Rescue At The Quack Of Dawn

By Wanda

Johnny awoke and padded off for the bathroom, whistling off key as he locked the door and climbed into the shower. He was anticipating meeting his new neighbor today. She had all the right curves in all the right places, but with Jennifer DeSoto staying overnight the night before he didn’t have the chance.

Now he was going to put his best foot forward and meet her. He climbed out of the shower and toweled off. Only as he grabbed the doorknob, it turned but wouldn’t open.

“This can’t be happening,” he groused to himself, as he tried to open the door again. He bent down and looked more closely at the door as he turned the knob again. He noticed the bolt from the knob’s locking mechanism was still in the doorframe.

“Oh, this is just great!” he muttered angrily as he looked around for something, anything, to help get him out of this predicament. Then he spotted his bottle opener sitting on a shelf. Why it was in there he didn’t remember, but he grabbed it anyway.

He began to work at the hinge pins. Popping one and then another out of place, he grinned triumphantly, until he remembered the door swung inward. “Oh man, am I stuck,” he muttered as he wrapped a towel around himself and sat down on the toilet seat cover, hoping someone would find him.

“Now how am I gonna get out of here?” he wondered aloud. “Oh man, Cap’s gonna skin me alive tomorrow when I don’t show up at the station,” he placed his head in his hands as he wished for the umpteenth time that he had a phone in the bathroom so he could at least call for help of some kind.

The Next Shift

Roy checked his watch and grimaced. Five more minutes partner and you’ll be late.

“Where’s Gage?” Stanley stormed into the Apparatus bay.

Everyone shrugged not knowing where the missing paramedic was. Cap muttered something unintelligible and walked into the dayroom. Spotting Dwyer he asked, “Hey Tom, would you mind pulling some overtime today? Gage hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Sure, Cap, I don’t mind getting some overtime,” Tom agreed.

“Hey, Roy, where’s Johnny?” asked Marco.

“I don’t know, but right now I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, if he decides to show up anytime soon.”

“Oh I’ll agree with you there,” Marco replied as Stanley returned from the dayroom with Tom Dwyer in tow, and doling out assignments.

Johnny woke up to the sound of a knock on his apartment door. “HEY!” he yelled. “I need some help!”

He heard a muffled voice say something that he couldn’t make out, and hoped the person knocking on his door had heard him.

As soon as roll call was finished, the tones sounded. “Station 51... Unknown type rescue… 214 West Bank Street Apartment 3G, cross street Carson. Time out 8:05.”

“Station 51... KMG-365,” Stanley replied as he handed Roy the slip. Hank’s pace increased as he ran to his place on the Engine. That’s Gage’s apartment. I wonder what type of trouble he’s gotten himself into this time.

Both rescue vehicles pulled up in front of the building, “Stoker, Lopez, why don’t you two stay here and we’ll check this out. Come on Kelly let’s go with Roy and Tom.”

The four firefighters from Station 51 went up the three flights of stairs to Johnny’s apartment. Stanley knocked on the door. He heard a muffled, “HEY!” come from inside.

Roy reached up and grabbed Johnny’s spare key from above the door. “I know it’s not an original hiding place…” he shrugged. Roy unlocked the door and could hear Johnny pounding on the bathroom door.

“HEY! I’m in here, the lock broke!”

Johnny thought he heard the sound of muffled laughter from the other side of the door. Then he heard a voice he would regret hearing for a long time to come. “What’s the matter, Gage? Got yourself locked in and now you can’t get out?”

Johnny groaned at the unmistakable voice of Chet Kelly. He looked up at the ceiling. “Why me? Why does this stuff always happen to me?”

Then John heard the voice of Captain Stanley from the other side of the door. “John, step back from the door.”

Johnny stepped back and sat down on the lid of the toilet, while on the other side of the door Captain Stanley stepped back and then kicked. The door headed inwards and Stanley was able to maneuver it away from the doorframe. Then he inspected it closer noting that the spring had broken in the locking mechanism.

“Roy, Dwyer, you want to check him out?” Stanley went out the door, still chuckling, and Kelly stuck his head in and noticed the rubber ducky sitting in the bathtub. Kelly rubbed his hands together as he grinned and thought, This is gonna give me so much ammunition for the Phantom. I can’t wait.

Roy did a quick check over Johnny. “Cap, Johnny’s not dehydrated, but he says he spent the whole day and last night locked in the bathroom, without any food. He’s only had this towel to keep him warm. I’d like to send him to Rampart, just to make sure he’s okay.”

