Manual Labor

By Marty P.

“I tell ya, guys,” Johnny Gage flipped the page in the manual over. “It says right here, “ he stabbed his finger on line 7. “A broom should be used on the floor first, and then the mop.”

“Lemme see that,” Chet growled, snatching the booklet out of the paramedic’s hand. He recited the same sentence.

Chet Kelly paused, shrugged and then leaned the mop handle against the wall. “Hey, Roy, weren’t we doing what we always do to clean the dayroom?”

Roy, who had no desire to get involved in the neverending rivalry between the two men, nodded briefly.

The trio heard Captain Stanley’s footsteps approaching and Johnny vanished from the room, almost colliding with his superior. “Where’s the fire?” He called after him, chuckling at his quip.

“Well, Kelly, that mop isn’t gonna clean the floor by itself.” The captain circumvented a wet spot and selected an apple from the bowl on the kitchen table.

“Gage says we aren’t following SOP on cleaning the floor,” Chet groused.

“Oh? I don’t recall a new procedure manual being issued on that.” Cap took a bite of the crisp apple.

Chet retrieved the small volume Johnny had left on the sofa and passed it over to the captain. He leafed through it. “Hmm… wonder where Johnny found this.”

“What is it, Cap?” Chet stood on his tiptoes to peer over the taller man’s shoulder.

Hank Stanley pointed to the date on the title page. “See this? It came out in 1895.”

“1895?” The curly haired fireman paused, “You mean when they had horses pulling fire wagons?”

“Yup,” Roy DeSoto chimed in. “I can’t imagine taking care of livestock and having your living quarters right above them.”

“Don’t forget there woulda been coal in use all the time to keep the water in the steam pumper’s boiler hot. The dust from the coal got on everything,” the Captain added.

“Didn’t they spend a lot of time shining their equipment, too?” The fireman picked up a rag for polishing the furniture.

“What the public doesn’t understand is that keeping our machinery and tools spotless are the way we make sure they are always working right. Dirty apparatus gets clogged or doesn’t function when we need it most.” The captain reminded his men.

“That’s true, but back then they had a ton more work around the station, just keeping the place clean.” Chet emitted a whistle of admiration.

“Uh, Cap?” Roy came closer to the man in charge. “What does it say about…”

“…cleaning the latrine?” Johnny’s prankster interrupted.

The captain thumbed through the small paperback and at last announced, “Latrines are to be cleaned three times daily.”

Chet Kelly snorted, and then sniggered with delight, “Can we tell him? I mean he wants us to follow the manual and all.”

“Why not? It’ll be good for him,” Captain Stanley strolled from the dayroom and tracked Johnny down in the bathroom. “Uh, Gage. Thanks for bringing the standard procedures for the station to my attention.”

“Anytime, Cap. Always glad to be of service.” He smiled broadly, but sobered when he saw Chet and Roy hovering nearby.

“Johnny, I wanted to remind you to clean the latrine three times today,” the captain continued.

The paramedic’s eyes widened in astonishment, “I don’t get it, Cap.”

“You see, the handbook states this area needs attention not once, but three times each day.”

“But, that’s ridiculous,” Johnny protested. “I mean we never have before.”

“It’s not a bad idea, Junior,” Roy spoke up. “I mean it can get grungy after we scrub it in the morning.”

“Yeah, but the guy who messed it up does it then.”

“Gage, I’m just going by procedure.” Hank waved the pamphlet in the air.

Johnny sighed, and then admitted, “I found that laying around and thought I could get Chet’s goat.”

“Well, I guess it backfired on you, Pal.” The captain crossed his arms and rocked back on his heels.

There was a moment of silence and then, Johnny turned on the faucet. “Didn’t that guide come out a long time ago? Cap, you aren’t really serious about me cleaning the washrooms more than once today, are you?”

“Sure am, Gage. It’s not gonna kill you. Now get to work.” Hank Stanley pivoted without a backwards glance. He began to study the publication and muttered to himself, “Maybe we need to revisit the policies in here and implement some of them.”

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May Picture 2014            Stories by Marty P.