing power of human contact.  He had seen patients’ vital signs stabilize simply because he had held their hands, and now he remembered why.

Once Justin could see that Johnny had relaxed sufficiently, he remained where he was until released.  “You okay now?”

“Yeah…”  Johnny opened his eyes.  “Holy crap, Justin.  Guess I’m not as ready to go home as I thought.”

Justin stepped back and adjusted Johnny’s gown and covers.  “No, guess not.  But, you will be.”  He picked up Johnny’s chart and made some notations.  “I’m gonna go get some heat for on your back and some ice for your knee.  Is there anything else you need?  A drink maybe?”

Johnny’s stomach roiled at the thought of putting anything into it just now.  “No…thanks.”

Justin left the room and returned a short time later with the promised items.  He helped Johnny move in such a way that he could slide the heat pack under his lower back, and then he positioned the ice pack over a towel on his knee.  “How’s that?”

“Better.”  Johnny allowed the combination of hot and cold to soothe him.  He was beyond tired now, and knew sleep would come easily.

Justin leaned close to his friend’s ear.  “Get some rest.  Hannah’s coming over later, and she has something in mind that will make you feel even better.”

Johnny reached out for the slumber that was waiting for him, and Hannah…dancing through his dreams.

zzz

Hannah pushed open the door to Johnny’s room and placed the bag she was carrying on the chair.  Tiptoeing to the bed, she was happy to see that he seemed to be just waking up from a nap.  “Hi, handsome.  How’re you doing?”

Johnny suppressed a yawn.  “Better…now that you’re here.”

“Well, get ready.  Because in a few minutes, you’re going to be feeling really good.”  Hannah started pulling various items out of her bag, and setting them around the room while Johnny watched curiously.  She placed several candles on the window ledge, plugged a tape recorder into the wall outlet, and put a bottle of something on the bedside table.  She leaned in for a playful kiss, then pulled out a lighter, and began lighting the candles.

“What…what are you doing?”  Johnny looked toward the door.

Hannah seemed to float ethereally around the room as she lit the remaining candles and turned out the lights.  “What’s it look like?  I’m creating ambiance.”

“You’re gonna get in trouble is what you’re doing.  You can’t have candles in…”  Johnny’s words were effectively cut off by another, longer kiss that left him breathless.  His breathing quickened as he felt Hannah’s lips move down his neck toward his shoulder.  “Hannah…”

“Relax, John…”  Hannah’s voice was a sultry whisper.  “Justin’s standing watch outside the door.”

“He what?”  Johnny’s eyes darted to the closed door.

Hannah spoke as her hands moved over Johnny’s collarbones, tiny kisses following here and there.  “Camarin and I were talking, and she told me about some herbs that might help you relax.  She made them into a massage oil for me.”  She loosened the ties on Johnny’s gown and slowly pulled it down to his hips.

Johnny closed his eyes as a sudden chill passed over his skin.  “Okay…I guess a massage would be good…but, the candles…”

“See, John? That’s just what I mean…you worry too much.  You need to relax.”  Hannah started at the indentation below Johnny’s Adam’s apple and ran her tongue down his chest to his navel.

Sensations that Johnny hadn’t experienced in far too long caused his entire spine to tingle.  “God…Hannah…”

Hannah smiled as her eyes caught a glimpse of a subtle stirring beneath the covers.  She stood and moved over to the tape recorder.  The click of the play button brought with it the strains of some romantic melody Johnny couldn’t quite place.  The candles flickered enchanting shadows on the walls, and the next thing Johnny noticed was a dark, musky aroma that reminded him off the woods at night.  He turned to look at Hannah and noticed she was rubbing massage oil into her palms as she approached the bed.  His pulse quickened as she came closer, electricity seeming to emanate from her skin as she released her cascade of chestnut waves in one fluid motion, allowing them to fall soft against his bare skin.  He shuddered again.

“You cold?”  Hannah asked as she picked up Johnny’s left hand in her own and began kissing his long, sinewy fingers.

“Not…anymore…”  Johnny wanted to close his eyes and bask in the attention he was receiving.  But his eyes were drawn to Hannah, the mere thought of what she was daring to do here in his hospital room causing even more excitement.  And she was only just getting started.

Hannah started at Johnny’s fingers and gently massaged her way up his arm, stopping now and then to feather a kiss over his skin or trace the line of a well defined muscle with her tongue.  By the time she had finished both arms, Johnny was putty in her hands.  She unbuttoned her blouse and allowed Johnny to push it down off her shoulders as their lips found each other with an appetite that begged for satiation.  She moved away teasingly before he could remove the lacy camisole she wore underneath and tossed his gown aside before moving one hand underneath the sheet, delighting in the sharp intake of breath her actions caused.

“Oh…god…”  Johnny felt as though his skin was on fire.  His mind tried to wander to what would happen if someone came in and found them like this, but Hannah’s ministrations beneath the covers were far too distracting.  It had been too many weeks since Johnny had been pleasured like this, and he knew it wouldn’t take long.  He gripped the sheet with his good hand and moaned in unmitigated bliss.

Meanwhile, out in the hall, Justin stood with his back against the wall, and his arms crossed, doing his best to keep the smirk off his face over what he suspected was happening inside Johnny’s room.  He was startled by a familiar face who he thought had gone home for the night.  “Dr. Brackett…”  He stepped in front of the door, placing a hand on the jamb, trying to act casual.  “What brings you here at this hour?”

Brackett eyed the physical therapist curiously.  “I’m checking on my patient before I go home, that’s what.”  He tried to maneuver past the man at the door, but Justin was effectively blocking his every attempt.

“So late?”

Brackett sighed in frustration.  He wasn’t sure what was going on here, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it.  “Things got a little hectic downstairs, and this is the first chance I got.  Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Uh…Doc…”  Justin again sidestepped just in time to prevent the doctor from reaching the door handle.  “You uh…you really don’t want to go in there right now.”