“Alright, and John, next time you get locked in the bathroom hide your rubber ducky.”

The hapless paramedic looked up at Stanley, and hollered, “Caap!”

Stanley turned away and chuckled all the way down the steps to the engine, where he regaled to Stoker and Lopez how Johnny got locked in the bathroom. He remembered to include the part about the rubber ducky in the tub.

Both Stoker and Lopez leaned on each other as their laughter joined Stanley’s.

At Rampart

“Johnny, would you mind telling me how you got into this predicament?” Dr. Brackett asked.

Johnny, now dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, was seated on the examination table. “NO!” Johnny stated and then turned his head away.

Roy told Brackett the tale and Dixie walked in on the last part of it about the rubber ducky. She started to snicker a bit.

John turned and hollered at Roy, “Well the least you could have done was take it with you, since Jennifer forgot it.”

Roy smiled, “Jennifer didn’t lose it, she said she left it there for you to keep you company. She said she thought you were too lonely being by yourself.”

Once it was determined that John wasn’t suffering any ill effects from his experience, Brackett released him.

Following Shift

Chet arrived at the station first. He quickly placed a small supply of objects in his locker. Then he went over John’s locker and placed something in it. Then he waited.

John was the final one to arrive. He had accomplished a lot of things over his time off, like replacing the doorknob and rehanging the door. This time making sure the mechanism wouldn’t break so easily as the last had.

He made his way over to his locker, opening the door, he noticed something yellow peaking out from under one of his magazines. He reached in, pulling out a rubber duck.

“Okay, who did this?” he asked as he held the duck for all to see.

“What’s a matter, Gage, get lonely and have to bring your ducky to the station?” Chet asked innocently.

Johnny, a look of annoyance on his face, wagged the ducky in Chet’s face. “You did this, didn’t you? I know you did, Chet.”

Chet looked as innocent as an angel. “Who me?”

“Of course you!” John replied as he tossed the duck at Kelly.

Kelly looked sadly at John and shook his head. “To think you wouldn’t trust your own shift-mates. John I’m surprised at you,” Chet replied as he stuffed the duck into his pocket unseen by Johnny. Chet opened his locker and pulled out two more, hiding them and then, he closed his locker and passed the other guys who were in various stages of dressing.

Marco muttered something under his breath in Spanish, and left the locker room following Chet.

“What did I say?” John asked defensively.

“I think you hurt Chet’s feelings,” Roy replied.

“Chet? Feelings? The day he gets feelings is the day the world will stop spinning.” John slammed the locker, heading out towards the apparatus bay.

Cap had everyone line up for roll call and began handing out the daily chores, giving Johnny latrine duty. Chet suddenly seemed in an awfully good mood, as he whistled while helping Stoker polish the engine.

The tones sounded calling the squad out on a run for a person trapped in their bathroom. Johnny rolled his eyes as he headed for the squad and jumped inside. He turned and grabbed his helmet, plunking it on his head. As he tightened the chinstrap, a loud squeak erupted from the top of his head. “What the heck…!” Johnny yelled as he pulled his helmet off and saw the duck sitting inside.

“Chet!” he yelled as he pulled the ducky out, and lobbed it out the window as the squad began rolling forward. It hit Chet squarely between the eyes.

Chet raised a fist and screamed back, “The Phantom’ll get ya for that, GAGE!”

“Squad 51 available,” Johnny groused as he climbed into the squad. “Can you believe that? Of all the stupid things to do. I ask you Roy, how do you get a plunger stuck in the toilet?”

Before Roy could answer Johnny continued. “Why call the fire department? He should have called a plumber.”

“Let’s head over to Rampart for supplies,” Roy, who finally got a word in, suggested.

Johnny picked up the mike and spoke into it. “Squad 51 10-8 to Rampart Hospital, for supplies.”

The he heard, “Squad 51,” from over the radio.

“Well you heard what the guy said,” Roy commented.

“Yeah, his four-year-old flushed her rubber ducky down the toilet.” John groaned again. If this was the way this day was going to go maybe he should have stayed in bed.

Roy and John walked down the hall towards Dixie’s desk.

“Roy, John,” Dixie greeted them. Roy went over to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“You want a cup of coffee?” Dixie asked John.

“Yeah--it might help with the day I’m having.”

She turned her back to them, as she filled a mug. She handed it to Johnny with a sweet smile.

“Thanks, Dix,” he said as he brought the cup to his lips. Then he noticed it, something glittery floating and melting in his coffee.

