Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, of course. But I cannot resist having a little fun with them.
Of Bubbles and Duckies
By: Vanessa Sgroi
Firefighter-Paramedic John Gage pushed the door of his Land Rover shut and turned toward Station 51. He sauntered toward the building, sipping on the coffee he’d purchased on the commute in to work. It was a beautiful California morning, sunny and warm, and Johnny was in a terrific mood.
Entering through the back door of the apparatus bay, Gage walked into the kitchen and greeted the guys from C-shift who were set to go off duty. Chet Kelly was the only other member of A-shift to have arrived. After a few minutes of small talk, Johnny tossed his now empty cup in the trash, and moved toward the locker room. Whistling as he walked through the door, Johnny’s thoughts were on the coming shift and some things he needed to mention to his partner.
Two steps inside the door, Johnny stopped dead and his mouth dropped open in shock. The blood drained from his face, and he felt sweat break out all over his body.
**Oh, NO. No-no-no! I can’t believe this!**
Outside the locker room, he heard a round of goodbyes and then footsteps heading toward the locker room. In a panic, he rushed back through the door and slammed his hands against the doorjamb, blocking the way. Roy DeSoto and Mike Stoker looked at him in surprise.
“You can’t go in there!”
Roy was the first to respond. “What do you mean we can’t go in there? It’s the locker room, and we need to change into our uniforms.”
Mike chimed in with, “Yeah, and so do you!”
“No. You just can’t, okay? Not right now.”
“Johnny, look, Cap’s gonna call roll call soon. C’mon.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
Exasperated at his partner’s antics, Roy’s hands flew to his hips, as he said, “WHY can’t we go into the locker room?”
Captain Stanley and Marco Lopez walked up to the three men just as Roy finished his question.
“I’d like to know the answer to that myself, Gage.” Captain Stanley raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
“Umm,” Johnny’s eyes darted to each of his shift mates, “because the Phantom struck again.”
Hank looked Johnny up and down. “Hmm, you’re not wet so it wasn’t a water bomb.”
“N-no. Not a water bomb. It’s worse.” The other firefighters were intrigued by the red staining Gage’s cheeks.
The captain looked at his watch, noting that it was five minutes before 8:00 o’clock. He looked back at his youngest crew member.
“It can’t be that bad, Gage. Roll call is five minutes and the three of you still need to change into uniform.”
“But . . . but . . .”
“Gage, I suggest you let everyone into the locker room.”
“But, I’ll . . .”
A fierce frown from Hank Stanley stopped Johnny’s protest cold. With great reluctance, he dropped his arms and moved aside to let his co-workers pass through the door. The laughter began moments later.
Behind them Johnny muttered, “It’s not that funny!”
Roy attempted to stifle his laughter as he stared at the poster-sized picture mounted in front of Johnny’s locker. It was an enlarged color photograph of Johnny in a bubble bath. His long body was scrunched into the tub; his knees were nearly touching his chin. Frothy white bubbles formed mountains around him. A yellow rubber ducky floated near his shoulder. He was sound asleep, his head resting against the back of the tub and his mouth hanging open.
Chuckles continued to fill the room. Johnny stalked over to the offending photograph and tried to pull it down. It didn’t budge.
“Johnny, how in the world did Chet manage THAT?” DeSoto had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the disgruntled look on his partner’s face.
Suddenly, Chet spoke from the doorway. The huge grin on his face told the whole story. “I can answer that one. Remember a few weeks ago when Johnny had that really bad cold?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he asked me to swing by and bring him some cold medicine. So I did. We watched some TV, and I had a beer. Then Johnny said he was going to go take a shower so I left. But I forgot something. His door wasn’t latched tight so I just went in. I called to him but he didn’t answer and I didn’t hear any water running, so I went to check.”
“And you found him in the tub with a rubber duck,” replied Stoker, grinning.
“Exactly. So I grabbed my camera out of the van. It was too good an opportunity to pass up. ”
“I’ll say!” Marco started to laugh again.
Johnny scowled as he once again tried to pull the picture down. “Ask a guy to do you a favor and look what happens,” he grumbled, “I’ll never live this down.”
Taking pity on the hapless paramedic, Captain Stanley interrupted, “Gentlemen, I suggest you hurry and change. Roll call is already late in coming. Afterward, Chet, you get that thing down and dispose of it. And I don’t mean just put it in your van. I mean destroy it.”
“Ah, Cap . . .”
Again, one look from the captain stopped any protest. Satisfied, Hank turned and left the locker room, followed by Chet and Marco.
The dark-haired paramedic yanked open his locker door and quickly started to change clothes without saying anything.
“A bubble bath, Junior? I would never have guessed.”
Johnny glared at his partner. “I had a cold. The hot water felt good.”
“But a rubber ducky?”
“Hey, it was the one your daughter gave me. I promised her I’d use it.”
“I’ll make sure to let her know you do,” Roy snickered.
Johnny did no more than sigh deeply as he finished tucking in his shirt.
Seven minutes later, the crew from A-shift was in line for roll call. Just before Captain Stanley began speaking, Chet leaned over and whispered in Gage’s ear, “Oh, I forgot to mention—I’ve got lots of copies and the firemen’s picnic is coming up soon.”
Johnny groaned loudly.
“Gage, is there a problem?” Captain Stanley growled.
“No. No, Cap, everything’s . . . uh . . . fine.”
The rest of roll call passed in a blur for Johnny Gage, as he tried desperately to figure out just how to get his hands on those pictures and then plan his revenge.
* * * The End * * *
Many, many thanks to my beloved firefighter friend, Jason Cameron Peschie, for inspiring this fun idea!
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