Brackett stepped back again, flustered, and crossed his arms.  “I don’t?”

Justin cursed the blush that he could feel tinting his cheeks.  “No…well, you see…Hannah’s in there right now, and she and John are…well, they’re a little busy.”

Just then Johnny’s muffled scream could be heard from behind the closed door as he found his release.  Brackett mistook it as a cry of pain. 

“Justin, I need to get in there…now!”

“Uh, Doc?  I don’t think you’d be welcome.”

Brackett scowled.  He did not like playing games.  “Oh?”  A wink from Justin caused realization to sink in and the doctor’s eyes widened.  “Oh!!”

“Shhh!”  Justin admonished.  “Keep it down, will ya?”  He offered a devilish smile to the dark haired doctor and mutual friend, hoping he would let this slide.  He wouldn’t tell him about the candles.

Brackett cleared his throat.  “Well…far be it from me to interrupt…to stand in the way of…”  The doctor who did not normally find himself at a loss for words was tongue tied.  “Just have me paged when they’re finished!”

“Sure thing, Doc.  He’s sure to be quite relaxed for you…”

“Yeah…yeah…”  Brackett made his way down the hall, muttering under his breath.  “I’ve heard of alternative medicine…but this beats all…”

zzz

Johnny continued to improve over the next week, and today he was relaxing in the whirlpool in the physical therapy room, waiting for Justin to help him get out.  He leaned back and closed his eyes, allowing the very warm water and the series of therapeutic jets surrounding him to leech any remaining soreness from his healing muscles, which he and Justin had worked particularly hard this afternoon.  For the first time since he had arrived at Rampart, he was completely unfettered from any tubes and wires, so for a special treat, Justin had removed Johnny’s leg brace and compression bandage and allowed him this soak in the hot tub.

Justin draped two large towels over the chair near the whirlpool.  Then he leaned over to speak to his friend.  “Time to get you out of there.”

Johnny moaned in dissatisfaction.  “Aww, do I have to?”

Justin smiled.  “If you stay in there any longer, you’re going to turn into a prune.”

“Least I’ll be a happy prune…”  Johnny slurred, refusing to open his eyes just yet.

Justin checked to make sure the canvas straps on Johnny’s sling were positioned properly before attaching them to the lift.  “Okay, here we go.”  He flipped a switch and allowed the machine to slowly lift his dripping friend out of the water.  Justin glanced up at the attached scale.  “Looks like you’re down a few pounds, pal.  Even soaking wet.”

Johnny shivered at the rapid change in temperature between the water and the room.  “Y-yeah…well…all I n-need is a f-few weeks of H-Hannah’s c-cooking…”

Justin smiled as he lowered Johnny into the towel lined chair.  “Yep, that and a few more of her…special…therapy sessions will fix you right up.”

Johnny sat dripping and shivering until Justin draped a towel over his head and wrapped another around his shoulders.  “Th-thanks, man. C-cold in..h-here.”

“It does feel a bit cooler than usual in here today, but you just sat in a tub full of 104 degree water for the last 20 minutes.”  Justin rubbed the towel vigorously over Johnny’s skin, being mindful of his injuries. 

It was then that Johnny received the first indication that something was wrong.  A rush of nausea swept over him and he began to feel lightheaded.  The tips of his fingers and his face tingled, and he felt a little short of breath.  Figuring his symptoms were a result of his grueling workout, he figured he would feel better if he could just go back to bed.  He knew that would be happening in just a few minutes, so not wanting to complain, he said nothing.

Justin, however, was trained to pick up subtle signals in his patients.  He put down the leg brace he had been getting ready to apply and made eye contact.  “John?  What’s going on?”

If Johnny had known what was happening, he surely would have let Justin know.  “I…I don’t…”  The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was sudden pain gripping the center of his chest.

Justin watched in a sort of detached consternation as his best friend suddenly slumped out of the chair into his arms.  He lowered him to the floor and stared unbelieving for several seconds as Johnny’s entire body shook uncontrollably before becoming ominously still. It was then that Justin was finally able to get his bearings and call out.  “Hey, I need some help over here!”

Justin immediately placed trembling fingers at Johnny’s neck, feeling for a pulse, his own chest tightening when he couldn’t find one.  He watched as his unconscious friend took a deep, gasping breath followed by a period of apnea.  He looked up in alarm at the approaching therapist.  “Go call a code!  Then get back over here and help me!”  Justin tilted Johnny’s head back and breathed twice into his mouth, watching to make sure his lungs expanded.  Then, he hurriedly searched out the landmarks he needed to ensure proper hand placement for CPR.  He paused for the briefest moment when he remembered the still healing sternum and ribs, but then began fervently delivering life sustaining compressions, bile creeping up the back of his throat as he both heard and felt the bone give under his palms.  “Sorry, man.”

The other therapist reappeared and placed a pillow under Johnny’s shoulders to keep his airway open.  Then, he took over artificial ventilations.  “What happened?”

“Don’t know.”  Justin’s speech was tense and clipped.  “One minute he was talking to me…”  He looked toward the door.  It had only been a few minutes since the code blue went out over the hospital PA, but it seemed like forever to Justin.  He breathed an audible sigh of relief when Drs. Brackett and Early charged through the door, along with Dixie and Nurse Carole, who was pushing a crash cart.

Brackett pushed down his own shock over who their cardiac arrest patient was so he could begin barking out rapid fire orders.  “Let’s get him away from this water!  Get the paddles!”  He stood at the ready while Johnny was lifted onto an exercise table a few feet away.  “Justin?”

Justin stood back, shaking, running a hand through his hair.  “I-I just got him out of the whirlpool.  He said he was cold, then he just collapsed.  Convulsed a little…and I couldn’t find a pulse…”

Brackett offered a terse expression of encouragement before returning to his patient.