John groaned, as Dix laughed and Roy leaned over to take a closer look at the object. It was a sugarcoated marshmallow duck.

“Not you too?!” John practically whined. John put the cup down disgustedly, and turned on his heel heading down the hall.

“Hey, where ya going?” Roy hollered after him.

“I’ll be in the squad, whenever you two come to your senses,” John shouted over his shoulder as the sound of Roy and Dixie’s laughter reached his ears.

At that moment, Doctor Brackett left exam room 2. He spotted Johnny leaving in a huff, and then Roy and Dixie sharing a good laugh. “Hey you two, what’s the matter with John?”

Roy couldn’t speak, so he pointed down in John’s abandoned cup of coffee.

In between her boughts of laughter Dixie managed to get out, “I gave him a present.”

A huge smile passed over Brackett’s face as he leaned over and got a glimpse of the marshmallow duck, and then he turned down the hall himself, heading for the next patient who needed his services. Silently he wondered if John Gage were going to make it through this day.

The squad backed into the apparatus bay. John had avoided talking to Roy for the whole trip. He flew out of the squad before Roy could stop backing it in.

Going over to the supply closet he pulled out the cleaning supplies for the latrine, and headed to get that job done. Walking into the locker area he began scrubbing the sinks. Then went to clean the toilets and found a rubber duck floating in the first one.

John groaned and muttered to himself about ducks, phantoms, and crazy Irish firemen as he fished the rubber duck out. Then he slammed it into the garbage can with a flourish, feeling satisfied.

Finished with cleaning the latrine, he headed out to put the supplies away. The tones went off again, this time sending the squad to a run at a Chinese Restaurant.

As John and Roy climbed out of the squad and grabbed their gear, a little balding man was standing outside waiting for them. He ran over to Roy tugging on Roy’s shirt-sleeve, “Please, you have to hurry, it’s my son. He’s choking.”

“Could you take us to where he is?” Roy asked as John followed closely behind.

“We were celebrating the fact that he got his first paycheck tonight, that is his mother and I were celebrating with him. And we decided to try the Cantonese Duck….”

John cleared his throat, “Did you say duck?”

“Why, yes I did. Have you tried it? It’s really good,” the man commented.

“Uh… No… I haven’t tried it, “John replied. And I don’t think I’ll have anything to do with ducks for the rest of my life.

John stepped up behind the young man to perform the Heimlich maneuver, but the younger man waved him off. He looked up at John and Roy sheepishly. “I’m fine, I accidentally swallowed the wrong way but was able to get it out on my own.”

Roy looked over at him, “Are you sure your all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks again,” the younger man replied as he signed an MICU form.

Then Roy and John both turned and exited the restaurant. As soon as they put the equipment back up and closed the doors on the squad, John turned to Roy and held up a finger. “Not one word about this.”

Roy shook his head back and forth and burst out laughing as he walked around to the driver’s side of the door and climbed in, joining his jumpy partner.

Roy was cooking dinner while Johnny was in the Cap’s office working on the logs. First Chet and his duck humor. Now all the runs have been duck-related. Didn’t know there were that many ducks loose in this city….

Then he heard the unmistakable voice of Jennifer DeSoto’s favorite character from Sesame Street, singing “Rubber Ducky.”

Then he heard something else, the sound of a Squeak, Squeak, squeaking along with the ducky in the song. John slowly turned his head around and there was Chet, holding a rubber duck in his hand.

“Chet, if you don’t get out of here with that thing I’m gonna….”

Chet ran out of the room as if the devil himself were after him.

“Cap!” John yelled as he tried to find the source of the music. Stanley stuck his head in his office, and heard the song too. Then he began to laugh.

“Cap, can you do something about Chet! He’s really gone overboard this time,” John pleaded to his superior.

Stanley began to have some sympathy on his paramedic’s jangled nerves. “Kelly!” Stanley called and Chet slowly made his appearance.

“What, Cap?” Chet asked innocently.

“Why don’t you do us all a favor and remove the source of that music, because if you don’t I’ll make it latrine duty for a month.”

“Ahhh, Cap,” Chet whined.

“Look, Pal, it’s really getting on John’s nerves and it’s beginning to get on mine. You don’t want your Captain upset. Do you?” Stanley asked as one of his eyebrows rose.

“No… sir,” Chet responded and he quickly found his tape recorder that he used to tape the song off of his niece’s record.

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful, except when Johnny undressed to lay down in his bunk. As soon as he put his head down on the pillow he heard at least three muffled squeaks.

