Cane Mutiny
by Purry
"I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it!"
"What’s that?"
"It’s unbelievable. Absolutely, unbelievable!"
"What?"
"Man!"
"What?"
"Is nothing sacred anymore?"
"What?"
"I mean…what will it be next?"
"WHAT?"
"Huh?"
"What are you ranting about?"
"Oh!"
"Yeah, oh. Now spit it out, Johnny."
"Well…"
"WHAT?"
"I saw blueberry,
cherry and pineapple
candy canes at the store."
"What?"
"I said I saw…"
"I know what you said."
"Then why did you act like you didn’t?"
"I didn’t…"
"Yes you did."
"No I …wait a minute, wait a minute. Let’s get
back on track here."
"Ok!"
"Tell me why you are so riled about candy
canes."
"It’s not the candy canes parse."
"Parse?!?"
"I know words."
"Yeah, but parse?"
"What’s your point, Roy?"
"Nothing, it’s just I’ve never heard that word
in your vocabulary before."
"I know words."
"Ok, ok…you know words. Use a few to tell me
what it is about candy canes that has you in a snit."
"Snit!"
"Don’t go there, Junior."
"Sure, wear a guy down over using parse, I
bring up snit and get my head bit off."
"Johnny!"
"Ok…As I was saying, It’s not the candy canes
P A R S E, it’s the fact that they are
blueberry, cherry
and pineapple."
"I see, well actually I don’t see. WHAT?"
"What’s happened to tradition? When did
peppermint go out of style?"
"Tradition is tradition it’s up to us to
continue with it. As far as peppermint going out of style, I don’t think
that will ever happen. Blueberry,
cherry and
pineapple are just…other
options. Options for those who don’t like peppermint."
"Not like peppermint, that’s just plan
un-American."
"Well, Johnny, I don’t’ know how to tell you
this but they’re out there. Non-peppermint loving people."
"Man!"
"Yep."
"This world is falling apart. First different
flavored candy canes, next people won’t have their twinkle lights
twinkling."
"Well…"
"No, Roy, no! I don’t want to hear it. Twinkle
lights are meant to twinkle."
"Sure but there are a few non-twinkling
twinkler people out there."
"Argh…"
"Merry Christmas,
Junior."
The End
Merry
Christmas