“Agonal respirations, Kel.”  Early accepted the defibrillator paddles from Carole and placed them on Johnny’s chest.  All eyes moved to the monitor screen.  “V-fib!  Let’s shock him!”

“Is he dry?”  Brackett barked.

“Dry enough.”  Early waited until the defibrillator counted off its necessary numbers, then delivered the shock, causing Johnny’s body to arch off the table.

Chaos gave way to silence and a chorus of relieved sighs as Brackett delivered the good news.  “Sinus rhythm.  Dix, keep ventilating until we see how he does.”

Dixie removed the bag valve mask from Johnny’s face and looked up.  “He’s breathing normally now.”

Brackett moved his stethoscope over Johnny’s chest.  “Okay, switch him to a mask.  Ten liters.  Carole, get him patched into the monitor, then get an IV started.  D5W TKO.”  He turned to Justin.  “Round up some orderlies to take him up to CCU.  Have Bob Manning paged to meet us there.”

Justin stood staring at his unconscious friend who only a few minutes ago was talking to him and looking forward to going home.

“Justin?”

Brackett’s second attempt snapped Justin from his daze.  “Right.”  He moved to the phone to make the necessary calls.

Johnny became aware of something smothering him a split second before he noticed colossal pain in his chest.  His hand immediately moved to his face in an effort to remove whatever was covering it.

Dixie intercepted Johnny’s hand and returned it to his side, speaking in comforting tones.  “Hey, Tiger.  Let’s just leave that there for now.”

Johnny’s eyes moved under closed lids at the sound of the familiar voice.  With monumental effort, he peeled them open.  “D-Dix?”

Dixie smoothed a few strands of hair away from Johnny’s eyes.  “Shh, don’t try to talk, Johnny.  Just relax.”

Johnny looked around, recognizing the therapy room.  But his mind couldn’t make sense of what was going on.  The activity around him, and the beeping of a cardiac monitor didn’t belong here.  “J-Just…”

“He’s here, Johnny.”  Dixie motioned for Justin to come over, trading places with him when he did.

Justin tried to control the shaking in his voice, reminding himself that his friend had survived this inconceivable close call.  “Hey, how are you doing?”

Johnny’s hand moved toward the source of agony in the center of his torso.  “Chest…”

Justin closed his eyes and swallowed down the bitter taste of guilt.  “I know.  Sorry.”  He wrapped his fingers around Johnny’s encouragingly.

“S-sorry?”  Overcome by insuperable exhaustion, Johnny dropped easily into sleep wondering what Justin could possibly have to be sorry for.

“We need to get him upstairs.”  The kind voice of Joe Early penetrated Justin’s fog.

“Yeah…okay.”  Giving his friend’s hand one final squeeze, Justin stood back and watched as he was transferred onto the gurney for his trip to the cardiac care unit.  Thinking everyone had gone, he whispered.  “What the hell just happened?”  Then, he felt a familiar soft hand on his back.  Dixie.  He turned to face her, ashamed of the tears filling his eyes, but helpless to stop them.

Dixie pulled Justin into her arms, allowing him to hide his face on her shoulder.  Witnessing a cardiac arrest was frightening enough, but when it was someone you loved… “He’ll be okay, Justin.  It’s a good thing you were here.”

Justin pulled back abruptly.  “A good thing?  A good…Dix, this was all my fault!”

“Oh, no you don’t!”  Dixie chastised.  “I won’t have you blaming yourself, Justin.  We don’t even know what happened yet.”

Justin paced the floor like a caged animal.  “I let him work too hard, Dix.  It was too much…too soon…”

“I think we should wait until Dr. Manning has a chance to examine him and run some tests before we jump to any conclusions.”  Dixie caught up with the animated therapist and placed a steadying hand on his back.  “Don’t you?”  Her eyes meant she expected no argument.

Justin slumped his shoulders, letting out his breath.  “Okay, Dix.  But…”

“No buts.  I’m going to go upstairs and see what I can find out.  You can meet me up there, but first…I believe you have a few people you need to call.”

Justin’s eyes travelled to the discarded IV packaging and other trash littering the floor near the therapy table.  “Yeah…right.”  He waited until Dixie was gone, then walked over and picked up the discarded materials, depositing them in the nearest waste can.  The comfort of this familiar room was gone, and instead it suddenly felt sinister.  He sat down heavily in a chair and rested his head in his hands thinking back over today’s session with John.  Was there something he missed?  Had John given any indication that he wasn’t feeling right?  Justin couldn’t think of anything.  Finally he stood up and retrieved Johnny’s leg brace.  Slinging his friend’s gym bag over his shoulder and carrying the brace, he made his way to his office in a haze, doing his best to ignore the accusatory glares he was seeing on the faces of everyone he passed by. 

zzz

“Los Angeles County Fire Department, Fireman Kelly speaking.”

“Chet?  It’s Justin.  Let me talk to Roy, please.”

Chet could feel the unmistakable talons of dread grip him by the throat.  There was something off about Justin.  Normally he would chat with him a little before asking to be handed off to Roy or someone else.  “What’s up?  Johnny okay?”

Justin gripped the phone a little tighter and closed his eyes, willing the pounding in his head to abate.  He knew Chet meant well…that he cared about his friend, but Justin was in a hurry to get to CCU.  “Chet, please.  Just put Roy on the phone.”

“Okay, man.  Hang on…”  Now Chet was really worried.  He walked over to the door and called out into the apparatus bay where he last saw Roy, waxing the squad.  “Roy!  Phone!”

Roy handed his cloth to Billy and wiped his hands on his pants.  When he got to the door, he shot Chet a “this better be on the up and up” look.  Roy knew without Chet’s favorite pigeon around, any of the A-shift crew were susceptible to his boredom.  “Who is it?”