Johnny sat up and turned his pillow over finding three little bumps between the pillow and the pillowcase. He reached in and pulled three rubber duckies out.

“Chet! Is anything sacred!” John bellowed as lobbed all three over at Kelly.

“Hey!” Chet hollered as the sound of three squeaks hit their target.

“KELLY!” Stanley’s voice boomed from the other end of the dorm. There were snickers from Lopez and Stoker.

Finally everyone settled down for the night.

The emergency lighting came on as the tones sounded. It sounded like a big one, only thing bothering Johnny was the fact that the address was at a duck processing plant.

Johnny jumped feet first into his boots hearing two squeaks simultaneously. He pulled his feet back out, finding Chet had placed a ducky in each one of his turnout boots.

“This is getting ridiculous, Roy! The Phantom is gonna get his, mark my words The Phantom will get his!”

Johnny slipped his feet back in pulling his pants up and slipping his arms into the suspenders. Then he ran for the squad. Jumping in he still couldn’t believe that Chet had sabotaged his boots.

Both the Engine and the Squad pulled in front of the building that was on its way to being thoroughly engulfed. The plant supervisor ran up to Captain Stanley. “I’ve already checked, everyone’s accounted for.”

“That’s great news,” Stanley pulled the man over and began getting his crew at work. At the same moment 110’s pulled onto the scene.

Harris and Maxwell were two of the most obnoxious men at 110’s. They were like the Laurel and Hardy of the Fire Department. Harris was tall and skinny, while Maxwell was short and heavy set.

“John, Roy. Grab an inch and a half and get ready to work on this wall.” Johnny nodded while he reached into his turnout pockets to grab his gloves. That’s when he felt them and groaned again. He pulled out two rubber duckies.

John shot a look of annoyance over at Chet while he threw the duckies down on the ground. Harris, who had observed the whole scene, dug Maxwell in the ribs with his elbow.

“Hey, Max!” Harris shouted a little loudly, “Gage over there thinks he’ll find some time to take a bath around here.”

“OH? Why’s that?” asked Maxwell.

“He brought his rubber duckies,” Harris started laughing as he picked up one of the discarded ducks and showed it to Maxwell.

“Oh, he did, did he?” Maxwell grinned hugely. His beefy hands grabbed a hold of the inch and a half. He pulled on the line and dragged it across the ground towards the fire.

Harris got behind him, backing him up as Johnny and Roy pulled one off of Engine 51 and went into the burning building. “I hear ya had to bring your duckies to the fire,” he smirked.

John tired to ignore the other man, but his remarks were grinding on his nerves. “Those weren’t my duckies they were Chet’s.”

Maxwell guffawed and Harris snickered as Roy placed a claming hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Take it easy partner, and let Laurel and Hardy’s remarks roll off your back.”

John hissed over his shoulder, “Oh, I’m trying, partner, I’m really trying.”

After fighting the fire for a few long hours, and smelling the stink of charred duck and feathers, Johnny was ready to head back to the station and get the stench off of him and out of his nose. As soon as the squad backed in, John hollered, “I’m hitting the shower first,” and off he went.

As he climbed into the shower he found his next worst nightmare sitting in the shower with him. A duck soap on a rope. “CHET!” he screamed, and then he decided, ‘Well he left it here. So I’m gonna go ahead and use it!’

After showering he reached out to grab his towel only he found his nice thick towel had been changed for a smaller Duck print one. “Oh this is it. KELLY, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!”

The others wanted to find out what had Johnny so riled, and found him being able to barely hold the towel around his midsection with one hand.

Marco, Mike and Roy all burst out laughing. Captain Stanley was trying to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t. Kelly stuck his head in and spotted Gage trying to be dignified about his latest situation.

“Don’t let those duckies nibble your….”

“Shut up, Kelly!” John bellowed as he looked over at Stanley. “Cap,” he pleaded.

“All right guys, let’s let John get dressed.”

The guys finally left with the sound of their laughter still being brought back to John’s ears. “One of these days. I’d like to catch Kelly in an embarrassing situation!” He seethed.

By the time everyone got their showers done and changed, it was time for C-shift to start arriving at the station. Tom Dwyer walked in and noticed Johnny standing by the counter with a very sour expression on his face.

“Hey, Johnny, I thought I saw something moving around in your Rover.”

“What!” Johnny roared as he stalked out the door with the other guys behind him. Johnny opened the door and the first thing to hit him was the sounds. Sounds of little creatures, peeping at him. Then the smell hit him next. It definitely smelled like very young duck. One of the little critters jumped out of the vehicle and waddled across the lot.

