"Red Is For Firefighters"

L.A. County Fire Department Captain Hank Stanley woke up in a strange bed, to the sound of a smoke alarm going off somewhere. ‘Oh…right…San Diego…the seminar.’

Dropping to the floor of his hotel room, the fireman first went to the window and looked out at his emergency exit. Seeing that flames were already shooting out onto the fire escape, thanks to an open window on the floor below him, Stanley dropped back onto his hands and knees and started crawling toward his room’s all-purpose exit.

The Captain placed the back of his hand on the portal. It felt cool to the touch. So, he slowly inched the heavy door open. The hotel’s hallway was relatively smoke-free.

‘The actual fire must be contained to the first floor.’ The guy in the room next to his had obviously been sleeping with his window open and the rising smoke must have set off the alarm he was hearing.

The experienced firefighter went from door to door, on his floor, rousing folks from their sleep and ushering them towards the safety exits.

Just as they were all about to head down and out of the building, the lights went out.

People began to panic.

"Everybody remain calm!" Hank urged, in his most authoritative voice. "We don’t need to see, to get out. Now, everyone just join hands and follow me!" As was his habit, when staying in any strange place, Stanley had memorized the emergency exit route from his room...right down to the number of steps.

Their egress from the burning building was smooth and uneventful.

Once outside, the visiting fireman herded his fellow hotel guests to a street corner a safe distance away. And just in time. Fire companies were beginning to arrive.

Stanley ran up to the first Incident Commander he could spot. "The second floor has been swept. All guests have been evacuated from that floor." Seeing the strange stare his fellow firefighter was giving him, he grinned and added, "Captain Hank Stanley. Los Angeles County Fire Department. Station 51. I’m down here for a seminar on ‘High-rise Fires’."

"Captain Mark Fedrizzi. San Diego County Fire Department. Station 15."

He and his counterpart exchanged grins and handshakes.

"Find this man a blanket," Fedrizzi ordered, and his grin broadened. "Interesting set a’ turn-outs you L.A. guys got there..."

It was then that the visiting Captain realized he was standing there in nothing but a white muscle T-shirt and his red boxers. The ones with little, white, spotted Dalmatians on them. The ones his girls had just given him for Father’s Day. It was also then that Hank Stanley’s face grew to about the same shade of red as his shorts.