“It’s Justin.  Man, something must be up.  He sounded really upset.”  Chet stepped aside, allowing Roy through the door.

“Is it Johnny?”

Chet shrugged, both hands in his pockets.  “He didn’t say.”  He waited for Roy to pick up the phone, then he remained hovering near the receiver, hoping to be able to hear. 

Cap walked in at that moment and admonished the concerned phantom.  “Kelly, let’s give Roy a little privacy, shall we?”

“Aww, but Cap!”

A stern expression and a jerk of the captain’s thumb sent Chet on his way.  Cap followed on his heels after lofting a questioning eyebrow at the paramedic holding the phone.

“I don’t know, Cap.”  Roy offered as Cap left the room.  Then, he spoke into the receiver. “Justin?”

“Hey, Roy…do you know where Hannah is?  I tried to call her at home…”

Chet was right.  Justin did not sound right.  “Hannah’s doing some wedding shopping with Jo and Camarin.  You didn’t know?”

“Oh, that’s right.  Guess I forgot.”

Roy wanted to believe the only reason Justin had called was because he was trying to reach Hannah.  But that left him wondering why he was trying to call Hannah.  “What’s going on?”

Justin took a deep breath.  He couldn’t believe what he was about to say.  “John went into cardiac arrest at the end of our therapy session.”

“He what?”  Roy’s exclamation summoned Cap who stood at the door offering silent support.  “What happened?”

Justin thought Roy sounded like he was angry at him.  He supposed he should be.  “I-I don’t know.  I just got him out of the whirlpool.  He was talking to me, Roy.  He seemed fine.  Then, the next thing I knew…he was…he was…”

A memory of Johnny going into cardiac arrest in the ER after his hit and run accident crept into the forefront of Roy’s mind.  It was the most awful experience of his life, and he fully understood why Justin was having trouble explaining it.  But, that had been different, almost expected.  This was so out of the blue.  Johnny was going to be discharged in a day or two.  Anxiety seized him.  “Justin, is he…”

“He’s alive, Roy.  They took him up to CCU, and that’s about all I know.  I need to get up there.”

Roy felt relief wash over him like a monsoon.  “Okay, right.  Listen, go be with Johnny.  I’ll get a hold of Hannah.  I’ll be in next time we get a run.”

“Okay.”

“Keep me posted, all right?”

“Yeah…sorry, Roy.”

Justin’s comment confused Roy.  “Sorry?  What for?”

“I…I don’t know.  I’ll uh…talk to you later.”  Justin hung up the phone, abruptly ending the conversation.  After scrubbing his hands over his eyes, he looked up and startled slightly at the sight of his superior and friend.  “Todd.”

Todd Andrews had received a page to the CCU and like everyone else was surprised to learn John Gage had been taken there and why.  Dixie had filled him in on what Justin was feeling.  “I just came from cardiac care.  John’s a bit groggy and in some pain, but he’s doing fine.  I just came to get his brace so I can put it back on…”

“Go ahead and get it over with, Todd.”  Justin challenged his boss.

Todd had a feeling he knew what this was about, but he feigned ignorance.  “Get what over with?”

“You’re going to fire me.  Just do it now.” 

Todd squatted down so he was eye to eye with his friend.  “Now listen here, Justin.  I am not going to fire you.  Why would you even think that?”

“Because I let friendship get in the way, Todd.  I wasn’t thinking.  John wanted to really push himself today, and I let him.  Then, I went and shocked his system…taking him from that hot water to the air conditioned gym.  I know better…”

Todd stood up and leaned against Justin’s desk.  “I didn’t get a chance to talk to Dr. Manning.  He was busy running some tests.  But, I did talk to Kel Brackett.  He seems to think Bob is going to find this was a result of the injury to his heart…”

Justin rose to his feet.  “Which is all the more reason I should have been more careful!  Don’t even argue with me on this, Todd.  You know I’m right.”

“What I know is that your quick thinking and cool head probably saved John’s life.  When this is all said and done, John’s not going to be blaming you.  He’s going to be thanking you.”

“Todd…”

Todd placed a firm hand on Justin’s shoulder.  “Face it, Justin.  You did well.  You were presented with an extremely stressful and unexpected emergency situation, and you reacted with poise and expertise.  John’s going to live to see Hannah walk down the aisle, to see their baby being born, because you…did all the right things.”

Justin flopped down in his chair.  “Then why do I feel like I did everything wrong?”

“Because, Justin, you’re a perfectionist.  It’s one of the reasons you’re so good at what you do, but it can cause you to beat yourself up when something unforeseen happens, like what happened this afternoon.”

Justin said nothing as he stared down at the floor.

“Now, you can go on believing that what happened down there was all your fault, or you can accept the fact that you just saved your friend’s life.  Personally, I prefer the latter.  But, it’s up to you.”

Suddenly uncomfortable with this conversation, Justin changed the subject.  “Did you get a chance to examine him?  I could feel…his sternum…”

Todd had already been filled in about the probability that the necessary CPR had caused more trauma to Johnny’s healing chest.  “Bob ordered a chest X-ray and a CT.  I haven’t had a chance to view them yet.  I’m sure the compressions caused some damage, but Justin, you had no choice.”

Justin sighed and shook his head moving one hand to the back of his neck.  This was all so unreal.

Todd smiled and picked up the leg brace that rested on a chair beside the door.  “Come on.  Let’s go see John.”

zzz

Johnny tried to make sense of the activity around him.  The last thing he remembered was working out with Justin.  They had been talking about plans to watch the Lakers game on TV this weekend while the women did…well, whatever it was women got together and did to prepare for a wedding.  He couldn’t figure out where he was, and the fragmented snatches of conversation he was able to pick out scared him.  Voices intruded in and out of his groggy awareness.  Brackett…Early…Andrews…but there was one less familiar that seemed to be doing most of the talking.  Johnny thought he recognized the deep, commanding voice, but he couldn’t remember who it belonged to.  A cold pressure against his sensitive chest rocked him from his thoughts, causing him to protest weakly.  He tried raising a hand to block whatever was causing this increased torment, but something was holding them down, or so he thought.

