Captain Stanley leaned back on his office chair and reread the memo in front of him.
To: All Captains
From: Headquarters
Re: Reports
Effective immediately. At the request of insurance companies you have been asked to give more details when reporting incidents. This will expedite claim settlements.
Chief Houts
The captain tossed the note aside and took a pen from the trough in the top drawer. He didn’t have time for more paperwork and neither did the other captains. Scooting up his chair, he put his elbows on the desk and placed the palms of his hands together contemplating the best way to deal with the latest directive from administration. His eyes twinkled and a look of satisfaction grew over his face as the solution came to him. His high school English teacher had drummed vocabulary words into her students insisting they would use them throughout their adult lives. At last he could put those inane words to good use.
Glancing at his and the paramedics’ scribbled notes from recent calls, he dug in.
April 1. Summit Ridge. West of Grid 37-A. Firebreak B-37. Timeout 0817.
Man unconscious at subterranean residence. Though abode unkempt and extraordinary, inhabitant far from otiose, local proprietor keeps a watchful eye on him and contacted fire department when addressee failed to make weekly sojourn for foodstuffs. Canine threatened to imperil rescue but was safely subdued. Individual bandaged, splinted and shlepped to Rampart for additional care.
April 1. 3045 West National. Timeout 1010. Upon arrival garbologist was leaning over a #10, Cooper Dumpster Model 22-C applying solution from a Type C fire extinguisher. Conflagration contained. Short cleanup occurred.
April 1. 2015 Woodburn Street. Timeout 1233. Paramedics arrived at scene to find a 17-year-old male who consumed unbaked cinnamon comestibles causing a hyper distension of the stomach. Bobborygmus noted upon examination. Patient was transported and treated at Rampart.
April 1. 1127 Elmwood. Apt. 3 Timeout 1504. When Squad 51 materialized at the location, caller guided paramedics to living quarters where victim was indisposed in lavatory. Upon forced entry, firefighter/paramedics verified hallux embedded in spigot. Abstergent applied. Digit dislodged. Paramedics left scene at 1512.
April 4. 10 hundred block Rosemead Lane. Timeout 0915. Urchin trapped at excavation site. At scene firefighters ascertained the youngster was located in a cavity hollowed out for a column. Gage proffered and with facilitation unearthed youth. Treatment rendered and lad transported to Rampart. Captain Stanley paused; Johnny and Roy had notified him that Dr. Brackett suspected child abuse. Two antipodes, parental love and child abuse, existing in the same household. He rubbed his hand across his cheek and sighed.
April 4. Greasy spoon at Hale & Dickens. Timeout 1102. Paramedics DeSoto and Gage appeared at address to tender aid to female. Before container became cullet male admirer agitated contents causing an explosion. Optic injury minor.
April 4. 2049 223rd Street. Timeout 1359. Vehicle hauling a smoldering silver trailer engendered a still alarm at Station 51. Firefighters extinguished blaze and paramedics attended to minor who suffered smoke inhalation and burns. Progenitor apprised captain the law is pellucid: no people in trailer when it is in motion. Yet, he acquiesced to son’s request.
Mammoth Studios. Timeout 1648. DeSoto and Gage examined potentiality of utilizing neoteric technique for rope rescues. Gage donned apparatus and upon descent became embrangled, causing a Code-I. DeSoto escorted Gage to Rampart where probing revealed injuries consisted of discolorations and gibbosities.
April 5. 22123 Florist Blvd. Timeout 0056. Rooming house fire. Squad 51 first at locale. Espied occupants unable to escape without assistance. A hysterical mother defenestrated her infant. Firefighter/paramedic Gage procured child who suffered no damage. While searching, DeSoto and Gage observed a casualty in Room 310 receiving cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Los Angeles County Fire Department ferried the male to Rampart Hospital for further ministration by medical staff. All residents emancipated.
Hank Stanley reread what he’d written, added the memo and put the papers in the interoffice envelope, twirling the string around the apex of the flap to keep it intact. He scrawled ‘Headquarters’ on the appropriate line and tossed it into the tray for pickup.
There, if they decide to make incident cards of these we’ll see how the digerati handle them!
When the Captain Stanley’s reports arrived at headquarters they created quite a pother. Unable to decipher the accuracy of the précises caused the assistants to abrogate the validity of the facts.
A day later Captain Stanley’s statements were routed to Chief Houts. Noting what they were he catechized the need for him to peruse them. He skimmed the descriptions and quickly dictated a new proclamation for the captains.
Los Angeles County Fire Department
To: All captains:
From: Headquarters
Re: Reports
Effective immediately. Use plain English on all reports. This will avoid miscommunication and expedite insurance companies as they settle claims.
Chief Houts
Author’s note: See the following episodes for complete details: Floor Brigade, Great Crash Diet, Tycoons, Hard Hours, Kids, Drivers, Saddled, Hypochondri-Cap, Lighter than Air Man. For assistance in discovering word meanings see www.dictionary.com.
*Click on the dictionary to send Marty P. feedback
Stories By Marty P. 10 Words Challenge