“Catch it!” Johnny yelled and Roy raced after it and caught it. A duckling. Johnny was even more disgusted now, and he raised his fist high up in the air, and swore as Chet drove by in his rattletrap station wagon.

Johnny found the box that Chet had placed in the rover with the ducklings in it. He quickly started grabbing and plopping until they had a good three-dozen peeping and bobbing heads in the box.

Joanne pulled into the lot with Chris and Jennifer sitting in the back. They had come to pick up Roy. As soon as Joanne stopped the station wagon, the DeSoto children climbed out and wanted to know what Johnny had in the box.

Johnny barely choked out, “Ducklings.”

“Oh, can we see?” both children asked at once and, and Johnny tipped the box carefully so the kids could see inside. “Oh they’re so cute!” Jennifer crowed.

She carefully petted one and Chris followed suit. “Uncle Johnny, can we have them, please?”

Johnny shoved the box into the kids’ hands and set to work cleaning his Rover out. Not only did it stink, but it also had little tiny duckling feathers all over the interior.

Joanne and Roy were too busy greeting each other to have noticed the exchange between their children and Johnny. So when they walked over to the station wagon the kids were inside, excitedly chatting about something.

They were halfway home when Roy smelled something, then he heard a peeping noise. That’s when he turned around and noticed the box with the three dozen ducklings inside. He turned back around and grumbled under his breath, “First I’m gonna kill Chet and then Johnny. No court would convict me!”

By the time Johnny got to his apartment he was worn out. Between the fire, and then having to clean up the Rover he was ready for bed.

He walked into his bathroom and went to close the door. That’s when he noticed something on the backside of the door. There was sign on the door that read, “Duck Crossing.”

He tore the sign down and headed out to the dumpster to toss the offensive thing away. As he was doing so, he saw her. His neighbor across the hall, as she parked her car. That’s when he noticed the white uniform for the first time.

“Well, hi there,” he smiled his most charming smile, his anger forgotten.

“Hi, yourself. I’m so glad to see that the fire department was able to get you out. What happened?”

“Long story.” Then he smiled again, “So what’s your name?”

“Kathy.”

“So, where do you work?”

“I’m a nurse at Rampart General, and last night was my first shift.”

“Well, isn’t this a small world. I’m a paramedic with Los Angeles County, and the squad works out of Rampart.”

They chatted awhile, then Johnny flashed his famous smile. By the time Johnny made it back to his apartment he had a date and was floating on cloud nine.

“Good morning!” Johnny called to the other men in the station when he walked into the locker room.

“So what’s got you in such a good mood?” Chet had to know. Possibly more ammunition for The Phantom.

“Oh, I finally met my neighbor from across the hall--turns out she’s a nurse at Rampart.”

“What’s her name?” Chet asked. “I’m sure I could show her a better time than you could.”

“Oh, you think you could? Well, I don’t think so. She digs firefighters, but only as long as they’re paramedics, too. So that let’s you out, Chet!” Johnny snickered as he began to open his locker door.

Suddenly hundreds of little squeaky objects fell out engulfing Johnny in a sea of rubber duckies. “Chet!” Johnny screamed, desperately trying to get out from under the mass of ducks.

Captain Stanley and John’s partner Roy ran into the locker room to Johnny ankle-deep in plastic poultry.

“Cap! Can you do something now?” John begged.

“Sure, Pal.” He turned to Chet. “Kelly, I want you to clean up this mess, get every one of these bath toys picked up and then I don’t want to see, or hear, another duck joke from you for a very long time. IS that clear!”

“Yes sir,” Chet replied, and he quickly set about to cleaning up the mess.

The squad’s first run was a heart attack victim, who steadily went downhill on the way into Rampart. Once John and Roy had dropped their patient off, Johnny noticed Kathy standing in the hallway.

Roy decided to go talk to Dix for a bit while Johnny chatted with Kathy.

“Johnny, about our date tomorrow. Could we go down to the lake and feed the ducks?”

Johnny swallowed hard. “Ducks? Did you say Ducks?” He tried to keep his voice calm, but it began to rise louder. “I HATE DUCKS!” Johnny turned and stormed off.

Dixie looked to Roy who only smiled and replied, “Well there goes another fledgling relationship down the drain.”

Authors Note: First I want to say a very big Thank You to MJ for betaing this. And another big Thank You goes to Theresa for letting me bounce this idea off her. J

Also I want to thank my 5 year-old. Since he was the inspiration for this story, and the fact that he locked us both in the bathroom.