Noticing his patient’s distress, Robert Manning pulled his stethoscope away for a moment, and leaned in.  “Sorry, John.  I know you’re pretty tender there, but I need to listen.”  Frowning at his patient’s lack of response, he warmed the diaphragm against his lab coat and pressed it just to the right of Johnny’s sternum, wincing in sympathy at the hiss of discomfort it caused.

Tender?  God…what happened?  Feels like someone stuck an ice pick through my heart.  Johnny tried to voice his thoughts, but he couldn’t get his indolent mouth to obey, except to allow a dissenting moan each time he could gather enough breath.  Frustrated, he grappled at the sheet underneath him, having no choice but to submit to his torture. 

“Five milligrams MS IV.  Let’s take the edge off this pain.”

Thank the spirits…Finally!  Johnny struggled to open his eyes, and the owner of the familiar voice came into muzzy view.  Manning?  What the hell…

Manning was too distracted and busy to notice the uncomprehending fear shading his patient’s eyes, so Brackett, who had been standing back observing, stepped in, wrapping his fingers reassuringly around Johnny’s left hand.  “Johnny?  Can you talk to me?”

It took great resolution, but Johnny needed some answers, and as proficient a doctor as Kelly Brackett was, he doubted he had perfected the ability to read minds.  “Uh…wha…”  What happened, dammit!

“What’s the last thing you remember, Johnny?”

Okay.  Maybe he CAN read minds.  “I…uh…working…Justin…”

Brackett exchanged a look with Manning, who had been busy studying Johnny’s most recent 12 lead EKG.  “Do you remember being in the whirlpool?”

Whirlpool?  “No…”  The deep voice was off to his right now.  Echocardiogram…EP study…coronary angiogram…coronary angiogram??

Brackett’s frown made way for a distinctive, concerned twitch.  There was no easy way to tell Johnny this, but he needed to know.  And he figured it would be better coming from him.    The only factor making this news slightly easier to deliver was the fact that he so rarely had the opportunity to talk to the patient afterwards.  It was a rare miracle when a patient actually survived a cardiac arrest, and Johnny had beaten those odds on more than one occasion.  “Johnny…”  The doctor leaned into Johnny’s line of sight, waiting to continue until he was sure the younger man was looking at him.  “You spent some time in the whirlpool after your PT session.  Within minutes after Justin got you out of the water, you suffered a cardiac arrest.”

Johnny’s eyes widened, then blinked in disbelief.  “What…”

“Justin started CPR right away, and you were only down for a few minutes.  You were in V-fib, and we had to defibrillate one time.  Between that and the compressions…that’s why your chest hurts so much.”

 Johnny struggled to make sense of what Brackett was telling him.  It couldn’t be.  He was going home, wasn’t he?  “God…why…”

Manning returned to the side of Johnny’s bed now, and did his best to allay the fears that were causing his patient’s heart rate to increase…exactly what he didn’t need.  “John, this happens sometimes following trauma to the heart.  We’re not exactly sure why, but sometimes...well, think of it as a short circuit or a misfire.  Chances are there were some subtle EKG changes several hours before it occurred, so we’ll keep you on a monitor continuously for a while.  I’ve ordered all of the standard cardiac tests just to rule out any other problems, but I’m almost certain this is what happened. We also need to be sure the CPR itself didn’t cause any additional trauma to your heart.”

Brackett felt Johnny’s grip increase around his fingers, and he could read the unanswered questions in his eyes.  He looked across the bed at his colleague.  “Bob, what are the chances it will happen again?”

Manning nodded, understanding.  He directed his answer to his patient, rather than to the man who voiced the question.  “John, I would bet money this was a fluke.  Of course I can’t be absolutely certain, but I don’t think it will happen again.  Okay?”

Johnny closed his eyes, not feeling the confidence Manning’s words were meant to instill, but unable to hold them open any longer.  Between fatigue and the recently administered morphine, Johnny felt on the verge of collapse.  But he was afraid to go to sleep, for fear he wouldn’t wake up again.  Forcing his eyes back open was almost impossible, but he managed it…for a few seconds…before the lids grew heavy again.

Manning recognized what Johnny was trying to do.  He had seen if before, many times.  “Go ahead and get some rest, John.  I’m going to be doing an echocardiogram, and after we get the results of your CT and chest films, you’ll be headed down to the cath lab for an angiogram…”  Realizing his explanation achieved the intended effect, he smiled up at Brackett.  “Nothing like a good old fashioned speech to bore a patient to sleep.”

Brackett returned the smile as he stepped back, crossing his arms.  “Well, if I know John Gage, he’ll be full of questions when he wakes up, so you better be prepared.”

Manning studied the other doctor’s face for a moment, and realized he saw more than simple doctor/patient concern there.  “He’ll be fine, Kel.  It happens…”

“I know it does, Bob!”  The words blurted out more forcefully than Brackett had intended.  He motioned for the other man to join him outside the cubicle, where he lowered his voice.  “I know it does…but…he was going to be released in two days.  What if this had happened when he was home alone with his fiancée…fifteen minutes away from the nearest paramedic unit?”

Manning sighed.  He had considered that.  “But, it didn’t, Kel…”

“How sure can you be that it won’t happen again?  And what about later when he wants to return to work?  He can’t be released for duty if there’s any possibility that this could happen in the middle of a rescue.”

“I can’t be absolutely sure it won’t happen again.  You know that.  Which is why I’ll send him home with a cardiac monitor.  Whoever is staying with him should be CPR certified, or at least know how to do it.  As for work…that’s months away, Kel.  By that time, any remaining effects of the contusion should be long resolved.”

“Should be.”  Brackett frowned.

“By that time there will be no more risk than a firefighter who’s working while brewing an unexpected MI.  Actually, there will be less.  I’m sure the tests will show that John did not suffer an infarction, nor will they show any risk factors for one.  It’s an injury, Kel.  Plain and simple.  And it just needs time to heal.”  Manning knew he wasn’t telling his colleague anything he didn’t already know, but he respected that there were times a person, especially a friend, just needed to hear the facts spelled out.

“I know you’re right, Bob.  But I also know a lot of people, including Johnny, who will have these same concerns...”

“And rightfully so.  And, I have a feeling at least a few of them are going to be trouncing in here any minute now, so why don’t you see if you can head them off at the pass and let me complete these tests, so we have answers for them when they get here?”  Manning smiled as he looked past Brackett at the two figures walking down the hall toward them.  “See?  It’s starting already.”  He turned and re-entered Johnny’s cubicle.

Brackett turned around to see who was coming.  He greeted Todd Andrews and allowed him to pass on his way into Johnny’s room, but he stopped Justin with a gentle grab to the upper arm.  “Manning’s busy with him right now.  Let’s go down to the lounge, and I’ll fill you in.”

Justin nodded and followed the doctor down the hall.

zzz

A few hours later, Hannah and Camarin stepped off the elevator on the orthopedic floor.  They needed some answers, and they reasoned they would have more success speaking with Justin than with the unfamiliar and busy nurses in CCU.  Roy had finally been able to call Joanne after the shopping trip, but he had only been able to supply the information Justin had called him with after speaking with Johnny’s doctors earlier.  It had been a busy afternoon, and Roy had not yet been able to stop in himself to see his friend.

Justin had just left a patient’s room when he saw the somewhat harried women walking toward him.  “Come on back to my office with me.”

Hannah was worried.  Justin was not his usual bubbly self, not that she had really expected him to be, but the fact that he wasn’t offering any information in the hallway caused her to feel sick.  She respected his wishes to wait, and remained quiet as she followed him to the small, windowless room at the end of the corridor.  But once she crossed the threshold, all bets were off.  “Justin, what’s going on?”

Justin motioned for the women to sit down.  Camarin took a seat in one of the office chairs, but Hannah chose to remain standing.  “Roy called you, right?”

Hannah was well aware that Justin would be blaming himself for what had happened to Johnny, so she chose her words carefully.  “Yes, he did, Justin.  And he said John was okay.”  She noticed Justin’s downcast eyes and anxiety burned in her stomach.  “He is okay, right?”

Justin moved closer to Hannah, his expression causing her to believe there was more bad news to deliver.

Hannah turned away from him then, tears stinging her eyes.  “Oh God, Justin.  Just tell me he’s all right.”

Justin ran a hand down over his face and glanced over at Camarin.  “He’s all right.  All of his tests came back negative as far as there being any indication of a permanent or irreversible heart condition.  Manning is sure what happened is a result of the original injury…”

Hannah turned then and practically fell into her brother’s arms, tears of stress intermingling with ones of relief.  “Thank God you were there.  I keep thinking…what if this had happened a few days from now…”

Justin spoke as he smoothed Hannah’s hair.  “I know…I know…I keep thinking about that too.”  He didn’t share that he also couldn’t stop thinking about the signals he surely must have missed.  Manning said Johnny’s EKG was probably abnormal for several hours beforehand.  Justin was convinced there should have been a way to prevent this, if only he could put his finger on what.  “But, it didn’t...”

Hannah pulled back.  “But, what if it happens again?”

“Manning doesn’t think it will.”

“Doesn’t think…there’s no way to know for sure.”  Hannah knew about injuries to the heart.  Sure, some of her patients’ hearts were formed a bit differently than her fiancé’s, but she knew Johnny’s doctor would not be able to offer absolutes.

“No, there’s no way to know for sure.  But, he’s in the best place he can be right now.  They’ll watch him like a hawk up there.  Then, Manning’s going to fit him with a portable monitor he can wear all the time for a while.”

Camarin, who had been quiet throughout the siblings’ conversation, stood now.  “It sounds like the worst is over.  Why don’t…”  Her words were cut off by a brief knock at the door, followed by the door opening allowing Kelly Brackett to step inside.

“Oh good.  You’re all here.”

Justin knew the doctor was not here for a social call.  “Doc?”

Brackett stepped farther into the room and leaned against Justin’s desk with a sigh.  “I just checked on Johnny.  He’s running a fever and he has some congestion in his lungs.”

Hannah could actually feel all the air leave the room.  “Pneumonia?”

“I’ll need a chest X-ray to confirm it, but I believe so.”

Justin began pacing the room.  “I don’t understand, Doc.  He was fine earlier.  He wasn’t coughing…he felt great.”

Brackett understood the physical therapist’s frustration.  Everyone involved with Johnny’s case had been amazed he managed to avoid pneumonia with the injuries he sustained.  It seemed unfair that he was developing it now.  “I know, Justin.  It could be that he was feeling worse than he was letting on.  We all know how anxious he was to get out of here.  Or, it could simply have hit him suddenly.  Bob thinks the infection may have triggered an arrhythmia and because Johnny’s heart was still healing, it led to what happened this afternoon.”

“So, what now?”  Camarin knew a diagnosis of pneumonia wasn’t a good thing.  She had seen many on the reservation die from it.  But, she held onto hope that Johnny’s chances of survival would be greater here in Los Angeles.

Brackett stood and began making his way to the door.  “I’ve already started him on a broad spectrum antibiotic.  Once I get the results of his labs, I can switch to whatever one will be most effective.  The good news is, we caught this early.  The bad news is…well, Johnny’s heart doesn’t need the increased workload.  And, with the re-injury of his ribs and sternum, the coughing has him feeling pretty miserable.”  He paused long enough to allow the others to absorb this information.

Hannah’s voice was soft, as if she were a child asking for some treat she knew would be denied.  “Can I see him?”

Brackett smiled at Hannah and Camarin.  “I’ve already arranged for both of you to see him.  His nurse is expecting you.  If you need me for anything, I’ll be downstairs.”

Hannah took a deep breath and started down the hall.  John would be okay.  She refused to accept any other outcome.  And they would be married if they had to wait until they were old and gray.  With that thought, an idea popped into Hannah’s mind.  She quickened her step.

zzz

Hannah and Camarin stopped at the nurses’ station in the center of the CCU ward.  Hannah waited until the young nurse seated there was finished studying the monitor screen in front of her and looked up, smiling.  “We’re here to see John Gage.  Dr. Brackett said it would be okay…”

“Yes.  He’s in six.  His nurse, Suzy, is with him now.  You can wait right outside until she’s finished.”  The young nurse pointed toward the cubicle directly across from the station.

Hannah led the way, and the two women stood silently outside the door after peeking through the observation window only to have their view blocked by the drawn privacy curtain.  Finally, a plump middle aged nurse with bright red hair and a warm smile appeared in the doorway.  She did not question the presence of the visitors.  The taller woman had to be her patient’s sister, the resemblance was striking.  The shorter one was probably his fiancée.  “You can go on in.  I should warn you, he’s having a pretty rough time.”

“Thank you.”  Camarin voiced her gratitude while Hannah offered the nurse a nod and a half smile.  She rested a hand on Hannah’s back.  “Why don’t you go in first?  I saw a sign for the lounge.  It’s down the hall.  You can come get me when you’re finished.”

Hannah nodded.  “Okay.  Thanks, Cam.”

Camarin gave her soon-to-be-sister a hug.  “Take your time, okay?”

Hannah nodded again and entered the cubicle.  She pulled back the curtain and momentarily froze in place.  She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting.  Maybe it was because the last time she had seen Johnny, he looked almost like his normal self.  A little thin and tired maybe, but compared to this…

Johnny was lying at a 45 degree angle on the bed, a nasal cannula supplying him with oxygen, and a wet washcloth covering his sweat-soaked bangs.  The cardiac monitor above the bed was silent, but the blips raced alarmingly across the screen.  Hannah assumed the sound had been turned off so as not to further stress the patient.  Pillows were supporting his still healing legs, and he was clutching a small pillow to his chest.  All of this Hannah had expected.

But what she hadn’t expected was the look in Johnny’s eyes when he turned to see who had just entered his room.  They were moist and stained red with the misery he was feeling.  But almost worse than that, Johnny looked…beaten.  The ghost of a victimized child hid in plain view.  Hannah went to him immediately, having decided in that brief second she would not be leaving his side until he was feeling better.  She picked up his hand, startled by how warm it was.  Apparently the fever was higher than she had thought.  “Hi.  I won’t ask how you’re feeling…”

“Hannah…what’re you…doing here?”  Speaking caused a rattle in Johnny’s chest that erupted into a full blown cough.  He squeezed the pillow as tightly as he could, and cursed the tears that ran down his cheeks.  “God…hurts…”  He coughed some more.

Hannah did what she could to help Johnny, which to her dismay, was frustratingly little.  After the coughing spell had abated, she smoothed his hair soothingly while she answered his question.  “I’m here to take care of you.  And I’m not leaving until you’re feeling better.”

“They’ll…throw you…out.”  Johnny’s breathing was shallow and every movement caused sharp pains to move through his chest.  He couldn’t hold back the weak moans that escaped from time to time, and he felt angry with himself for not wanting Hannah to see him like this.  She was going to be his wife.  How did that go again?  For better or worse?  In sickness or health?

Hannah smiled.  “I’d like to see them try.”

Johnny’s eyes pleaded with her as he thought of something else.  “Shouldn’t…be here…the baby…”

“Will be just fine.”  Hannah removed the cloth from Johnny’s forehead, ran it under cold water, and replaced it.  “Now, tell me what you need.”

Johnny allowed his eyes to close under Hannah’s calming hands.  “You…all I…need is…you.”

Hannah surreptitiously wiped the tears out of her eyes before returning to her task.  It appeared Johnny was ready for sleep, so she sat down on the small chair beside the bed, never letting go of his hand.  She hadn’t been there three seconds when Johnny began shifting uncomfortably, his free, but splinted, hand clumsily pulling at the blanket.

“Hot…”

Hannah eyed the call button, wondering if she should get Suzy back in here.  She decided to give it a little more time.  “Ok, honey.  Relax…let me do it.”  Hannah pulled the blanket down all the way, leaving him covered by the thin sheet.  “That better?”

Johnny tried to answer, but his words were cut off by another harsh cough.  He gasped painfully, unsure how much more of this he could take.  “Oh…God…”

Hannah hit the button, and within seconds, Suzy was back.  Her patient’s obvious distress caused her to frown, an expression Hannah figured did not grace the kind woman’s face very often.  She leaned over her patient.  “John, I’m going to have Dr. Brackett paged.  There’s got to be something we can do to make you more comfortable.”

Hannah watched as Suzy moved quickly to the phone at the desk, all the while doing her best to help Johnny.  Her idea would need to wait until later. 

zzz

Things finally slowed down enough for Roy during the night that he was able to take some time to visit Johnny on one of his runs to Rampart.  He left Billy at the ER base station to gather supplies while he made his way to the CCU.   He arrived at Johnny’s cubicle and peeked in the window to find his partner lying on his left side, wearing an oxygen mask that fogged with each rapid exhalation, his brow knitted in discomfort.  His damp hair and skin spoke of a fever that was raging out of control.  Hannah sat behind him, rubbing his back.  Feeling as though he was somehow invading the couple’s privacy, Roy began to turn around, figuring he would inquire about Johnny’s condition at the nurses’ station and come back for a visit in the morning when he got off shift.  But, just as he began his departure, Hannah looked up and motioned him in.

Hannah knew the questions that would be on Roy’s mind before he could ask them.  “His fever is up, and his last O2 sat was 85 on room air.  They’re giving him as much tramadol as they can, but…”  Hannah’s voice trailed off, knowing that Roy understood the rest.

Roy stepped close to the bed and laid a hand on Johnny’s shoulder.  “Hey, Johnny.  I just stopped in to see how you were doing.  Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but we’ve had back to back runs.”

Johnny’s eyes struggled open at the sound of his best friend’s voice, but he was too exhausted to speak, the effort of breathing wearing him out.

“Listen, you look like you’re in pretty good hands here…”  Roy shot a wink at Hannah who was still rubbing circles on Johnny’s back.  “I’m gonna get going, but I’ll be back in the morning.  By the way, the guys all say hello.”

 

Johnny raised a hand, searching out the strong grip he had learned to draw comfort from during occasions such as these.  He felt Roy’s hand wrap around his own, and he held on, not ready to let him go just yet.

Roy lingered, not wanting to break the connection Johnny so obviously needed right now until finally, he felt the clammy fingers relax.  Johnny had fallen into a restless sleep.

Hannah stopped her ministrations long enough to rewet the washcloth in the basin of tepid water beside the bed and return it to Johnny’s forehead.  “Brackett was in before he left for the night.  He said if John’s respiratory status doesn’t improve in the next few hours, they’ll need to sedate him and rest him on a ventilator.  I understand why…his heart is really working hard with the struggle to breathe and the infection.  But, Roy…I’m scared.  I need to be able to talk to him…I need to know that he’s…well, that he’s still with me.  You know?”

Roy’s mind wandered to all the times Johnny had been seriously injured, and how frightening it was to watch his friend drifting farther and farther away from him.  How he had repeatedly shouted his name, pinched his fingers…knowing that if he allowed Johnny to get away from him, he might never get him back.  It was the most helpless feeling in the world.  “Yeah…I know.”

The idea that Hannah had earlier suddenly became even more pressing.  “Roy, do you have a minute?”

Roy glanced down at the silent handi-talki in his hand.  “Sure.”

Hannah paused for a second, as if gathering her thoughts.  “Roy…do you think it would be possible for John and I to get married right here?”

Roy was slightly taken aback, although not surprised by Hannah’s question.  “Well, sure.  I guess it would be possible.  Johnny and I once brought in a woman in who fainted at her wedding.  They ended up getting married in her hospital room.  Of course, that wasn’t the CCU…”

“Right…”  Hannah looked disappointed.

“It couldn’t hurt to ask Brackett about it.  But, Hannah…Johnny’s going to be okay…”

Hannah wiped her eyes with the balled up tissue she pulled from her pocket.  “I know…it’s just…if anything were to happen…I just need to be married to him.  God…that sounds crazy…”

Roy walked around the bed until he was standing right next to Hannah.  He leaned in and made eye contact, his face exuding the warmth and compassion that came so easily to him.  “It’s not crazy.”

Hannah smiled.  “Thanks, Roy.  But, I suppose I should run it past John first.”

At the mention of his name, Johnny stirred.  “Mmmm?”

Hannah stood and leaned over him.  “Shh…go back to sleep.”

But Johnny was awake now, and sleep was not coming easily.  “Run…what…”

Hannah shook her head, wondering how much of her conversation with Roy Johnny had heard.  “Nothing, John.  We can talk about it in the morning.”

Roy squeezed Johnny’s foot through the blanket.  “She’s right, Johnny.  You need your rest now.  I’ll see you in a few hours.”  Roy whispered a goodbye to Hannah and left the room.

Johnny wanted nothing more than to be able to rest, but his drug numbed mind was confusing the brief pieces of conversation he had overheard while drifting in the fitful twilight of half-sleep.  “Hannah…what…”

Knowing her fiancé well enough to know he wasn’t going to settle back down into sleep until he knew what she and Roy had been discussing, she moved around to the opposite side of the bed, so she could face him.  “I was asking Roy if he thought we could get married here in the hospital.”

“What…when?”

“As soon as possible.  I’ve been thinking.  I don’t need a fancy wedding.  I just want to be your wife.  The sooner, the better.”

Johnny shook his head, clearly becoming agitated.  He would not allow Hannah to give up the special day she had been planning and looking forward to just because of him.  “No…”

“It’s okay, honey.  We can talk about it later…”  Hannah smoothed Johnny’s hair, noting the fiery heat emanating from his skin.  She reached for the thermometer that was on the table near the bed.  “Open up.  I want to check your temp…”

“No!”  The exclamation was as emphatic as Johnny could manage in his weakened, breathless state.  “You…deserve…special day…”

Hannah temporarily replaced the thermometer, and leaned in, kissing Johnny’s cheek.  “Every day I have with you is a special day.”

Johnny closed his eyes, helpless to make himself heard.  He fell back into unsettled sleep thinking he and Hannah would discuss this further as soon as he was able.

Hannah sat down on the chair beside the bed.  She reached through the bedrail and held Johnny’s hand, leaning her forehead against the rail.  She was exhausted herself, and she knew the baby needed her to sleep.  As she began to drift off, she began to think that maybe she should rethink her idea to get married in the hospital.  She knew Johnny wanted to be married as much as she did, but she also knew how important it was to him to make her happy.  The last thing she wanted to do was enter into the marriage with regrets.  And the possibility that she was somehow jinxing Johnny’s recuperation by not having faith that he would get better for the wedding they had planned niggled at her normally unsuperstitious mind.  She fell asleep easily, looking forward to her walk down the aisle.  A picture of Johnny waiting for her at the altar, his beautiful smile lighting his face, led her into sweet dreams.

Part 6